AN: This was meant to be a longer chapter, but I thought we all needed a little breather from all the angst...Hope you enjoy...
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Giles knew that Lois Kingsbury would not let them stay any longer. They’d burned their bridges here. Bloody Hell, we burned down Rome! The Slayer had killed the coven’s most powerful witch and the source of the Slayer’s strength was now loose, because he had freed it. It would be foolish to expect anything less than banishment.
He hoped that would be all that they would have to endure. If there was anything else, then he knew where to lay the blame.
It belonged to him, and him alone.
The shock still hung in the air as he stepped out into the main lounge of the house. The sounds were heartbreakingly familiar.
There were tears; and the sight of Dawn clutching at Panya in her grief as they watched the light slowly devour the night as viciously as it did his hope, tore at him.
He walked over to the window, dreading the light, and that he had been such a fool, and stood beside Dawn and Panya. He sighed, and he felt Dawn lean close to him as he wondered how to put the genie back into the bottle he’d uncorked, without hurting his Slayer.
As he held her, the sound of Dawn’s tears brought a painful memory back, and he realized how alike they were; how strong the sense of guilt could be, the sense of duty to family.
He wanted more time with his family. He wanted to know William. He had trusted him with his life, and Buffy’s too.
May 27, 2001- SUNNYDALE-
If he weren’t so numbed by the events of the past few days, he would have been amazed, things like this were supposed to be impossible. That’s what all his training, all his education, told him. The Council…but, he remembered something his Grandmother Rachel had tried to tell him.
Staring into Spike’s unseeing eyes, he wondered if it was true. * No. No, it can’t be…*
“Dawn,” Giles said softly, trying hard not to let the girl know how grief-stricken he was, himself, “I’m sure he’ll be all right,” he looked into Spike’s eyes, listened to his mumblings as he rocked himself, absently, on the crypt floor, and knew he was lying. It couldn’t be helped; the girl needed some stability now, not chaos, “Just give him some time.”
Dawn’s eyes were a picture of devastation as she looked at him, “But, I’ve never seen him like this. What’s he saying?” Dawn sniffed.
“I don’t know,” he said, not really wanting to pay attention to the mantra that had been constant from the moment they walked into the crypt. The whispering was so low that it was almost beyond the range of human hearing. He heard, though, and understood, unwanted as it was.
Understanding made it real. And it couldn’t be real. He couldn’t have failed her.
“…My fault…my fault.” Spike whispered, “Wasn’t fast enough. Trusted me…wasn’t fast enough…Gone…Nothing…My fault…I should have protected her…should have been faster. She’s dead…should’ve been faster…so stupid…so…sorry.”
He understood, because the same thoughts were plaguing him, and would until the day he died.
“If he…? Who would take care of me?” Dawn asked.
The question cut at his heart. Did she not trust him to take care of her? And, she did have a father, although only God knew where he was now. * Blasted twit didn’t even have the decency to show his face at Joyce’s funeral. He can fall off the face of the earth for all I care…* “I’ll take care of you, Dawn.”
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Had he been fast enough? Was he strong enough? Was what he saw- was Spike really dust, or was it an illusion?
“Where is she?” Dawn asked, her voice small with worry and grief. She looked out the window at the lightening sky and said, “It’s almost daylight. She’s been out all night.”
“Dawn, we’ve all seen…” he sighed; some part of him hoped it wasn’t true, but as the morning approached, the hope was fading. His heart was heavy and the sorrow was beginning to show. The tremor in his voice, and the pain in his throat made it difficult to speak of what they had all seen; he so hoped it wasn’t true, “…horrible things. Buffy may need time to…”
“You don’t think she would let some vamp get her, do you, because of what happened to Spike…?” Dawn looked at him in shock, and her eyes widened as though she couldn’t believe what she’d just said, her hand went to cover her mouth and she sobbed softly into it, “Oh, God, Spike!”
With tears forming in her eyes, Dawn turned her face back to the window, and they watched the coming day in silence.
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The breeze blew cold over her face, and she shivered. Frowning, she closed her eyes tight, wanting to keep the moonlight that she could still smell on her skin.
She didn’t want to wake. She wanted the moonlight, wanted to make it a part of her. She wanted to apologize. She didn’t want the daylight to intrude, she wanted to keep the dream, but the day always came.
It always came. And the things that belonged to the night disappeared into the light.
Buffy’s heart leapt for joy. His scent was still in the air around her, it was clinging to her skin. She had beaten it, the daylight. The night could stay wrapped around her, and hold her tight.
If she stayed asleep, it could all be a dream, and she wouldn’t have killed him.
But, the coolness of his touch, of his special brand of moonlight infused kisses, had never been this cruel and biting, even when she wanted it to be…
She opened her eyes and everything disappeared. The day had come and the magic was gone. And so was he.
She sat up. Why did he seem so close? Was she losing her mind? She’d seen him dust, right in front of her.
Althenea…her fist came down, the stake came down into his back, and he fell forward. His eyes…the shock, I’ll never forget it. I can remember…screaming…reaching out…my hands wrapped around him. His coat…I felt the leather crumble in my hands…
Buffy put her hand out in front of her, as if to grab the air, and her breath caught in her throat. She stared in wonder at her arm. Now she understood why his scent was so heavy around her…
Her arm was surrounded by leather. She was wearing his coat.
It wasn’t a dream. It was real.
She was shaking so much that she didn’t know how she was able to stand. Her breath came in shocked, shallow, gasps as she raced across the beach, “Giles!” Buffy screamed as the hope and joy she thought she had lost carried her onward, tears of happiness and faith streaming down her face.
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