A/N- I have done every author’s inherent job – I have fed my beta lots of cookies for her wonderful work on these last two chapters and getting them up to par. Not to mention the loads of gushing comments she left, which only endangers my already-busting-at-the-seams ego.
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Lovesbitch91
Chapter Ten: Do What You Have To Do
“What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage?
Created you a monster; broken by the rules of love
And fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do.”

“What do you mean, luv? What’s not right?”

“Everything.”

Spike stared at her, wide blue eyes full of confusion. Buffy was aware of all them looking at her: Faith, Giles, Dawn, Tara. She stared back at Spike with sad, mournful eyes.

“Care to explain?” His voice was soft, and she could hear the tinge of fear in it.

“Me. You. This whole mess.” She pulled away from him, strode a few steps in the opposite direction of the huddled group of her friends. She turned away from them, shoulders sagging. She fumbled with her words, nothing sounding right on her lips. “I haven’t been a good sister, or a good Slayer, or a good friend. I haven’t been doing anything right.” She felt Spike’s hand on her shoulder, let herself be pulled around to face him. She dropped her eyes, unwilling to face his.

“There is nothing wrong with you, Buffy.” That was Dawn’s voice, her little sister approaching softly.

All those memories rushing back to her had brought with them a sense of reproach, as she remembered who she used to be, what she used to do. The last few weeks flashing by her, of her languishing slowly, entrusting herself so completely into Spike’s care that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something so simple as to buy groceries for the empty cupboards at home. She figured Willow and Tara had taken care of that, that Dawn had been okay with them while she lay in Spike’s bed and forgot about the world.

She turned her eyes to Dawn. The young girl was looking up, eyes so wide and hopeful.

“I’m sorry, Dawnie,” she whispered, and her sister threw her arms around her, holding her close. “I know I haven’t been there lately, but I will. I promise.” The words were muffled in Dawn’s hair, but Dawn nodded and clenched Buffy tighter, showing that she heard and understood.

Buffy pulled away, turning to Spike. Her hands at once flew to his face, and worry crossed her features. “She attacked you.” In truth, Spike had completely forgotten about it, more engrossed with Buffy. He shrugged, cocking his head.

“I’m alright now, pet. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Yeah, you were really handling it well when I showed up and saved your ass.” Faith grinned, stepping forward. Her eyes slid from Spike to Buffy, her smile dampening as she sized up the blonde Slayer. “You miss me, B?”

Buffy regarded her quietly for a moment, then smiled.

“Of course, F. You didn’t try to kill my boyfriend.” Buffy turned quickly to Giles, her face hardened and angry. “I’m going to find her.”

******

“Uh, Willow? That only sounds like stupid idea number three-hundred and forty-seven.”

“Relax, Xander. He won’t even notice at first.” Willow was avidly flipping through a few volumes she kept at the house for independent research. The two had returned to the Summers’ residence after Willow had thought up her brilliant plan. “And then all we have to do is figure out a way to provoke him in front of Buffy. No way she won’t absolutely have to stake him.”

“And if she doesn’t , I will,” Xander said grimly. Willow shot him a sideways glance, smiling nervously.

“Actually, I was thinking you could be the bait.” Willow shrugged as Xander jumped, regarding her with wide eyes.

“What? We are so not letting the evil, blood-sucking fiend bite me,” he yelped, scooting backwards in his chair. Willow grinned.

“Oh, Xander. Buffy will be there. You really think she’s going to let him go that far?”

“I don’t know, Willow,” Xander confided with a quiet sigh. “You never know about the Buffster these days.”

******

“Stay. Away. From. My. Boyfriend.”

The blonde Slayer had been walking aimlessly through the park when Faith and Buffy had happened upon her. Faith had stood in the background as Buffy launched herself at the younger Slayer and knocked her to the ground.

Adia shot out a hand, gripping Buffy’s leg and yanking her to the ground next to her. In a moment she had righted herself and stood, feet planted on either side of Buffy’s body. She reached down, grabbed a fistful of Buffy’s shirt, and hauled her face up.

“You’re sick,” the younger slayer sneered, throwing a well-aimed punch at Buffy’s jaw. It took only a moment for Buffy to pull herself away, and she sent a high roundhouse kick, hitting Adia square in the chest and sending her to the ground. As Buffy approached, Adia was coughing hard, trying to wipe the blood trickling from her nose. “He’s a vampire. We slay them.”

“Yeah, we do. But not him.” Buffy kicked the girl in the gut, sending her body tumbling a dozen feet more to rest against the firm trunk of a tree. The fight had left bruises all over Adia’s face and torso, though Buffy remained unscratched. As the younger Slayer tried to prop herself up against the tree, Faith stepped forward, grasping Buffy lightly by the arm.

“Yo, B. It’s getting light. We should go ahead and drag her back before your boy toy gets stuck with the G-man all day.” Buffy nodded, regarding the bruised and beaten Slayer coldly. Buffy and Faith each reached out an arm to grasp the girl by each arm and haul her up. Faith checked and double-checked her grip on the girl, allowing no resistance.

“Don’t you know by now, girlie? You don’t mess with B’s vamps -- she’ll gut you.”

******

Willow hurriedly shucked the few supplies she needed into a knapsack, throwing a heavy book on top. She was antsy, aware that Buffy, Tara and Dawn might, at any point, show up unannounced. Tara had undoubtedly broken her light charm by now – it hadn’t been anything major in the first place. She’d mainly relied on the fact that no one would suspect anything was wrong to keep the memory spell in place, which obviously hadn’t panned out the way she’d expected. She ushered Xander out the door, locking it behind her, and they both piled into the front seat of his car.

“Are you sure Anya won’t be home tonight?” Willow asked, tugging on the seatbelt and fastening it as Xander pulled out of the driveway. He was nervous, a light sweat beading his forehead.

“We had a fight, so she’ll be staying at a friend’s.”

“Funny, I didn’t think she had any other friends.” Willow bit her tongue at the malice in her statement, looking out the window at the lightening sky.

“I don’t know. There’s a vengeance demon, Hallie? And the face…” Xander shuddered, turning out onto the main road. A heavy silence fell between them, and Willow rested her head against the cool window.

Fifteen minutes later they pulled up to Xander’s apartment complex. Turning the car off, he hesitated at getting out and looked over at Willow.

“Are you sure this is gonna work?” Willow smiled at him softly, placing a hand on his arm.

“Trust me, Xander. The moment Buffy realizes Spike doesn’t have a chip, he’ll be dust.”

******

Giles turned pale as he surveyed the three Slayers before him. Adia was unconscious – Faith had knocked her out halfway there, tired of her incessant cursing. Buffy was grave, hefting the girl into the living room and depositing her unceremoniously onto the couch. And Faith looked as if she could stand to hit something a few more times, as she lingered in the doorway.

“Okay, this is the last time I drag her back here,” she said, turning to face Giles, hands on her hips. “I want her gone.”

“Dear Lord, Buffy. What have you done?” Giles was rushing to her side, feeling Adia’s pulse and assessing the damage. Tara appeared from the back with a first aid kit and knelt next to Giles, helping to clean the wounds.

“Seriously, Giles. She’s a ticking time bomb. She’s already attacked Spike, who next? Me? Faith?” Spike wasn’t present, having most likely left to avoid being stranded at Giles’ for the day, and Faith still hung back near the door, her dark eyes flickering from Buffy to Giles. Giles heaved a sigh, removing his glasses and massaging his temples. A flicker of sorrow flashed through Buffy – he’d been through a lot lately. Her death and resurrection, a new Slayer, learning Buffy was involved with a vampire – and none of it for the first time.

“I suppose you’re right,” he muttered, standing up. “She will remain here until I can call the Council and schedule the next plane back.”

Buffy nodded, satisfied. She looked over her shoulder at Faith and smiled.

“Thanks, Faith. For saving Spike, and helping me find her.” Faith seemed mildly surprised at Buffy’s gratitude, but smiled and nodded.

“Yes, Faith, I quite forgot to ask you; what might your plans be now that you’ve returned?” Giles assessed the darker Slayer, and Faith uncrossed her arms, letting them swing loosely at her sides.

“Figured I’d hang around for a while, help Blondie out ‘till the next time we try and kill each other.” Giles and Buffy both grimaced, and Faith laughed. “Nah, I’m just playin’, yeah, B?”

“Please?” Buffy smiled and looked around the room. Tara had just finished bandaging Adia, and Dawn was sitting droopy-eyed in the armchair. “I suppose I’d better be getting home. You need a place to stay tonight Faith?”

Faith beamed at the suggestion, although she shrugged nonchalantly and nodded. “Yeah, I’m pretty beat.”

Buffy glanced over to Giles as she ushered Dawn out of the chair. “I’ll call you tomorrow? Or later today, really.”

Her Watcher nodded, kneeling next to his youngest charge.

******

Xander was huddled on the couch watching Willow perform the spell. The living room stank of charred herbs, and a hazy smoke filled the air. Willow was oblivious, her dark eyes staring at nothing as the Latin words fell from her lips.

And then she stopped, and the room seemed to spin from all the magic in the air. The last thing he remembered before passing out from the fumes was Willow standing over him grinning, her eyes black.

“It’s done.”

******

Spike fell to the ground as his head exploded. The pulsing pain of the chip held him there, as he gritted his teeth against it. He’d been in his armchair, sipping on a mug of O-neg and watching ‘Passions’ when the chip had fired. The pain had never been so intense, never lasted so long.

And then it faded, receding as quickly as it had been brought up, and everything went black.

******

When Willow opened the door, it was almost eight in the morning. And sitting on the steps, waiting to greet her with grim faces, were Buffy and Tara. She eyed them nervously, and they did the same to her. Tara’s eyes were red, her cheeks flushed and blotchy – she’d been crying. Buffy stood up, arms crossed and a stern look on her face.

“I want you to leave.”

Willow furrowed her brows, the corners of her mouth failing. “What? Leave? But Buffy, I was just trying to help…”

“Well, you didn’t. Actually, that’s not quite right. I don’t need help, least of all from you. Not if your ‘helping’ is just going to make me forget who I am.”

What the heck? She kinda knew Buffy would be mad, but now she wanted her to leave? She was only trying to help – didn’t they all know Buffy’s sick fascination with vampires was only going to hurt her?

“Okay, fine.” The words slipped out without Willow ever meaning for them to, and she watched open-mouthed as Buffy nodded and retreated up the stairs. Tara stood next, hiding her face behind her long hair and picking up a heavy box that had been hidden behind her on the stairs.

“Here’s some of your stuff,” she said quietly, holding it out and refusing to meet Willow’s eyes. “I can bring the rest by later…”

“Baby-”

“I don’t think we can be together, Will.”

“But Tara,” she started, but Tara was already turned around, taking the steps slowly, one at a time. “Tara!”

She didn’t stop, and Willow felt the hot tears rising. She let out a strangled sob, watching Tara turn at the head of the stairs, and clutched the heavy box to her chest. The minutes walked by painfully, slowly, and Willow finally turned to go. Taking a last glance at the vacated stairs, she left.

******

“Tonight, let’s do it tonight.”

Willow and Xander were huddled together once again on his couch, Willow’s box of things left and forgotten by the door. She’d rushed over immediately after leaving the house on Revello Drive, catching Xander on the way out. At the sight of her crest-fallen face, he’d retracted back into the house, closing the door behind them as she blurted out the entire story.

“Do what tonight?” Xander queried, feigning ignorance. Willow arched a slim eyebrow, a mischievous smile tugging on her lips. She wiggled her eyebrows conspiratorially, her smile broadening.

“You know.”

“Okay, see, here’s where I’m putting one foot out of the bandwagon and slowing us down to a stop. I mean, yeah, I hate Spike just as much as the next sane person, and yeah, I hate the fact that my best friend is sleeping with him, but how safe is it to set the evil, unchipped, unsouled vampire loose? What if Buffy doesn’t stake him? What if he gets away and starts killing people?”

Willow laid a reassuring hand on his arm, her smile still intact. “Don’t worry, Xander. I’ve got it all figured out.”

******

Buffy and Dawn stayed home during the day, waking up to a late breakfast of pancakes and curling up on the couch in their pajamas watching cartoons. Faith had left early in the morning, having barely slept more than a few hours on the couch. Tara was at classes, leaving the two Summers girls alone for the day.

“This is nice,” Dawn commented, settling down with a bowl of popcorn. The sky outside was darkening, and Buffy knew she should be out patrolling but stayed put on the couch a while longer.

“Yeah, it is.” Buffy smiled, her eyes sparkling with genuine affection for her sister. “It’s been too long.”

An easy silence fell between them, both pairs of eyes drawn to the blue glow of the television. It was quickly interrupted by the front door squeaking open as two pairs of feet trod into the house. Buffy turned quickly to see Faith and Tara enter and stood up to greet them.

“Feeling up for a bit of rough?” Faith asked, dark eyes glinting as she twirled a stake in her hand. Tara was moving silently upstairs, and Buffy spun around to face Dawn who rolled her eyes.

“Go, save the world from evil vampires. I’ll be fine.”

Buffy smiled, grabbing a jacket.

“I won’t be long, I promise.”

******

“Let’s stop by here,” Buffy held out an arm, pointing to Spike’s crypt a few yards away. Faith waited outside as Buffy slipped in quietly. Spike was sprawled on the armchair, a glass of amber-colored liquid in left his hand and the smell of alcohol hanging in the air.

“Spike? What is this?” Empty bottles littered the floor, and as she stepped forward she noticed that his right hand was clutching the side of his head. “What’s wrong?”

“Bloody chip…” he murmured turning to face her. Noticing his eyes were clear, his drunken bout long passed, she knelt next to him.

“Is it hurting? Is something wrong with it?” She softly fingered his temples as if feeling for the tiny bit of plastic and metal implanted in his brain.

“Not anymore. I’m fine now.” He heaved a sigh, fishing a cigarette from his pack and lighting it.

“Oh, well, Faith and I are out for patrol. Wanna come?”

Shrugging, he stood up and grabbed his duster. Without a word they filed out of the tomb.

******

“So are we just gonna wander aimlessly until we trip over them, or what?”

Willow rolled her eyes, tugging Xander in the direction of the nearest cemetery. When she glanced back at him, her pupils were large and black.
“I can find them.”

******

The three had just finished with a large group of fledgling vampires when Willow and Xander appeared beyond the next row of tombstones. Buffy froze, her eyes darting between her two best friends. They stopped a few feet away, and it put her in mind of an old western showdown, the way they kept their distance, eyeing the two Slayers and vampire.

“Hey Buff,” Willow called out nonchalantly, though she didn’t move forward. Buffy smiled weakly as her eyes flashed to Xander. But he wasn’t looking at her. Instead his eyes glittered malevolently, fastened on Spike.

Faith was the one to swagger forward, Buffy and Spike pulled forward as if by an invisible cord. They came to rest a few feet away, filled with unease.

“How’s it going, Faith?” Willow asked conversationally, a calm smile on her lips.

“Five by Five, Sabrina.” Faith obviously didn’t trust the redhead, but Willow ignored it, turning to Buffy.

“I thought we might find you around here. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for, y’know, everything.” Buffy was looking at her warily, arms crossed. “I mean, I was totally wrong, I know. And I won’t do that to you again. Ever.”

“Thanks.”

******

It was almost too simple, getting Buffy to visibly loosen in front of her. A few smiles and well-placed words and she was in, nearly forgiven. She glanced at Xander, who was biting his lip as he darted fleeting looks to Spike. The vampire was oblivious to them, staring at Buffy. Willow closed her eyes for just a moment, and let the magic flow through her.

******

“I don’t care what Willow says,” Xander started abruptly, his eyes turning to Buffy. “How can you let that thing touch you?” Buffy was visibly startled at his tone, but hardened towards him.

“Don’t, Xander. He’s none of your business.”

“No, he’s not. He’s just a body, a thing, and you let him touch you.”

“Xander…” Willow warned quietly. But he ignored her, turning vehemently towards Spike.

“Do you know that? You’re nothing; just an evil, disgusting thing.”

******

Bloody, fucking Xander – always butting in. I’d love to just rip his throat out…

The thought startled Spike. He hadn’t felt such a violent rush in a long time, and he shook it off nervously. He listened quietly to Xander’s words, Buffy’s quiet defense of him to her buddies.

I should hit him, just once. Put him in his place.

“Bloody hell, mate. Get a hold of yourself,” he told himself silently.

Why? He deserves it, trying to tear Buffy away with his words…

“Because it’s wrong.” Buffy’s own words reverberated in his head, and he shook them away with a grimace.

Not wrong. Natural.

******

A second before she heard the menacing growl, Buffy turned to look at Willow. The witch had been unnaturally silent for a while, as Xander ranted to Buffy about how sick she was, how wrong, how disgusting. But when Buffy glanced at Willow, she knew something wasn’t right.

The redhead’s eyes were black, for one. And her lips were twitching slightly, and her eyes were locked on Spike…

“Spike!” The vampire lunged towards Xander. Faith, who had been a millisecond faster than Buffy, grabbed Spike around the shoulders and hauled him off after only a couple punches. Xander lay on the ground, blood spurting from his nose, one hand clasped over a swelling eye. He gaped open-mouthed at Spike, pointing a finger at him.

“The chip! The chip didn’t go off!”

At his words, something froze inside of Buffy, and she turned slowly to glance at the vampire. Faith had thrown him to the ground as she helped Xander up, and he stared up in disbelief at Buffy.

Buffy couldn’t move; her muscles locked in place as she realized that Spike wasn’t writhing in pain. The chip wasn’t working; he had just hit her best friend, and the chip wasn’t working.

“Buffy…” her name emerged from his throat mangled and forced, as the two faced each other, oblivious to the others surrounding them.

And then Willow appeared in her peripheral vision, stake in hand, and planted it firmly in Spike’s chest.

******

Tara knelt in the middle of what had once been their room, clinging to a picture as silent tears coursed down her cheeks. The picture was of her and Willow, taken two years ago when they’d first started dating, sprawled beneath a tree hugging each other.

And happy, and together, and smiling.

And it was over, really, really over, and Tara just couldn’t reconcile herself to the fact that Willow wouldn’t be in her life like that anymore. She couldn’t be.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Tara hastily tossed the framed photo onto the bed, wiping at her eyes with the hem of her sleeve.

“Yes?”

Two plate-sized eyes peeked in, followed by a mass of silky brown hair.

“Hey, Dawnie.” The girl slipped into the room, rushing to kneel next to Tara and wrapping her arms around her.

“I heard you up here, and I didn’t want you to be alone.”

Tara was smiling through her tears, hugging the girl back.

“Thanks, Dawn.”
Dawn pulled back, biting her lip and looking up with questioning eyes at Tara.

“Do you think you’ll ever get back together?”

Tara felt a wild urge to laugh but held it back. Instead she smiled softly, blinking through her tears. She glanced over to where the photo lay face-up on the comforter and shrugged.

“Right now, I can’t trust her. Can’t know what crazy thing she’ll do next.”

******

Buffy stared in mute horror as the stake slipped into Spike’s chest. Time seemed to stand still as she met Spike’s eyes, which were large and frightened. And then everything sped up as Faith tackled Willow to the ground, hard.

And Spike wasn’t dust; she’d missed his heart.

“Oh, my God, Spike!” Buffy rushed to his side, gingerly extracting the stake and throwing herself into his arms. Faith knelt up by Willow, who’d been knocked unconscious, and looked over to Buffy.

“Oh, man, B,” she said with a grin. “Is it just me or have your friends gotten crazier?”

******

Faith volunteered to help Xander home and take Willow to Giles’ house while Buffy walked with Spike back to his crypt. They were silent the entire way, keeping their distance from each other. Wordlessly, Buffy followed Spike in, stopping after she’d passed the threshold. He immediately went to the fridge, pulling out a bag of blood and piercing it with one fang.

Buffy watched on silently as he drained the bag and tossed it to the side.

“So, this where you stake me, luv? Or would you rather Red come back and poke at me a few more times?”

“I’m not gonna stake you, Spike.” He met her eyes warily, not trusting her words, then snorted.

“Right, then. You gonna let me walk around unchipped? How do you know I’m not plannin’ on draining the whole town tonight?” His words were empty, she could tell. He was really scared that she would stake him tonight, as the final safeguard of their precarious relationship faltered and ceased to exist. He approached her slowly, incomprehension and apprehension flashing across his features. “Why aren’t you stakin’ me now, Slayer?”

“Because I love you.” The words had slipped out without a second thought, and she bit her tongue immediately. But it was too late; he’d heard her. In a flash, he was in front of her, their bodies nearly touching as he lifted a hand to her face.

“What’s that, love?”

The tears she’d been holding back until now threatened to overflow, and she lifted her own hands to his shoulder, fingers playing with the black cotton fabric. “But I don’t know if I can do this.”

******

“I’m taking you back to England with me.”

The words were said with such decision and finality that they left no room for rejection by Willow. She was curled on Giles’ couch, a dark blue afghan wrapped around herself and a cup of hot tea in her hands. Her face was pale and chalky, her green eyes still tinged with inky veins of black. Faith had carried her here, dumping one more unconscious girl onto the couch while Giles gaped in the open doorway. He’d been through so much stress the last few weeks, she almost thought he seemed to be going gray. On the way to Xander’s apartment, he had confessed to Faith about Willow’s “brilliant plan” to remove Spike’s chip. Faith filled Giles in on the situation upon their return, one eye cast warily to the witch. Willow sat on the couch, listening to them and crying. The accusations, and the truth behind them, only widened to gaping hole in Willow’s chest, filling it with grief and remorse.

“I messed up,” she said softly. “I messed up really bad.”

She did, and she was relieved to admit to it. She’d been a bad friend, gotten so caught up in being disgusted with Buffy that she’d been unable to be a friend. And if she were to be honest with herself, she’d blamed herself over Buffy’s predicament, tried to solve it all with magic.

“Yes, you did.” Giles’ glasses were dangling from his hand as he looked up at her. He was slumped, defeated, into a chair, elbows resting on his knees as one hand massaged his temples. But when she met his eyes, he smiled softly with that warm, paternal smile he saved for them, the core Scoobies. And she smiled back sadly, taking a sip of her tea.

******

Tara hung up the phone gently, a fresh wave of tears rising behind her eyeballs.

“I’m leaving tomorrow to go to England.”

She pulled the covers back up around her shoulders, feeling the cold sheet next to her where Willow was usually curled up at her side.

“He’s going to help me, teach me about magic.”

There was the picture she’d been crying over earlier, of them beneath the tree. That had been right after Willow had told her she loved her, when they’d gone for a picnic.

“I wanted to tell you, let you know. I’ll be thinking of you…”

Turning over, she grabbed the empty pillow next to her, pulled it to her face, inhaled deeply.

“And I’m going to miss you, a lot.”

It smelled like strawberries.

“I love you.”

Tara closed her eyes, pretending she could feel Willow sleeping next to her, traced the sloping line of her silhouette in her mind.

“I love you, too.”

******

“I don’t know if we can do this,” she repeated, keeping her gaze fixed on the black fabric between her fingertips. “I don’t know if I can trust you, without the chip.”

His face fell, and he reached up with both hands to cup her face. She hesitantly met his gaze, fingers falling lax on his shoulder. His eyes held her riveted, and she felt the tears silently coursing down her cheeks.

“Buffy,” he breathed her name like a prayer; softly, reverently. “Buffy I would never, never hurt you, never do anything to hurt you. Or don’t you know that?”

She jerked her head up and down almost imperceptibly, never breaking eye contact. Her breath was getting caught in her throat at the intensity of his gaze, the tears turning cold on her cheeks.
“It’s not me I’m worried about Spike; it’s everyone else.” She whispered the words, a tinge of regret at voicing her fears. He snorted, rolling his eyes softly before fixing her with a soft smile.

“Bugger them - I don’t need them. I need you, and if that means never killing, never biting another human, then I won’t. Not if doing that means losing you.”

Her heart caught in her chest, the breath expelling itself from her lungs in a gale. She smiled, one hand reaching up to clasp his where it cupped her face.

“Really, Spike? Never, ever again?”

“Bloody hell, woman. And have you coming after me with one of those soddin’ stakes? I think not. Rather have you.”

“Good. Cause I will kill you.” She smiled, but he knew she meant it. Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her to him, catching her mouth with his own. She threaded her arms all the way around his shoulders, letting him lift her legs to his waist as he carried her towards the nearby sarcophagus.

The mood quickly shifted, and she began to rub herself against him as he laid her down. He quickly followed, knuckles on either side of her head supporting him as he dipped his mouth down to hers. She arched up to meet it, fingers fumbling with the hem of his shirt.

“Buffy,” he said her name again, softly, his eyes raking over her body. She responded with a deeper kiss, hands tugging at his heavy belt and pushing down his jeans. She smiled up at him, pausing momentarily to cup his face.

“I love you, Spike,” she whispered, and he seemed to glow with happiness before his eyes clouded over with desire and he tugged at the hem of her jeans. In a moment they were both free of all clothing, and she sighed with contentment as he sunk inch-by-inch into her. As he began to move slowly inside of her, she locked her hands around his shoulders, holding him close and looking up into his eyes.

It didn’t take long for them to both shudder quietly into orgasm, eyes still locked and moving with slow, languid thrusts. Buffy’s ankles were crossed high around his back, one hand on the back of his neck, the other clutching his shoulder. As they slowly came down, she reached up to pet his face softly.

“We’re going to be okay, then?” she asked softly, and he smiled.

“Think we just might be, pet.”

******

“Hey, Buff.”

Buffy whirled around to see Xander standing in the middle of her backyard, hands deep in his pockets and a sheepish grin on his face. She set down the rake and crossed her arms, nervously walking over to where he stood.

“You’re not gonna go all freaky-outy on me again, are you?” she asked warily, and he shook his head. They stood in silence for a moment, and Buffy couldn’t help but notice that his eye was still swollen and purple.

“I just left the airport. Willow, Giles, and Adia left this morning.” The statement hung in the air, a quiet reminder of too many bad things, and Buffy merely inclined her head. Xander was rubbing his hands together, mouth opening and closing as he searched for the right words.

“I’m sorry. I mean, I’m more than sorry, but I can’t think of a better word,” he let out a short laugh. “But I just wanted you to know. Willow and I did and said a lot of stupid things these last few days. I guess these last few weeks, but you haven’t been around…” He didn’t mean it as an accusation, but Buffy still cringed.

“I know, and I’m working on it, on being around more.”

“Good, good.” He glanced up at her, and she gave him a small smile.

“I love Spike.”

The words slipped out, and Xander paled. However, he swallowed hard and nodded.

“The chip?”

“He’s not going to hurt anyone, Xander. He’s done it for almost two years; he can do it now.”

“How do you know he won’t - ”

“He won’t. Because if he does, he knows he’ll lose me.” Xander met her eyes, and his expression softened.

“Who wouldn’t do anything for you?”

It was as close as he would get to accepting Spike’s declaration, but it was enough. Buffy reached out to hug him, before leading him up the steps to the house.

******

The two Slayers patrolled together the next night.

Funny how, after trying to kill each other for so many years, they fell into such an easy camaraderie. Buffy suspected they had both changed for the better over the years. Faith was more reserved, although she certainly retained her zest for a good fight, and a yearning for a fun time after that. So after sweeping the cemeteries, they found themselves bumping and grinding together at the Bronze, more with each other than anyone else. Buffy found she enjoyed Faith’s company, and as the two left in the early morning, Faith nudged Buffy.

“Anything new with lover boy?” she asked as they wove through myriad alleyways heading towards Buffy’s house. It was shorter, and they sometimes bumped into vamps lurking and waiting for an easy meal.

Buffy grinned, casting her eyes to the side. “Not much.”

“Don’t see why you don’t take a vacation; go kick it in Florida or something for a week.”

Buffy brightened at the idea, turning to face Faith.

“That could be fun, getting away from the Hellmouth.” She poked a finger into Faith. “And you’re here.”

Faith laughed.

“What, I gotta play babysitter for your Hellmouth?”

“You saying you can’t handle an apocalypse?”

Faith scoffed as they emerged onto Buffy’s road.

“You are so on.”

******