He acted nervous, getting on the Council's jet, buckling in. The comfort of the expansive leather chairs, the liquor drinks in tiny bottles, thick beige carpeting on floor and walls, not really belying the smallness, tightness, of this 8-seat metal tube. Willow assumed he'd never flown, or at least believed he'd never flown, but he said nothing about it. Just let Buffy hold his hand through the taxiing and take-off. Willow, sitting opposite, kept her eyes on her book, pretending not to be watching him. Buffy, still white as a lily, grey rings under her eyes, fingers laced with his, laid her head on his shoulder as if there was absolutely nothing wrong, and went right to sleep.


Spike waited ten minutes, to make sure she was really deep. Willow counted them on her watch. Waiting for him to speak to her. She was ready.


"Tell me the truth, Miss Willow. Who's this girl to me?"


Well, maybe not so ready.


Could it really be right, to tell him things Buffy herself could tell, and had obviously chosen not to?


"It's a long story."


"Understand this is a long trip."


"Spike, listen. I don't think it's at all unlikely that your memory will come back. What happened to you earlier—the regression—it's an excellent sign. Part of the process, of your mind putting itself back together. And if you're willing to let me work with you, I could probably help expedite the process."


"With magic."


"There are spells, ancient, very time-tested spells."


"Magic's not a toy. Don't know much but I bloody know that."


He looked and sounded so much like the old Spike, who'd always been suspicious of her, it was kind of spooky. For a second she could believe he'd been shamming the whole time. Then he made a conciliatory gesture. "Sure you're skilled an' all ...."


"Well, it's your choice. I won't force anything on you. My ... my days of doing that are over."


He crooked a brow at her. "You an' me—we're not mates, are we?"


Again she realized how un-ready for this questioning she was. "I'm always positively inclined towards Buffy's friends."


"I just tried to kill her."


"I don't hold you responsible for what happened. Buffy explained it to me. She thought she could jog your memory if you vamped out."


"Think she's daft. Why's she so easy on me?"


"Because what's happening to you isn't your fault. She knows you're not evil. She knows you don't want to hurt her."


"What do you know?"


"Nothing different."


He gave her the sharp eye. Willow forced herself to hold his glance, much as she wanted to look away. The uncanniness of this situation was developing for her, minute by minute, with a deepening appreciation of how strange it must be for Buffy, to be with him, his personality pretty much intact, but everything else gone. The awkwardness was multi-dimensional.


"Tell me what I was."


"You know who you are. You're a vampire. You have a soul. You were an ally of Buffy's, before. A friend."


"Don't think it's that simple. Forget her—tell me 'bout you an' me."


"Uh, there is no you and me."


"Don't mean like that. But I gather you an' I have been around. What's the story there?"


"Well ... you tried to kill me a few times before you got the soul. That was pretty much par for the course."


"Must resent me for it."


"It was a long time ago. And you never really got your mitts on me." Easy to sound brave and nonchalant, now. She still didn't like to think about those times—when he'd held a broken bottle to her face. When he'd pinned her on her bed and the only thing that saved her was the newly-installed chip. A long time ago, but if she focused on those times, the badness flared up.


She'd always hated being so vulnerable.


"Well, I beg your pardon, for what it's worth."


"We're good, Spike. We were good before you died."


He chuckled. "Before I died. Amusing, hearin' about that, my so-called death. Find it hard to credit. Feels like a bit of a rumor."


"It was a death. You never knew it wasn't going to be permanent."


"Guess I was a lucky bloke."


Beside him, Buffy stirred, sighed. A sweet smile played on her lips as she cuddled in closer against his flank.


Willow said, "I can tell you this—I haven't seen her look so happy in many many years. Despite what happened with the uh ... biting."


"Been waitin' that long, has she, for a fellow like me? Don't suppose there's many amnesiacs about as well-hung as I am. An' I take it she's got a yen for the vampires too. Guess it makes sense, vamps an' slayers bein' all Montague an' Capulet."


"Y'know, I'm not going to dignify that with a serious reply." Willow took out her Blackberry and started typing emails. The Council plane lacked wifi, but they'd go out as soon as they landed, which would be time enough for the others to read them before they arrived at the castle.


Spike shifted slowly in his seat, freeing his hand from Buffy's, replacing it with his arm around her. She sighed again, but didn't wake. He laid his lips against her hair.


"How can I cherish her so much when I barely know her? That's the thing. That's what dogs me."


"Clearly you do," Willow said, pretending not to glance up. "Cherish her. Anyone could see that."


"Knowin' she could kill me with her little finger—that's arousin'. There can't be too much said for that." Willow saw his adams apple bob. In a different tone, he said, "She's all that's sweet an' good to me, though she won't answer my questions. Can't imagine bein' without her anymore. But I'm afraid I'll be her death."


The words hung between them. Willow wasn't entirely unafraid of this either, but then she was determined to stick with the tone Buffy had set, back at the house.


"She isn't so easy to kill. And now that you'll be with all of us, we'll help keep things safe until you're well again."


"At the beginnin' she wouldn't have me because she said I'd hate it, when I remembered myself again."


This news left Willow whipsawed; she couldn't think of a quick reply. "Why?"


"That's what I'm askin' you."


"Clearly she changed her mind."


Spike's lip curled. "You're not gonna tell me squat, are you?"


Willow sprang her seatbelt. "Would you like a beer? There's a cooler full right here."