Chapter 14

God, she was adorable. Spike never knew he could be turned on just from watching a girl stand on her hands, legs thrust in the air. Of course, that might have something to do with the fact she wore a tight little tank top, and tiny shorts that left little to the imagination. He licked his lips when she spread her legs out, then flipped backwards, once again on her feet, and finally seeming to take notice that she had an audience.

“How long have you been standing there?”

He grinned, moving over to her. “Long enough, I could have watched you for hours.”

Buffy blushed, tucking a sweaty strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t realize the sun was already down, must have lost track of time.”

“I could tell,” Spike replied, giving her a look. “You miss it, don’t you?”

She didn’t even need to ask what he was referring to. “Sometimes, I don’t miss the bitchy girls, but it was fun. Cheerleading was like an escape, it was something that was just mine, but after a while, it didn’t seem to mean much anymore. You know me, why be a popular cheerleader when you could be a social outcast? I’m so much better at that.”

Spike wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. “No matter what you do, you’ll always be my girl.”

Buffy felt her eyes tear up, but pushed them back. “That’s good to know. Okay, enough with this mushy stuff,” she claimed, stepping away from him. “Let’s spar now.”

Spike was happy to oblige, sparring possibly turning him on even more than the sight of her doing gymnastics.


* * * * *


“I think you need to include your sister more. I want Dawn to feel like she’s a part of this family.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “And why isn’t Faith getting this lecture? I do treat her like a member of this family, Mom. You two are the ones who keep babying her, and let her get away with everything. If you keep treating her like she’s different, she’ll never start to think she belongs.”

“She’s just a child,” Joyce stated. “This is a very delicate situation. You would feel the same way if it was you.”

Buffy laughed. “Hardly, I would jump for joy to find out I wasn’t really born into this family.”

“That’s enough, young lady. I won’t tolerate this attitude much longer. It seems dating William has made you behave even worse, I don’t think he’s a very good influence on you.”

“You just don’t get it, do you? This has nothing to do with Spike; you’re just using him as an excuse. If anything, he’s the only one keeping me sane right now. I’m so tired of having to look after Dawn, and make sure she’s doing her homework on time, it’s not my fault her grades are slipping. You’re her mother, not me, I have my own crap to deal with, and you don’t even seem to care. Faith is the Slayer, so she’s obviously important to the world, not to mention you. Dawn is the baby, the mystical key, she was put here for our protection, so we must drop everything to make sure no harm comes to her, even though the person who wanted her dead is no longer an issue anymore. I get it, they’re both special and important, but did you ever think about me? You have never once taken an interest in anything I do, Mom. You don’t ask me about school, you don’t ask me how my day is; the only time you ever want to talk is when it’s about Faith or Dawn. Did you know that I’m no longer on the cheerleading squad? That I’m now a social leper with no friends to speak of? No, you wouldn’t because you’ve never asked me about it. Is there any wonder why I hate it here? Faith and I may be getting along better now, but she still has her own life and I just don’t fit in it. Spike is the only one who has ever taken an interest in me. I love you, Mom, but I feel like I’m drowning here. I feel like nothing I do matters. You shut me out after Dad left, and yeah, I now know the truth about that, something else you didn’t think to include me in. It’s like you blame me for what happened to him, and that’s not fair. I didn’t even know about it.”

Joyce was stunned by her daughter’s speech, never realizing she felt that way. “You really think I blame you for what happened to your father? I was trying to protect you, Buffy. I thought the truth would only hurt you more.”

“That’s fine, but I’m not a little kid anymore. I just wish you could see that. I’m going to Spike’s, don’t wait up.” She left the house then, not giving her mother a chance to respond.


* * * * *


“Did you think I wouldn’t come back, little girl? You have something I want.”

Buffy struggled in her chains, but it was no use. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Rack chuckled. “Don’t bother to escape; you’ll only hurt yourself more. I would be glad to do that for you.”

Buffy screamed in agony as a sharp pain surged through her, and then she knew nothing but darkness.


* * * * *


She woke with a start, gasping for breath and feeling like her lungs were on fire.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You were only dreaming.”

Buffy rested against his shoulder, feeling content when his arms wrapped around her. “It felt so real. I’m sorry that I woke you.”

Spike shook his head. “I was up before you screamed. I could feel the pain you were in. It was like I was there, too. What happened?”

“Rack, he had me trapped. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get away. He’s not done with me, Spike.”

“It was just a dream, baby,” he told her soothingly. “I don’t think you have to worry about him.”

“I wish I could believe that. This isn’t the first time I’ve dreamt of him. I’ve been having nightmares for weeks; I just didn’t know how to tell you about it. I hate that I’m still letting him get to me like this. I was so horrible to my mother tonight. I know I’ve wanted to say all that stuff for a long time now, but I had no right to be that disrespectful to her. God, what’s wrong with me? I felt better when I was hooked on magic, that can’t be natural. My dad was a magic junky, he killed people, and he would have probably killed us if my mom didn’t have him sent away. What if I turn out to be just like him? What if it’s not over? What if I go off the deep end and there’s no bringing me back this time?” She was openly crying now, and didn’t care to hide it.

Spike took her in his arms, letting her cry against his chest as he tried to give her what little comfort he could, but at this point, he didn’t even know if it would help.