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Chapter 11
 
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Another three weeks had passed, but with no signs of Angel. The coven had yet to pinpoint his whereabouts. Wherever he was, and whoever he was, he did not want to be found. Buffy tried to go about her normal routine, but couldn’t help but look over her shoulder, checking for a potentially homicidal vampire. She worried the most about Camilla, which was why she stayed with Spike instead of going to daycare.
 
There were still so many unanswered questions. What had happened to the two vampires after the witches had unleashed a gaping black hole on them? Why had Spike come back only days later, whereas Angel had been gone for years? And why did Spike seem like the same souled vampire while there was a good chance that Angel was killing again? Maybe wherever he had been taken had caused him to lose the good inside and Spike was not affected because he hadn’t been there as long… or at all.
 
The two of them had talked about it, but Spike still couldn’t remember anything much about that night. He also had no recollection of being in another dimension. Willow had shown up in New York not three days after her phone call. She was determined to cast every protection spell she could on Buffy and Camilla and their home. She even cast one on Spike’s apartment. Willow was staying with Buffy, sleeping in Camilla’s room, while the child now slept with her mother.
 
They hadn’t told Camilla why Auntie Willow was staying with them, but the child still gave up her room without a fuss. Spike spent a lot of nights on Buffy’s couch, wanting to be there in case anything were to happen. He’d grown very protective of the girl and would give his unlife to save either of them.
 
This particular morning, Spike awoke on the couch to the sound of Beauty and the Beast blaring in his ear. Camilla, he soon realized, had the TV turned as loud as it would go, one of her favorite movies playing. But where was the little nibblet? She wasn’t within seeing distance and he couldn’t hear her, though with the volume so loud on the television, it was no wonder. Even vampiric hearing could only get you so far. Spike reached for the remote and turned the volume down to barely audible. He noticed the scene before him was the girl… Belle was it?... and the beast. They were dancing in a ballroom, looking happy to be together, despite the fact that he was a monster. Spike laughed to himself at the irony of the song.
 
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly
 
As lame as it might sound, Spike thought the song could apply to himself and the slayer. They hadn’t been friends when he’d realized he was in love with her. No, they’d been mortal enemies who had decided to tolerate each other after he’d discovered he could only hurt demons. And he sure as hell hadn’t seen it coming. Only a year before, not even, would he have laughed in the face of anyone who told him he’d become a love sick puppy for Buffy, and then offed them for good measure.
 
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast
 
In the past few weeks, things between them had been up and down. They still hadn’t talked about that kiss. He knew that was probably mostly his fault since he’d bolted right after. Not a typical move for him, but something that, at the time, he’d felt he had to do. The look on Buffy’s face when Camilla had caught them said it all. She regretted it, and probably only ever kissed him because she was lonely. How long had it been since what’s-his-name had run off? And Spike was determined not to ask her about it, not to indicate he wanted anything from her until she admitted to wanting more than friendship, which at this rate, seemed unlikely. Now that they had other things to worry about (i.e. evil ex-boyfriend vampires), they rarely did anything together anymore, except stand guard over her apartment.
 
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
 
It had been a doomed thought since the beginning, that they could possibly have a relationship. He knew he’d been kidding himself, and now that was easier to see. Most of the time. Then there’d be the occasional flirty phrase from her when they were alone that would put him on edge. And just yesterday, she’d walked in on him taking a shower. Yes, the curtain had been pulled, but she spent a little too much time in there “looking for her hairbrush.” And he could have sworn he heard her heart rate accelerate. He’d chalked it up to his imagination.
 
Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
 
Spike knew that he’d changed the most those few years of his un-life he’d spent in Sunnydale. Before that he’d been a ruthless vampire, more or less, only caring about himself and his loony love. Now he found himself caring about people he didn’t even know. Whether or not she had meant to, and if he was honest he knew she hadn’t, Buffy Summers had been the one to ignite this change in him. Despite the fact that he’d screwed up more times than he could count on all his digits, she still somewhat forgave him for all of it. She didn’t leave him to go insane in that basement, she didn’t leave him to rot as the First tortured him both mentally and physically, and… most importantly in his book… she had asked Angel to leave when he’d shown up to help them fight that final war. She’d claimed it was because she wanted the sod to prepare a second front, but that hadn’t been the only reason.
 
Certain as the sun
Rising in the East
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
 
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and… the Beast
 
The song came to an end and the little tea pot sent the broken cup to the cupboard to sleep.
 
“I’ll tell you about it when your older,” the teapot said.
 
“That’s what mommy always tells me.”
 
Spike’s head jerked to the side, surprised. He’d been so caught up in the movie he hadn’t noticed the little girl standing beside him.
 
“You scared me, Bit.”
 
“Sorry,” she replied, patting him on the shoulder and sitting down beside him.
 
“S’alright.”
 
“Why are you British?” Camilla asked after a moment.
 
“Beg your pardon?”
 
“What’s a par-dun?”
 
“It means the same as ‘what’.”
 
She seemed to contemplate this. Spike wasn’t sure she completely understood, but regardless, she moved back to her former question.
 
“Why are you British?” she asked again.
 
“Because I was born in England.”
 
“Where’s that?”
 
“Europe.”
 
“Where’s U-rope?”
 
“Across the ocean.”
 
“Ooh, I love the ocean,” she said excitedly. “Can we go there, Mr. Spike? To Eng-a-land?”
 
“Maybe someday. When you’re older,” he made sure to add the last part so she didn’t get any ideas that someday would be soon.
 
He half expected her to argue but instead she simply nodded.
 
“Older is gonna be so much fun,” she said, causing Spike to smile.
 
Yes, older could be fun. But it could also be hard and painful. If he stuck around long enough to see Camilla grow up, he was ready to break the neck of any boy who dared break her heart.
 
“Camilla, have you eaten yet?” Buffy called from the kitchen.
 
How long had she been in there?
 
“Yes, I ate some Fruity Loops, but Mr. Spike hasn’t eaten anything.” She gave Spike that smile that said ‘haha I told on you.’
 
She was right, however. Spike could feel his own hunger swelling, the kind of hunger that Fruit Loops would not satisfy. He usually waited until everyone was in bed to eat, but he’d run out of the short supply he’d brought with him to Buffy’s and hadn’t wanted to leave them in the middle of the night. He knew the slayer and witch could more than likely handle themselves were Angelus ever to actually show up, but he still wanted to be there, if for no other reason than to finally have a hand in taking his grandsire down. He no longer felt the overwhelming hatred towards the older vampire that he’d carried with him for a hundred plus years, but he still didn’t consider them mates. And if it was Angelus roaming the streets, then he would have to be stopped, one way or another.
 
“Right you are, Bit.” He stood up from the couch a stretched his muscles.
 
Sleeping on a couch wasn’t the most comfy of situations, but he’d slept on much worse. His gaze traveled to the kitchen and to the woman standing in it. She had her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and hadn’t yet put on any makeup. But Spike didn’t know if she’d ever looked more beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to walk into that kitchen, take her into his arms, and never let her go. He wondered if the day would ever come that he would actually be able to do that.
 
He made his way into the kitchen. He realized that Buffy was making home-made biscuits, or attempting to. She had flour running up her arms and all over the front of her t-shirt.
 
“Am I doing this right?”
 
Spike glanced down at the goopy mess in the bowl. He didn’t respond but the look on his face said it all.
 
“Crap. Why is it that I can take down a four hundred pound demon with no problem, but can’t for the life of me cook a descent meal?”
 
“That lasagna you cooked the other night wasn’t so bad,” he offered.
 
She gave him a skeptical look.
 
“Okay, it was. But we can’t all be chefs now can we, Slayer?”
 
Buffy sighed and rubbed her arm against her forehead, leaving a small trail of flour on it. “I guess not.”
 
And Spike couldn’t help himself. Before he even thought about it, his hand reached out to brush the flour away. Her eyes met his in the next instant and she parted her lips slightly. Whether or not she meant this as an invitation was unclear to him, but what he did know was that he was tired of being a little prancing poof, too afraid to make even the slightest of moves. He could hear her heart rate speed up as he took a step closer. Spike wasn’t sure where Red was or if Camilla was watching, but right now, he couldn’t seem to care.
 
He lowered his lips to hers without another thought. He’d briefly wondered if she would push him away, scolding him for the kiss, but if she didn’t want this, she wasn’t doing much to stop it. Her lips moved along with his, keeping the kiss slow but sensual, unlike their previous lip lock. Her hands remained at her sides whilst his trailed up and down her arms, no doubt leaving flour on his hands. He felt her shiver involuntarily. After a few heavenly moments, Spike pulled back to look at her.
 
Her face was flushed and her breathing was a bit irregular, but she didn’t look angry. In fact, she looked like she might resume the kiss. And she may have, except Willow chose that moment to open the front door. Buffy, who was facing the door, looked over Spike’s shoulder at her best friend, who was carrying a large paper bag.
 
“I’m back,” she announced. “And I brought breakfast.”
 
“I already ate,” Camilla announced, not looking away from the television.
 
“Well good because it’s not for you anyway,” the witch teased.
 
The little girl ignored her and focused on the song that was now playing on the screen. She must not have noticed the kiss, Spike decided, or she would have said something. Would it be a secret? As far as he knew, Camilla had told no one about the last kiss she’d walked in on. Had Buffy instructed her never to mention it, or had she simply forgotten? She was a brilliant young girl who hadn’t yet forgotten anything else he’d told her, which was sometimes quite unfortunate.
 
“Am I interrupting something?” Willow asked once she was in the kitchen area. She looked back and forth between the two of them.
 
She must have noticed the look on Buffy’s face because Spike was doing his best to keep his own face blank. Spike started to speak up to save Buffy the trouble of having to tell her friend a lie because she had indeed interrupted something. But he didn’t get the chance.
 
“Yes,” Buffy replied. “We were kissing.”
 
Spike looked over at her with a hint of shock and… well shock on his face. Had she really just said that? He resisted the urge to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Willow seemed surprised as well. Buffy, however, actually had her resolve face on.
 
She turned to Spike. “I told you once that I was tired of mixed signals between us. And now I’m telling you that again. The truth is that I have feelings for you and I’m tired of pretending that I don’t.” She took a deep breath as he took in her words.
 
And he had no idea what to say to that.
 
He had imagined this moment over and over, so many times, that now that it was finally here, he had no clue what to do. Tell her he was still in love with her? Kiss her again? The first, he thought, might be a little much; she had only confessed to having feelings, not that those feelings were love. And the second might be a bit off-putting since Red was standing right there.
 
So instead he gave her a small smile, trying his best to show her how much her words had meant to him. Willow, to Spike’s surprise, actually looked amused by the whole thing. Maybe she was just happy that Buffy was finally showing some interest in dating again, even if it was him. Spike reckoned he and Willow had gotten on well enough back in Sunnyhell, and now that the coven had all but cleared him of being evil, maybe she was actually happy for them.
 
Yes, there was still the whole thing about what had really happened to him during those few days he couldn’t recall, but he hoped she would be able to trust him. It was clear that Buffy did. Though in the past Buffy had been scolded on her lack of good judgment when it came to trusting him.
 
The sound of the phone ringing pulled all three people from their thoughts.
 
Buffy grabbed the phone from the counter. “Hello,” she said.
 
Spike listened so that he could hear the voice on the other line. Just in case in was Angel or someone from the coven. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Red, but withholding information was apparently something the witches liked to do.
 
“May I speak to a Ms. Buffy Summers?” the voice asked.
 
It was male, but it wasn’t Angel.
 
“This is she.”
 
“This is Dr. Jefferson calling from the California Medical Center. I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”
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