Disclaimer: Joss owns them, not me, sad but true.

Author’s note: Some dialogue taken from ‘Him’ Thanks and Hugs to the most wonderful beta in the world...*drum roll* Bloodytearsoflife. Thanks to everyone who is still reading this fic after such a long time. *huggles*
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Chapter 7: Inappropriate

Buffy glared at her little sister across the dinner table menacingly. She had spent the day in quiet contemplation...err...pouting because she was still stuck in the body of an eight year old. Spike looked between the two sisters, occasionally shaking his head in despair. No one had bothered to consider what this change in Buffy meant for him. Or how Buffy being genuinely evil for a whole day was going to feel like for him.

He’d been sworn to secrecy on pain of no touchy for a week. She was evil, he’d decided.

“Oh would you relax!” shouted Dawn. “It’ll be over when you wake up in the morning! Stop staring at me!”

“No driving lessons for a week,” announced Buffy with a smug smile.

“You can’t do that!” cried Dawn. “You aren’t even the one giving them! That’s so not fair! Spike!”

Spike looked between his mate and his Nibblet before giving up. He took a final sip of blood before setting his glass down with a thud and pushing away from the dining room table. He grabbed his duster that had been hanging from the back of his chair and moved towards the front door.

“Try not to be too late,” Buffy said to him, catching his eye and smiling, even as Dawn began a whole new onslaught of protests.

“You are leaving me here with her? It’s not safe here with her! You saw what she did to my hair! Spike!”

Spike slammed the front door and stalked off into the night.

“Women!” he growled into the dark sky.
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Tara came down from her room to find the two Summers girls engaged in a staring contest.

“Dawn?” asked Tara, “Did you mean to give your stuffed toys a bubble bath for over an hour? I kinda wanted to use the bathtub.”

“What!” shrieked the teen bolting up from her place at the table and thundering up the stairs.

“Spike’s right you know,” observed Tara as she tried to block out Dawn’s caterwauling from upstairs.

“He often is, but enlighten me. How is he right this time?” asked Buffy.

“You are evil.”

Buffy smiled as she listened to Dawn’s wailing from upstairs and Willow trying to console the girl that they would all dry and that maybe they needed to be washed. Tara sat down at the table and looked at her hands for a moment, before speaking.

“I...I was wondering. I know in your future, the one you came from...I know I died, that I’m not supposed to be here. And I wanted to know...No, not know, just wondering...where do I fit in now? What happens when something you’ve changed means the world ends instead of being saved?”

Buffy looked seriously for a moment before giving the white witch a smile, as she reached out and touched her hands. “If the world ends because I made it possible for a good person like you to live out her life, then I think it was worth it.”

The two shared a quiet moment before Dawn came storming down the stairs ruining the mood, her arms holding sodden plush animals.

“You! You nasty evil witch!” declared Dawn.

“You nasty evil wisher!” countered Buffy.

“Ugh! I’m sick of this. Go to bed the both of you!” ordered Tara authoritatively. With a twist of her wrist and a small incantation, Buffy and Dawn made their way upstairs and into their rooms without protest.

Tara was the evil one, Buffy concluded.
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Buffy woke up to the sweet feeling of Spike’s lips on her own. She sighed happily that this meant that she was back to normal.

“Spike?” she asked sleepily.

“Hmmm?” he asked between kisses.

“I’m sorry for being all juvenile yesterday...”

Spike broke off his kisses and looked her in the eye. “Never stop surprising me, you do,” he started. “I might be annoyed with you for acting like the eight year old you looked like yesterday, but then again, I don’t think it would have been out of the ordinary to catch you acting like that when you were lookin’ like my Buffy.”

“Spike, no matter what I look like, eight years old, twenty two years old, one hundred and twenty three years old, I’ll always be your Buffy,” she responded.

From downstairs Buffy heard the door slam, indicating that Dawn had gone to school, and was in a snit.

“At least she isn’t keying everywhere anymore...” sighed Buffy as if it was a small consolation.

“Wonder if it will be any different when the nerd moves in...” speculated Spike. “Dawn’ll have a friend all her own.”

Buffy smiled, as if something occurred to her then laughed. “I keep forgetting that you haven’t met Andrew this time around. You’re gonna love Andrew,” she said sarcastically.

“Wonderful,” he muttered rolling over.
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The day was of the uneventful type. Buffy went to her college classes, nearly falling asleep as the professor droned on about the Constitution. Been there, done that. She loved her normal life, well as normal as she was going to get. It was the normal type days that she really relished, ‘cause she knew that sooner or later she’d have to deal with not so normal stuff.

Buffy arrived home to Spike cooking dinner for her and Dawn and Anya poofing out of nowhere and slapping down a brochure on the island.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow at her friend. “What’s this?“

“This,“ started Anya, opening up the brochure, “is what I’m getting you for your wedding present. This brochure has dozens of the best other dimensional resorts in it. You just have to choose where you want to go for your honeymoon.“

“Oh Anya!“ gushed Buffy, giving her friend a hug.

Spike turned around from the stove, spatula in hand and glared at ‘demon girl.‘ “Why the bloody hell can’t we honeymoon in this dimension?“ he asked.

“Cause, it’s boring?“ countered Anya. “Buffy’s been married how many times? Do you think there isn’t a place on this earth she hasn’t been?“

Spike looked thoughtful for a moment.

“We’ll think about it,“ Buffy said diplomatically, gathering the brochure up into her pile of books. “You wanna stay for dinner? Xander’s coming over later for movie madness. Not that you have to stay when he comes over, just a warning...no, a heads up. Up with the heads. Oh god, I have to stop talking. Long day,“ she said apologetically.

“I’ll stay for the food,“ declared Anya. “Also, Dawn’s all vengeance seeking again. I might get a wish out of her. Maybe it will be about Xander!“

Buffy looked worried. Dawn and vengeance wishes never ended up in the ‘puppies and Christmas’ category.

“Is Dawn even home yet?” asked Buffy.

As if to answer the question, a loud slam of a door emanated from upstairs.

“She is now...” stated Anya.

With a shrug, Buffy turned towards the hallway with her pile of books. She needed to talk to Dawn before Anya got any more wishes out of the teen. Spike watched his girl go up to the bit and Anya’s reluctance at being left down stairs and away from the vengeance, or potential vengeance.

“So what’s for dinner?” Anya asked Spike.
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An hour later Buffy and Dawn still hadn’t come down for dinner. Anya’s constant babbling wasn’t doing anything for his annoyance at the fact that this was one of those things that he couldn’t help the Nibblet with.

Anya had been good for finding out what had happened to Dawn though, that had made her lock herself in the bathroom. It involved a boy. Bloody pimply face wanker no doubt. Made him want to rip off the whelp’s danglies for even looking at Dawn.

“No, she wants him to look at her,” reiterated Anya. “If you remove his quote unquote dangly bits I doubt he’ll look at her again. And then the vengeance will be directed at you. It often is at the parents. So glad I’ll never be a parent. They really get a raw deal, vengeance wise.”

Dinner on hold, Spike left Anya babbling to herself about things she’d done to bad parents over the years. The bathroom door was closed and he could smell the tears Dawn had shed in the course of the hour or so she’d been home.

“Come on, Dawnie. Come out. Dawn, sweetheart, it's not that bad,” soothed Buffy.

The door opened a crack. “How would you even know? R.J.'s never gonna notice me now,” responded Dawn.

“From what you said, I'm sure he already noticed you, I mean with the falling and the...” Dawn shut the bathroom door, “Spirit. Spirit. They said you were spirited, right?”

“Go away!” wailed Dawn.

“Dawn...”

Spike sighed and Buffy looked over at him.

“She’s heartbroken, embarrassed and I if I remember correctly, she’s ripping up my high school cheerleading uniform,” explained Buffy.

“This happened last time too?” asked Spike.

Buffy nodded. “And that means I need you and Xander to work together on something to fix this before it gets worse. ’Cause it’ll get worse.”

“What’ll get worse?” asked Willow. “Why are we standing in the hallway?”

“Is Dawn in the bathroom?” asked Tara.

Buffy turned to see Tara and Willow at her back. How they got past Anya and not gotten the whole story, Buffy would never know.

“Are we having a party in the hallway?” asked Anya perplexed. “Everyone left me in the kitchen. I hate being left in the kitchen. Spike made chicken wings and they are sitting in the oven waiting for people to eat them and it’s making me hungry.”

There was a collective eye roll form the assembled Scoobies. The front door opened and closed beneath them, indicating that either Xander or Giles had arrived as well.

“Do I smell chicken?” came Xander’s voice. “Did the house vamp make spicy chicken wings again?”

Buffy heard a soft growl from Spike. Below them Xander was taking no pains to disguise the fact that he was munching on their delayed dinner.

Chicken wing in hand, Xander scuttled up the stairs and joined the group. Spike gave him an evil look, eyeing the chicken wing that was being sloppily munched on by the carpenter.

“I don't think tonight's gonna be good for videos, Xand,” started Buffy.

A loud sob issued from the bathroom door.

“Right, with the wailing and the crying... Still better than a cozy evening with me, myself and I. Should I order a pizza? Don't teens in a snit like pizza?”

The moment those words were said Dawn nearly ripped the door off its hinges and glared at the male moron. “It is not a snit! I-I finally met him - they guy of my dreams, ok ... and I blew it. R.J. hates me now,” she ended with a wail.

“Teenage angst,” commented Anya softly to Tara.

“My life is over!” continued Dawn pushing past the collective of Scoobies towards her room.

“Remember when she used to have a crush on me?” asked Xander. “I miss the much cuter "me" crush.”

Anya whapped him on the head.

“Ow!” he protested, his hand going up to the injured part of his body.

“You’re a moron Xander, even I know that was inappropriate!” noted Anya.

Buffy followed after her sister urging the others to leave her be for the mean time. With a shrug Spike went down stairs. The whelp was getting to him, and someone had to guard the chicken wings from his greedy fingers.

“Why don’t you guys start dinner without us?“ suggested Buffy her hand poised on the door handle of Dawn’s room.

Reluctantly the girls followed Spike down.

With a deep breath, Buffy entered Dawn’s room. Dawn was lying on the bed, her face buried in the comforter.

“Dawn, I'm sorry that you feel so bad. Ok, but in the morning this won't seem so terrible. You don't even know this R.J. Not really,” said Buffy, sounding so much more like a mom than she had thought she would.

Dawn sat up hurriedly. “I do know him. I know his soul.”

“Really?” asked Buffy surprised. “Dawn, he wasn't even on your radar yesterday.”

Xander sauntered into the room, another chicken wing at his lips. The smacking noises he was making was infuriating, but Buffy held it in. This was not the time or the place.

“He’s a jock, right?“ started Xander. “It's the jacket. It's true,” he added at the girls‘ incredulous look. “Something about the big letter on the chest makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw it all the time in school. And you couldn't just pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play... not that I tried.”

“It isn't a crush. It's love. I love R.J,” declared Dawn defiantly.

“Again, since yesterday. Dawn, it's awfully fast,” continued Buffy.

“What?” exclaimed Dawn, incensed. “You're telling me I don't feel what I feel?”

“No, of course not. I believe that you think it's real. It seems real... to you. And maybe it is real. But Dawn, think about this rationally for a moment. The Hellmouth makes us do some weird crap. I just think that you should take some time and make sure that it is as real as you say it is, before proposing marriage to him. And I think Spike would want to meet him.”

“You mean Spike would want to eat him,” interrupted Xander.

“Not helping, Xander!” spat Buffy.

“You know what? Just go. Leave me alone,” said Dawn. “I’m sick of being analyzed cause I live on a hellmouth. Go away.” Dawn flopped back down on her bed,

Buffy nodded and grabbed Xander’s hand, leading him from the room and down into the dinning room where the rest of the scoobies were eating chicken wings and fries, and salad.

“Ok, this R.J. guy, he has to be stopped,” started Buffy looking at the others.

“’Bout bloody time. Leave it to me love, the wanker’ll be chicken feed when I’m done with him,” Spike said standing up from his place at the table.

With a smile Buffy stepped towards her fiancé. “I don’t think it’s necessary to disembowel him, Spike,” she replied gently. “His jacket, his letterman’s jacket? It’s got a spell on it. It’s got to be taken from him and burnt or something. That’s what’s making Dawn crazy with the R.J. love.”

“Stealing the pillock’s jacket?” sneered Spike. “Let the whelp do it. Waste of your talents, love.”

“I can’t do it, Spike, I’d be affected by the jacket too, it’s got to be a male someone,” continued Buffy.

“Or a gay someone?” asked Willow.

“No, it worked on you too. Made you want to magic him into a girl,” continued Buffy.

Tara nodded and took Willow’s hand. “I...I think Xander should do it.”
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tbc...