Disclaimer: Joss said to write fan fic...so that’s what I’m doing.
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Buffy moaned. The room was too bright, even though she knew that the curtains were closed. She was seriously afraid to move, badness could ensue. She would feel Spike’s arms on her skin, and no offence to him, she just wanted not to be touched. Buffy tired to roll away but regretted it straight away. Buffy moaned.

“Hung over are we pet?” Buffy could tell even with her eyes closed that he was smirking. Buffy tried making her mouth work, but found it too dry. Buffy rolled and aimlessly felt her bed side table for her bottle of water. Spike anticipated her and uncapped it for her.

“Ug” she finally said, getting some water into her.

“How are ya feelin’ pet?” he asked.

Buffy had the urge to pop him one in the nose, just for asking the question. She looked at him, intending to give him what for, but instead, bolted for the bathroom.
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Half an hour later, Buffy emerged from the bathroom purged, showered and pain relieved. Lunch time had come and gone.

“Are you hung over enough?” asked Dawn much more loudly than necessary. Buffy cringed.

“Yes, thank you,” she said

Dawn smiled. “What did you do last night?”

“Danced, drank, other things I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Figures. The thing I don’t understand is why this was such a big deal.”

“It’s a very big deal Dawn,” said Buffy, “I’ve so much just wanted to be spontaneous and carefree, without having to think of the consequences for a long time. I’ve been a responsible adult far too long, I just wanted to be a frivolous girl again. That’s really hard to do when you are The Slayer and you’ve celebrated your centennial.”

“Well now you have the hang over to prove it.”

“Yep,” said Buffy reaching for her water bottle.
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“I need someone to proof read for me,” said Buffy with an innocent look on her face. “Please?” She handed the piece of paper to Spike, who was trying to watch Passions.

“You can write while you are hung over?”

“Happy Blue Pills are my friends.”

“Happy Blue Pills?”

“Advil Migraine liqui-gels, Happy Blue pills.”

“So what is it that I’m reading then?”

“Blackmail.”

Spike smiled and began to read.

Dear Mr Travers,

Allow me to firstly congratulate you and the Board of Elders at the Watcher’s Council on your acquisition of the Mark of JeiZel for the archives. I trust this relic will improve your research into the demon creation myth.

The main purpose of this letter is to follow up on the inquiry made by my watcher, Rupert Giles on the possibility of a salary for The Slayer.

I am well away that Slayers have never been paid for their slayer duties, however, in this day and age and considering the long life of the present Slayer (myself), it would seem reasonable and even sound policy to provide an income for Slayers that are past the age of majority. In today’s capitalistic world a Slayer who does not need to concern herself with how to provide for herself and her family those basic necessities of life, is a Slayer who can more effectively do the duty for which the Powers That Be have chosen her.

I will conclude this letter with a word of caution about your newest acquisition. Close proximity to bread mould can have a rather messy effect. Good luck with your research. I pray no Vlax demons find out about it and I look forward to hearing from you about the salary.

Dutifully yours,

Buffy Anne Summers,
Chosen One

“Who or what are the Board of Elders?” asked Dawn, who was now reading over Spike's shoulder.

“Department heads of the council, like there is a chief librarian, one is in charge of locating potentials, one is in charge of watcher training, etc.”

“And the Mark of JeiZel?”

“Just something that should not exist but does. Kinda like the Gem of Amara, but it doesn’t make anyone invincible. In the right circles though it could be very powerful.”

“Cryptic much?”

“Oh I try.”

“It’s good pet. I don’t know exactly how it will blackmail the wankers but you know best,” said Spike finally.

“Ooooh I like it when you say that,” she cooed.

Buffy kissed his cheek and left the room to type up her letter.
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After a few moments retyping her letter, a considerable afternoon shag and reading over Dawn’s history paper, Buffy and Spike took a car trip.

Buffy wanted to give Giles a copy of her letter to the council and she had double meat business to take care of.

Giles opened his door, book in hand.

“Buffy what a delightful surprise.”

Buffy handed him the copy of the letter.

“I wrote this. This is your copy, the other I’ve already put into the mail.”

Giles looked perplexed for a moment but began to read. Buffy looked over her shoulder to where Spike was waiting in the car. He was tapping his fingers to the rhythm of Friggin in the Riggin by the Sex Pistols.

“Buffy, this is absolutely extraordinary. Do they really have the Mark of JeiZel?”

“Besides the point Giles.”

“Ah yes, well it will certainly get Travers’ attention. You may have another delegation of watchers on your front porch.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle Giles. Now if you will excuse me I will let you get back to your book. Spike and I are going out for Doublemeat medleys.”
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Buffy laughed as Spike looked exceedingly uncomfortable in the florescent lights of the Doublemeat Palace. Buffy leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Just order something.”

“I don’t know what to bloody eat, it’s all processed and what is that smell?”

“We have to order something Spike, or they may kick us out.” Buffy rolled her eyes at her vampire and edged up to talk to the person on the cash. “I’d like a Doublemeat classic combo with an ice tea, and he will have the same but with a Coke.”

“Didn’t the nibblet tell me that you’d gone veggie?”

“Funny thing about the doublemeat burger...”
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Buffy munched down on her fries, basking in the glow from the grease that covered her fingers. Strangely enough she missed doublemeat burgers. They didn’t expand the franchise into England. All this thinking about eating burgers led her thoughts to her teeth, and how she still had her own, but people were sick of hearing about that.

“So you are telling me that you stooped to work in this hell hole?”

“For a little under a year.”

“Please tell me I tried to talk you out of it pet.”

“Oh you did, but I was desperate, I needed money. Does Full Copper Re-pipe not ring any bells?”

“It does, I paid for it remember?”

“And I am eternally grateful. The thing was at the time, I was still all Spike’s evil. So I wouldn’t have touched your money with a ten foot pole. I think I had that ten foot pole up my ass. I got pragmatic as I got older. Money is a necessary evil.”

“Look at you with all the big words, cracked a dictionary did we?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Then something got her attention.

“There she is.”

Spike looked over in the direction that Buffy indicated with her fries. The old woman looked so innocent and unassuming.

“You sure pet?”

“Absolutely. Always orders the same thing, a coffee and an apple pie.”

Spike watched the lady in question, who was walking towards them. The old lady veered to the left and sat a few chairs away from the couple.

“You sure about that memory of yours love?”

Buffy had noticed the pie too. “Ok, it’s not important what the order is, just that I know what’s going to happen.”

Buffy munched a few more fries before licking her fingers and pushing the empty tray away from her.

“I feel like I just ate a tub of butter,” she sighed. “But it tasted better.”

Spike pushed his try closer to her, “Want mine pet?” Spike hadn’t even touched his food.

Buffy’s face lit up and she reached to unwrap the burger.
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Feeling whale-like Buffy was still waiting for the wig lady to finish her pie and coffee. Buffy planned a confrontation in the alley, she had brought a fun little axe for the occasion.

After what seemed like an eternity, the lady left the restaurant and Buffy and Spike followed. Spike took a slight detour to pick up the weapons from the car as Buffy continued to follow at a short distance.

“Are you following me my dear?” asked the old lady.

“Actually yes, I wanted to know where you shop for your wigs. I’m thinking about a wig for Halloween next year,” said Buffy sweetly.

The lady’s smile turned to a scowl. Buffy smiled. Time to kick demon booty.
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When Spike returned with the axe Buffy had the old lady/ grey penis shaped ugly thing backed into a corner. Spike tossed her the axe and watched as Buffy took off the protruding thing from the old lady’s head and proceeded to mash it into a gooey pulp.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Buffy. “The smell is starting to get to me, we can have alley sex some other time.”
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Buffy and Spike returned home to find that Dawn and Willow were watching The Craft on tv.

Spike excused himself, he had a poker game to attend.

“No kittens!” she called out after him.

“Buffy!” said Dawn just realising that her sister was home again, “Willow said she’ll teach me some spells!”

“Dawn I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” asked Dawn.

Willow turned to look at her friend.

“First of all, Dawn, you don’t know enough about your own powers to start messing with witchcraft. The combination of your keyness and witchy willow’s teachings it could all go kablooey.”

“I have powers?” asked Dawn excitedly.

“Secondly I think that Willow has some learning of her own to do before she starts instructing others. No offence will but I know just how powerful you are and frankly it’s truly scary. I don’t want my sister to get caught up in something that could hurt her.”

Willow huffed.

“Buffy? Tell me about my powers?” asked Dawn.

“No Dawn you will just have to figure them out yourself, that’s the way it works. Right Willow?”

“I learned witchcraft on my own,” said Willow dejectedly.

Dawn huffed and flew out of the room.

“What do you mean I scare you?” asked Willow.

“You scare me. You have all this power and you are still learning to fine tune and refine your ability to control it. That’s great and all, and I respect the fact that you are progressing so far ahead and all that, but Wills, what happens if you let it take you over? I know you don’t want to think about it. But it could happen. Magic is like a drug to some people. I just don’t want to see that happen to you. You are my best friend, I want it to stay that way.”

“I’ll always be your friend Buffy. I wouldn’t ever do anything to be not your friend. I don’t want to scare you. I like my power, true, cause I can help with the slaying and the world save-age. “

“I know Wills. I like that you want to help. I just want you to be careful, cause, well you saw what happened to Amy? I don’t my best friend to be turned into a rat or worse, because she wasn’t careful.”

Willow smiled. “I get what you are saying.”

“I do trust you,” said Buffy before Willow could say another word. “I just don’t trust the magic, there are always consequences to magic Wills.”

“That’s what Spike said.”

“He’s right.”

Willow sighed.

“I think Tara’s been trying to tell me that I’ve been using magic too much too.”

“I think if she has concerns you should listen to them. She cares about you too. She won’t want to have a rat for girl friend either.”

Willow giggled, the suddenly had gross face.

“Ewwww,” said the witch.

“What?”

“My mind made these pictures, it was nasty.”

Buffy laughed.

“Buffy? I’d really like to be able to find out how Amy got de ratted though.”

“I guess it’s just one of those things, Wills.”
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Buffy lay in bed thinking about her conversation with Willow. It needed follow up, sure, and she hadn’t really had a girls night with Wills since she got plopped into this body. Something else to put on her list.

Buffy rolled over and got out her list.

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it.
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done

Buffy’s hand hesitated over #8. She didn’t know if it should be truly crossed off or not. Moving her hand to the end of the list Buffy added #17. Girls night out with Willow.
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