As quietly and as quickly as she could, Buffy made her way back to her room, hoping that no one would see her leaving Spike's room at this late hour.

Not that she cared what anyone thought of her right now, or that she really thought it would matter to them after what they'd all seen her do to Lilah. She just didn't want her friends to know about them yet, not when she didn't know exactly what they were or what it all meant.

As she turned the corner, she ran into a solid wall of a man. “Oomph,” she said, stumbling backwards and letting out a small gasp.

“Angel.”

“Good, you're still awake. I was just on my way to find you,” Angel said eagerly. “I've made a few calls a-and,” he stuttered and the smile on his face fell when he smelled the familiar scent. He held his pensive gaze as she averted her eyes, clearly embarrassed, from his pain-ridden face. “Please tell me you didn’t just come from Spike’s room,” he said. His mind was still slightly reeling from the events earlier that evening, and now he had to deal with this.

“Y-you made a few calls and?” Buffy tried to change the topic back, forcing her voice to sound impatient. She didn't want to talk about Spike or what they’d just had. Not right now, and especially not with Angel.

“Right.” Angel shook his head, realizing the information he has was more important. “I, uh, talked to a few of my sources from the demon world and some of them knew the demon Lilah hired and what they were up to.”

“That's great,” she said, less interestedly than Angel expected her to be. She didn't really care why Lilah did what she did. All she cared about was that she got her revenge. “What did they say?”

“Wolfram and Hart had already paid the Rakshasa to help them eradicate the Slayer line for good even before Lilah captured you.”

Buffy perked up. “They can do that? Stop Slayers from being called?”

“Apparently, they can. Or rather, a Slayer can. With the right black magics.”

“Wow.”

“I know. They were supposed to use Faith's blood, because she's in prison and wouldn't know about what was going on. But then they received information from one of their soothsayers that you were going to be resurrected, and they couldn't have you ruining their plan.” He paused. “That's why Lilah was there, right at the moment you got out of your grave, because they already knew what was going to happen.”

“And they had to keep me alive because they needed my flesh and blood to keep the charade up and for the plan to work,” Buffy said bitterly.

“Yeah.” Angel nodded. “That's about it.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I thought it would give you closure,” he said, and Buffy gave him a faint smile. “So, back to Spike...”

Buffy frowned, crossing her arms over her chest to cover herself over the flimsy fabric of her tank top. “Angel--”

“I just want to know,” he said, cutting through the silent hall and Buffy's explanation before she could even start it, “where he fits in the things you need to do.” He spoke uneasily, a trace of nervous apprehension in his voice. “For closure.”

A small smile lingered at the corner of Buffy's lips. “The vampire smelling thing? A bit disgusting,” she said as an attempt to change the topic.

Keeping his stare on her, Angel urged her to answer.

Buffy sighed and in all seriousness answered, “I honestly don't know.”

“Do you love him?”

“No,” she hurriedly said. She inhaled deeply and clasped her hands in front of her. “Not yet.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but he heard her clearly. “But I do trust him. He's earned that.”

Angel stood silently.

“I know none of you would approve if I do decide to...” she said quietly. Dropping her arms to her sides and lifting her chin up defiantly, she raised her voice. “But frankly? I really don't care. This is my life. My second chance. Whether I wanted it or not. And what I choose to do with it is my business, not anyone else's.”

“You're right. I understand,” he said, slipping his hands into the pockets of his pants. “You should get some rest.”

With a nod, Buffy spun on her heel walked away. With another weight lifted off her chest, she could sleep a bit better tonight.




Willow peeked through the bedroom window, watching as the glowing sun rose slowly into the gray morning sky. She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself.

It was another day that she would have to face Buffy. Another day that she would have to hide the guilt she felt for bringing her out of heaven and right to Lilah, guilt for still feeling proud of what her powers could accomplish.

There was a knock on the door, and she hurriedly wiped her tears away.

“Hey, I can't seem to find my...” Buffy let her voice trail off when she saw Willow's tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Willow said, a single sniffle betraying her words. “What were you looking for?”

“Will,” Buffy said, eyes narrowed at her friend as she walked farther into the room.

Shaking her head, Willow cleared her throat. “You feeling a bit better today?”

“Well, I got to beat up somebody yesterday,” Buffy said in jest. When she saw Willow's frown deepen, she turned serious. “Plus, Angel and I got to talk last night. We sorted things out a bit.” She moved forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

“That's good.”

“Okay. It's your turn to tell me what's up.”

Willow smiled sadly and sat beside her. Staring at her hands, she asked, “Were you happy in heaven?”

“Oh,” Buffy said, caught off guard. She had not expected such a confrontation this soon. But if they were to move forward, they should at least set things straight. Fixing her eyes on the carpet, she spoke up honestly, “I was.”

Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Willow asked, her voice breaking, “And I took that away from you?”

Buffy brought her eyes to Willow's glistening ones. Sighing, she took Willow's hand in hers and squeezed it gently. “Will, I'm okay.”

“I know you will be. You're one of the strongest people I know. But...” Willow's lips quivered. “Are we okay?”

“We’ll deal,” Buffy answered. Heaving herself up, she gave Willow a reassuring smile. “Now, let's go grab some breakfast.”




Buffy was glad that she and her friends had finally had a chance to talk that morning, though they avoided the topic of her resurrection and no one mentioned Lilah. Everything was approaching as normal as could be expected. She knew to some extent that things would never be the way they had been before she’d died. Nonetheless, she was glad that after talking with Xander, too, he and Willow could finally look at her without guilt written all over their faces.

Through the glass front doors of the Hyperion, she could see that the two vampires were already awake.

“This is my blood. Go buy your own.” Angel snatched the bottle of blood from Spike's hands and, slightly hugging it possessively, placed the bottle on the desk in front of Cordelia. “And stop taking or touching my things.”

“A tad bit sensitive, aren't you?” Leaning his elbows on the counter, Spike picked up an odd-looking paperweight. The ponce sure had an unusual taste in furniture and knick-knacks.

Clearly annoyed, Cordelia said, “Hang on for a second, please,” to the potential client on the phone and glared at the two. She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. “Guys, can you keep it down?”

“Sorry.” Angel turned back to Spike. “I just don't want you,” he took the orb they had procured from a previous job away from Spike, “touching my stuff.” He placed it back on top of the papers on the counter, and Spike grimaced.

Spike moved to the big round sofa, and as he slumped on it, said, “I don't suppose you're talking about--”

“Buffy, hey,” Angel said as Buffy entered through the front doors.

“Hey.” Buffy turned to Spike and gave him a smile.

Spike returned her smile with a flat one, and Buffy frowned. He stood up and was about to head upstairs.

“Spike.” Buffy made her way across the lobby. “Can we talk?”

Angel remained where he stood and crossed his arms, his eyes full of eager curiosity. When Buffy faced him and glared, he huffed. “Fine. I'll be in the office.” Slumping his shoulders, he said, “Where I can still hear you.”

With a deep breath, Buffy turned to Spike. She took him by the arm and led him upstairs to her room where they could have some privacy. Locking the door behind her, she turned to Spike. “About what happened last night...”

“It's all right, I get it. It was a bit of cold comfort.” He waved his hand in dismissal but the tone of his voice was fishing for her to say he was wrong. He sighed. “You don't have to explain.”

“Spike...”

“And you don't have to worry. I should be off tonight.”

Buffy's face fell. “What? But... You can't leave.”

“You and your friends have made up and you have enough demon fighters here,” he said, shrugging. “I don't see why I should stay.”

“You should stay because I want you to.” Buffy walked towards him and cupped his cheek with her hand. “I need you here, Spike. I need you with me.”

His face lit up. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“And last night?”

“I'm sorry,” she said, dropping her arm at her side. “What I did... I know it wasn't fair to you.” She sighed, and he looked away.

Afraid that she was going to stop things before they even started, he snorted, keeping his gaze on the floor. “I wanted it too, didn't I?”

“I know. I know... But I was wrong. I mean, I sort of just jumped on you,” she said with a faint, embarrassed laugh.

“That, you did.”

“B-but I'm not saying there's nothing there. Don't get me wrong, that's not what I'm saying at all.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I'm saying... there is.” He lifted his hopeful eyes to hers, and she smiled. “So... we'll take it one step at a time and see where it – whatever this is – goes. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah. It's more than...” He grinned. “Yeah.”

Buffy exhaled deeply in relief and, still smiling, took Spike's hand. “Come on,” she said. “Let's go bug Angel.”

Spike followed Buffy out the door with a huge smile on his face. “Just so you know, I wasn't actually planning on leaving,” he said.

Buffy chuckled. “Oh, I know.”

THE END