Disclaimer: Joss owns them all, I’m only having fun.

Author’s Note: Thanks to Aribelle for the fab betaing.

Thanks to Max, Marzbar, BTL, EAS, Jane, spet, Comedy of Errors and idk5743228 for the reviews!
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Chapter 5: Chicken Wings and Unwanted Advances

Buffy leaned over the bathroom sink, Spike’s hands covered in latex gloves, peroxide burning his scalp. Not a pleasant feeling.

With a very unmanly pout, Buffy stood upright, adjusting the towel that sat on Spike’s shoulders, protecting his alabaster chest from stray peroxide.

Buffy was still very much of the opinion that this day sucked. Spike’s crypt was free of cobwebs, she had watched Passions, taking detailed notes, as if there was going to be a test later, and she was now bleaching Spike’s hair. Three things checked off on Spike’s list of things to do today.

Buffy took a long look at the bathroom in which she was standing. The scene of earlier misadventures with Spike Jr and her hands. She couldn’t stop thinking about the whole shower, the way that he made her hands touch his body, the way that it felt to have Spike’s cock hard and wanting release, the orgasm...

That was the thing that invaded her thoughts most. The orgasm. Gah! Starting to think like Anya!

The problem was that she never thought this long about the orgasms that Riley was responsible for, they’d never been so intense. She stopped her uncharitable thoughts about her boyfriend, focusing on more pleasant memories.

It made Spike’s skin break out in goose bumps as she resumed her pleasant ponderings. Unconsciously she closed Spike’s blue eyes and let his head tilt back. The memories produced tangible tingles all over his body and slowly one of his hands, as if of its own free volition, travelled down the length of his torso and slipped past and into the waist band of the blue jeans that Buffy had dressed Spike’s body in this morning.

Spike’s fingers brushed to tip of his cock, causing Buffy to let out a gasp of delight at the sensation. Buffy opened Spike’s blue eyes and looked around the bathroom, as if there had been someone around to watch her get naughty with Spike’s body.

Which was turning out to be a really good idea right now.

Buffy looked down at Spike’s denim encased length with wonder, the vampire’s hand still resting inside the waist band.

No one would ever have to know, right? she thought.

Nervously she popped the button to the blue jeans Spike was wearing and let Spike Jr make an appearance as she slid down the zipper.

Spike’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ as Buffy inspected Spike’s spike. Her earlier comment about his size was completely accurate. And it was turned on. Tentatively she reached out to touch the belled head, startling herself when it bobbed of its own accord.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow. Am I turned on because I’m thinking about Spike’s body, or is Spike’s body turned on, because it’s Spike’s body and he’s a pig?

She chuckled to herself, Spike’s manly voice echoing through the bathroom. She glanced down once more at the erection Spike’s body was sporting and decided that she had best do something about it. It wouldn’t do to have her mother come home from work to see her daughter with a hard on, would it?

Logical, Right?

Spike’s black nail polished fingers skirted over his shaft, tracing veins. Slowly, Buffy grasped the appendage and pumped Spike’s hand over the length a few times.

And it felt good. Really good.

She had done this before to Riley, but never to completion. Riley always wanted it done ‘proper.’ She had never seen a man cum until today, it always had to be in her. It didn’t leave room for exploration of undiscovered territory.

It’s educational, really, it is, she thought, as she moved Spike’s hand up and down his length.

Buffy watched with fascination as precum began to form, soon coating Spike’s hands with the substance, making her actions faster, more heated.

The intensity built forcing Buffy to lean against the sink, hoping that Spike’s knees wouldn’t fail her. The rhythmic pumping of his hand against his cock and the sensations that came from that little action sent Buffy’s brain into overdrive. She wanted to cum. She needed to cum. And she needed to find something to think about to make her do it.

Forcing Spike’s eyes shut, Buffy tried to focus on the last time she had good sex, riding with abandon on a hard cock like the one that was in Spike’s hand right this very moment. Naked and hot, enjoying the sensation of a hard shaft thrusting inside of her, hitting that spot, driving her over the edge.

A moan echoed through the bathroom.

Spike’s hand pumped faster while Buffy screwed Spike’s eyes shut harder, imagining the contours of the man in her brain fucking the daylights out of her. His strong arms, holding her firmly in place, perfect abs, manly hands, black polished fingers digging into her hips, piercing blue eyes staring at her, waiting for her to cum.

With a roar, Buffy came, coating Spike’s hands with cum.

As she cleaned up, it dawned on her that it hadn’t been Riley fucking her in her mind’s eye.

“Oh my God!” she yelled at the mirror that held no reflection. I was thinking of fucking Spike!
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Spike bid Willow goodbye outside Modern History, feeling the need to put some food into Buffy’s stomach. He stopped by the cafeteria and purchased a garden salad, cause that’s what the Slayer would eat, Spicy chicken wings, a piece of cherry cheesecake, bag of M&Ms and a Chocolate Milk.

He sat down at a free table with his booty intent on filling’s the Slayer’s stomach up and getting rid of the horrible hollow feeling. Buffy’s nimble fingers made easy work of the plastic containers and he was poised, fork in hand ready to dig in, when the only other chair at the table was suddenly occupied.

Solider Boy was back.

“Bloody hell!” cursed Spike. “Can’t you soddin’ take a hint?” seethed Spike.

Riley laughed. “Have you been taking British accent lessons from Spike, Buffy?” asked Riley. “’Cause you sound ridiculous.”

Spike let a moment pass before responding.

“Listen you buggering ponce!” Spike hissed. “Leave me the bleedin’ hell alone!”

Riley guffawed. “Buffy you can’t expect me to believe that! I think this coy school girl fluttering virtue is all really sweet, but it’s been a week since I was last inside you and it’s driving me insane. Please Buffy, I’m begging here. Have a little compassion.”

Spike looked back in horror. The words ‘Too Much Information’ were ringing through his mind. Spike swiftly packed up his food sealing the goodness into their plastic coverings and placing them in Buffy‘s bag.. Spike and Riley rose at the same time, Spike holding his container of Spicy wings.

“You have an hour between classes right?” asked Riley with hope. “I’ll have you back to your class with plenty of time.”

“An hour isn’t enough for a proper shag you wanker!” spat Spike. “How the bloody hell the Slayer puts up with your oafish bollocking about, it boggles the mind. Take a bit of advice Whitebread...get used to taking care of yourself.”

Spike stepped away from him, only to be pulled back by Riley’s meaty hand.

“Buffy? What’s wrong with you?” asked Riley. “You know I don’t do...that...it’s unhealthy...Why won’t you go to bed with me?”

Spike smiled, knowing that Buffy’s dazzling smile beamed up at the Soldier Boy. “Well this Slayer’s undergone some changes,” said Spike happily, wrenching Buffy’s arm from Riley’s grip.
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Spike rushed off to Buffy’s dorm room, with the idea that there, he could have peace and quiet long enough to actually eat this lunch.

Spike opened the door only to find Red and some girl he had never met before kissing on Red’s bed.

“Bloody buggering hell!” Spike cried. “I just want to eat my soddin’ lunch in bloody peace!”

Willow and her friend stopped their pawing at each other to look at the source of the outburst. Buffy’s body was sitting sullenly on her bed, holding a plate of Chicken wings.

“Uh? Spike?” asked Willow.

There was sniffle from the Slayer’s body.

“I don’t know why I’m all teary!” he muttered, trying to reign in the tears. “I’m just all emotional!”

Willow sat down beside him on Buffy’s bed, a tentative hand patting Buffy’s back. “Mood Swing,” the witch explained.

“Wanna run that by me again?” asked Spike not quite understanding.

“I know Buffy’s cycles pretty well; you live with another girl, your cycles start working in sync. You are PMSing Spike.”

It was as if the day was a bottomless pit of badness. A new dimension of hell that Dante hadn’t written about.

“M...maybe I should go,” stammered the blond that Willow had been kissing, now standing awkwardly off to the side of the room.

“No!” protested Willow, looking at her new girlfriend. “Don’t go, or, I can go with, and let Spike eat.” Willow looked at her friend’s body with a smile. “We’ll go, k?”

Spike nodded, feeling his hunger return, as his sniffles subsided. He watched the witch and her friend leave the room, hand in hand. He set out a mini picnic on the Slayer’s floor, eager to get this day over with.
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Buffy skulked about Spike’s crypt feeling very guilty about her ‘wank’ and thinking about Spike instead of Riley. This did not bode well for future Riley/Buffy relations. She was already at that point where she couldn’t really remember what Riley’s cock looked like.

Though if Riley ever found out that she was with Spike’s naked body and gave him a hand job...she didn’t think it would matter if she never remembered what Riley’s cock looked like.

Buffy shook Spike’s newly bleached locks, trying to get the image of Spike’s length out of her mind, and desperately hoping that the appendage in question wouldn’t rise to the occasion. She just wanted to get this over with. There wasn’t much she could do while the sun was still up, but she could do this.

Buffy raised Spike’s hand up high, a measuring tape in his hand. There was no way she was going to be scouring the dump for a fridge, but what she was prepared to do was use her mom’s credit card at Sears.

Buffy was eyeballing the furniture in the upper level of the crypt when she heard a pitiful moan from the down stairs.

She was well acquainted with the lower level of the crypt, after taking the sewers back and forth to her house a couple of times already today. Buffy grabbed one of Spike’s many axes that lay about the crypt haphazardly hidden and descended the ladder into the darkness of the downstairs.

Buffy followed Spike’s eyes to the back corner of the crypt, near the sewer entrance, only to come face to face with Harmony of all vampires, her face covered in tears, her clothes dirty and worn.

“Harmony?” asked Buffy, weirded out. She so didn’t want to have to deal with Spike’s ex girlfriend right now, she had a fridge shopping to plan.

She is Spike’s Ex girlfriend though right? Buffy asked herself.

“Oh!” gasped Harmony excitedly, “You’re here! Of course you’re here, I mean it’s your crypt. But you’re here and you can take me in.”

“Take you in?” asked Buffy, Spike’s eyebrow raised in confusion.

Harmony rose to her feet and sauntered up to Buffy, seduction clearly on the vampiress’ mind.

Buffy took a step back. “Uh, Harmony, I don’t think it would be a good idea... for you to stay here, I mean. Everyone knows who lives in this crypt, right? Anyone who knows your history would definitely look for you here.”

Harmony pouted. “Why are you talking all American like? What happened to my Blondie Bear?”

Buffy spat out a laugh. “Blondie Bear?”

“You know I call you my Blondie Bear, Spike. I thought you liked it,” Harmony purred, wrapping an arm around Spike’s neck and trailing a manicured finger up Spike’s chest.

Buffy knew enough about Spike to know that there was no way in hell that he would ever willingly consent to being called ‘Blondie Bear.’

“All this not black you are wearing is turning me on,” whispered Harmony, her mouth getting ever closer to Spike’s ear.

Spike’s eyes went wide and Buffy threw Harmony off, backing up closer to the ladder.

“Holy Crap!” cried Buffy. This can’t be happening Buffy panicked.

“Spike, what the hell is wrong with you?” asked Harmony.

So many retorts, witty put downs and insults came to mind, but in the end Buffy took the higher ground. She raised a hand in Harmony’s direction, before walking briskly past her and out the sewer entrance. Destination: home.
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tbc...