Chapter 29—No Sensation To Compare

There’s no sensation to compare with this—Pink Floyd, “Learning To Fly”

Spike found her sitting cross-legged on the bed, papers stacked around her. She had been reading through them and sorting them, he thought. Stepping closer to the bed, he then realized that they were in stacks signifying their importance.

One stack contained a passport, a birth certificate, and a green card. Another had a sheaf of parchment, and it looked like college diplomas. A third had odds and ends; baptism certificates, awards, small accomplishments that would be included in a scrapbook of achievements.

“What’s all this, pet?” he asked, climbing onto the bed behind her. He pulled her back into his arms and she melted against him, molding her body to his, bringing a smile unbidden to his face. Not long ago, she would have pushed him away, now she sought comfort in his arms. Quite a change, he thought.

Buffy tilted her head, looking back over her shoulder at him. “Just your life—updated. I asked Giles to get them for us.”

Understanding dawned in his eyes, and he looked deeply into hers. “So, this does what? Makes me real? Was already real, pet.”

“It makes you legal. There’s a big difference.” She leaned against him, her head on his shoulder and her fingers caressing the hairs on his arms around her. “We need to start knocking on doors now, okay? I found Dawn kissing Tara this afternoon.”

“Oh.” He refrained from saying anything further; he knew that this was bothering her, but with their own age difference, he deduced that discretion was the better part of valor. “So, er…what’s the papers for then, pet?”

He had inkling, but he wanted to hear it from her. “This is so you and I can…we can be a real couple now—not that we aren’t already,” she added hastily. “But with these, we can have a legal marriage, with a license, rings and everything.” He heard uncertainty creep into her voice as she said quietly, “I mean, only if you want to.”

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, pet.” He leaned her up, and moved from behind her, kneeling in front of her on the floor next to the bed.

He took her small hand in his, and looked up at her. He was silent for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts and trying to formulate the words for what he so desperately needed to say to her. “We’ve been through a lot of changes lately, you and me. You came back, I’ve lost the chip, and we’ve been picked to help your sister. My head’s still spinning, but even now, the only thing that I can think of is being with you. Loving you.” He pulled the ring from his pocket, and twisted it between his fingers, nerves inexplicably besetting him. “Buffy, I love you with all of my being. Will you consider becoming my wife, my partner, and my mate?” His voice shook with emotion, and he was anything but the cool, confident, snarky master vampire she knew.

Her fingers trembled as she took the ring from an equally shaking hand. She raised teary eyes to meet his. “Spike…yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. Till death or dust we part, I’ll marry you, and be Mrs. The Bloody.” He took the ring and slipped it on her left hand. “Where did you find this?” she asked quietly, staring at the precious stone that now adorned her ring finger on her left hand.

“Had it for a while, pet. About a hundred plus years. I had it made for my sister, for her birthday. She was born in February too.”

She watched him closely from under her lashes as she examined the ring. “It’s beautiful. I didn’t know that you had a sister, Spike.”

“Her name was Johanna. She was four years younger than I was. She died of influenza and consumption, just before my twenty-first birthday.” He tried to keep the sadness out of his voice, but failed miserably.

Buffy raised her head to see the tears glistening on her beloved’s lashes. “Did she ever get to wear it?”

“She never took it off, from the moment I gave it to her. I thought she was buried with it, until I saw it on someone else’s hand. The undertaker had stripped it off her before they put her in the ground and given it to his wife.”

“What did you do?” she asked, thinking about bloodshed if it would have been her sister and her sister's ring.

“I jerked it off of the fat biddy’s hand, and told him if he wanted to live, he would never do such a horrible thing again. He didn’t know that it was one of a kind, otherwise he might not have been so brash.”

She cupped his cheek, and brought his head to her shoulder. “I think it’s gorgeous. And it fits like it was made for me.” She held her hand out in front of her, admiring the beauty of the ring. “I’ll take good care of it, I promise.”

He climbed onto the bed beside her, and they curled around one another. “I know you will.” He rubbed her shoulder to ease the stress of his next words. “So, you caught Dawn and Tara kissing, eh?”

She blushed and buried her face in his chest, embarrassed at the memory. “Yeah. Kinda freaked me out, too. I mean, I know that Dawn is like, a thousand plus years old, but in this timeline, she’s only sixteen—and if you count how long she’s been alive, then it’s only about a year. Do they even know at that age what their preference will be?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Don’t know, pet. I suppose they could. Did you always know that you liked boys?” he asked, arching his scarred brow.

“Well,” she said, her voice uncertain, “I guess. I don’t remember ever feeling inclined to kiss any of my girl friends. Willow seemed like she liked guys, too, before she met Tara.”

“Sometimes you fall in love with the person, not the sex. I mean, would you have ever thought that you would be with me? If there’s an oxymoron, that would be our relationship, don’t you think?”

She giggled. “I don’t even know what an oxymoron is. Is that like a super-moron?” At his incredulous look, she slapped him on the arm. “I do know what it is. Don’t look at me like that. I’m not a total idiot.” When he continued to stare at her, she said, “I looked it up one time.”

He started to laugh, and she started pouting. He took one look at her, and chucked her under the chin with his finger. “I’m not laughing at you, pet. I’m laughing with you. There’s a difference, you know.”

“I know. Somehow, it feels the same, though.” He chuckled again deep in his chest as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She snuggled into the curve of his arm, and sighed deeply. “I thought at first that Willow and Tara would get back together though. How am I supposed to face Will now? I’m sure that she thought the same thing.”

“Buffy, love, you have no control over what Tara does with her life. Just because your sister and Tara seem to have started a thing doesn’t mean that you have anything to do with it. Red can still be your best friend. Remember, she broke up with Glinda, not the other way around.”

She looked up and smiled at him. “You’re right, you know that? Now, enough of the friend talk. How about some us talk for a minute.” She took a deep breath before asking her next question. “When do you want to do this mating marriage thing?”

He looked at the ceiling, thinking hard for a moment, then back down at her face. He still wondered at his luck and what a breathtaking beauty she was, and let his feelings shine in his eyes. “How about—Saturday? That should give you enough time to plan.”

“Saturday!” She sat straight up in the bed and pivoted, sitting on her knees and looking incredulously at him. “Are you kidding? Do you know what goes into planning a wedding?”

He waved his hand. “No problem, pet. Put Anya on the job. She’s a whiz at planning and execution from her years as a vengeance demon. A little blood for me and Angel, a little food for the Scoobies…Giles will give you away, of course, and we have a stereo, so there’ll be music. See? All in hand.”

“Angel?” Her eyes narrowed. “What’s Angel got to do with anything?”

“Well he’s coming, of course. Already asked him.” He looked up at her where she hovered over him, still staring open-mouthed. “What? He’s my sire. I have to invite him. It’s protocol.” When she continued to stare, he said, “we vampires are a pretty regimented lot, darling. It’s like…asking permission to marry. To bring another into the line. Since Angel was my sire, I wanted to avoid the bloodbath if he decided that he wanted to protest.”

“Damn it, Spike, he’s also my ex—you could have said something to me before you went and invited him.” Her eyes narrowed further as realization flooded her, and she started slapping him on the chest. “You invited him already? Before you even asked me? Awful sure of yourself, weren’t you?”

He caught her hands and pulled, and she tumbled onto his chest. “Love, you had already told me that you loved me, wanted to be my mate and partner, and basically already said yes. Was I supposed to be afraid that you’d refuse me?”

She pouted so prettily he could barely resist her, but forced himself to listen to her answer. “Well, yes. At least, worried that I might… Oh, poo.” She let her body go lax and flopped against his chest. “I guess not, baby. I don’t know. It’s demeaning to think that I’m so transparent.”

He chuckled, and it rumbled pleasantly against her nipples. “Now, you’re never transparent, pet. Solid as the day is long, promise.”

A sly look crossed her face, and she said, “I’m solid? Are you sure? Maybe you better feel me to make sure.”

He ran his hands over her back, and said, “Pretty sure you’re solid, pet. Feel pretty solid to me.”

She rolled off of him and stretched on the bed beside him. “I don’t know, Spike. Maybe you better check me all over.”

He gave her his deliciously evil grin as he began skimming his hands over her body.





A/N: Okay, if you read the tag then you know that RL is kicking my ass right now...working more hours, a court case that sickens me, and kids gone wild...but this is close to finished, and you won't be disappointed, I promise...I have not abandoned writing, the BSV, LJ, or anything else, just have to take care of bizness...which I hate...
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