I know I'm a lot late to the party but I just devoured this fic in two days. I haven't read Buffy fic in ten years and it was great to find something new and wonderful and this beautiful. 

Thank you for writing this fic, I enjoyed it so, so much. 

I love long stories, and this one is a massive undertaking which you have pulled off beautifully. Like others, I have been glued to my tablet every chance I can get, just devouring your work. Thank you so much, it is truly a treat for readers who can enjoy such pieces from the talented writers in our fandom. :)

The was an amazing amd well written, I throughly enjoyed every word, it had me glued to my screen for days. I loved the journey you had each of the characters go on even Xander had grown up a little by the end. The inclusion of Lydia for Giles was a great little add on and someone I could envision him with. Buffy and Spikes journey was masterfully written, thank you. 

Ok so I'm bad and don't usually coment on fics. However it is obvious that you spent a lot of time researching and working to make this piece as wonderful as it is and I just wanted to tell you how greatful I am that you did. It was a really wonderful story with a good mix of action and romance that kept me going through all 76 chapters. You even made me enjoy Buffy POV, which is extremely rare. Really just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed reading your work and thank you for writing it. 

I am twenty years old and I've been reading fanfic since I was twelve in so many different fandoms and I can honestly say that this is the best piece I have ever read. Ever. It's so intricate and well thought out and the characterisation is perfect. Thank you for putting so much work into it.

Best Spuffy Fanfic I have ever read!!! I loved it!!!! So amazing!!!

Dear Knife Edge.

I have nothing but amazement at your considerable talent! I only discovered this site a few months ago and started by reading Most Read and then going through the alphabet of author names. I won't lie as there have been some really good ones. A couple that I didn't expect could be surpassed but you have!

I have never got into present tense or first person views of storys before but from the moment I started reading this plus with the added bonus of the Spike POV parts, I have read it avidly. A few chapters every night before bedtime. I normally need it to get a little hot and heavy quite quickly but you are actually a fantastic story teller so I didn't even think about if they would get intitmate at any point or not. How you made it seem like I could in my mind's eye be watching a very long episode of BtVs is testament to your skills. I did not need to flick backwards, re-read chapters as I have that kind of mind and a very recollective memory so I just forged ahead and remembered the clues. I used to always watch "Who Dunnits" with my best mate or thriller films and she and I would work out the endings at least half way through the programme/film.

I worked out that it had to be Spike that was Mr Gordo but the bits leading up to it and then how it was revealed in the journal was a master stroke.

I am glad that you have written really recently with your new unfinished story which I haven't started yet. I don't know what view it's in but I'd love to read it when it's complete. Also as you are so good at making Spike seem to noble without a soul, I was wondering if you would do a story all from his POV. I loved it when he was funny in the show and you certainly made me laugh out loud a good few times reading. I don't understand anyone who virtually comes on and starts picking apart someones work which btw yours is the most grammatically correct and spelled story so far. The fact you have a Brit for a Beta probably helped greatly but if I didn't know better I'd have thought you were. The phrases, slang and swearing are how I talk daily (Apart from the C-Word as I call it!) 

Anyway, enough waffle from me for today. Just thanks again for creating this amazing, complex, intelligent, interesting and many layered (Like Spike) story. I cannot believe you wrote and completed it in such a short amount of months! I started writing a story which I've only done 7 chapters on in 1996 and then my social life took over and I never went back to it. It's not Spuffy fic, but it was a horror. Maybe one day I might continue. I'd have to go from handwriting to typing it out though!

If you have the time to reply to me briefly to let me know when it is done I would appreciate it. My email address is: bezziemate@gmail.com.

Thank you.
Brit Girl.

Wow. Rarely do I read a fic that grips me as completely as this did. I couldn't put it down and was utterly taken by your particular spin on this verse. I was hopping up and down in glee as I recognized the various story elements you used in creating yours. Thank you SO much for adding to the Buffyverse such a giant of a story. I will be eagerly waiting for anything else you write.

This was awesome!  I know I'm late to the party, but this was amazing.  I have been reading fanfic for a few years now and I'm surprised that I haven't read this one yet.  What a gem this story was.  I've been staying up late and reading this on my breaks at work!  You are an amazing author and I love how you wove canon to work with your story.  The narrative never felt rushed or agonizingly slow either.  I love, LOVE the way that you write and I'm definitely going to check out your other works.  Thank you so much for posting this.

Wow, I loved how the story was really based off of Cupid and Psyche's story. :) This story was wonderful! You are an amazing writer and i feel very lucky to have stumbled upon such an amazing fanfic! i didn't even mind I had to wait like 60-something chapters for Spuffy action. It made it all the more better, because it made it more believable! Thanks for sharing this with us!

OMG!!!! I loved your story. I really enjoyed getting to see the timeline from Buffy and Spikes perspective. I love the story of Eros and Psyche so I had the impression you were following that idea from the beginning but I had never seen it used in the spuffyverse and I really enjoyed your rendition of it. I also really liked the "don't look' here" spell, it defiinitely made the post it's humourous. Thank you again, I'm currently reading your story "Dust" and hope to see new chapters soon.  

I know this story is a bit old, but I've just found it. And I was immediately sucked in. I'm glad I found it when it was completed, so I didn't have to wait to see what happened.

The dream deminision was beautiful told and I wish it would have gone just a little bit further. Allowed her to see who he was without having to see his face or hear his voice. But she didn't know the time line, so her patientience was pretty heavy. 

I'd have loved to see some comedy of Spike putting those post its all over and just, I dunno, saying "You bloody wankers can't see the post its in front of your face!"

The eplilogue was really nice too. A Slayer and her Vampire may not get the happily, but they'll have the ever after. 

I know you said you weren't wanting to do a sequel, but you've created a great fic her. There are so many ways this can go (except giant bug, space ships and spuffy babies ).

I so enjoyed this story, that I hope you write on for you characters. Creating your own usniverse. I think you could do it well. Thank you for writing this. Thank you so much.

Oh my lord, started reading the story as a distraction from work....I just got drawn in. Totally amazing, there was wtf moments, squee moments and hilarious moments. Massive epic of a tail, felt like i've just read the iliad of the buffyverse...

that was awesome. this ties as my favorite fanfic with "lost in time". loved the snowy sceens. 

Loved it the first time I read it and loved it even more the second. Witty and engaging.xx

Dear KE:

I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this.  This story has occupied my every waking moment for days on end, and probably annoyed my husband even more than my usual reading addiction.  You (once again) have drawn complex characters, intricate plot and woven a spiritual, magical, lyrical tapestry that kept me coming back. 

At first, I felt that there was too much of the original series, and I still feel that way a little bit, however, for someone who had never seen Buffy, this would be fully readable because it is so very careful in its exposition.  I think too many stories rely on everyone knowing the canon and the fanon and they take short cuts.  There were no short cuts here.  Could it have been tighter?  Perhaps a little, but I suspect it would also have been a quite different reading experience, and I'm not willing to risk that for a slightly lower word count.  This is an epic.  It is almost certainly the longest single fan fiction story I've ever read, but it was also one of the most unforgettable.  I look forward to what you write next.  If you're not sure, you could make a career as a professional writer.  If you already are, I hope you are well paid because you deserve it.  I'd pay to read your work.  It's been a true pleasure.

Peace,

Blue
http://www.tthfanfic.org/authors.php?no=12717&list=profile

Man!! truly epic story. I love the way you gave attention to detail and then wrapped them all up nicely, of course it shows you did much research. XD I'm so happy I found this, thank you!!! Although i bawled my eyes out pretty much through the whole thing it really is inspiring. Love in all its context!!! gah!!! you made me feel mushy and soft inside...nooooooo... :)  loved that you twisted the story of psyche and cupid to fit this couple too! kuddos! *goes crazy serching for knifeedge updates* 8D

Brilliant story, obviously great research. tru to the characters whith wonderful development as the story unfolded. One of the best spuffy I have read.
Thanklyou

This was one of the best stories I've read in a long time. You do a superb job of showing the characters as they are, and how they would realistically progress from what they were to what they become. Many authors miss that. Thanks for the utterly amazing read :D

Well..jeez...that was LONG!  You are an amazing writer and I really enjoyed how intricate the plot was and how on all the characters were.  And the cherry on top was the idea of Lydia and Giles!  Could you write some sort of addendum that would tell their story within this story?  A big thanks for all your effort writing this and to your betas as well.

I just finished reading this entire story.  Well. novel, really. It blew me away. It's simply amazing.

I want to say so much and yet I can't. Speechless almost. What a beautiful story.

Thank you for this. Thank you for taking the time.

 

Just to say how much I enjoyed this story - a truly lovely read.

Thank you.

I sure am sorry this story ended.  Please write another one very soon.

At first I thought, another rehash of the show with a word or two changed to make it Spuffy.  But I read on and found one of the most imaginative,  funny. sweet and angst filled story I've read in a very long time.  
With a wonderfully thought out story line, you made the romance between Buffy and Spike seem possible.
And between you and me, I prefer your protagonist, over Glory any day.
Thanks for showing me something fresh for my favorite couple.
Please write more.

Everday for the last week ive read this story and I finished it tonight. It was the best fanfic ive ever read. Amazing amazing job!

Bravo. 

 I have to say, this is one of the most well planned, most amazingly in character stories I have ever read. I loved every part of it, and its simply...divine.

I looked to see if you had any more stories and I was shocked you didn't and also kind of disappointed. You have amazing talent, and if you ever published any books I would buy every one simply because your style is so interesting to read. I'm very impressed - and i'm known to be picky.

Definitely keep up writing - you are so talented, and quite frankly I'm a bit jealous. Haha.

 Loved this story.  Hope you are planning more for the Spuffyverse.  I'm sure you will have lots of readers

Aw, it's a real big bummer that it's over!
It was a fantastic story, written professionally and with great emotions. I enjoyed every single chapter and do hope you're going to write some more Spuffy fanfics. Thanks a lot and praise to you! :)

I enjoyed your story. The last two lines were perfect.

Loved the story, very enjoyable. Hope you write some more in the future.

perfect end to an amazing story! thanks so much for sharing your talent with us. this is definitely one of my favorites

This was the perfect ending to an AMAZING story. I can't believe that we have come to the end! This story had me at every twist and turn and left me begging for more. It was the highlight of my day to turn on the computer and see an update for it. I can't wait to go through and read it all again! I look forward to reading anything else that you may write. You have a wonderful talent! Thank you!!!!

I did not want this story to end! I loved reading it from the very beginning and every single bit of it was marvelous. Thank you so much for sharing it. I'm thrilled that you're working on another Buffy fic and can't wait til you start posting it.

It has been an absolute pleasure having this story AND you in my life since June.  Wonderful fic and so well done.  Thanks to your betas and your husband.

Best news?  That you are working on another story!!

Thank you

 I had looked more at the Loudi fairytale as the main inspiration for the storyline.  See it was Cupid and Psyche  and Loudi I guess as the Apocalypse Bad Guy.

  Didn't really latch on to the story until part 2-probably because I am more of a Spike reader than Buffy. 

  Different reading Buffy POV and maybe that was part of it too and the rehashing of Season 5 for a while.   You are a talented writer and that kept me reading.  

  Thank you.

It's terrible that this perfectly wonderful story is over!!!  I'll be looking for more from you, though!  With all those hinted at prophesies and promises of a returning Whistler, I was sure you were setting us up for a sequel!
Great storyline, incredible charicterization, exciting fight scenes, well written dialogue...this story absolutely had it all.  
Thank you for writing it! 

i got all teary eyed.  damn ensemble masterpiece talking about family.

i can't believe it's all wrapping up!  i love the way it's ending, everyone ok, but not some false happily ever after.

"Breathe."
Can’t.
"C'mon, ............. "Breathe."

I think Spike was talking to me, too.

Gorgeous chapter.

Aghhhh!!! What' a place to end! It's so good though. I don't know what I am going to do once this story is finished. This is definitely one that I will read over and over.

AAGH! Do you feed off pain too?

 Wait, please dont tell me they both died?!? :bawl: Her from a fall to the ground, and him from sunlight?

no killing, I promise!
But having to wait till tomorrow might kill ME...

I've spent the last few days catching up on the past dozen or so chapters...what a place to end! Love this story, can't wait to see how everything wraps up

gah!!!!!!!!!!!!  
that was really brilliant!  i love how spike depends on his railroad spike again.  i love how spike, buffy and pooh bear are the three mystical fighting amigos.  i really like how much buffy has been learning and growing from her experiences.  and i hate (but love, really) the cliffhanger.

This has been an amazing story! I've loved it. While I'm excited to see the ending coming up, I'm gonna miss it. This will be one I'll read over & over.

 BAHHHH!!! I think I may have breathed twice during that whole chapter. It was amazing, but I think I am ready for the next one now. :-P

Ah, love the chapter. General Buffy and her army in motion. Loved the banter between Xander and Spike (after Xander got over his temper tantrum/bullying) and the way everyone just stepped up to the plate. I can feel the exciting climax coming on.

I  know stories end. Really, I do. I just can't wait for more chapters, but on the other hand more chapters mean this story is just one step closer to ending.

Gah! So many mixed emotions :-P

Love this so keep up the great work.

There's so much to love about this chapter! 
Buffy giving Xander a job besides being doughnut-boy.
Anya getting appreciated for what she can bring to the group.
Willow bringing the stuff for the ritual so Buffy and Spike can do it privately.
Xander's sleeping bag revelation. 
Daily updates!!!  YAY!!!

"You! And Spike! You had sex!" he exclaims. Then his face drains of color. “You had sex in my sleeping bag!”

YES YES YES YES YES OH GOD I LOVE IT

My god, woman! You write smut like noone else I have read. I normally dont like that kind of scenes, but yours makes me loopy. Seriously wish I were in Buffy's body:lol:

And here it was - waiting for me! Yay!  Nice interlude before the explanations start. And go Whistler for stated what had to be said. It's probably a bit more believable coming from him in such a matter-of-fact way than it would have been from Buffy.

Awesome, awesome fic. I don't think I've mentioned that lately.

this fic has been amazing all the way.  i trust you!  glad buffy was 100% behind spike when they got home.  i'm interested to see how they tie things up with louhi.

Being as how I'm reading it at the BSV, you hardly need to worry about objections to claiming - even if you were going to do it.

Nicely done chapter. Not too much "ewww Spike!" but no instant acceptance either. And the reactions to how he looked were good. Shame on everybody for not noticing Buffy's condition! And yay for Spike pointing it out.

Hee! And I'm reading this so late tonight that I may find another chapter waiting for me in the morning....

Well YAY Pooh!  And I know I've overused the word addictive, but ...  this story is so a d d i c t i v e.  Thanks for writing and looking forward to more

Pooh/Jaws! I love white German Shepherds. So glad to see him make it through the gateway. Interesting that he decided to throw in with Buffy and Spike, first as their transportation and then leaving the hell dimension with them. Does he have a backstory that we don't know yet? As for trusting - well, 67 chapters and you haven't disappointed us yet. That's good enough for me.

 Love the story.  Trust you to take it anywhere you want it to go.

Love, Love, Love it.

I agree that you write Xander pretty tame, for the most part he doesn't do much but talk. I've read stories where Xander is torturing Spike. I'm pretty sure I like your Xander better :-) 

I love that Pooh is back, I was really sad when I thought he wouldn't be able to go back with them.

Sometimes I think that I should wait a week then read the updates of this story, but as soon as that thought leaves I call myself crazy and proceed to wait for the next chapter.

Keep Up the great work.

Ignore any comments and keep going the way you are, I think its great.

 I really appreciate the pacing of this story; you keep things moving really well and that is hard to do in a long tale.  I love that you saved Pooh and look forward to finding out what he really is and how his commitment to Buffy and Spike will help.  This is a really wonderful story and I'm so glad that you made this commitment to the fanfic community.

YAY Pooh!!!
Ok, I feel really silly that I'm so happy the bear got out of Louhi's hell. 
"Normal, Iowa"?  Taking jabs at Riley now?  :)  Not that I object!

And I trust you to continue telling this story in the way you see it unfolding, no matter what you think your readers might prefer. 

Ahhh, cant you just let him drink her a little soon? He seems to be inches away from dust-by-starvation (or is it dust-by-stubbornness?;)) Buffy wouldnt want to carry home a dusty skeleton now, would she?? SHe ought to force him to eat! Right away!

But in any case: I need more!! Please update soon.

Poor Pooh.  I hope he gets away and can live a nice polar bear life...

Thank you for another wonderful chapter -- I'll miss Pooh though!

Awwww - poor Pooh!  Nicely done danger - just enough not to make the escape too easy, but not so much that they don't make it.  Maybe Pooh can eat Goblins? *is worried about the bear* lol

Ah, a long, satisfying chapter.  Shame about Pooh, would've been fun if they could have turned him loose around Sunnydale. Heh.

This chapter has so many funny lines sprinkled through the serious conversation, I just LOVE it.  I'm not looking for a rollicking comedy here, but the interaction is just so real and wonderful.
Xander and his suit of armor covered in crosses, Spike getting annoyed that she's turned his words back on him, hte continuing Pooh vs. Jaws, supermodels chewing on a chocolate covered arm...   (Then again, some of them kind of do look like zomibes, so Spike might have a point there.)

Okay, 8 hours of reading has me like cross eyed... This story is so addicting though. And so glad I got some Spuffy goodness. Will finish this tomorrow....

 "Vampires shouldn't sparkle.  It's wrong." The last time I saw so much win in 5 little words it involved being out for a walk.  

"Vampires shouldn't sparkle. It's wrong," is completely delicious, but this:  There were human guys before, I remember that, vaguely. Is priceless. What a perfect way of conveying how far Buffy is from her old life and previous self at that moment.

SO, now we've gotten to the sex part.  I have to tell you, I didn't see the 63 chapters that came before this to be a chore to read AT ALL - I found them to be a fascinating tale, masterfully told.  It wasn't just something to slog through until we got to this, although this chapter was as well written as the rest.  Don't apologise for any of it, or think that it's all just lead-up to the "Spuffy action" - I know that's not why I am so enthralled with this story - just waiting for that.  I love it because it's darned GOOD.

Okay, seriously hot. So yay for the end of UST (not that I don't love it, but yeah, they deserve this). But, you know what my favorite part was?
<i>And it’s scary. Loving Spike... it’s not like loving Angel, which was easy because I loved him blindly. Or Riley, who... if I’m being honest, I only loved shallowly. I love Spike with my eyes wide open, for everything he is, the best and worst of him. I love him because he’s strong and weak and complicated and there are so many layers to him that I feel like I could keep peeling them back forever and never get to the bottom of him. I love him because he’s been so deep in the dark and he clawed his way out into ... well, not the light, but to the edges of it. What I feel for Spike, it’s so much deeper, stronger, harder and brighter than what I’ve felt before.

I have to tell him, and I’m scared. Scared because he could hurt me, and I could hurt him, and because there’s no guarantees, prophecy or not, that we’ll live happily ever after. Spike... Spike is real.

And ultimately, that’s why I need to tell him. Because he’s come so far, and he loves so deeply and he deserves to hear it. To know that someone loves him back. </i>

Oh yeah, and "Vampires don't sparkle."  LOL

Great chapter!

FINALLY! *Applaudes wildly* She finally figured out that she is in love with Spike. Thank the powers.....nice chapter.

I don't usually write comments, but this story is amazing and made me com out of my non-posting shell. I read this , and wait for this like it's my drug.

Also, as I was reading this chapter all I could think was "this is sooo much better than True Blood," and I LOVE True Blood.

Keep up the excellent work.

It seems, somehow, to be past 3 AM.

For the second night in a row.

For the last hour and the last few chapters I have sort of been fearing a cliffhanger ending, but it turns out to be a rather satisfying point at which to be forced to stop.

It has been a long time since any story gripped me quite as strongly as this one. Moved me as much, made me feel as strongly.

I didn't even really like the initial concept all that much. I've read a good bit of fanfiction, but stories that re-hash episodes or worse, seasons of the canon show with some kind of twist are just uninteresting to me. It's already been on television with those wonderful actors depicting it, and season 5 in particular is my favourite of the lot and no written version is going to one-up it. Particularly as I like Dawn and never wanted her gone, and I initially regarded the mr. Gordo shenanigans with considerable suspicion. Sure, once the real plot got started properly I was hooked, but by that time I was a few dozen chapters in already.

So, two explanations. First person point of view and characterisation. The point of view is what allows even the re-hashing to add something to familiar material. Comparing the internal monologue you write to the interpretations I made while watching was what kept me reading in the first part of the story.
Buffy's voice is what hooked me. It feels so very true to the character, meshing exactly with how I interpret her to be. The story doesn't pick and choose which parts of canon to adapt, it doesn't seek to prove an agenda or twist events or characters in any way to suit the purposes of the plot. It does justice to the whole spectrum of the show and to Buffy in particular.

While the story is in very large part a romance between Buffy and Spike in the truest sense of the word I think it must be the slowest I've ever read, with the characters travelling the longest road to reach an understanding of one another, and I've read a fair number. It's also the first one where I have truly believed a non-season-6-depressed Buffy falling for a non-souled Spike while fully realising what she is doing and why. The first one where I felt it was earned. Where I no longer had any niggling doubts or moments of disbelief to put aside, and instead just allowed myself to feel it all.

I don't even agree that much with your version of vampire metaphysics. I don't like prophecies and destinies and hate the idea of Buffy and Spike "meant" for one another in some soul-matey way, I think part of their whole point is that they're not.

Both concepts work great in this story.

I love this story period.

I could ramble on for another half dozen paragraphs but I think I've made my main points. I'll take a brief moment to note how much I appreciate the story's structure with Spike's own by-journal first-person narrative broke the larger arc up. It's novel and it works exceptionally well. I'll also note how it hits just the right humorous notes throughout, not only making me laugh and breaking the tension even in the darker parts of the story, but doing it in such a way that I can just hear Buffy making those quips.

And finally... naturally... I hope you keep updating. A lot. This page is bookmarked.

Thank you for writing.

I've never been much for POV fics, but I have to tell you this is the best I've ever read! Love it!! Thanks for updating so quickly.

Becky

Love, love, love this story.

Is it bad that one of the first things I do in the morning is check to see if this story has an update? I have enjoyed every bit of this story so far and can't wait to read the this chapter!

Why am I still reading this at five in the morning? Oh yeah, because I'm obsessed.

In my head, all I can think is a quiet little "this is too easy, this is too easy, this is too easy." 

And then it hit me--he hasn't un-vamped yet.  Not once.  And in Buffy's dream, she saw three Spikes--the demon AND the man combined into the Spike she knew.

Here's my prediction: She's going to get him out . . . and she's going to have saved HALF of Spike.  His demon half.

Wow, what a great chapter! The escape managed to be mundane, suspenseful, and funny all at once. Spike's various reactions to the bear were hilarious, though I agree with him that a bear that size, and that strong, being so sentient really is terrifying. It seems to like Spike and Buffy, so I wonder if it was treated badly by its other riders or if it might turn on them if somebody it likes more shows up--like Jack Frost. On the other hand, I'm finding the bear so much fun that I'm getting invested in it, and in Buffy really 'freeing' it later--so, because the basis of this fic is Joss Whedon's world, it makes me worry that we learn to love the bear just so it will have more impact when it's brutally killed trying to defend Buffy or something. *tear*

Around the light-hearted parts of the chapter, Buffy's and Spike's serious words about each other manage to fit in seamlessly. I loved Buffy's impromptu speech to Spike, and her admittance that he might regret letting her read his entire journal later. (Did anybody else have a flashback to that movie "You've Got Mail" when Buffy said that she wanted her mysterious friend to be Spike?)

I really liked the almost-kiss, and how natural it was for Buffy and Spike to be wrapped around each other for hours while reading the bear. That Buffy didn't even notice Spike was still in gameface says a lot, though I'm starting to wonder if that implies more than a choice to be wearing fangs on Spike's part. Even if Louhi didn't do something to him, after so long being tortured in a hellish dimension, maybe he changed something within himself. At least he no longer thinks Buffy is a dream.

Wonderful chapter, can't wait to read more!

I cannot say enough positive things about this story! It is such an amazing read and every update makes me do a little happy dance.

I am loving this story!  I spent the past two days reading the entirety of what you have posted thus far and I can't wait for the next chapter. 

Great character voices and I adore the POV of this.  Thanks so much for this.

That was a fun chapter with a side of sweetness! I hope it's not going to be too dark in the following chapters - I want some corniness pretty please! ;)

I was rereading Chapter 61 and Chapter 62 magically appeared!  Hurrah!

I love their banter.  Love love love.

O.K, I guess going through that journey through Spike's past let Buffy have some insight into herself as well. I can't imagine the blind Slayer we know being willing to hold up a corpse so a vampire can drain it more easily, without a flinch, no matter how practical or necessary it might be. I'm also curious about the objects she received, and if she'll need all of them in a spcial way. Loved working in the railroad spike to free Spike here! And is the coat she's wearing Nikki's coat, without the marks of the two decades Spike wore its counterpart through?

How long does it take to grow an inch of hair? And what's Spike been through that he seems to believe Buffy is a hallucination? Is the Chinese Slayer's enchanted sword gonna work on Jack Frost? And what will happen when Spike finds out about Buffy's trip through his past, especially what Nikki showed her, with three people he killed and Drusilla guiding her?

I was wondering if the bear was going to be help or hindrance on the way out.  I am glad it's help.

The only thought in my mind right now (besides total glee) is . . . are they going to bring a polar bear back into Sunnyhell?

"Spike is not a crouton."  Just too funny.
hmmm - I wonder if time runs differently here.
I can't wait till tomorrow!! 

:thud: this is totally awesome. I have never come across a fic that described Spike as great as you do. Nearly didnt think they existed. It hurts me that here is not that many chapters left:(

And dont worry about the cookie analogy. It didnt fail. I think it was perfect! Although it didnt make me think of Willow as much as Buffy's speech to Angel in Chosen. Really, isnt that what putting Buffy through these last few chapters have been all about? The cookie is in the oven, getting done baking. Then it is served to Spike on a plate, for him to eat.

One of the things I really like about this story is the not-so-hateful Buffy.  Makes this story novel (yep, that was a pun; so sorry!).

Wonderful...still an amazing read.  I literally get lost while reading this story.  Thank you for the daily updates.  I look forward to reading each new chapter  every morning....a great way to start each day!!  I sure wish you were in charge of writing the 'canon' for Spike and Spuffy rather than that idiot Joss W and the other abominable writers for the Season 8 comics....**shudders**.

This is the first thing I call up on my computer every morning.  Thanks for such a good read. I enjo the postscripts.

Is it bad / weird that I've been staying up nights to read the moment you update?  Because I have been.  I'm loving this stroll down memory lane--your research really shines through, but gracefully.  Brilliant.

the way you are taking canon and molding it to your story is amazing!  you're great with expanding the characters personality without going out of character.  this is the story i most look forward to.  i can't wait for more, and yet i'm sad it will end! 

 Another really excellent chapter.  I love the way you take us on her journey and show us how she thinks.  I'm surprised at her commitment to Spike and willingness to see his potential.  It's such a nice version of her personality.  thanks!

Oh man, I love Dru here.  The fact that she calls her "sunshine," the fact that for all we know, she's talking to ghost-Buffy even in the real world because she's a total loon--I love it!  Dude, I am totally addicted to this fic.

For what it's worth, I'm going to make a (probably way off base) prediction: Buffy is going to find Spike and Spike is going to assume she's another one of Louhi's tricks.  Consider: he's been in there for YEARS.  Poor guy.  I don't think he'd give up, but I don't think he'd hope too much either.  I can't wait for the moment when he realizes it's her and she's come to save him.

Wonderful Dru, and great way to let Buffy get some idea of where Spike came from and what things shaped him.

this chapter was great.  i love the way you interweave all of the canon into your fic.  it shows a great depth of thought and planning that makes for an excellent story.

This story is amazing. I particularly liked the part about Spike having black hair when he killed the Nazis, with their whole aryan thing, the bottle blonde with blue eyes would have been almost ideal, but in true Spike fashion, he's rocking dark hair. Ive been reading from the beginning, and even though it slowed the story down, I really enjoyed part II and reading it all from Spike's side - part of the journey, you know? Also, I'd always wondered about Spike's body count, nice work there :)

The research was well worth it! What a great chapter. It was just magic. Brilliant job with Nikki's character and voice. And now I'm thirsty for more! 

you researched like mad and we appreciate it because that was AMAZING.  just.  amazing.

LOVED LOVED LOVED this chapter. Took my breath away. I love Buffy riding the subway with Nikki and her seeing some of the things that Spike has done. It's wonderful that you don't try and sugar coat the story and that you take the time to show the characters for what they really are.

LOVED LOVED LOVED this chapter. Took my breath away. I love Buffy riding the subway with Nikki and her seeing some of the things that Spike has done. It's wonderful that you don't try and sugar coat the story and that you take the time to show the characters for what they really are.

Great story,keep it coming.

Squeak!

I have never stuck with a fanfic story as long as I have with this one. Guess I was wrong about Mr. Gordo being Spike "from the future" though, wasn't I? I got a little impatient with the Spike chapters (although I loved them) because I just wanted to know what would happen! i'm so excited to see what comes next I'm sitting on the edge of my seat. You are an AMAZING writer. Seriously! Your characterization is soooo perfect! Ahhh, not sure if you're even around on this site anymore... but still, amazing! I love this!!!!!

What a cliff hanger!!!! Oh my! I can not WAIT to see what is going to happen....

She draws her strength from human pain, and Spike is fighting that? I don't know if it's possible, but that makes me think Spike must have really let his demon loose in a big way, burying the humanity in him. Just what will Buffy find when she does reach him?

Lots of exposition in this chapter, but you managed to keep the immediate reactions of the characters, and their doubts and thoughts, clear as the story prepares to move forward. Looking forward to more!

lot's of exposition!  but not boring, and Whistler's dialogue is spot on. 

Every time I read a new chapter I am in awe of your writing. Aspiring writers should worship at your feet! I love how this isn't just a story were it's Evil Spike...then blam!.....Good Spike.....followed by Bufffy falling madly in love...then happily ever after. I love the way that you are building the relationship, building the story...and Thank You! for giving Buffy a little bit of a back bone! I was so glad to see her say hey I'm doing this with or without you. Congrats on this fantastic story. I practically live by my computer for your fabulous updates!

Glorious!! So glad she just told everyone what's what and now she's going after Spike. Can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

Nice Beowulf-y verse, there.
I liked the line "Something inside me, in that place where my Slayer strength comes from, growls at that thought."  I picture something coiled down inside her waking up, getting angry.  She is listening to herself now, which is really good.

This chapter exemplifies why I love this fic, and Buffy in general.  There's tumultuous emotion, anger, disagreements, Buffy's real resolve and strength coming in after all the sadness and brokenness, and A TWIST!  The plot thickens!  I'm psyched to see Whistler.  I love how I never know exactly where this fic is going or exactly what's going to happen next.

Also, I have to say the moment of realization, where they all suddenly see the post-its and stuff is MASTERFUL.  Seriously, that's some awesome writing.  Brilliant.

GAH!
OK, so I'm REALLY glad you posted this chapter so fast, 'cause all the people, including me, who are reading this might have spontaneously combusted if you'd left it for the day at the end of the last one.  However, leaving it here is almost as bad.
I LOVED the postits all over!!!!  So funny and sad.  I seem to remember, many chapters ago, about the postits in the books and Giles being mad about it.  I dismissed it as a throwaway line - we were all under a spell, weren't we - yours!  :)  And loving every minute of it.
Their dawning relevation was done amazingly well.
Looking forward to more! 

 This is very exciting and I'm so glad to see that we are moving to the Avenger stage of the action!  Love that Anya has some of the answers and the introduction of Whistler is a nice plot twist.  Thanks!

ok, first of all?  great scoobyage going on in this chapter.  and when buffy got annoyed at lydia, i was right there with her.  and when you were describing spike's signs and post its.  it's so sad.  i feel so bad for him.  and then whistler walked in!!!  i'm so excited.  i always thought he should have come up again, somewhere, in the buffyverse.  it's great to have him show up.  thanks for posting this so quickly!  it's a great start to part3.

Hee! Whistler!  Wonderful two chapters. I like that Buffy's eyes are opened, but she hasn't jumped from "Evil Spike, must not lust after him" to "Good Spike, I'm in love."  I think one of the more impressive things about this story is that you've given the relationship time to develop, and been realistic about what each of them may have felt at various stages.

omigosh, this is addictive. thanks for the read.  please post fast, it's a nice long weekend so I don't have to wait till after work.. 

So you wrote that there's a lot more to this story and it is going to be a bumpy ride.  Well, I fastened my seat belt.

Seriously, if I had discovered this story when it was completed, I think I would have sat in my chair reading it from beginning to end with out a break.  It is that good.  Thank you for a great read.

I do have to say that I keep being frustrated with Buffy but at least she was making headway in her thinking before Louhi took Spike.  I still want to smack Xander up one side and down the other.

Soooo cool!  This story is the most exciting thing I've read in months.   POST THE NEXT CHAPTER!   UPDATE!

A little help from the PTB (even if it is in the form of Whistler).  On to the next part of our adventure!

i've been silent on the reviews because i didn't have anything intelligent to say.  but just wanted to congratulate you on the end of part 2.  i really love this story, it makes my day every time it's updated.  i've enjoyed the spike pov, we know him a bit better now and his situation is fleshed out nicely.  really interested to see where it goes from here. 

Great end to part II.  Looking forward to the third part!

absolutely love this. Especially the walk down memory lane:lol: But I think you are not quite doing justice to Xander. His vampire hatred is not that absolute. In canon Intervention he feels sorry for Spike bc he got hurt, carries him home to his crypt after the fight at Glory's, and even wants to give him Buffybot back.:)

Yay!!! It was so great to hear everything that went on with Anya and Xander when Spike rescued them. Stupid Xander, he's so narrow minded, I'm glad that he got his leg broke!! Keep 'em coming! =-)

OH GOD THAT KISS  :D :D :D I am sqeeing so hard right now.

This is one of those chapters that's even better from Spike's perspective, imho.  Hearing Xander & Spike & Anya hash all of that stuff out is really interesting.

I also meant to say how much I loved Spike's musings on his mother and their history. Simply lovely.

Wow. Amazing job on this chapter. I cried in several places. Pitch perfect characterization and voice. And I think this really your tour de force chapter so far, the more so because you had to merge canon with Spike's thoughts and deeds that we saw so little of in this episode on the show. It was heartbreaking, intense and true. It could not be better. Again, brava.

Ooooh this was good. I loved hearing about Joyce from Spike's POV. I loved hearing him rip on Angel too. =-) Impatiently waiting for more.....

AUGH.  I know what comes next, and I am DYING to hear Spike's reaction.

Poor Buffy, reading all this.

I'm new to this story, but just spent all my free time the past week reading all 46 chapters. Wonderful! Your characterization of both Buffy and Spike is spot on, and I'm enjoying the Spike-sided bits more than I thought I would... especially after the cliff-hanger ending of the Buffy POV. Keep up the great work! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Reading your story is like watching it on tv. I wish I had half of your writing talent!! Just a wonderful job that you're doing and it's the highlight of my day to read the updates.

You are just so completely amazing as a writer.  What's on the screen so perfectly evokes your characters that its almost reality, unfolding there in front of me. 
I am in awe of your talent.

"Wasn't gonna chain her up and force her to admit she wanted me or anything. I'm not so far gone desperate as that, yet."

Aww, I missed that scene:lol: Remember I was disappointed at Buffy's POV, that you had cut it. But I guess being Mr. Gordo made him less desperate?:)

Well, damn! It's been a while since a story really got me hooked but you did it in the space of one chapter, and I have just spent the last 3 nights reading this to catch up with the updates...

This story is amazing. Sometimes POV stories can go so very wrong and start to sound like bad Judy Blume, but you have captured Buffy's and Spike's voices perfectly. I am desperate to see what Buffy has to say in Part III but at the same time, I am loving this glimpse in to what Spike was going through. I can't get enough of this story and look forward to your next update.

Was a bit sceptical to this at first from just reading the summary but it surely took a nice turn for the better. I thought it would be a rewrite of S5 without Dawn and Glory and not much else but this is a really good story even a great story that keeps with how the show was but still brings something completely new and fresh to it. Now I'm totally hooked on it and can't wait to see you finish it.

just read this entire story in the last few days. i love it, and your spike voice is perfect. looking forward to more.

OK, this is probably a bizarre thing to say, but hey, I've had a heck of a week...
My mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor on Monday.  The way you wrote Buffy's responses to it all in part 1 was so close to what I've felt since then, it's incredible.  Reading Spike's side of it made me go think about what you'd written for Buffy's, and it just struck me how real it all was.
Loved Spike's list and the "Dread Pirate Roberts" comment made me smile.  Thank you.

 great update - totally fits his character and adds so many layers to the story!

Wonderful! 
Bargain?  What bargain?!   Can't wait to find out! 
LOVED the poem!

 It's actually embarrassing how often I am now checking the website for updates of your story.  

I only thought I loved pt I, pt II has been fantastic and heartbreaking (especially since we know how things are currently looking for everyone's favorite bleached blonde).  I'm torn between never wanting Spike's narration to end and dying to know what pt III will hold.  

Long story short, this is fantastic.

I love that this is updated every day!

Another great chapter and I'm really loving seeing this from Spike's POV. And Spike is so spot on about Riley! 

I love that this is updated every day!

Another great chapter and I'm really loving seeing this from Spike's POV. And Spike is so spot on about Riley! 

Another  amazing chapter! I haven't read a lot of buffy lately but reading this fic, reminds me of how much i loved this fandom!!

Another  amazing chapter! I haven't read a lot of buffy lately but reading this fic, reminds me of how much i loved this fandom!!

Fricking awesome!:thud: Best Spike voice I have ever read. This is exactly how he thinks!

i was a little anxious as to how the journal would turn out, but i really like it.  reading the watcher's entry on spike was very cool, and i think he has a legit complaint about how they represent him. 

Ok I am loving this fic so much! Love reading Spike's journal, it so spot on. It's fun seeing their 'relationship' through Spike's eyes 

love seeing Spike's POV - you have his tone just right!

just read this in one sitting - OMG!!! soooo good! 

I LOVE this bit, and I'm super excited for Spike's POV on all this.  I actually went through and skimmed the whole thing all over again (and will probably re-read it all over again in depth) just to remind myself how their first interactions went in the pocket dimension.

from buffy's pov, it's so easy to forget what spike is.  exactly how different he is from a human.   because she thinks about him being a monster, but perhaps can't comprehend it?  so reading this chapter was a bit startling, but a really good reminder of why he's called spike. 

Aww, White Bear King Valemon, right? I love that fairy tale:lol:

I must admit, when I first started reading this fic, I was sceptical. Far too many stories are riddled with what I have chosen to call the Soulless Saint Syndrome. I guess you know what I am talking about. So when I heared about this plot, with an impossibly sweet, harmless and cuddly dream vampire, I feared it was just another one of those. And when I got as far as to the Christmas part, with all it's fluff, and best behaviour from awake-Spike as well, I almost gave it up, thinking that it was build along the lines of "use some canon qoutes to gain credibility, and then show how he is really a cuddly fluffy bunny with fangs, and everything would be perfect if she only realized that. (urgh). I am so glad I kept reading, and all the more excited to read the promised realistic and properly evil musings of Spike:yay:

You seem to really know these characters! The way Spike spoke about cigarettes in one of the chapter, in a way that made it clear that he was really describing his feelings for Buffy were really awesome! And the dream scene with the train:thud: I doubt Joss could have done it much better:lol:

Ok, carrying on now, and will probaby drop in some more comments when there is something more to say:D *squees in excitement, and loads the next page*

Completely in love with and enthralled by this story.

Love the allusion to the myth of Cupid and Psyche, too.

Imaginative and wonderful!

Imaginative and wonderful!

Oh no. Just when I felt the nearness between Spike and Buffy you take him away. Not nice! I'm curious what happens next although I think it'll be hard to read Part II guessing there will be no Spuffy time. But if it is good written I will keep reading :)

wow!  that was great!  i'm so upset right now.  your buffy is so true to canon buffy--trying to please others instead of following her heart.  even though following her heart is always the right thing.  where is spike?  what is happening?  what will buffy read in the journal?   this is a really creative and daring way to take the story.  i'm not comfortable with it, but since when is a good tale about comfort?  i think it's really interesting and i'm excited to see where you take things, to see spike's pov.  this story has been exceeding my expectations all along.  definitely one of the elite class of fanfic's.  good work!  don't let anybody give you flack--keep following that creative instinct!

For what it's worth, I want to point out that this fic has really made me realize why Buffy/Spike works.  At all.

Buffy is the Slayer.  Shit is going to be coming for her right left and center whether she lives on a hellmouth or not, and frankly, something serious would have to happen to make her think she shouldn't be fighting the good fight.

A normal human being could never be part of that life as her lover; hiding it is laughable (see season 4) and dating a human just sets her up for heartbreak and problems.  So it has to be someone who can defend themselves against supernatural threats.  But someone who is also at peace with their supernatural powers--that is to say, someone who is not conflicted and hateful and disconnected from the source of their powers, like Angel.  Angel hates the way he got his powers and is disconnected from his demon; he is only really powerful when he loses his soul.  Spike strikes that balance between power and benevolence.  It's strange, but he really is the perfect partner for her--he embraces the power he's received and its source, but fights on Buffy's side.

Auuuuuuugh  Buffy WHY couldn't you trust?

Auuugh!

This is KILLING me.  But that's where Buffy (and this fic) really dig into their pathos--where you know the mistake going in, but other people convince you it's not a mistake, and then you get too deep in other people's idea of the right thing to do, and suddenly you've lost someone you didn't even know that you'd miss.  God.  Tragic.

Is it weird that I'm most sad for Buffy's first night of dreams without him?  How sad that must be.

I hope you know that this is absolute wickedness. Arggggg....ok, so we have to go back to go forward, I got it. I've bought my ticket and ready to board. I'm so anxious, I actually a little nervous. You are really good. I mean  really, really good, (insert Robert Deniro's voice from Analyze This)   All the dreams with the clues.  I told you in my first post that I was addicted to this story and your only making it worse.

Please hurry, and make with the updates...LOL

nice change of pace to see buffy as the impateint one and spike as the one with the plan. ugh.

This is so addictive.  It's the first thing I do after work, check on updates.

You actually had my heart pounding in this one.   Great imagination.

 I found this via Slaymesoftly, and have read straight through thus far. Gripping stuff! And now Buffy's about to go all Cupid and Psyche on us, and I'm afraid once she sees him Spike'll disappear and we'll have to go running over the ends of the earth to find him. Ack! You've got me on the edge of my seat here.

wow!  great update!

why do Giles and Willow always have to "fix" things and muck them up instead?  loved the scene with Spike:  could almost see him moving, stalking Buffy, with his facial expressions constantly changing.  Your word images are so vivid and alive! 

gah!  i hate the scoobies sometimes.  they're being so...scoobyish.  grrr.  well characterized though!  enjoying your writing so much!

Such suspense

the only thing he's wearing is water. oh such a perfect image in my mind. i laughed so hard, no lie. you ar esuch a good writer. i ca already tell ima be super sad when this story is over.

Have been following this for AGES but have selfishly never reviewed.  I'm loving this ride.   The first person pov is difficult to maintain without becoming either annoyingly detailed or infuriatingly superficial but you're doing a brilliant job of keeping up the momentum.  

One thing - are the Scoobies really so prejudiced that none of them register what Spike has done in rescuing Xander?  I'm deeply disappointed in them and really looking forward to their epiphany.  Bring it on!    

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN YOU ARE KILLING ME HERE AUGH.

seriously though, this is my favorite fic of . . . uh . . . anything ever.  Buffy's voice is perfect, her conflict (internal and external) is perfect, your characterization is lovely, your writing is eloquent but doesn't get so fussy (like some) that it gets in the way of the story you're trying to tell.  I love everything about it, and you are raising the stakes here in a really expert way.  I am loving every minute.

OH my!
I so love this story.  (and I'm a terrible reader, 'cause I don't review often...sorry.)  Buffy's reaction to her mother's death was so poignant, so realistic.  I remember feeling that way - just keep going, don't think, don't stop, don't feel, because that might make it all real.  Sometimes I think I'm still doing that, and it's been 5 years.
Sexy Slayer dreams now?  Cool!  :)
 

Finally!!  Buffy gets a clue and a delicious whopper of a Slayer Dream.

I am loving this story and how you have set it up.  Wish Joss Whedon got a clue back then.

Looking forward to ALL the next chapters.  Can't wait!

and the temperature begins to rise...

great update! 

Great chapter!

I admit I was slowly losing interest over the last few chapters, because your dialogue was sticking so close to canon that I felt like I'd already watched and didn't need to read (this is how I am with every fic that borrows a lot of dialogue, though, so this is not a reflection on your story in particular). But chapter 30 started getting me interested again, and I found chapter 31 very engaging. I mean, that tap!

I think it's a little strange that Buffy didn't confront Mr. Gordo, especially if she's starting to feel like she might be being duped/there's some unknown purpose to her dreams, but it makes sense that she'd prefer to confront Spike, since Buffy has the advantage in RL and Mr. Gordo has the advantage in the dream.

Though that Slayer dream's bound to bother her. All that rambling mostly means I like the story and am interested to see where you're taking it.

The last part of this chapter made me smile. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out this ice demon prophecy. What does she (Ice Queen) want from Spike? Is Buffy finally accepting and returning Spike's love "The Gift"? Please hurry with the next update....inquiring minds want to know.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I could be more articulate but really that's what I'm feeling and I bet I'm not alone in that.

Hi! Just reached this point in (almost) one go, and I have to tell you, I love it. I love how accurate and realistic your buffy sounds, and your way of writing is spectacular. I'm usually not that into season 5 fics cause the can sometimes be a bit unrealistic (and fast) in the way that they get Spike and Buffy together, but here everything feels very natural and true to the characters.

 Okay :D just found your fic and I wanted to say: I love it! You are a great writer. the chapter The Body made me cry even more than the episode! I really like how great you have nailed Buffys Character and how Spike really is trying to be good! Mr. Gordo ... SOOO adorable! The whole idea is so great!

um, can I worship you?  The last two chapters were so well done.  Poignant, and real and just---I had tears in my eyes.  And yeah, so I know some of it is canon, but the details you added, and how you shifted things....we can see Buffy growing and changing from her experiences.  It feels organic and real the way you've written it.   I just really love this fic. 

good stuff. although it would have been cool if she could have hung with spike alittle. i'm sure your saving that for the next chap though. of which. you got till monday to make me happy cuase then ill be gone for three weeks. so i sure do hope the next ones are good. :)

I tried to tell myself that it's just a story about another story, but that didn't stop your word from pulling at my emotions. The last two chapters were painfully beautiful to read.

2 in one day; you're spoiling us.  thanks!
We all need a Mr. Gordo of our own.

Little bits of Buffy, done up like a row of tiny buttons.

You are killing me right here, dude.  Damn.

 So painfully beautiful.  You captured every emotion perfectly. Also, I may have to charge you for a replacement box of tissues, since I went through an entire box while reading this. 

Guh.  This chapter gutted me more than the actual episode.  Damn.  Every time I see this story update in my RSS feed, I can barely contain my squee!

 okay. i've read it and it's good.  *sniff* now  i need a hug....

(of COURSE it's gotta be Spike!)

 *preparing herself* - haven't read this update yet & was afraid you'd go here after reading last chapter.  however, I trust you and am looking forward (kind of!) to this timely update.... *sniff*

Dear KnifeEdge,

I've been really enjoying this story since you started posting it. The premise is intriguing - Buffy sleeps with a dream vampire that can't be seen or heard? Your writing skills are on par with your imagination. I appreciate that you really capture Buffy's voice - that is to say her personality (both instinctively intelligent and kinda clueless) and the way she speaks - as written in the series.

I love the way this dream relationship is slowly unfolding, and that you trust your readers enough not to cut corners in the plot or to be too explicit about character motivations.

This last chapter is really beautifully written. It brought me to relive the surreal and the unspeakably painful moments that surround a parent's death. It was true to life.

Please keep up the amazing work. I can't wait to see how waking life and dream life will collide when this apocalypse plays out. Thank you for the frequent updates - I hope we can see another tonight! :)

* you wont get it if you don't ask!

Thank You!

Awwww  : ' (
i loved this chapter, especially the 'mr gordo' parts - so sad
xx

 Well done, such a sad episode.  Really enjoying your story, checking often for updates.

I never understood why Joyce had to die in the show, why is it necessary in your opinion.

 I absolutely loved this chapter!  You did a wonderful job of integrating Buffy's experiences with April, and developing that compassionate part of Buffy's personality that is rarely shown.

Thanks!

Oh man.  Oh man.  That is . . . gah!  That snowball fight!  Gah!  The cuteness!  Ah!

I love a long, plotty story,  and this one is so much fun to read.  Your character voices are spot on, and I like the way you've used dialogue from the show to move your AU plot forward.  Can't wait to see what happens next!  Thanks!

You've got me waiting every day for the next chapter!  Great writer and story.

Beautiful scene with Joyce, and a great look into Buffy's view of her mom. I really liked that Buffy could hear Joyce's thoughts about Angel and Riley, so different from Xander's biased views or Willow's overly-supportive.
The scene in the Magic Box was great fun for everyone, and fit the gang's get-togethers so well. I loved the freeze as everyone immediately believed Buffy meant she'd been 'doing' Spike, and how she doesn't quite want to mention the gorgeous body she'd got a look at, even as she admits to Spike saving her life.

O'Buffy he's out there alright. Probably standing under a tree smoking. I found this amazing fic earlier this week, and let me tell you I'm addicted. I spent most of Thursday and Friday just reading. I can't even tell you how much I'm enjoyin this story. The subtle little canges in Buffy, how she goes from not really knowing how to be friends with Tara to welcoming her into the Scobby family. There are so many other things that captured my interet. Joyce's illness was extremely well written. I could go on and on, but i won't. I'll just say, I can't wait for the next update.
PS
The banner is stunning!

Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, you gotta update soon!! This is one amazing spuffy fic. It really was worth reading it. :D I know I should have reviewed all those previous chapters, but I couldn't pull myself out of the story  to do it. I'll check back often for updates!

Ahhhhhhh!  The realization!  The realization!  This chapter might just be my favorite so far.

I just plowed through the story today and had to tell you how much I'm enjoying it!  Really good work here, great characterizations (I'm sort of a stickler for those), and you've made the no-Dawn very plausible.  I'm eagerly looking forward to the next chapter!

ha. without dawn they don't find out that spike is totally in love with buffy and that in turn doesn't get him uninvited. which by the by, totaly almost made me cry the first time i saw it just cuase of the look on jm's face. it was so perfectly tragicly heart breaking. i think this was a way better way for things to end up. and hey, spike night be mr. gordo, but i still don't beleive it cuase you stated that mr. gordo was a righty. unless spike can see her as mr. gordo and doesn't want her to know. just cuase he would do something crafty like that. not evil, just crafty. ugh, i don't want to have to wait til tomarrow for a nother update....:(

i thought the shirt he bought was blue...cause it brought out his eyes...maybe he bought more then one.

i really enjoyed the interaction in this one.  i like how buffy has no idea what's going on with herself and spike, and herself and mr. gordo.  and that they're one and the same.  except she has to know.  but she is the queen of denial.  the master of duh.  it's so obvious, and so totally buffy that she just pushes it aside.  i also enjoyed the little bit of anya in this one.  good work!

i loooove that song. and duh of course he can dance. i think that even if he hadn't grown up learning (which he prolly did) he would have learned becuase he knows he's sexy and that's just something else he can be sexy at. even if he would have never done anything with it cuase of drusilla.

Aw, finally some "nice" moments between them. Loved the dance! More of that please! :)

But...if he broke the coffin lid when he tossed it against the wall, how did he sit on it later, when he's talking to Buffy about the 3 Spikes?

wow.  this is my favorite buffy fic right now.  everyone is so themselves, there's a great mix of canon and imagination.  i love it.

Fantastic story.  Great characterizations all around.  Everyone feels like themselves, and there's no character assassination or lionization going on.  Both are poison pills for me, and so many authors can't resist.  You write everyone honestly.  I love the pacing.  Plenty going on, but not rushed at all.  First rate work.  Keep it coming.

dude i was about to go to bed when i saw this up. so of course i had to read it. and it was awesome. as always. do you really have like 70 chapters? cuase that would be sweet.

It keeps getting better!  Can't wait.

 what a powerful scene between the buffster and mr. silent-but-sexy gordo.

You are one of the best characterization authors I've read. You've kept the characters SO in character. Wow. This story is amazing! PS, Mr. Gordo sooooo has to be Spike from the future or something. I just can feel it!

 a rose by any other name .....  love the updates!

 I love this story! I check every day to see if you have posted the next chapter yet :) It's so good and unpredictable. Without Dawn and Glory the episodes and whole plot changes. It's so amazing! Your writing is beyond amazing and I'm enjoying every bit of it! Mr. Gordo is awesome, but I have a feeling he isn't Spike. Oh and I love how you write Spike! Thanks for posting so frequently :)

love Spike in this story!  even love clueless Buffy, stumbling through her field of clues! 

I like the dreams. They have a sort-of Cupid and Psyche vibe.

There are tears in her eyes when she hugs me, and I feel like I've made a new best friend."

There are tears in mine, too. That is the sweetest thing ever, oh my god.

Oh my god.  This is so sweet and perfect and totally fits with the rest of canon, too!  Wow.  I love this fic.  I love the perspective, I love the writing, I love Mr Gordo, I love it to a thousand tiny bits and I can't wait for more.

lol i love the demon

Go Joyce! Now if Buffy would just get off that barge floating down the Egyptian river.... Anya's explanation of demon Christmas presents is priceless. Pity she and Spike didn't have a chance to compare their favorite Christmases.

This is a very fun story, keeps me edgy waiting for the next piece.

Love the story so far! I'll be reading more of it tomorrow. :)

Every time Buffy goes running after Riley, whether in canon or fic, I just want to slap her. Hard.

But I don't think any of us mind being spoiled by multiple updates. Really, don't feel you have to cut back on our account. <g>

I, for one, feel totally spoilt.  But that makes me happy!

i have been voraciously reading this story instead of doing my schoolwork.  i love it.  the attitudes are spot on, the dialogue is witty, you've taken dawn out seamlessy....  you are my new favorite.

In canon, Spike was in Buffy's basement stealing photos of her. That would be a reasonable thing to keep the same for what his character is feeling for her, so now I am very suspicious of what is in that journal you've mentioned before. :[ hmmmm....

The glimpse of Buffy reacting to her mom's visions of canon future was fun, and I really liked Buffy noticing Spike helping without really noticing and wigging out.

I know Buffy blamed herself for a lot of what was going on with Riley, so I'm glad you can stay in her perspective without making him the perfect boyfriend in her eyes. He is being a little self-centered and wanting things from Buffy when she's too stressed to cater to his neediness. It's nice that he's being supportive, but his concerns about himself and how Buffy should be treating their relationship are too much on his mind.

love, love, LOVE this story!  it just keeps getting better and better! I especially like the possibility that Spike is there for some other reason than stealing Buffy's stuff, that he's actually there kind of protectively (if I'm reading between the lines correctly...)... 

Ooh, great update! I love how you kept to the alley scene so closely, but really gave us a new look at what Buffy was feeling and what thoughts were going through her head. Your extension of the final scene with Buffy and Spike on the back porch was beautiful, keeping the tone perfectly but still realistic. Then, the segue into mentioning the engagement spell was really fun!

I'm so curious about how these dreams are working! I've got a new theory, now that Spike really doesn't seem to know the details of the dream: The dream vampire is Spike, but Spike isn't fully conscious of it in the way Buffy is. Maybe that has something to do with how he's really awake at night and asleep during the day, so he can't be dreaming at the same time as Buffy all the time. I really want the dream vamp to be Spike, so even though I'm lacking a lot of details, I'm hoping!

Great glimpse of Buffy maturing when she doesn't drown herself in denial, but allows herself to really question if it is Spike, and then ask him in a way that doesn't give away too much information.

Auuuuugh I love this!  I need MORE!  I love seeing all this from Buffy's perspective.

I am absolutely hooked.  Please keep 'em coming!

Ah, two chapters! Awesome.  I'm loving this story and driving myself crazy trying to figure out what's going on. :)

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Hah, you snuck two chapters in on me.  Now I'll know to watch more carefully. :)

NIce scene with Buffy "training" with her sneaky vampire buddy.

Also, has everyone but me seen Spike shirtless?
Loved this chapter, and that line was hilarious. I like how you're slowly building up the details and hints of Buffy's thoughts on problems with Riley, how she thinks of her mom and friends, and Spike. It's very natural, with no sudden epiphanies of Spike being absolutely perfect for her like in some fics.

great job.

When I watched this episode, I focused a lot on Riley and trying to understand his thoughts and where he was coming from, because I could tell he was heading toward a breaking point-- but I loved reading Buffy's more vulnerable and soft perspective when it's only her words that are angry, not the rest of her feeling. His saying that loving her is scary, and how that hits her like a shot through the heart was perfect here. And the focus isn't on only Riley and how he feels about Buffy and needign surgery and what he's been through, but that simple statement when Buffy wonders why loving her is so awful... It really resonates, and fits a lot of her relationship problems and feelings from the show.

Loved the confrontation with Spike and thought you did a fantastic job, with a lot of feelings and background and motives for both of them. It's cool that Buffy thinks that she has to kill Spike because he'd removed the chip, and not anything about always wanting to or righteous indignation. That she's gotten to know him in his human face and how dangerous and graceful he is as an opponent were great points.


I'm surprised by how much I like reading stuff so close to canon. Like Buffy's thought about Spike when she first bursts into his crypt: "righteous and indignant as if he hadn't been sitting there plotting evil things in his twisted, evil head". In my head, I just remembered that during the show, Spike had just been playing a silly guessing game with Harmony, and was totally bored by it. (is it bigger than a bread box?) there hasn't been a lot of Spike/Harmony and I'm wondering if that will change.

Sorry, leaned left when I should have leaned right - anyway, as I was saying, I'm really enjoying this story in all its complexity and originality. So glad you 're updating regularly. :)

love this incredibly inventive story!  looking forward to more!

Love the introspection which only a well written POV can give. 

I love the ratcheting up of emotions regarding Spike but Buffy is clueless. 

Enjoying your story

This looks like a really interesting story. It's unfortunate for me however, that you chose to do it in first person. I can't read stories in first person perspective, it just bugs me lol. But the plot of the story is a good one so far.

To be standing over your broken and bleedin' corpse, of course - yay! a visit from mean Spike.  Love it.

intresting :)

Interesting start with ominous overtones.  Hmm?

Oooo creepy dream.