A/N- So, I suck. Over a year ago I planned to finish this story and finally get the whole thing posted. However, that did not happen. I made a vow to myself that I would not post another chapter until the entire story was complete b/c I know that every time a chapter is posted, you all probably have to go back and read the entire story again to even remember what happened.

I am happy to say that I have now FINALLY finished the entire story. I will post a new chapter every few days or so. Once again, I am so so sorry that it has taken me 5 years to finish this story. If anyone is still out there reading who has been reading since 2007, thank you for not giving up on me.

In the future, I will finish entire stories before posting them on here or any other website.

So now read on (maybe back...for the last time!) and hopefully you guys enjoy how it all ends.
 

---

The plane ride took just over five hours. To Buffy, it seemed more like days. The doctor hadn't given many details over the phone. All she knew was that her sister and her sister's fiancé had been involved in a car accident. The florescent lighting of the hospital added to the eerie feeling of sickness and death and Buffy was quickly reminded of why she hated hospitals. They found the room fairly easily, but were not at all comforted by the fact that it was in the ICU.

When they entered the room they found Eric sitting in a chair by the bed. He looked bruised and exhausted. His left arm was also in a sling, but other than a small cut on his cheek, he looked fine… physically. Dawn did not come out as well. She was lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to several machines, including one connected to an oxygen mask. A nurse was changing out an IV bag. Buffy blinked back tears.

Eric met her eyes. "I'm so sorry." He looked defeated.

Buffy tried to give him a sympathetic look. She'd been so worried on the flight here, not knowing much more than that neither of them was dead, that she was having a hard time forming any words of comfort now.

"What happened?" Spike asked for her.

"I... I don't know," was all he said.

The three adults in the room all suspected he was lying. "Eric please…" Buffy started, but Spike placed a hand on her arm. She knew she should stay calm and not berate her sister's fiancé, but Dawn was unconscious in a hospital bed and she needed to know what happened.

"What did the doctor say?" Willow asked.

Eric seemed more agreeable about that. "She's in a coma. She also had some internal injuries. They had to do an emergency surgery. He said everything went well and he's pretty sure they caught all of the bleeds. They did an MRI on her and it came back clean. He didn't seem to think she had any lasting brain damage, but if she doesn't wake up…" he choked back a sob.

Buffy approached the bed and reached a hand out to touch her sister's. "Did they say anything else?" she asked.

"Nothing is broken. The doctor said she'd experienced a pretty bad head trauma, but that the chances she would wake up were still good. He's supposed to come back around soon."

Buffy turned her attention to the nurse. "When is the doctor coming?"

The nurse, Linda the dry erase board said, was throwing something in a container marked Biohazard. She looked at her watch. "He should be here within the hour. He had an emergency appendectomy to perform."

Buffy nodded, despite the fact that she felt a little impatience at that. She wanted to know what was going on with her sister right at this very moment. This wasn't something she could fix by beating up a creature of the night. She needed medical professionals to do something, and she desperately wanted to scream this at the girl, but couldn't seem to find her voice suddenly. Perhaps it was due in part to the fact that Camilla was here and she didn't want to scare the little girl any more.

Her daughter had already asked her a million questions that she couldn't answer and she was scared that something bad had happened to her aunt. Buffy nodded a silent thanks to the nurse, who proceeded to leave the room. Eric looked strangely relieved that she was gone.

The slayer felt a presence beside her.

"Is Aunty Dawn gonna be okay?" Camilla asked, a worried expression on her innocent face.

"She's going to be fine," Buffy told her, hoping that she was right. The doctors didn't sound especially confident at this point, but they also hadn't told Eric to expect the worst, so that was something.

Willow took that opportunity to speak up. "Cam, why don't we go find the vending machines? We can get some snacks for everybody."

The little girl perked up at that. "Okay. Mommy, can I have a Snickers?"

"Yes, but just one," she said the last part more to Willow, who nodded in understanding. It was just about noon California time now, and they hadn't had much to eat on the plane, but Buffy still didn't want Camilla filling up on candy.

Camilla took Willow's hand and pulled her out the door, calling back to Spike that she would bring him wheetie-bits if they had some.

"What really happened, mate?" Spike asked Eric with an edge to his voice. "And don't tell me you don't know because you do."

Buffy also sent a challenging look at the younger man in the uncomfortable looking hospital chair. "Did you hit someone or run off the road?"

"It wasn't a car accident," Eric said, a touch of anger suddenly in his voice.

"What?" Buffy started to say before he continued.

Eric stood to his feet. "It was a man."

---

Spike was fuming. He wanted desperately to kill something. No, he wanted desperately to kill someone in particular.

After Eric had recapped the previous night's events, the vampire had found himself in kill mode. There was no doubt, after hearing his description of the assailant, that it was Angelus. Not to mention the fact that Dawn had recognized him and called him Angel before he'd attacked them. Eric had remembered the name because of the obvious irony. The guy knew Dawn, Eric had said, and had even brought up events from her past to confirm that he was who she thought he was.

And then the bastard had tried to kill them. Or, Spike thought more logically, he hadn't. If Angelus had really wanted Dawn and Eric dead, they would be dead. What he really wanted was to toy with them. He wanted Buffy to know that he was out there and that he could hurt her at any time if he so chose.

This was a message, broadcast loud and clear.

If anyone was more livid than Spike, it was Buffy. She hadn't really been able to truly believe that it was really Angel until now. Even though Dawn hadn't told her the story herself, she was somehow positive it was true. Angelus was back. And this time, Buffy was sure, she would be able to kill him without remorse. Probably.

She'd demanded Willow call the coven immediately and tell them to get their witchy asses on finding him. The witch had theorized Angelus must have some sort of protection or cloaking spell cast on himself. Otherwise, the coven would have located him by now. This meant that either he had perfected the art of black magic or he had a witch on his side. No one was sure which was worse.

After much prodding, Buffy had finally convinced Eric to go home and get some rest. He'd been at the hospital for nearly 24 hours straight. He said he would at least go home and shower and get a change of clothes but that he would be back by morning. If there was one thing the slayer could be sure of, it was that this man loved her sister, and that was enough to bring a smile to her face, if only for a few moments.

Camilla had fallen asleep a little after eleven, something all three conscious adults in the room were thankful for. Every waking moment she spent in the room, she asked question after question about what had happened to Aunt Dawn and what were all the machines for and why didn't the hospital have the Disney channel. She was lying on a small cot the nurse had brought to them.

Since visiting hours were technically over at nine, and only one person was supposed to spend the night in a hospital room, Spike and Willow had decided to keep a watch out in… or near… the waiting room. This, of course, left plenty of time for conversation. It took Willow a while to build up the courage to ask him about Los Angeles. She knew it was ridiculous, she was a mega powerful witch and all that, but she still wasn't a fan of confrontation.

"So, Spike," she began in as friendly of a voice as she could muster.

He looked at her suspiciously. They hadn't spoken a word to each other in nearly half an hour. He raised an eyebrow, indicating she should continue.

"Buffy said you didn't remember anything… about what happened to you after battle Los Angeles."

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed. Of course this was what she wanted to talk about. "Yes, Red. Like I've said."

"Well, what if you could? Remember I mean?"

"What are you getting at?" he asked, stopping and looking at her.

"I've been looking into some spells, and I think I've finally found one that might help you remember the time you lost. Maybe that would give us some sort of clue as to what happened to Angel, and why he's doing this."

Spike had never trusted magic. There were always consequences for using it. Always. And yet, a part of him was intrigued by the idea of remembering, knowing what had happened to him.

When he didn't respond, Willow turned herself around to face him. "I know you and I haven't been the best of friends, and I know that you have issues with magic, but I also know that I'm a damn good witch. I really do think this will work, Spike. And if you care about Buffy and Camilla as much as I think you do, then you'll at least let me try."

Though he detested anyone messing around in his brain, he knew she was right. This could help them figure out what had happened to Angel, and it turn, help them take him down. He knew as well as Willow did that even if Buffy claimed she could kill Angelus, he meant more to her than he ever had to them, and if they could find a way to rectify this situation without involving Buffy, it would be for the best.

"This isn't going to involve liquid metal crawling into my eyes is it?"

Willow smiled slightly. "No, not this time. I've advanced in eight years you know."

Spike couldn't help but think she sounded like the teenager he'd kidnapped and tried to force into doing a love spell for him after Dru had dumped him. He had a brief flashback of a fuzzy pink sweater. "Alright then. What do we do?"

---

"Here, drink this." Willow held out the yellowish creamy liquid.

Spike took it from her hand and tried his best not to make a face. "What the bloody hell is in this? Unicorn piss?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just a simple potion. It's to help relax your mind. It will help make it easier to retract your memories. It will have the same effect as the metal device we used before, only it will be much less painful for you."

The two had left the hospital for Dawn's apartment after Willow had cast the strongest protection spell she could think of on Dawn's hospital room. Anyone not invited into the room, human or otherwise, could not enter. This made both Buffy and Spike feel better about the slayer and her daughter staying alone. Before she was a mother, Buffy would have never worried about being left alone, but now the very thought of anything happening to Camilla caused her to take every precaution.

Buffy wasn't entirely crazy about Willow's idea, but agreed nonetheless. If she could help Spike remember even the smallest detail about what had happened after he'd been sucked into the black hole, it might lead them to Angelus. One thing was for certain. They needed to find him before he managed to hurt anyone else.

Xander and Giles had been called, but both had been encouraged not to fly back to LA. There was, after all, nothing they could do for Dawn. Besides, Buffy wanted both of them as far away as possible. The farther away they were, the harder it would be for Angelus to hurt them.

Spike resisted the urge to sniff the liquid, sure that the smell of it would change his mind, and brought the cup to his mouth. "This better work, Red," he told the witch, only half joking. He downed the liquid in one gulp, surprised to find it tasted something like pineapple. "Not bad. So how long before…" Spike broke off in mid-sentence as he began to feel dizzy. It seemed the answer to his unfinished question was not long at all. He sat down on the edge of the couch and waited. It didn't take long for the potion to take effect.

Willow pulled out her book and read the Latin words from the page, hoping this would work, and not knowing what they would do if it didn't.

---

Spike opened his eyes, the bright light momentarily blinding him. His first thought was fire. He was on fire. Except he wasn't.

He was on his feet in seconds, looking for a shelter, but not finding one. He was in the desert. The only thing he could see for miles was sand, the light brown crystals felt hot even through the thick soles of his black boots. The sun was boring down on him in white hot sheets. Only a look to the sky revealed that it was not the sun at all. Whatever orb was illuminating this vast wasteland was dark red, almost the color of blood, and it was close, much closer than he'd ever known the sun to be.

Spike wracked his brain, trying to remember what had happened. He'd remembered being in Sunnydale, in the hellmouth with Buffy. Her saying he could still make it. Her saying she loved him.

But no, that wasn't right. There was more. More he couldn't quite get a hold on.

He wasn't burning and had not turned into a big pile of dust, so that said something for the bloody sun shining above him. It didn't seem to be deadly. And vampires couldn't dehydrate so the endless scorching sands wouldn't kill him. Unless of course he failed to find anyone else. He would have to eat eventually.

Spike didn't sense any immediate threats, so began walking in a direction he could only hope led to something, anything but the barren land that seemed to stretch into eternity. It was then that he wondered if he was in hell. He had died in the hellmouth after all. Right?

After what seemed like days of walking, and he couldn't be sure of the time because the bloody sun neither rose nor set, simply stayed in the same position, somehow threatening him despite its seemingly harmless rays, Spike finally found the end of the arid land.

He found himself walking on small grey pebbles, which appeared to make a path through thick black foliage. It resembled a jungle of sorts. As soon as he stepped past the first draping plant life, Spike sensed that this had been a mistake. He saw the demon before it saw him, which was his only saving grace.

He wasn't sure exactly what kind of demon it was, but it looked oddly familiar. It was tall, but not very large with dark green skin that made it look a bit like a ninja turtle. Spike ducked as the first punch was thrown his way and landed a kick to the creature's abdomen. It recovered quickly and growled, showing its razor sharp teeth.

"What did you do to me, vampire?" it asked in a deep semi-threatening voice.

"'Fraid I don't know what you mean, mate," Spike replied slamming his fist into the side of its head.

Teeth bared, the green beast lunged forward but Spike was ready for it. He grabbed a loose branch from the blackened trees and rammed it into its chest. For a moment, he thought the fight was over, until he and the branch were being thrown ten feet further into the forest. He jumped back to his feet, more determined than ever to rid the world, whatever world this was, of this not-so-jolly green giant.

The demon growled again and charged at him, sending them both to the ground. "How did we get here?" it demanded, grabbing Spike by the throat and squeezing hard.

Spike used his free hand, the one which the demon had not pinned to the ground, and shoved it into the wound in its chest. The demon screamed out and released his grip just enough for Spike to push him off. "Your guess is as good as mine, you sod."

They each managed to get in a few more jabs before Spike got the upper hand. He had the demon down and before it could react, Spike had shoved his recovered branch back into its chest, deeper this time. The demon cried out once more and the fight seemed to drain out of it.

"You will regret this," it hissed at him.

"I'm sure I'll lose sleep tonight."

"You laugh now, vampire. But she will find you."

"And who would she be?"

The demon only laughed, black liquid pouring from its mouth and gaping wound. "Death is a release from this place. Soon enough, you'll be wishing I had killed you."

---

"Spike? Spike…"

As his eyelids opened, blue eyes met her green ones. Buffy had been watching him for over an hour.

Willow had returned to the hospital after the spell had worn off. Spike hadn't remembered as much as she'd hoped he would, but it was a start. With a few more doses of the potion, he might be able to recall the entire experience. If they were able to try again. The spell had taken a slight toll on the vampire. He'd come out of his daze feeling a tad bit unwell, something she hadn't anticipated since he was undead. She'd warmed him up some blood and then she'd gotten the call from Buffy.

Dawn had woken up. She remembered everything about her "accident". It had been Angelus who'd attacked them and he'd told her to let Buffy know she wasn't safe and neither was her little brat. There was no doubt in the younger girl's mind that if given the chance, he would kill them all. It was only the fact that Buffy and Camilla were already on their way back to Dawn's apartment that kept Spike from rushing out in his weakened condition. Eric had returned with determination to stay with his fiancé, especially since she was now awake. Dawn assured Buffy it was okay for her to leave; Willow had cast a hell of a protection spell on her room, after all.

Though she hadn't wanted to leave her sister, Buffy had also wanted to get back and find out what, if anything, Spike had learned. She was also slightly disappointed that he could only remember something about a desert and a turtle demon, but this at least gave Willow and the coven something to go on. Buffy could also tell the spell had affected Spike more negatively than Willow originally thought it would and that worried her. The witch wanted to do the spell again, and even though Spike acted like he was fine, Buffy could tell he wasn't. He'd slept through most of the night and the next morning. He'd also consumed five bags of blood from the butcher.

"Buffy?" Spike's eyes adjusted and focused on her face. Her eyes were full of concern.

She reached a hand out to smooth back his hair. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I've been worse," he said, sitting up on the bed. "How's Dawn?"

"She's good. Much better today. The doctors say she may even get to come home soon."

Spike nodded. He was glad the girl was okay, but as Buffy began filling him in on the details of what Dawn had told her about Angelus, he found himself even more angry than before. How had the git managed to lose his soul again? Sure, Angel was helper of the helpless, champion of the people, but take away his soul and he was one of the most ruthless, uncaring beings Spike had ever encountered. They were different, he and his grandsire. Not that Spike hadn't killed his fair share of innocents, but he'd never looked back, never relished in it. Not the way Angelus did.

And Spike had somehow managed to maintain a least a small portion of his humanity even after being turned. This small piece, combined with his love for the woman sitting next to him, had motivated him to seek out a legend halfway across the world. Why, he wondered, had Angel never thought to do that? Why had he never attempted to find a way to keep his soul intact? Maybe, Spike reasoned, it was because there was a small part of him that was still Angelus; a voice in the back of his head stopping him with lame excuses.

Not that any of this mattered to Buffy. She would always love tall, dark and forehead no matter what he did.

Well, he supposed that wasn't true anymore. If he hurt Camilla, Spike had no doubt the older vampire would be a Kansas song faster than he could blink. But as of yet, he'd made no move on the child. And, Spike thought, he'd best not even think about it.

"As soon as she's better, Dawn and Eric are boarding the first flight to England. They're going to stay with Giles and Xander at the council until we get this figured out. And I'm sending Cam with them." Buffy didn't sound too sure about the last part, but tried to keep her face neutral.

The idea of her daughter being away from her was slightly terrifying with a murderous vampire on the loose, but there was no safer place for her to be than the council, surrounded by slayers, watchers and the world's most powerful witches.

"And you're staying?" Spike asked skeptically.

"I have to. Until we find him."

And kill him. The words were left unspoken but they both knew it was probably inevitable.

Spike thought it odd that Buffy hadn't mentioned, at least not where he could hear, anything about restoring Angelus' soul.

"So it's you, me, and red then?"

"I don't know. Willow was talking about heading back early. She thinks she could be of help to the coven."

"May need her to do a little more magic before she leaves," Spike said.

Buffy knew he was talking about the spell she had cast on him to help him remember. "We'll find another way, Spike."

Yes, the spell had done a bloody number on him. He couldn't recall feeling that physically weak in quite some time. But he also knew he'd began to uncover important memories, memories that could help them find Angelus, or at the very least help figure out what happened to them after the witches had sent a black hole to devour them.

Buffy reached a hand out to touch the scar above his eyebrow. "If someone had told me a few months ago that we'd be here right now I'm not sure I would have believed it." She smiled slightly. "That night you found Camilla… when I saw that it was you who had her… I'm not sure I've ever been more relieved in my life."

"I'm not sure I've ever been so terrified," Spike admitted. "When she told me who her mum was, the idea of seeing you again…"

"You don't have to be terrified."

It was very reminiscent of another moment, years before. One they'd had right before she'd run off and snogged Peaches. Spike pushed the thought from his mind and Buffy leaned in and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was gentle and very sweet and cut short by a shrill voice ringing in their ears.

"Mr. Spike!"

Spike turned just in time to catch the girl as she dove into his lap. "Hey Bit."

"I'm so glad you're awake. Aunty Willow said you wasn't feeling good and so I had to leave you alone, but then you slept for a long long time and so I couldn't show you what I made."

"And what would that be?"

"Come on. Come on." She jumped down and began tugging on his hand. "I'll show you."

Spike looked to Buffy who just shrugged and smiled as her daughter dragged him from the room.

When they reached the living room she pulled him over to the couch and instructed him to sit down. Then she picked up a piece of paper off of the coffee table and handed it to him.

"I drawed this for you."

Spike looked at the picture she had drawn. It was a picture of three stick people. One was obviously Buffy, with blonde hair and what looked like a stick in one of her hands. The smaller one in the middle, he assumed was Camilla. It sported a bright pink dress and blonde pigtails. The third he was sure was supposed to be him. She'd drawn black clothes on it and no hair.

"What is this, Bit?" he asked.

"This is you, me and mommy," she said, pointing them each out respectively.

"Why don't I have hair?"

"You do," she said pointing at the top of the stickman's head. "I colored it white."

Spike laughed lightly.

"My teacher said to draw a picture of my fam-a-ly," she said. "She said to draw our mommies and daddies and I don't have a daddy. She said it was okay not to draw one but I wanted to cause everyone else has daddies."

Spike felt his anger rising again when he thought about the man who'd left Buffy to raise a child on her own. If he could see the bloody wanker he would have more than one unpleasant thing to say to him.

"Will you be my daddy?"

The question caught him off guard but Spike knew that if his heart could beat, it would have stopped at that moment. He looked over at Camilla and could tell by the look on her little face that she was beyond serious.

"I don't know if I can do that," he told her honestly.

"Why not?"

Why not? The list of reasons was long, but he couldn't reveal most of those reasons to her. She still didn't know he was technically dead and though he and Buffy seemed to be heading in a good direction, Spike couldn't convince himself that it would last. If the past was any indication, he was doomed to be unlucky in love.

"Because I'm too old," he said finally.

"Nuhuh. Grandpa Giles is mommy's daddy and he's way older than you."

Spike couldn't help but smile at that. "You've got a point, little bit."

"What's a point?"

"You ask too many questions."

"How else am I gonna know stuff?"

Spike looked back at the photo in his hands and tried to picture himself as a father. Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard. He already spent a lot of time with the girl. He'd played tea party and taken her to the zoo. He'd tucked her in to bed and told her stories, the not evil kind, of course. Would it really be that far of a stretch for him to take on the role of guardian to her? But there was still the matter of Buffy, and of him being undead.

"Will you maybe be my daddy?" she asked after a moment.

"I'll have to talk with your mum about that," he said finally. It was the best he could come up with that wouldn't scare her or hurt her feelings.

Camilla looked up at him and smiled. She had seen him kissing her mommy, and even though she would never even touch a boy cause she might get cooties, except Mr. Spike cause grown ups don't have cooties, it made her mommy happy. And she was sure her mommy loved Mr. Spike. Just as much as she did.

"I love you, Mr. Spike," she said, wrapping her small arms around one of his.

"I love you, too, bit."