Betas: DawnofMe and Tanit


Two hours after their encounter with Buffy, Spike had finally convinced Dawn to go to bed. She was pretty shaken up and had asked if he could stay with her until she fell asleep. He sat on a chair beside the bed and watched as she tossed and turned, until she finally drifted off to slumber.

She'd just seen her sister who had been brought back to life. After months of grieving for her, she couldn't even be with her. He could not help but feel that she had been given back something she had sorely missed, something she needed, only to have him take it away from her again. It wasn't his fault, he knew that. Dawn knew it, too. Nevertheless, he still felt guilty. She was his little bit and he'd failed her again. More importantly, he felt like he had failed Buffy again.

When Dawn had settled down, he quietly left the room, closing the door behind him, and headed downstairs. He went into the kitchen and peered out onto the back porch. Just as he suspected, Buffy was standing there, staring out into the darkness of the night with her arms folded over her chest. He'd felt her the moment she arrived and was glad she didn't disturb them.

He headed straight for her and she spun around when she heard the door open. He seized her by the arm and pulled her off the porch, down to the lawn. “I think you'd better push off,” he said, his voice lacking hostility.

Buffy yanked her arm from his hold and said, “May I remind you that this is my house?” She pointed at herself with her index finger.

She was right. But she wasn't exactly calling the Summers' house home sweet home lately. Just like any other villain, he figured she was shacking up at some dank place she could call her lair.

He raised his hands and then dropped them, so as to wave the proverbial white flag. “I'm tired of this bloody charade,” he said wearily. “Just tell me Willow's all right, and I'll leave you to do whatever the hell you want just as long as you don't hurt her.”

“She's fine,” she said simply.

“Great,” Spike said, almost indifferently. He started to leave but she stopped him.

“Look, I'm not doing anything wrong here,” she said and Spike chuckled to disagree. “Whatever you think I'm doing, you're badly mistaken.”

Spike shook his head. Aside from acting strange, apparently Buffy was delusional too. “You need help, Buffy, and I'm willing to give it to you. But if you don't want it, there's not much I can do, is there? Stopping you is all I can do now.”

“So this is your way of helping me? By turning my own family and friends against me?”

“I reckon you'd do that well enough on your own, slayer,” he muttered while he walked past her.

Buffy relented and put a hand up. “Wait,” she said and Spike looked over his shoulder. “Just wait.” She dropped her hand, sighed and walked toward him. “Can we just... talk?”

An eyebrow raised, Spike turned. It was a surprise, but it was surely a pleasant one. He studied her, raking his fingers through his hair and then sat on the steps. Buffy sat beside him when he motioned for her to take a seat.

Both of them lapsed into silence. Buffy was intently gazing at the lawn, seemingly counting every blade of grass. Her hands were on her knees, gripping them as she tried to find the courage to speak.

Spike was looking up at the night sky. “So... talk.” It was hard to act as if he didn't care about her, because he did; he cared more than his heart could take.

Buffy took a deep breath. “You don't know what it's like. You don't know...” She let out a shaky breath and gave Spike a sideways glance. “I felt so helpless when I was pulled out of heaven. At least when I was alive and when I decided to give my life up for the sake of the world, it was my choice. Then I was brought to heaven... and I was happy. Really happy, for the first time. I felt whole, complete. And when I was pulled back here...” She paused, her fists forming balls. Spike grabbed one of her hands and gave it a squeeze. “The first thing I had to do was gasp for air and claw my way out of my grave. I thought I was in hell.”

She looked up at him and gazed into his eyes, hers shining with unshed tears.

Spike grinned at her. “It doesn't have to be like this. You'll get through this, I know you will, love. You're the strongest person I know and the Buffy I know doesn't give up; not like this.”

Buffy's lower lips trembled. She could still see the unconditional love in his eyes and knew that deciding to come here was a great idea. Finally, after moments of staring deeply into each other's eyes, she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. The kiss lasted only for a few seconds but for Spike, it felt like time stopped. When Buffy pulled away, she looked at him with wide eyes.

For a moment, Spike saw Buffy. The Buffy they knew. The Buffy he loved.

Getting to her feet, Buffy barely got out, “I-I'm sorry,” before she quickly ran away.

Spike watched her go. She'd left again but he didn't care. He didn't care at all. She was coming back. He was certain now; she was going to come back. That was all that mattered.

Still running, Buffy glanced behind her to check if Spike had followed her. When she saw he was nowhere in sight, she stopped. A demon came out from behind the bushes and Buffy jumped in surprise. It was Tehg'do, one of the other demons from the Oug demon clan Buffy now controlled. He looked a lot like Roh'gna, only his skin was more green than yellow.

“Don't do that ever again.” She grabbed the piece of cloth he was holding out to her.

“Ya did it?” the demon asked anxiously.

Buffy spat and grimaced at the taste of the liquid she'd had on her lips and of Spike's lips. “Of course, I did,” she said while giving the demon a look. She wiped her mouth with the cloth and threw it back to Tehg'do. “Tomorrow, Dawn will be running right to me,” she said with an impish grin and then chuckled.