Disclaimer: Joss owns them, all I want is my very own naked Spike, preferably chocolate covered, but Joss won’t let me even if I asked nicely.

Author’s note: Thanks to Aribelle for the betaing! *Hugs* Thanks to Stephanie, Peyton, Spikes_petslayer, EAS, wulfie, and Maryperk for the fab reviews!
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Chapter 4: Post Secondary Education

Buffy’s plan had been to stay at home all day and catch up on some most needed TV watching. Her mother, unfortunately had other plans.

“Your education is expensive Buffy, and I will not have you waste it!” lectured her mother, the house now devoid of the Watcher and Scoobies.

Spike looked on with interest, wondering exactly how this conversation was going to end.

“I can’t go to school Mom, I’m all Spike-like! Remember sun equals flamey death?” retorted Buffy, as she waved Spike’s hands in the air for emphasis.

“I understand Buffy, but that doesn’t mean your body can’t go to school for you, I’m sure that Spike will take very good notes for you.”

Joyce looked over at the body housing her daughter and smiled when she saw Spike’s mouth agape. With a small turn of her head she noted that Buffy’s body was reacting in the same way.

“You can’t honestly suggest that Spike go to school for me Mom. He’ll ruin my life!”

Spike snorted at the idea. “I’m not going to bloody ruin your perfect bubble gum life, Slayer. Might actually raise your grades,” he muttered.

Joyce smiled. “Wonderful. Buffy tell him what classes you have today and where they are.”

“But he hasn’t done any of the reading! You are so going to get me in trouble,” she whined. “And just what am I supposed to do while Spike is living my life? Exactly what does he do that’s so useful during the day?”
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Clad in the garb of a sophisticated co-ed, Spike sauntered up to the UC Sunnydale campus wondering what havoc he could wreak on the Slayer’s life.

On the little piece of paper he held in Buffy’s manicured hands was the class schedule for the day: English lit, Modern History and Sociology. Spike exhaled the air out of Buffy’s living lungs and walked towards impending doom.

The halls of this particular building were replete with college kids, unaware of the evil killer in their midst. Every vampire feared the Slayer, but the idea that such a killer was just happily walking around the campus living the life of a carefree student boggled his mind. Checking the doorways for room numbers, Spike failed to notice he was being followed.

“Buffy?” came a familiar voice.

Spike tried to ignore the sound. Unfortunately it was habit now, to look for the Slayer when he heard her name. Spike felt a hand on Buffy’s arm and turned to face the encroacher with a glare.

“Buffy?” asked Captain Cardboard again, “I called after you; I guess you didn’t hear me?”

Spike inwardly groaned. Spike looked over the hulk of a man that held him fast in his grip. The Slayer’s boy toy.

“Can I walk you to class?” Riley asked.

Spike held back the laugh that was about to issue from his lips.

“I called you last night, but you weren’t in the dorm. Did you go home to your mother’s house?” he asked.

Spike warily looked over at the Solider Boy. Spike tried to think of what to say and how to say it to get this oaf to leave him the bloody hell alone. With the personal mantra of ‘Slayer will dust your ass if you muck up her peachy keen life’ Spike opened Buffy’s lip glossed mouth to speak.

“Ya, I did,” said Spike distinctly, ever aware of the fact that the British accent was not going anywhere. In a hundred and change years that he’d been around he hadn’t managed to fake an American accent worth a damn. And now he was going to pay for it.

“You should have let me know. Willow wasn’t there either.”

“Am I supposed to bloody check in with you now?” Spike asked incredulously. “Seems to me that this bint can take care of herself. Slayer and all.”

Riley’s forehead wrinkled. “Buffy what’s up with the accent? Are you trying out for the drama club?”

Spike rolled his eyes at that comment. The urge to snap this git’s neck was overwhelming. However, he was loath to switch back into a pile of dust.

“Giles starting to rub off on you?” continued Riley.

Spike yanked Buffy’s arm away from the wanker and stepped back.

“Better run off to class like the good little co-ed I am,” said Spike, making Buffy’s already high girlish voice even higher. Spike turned away from Riley with the intention of getting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

“Buffy?” called Riley once more. “I’ll pick you up at eight, like we planned?”

Spike stopped dead in his tracks. The Slayer had a date with this git? Bloody buggering hell!
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The horrible possibility that his Slayer had a date with that ponce intruded on his thoughts all through Buffy’s English Lit class. They were discussing Shakespeare’s sonnets, a normally intriguing topic for him, though he would be a fool to admit it. Unfortunately, his mind was swirling at the possibly of exactly what would happen tonight at eight. The mere thought at spending any time voluntarily with Captain Cardboard was revolting, and had begun to churn the breakfast that he had eaten that morning. He had to get the Slayer to give him Riley’s phone number, so that he could break off the date.

Spike emerged from the Lit class determined to fix this situation himself and strode with purpose to the Slayer’s dorm room.

She must have the git’s number written somewhere.

Spike turned the lock with ease and tested the door for that barrier which he expected.

There was no barrier after all.

With a smile Spike passed the threshold, gleeful in his new ability to enter any house, any residence with ease.

Before him lay the Slayer’s dorm room; two beds pristinely made, not a shoe out of place. Spike sat on the bed and brushed Buffy’s long blond locks out of his view before beginning his search for the git’s phone number.

The bedside table was a jumble, lacking in the organisation that the room exuded. Clearly the room was a façade for the underlying mess. Spike waded through the pens, papers, lipsticks, stakes and random jewellery before his hand passed over something that made his whole being cringe.

A condom.

The Slayer was having sex with the Soldier Boy.

The revelation was not new. Sure, he had assumed that they had been going at it, but the idea that Solider Boy had no idea that it wasn’t the Slayer occupying her gorgeous body, was something else indeed. Spike tossed the condom into Buffy’s bag and carried on inspecting the contents of the bedside table.

Spike slammed the drawer shut with annoyance when he had finished going through the contents, no paper labelled ‘Riley’s phone number’ was contained therein.

Spike passed a glance at the rest of the room. There was a desk...it could be there. Spike stood up from the bed and walked towards the desk, only to be interrupted by a knock on the dorm door. Slightly worried about what he would find on the other side of that door, Spike reached out for the handle.
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Buffy stared in shock at the list of things to do today that Spike had given her. He had sworn up and down that these were the things that he had really intended to do. Buffy, on the other hand, couldn’t help but think that perhaps Spike was making her life hell by making her do menial labour.

She was standing in his crypt, Spike’s face a mixture of disgust and annoyance.

To do today...
1. Get rid of cobwebs in crypt.
2. Acquire fridge from dump for blood storage.
3. Watch passions (TAKE NOTES)
4. Talk to Clem about those kittens he owes me.
5. Dye hair.

Who the hell was Clem? Buffy asked herself. Kittens?

Buffy thought back to the last time she had had a good look at Spike’s hair and concurred that, yes, he did need to dye his hair again. But there was no way that she was going to scour the dump for a fridge!

Her mother had insisted that it was the least she could do, as Spike was going to school for her. It was completely unfair that her mother seemed to be all ‘yay Spike’ since this happened. Maybe it was because he was instrumental in the knocking out of Faith the Psycho or maybe it was something else.

Maybe mom ‘liked’ Spike. Ewwww. After the whole Band Candy incident last year Buffy had been perfectly willing to believe that her mom was not a sexual creature. In fact, she blocked out all references to sex and her mom in the same sentence at each opportunity.

The idea of Spike and her mom together though, brought about feelings that were way beyond ewww. Her mom couldn’t like Spike, he was Spike. He was hers.

Hers.

Spike was hers. Hers to stake, hers to fight, hers to do...

That was why she was so mad at the Initiative right? They tampered with her vampire.

The Spike version of resolve face covered his chiselled cheeks; Buffy got out a broom and attacked those cobwebs.
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Spike threw back the door of Buffy’s dorm room to reveal Riley, goofy grin pasted on his face.

“Buffy!” he greeted, pushing past Spike to get into the room. “You ran off so fast after your class, I didn’t get to see you. Are you feeling ok today? You seem off...”

Spike felt that urge to rip off the git’s head return. Riley walked about the room looking over the immaculate housekeeping of the Slayer and Red. He leaned over the bed and picked something up out of the Slayer’s bag.

The vampire trapped in the Slayer’s body looked on with horror as Riley held up the condom with a smile on his face.

“Intending to seduce me, little lady?” Riley said, trying to sound seductively.

Spike cringed feeling like Buffy’s stomach was rebelling.

Riley sauntered up towards him, reaching out with his massive hands. Spike stepped backwards only to find himself backed up against Buffy’s desk.

“We could blow off your next class and get started early...” added Riley, putting his hand suggestively over the bulge in his trousers.

Spike was ready to heave. There was only so much that he was willing to go through to keep the Slayer’s life all perfect like she wanted. Spike swallowed down his disgust. He’d put up with this crap long enough. He let Solider Boy lean in closer before putting his plan into action.

Riley’s breath was humid on Buffy’s cheek, before Spike pushed Captain Cardboard away.

“Uh, Solider Boy, you are making me want to heave. Get off!” spat Spike, pushing Riley off of Buffy’s body. Riley landed on the floor with a thump. Spike relished the lack of chippyness in his head.

“If you don’t mind, Whitebread, I’ve got Modern History to attend.” Spike picked up Buffy’s bag off the bed and turned to head out the door. “And don’t bother to pick me up for our...date...” Spike made a disgusted look. “I would rather let a Pithrol demon eat my brains than let you touch me.”

Spike flipped Buffy’s hair over her shoulder and strode out the door, but not before plucking the condom out of Riley‘s fingers.
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Spike sat down carefully beside Willow in Modern History. He assumed that the Slayer would be sitting beside her friend.

Willow looked over shocked at the body of her friend beside her.

“Uh, does Buffy know you are out and about Spike?” Willow asked.

Spike nodded. “I’m to attend the bint’s classes and not muck up her perfect Slayer life.”

“You are taking notes for her?” asked Willow.

In response Spike got out the note book that Buffy had given him to write down her notes. Willow glanced over the flowing cursive writing that covered the pages.

“You have nice handwriting Spike,” complimented Willow.

Spike smiled, and turned to pay attention to the professor.

“Did you see Riley, or more to the point did Riley see you?” asked Willow. “‘Cause that would be bad.”

“Oh I saw the git, tried to get it on with his girl in the dorm room at one point.”

Willow’s jaw dropped. “What did you do?” she asked.

“Told him to sod off. The way he was breathing all over her body, made me want to heave.”

Willow nodded.

“’Sides got my girl’s education to think of, not gettin’ laid, now don’t I?”

“Your girl?” asked Willow.

“Damn straight, she’s wearing my body and all, we are stuck with each other right now.”
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tbc...