There was only desolation in the crisp silence of the night. Spike sat before the reality of what he'd done, his arms barely propping him up. The world around him blurred into salty tears but in his mind, everything was clear. He had killed his third slayer.

Without thinking about it, he lifted his hand up to his face and wiped the blood on the side of his mouth with his thumb. He looked at his unsteady hand and saw her blood. Tears streamed down his cheeks even more fiercely.

The rush of slayer blood through his whole body had weakened and he could no longer feel its power. It was funny how for all those years, he'd wanted nothing more than to have a taste of it, to feel its power running through his veins. Now it only seemed irrelevant, it was foolish and pointless.

To stop his chin from trembling, he bit his lip. When he tasted her blood, he grimaced, spat it out and wiped his lips with the back of his wrist. He gazed at her again. No matter what she'd become, she didn’t deserve this. He lowered his eyes to the ground.

Hauling himself up on his knees, he began to crawl toward her while he told himself it wasn't real. He'd never been able to kill this slayer any of the times he'd tried. She was stronger than those before her. She was smarter, braver. She was the one and he shouldn't – couldn't – have been able to kill her in just a matter of minutes. No, with this one, it took years.

“Buffy.” He could barely say her name as he reached for her pale arm. She felt cold to his touch and though he knew better, he still started to shake her. “Buffy. You have to get up, love.” His voice broke but he shook her harder. She remained unmoving. “Oh, God,” he whimpered and buried his face in his hands. “God, no. Please,” he said, sobbing as he bent over her body.

When he heard a loud shriek from inside his crypt, his head shot up, eyebrows drawn together, and remembered Dawn was still inside with the Oug demons. “Dawn,” he whispered and glanced back down at his beloved Buffy. Her eyes were wide but lifeless as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her. He laid her at the foot of a tree in the hope that no one would find her there. Wiping his tears, he mumbled, “I'm gonna be right back, Buffy. I'll be right back,” before standing up and heading for his crypt.

Two demons stood on guard by the door but Spike made no attempt to move stealthily. He didn't care if they saw him. He wanted them to and when they both did, he grabbed the one on the left and threw it before either one could attack. The demon landed on a tombstone with a growl as Spike used the other as a battering ram, shoving it against the door repeatedly until the door broke down. He thrust the unconscious demon to the ground and, stepping over its body, approached the hole.

Demons surrounded Dawn, her hands tied at her back. Roh'gna was playing with her, talking about how he was going to be stronger than any slayer. Dawn pulled away with her jaw clenched.

Willow stood behind them, waiting for the right time to jump in and help Dawn.

Spike moved quickly into the hole and descended the ladder. The noise he'd made when he jumped from the third to the last step made all twelve demons look at him.

“Spike!” He barely heard Dawn cry. Things were still a blur to him but he knew why he was there. He had to get Dawn and Willow to safety.

Spike yelled and, in the second of hesitation this engendered in the demons, he assailed the first few within arm’s reach. Soon however, all the other demons surrounded him and all too quickly those he'd stunned recovered. His vampire strength alone wasn't enough to help him take on twelve demons in his half-dazed state. He fell back while throwing punches that barely stung the demons encircling him until he was backed up against the wall. He stopped fighting back. The demons continued to assault him.

He deserved to die for what he’d done to Buffy. He knew Dawn would never forgive him and the rest of the Scoobies would want him dead. Hell, they'd do it. They'd kill him. And he'd rather die now than live with the guilt and the pain of knowing that he'd killed the love of his life. He'd rather die than see the look on Dawn's face, on all their faces.

With the demons distracted by Spike, Willow rushed towards Dawn and untied her. With a wave of her hand and a quietly muttered word, she threw a nearby chair at one of the demons, sending it to its knees. Just as quickly, she flung another of the demons gathered around Spike across the chamber where it collided with the wall. Dawn, in the meantime, had found a candlestick and was using it to clobber another demon. The commotion drew the attention of a few of the demons, who turned away from Spike and started advancing on the two girls. Dawn shrank back, holding onto her weapon as if she were holding onto dear life while Willow stood protectively in front of her.

“Spike!” Dawn and Willow cried. Their voices echoed in his head as he spiraled towards unconsciousness, the sight of the two girls calling for him blurred with black dots. He fought the pull when he realized Willow still needed help in saving Dawn; at least that would be one good thing he could do before he dusted. He swung his arm at the demons before him and he could feel his rage seething inside of him. He could feel the demon wanting to be released again, and gladly he let it come.

With a roar, he slammed his fist into the shoulder of the demon in front of him. The demon stumbled back into the others, giving Spike time to pick up a blade that was lying in the corner. He lashed out and stabbed the nearest demon. Turning to his right, his fist crunched into one more demon's face. It retaliated with a kick to his side. Spike screamed in pain.

The demons' attention diverted from Willow and Dawn and they started attacking Spike again. He fought them one at a time, punching, kneeing, kicking. He'd been hit a couple of times but he recovered quickly each time, his fury, guilt, and blood lust fueling his every move..

When the demons were either unconscious or dead, Spike turned to Dawn who was huddled in one corner and Willow who was standing in front of her. He saw blood on the side of Willow's forehead and instantly moved towards them as fast as his beaten body allowed. Willow's eyes went wide with fear. Before Spike reached them, he recoiled with a cry, grabbing his head with both hands.

He regained control of himself and, now in his human face, said, “Come on.” Willow and Dawn exchanged a look before following Spike out of his crypt.

Once they were a few yards from the crypt, Spike stopped running. Dawn and Willow stopped too and faced him. “Go on! Get out of here!” Spike said in a loud whisper.

Willow raised her eyebrows. “Where are you going?” she asked.

Dawn shook her head. “No. We can't leave you here. The demons will come after you,” she said.

Evading their questioning gazes, Spike ducked his head and said, “I have something to take care of.” He looked up at them. “Now go.”

Dawn studied him, hesitant about leaving him alone. “Be careful,” she said. She and Willow ran out of the cemetery, leaving Spike behind, without a clue about what he'd done.

As soon as they were out of sight, Spike headed to where he had left Buffy only to discover her body was no longer there.

“Bloody hell,” he whispered, completely perplexed.