The wonderful banner is by Julie A.

Chapter 4


She was getting to him. He couldn’t let that happen. Had to shut himself off from her. He was Spike. He was the Big Bad, a little off his form right now because of that chip in his head, but wait till he managed to get it out. Which he would, sooner or later. Then look out. He’d killed two Slayers already. Could kill this one too right now. Didn’t even have to wait to get the chip out because the chip didn’t work on her. Maybe he should kill her. Maybe he would, if she got too close.

Not yet though. Not while he was getting great sex and Slayer blood. Why pass that up? He was safe from her. All he had to do was think of the other Buffy, the one who belonged in this dimension, the one he knew so well, with her cold, contemptuous eyes and her rigid intolerance. The one who saw him as a thing, not a person. That was the real Buffy Summers.

Yeah, that put a right kibosh on any tendency to weaken, the thought of that Buffy Summers.

This one wasn’t real. This one was the dream. That old, old, treacherous, hopeless, hurtful dream of being loved that he never could manage to eradicate in himself and which came springing up like a weed at the least suggestion of caring, to cut and scar his unbeating but very existent heart. His one real vulnerability, that dream was; the true danger.

Because, like a dream, this Slayer would vanish. In a week, a month, a year, however long it took the PTB to get their act together. And there he would be, slashed to ribbons again and flung out into the cold once more, the way Cicely had and Dru after her. Better not to come out of the cold in the first place. Better to keep that wall up against her. Better even to kill her if she came anywhere close to breaching it.

“You’ve gone off again,” she said from where she was lying half-sprawled across him as he lay on his back, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. “What are you thinking about?”

“Killing you.”

She slid herself even further across him and pushed herself up on her elbows on either side of him to laugh down at him. “And give up all the sex and blood?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking that. It would be tough.”

“Slayer blood’s tastier than pig’s, isn’t it?”

“Like champagne compared to raw hooch,” he agreed. “Lot more powerful too. Won’t need to feed for days.”

“And it really adds something to the sex,” she murmured and dropped her head to suck at his throat.

“Oh, yeah.”

He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the sensation—her mouth on his throat, her hair slipping soft across his skin, her body sliding across him, the way she was holding him close and warm and cherished. It might be a dream and an illusion, but it was sweet and why couldn’t he indulge in it for a little while as long as he kept remembering that it was just a dream?

Buffy did make her classes that day, leaving Spike to sleep. Willow and Tara came tentatively across to join her. She was regaining her old rapport with Willow, starting to put behind her all that had happened in the other dimension and hopefully never would happen here if she could fix things. It was nice to be able to indulge in girl talk again, without the bitterness that had come that last year and later when she had learned that Willow had conspired to keep Spike’s return a secret. And there had never been anything painful between Buffy and Tara.

Sitting out on the grass between classes, she explained to Willow as gently as she could why Willow had to be careful about using her magic and what things could and had gone wrong. Tara understood right away. Even though Willow was the more powerful witch, Tara was the one who was aware of the responsibilities of power that Willow refused to think about. Willow was thinking about it now, white-faced even though Buffy had tried to be as kind as possible.

“I did all those things?” she whispered.

“Yeah. But that’s in the other dimension, Will. You haven’t done them here, so don’t beat yourself up about it. I just wanted you to be aware of what can happen and what the consequences might be. Tara knows about consequences, but you don’t, not really.”

“I’ll listen to Tara. I will, Buffy!”

“You could ask Giles to find you a tutor who can teach you to use those powers responsibly. Tara loves you too much and might hesitate to stop you if you go off-track. A tutor would yank you back to the straight and narrow right away. I’ll help as long as I’m here. But who knows when the PTB will bring your Buffy back and send me home? That’s why I told you. You had to be made aware. You’re an awfully powerful witch, Will. I don’t know anyone else who could have done that Adjoining spell.”

“Yeah, but I messed it up,” Willow said under her breath. “I do need a tutor.”

“Giles should have got you one long ago. I don’t know why he didn’t.” Buffy sighed. “But Giles is another problem I’m working on. And then there’s Xander with his demon hang-up. He’s getting really irrational and bigoted about that. Maybe you can do something about that, Will. He listens to you. I don’t think he’ll listen to me. Right now, I think he’s seeing me more as an enemy than a friend, because I don’t think the way your Buffy does and I’m having a relationship with Spike, which he really hates.”

“I’ll try. I’ll do my best. I promise. God!” exclaimed Willow. “Things are getting so complicated!”

“They always were. You all just closed your eyes to it because you didn’t want to see.”

Willow groaned. “We’ve been wearing blinders over our eyes, haven’t we? Seeing only what we wanted to. It’s awful!”

Tara hugged her reassuringly. “It’ll all work out, sweetie, now that we know.”

“There’s no hurry,” said Buffy. “There’s plenty of time. It doesn’t all have to be fixed at once. Just being aware makes a difference.” She grinned at Willow. “Don’t get all obsessive-compulsive about it. I know you, Willow. You go all tunnel vision. Don’t. No need to stop having fun.”

“That’s true,” said Willow, brightening. “Tara and I are going to the Bronze tonight with Anya and Xan. Why don’t you and Spike come too, Buffy?”

“That would be fun.” Buffy thought Spike would like that.

Spike liked the idea a lot. His eyes went half-lidded with provocation and mockery, and there was a sheen on him, a glitter that spelled trouble, Buffy realized ruefully. The Scoobies had never permitted him to be part of their group at the Bronze and Buffy herself had never allowed him to dance with her, even in the other dimension. Rubbing it in to the Scoobies cracked him up.

Especially when Xander started a slow burn the moment he saw that Spike was joining them. That changed to fury on the realization that Spike was there as Buffy’s date. When Spike drew Buffy onto the dance floor for a slow dance, Xander’s face went bright red and Spike could barely contain his amusement and satisfaction.

“Don’t tease the animals,” muttered Buffy and Spike laughed.

“Aah, that wanker’s just a pussy.” His arms tightened, pressing her to him, and he ran his lips down the side of her neck and around to the hollow of her throat, his face nuzzling into her flesh. “Looka that. Never seen anybody turn quite that shade of purple before. Kiss me back, pet, and let’s see if he’ll blow a gasket.”

Buffy giggled involuntarily. “Kiss you how? Like this?”

She pushed his head back and ran her lips along the underside of his jaw from ear to ear. Spike purred.

“Forget about the tosser. Just keep doing that.” Then his head came down and his eyes lit with wicked laughter. “Oh, things just got even better!”

She turned her head and saw Riley glaring at them.

“Let’s up the ante,” purred Spike and kissed her deeply, bending her back over the bar of his arm.

Amused herself, she kissed him back happily. When he let her come back up for air a long time later, she saw that Riley’s face had turned even more purple than Xander’s. Then Graham turned up at Riley’s side, grabbed his arm and pulled him away, talking at him urgently.

“One of these days you’ll go too far,” she muttered. Spike just laughed.

“Never liked the sod. I’d have called open season on him long ago if this dimension’s Buffy hadn’t protected him.”

“He’s human. He can hurt you and you can’t fight back.”

He grinned at her. “But you’re Buffy from the other dimension. You’ll protect me.”

“Don’t count on it,” she growled.

“I don’t.” He spun her around, then dipped her over his arm, laughing. “Stop worrying and just have fun.”

Riley was nowhere in sight now. Graham must have made him leave the Bronze. Buffy relaxed. Spike was playing games and it was fun going along with him. He was really pushing it and kept pushing it the rest of the night. Whether sitting beside her at the table with the Scoobies or slow dancing to the music, he kept holding her intimately close, whispering teasing remarks and updates about how the Scoobies were reacting into her ear, his hands sliding over her in deliberately suggestive, provocative caresses. By the end of the evening, they were almost making love on the dance floor.

Seeing the stunned looks on Willow, Tara and Anya’s faces and the congested fury in Xander’s hit her funnybone. It shouldn’t have. These Scoobies didn’t really deserve it. But her anger at the other Scoobies was still smouldering somewhere inside her. Indulging Spike and his games, teasing them like this somehow eased it, underlined the fact that they couldn’t tell her what to do anymore.

“Stick-up-the-ass Summers,” murmured Spike and laughed deep in his throat.

“Thought I’d proved that this Buffy isn’t.” She bit his lower lip softly and felt his arms tighten around her.

“Come home and prove it some more.”

She rubbed herself against the hardness lengthening down his thigh. “Okay.”

His eyes were dancing. “Love the way this Buffy likes playing with fire.”

They had been doing that all evening, teasing the Scoobies, teasing each other. She had always been so cautious and inhibited before. This recklessness she had caught from him tonight was exhilarating.

“We’re going home now,” she said to the Scoobies when the two of them got back to the table.

“Uh, yeah,” said Willow with a sideways glance at Xander that said she thought it was more than time. “Maybe we all should. It’s getting late.”

“Oh! I meant to tell you, Buffy, but I-I forgot...” Tara’s blush and glance at Spike made it obvious what had distracted her and Buffy grinned. “Giles has got you that cell phone you wanted.”

“Oh, good. I’ll drop by before patrol tomorrow and pick it up.” Buffy realized that Spike had an absent look on his face, his eyes narrowed. “Something wrong, Spike?”

“Hmm? No. I just remembered I have to see a couple of demons tomorrow. How about we meet at Tranquility for patrol? I might be a little late. Have to pick up something from my crypt first.”

“Sure.”

He looked back over his shoulder as they left the Bronze. The look of amused satisfaction on his face deepened.

“What are they doing?” she asked.

“The Scoobs? Yelling at each other. God, that was fun, pet. Pulling their chains like that.”

“Yeah, figured you’d like it.”

“More than like it.” He swung her around against the brick wall beside the coffee shop and kissed her breathless, his full weight upon her.

She laughed and kissed him back. “Turned you on, did it?”

“Oh, yeah. Why’d you have to wear jeans, pet? Could have taken you right here if you were wearing a skirt. But I guess it’d be too much to ask you to drop trou in the middle of Main Street.”

She hit his shoulder with a clenched fist. “Damn right.”

“Might push things right over the edge.” He laughed down at her. “Would you have let me if you had been wearing a skirt?”

She might have. It was dark and his duster would have hidden them.

“Shameless,” she muttered. “It’s only ten minutes from the flat.”

“It’ll be less if we run.”

Slayer and vamp speed got them there in no time at all. They fell into bed, laughing and tearing at each other’s clothing. The rest of the night was pure delirium.

She was still smiling in a blissful haze when she went to pick up the cell phone from Giles before patrol the next day. Giles kept starting to say something, then sighing and falling silent again. She guessed that word of their antics at the Bronze last night had got back to him. Xander had probably given him an earful. She didn’t think the girls would have said anything; they might have been stunned, but they didn’t snitch.

Willow and Tara grabbed her just as she was leaving Giles’ place and yanked her into the little courtyard outside.

“We’re so glad we c-caught you, Buffy!” Tara exclaimed. “Have you got that cell phone now? Oh, good! We’ve been trying to find you all day! At least we won’t have to go through that again!”

Buffy blinked. “Go through what?”

“Not being able to reach you.”

“What’s going on?” She could see that they were both worried.

“Riley was at the Bronze last night,” said Willow.

“Yes, I saw him. He left early. Graham yanked him outta there.”

“No, they were both still there when you and Spike left. They went after you.”

“Yeah, but nothing happened, Will. We got home without any trouble.” Buffy grinned suddenly, thinking it was a good thing Spike hadn’t taken her up against that wall the way he had wanted. Riley would probably have exploded into itty bitty pieces all over Main Street.

“You don’t understand. They heard Spike say he was going to his crypt tonight. Alone. You wouldn’t be with him. I followed them, Buff, and they were talking about teaching him a lesson.”

“Oh, God!”

Spike would be alone and vulnerable. He couldn’t fight them with that chip in his head. They could do anything they wanted to him.

The sun had gone down. Maybe he was at his crypt right now. Maybe they had caught him already.

She ran, calling back over her shoulder, “Keep Giles and Xander out of this. I’ll take care of it.”

“Right!” she heard Willow call back, but she was already a block away and running at top Slayer speed, heading for Restfield as fast as she could.

It was the worst possible luck that Riley should have overheard Spike, that Spike should have needed to stop by his crypt, that he would be alone.

She raced through Restfield’s gates. She could see Spike’s crypt in the distance, saw the door open and Spike come out, yelled to warn him. But she was too far away for him to hear her and the men were already closing in on him. Not just Riley and Graham. Six or seven others as well. Cowards! she thought, snarling. He couldn’t even fight back and still they thought they needed a whole squad to take him!

The ring of men had surrounded him now. The electric energy of tasers blazed out, obscuring her vision. But she could still get to him in time, stop them from doing whatever they planned, even if the tasers had him down on the ground.

Then she jerked to a stop in surprise, almost falling. Spike wasn’t on the ground. He had jumped straight up and backwards before the taser bolts could hit him, and was now standing with his legs spread and his hands on his hips on top of his crypt. Massive forms were falling on Riley and his men, battering at them. Demons. Riley’s men were screaming.

“Everybody stop!” she yelled, racing forward.

The demons froze. “Slayer!” one of them hissed.

“Let those men go!”

“Hold them!” Spike called, then jumped down from his crypt and came towards her. “Wasn’t going to kill them, pet. Was just gonna teach them the kind of lesson they wanted to teach me.”

“You set them up!” she exclaimed. “You knew Riley and Graham were there last night. It was a trap!”

“Damn straight.” His eyes were cold and lethal. “A trap that wouldn’t have worked if they hadn’t taken it into their heads to attack me first.”

“You’re a Hostile!” one of the soldiers yelled, then gasped as the demon holding him twisted his arm behind his back. “They’re all Hostiles!”

Buffy looked around at the demons holding the soldiers prisoner. There were Brachen and Nouris and Hadraden, even a Strivald. But they were all demons who were normally non-harmful and avoided humans.

“Told you once that I could call open season on Captain Cardboard any time I liked,” said Spike harshly. “This time I did. All the demons here lost family in the Initiative labs.”

A Brachen female snarled something in a yowling, hating voice, her eyes blazing red. Then she deliberately dislocated the arm of the soldier she was holding. He shrieked. Spike snarled something back and she shrugged, then flung the soldier contemptuously away from her. He fell into a heap on the ground, sobbing in pain.

“She said her mate died in those cells,” Spike said in that soft, deadly voice. “I reminded her that this man wasn’t the one who killed him. But I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t care.”

“Please let them go,” said Buffy, looking around at the demons. “You have reason, but killing or hurting these men isn’t the answer.”

There was a long hesitation. Buffy held her breath. She didn’t want to have to fight these demons, understanding what drove them.

The Hadraden said, “We would not have killed, but we would have hurt, with pleasure. But it will be as you say, Slayer. Only let it be known to these offal and their like that should they attempt to harm any of us in the future, they will surely regret it.”

He released the man he was holding with a hard shove that sent him staggering forward to fall beside the soldier on the ground. The others hesitated, then did the same and started to fade back into the shadows.

“You’re letting them go?” Riley gasped, struggling to his feet. “After what they did to us?”

Buffy looked at the men sprawled on the ground. All of them were bruised and battered, and the man the Brachen female had damaged was not the only one with broken bones.

“You asked for it, Riley. You started it. I told you Spike was to be left alone.”

“We had orders,” one of the other men protested.

“What orders?”

“Hostile 17 was to be taken. The chip was to be...”

“Dr. Hazlitt!” Riley yelled suddenly. “Do it!”

Everybody whirled, then Spike suddenly screamed and arced backwards, his hands to his head.

“Spike!” Buffy leaped towards him.

“Hazlitt, run!” Riley shouted.

But whoever Hazlitt was, he didn’t get far. There was a yowling snarl from the direction of Spike’s crypt. Then a person in civilian clothes, not Initiative uniform, was flung out from behind it. The man struck the ground and rolled, a device falling from his hand. The Brachen female strode out after him and stepped on the gadget, crushing it. Spike’s scream broke off and he sank down on a tombstone, gasping.

“What is it? What does that thing do?” Buffy demanded, grabbing Spike.

Hazlitt didn’t answer, just tried to crawl away. The Brachen female grabbed him by the hair and jerked him up onto his knees.

“Speak, human,” she growled in her grating voice and Hazlitt stared in terror at her ferocious, green face with its blue spikes and burning red eyes.

“Amplifies,” he whispered.

“Amplifies what?” Buffy demanded. “The pain?”

“Yes. Orders were to get him back to the lab. Switch it to permanent.”

“Permanent?”

Spike laughed breathlessly. “Always on. That’s what he means. The chip would be constantly activated, not just when I try to hurt a human. The pain would be permanent. Until my brain burned out or I staked myself.”

“My God!” Buffy understood and was appalled.

“I recognize you now,” Spike said. “You’re one of Engelman’s team of surgeons. Get me back to the lab, you said. That gadget thing was only temporary. You were going to go in and modify the chip.”

“Experiment,” the man whimpered. “Next step. Orders.”

“Whose orders?” Buffy demanded. “Walsh is dead. So is Engelman. The experiment is over! So who would issue such an order?”

“But...He said...” His eyes moved to Riley.

“You!” Buffy glared at Riley with loathing. “You bastard! You cooked this up! You and Graham together!”

“He’s an HST!” Riley snarled.

“That’s not why you did it! It’s because I chose him, not you. Because I dumped you. You’re low, Riley. You’re vile! All these men. They’re hurt because you wanted revenge. Because I kicked you out on your ass!”

Riley realized that every man on his squad was staring at him. “Buffy, listen...”

“Get out of my sight, Riley. You disgust me. If I see you again, I might really do you harm! Take these men back to barracks and try to find a way to explain why they’re all so busted up. And don’t say it was because of Spike. Because if you do, I’ll make sure your superiors know that you used military personnel for a private vengeance and then a court martial is the least they’ll do to you!”

The demons had vanished, even the Brachen female. Only the Hadraden was left. Those soldiers of Riley’s team who didn’t have broken bones might have considered taking on Buffy, but one look at the rage in her face stifled the thought at birth. They had all heard of her now, that she was the one who had destroyed Adam. They weren’t going to go up against the Slayer, especially now that they knew they had been used. Riley flinched away from their accusing stares.

“Not Hazlitt,” said Spike softly to the Hadraden who nodded and moved to stand behind Hazlitt.

“No...please...” Hazlitt was sweating heavily. “I was just following orders!”

Riley turned to say something, then shut his mouth at the dangerous look on Buffy’s face and slunk away after his men.

“Good enough to modify the chip, are you?” said Spike when only Hazlitt was left. “Then maybe you’re good enough to take it out.”

Buffy looked around sharply. “Wait a minute!”

“Set me free, Slayer.”

“Spike...”

His eyes were blazing. “He’s a surgeon. Trained by Engelman. He can do it. It’s my one chance, Buffy!”

“But...”

“I’m sick of having to duck and hide shits like Finn,” he said violently. “Having my nose busted by this dimension’s Buffy Summers whenever she’s in a bad mood. Being shoved around by a sod with no balls like Harris. I need to be free! To be able to fight back, defend myself!”

He struck a tombstone with his fist and it split in two under the force of the blow. Looking at that though, seeing what he was capable of, only made her more uneasy

“Can’t you understand, Slayer? Even Adam did and he wasn’t even human. I remember what he said to me. ‘You feel smothered. Trapped like an animal. Unable to actualize the urges within. Like a flame struggling to burn within an enclosed glass.’ He knew. He understood. That’s the way I feel!”

She did understand. The chip had taken away everything he loved, made him unable to fight, unable to feed, unable even to be himself. He had always felt emasculated by it. But without that chip...

“Those urges are the problem,” she muttered under her breath.

“Think I’m going to go into a feeding frenzy without it? I won’t. You have my word. Why should I go after humans when I have Slayer blood on tap? And if you’re not there to supply it, I’d leave Sunnydale. I’ve already promised to do that if the other Buffy comes back, haven’t I?”

“Which only means that you’d kill someplace else. I can’t allow that, Spike! How can I?”

“All right then, I won’t kill. Feed, but not kill. I can do that. Catch and release. I swear it.”

Spike kept his promises. She knew that.

“Trust me, Slayer.” He was vibrating with intensity, his eyes burning. “Set me free.”

There was a long, throbbing silence. Then Buffy sighed.

“I trust you, Spike.”

He didn’t move for a moment, searching her eyes. Then he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

“Slayer,” he said on a long breath of relief, and there was something in his voice, something in his eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers and looked at her that was different.

Familiar, even though she didn’t know what it was.


TBC