Chapter 5


How did this happen? How had he gone from being the baddest of the bad to being… this?
 
“Would you like more tea, Mrs. Hazelnut?”
 
“Yes, please,” Spike responded.
 
He was drinking make believe tea out of a tiny cup and sitting in a chair that he was sure would collapse at any moment. And to top it off, he was wearing a scarf and a hat with flowers sticking out of it.
 
Camilla reached over and poured him some more tea. “There you go, madam.”
 
“Tell me again why I have to be a woman.”
 
“Because,” she said as if the answer was obvious. “Mr. Bigglesworth’s sister couldn’t make it.”
 
Clearly that logic made perfect sense to her, but Spike didn’t understand it at all.
 
Never in all his 100 and something years did Spike ever think he would be playing tea party with a four year old. It was Buffy’s fault really. She’d asked him if he could stay with Camilla while she ran some errands. Apparently, her usual babysitter had other plans for the day. He assumed leaving the child at home had something to do with the up-and-coming birthday party.
 
“Sasha, would you like some more tea, too?” she asked the doll.
 
Spike assumed the doll had said yes because Camilla proceeded to pour more “tea” into its glass.
 
“Mrs. Hazelnut, Sasha says you look marv-e-lous today. That means pretty,” she clarified.
 
“Well, tell Sasha she looks dashing as well.”
 
She bent over and whispered in the doll’s ear, and then put her ear to its mouth as if it were telling her a secret.
 
“She says thank you very much.”
 
“You’re welcome,” Spike said to the doll.
 
It was ridiculous and he was well aware of that fact. He used to think Drusilla was insane for talking to dolls, and here he was, doing it himself. What had the world come to?
 
“I’m tired of playing tea-party now,” Camilla announced.
 
Spike said a silent thank you to the powers that be.
 
“What should we do now?”
 
“How bout we watch some telly?”
 
“What’s a telly?”
 
“Television… TV.”
 
“Oh.” She thought about it a moment before responding. “No. I have a better idea.”
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“I’m not sure you’re understanding me here. I said I need ten pink, five green, and two blue. Not four blue… two blue. Think you can handle that?”
 
“I’m not a child, Buffy,” her sister complained. “And I know what kind of balloons to get.”
 
“Just making sure. I want everything to be perfect.”
 
“And it will be. Just relax.”
 
“I’m trying, but you know how I am about these birthday parties. I just want her to have a good time and not worry about… stuff.”
 
“You mean like father-type stuff?”
 
The lack of response to the question supported Dawn’s claim.
 
“Buffy, how long has it been since Camilla asked about him? Trust me, she’s not worried about not having a daddy to wish her a happy birthday.”
 
“I know but…”
 
“No buts. Listen, Eric and I will be there at nine tomorrow morning… with balloons. So, do me a favor and get the rest of your stuff, go home, and stop worrying about it.”
 
“Okay. You’re right. I’m just gonna get the cake, and be done with it.”
 
“That a girl.”
 
“Yeah yeah. I’ll talk to you later.”
 
“Alright. Bye, Buffy.”
 
She hung up the phone and looked down at her watch. 3:04. She wondered how Spike and Camilla were doing. She’d left around noon to do some last minute birthday shopping. She still had to pick up Camilla’s present from the UPS store, and find someone who made a cake with the little fat mouse from Cinderella. Dawn had gotten Camilla a copy of the old movie last Christmas and she loved to watch it. And for whatever reason, her favorite character was Gus. The last few places Buffy had stopped had not had a cake like that and it was too late notice to make one. She cursed herself for not placing the order sooner, but Camilla had only decided the day before what she for sure wanted on her cake.
 
Two weeks had passed quickly as work had kept her busy. Her previous experience as a guidance counselor had landed her a job as a secretary at a local elementary school. It wasn’t a very exciting job, but when Camilla started school next year, she would always be there to pick her up on time. Her job mostly consisted of filing, typing, and answering phones, but to her surprise, being out a week or so could really put a person behind.
 
But work wasn’t the only thing on her mind. Besides Camilla and her birthday party, Buffy had been thinking a lot about a certain guy. A certain blonde haired, blue eyed, British, and slightly dead guy. She had only seen him a couple of times since he’d moved here, but having him around was becoming something she wanted to do more and more often.
 
Ever since their talk a few nights back, she’d been a little on edge around him. Asking about her other ex had put Spike in a mood, which she had known it would. Instead of getting pissed about it, though, he’d only shaken his head, as if he’d seen it coming. He’d informed her of everything he knew, which wasn’t much. The last time he’d seen Captain Forehead he’d been battling a Dragon. When Spike had woken up hours… maybe days later… Angel was nowhere to be found.
 
Honestly, Spike assumed his grandsire had been killed in the fight, but he wasn’t going to tell Buffy that. He decided that he may as well give her at least a smidgen of hope that her first love was still alive-ish out there. As much as it pained Spike to think about it, he knew the slayer had and always would love the bastard. It did put one thing to rest, however. Would he and the slayer ever be more than friends? Not as long as there was a chance Peaches could come walking through the door. And he had to face the fact that, unlikely as it was, it could happen. And it probably would, knowing his luck.
 
Buffy knew she’d upset him by asking about Angel, but she had to know. It wasn’t as if she still held on to some false hope that they would be reunited and live happily ever after like she’d once believed, but she still wanted to know if he was alive or dead. After Spike had told her what he knew, she hadn’t brought it up again.
 
Why she felt the need to justify herself to Spike was beyond reason. Sure they were friends, but Buffy felt like she was hurting him by talking about the other vampire, and knowing that filled her with regret. She couldn’t deny that she cared for Spike, and she also couldn’t deny that in those last few days in Sunnydale she’d thought a little about what a future would be like with him. But things were different now. She had a daughter and she couldn’t just jump back into bed with him because he might still have feelings for her. Though the idea was a least a little tempting. Years without sex had taken its toll on her, but she would put her own needs on the backburner to those of her daughter’s. She would not compromise Camilla’s safety just to get her rocks off. That was what had stopped her from sleeping with the few guys she’d gone out with the past five years.
 
But Spike was different. He wasn’t just some guy she’d met at work or at the coffee shop. He was someone from her past that had left a pretty significant mark on her life. This made him more dangerous than any of those other guys. Because having any kind of relationship with Spike would not a simple fling. No, it would be much more complicated than that. She shook her head as if to rid her brain of its current thoughts as she approached her next stop.
 
Buffy opened the door to practically the last grocery store in the city. If they didn’t have what she was looking for, there would be hell to pay.
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“Do you have the red?” Camilla asked.
 
Spike looked through the pile of crayons lying in front of him. When he saw the red one, he picked it up and handed it to her.
 
“Thanks.”
 
“Welcome.”
 
He looked back down at the picture in front of him. It was a bunny. He had colored it orange. Somewhere between eating smores and watching Hannah Montana, she had talked him into coloring a picture for Buffy. He wasn’t a big fan of coloring or TV shows that made no sense, but anything was better than being Mrs. Hazelnut.
 
“I like your bunny, Mr. Spike. I think mommy will like it, too.”
 
“You think so?”
 
She nodded. “She likes them. I don’t like them very much. I think they’re kinda scary.”
 
“You would have gotten along well with Anya.”
 
“Who’s Anya?” she asked curiously.
 
“She was an old friend of your mums.”
 
“Old like you and Grandpa Giles?”
 
He stifled a laugh. “Older.”
 
“Wow.”
 
Thinking of the ex-vengeance demon brought back thoughts of Sunnydale; the place that had in one way or another changed him in almost every way possible. The town where he had learned there was more to life… or unlife… than killing people and watching Passions. Where he’d become more than he ever thought that he could be. He’d made friends and enemies… more enemies… and even had a rather permanent home… be it a crypt or a basement.
 
“Do you think she will like my froggie?”
 
Her question pulled him back from his trip down memory lane. “I think she will love your… froggie.”
 
“Me too. I really hope she does anyway. Cause it’s my birthday tomorrow, and mommy always gives me the bestest present and so I want to give her something, too. She always seems sad on my birthday.”
 
Spike wondered why it was that Buffy could be sad on her daughter’s birthday. It meant the little rascal had made it another year without driving her completely mad. He wondered if it had something to do with the girl’s father. She hadn’t mentioned him at all, and Spike was starting to think something bad had happened to the man.
 
The door handle jiggled and the door to the apartment opened.
 
“Mommy’s home.” Camilla jumped up and ran to the door to greet Buffy as she came in.
 
She was carrying a couple dozen bags and Spike went to help her. Camilla went back in the living room so she wouldn’t cause an accident with the groceries… again. After all the groceries had been placed safely on the counter, Buffy began unpacking them.
 
“Did you two have fun today?” she asked.                                           
 
“Yes we did,” Camilla said running back into the kitchen. “Look what we made for you, mommy.” She held up the two pictures.
 
“Those are great. Did you teach Spike how to color between the lines?” she asked, casting a look at the vampire.
 
“Yes. He was not a very good colorer, but I showed him how to do it properly.” She looked proud of herself. “And we also watched TV and ate snacks, and had a tea party.”
 
At the mention of tea party, Buffy looked back at Spike. He was making a face that made her smile.
 
“I colored you a froggie because I like them and last time we went to the park and saw some, you said you liked them.”
 
“Well, I’m glad you colored me a froggie. Here, let me put it on the refrigerator.” Buffy took the picture from her hand and stuck it beside a photograph of the two of them at the beach.
 
“Do you want to put Mr. Spike’s picture up there, too? It’s a bunny… cept I don’t think he knows what bunnies really look like cause he colored it orange.”
 
“Sure,” Buffy said with a laugh. She took the other picture and placed it on the refrigerator as well.
 
“I think they look great, don’t you, Mr. Spike?”
 
“Just lovely, Bit.”
 
She smiled brightly and then turned and started to leave the room.
 
“I’m gonna go watch cartoons so you two can have grownup time,” she told them causing Buffy to cough.
 
“What?”
 
“Aunty Dawn told me that all grownups need grownup time or else they get grumpy and I don’t want you to be grumpy cause it’s my birthday tomorrow.”
 
“Right.”
 
And with a final grin she left the room.
 
“I’m gonna give Dawn some grownup time when she gets here,” Buffy said.
 
“Now, now, pet. I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.”
 
“I’m sure she had the best of intentions in telling my daughter to let her and Eric be alone for a few hours.”
 
Spike smiled at her.
 
“Though I suppose at least she didn’t tell her what they were really doing.”
 
“That would be an interesting conversation.”
 
“One which I don’t plan on having with her for many many years.”
 
She had begun putting her items in the refrigerator and cabinet. Spike was leaning against the counter.
 
“You get a lot done today?” he asked.
 
“Well, I visited every grocery store in the city until I found one with the kind of cake she wanted. I thought I would never find it.”
 
“Where is it?”
 
“Oh, I left it with Krista. She lives next door. I didn’t want Cam to see it until tomorrow.”
 
He nodded. “Took a while to find, huh?”
 
“Yeah it did. And then lest we forget the, nearly impossible to find, green polka dotted candles. Sometimes I don’t even know where she sees things.”
 
“That’s kids for you.”
 
“Let’s see… what else did I do? I bought ice cream, chips, and drinks. I’m gonna order pizza so I don’t have to worry about that. And then, I almost got hit by a taxi trying to cross the street and get to the UPS store.”
 
“Sounds exciting.”
 
“Very. And I love fighting New York traffic. But it’s worth it to see the look on her face when she sees it all. I got decorations and Dawn’s supposed to be bringing balloons. I hope she likes it.”
 
“She’ll love it.”
 
“She’s invited every kid in her class.”
 
“Ah, yes; a party with twenty little girls and boys running around and eating sugar. I can’t wait,” Spike said sarcastically.
 
“Me neither.”
 
Buffy placed the last of her groceries in their appropriate place before taking a seat on the sofa. Spike followed suit and sat down beside her.
 
“By the way, thanks for watching her today.”
 
“Anytime. Besides, I had fun.”
 
“Playing tea party?”
 
“Okay, so some of it wasn’t so great.”
 
“Did she make you wear the hat?”
 
Spike bowed his head in mock shame, and Buffy laughed.
 
“Don’t worry. She does that to everyone. She made Giles wear heels once.”
 
“Sorry I missed that.”
 
“I have pictures.”
 
Silence then overtook the couple, both lost in separate thoughts about Giles in heels.
 
“Suppose I should get going,” Spike said after a moment.
 
“Why? I mean… you don’t have to go. Unless you have things you need to do.”
 
He raised an eyebrow at her. Was she hinting that she wanted him to stay? And if she was… why? He’d assumed after their talk about Tall, Dark and Broody that she didn’t want to talk any more about the past. So what then? Did she want to, what was the word? Hang?
 
“I suppose I could stick around for a little while.”
 
“Great.”
 
Silence reigned once again, and Buffy tapped her fingers on her legs.
 
“So… how’s your place doing?” she asked him.
 
Spike looked at her strangely. “It’s fine. Same as last you saw it.”
 
She nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I also recall not staying there long because I felt claustrophobic.”
 
“Ha, bloody, ha. I happen to think it is a decent sized apartment.”
 
Buffy laughed. “You know I’m just giving you a hard time, right? I’m glad you live close by. Now you can come over and baby-sit anytime.”
 
“I don’t see why either of you want me around. I’m not exactly a good influence.”
 
“We have our reasons.”
 
He gave her a questioning look. “Why’s that then?”
 
Buffy stared straight ahead as she tried to think of an answer to offer him. Why indeed? Her earlier inner contemplations rushed back into her mind. Why had she really wanted him to come to New York? Why did she enjoy his company so much? Why did she trust him with her daughter? A lot of time had passed since they had lived together in Sunnydale, yet it seemed like it was only yesterday that she was sneaking over to his crypt to patrol and do… other things. ‘Bad Buffy,’ she inwardly scolded herself for once again thinking about the vampire next to her in a more than friendly way.
 
“Camilla really likes you,” she told him.
 
“Do you like me?”
 
His question surprised her but she managed a quick response. “Sometimes.”
 
This caused a slight smile to appear on both of their faces.
 
“But you like having a babysitter.”
 
“And having someone to talk to who doesn’t think Barney’s a real dinosaur.”
 
“He’s not?”
 
Buffy laughed lightly at his joke and then looked at him sincerely. “I’m glad you were the one to find her.”
 
“Me too.”
 
Buffy couldn’t help but wonder if fate had sent him to her; sent him to help her, and ease her load. Maybe they were meant to run into each other in Los Angeles, and maybe he was supposed to come back to New York with her and her daughter. Maybe…
 
“I’ve missed you, Slayer,” he said after a moment.
 
“I missed you, too,” she replied honestly, not having realized until that exact moment how true that was.
 
He looked over at her then, and his blue eyes seemed to bore into her green ones. Despite her internal ramblings and rational thinking process, she couldn’t help but feel an urge, if ever so small, to move closer to him… touch him… kiss him. She managed to resist doing all of those things, but still couldn’t look away from him. They both seemed frozen in place.
 
“NO!”
 
At the sound of the scream they practically jumped back from each other, though they were still sitting a foot apart on the couch. A loud crash was heard from Camilla’s room.
 
“Cam,” Buffy said loudly, looking away from Spike.
 
“I’m okay,” she yelled back. “But I don’t think Barbie’s gonna make it.”
 
Buffy shook her head. She didn’t even want to know what kind of a mess Camilla had made now.
 
“I should really get going,” Spike said suddenly. “I forgot I need to run to the butcher shop today before they close.”
 
He didn’t have to elaborate any further. She knew exactly what he needed from the butcher shop. Sometimes it was so easy to forget he was a vampire.
 
“Alright,” she replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow, at the birthday party.”
 
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
 
She closed the door behind him as he left and leaned against it, closing her eyes. She had to stop this insanity. Wanting Spike around to be her friend was one thing, but thinking about kissing him was another. They’d only been reunited for a few weeks. It was too soon to be contemplating a relationship. After their talk about his ventures with Angel, she realized that Spike was right to have stayed away. Being with normal guys for a change had been good for her. And even though Martin had broken her heart, if it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t have Camilla. But now that she did have a family, and she had tried normal guy dating…
 
Buffy made a face when she heard another crash from her daughter’s bedroom. Sighing, she headed in that direction. She would worry about her relationship with Spike tomorrow. Right now she had to finish getting ready for the party.
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