D'Hoffryn's Circus by Arlais Fale

Chapter #1 - Prologue

D’Hoffryn’s Circus By Arlais Fale Disclaimer: Joss and I have a deal going on. I use his characters in my sadistic pleasures and I don’t tell the world about his nose picking habits. I honestly worship the man, I do. But seriously… keep the finger out of your nose dude. Note from the author: This started out as a warm up for a high school paper. This ended up as a kickass idea for a fanfiction. I got it five years ago when taking my sister to the circus and have been refining the idea ever since. Oh, and I just want to add, that this was NOT taken from X-Men’s House of M or Alias season… three? Although I have seen them since I began writing, nothing has been (consciously) influenced. Rating: It’s going to be R for language and adult content. But in some select parts and for certain stories, it’s going to be NC for the racy scene later on and other stuff... that is not so nice. And then there is just general brutality to the characters. * * * * * * * The crowd was silent as a single beam of light shone down from the ceiling and onto the floor. There was nothing but floating particles that responded and reflected against the bright whiteness. A few coughs echoed through the tents but each sound was greeted with angry glances. Soon everything was quiet except for the rustle of changing positions from the uncomfortable spectators. But through the silence, footsteps came like shots in the dark. Some would say that the steps were magically enhanced from witches in the rafters who would cast spells on the performers. Some would say it was from technology; a machine as big as a fly that intensifies sounds, but a few knowledgeable souls would know the truth. It was the dead quiet of a thousand suppressed breaths and slowed heartbeats that would cause one’s footsteps to bounce off of their bodies and echo in a room made of canvas. The footsteps stepped into the light. The crowd saw he was someone who had seen too much danger in his life and he looked at the faces of those who had come to see his performance. He turned slowly with arms stretched, showing he was unarmed and willing to tell the truth. His coat was black velvet and soaked up the light with only the barest gleam to show that it was real. A white shirt shimmered like a diamond while his hair moved with his every motion. When he returned to his original position, it seemed like a lifetime had passed. “Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are faint of heart leave at once.” He began, his voice with a crisp English accent, intelligent, full of knowledge and books. Yet there was no pride or haughtiness, only the emotion of regret. No one moved from their seat, it was as if the entire tent dared themselves to listen to this man’s tale, even if there was danger. “I am here to tell you a story unlike any other you have heard before. A story cannot be told without weeping. I shudder to even think of this tale. But I must. For it holds a history, a lesson, and a moral for all those who convince themselves they are brave enough to listen. And those who do will become wiser men for it. And even more horrifying, this is the entire truth as I saw with my very own eyes.” There were some who shifted in their seats and others who clutched their purses and arms of their lovers and loves. And there were some who even convinced their partners that they could not endure it. They lifted themselves from their seats and prepared to reclaim their money but as any good storyteller would know, they could not leave. The speaker’s face changed and slowly, he spun again, inviting every spectator to come into his world and listen to his promise of a most enticing tale. “I will tell you a story of love and hate and tragedy. There are no survivors who have not been sacrificed. There are no players who won. And yet, the greatest love bloomed from the most sacred of humans and the most unholy of creatures.” An excited look overcame his face. And as he crouched down into a frightening pose, he shifted from left and right, circling the spectators, concocting something truly terrible. Some shifted their gaze, others watched with horrified stares. All listened to his words, helpless to do more or less. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” he screamed, “I present the Love Story of Buffy and Spike! Slayer and Vampire!”

Chapter #2 - Chapter One

* * * * * * * In the year 2038, the world as we know it, died. A popular American journalist by the name of Barbra O’Connell filmed a television broadcast that exposed humans to the Demon world. She was doing the live coverage of the last white tiger giving birth to her cubs, but instead, stumbled onto a cave of demons. The world witnessed her brutal death as she was eaten by four Kilthros, creatures of particular ugliness. They fed on her nerves and cartilage while she screamed for aid. Although the Government claimed it was a fluke, the rush for information on the supernatural caused incredible surges in magic. Numerous deaths occurred in the next two years due to misinformation and curiosity. At the end of the third year, news papers were so filled with fantastic obituaries that the United States could deny it no longer. They were the first country to acknowledge magic, and under the conservative rule, they banished it forever. The fear instilled in the country was equivalent to the McCarthy Era of accusations and convictions. Books were burned and people died unjustly. The Wicca and harmless demons fled to South America, and the non magical went north. Magic soon grouped into demonic areas of activation, leaving America dry as a desert. Europe soon followed in America’s footsteps. The Demons demanded justice, and with our powerlessness, the world sacrificed Africa to them. It was the greatest migration ever seen, as creatures flew, swam, and dove into Africa for their share of the glory. At first, they were satisfied. However, in the year 2069, they invaded the Middle East, and then Asia. America sent boats to Europe and ferried as many humans as they could. By November of '72, the demons were in western Russia. And in February of '73, America bombed Russia, closest to the Bering Strait. The eighty mile width soon expanded to two hundred and the Americas closed their borders. The monsters that remained on American soil were killed or killed others. Witches were imprisoned. And people tried to forget. At least until 2144. A demon politely knocked through the barrier with thirty vampires by his side. The conservatives met with him because he promised that he would keep every demon from our border and the death of every one within. Only give him California. And we did. He placed the demons in a small town, where they were kept wild but contained. The townspeople wore crosses and surrounded themselves with graveyards and big families. The demon was D’Hoffryn. The monsters were for his Circus. * * * * * * * “Ten minutes!” “Fuck!” “Can someone hand me the eyeliner?” “Shit, where is my lipstick?” “Has anybody seen my shirt?” “Have you checked in the back?” “They said it was here.” “But you do know that she washed it the other day.” “Lipstick people, lipstick!” “Why can’t you use mine?” “I would look like an albino on stage!” “I found my shirt!” “W-where are my shoes? Has anyone seen my shoes?” “Hey, have you seen my—” “NO!” “Never mind, I found it.” “Your shoes are in the closet.” “Oh, n-never mind then.” “My favorite god damn lipstick.” “My hair looks like shit.” “Why don’t you go in there?” “And my vest is wrinkled.” “Anya and Xander are...” “What?” “Copulating.” “Eww! On my lipstick?” “No, on my shoes.” “Tell them five minutes until the show starts!” “Anya, quit giving Xander—” “No details please!” “How do you know that a-anyways?” “Well, when Xander and I—” “Don’t answer!” “And Tara’s turning red.” “Sorry honey. How can I make it up to you?” “By finding my shoes.” “No dice. Lipstick. Lipstick... Hello honey.” “Ok, you two need a closet.” “So says the people who just got out.” “Xander, your eyes only glaze over for me. Not for the lesbian lovers.” “Sorry, Ahn.” “Sorry.” “Have you seen my... are you using my lipstick?” “You mean this?” “Yes! Where did you find it?” “In a shoe.” “Jonathon! What are you doing in here?” “Listen up everyone! Willow, Tara, you are on in two. Xander, Anya, you need to be ready in five, and for god’s sake, can you stop kissing long enough to not smear your makeup? Rhetorical question, Anya. Is that a new bra? Just kidding! Don’t hit me! You have thirty minutes, when you are ready, come and find me. Buffy, the vamps are at it again. You need to get them calm and ready in twenty minutes to be on stage in forty. Everybody good? No? Too bad.” The cue was Jonathon’s ‘bad’. The moment the word was uttered, then the real race began. Tara found her shoe. Willow cherished her ‘passion rose’ lipstick and Xander wiped off the lip gloss while Anya put some on. But out of all the people, none moved faster than Buffy, who flew out of the room and into the hallway; where bustling people found that it was less painful to throw themselves against the wall than to be thrown by someone else. She ran as fast as she could, feeling her heart beat faster with every step. Down the stairs, from passage to passage, and then finally where the trailers resided, behind the public. Buffy could faintly hear the banging sounds of bodies being thrown against steel bars, and the sound only made her run faster. When she reached the flap to the final secluded tent, she dived in only to see a body being tossed across the cage. Buffy didn’t have a moment to consider what she was doing. She pressed her hand against the handprint sensory lock. It seemed like ten years before the lock clicked, she could almost feel the effects of their punches and she could definitely smell the blood. But the moment it unlocked, she ran into the middle of the brawl. A normal person would have died in that cage but Buffy had the ability to tuck, roll, smack her head and receive something like a mild concussion. Buffy shook her bruised mind, and then propelled herself off the walls of the cage. She smacked her body on the attacker’s and threw the two onto the floor, away from the corner. Buffy then wedged herself between the two and with a strength that belied her size; she pushed the two attackers to opposite sides of the cage. Luck had it that both the boys knocked their heads on the bars. But Buffy’s happiness dissipated the moment she saw her folly. The cage door automatically closes, but it let one of the four vampires through. Drusilla. “Shit.” Buffy opened the cage door again, but not before she tied and gagged the three remaining vampires. One of whom objected adamantly that she had nothing to do with the fight. Somehow, Buffy didn’t believe her. Buffy found a speaker, which got her in immediate touch with Jonathon. She looked at her watch, swore again, but knew in a strange warped way, that this was good. His speaker would be open and he would be searching for her. “Jonathon.” “Buffy, where are you? Giles is giving me angry looks whenever he’s out of the spotlight. What is going on?” “Dru got out.” “Oh god.” “Yeah.” “What am I going to do? You are on now! And Giles will kill me! With a gun! Or a sword! Oh my god, he’s going to gut me!” Buffy heard his breathing increase and now he was panting. She swore in her mind, not at him. He was going to hyperventilate if she didn’t do something quickly. And if Jonathon went out, then all was doomed. No one could handle the stage like he could. Then again, no one could handle overstressed like he could either. “Jonathon. Listen to my voice, and take a deep breath.” “Huuuuuuuuuuh! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” “Good, who do you have on now?” “Giles, then you are supposed to go on. After you are the witches, doing the stories act.” Buffy could hear his inhaler going in and out. “Tell Giles to do the extension, the hero epilogue. That will give Tara and Willow some time to prepare for their act. Then put Anya out, if I am still not back yet.” “She isn’t going to like that. She hates being last.” “Tell her to deal. I need to find Drusilla and keep your airways open.” “Do you need backup? I could send Xander.” “I need for Xander to do his comedy routine while I cover my bruises. Especially if she gives me real trouble.” “Do you think she will?” “Always does.” Buffy let go of the button and heard the crackle of cheering in the background, then silence. Jonathon would take care of anything. He was deathly loyal to her but his loyalty was often overcome by his fear of the things that go bump in the night. She turned around to be faced with three gagged vampires. She reached behind the speaker and opened a compartment box, filled with first aid, tranquilizer, guns, and handcuffs. Buffy scoffed at the guns, but took the handcuffs and tranquilizer. Great, she thought. I will have to get them cleaned up before I get them out on stage. * * * * * * It scared her more that she couldn’t find Dru. If the vampire had been surrounded by twenty dead children and fifty mutilated adults, she wouldn’t have been surprised. But there were no children, no adults, and no screams, which meant she didn’t know where the girl was or what she was doing. There was nothing but happy faces running around the night field. Buffy’s only advantage was that Drusilla was dressed in nineteenth century clothing verses the modern rustic wear. The disadvantages were too numerous to count. When Buffy got to the center of the circus, she closed her eyes and felt all the things going on around her. She felt the dogs barking, the children laughing, the food cooking, and the demons running around her. She concentrated on the demons in masses, blocking out all the rest. But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t separate one demon from a human. She just felt them, as a mass, all in concentrated areas behind her...until one was right on top of her. Preparing to strike. Buffy looked up and her arm went out. Block. “Dru. Come with me.” “Nasty little slayer,” she hissed and took her hand away from Buffy’s arm. She started to wave back and forth like a predatory snake. Slowly, she circled the girl, waiting for the right moment to attack, “Always spoiling Miss Edith’s fun.” “Dru—” “Bad little blondie.” She shook her head, “Sure, I didn’t try to compromise but you are a vamp. Who are you going to tell?” The girls circled and circled one another. Then in one swift movement, Buffy ran as fast as she could, towards Drusilla. The vampire moved to the side but Buffy was prepared, she jumped forward, grabbed Dru’s arm and pulled both of them into an empty tent. While they rolled to a stop on top of an empty stage, Buffy cuffed Dru to her own body. She was cut up from the vampire’s nails scratching deep welts into her arm, but before any innocents could peep in and see what the commotion was about, Buffy hit a trap door, fell through the unstable ground, and both fell into the sewage. A loud splash and Buffy fell on top of the vampire. Dru tried to get to Buffy’s throat but Buffy pushed her hard into the water. She reached into her front pocket and grabbed one of the darts. The girl held the dart like a knife but before she could slam into any piece of the vampire’s skin, Dru threw Buffy off her back and into a wall, dislocating her shoulder and scraping her back. But worst of all; the vampire broke the tip of the needle. “Fuck it.” Buffy slammed into her and scraped the broken tip against Drusilla’s skin while ejecting the tranquilizer. The vampire had a gash all down her arm, and was dripping blood into the sewage water, but she calmed down slowly, and moved sluggishly, swaying back and forth. By the time Buffy got the second needle out, Drusilla was preaching the future and moving to the stars. “Pretty freedom... standing still, not moving at all... freedom is not freedom... and the light dancing all around and around and around until they all fall down.” She looked up at Buffy with a nasty grin on her face, “nasty demons keeping you away from him like this... Your fault. You lied... your lover died…” “And you are fried.” “And the necklace…” She took the needle from the vampire’s arm and watched as she slowly sunk into her dream world. “You’re not supposed to be here.” Drusilla splashed the walls with sewer water when she fell. “Just the way I like my vampires. Drugged and unconscious.” Buffy looked near the staircase and collapsed on the speaker. “Jonathon, are you there?” “Are you OK?” “Irrelevant. How long do I have?” “Giles did the skit. Everyone loved it, Willow and Tara are almost done, while Anya has twenty more minutes. If you need, Xander can go next then you.” “Fantastic.” “Did you get her?” “But good.” * * * * * * *

Chapter #3 - Chapter Two

* * * * * * * Chapter Two * * * * * * * If Buffy had been smart, she would have called for backup. Not with conscious Drusilla but with unconscious Drusilla because Drusilla in every form was extremely heavy when your arm is out of socket. Buffy needed a vertical wall to throw herself against to put her arm back, which was not provided in a sewer. The walls were round and Drusilla was still very heavy. She was taking the very stinky route to avoid questioning eyes and nosy glances. Buffy felt that dragging a dead bleeding body through the middle of a circus would arouse some suspicion if not trauma. So she half floated half dragged the vampire back to the cages. Undoing the handcuffs provided some difficulty, but once mastered, Buffy realized that it was not the difficult part. She flung Drusilla’s body over her shoulder and with one arm, Buffy climbed up the steps to where the other vampires play. All three vamps were out of their ropes. The blond girl wasn’t surprised. They weren’t magical ropes and they would have used pure strength in getting out. But it would make this more difficult. Buffy wasn’t in the mood to fend off all three vampires. “Tsk tsk tsk. Drusilla seems to have given our little slayer a little trouble.” The oldest vampire said while pacing across the entrance of the cage. She was heartbreakingly beautiful and the complete opposite of the mad vampire Buffy had on the floor. Darla was tall, blond, statuesque, cruel, and ruthless. Out of all the four vampires, she hated Buffy the most. She had sired Angelus us, the dark haired handsome vampire, who liked to flirt around with Drusilla, much to the disgust of his sire. He was everything Darla was and more. He had the pleasure seeking drive that his sire did not possess yet he had none of her focus. The two made a deadly team. Spike and Drusilla were hardly the same pair that their sires and grandsires were. Angelus sired Drusilla after torturing her and making her insane. She now spoke of nothing except drabble. Buffy suspected she was living in a completely different world, in another time even. Spike was sired from Drusilla’s boredom and had nothing his grand and great-grand-sire possessed. He was intensely possessive of Drusilla, especially when she flirted with Angelus, and yearned to prove himself constantly. But where Darla had focus on the big picture, he had none. Spike only thought of the now, today, and nothing of tomorrow. He was immensely cocky and pretty in a lean, blond way versus Angelus' dark and muscular one. She admired them like she admired a rabid purebred dog, the amazement that they looked as good as they did while foam dripped from their mouths. Buffy thought of how she could possibly get the three of them to back away from the entry of the door. Darla was pacing in front of the entry, Spike was aching to get his hands on his lover, and Angelus was watching calmly from the back of the cage with his eyes half lidded, but fully conscious. Buffy watched them pace back and forth in the cage. Then she pressed her hand against the lock. As the computer confirmed her prints, she took the two empty tranquilizer darts and threw them. The jagged one hit Darla in the shin while the other hit Spike in the neck. Both paused for only half a second, giving Buffy the time to throw Drusilla into the cage and slam the door shut. Darla ripped the dart out of her shin, and then went to where Drusilla lay. She looked down at the vampire, in Spike’s arms. She sniffed, then sat down on her cot and began to re-read The Historian. Buffy walked over to the speaker. “Jonathon. How much time do I have?” “Willow! Remember when Darth Vader tried to tempt Luke to the dark side by using Leia and Han as bait? If you don’t, it was the last thirty minutes of The Empire Strikes Back.” His voice was shaky and there was loud talking in the background. It only meant one thing; that Ben Wilkinson was there. Buffy shuddered. Everyone knew how much she disliked him, so everyone constantly covered for her by muffling his voice and calling her whoever was out at the moment. “Right Jonathon. I will be there in thirty. And can we keep this between the two of us?” “Sure Willow! Any time.” “Thanks.” “She needs a bandage.” Buffy heard from behind her. She turned around and took a look at the cage. Spike was at the edge, standing completely still. “Give me gauze you bleeding bitch.” “Your bitch is bleeding more than I am.” Buffy snapped and threw him the roll of gauze, “And doesn’t your kind get turned on by this sort of thing?” “No more than your boyfriend, Milkingcow.” “Ben Wilkinson isn’t a masochist, nor is he a vampire, nor is he my boyfriend.” She replied. She reached forward and slammed her body against the wall. With a sickening pop, she felt her arm slide back into the socket. She suddenly felt very tired. “When you get done with the gauze, can you hang yourself?” “My pleasure, Slayer.” It was hard to look aloof when you are bleeding and have just come from the sewers. It was even harder when you knew you were going back into the sewers to avoid the wealthiest yuppie you have ever known. Yup. Her day stunk as much as she was going to. * * * * * * Buffy arose from the sewer system to confront Jonathon. She had confirmed with him before she got to fresh air, that Ben Wilkinson was bashing Giles for his ‘poor’ performance tonight. This just reminded the girl of how much she loved Giles. Jonathon’s room was the equivalent of a secretary’s office. Every line needed to be switched to another line if there needed to be any person to person contact. He was the hub of everything, and this was a concept that only he could understand. So when Jonathon said that he would do anything for Buffy, it was quite a statement. Not that he would really do anything for her. There were limits. Her stinkiness apparently bordered one of them. “Buffy, you really need to take a shower.” “In a moment, what is going on?” He put on his earphones and started to switch wires around... listening into different conversations. Buffy also liked the fact that Jonathon knew just about everything and would tell her everything he knew. “Anya is on stage. Spike is talking to Drusilla. Apparently he is quite put out with you. Be careful today.” “He’ll get over it.” “Wilkinson is with Giles. Giles is trying to make excuses for your absence and Ben is chewing him out.” “I’ll remember to cook him dinner.” A beat. “You don’t cook.” “Maybe I’ll take him out to breakfast.” “Good idea.” Silence. “Ummm. Hold on a second.” Silence for a moment, then Buffy unplugged Jonathon’s wire. “Just because Tara and Willow forget that there is a speaker in the dressing room, does not mean that you get to listen to their conversations.” Jonathon blushed five shades of red. “And don’t you dare think of jerking off.” * * * * * * * * * “Ever since the entrapment of all demons, there are few organizations that show you their faces. We are one of the rarest. You have seen Polgaras, Fyarls, Gnarls, Tsuvolti, and Hellhounds, Pixies, Trolls, but you have never seen a demon so devious and close to our kind. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the three of the most vicious vampires in history, and the only woman in the world who can control them; Darla, Angelus, Spike, and Buffy their Vampire Slayer!” The light disappeared, then shone again on a tiny blond. Her hair was pulled back in a slick ponytail, her outfit was a black jeans that hung to her body like a possessive boyfriend and a black long sleeve tee-shirt. In one hand, a whip, the other held a knife, on her belt, there were vials of blood. She was ready. Buffy slowly turned to show her accessories and then the lights hit a cage, descending ropelessly. Buffy jumped and back flipped onto the top of the cage and the crowd watched as the vampires snarled menacingly at the people around them. Then, in an unexpected move, the walls of the cage collapsed while the top remained stable. The mob gasped and screamed, holding onto their friends and lovers. The vampires reached the edge of the ring, and growled at the spectators in their vampiric faces. There were some who were skeptical about the lack of the fourth vampire; those who looked in their brochures would see that the second female was missing. But very few were that skeptical, because most were in front of the beast, with their growls and teeth. The three walls of the cage closed up while the excluding wall rose above them all, creating an apparent opening. Buffy leapt down from the ceiling in a cat like move. She cracked her whip and the vampires came towards her slowly. Darla and Angelus came in a pair, hoping to steal some blood from her belt, or even better, from herself. But unusually, Spike stalked forward slowly and cautiously, unlike his normal reckless abandon. Angelus moved first, kicking and baring his teeth. They fought for minutes, neither letting the other gain an upper hand. The male vampire grabbed a few vials of blood and each time, the masses of surrounding people booed and hissed whenever he drank it with glee. It was a game where the house always won. The rule today was to attack one at a time, a rule set down before they went out on stage by their trainer and feeder. Buffy could fight them off and escape with her life but she knew that today, if they fought better than normal, she would die. Willow was in charge of their movements and kept Darla and Spike in an invisible outer ring. Tara ruled over the wireless special effects, and would back up Willow if she was too tired. Buffy circled, then in a blur she kicked twice and threw Angelus into the cage. Tara blocked it so he couldn’t get out. Buffy felt her energy seeping away. She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a flask. Taped to the cap were two adrenaline pills. She downed the pills with a pick pocket’s practice while the spectators only saw her drink a clear liquid from her flask. No one saw her intake, but the ringmaster in the background suspected what she had done. Darla was a completely different fighter. She moved with stealth and cunning, circling twice before making her final move. Out of all the demons, she tended to be the hardest to battle. Angelus depended on brute strength and Drusilla would sway, but Darla had speed and grace. Buffy cracked her whip a few times, and Darla moved cautiously away. Then she ran and hit Buffy in her wounded arm, grabbing a few vials. Buffy cried out and her knife hit the ground but not before her whip lashed out and grabbed Darla by the waist. Buffy then rolled and as her whip wrapped around her, Darla inched closer and closer until they were nose to nose. Darla lunged for Buffy but the blond in black had the upper hand. A burst of adrenaline and Buffy propelled the vampire into the cage with her mate, which left only one. Spike. Spike was unpredictable. Sometimes he would be the easiest out of the four, hitting and kicking without any passion. But other times, he would leave Buffy breathless. Always, he had a smirk on his face and a wicked gleam in his eye. However, today, something was different. He didn’t seem to be in his normal frame of mind, nor was he gleaming. Spike looked like he was out for vengeance. When Jonathon said she should be careful, Buffy had prepared a fight, but she wondered if she was over her head this time. Buffy felt the adrenaline working by the time he had walked into the center of the ring. Her body was itching for a fight and it was painless from the pills. Spike circled dangerously, never letting her out of her sight. She jumped back and forth, waiting for the moment to come, but it never did. Impatient, she lunged first, and it was cue for him to react. He grabbed her arm and swung her around. Buffy punched him with her bad arm, Spike let go and threw her onto her bruised back. They were fighting dirty, punching where it hurt, where it would count the most. Finally, when Spike was bleeding from his arm and Buffy looked like a plum, Buffy took her whip and swung, knocking Spike and herself into the cage. It was the most dangerous place she could possibly be but Willow had her back. Buffy threw the rest of her vials at the vampires and ran out battered and bloody but alive. The spectators roared. The lights went out. It was over.

Chapter #4 - Chapter Three

Chapter Three: * * * * ** * * * Anya met her with gauze and a bottle of water. Buffy gulped down the bottle and walked straight into the dressing room. She prayed that it would be empty, but all her luck ran out on stage. Ben was there, bearing a dozen burgundy roses and a bottle of wine. Buffy looked at him without amusement. "Not in the mood, Wilkinson." "Please call me Ben." He had an all American face and he was tall and big. He is in the top five hundred wealthiest in the country and the number six bachelor in the world. Handsome and puppy eyed, Buffy originally tolerated him. It was his strong chin, and his floppy brown hair, and great arms that canceled out his arrogance. But after months of being hit on by Ben Wilkinson, she had decided that it would never happen. It didn't stop him from trying. "Alright, Ben, I just got my ass beaten by three vamps. Please, let me clean up and do what you pay me for." "We definitely need to talk. Not just about... us either. You are making wrong decisions when it comes to your career. The program, your outfit, and why wasn't the fourth vampire out?" "Out!" Anya sat down. "Why does she get to stay?" The woman who stayed raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow when Ben objected. Buffy rolled her eyes. "Because she is a girl! Go away!" Buffy slammed the door. "Goodbye!" The blonde sat down and the now brunette sat down next to her. Buffy pulled off her shirt and exposed her wounds. Anya winced. "You need a doctor." "Just clean me up enough so that I can visit the vamps without them drooling." "What ended up happening? Normally Spike is good at keeping his temper. Unless it's got Drusilla involved, then he fights for his 'dark princess'. Now, sometimes Xander calls me honey, but if he ever started on the pookey-wookey, I swear that I would have to kill him. Pet-names make me want to throw up. I wonder if Drusilla ever feels the same—" Buffy detected softness in the woman's voice and spun around with a shocked look. "I can't believe that you could ever forget that Spike is a vampire! He can't harm you if you know what he is. You out of anybody should know that if you forget it, then you are as good as dead." "I haven't forgotten," Anya scoffed, "I meant that he isn't normally the trouble. Something must have ticked him off." "Not right now." Buffy shook her head and stared at her arm, completely engulfed in gauze and tape and dried blood. Most of the wounds were new ones. She healed pretty quickly. But every scar she got was just another reminder that they couldn't be trusted. "They are all the same. You can't analyze them." * * * * * * * The moment Buffy stepped out of the dressing room, she was bombarded with phone numbers, flowers, and... Ben. "Who are all these from?" He demanded possessively, as Buffy just rolled her eyes at his tone. "I don't know. People." "No one specific?" "What do you want to talk about?" "Buffy, I was wondering if you would like to have din—" "No. Next question, comment, or critique." "Why not?" Buffy leaned on the frame of her door. She knew that Anya was inside listening to her conversation and that Jonathon had a party of people up in the control room. She didn't want to explain but she thought that she might as well get it over with now. "Because I don't date my bosses. I don't have dinner with people. I have a job to take care of and I don't have time for you." "Alright. Then as your boss, why weren't you wearing your designated costume?" "Because I can't move in a leather bustier! No matter how good I look in it. And every cut that the vamps give me would show like a neon sign. Anyways, vampires are attracted to boobs, blood, and the last thing I need is one having a crush on me." "But can't you show a little more skin?" "Just because you have a particular fetish does not mean that others share your personal opinion. We are constantly sold out, what more do you want? Professionally." "I want you to consider wearing something else." "Alright, I'll consider it. What else is wrong with my performance?" "Why wasn't the second female vampire out?" Buffy internally groaned. Ben would be the one to notice that there are actually four vampires. She quickly thought of something she might tell him, but she couldn't think of any good story. Vampires don't get sick, they don't throw up, they heal super quick... "Dru got out of her cage before I went on stage." "What!" Ben yelped. His eyes suddenly grew very large and he began to twitch nervously, checking over his shoulder to see if she was there. Buffy groaned. "I got her back in. She will be out for a little longer and cut up for a while but nothing big." "You hurt her? Will she heal alright?" Buffy couldn't believe what she heard. "Only when there are lives on the line... Yes! I cut her. And she beat the crap out of me." "Oh. Well, as long as no one was hurt." "It's good that she is more than a little crazy or we would have had a killing spree on our hands." "Was that the reason why the program was incorrect?" "Yeah. I had some trouble." "Just as long as you are alright. I don't know what I would do without you." His eyes softened into their signature puppy dog glaze. Ben patted her shoulder. Buffy's gaze softened too. She didn't hate the guy, she just thought he was annoying. She wished he could understand it. Buffy was on the verge of apologizing for being so snappy, when— "Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere private?" Buffy's eyes hardened. If he wanted to get into her pants, then he was going to have a wakeup call. These jeans were painted on. "You know what? If you had ordered those control necklaces I had specially designed, none of this would have happened." "I ordered them!" "When did you order them? You were supposed to get those weeks ago!" "I have them at my office, in Los Angeles." "Fat lot of good that'll do me." "What? Wait!" "If you have any more complaints you can deposit them in my suggestion box, labeled trash receptacle." Buffy thought as she spun on her heel and walked away. She had work to do, which included the dirty dancing this afternoon with Spike. He would have to be reminded who is boss. Ten minutes later, Spike was chained to the wall. * * * * * * * * The vampire curled up next to his sire. His face was purple and black while his body was lacerated in strips. Drusilla took her Childe in her arms and slowly ran her fingers through Spike's blond hair. She would occasionally pick a lock and watch as it curled and bounced back into its original form. "Cry out to invisible hands?" "Yes Dru, it hurt. Excruciatingly." His words were muffled from the bruises and swelling. His left eye was closed shut from crusting blood running down from his forehead. "Only a mind tells the body what is pain." She slithered across Spike's torso, breaking the skin and re-opening all the slits. Blood didn't ooze anymore, only a clear liquid that smelled like death. He hissed but he felt himself become aroused as Dru's silky skin caused him pain and pleasure. "Drusilla, you're making me hard." "Foolish Spike. You aren't hard enough." And she crawled into the corner of her cage, staring out into time. Spike knew the look on her face. He chuckled humorlessly, letting his eyes fall from the vampire and onto the pair of grandparents shagging in the other corner of the cell. Angelus came to a climax. Darla wasn't done yet. She turned her eyes to the blond bleeding man lying on the floor. "Want to fuck?" * * * * * * * * * "Tell me you love me." "I love you. You know I do." His words were surprised. As if this request were the simplest she has ever asked. She took a step forward, as if his words of reverence fed her life. "Tell me you want me." He bent his head forward, as if to tell a secret. But she didn't want to give anything to him, she only wanted to take what he was always willing to give her; the momentary passion of life. "I always want you. In point of fact—" "Shut up. " Buffy's confidence was falling though the roof. She looked at Spike with nothing in her eyes. But his own gaze at her was so filled with adoration, that he didn't see that she was only a shell of a woman. Then again, it didn't matter, he worshipped her in every form, and the more she needed him, the more she drowned. She needed him, and somehow, nothing mattered anymore. * * * * * * * * * Buffy woke up in a pool of sweat and tears breaking at the sides of her eyes. She pealed her clothing off her damp body and breathed deeply. It was a dream, she told herself. It was a dream. But then, why couldn't she stop crying? And she didn't understand. Why couldn't she understand? She put her head in her hands to calm the feeling of movement beneath her, but soon when she was breathing steadily, she realized that the movement under her feet wasn't her mind. Buffy was in an aluminum train and the rocking was the main cause of her sickness. The blonde steadied herself against the wall of the vehicle. She was in the vampire compartment. Buffy placed her damp hands on the warm metal bars of the cage and looked at the sleeping vampires. Darla was in her bunk with Angelus possessively spooning around her. Drusilla was half in her bunk and half out; she murmured things so steadily that Buffy wasn't sure if she was asleep or not. It was a fact that no one had ever seen her sleep, only stare off into space with glazed eyes. Drusilla's wounds were healing quickly and the gashes were almost completely closed. Only yellowish bruises remained upon her milky white skin. When Buffy finally gazed upon the last of the vampires, she almost jumped when she realized that Spike was practically underneath her feet. He was half propped against the bars, one arm wrapped around the poles of the cage and the rest of his body sprawled out as far as it could go. Buffy quickly retreated back when she realized how easily he could have grabbed her and moreover, his nakedness unnerved her. But when Buffy saw how none of the vampires moved, and lay as still as the... well... dead, she moved closer, daring one to move and attack. She knelt down next to the blond and inspected his wounds. The beating she had given him earlier was apparent. The extra amount of blood she had given the vampires last night had helped them heal quicker and their sleep aided in their regeneration. Nevertheless, Spike still had bruises and cuts that any masochist would enjoy. Spike had surprised her with his rebellion last night even so, every time she saw one of the wounds she had inflicted, she remembered her dream and shivered. His admittance to love her shook her more than the beating she gave him. But her dream was fading, and soon she would forget about her strange, impossible dream. He isn't breathtaking. She thought as she searched his body for the complete result of her beating. There are no complaints about his body, but his nose is too big and his hair needs dying and his skin is too pale. Although when he is asleep, he looks like a beautiful corpse. Or a fallen angel. She touched his hair and brushed it away from his eyes and marveled how light it was. Then the train lurched from a shift in the tracks and Spike stirred. Buffy let go of his locks quickly and leaped back against the aluminum wall. She would rather die than admit that she had touched anything of his in any way kinder than a punch. The blond slayer silently shuffled away from the vampire cage and out the door into another compartment while the blond vampire lay still and dead asleep. But even as Buffy left, her heady scent still lingered around Spike, causing one appendage to wake sooner than the rest.

Chapter #5 - Chapter Four

Chapter Four * * * * * * * "Good, you're awake." Willow said and smiled crookedly. She had a childish goofy smile that spread easily among her friends. She had one arm around Tara, her lover and the other was holding a chipped coffee cup. Buffy saw no one else sitting in the dining room, munching on breakfast. "Why was I in the vampire compartment?" "Oh, Xander found you exhausted from your day of running around chasing down vamps and beating them up," the red haired witch replied. "He knew that you would want to keep an eye on them in case anything went wrong." Buffy raised an eyebrow. "You thought it would be good if I slept two feet from the vampires who tried to kill me earlier, and who I harshly punished afterwards with very sharp objects?" "We have been checking on you every few minutes!" Tara spluttered, "And they have been sleeping like babies." "Hmmm. I don't understand your logic, yet I strangely cannot do anything about it." Buffy picked up a biscuit. "Where are we going?" "Anya is with Xander, fixing the Chaos Demon's cage and we are heading South west. We got some supplies in Los Angeles." "Giles had said something about new cages." Willow's smile grew goofier, "Is that because of a certain persuasive discussion with Ben or is he a mind reader?" "I don't know, is he?" "No, but I think he is sweet on a blond." "Spike will break his neck before he breaks his heart." "Well, this blond is natural and alive." The red head grinned. "He really likes you," Tara said with a shy smile. Buffy just groaned silently. "Does anyone care what I think? I am not even fond of him and the last thing I need or want a relationship." "Who said anything about a relationship?" Willow playfully acted as if she were shocked. "He is rich and nice and willing to spend thousands of dollars so that you could have separate cages for your pets. Just say yes to the nice man and take his presents." "That's the same logic that drug addicts use. But if I do take the nice man's gifts, there is a large chance that he will think that I like him, which would be totally not true." "Don't worry about him liking you. The moment he gets to know the real side he will break it off, and by then you would have robbed him blind." A biscuit bounced off of her forehead and landed on Tara's plate of scrambled eggs. The girlfriends giggled while Buffy glowered at the two. "I think I could become a lesbian. Do they have a spell for that?" "I think not." Willow giggled, "And it would be a waste anyways. We're both the best, the only ones around, and taken." "Oh well, in that case, I think I'm going to turn into a monk." They all laughed at the prospect, "A monk with a stake, who slaps vampires around as her religious calling." Giles entered the cabin, to find all his youths sitting in a single cabin smiling over breakfast. Although he felt melancholy about breaking up the joyous laughter, he nodded his head and felt that it was inevitable. Buffy needed to know what she was doing. He cleared his voice, and everyone turned towards him. "I'm glad to see you're up." He said and smiled. Buffy didn't see that his upturned lips quivered slightly, showing that his happiness was a façade. She only grinned back. "Well, I didn't die, so I figure everything's good." "I would actually like to talk to you about that. Would you mind having a word with me?" It was at that moment, that Buffy saw the truth of his visage. She put on a serious face, while everyone kept on giggling. They walked into the next compartment, where the human boys slept. It was overflowing with piles of clothing in one corner and video games in another. There was an invisible line where the two sides collided into a single mass of games and clothes, but Giles kicked the pile away and then went into his private apartment. As ring master, director, and the only person who had directly contacted D'Hoffryn, the creator and main benefactor of their organization, he had the respect of all, and was feared by many. But Buffy didn't fear him because he had seen her potential and understood her calling. When he arrived into Sunnydale California, searching for monsters to showcase, he found a monster killer instead. She and a handful of friends single-handedly fought against the evil that consumed their town. With his help, she defeated the legendary vampire Master. Giles did not have a hard time convincing her to come with him; at nineteen the world is still mysterious and young. Her mother stayed to help the town's reconstruction and the raising of her youngest daughter, while Buffy left with her gang of misfits. Buffy did not proclaim her loyalty to him with undying words, though she could have. Instead, she smiled and asked for a two month advancement to give to her mother as a parting gift. And Buffy held that same honesty now, as she sat down on a pile of priceless books and looked up into her mentor's eyes, and asked, "Are you pissed?" Giles chuckled and then pointed to his chair. She sat where he pointed. Giles folded his arms and leaned against the desk after moving his books from reach. "Time will tell." He took off his glasses and started to clean them, "I am worried that you do not release the severity of the situation that I witnessed during your performance yesterday. Did you take Benzedrine before your encounter with Darla?" "How did you notice?" She sighed. "Why did you do it?" He started polishing his lenses with a newfound fervor. "You do know that I fought with Drusilla, and I couldn't go on without it..." "Then you should have told me. I would have put Willow and Tara out there. They could have handled themselves." Buffy shrugged. "It was easier to take the Bennies." Giles slammed his hand down upon the desk. She flinched at his tone of voice, never at his violence. "Damn it, you aren't the only one in the show. You cannot expect for Willow and Tara to clean up after your mess, while you traipse around and put your own life in danger. You should have told me what happened, and admit that you are not invincible." "Giles, you know as well as I that it's all about the performance and when it comes down to it, I am the main attraction." Buffy remarked in a low tone. "Others can handle the vampires, but what if Willow looses control? Or Tara runs out of magic? Who will stop them?" "If that happened, you would have died, in the middle of the cage, in front of an entire crowd of people." "Then they would know the truth about demons." Buffy spat. "That they are killers." "What are you saying?" Giles asked in a soft voice, pushing her to tell the truth. "We are lying to everyone in the crowd. I crack a whip, and throw treats at them, and you tell a story about how I am the only girl in the world who can control them. And while people oooh and ahhhh in the stands, to see what I can do, they know NOTHING of the true vampires I battled, the vampires I feed whenever I go out on stage." Her voice cracked, "You trained me to kill the Master, and we conquered the last demons in my town. But why haven't we killed these yet?" "Because we teach humans about the monsters that live on this earth." "No, we save the demons until they escape." "Buffy... Just believe that you cannot let anything kill them. No matter what." Giles began, but then bit his tongue. He could not say it for sake of ruining the entire threads of this universe. His frustration faded when he glanced at her sullen look which was familiar in every world. Giles fought his smile, caused by her bottom pouting lip. "I tried to talk to you after you saw Ben, but you disappeared." "I had to... uh... punish someone." Buffy remarked in a softer tone, slightly taken back by the change of subject. "I take it that you did it sufficiently?" "Yes." "Good." "Giles, sometimes we don't agree. But why do you object so much when you know I can take care of myself?" She breathed. "Because you forget how valuable you are. You were careless and went into the cage, depending on Willow and Tara to protect you against the vampires. Your thoughtlessness has always been attributed to your very rare use of Benzedrine. Dependency on narcotics will lead to a powerful addiction and I want you to be truly independent of everything evil. It was stupid Buffy, very stupid." "And you're not just saying that because it'll screw up my mind." "No. You should stay away from drugs that affect your nervous system. There are some things that no one should know." Buffy cocked her head at his tone, but then forgot the strangeness of it once he placed his glasses on top of his nose. "Now, I don't need to lecture you on the safety when it comes to Drusilla's cage, or how she got out, because it is not important. But do tell me what happened from the moment you found her." "I ran out to the middle of the Circus to find her, but I couldn't find her. So I tried to meditate but there were too many people around. And then she attacked me. I threw her into the sewer and I shot her with the closest tranquilizer I had." "What drug was it?" He asked quickly. "Adremimine." She replied. "It made her talk about freedom, and lying..." "Anything else?" Giles had taken his glasses off and started polishing them again. Buffy had relaxed and wilted into his large leather chair. "Yes. There was a moment when she was talking about how my lover died because I gave him a necklace and how I am not actually supposed to be here." A smile quirked at the edge of her mouth and she shook her head. "Crazy vampires, always good for a laugh." "Was that all she said?" There was a note of strain in his voice. "Yeah." Buffy then looked at him strangely, "Why, is there anything that I should be looking for?" "No. Just tell me if there's anything unusual. But I will look into the idea of a necklace. That, out of anything else seems to be our biggest clue." He looked at her, "You do know that Adremimine is a hallucinogen." "No, I didn't. But then again, Drusilla isn't exactly on the same page." She stated, worried about the look on his face. She didn't want there to be any tension between the two, so she steered the conversation to safer grounds. "Giles, are we really going to Los Angeles?" "We are going to Los Angeles," Giles said with a jaunty manner. "And I thought that we might pay a visit to Sunnydale, since we would pass it on our way there. You could spend a few days with your mother." Argument be forgotten, Buffy was glowing with happiness. "Giles! You mean it? I haven't seen her—" "I know, you haven't seen her in about four years. I didn't think that our traveling would take so long, but that's what happens when you go to the other side of the country. It should be good to see how things are. From there, we will take a long trek to Carson City. That's our destination." "Carson City? But... out of all the towns in the world, why would we ever want to stop there? We won't get any crowds because it's so conservative." "D'Hoffryn wants to look at some supplies we are carrying. And then from there, I think we can go to Sacramento. You should see the city, not only is it beautiful, but there is an underground bookstore that we should visit. It'll be dangerous, but I would love to get some more information on Polgara demons and maybe keep an eye on Drusilla's visions." "That sounds like fun, and you know I'm into anything dangerous." She stood up from her chair and stretched for a moment. "I have to check on the demons. I'll see you for lunch?" "More like dinner. It's two right now." "Half the day's already gone." She grumbled, then spun around and smiled at Giles. The prospect of going home made her giddier with every closer mile. "I now really have to go. Dinner at six!" Giles watched her go, before he picked a book from the pile he had just put away. He flipped to the second marking on the page, to a necklace with beautiful metal gilding around the edges, and a colorful stone in the center. With a painful furrow in his brow, he gently touched the edges of the picture. Giles took off his glasses, and started to rub them clean again.

Chapter #6 - Chapter Five

Chapter Five * * * * * * * Two days and ten hours later, a train still moved while a tiny blond woman hopped from the caboose and ran towards the train station. Unable to control her excitement, she raced along the tracks in the dead of night, moving forward towards the station. If the vampires had a window, they would have watched her run as fast as the train, while she released the pent up energy stored up in her body for too long. They would have envied her freedom and joy. A moonless night and the stars seemed not to shine. The only brightness was in the distance, at the train station, and at the inn that lay to its right. Buffy sprinted towards the door, knocked, and gleefully searched the hanging plant for a key. "Dawnie, I hear someone at the door." "I'LL GET IT!" A young voice hollered from inside. But Buffy's impatience unlocked the door first. Face to face, the girls stood. "Oh my god, it's BUFFY!" The younger shrieked and embraced her older sister. "Dawnie? I can't believe it's you!" She was no longer the lanky mousy haired girl anymore. She had grown six inches, and towered over the blond. Rich auburn hair reached an impossible length behind her back, and two dark brown eyes took in her older sister's appearance. "Eww! You're all sweaty. Mom! Tell Buffy to get off of me!" But the older woman standing from the corner did not mind the sweat from a midnight run. Open arms and dewy eyes greeted her oldest daughter. Buffy saw that her light brown hair had turned white in patches. New wrinkles had appeared beside her eyes and across her forehead, but her warmth and love had not changed. And that was all that mattered. Years passed before her mother could finally talk. After handing her daughter a plate of food, and caressing her cheeks, and running her finger through her hair, she finally could tell Buffy what needed to be changed. "Where is Mr. Giles? Buffy! Stop stuffing that pizza down your throat. I demand that you sit down and eat slowly !" declared Joyce Summers, mother of both girls, and surrogate mother of all. "You look like you haven't eaten in days! What have they been doing to you?" "It's hard work, mom," Buffy declared between bites of pizza. "I don't care. Your Mr. Giles is responsible for your health, and I won't have him slacking off just because he's got other things on his mind. You are only skin and bones!" She clucked, "Now where is your troupe?" "Giles snuck up to his normal room when you weren't watching." Dawn chirped, "He motioned for me to be silent." "The nerve of that man for hiding out in his room!" Joyce shook her head, "Rupert Giles, get down here this instant before I come up and get you myself!" But Joyce never had time to scold him about her daughter's treatment, because she was attacked on all sides by her adopted children. Kind words flew out of her mouth as she addressed every girl and boy who grew up to be a man and woman. "Xander, how handsome you look with your hair so long! Can I cut it tomorrow... this must be Anya, I've heard so much about you from Xander's letters. I cannot wait to hear about how you two met... Willow, I hardly recognized you! You look beautiful. I just cannot get over how grown up you are! Tara, after Willow's description of you, I could have known you anywhere. I can tell that she was not exaggerating a word... Jonathon, are you still with these crazy people? I thought you had better sense..." And on and on until she had settled everyone down in the living room with a nice cup of cocoa with tiny marshmallow's floating on the surface. "Joyce, I must say, you have done a wonderful job in maintaining this inn. It hasn't changed a bit." Giles followed the wooden trim around the ceiling, and the brightly colored wallpaper. "After four years, this is still standing. Unlike the High School..." She glanced pointedly at her daughter who spluttered in her drink. "I... that was... Mom!" Buffy cried indignantly while Dawn giggled maliciously at her sister's discomfort. "Do not Mom me! You filled it with fertilizer and lit it on fire!" "Joyce, you know as well as I that it was filled with—" "Mr. Giles, my daughter has not been eating correctly. Do you really think this is the time for me to point out that she destroyed Sunnydale High underneath YOUR instructions?" "I... um... would you like some more cocoa Joyce? I think everyone needs a refill." "Sit down Rupert!" Buffy's mother laughed, "Don't be scared of me. I am powerless against all these glowing faces. Though later, we shall converse about Buffy." "When she's not in the room." "Naturally." "You know I'm sitting right here." "I know dear." She smiled at her oldest daughter and then across the room to every face. "Everyone is here." "Do you need any help on appliances or carpentry?" Xander asked while added some more marshmallows to his cocoa. "Not right now, but in the morning I can probably think of something. My neighbor's son, Scott, has been helping me with the smaller chores, and everyone for that matter. This town has taken a long time to rebuild and is still working out all the kinks. But no one is complaining." "I am sure that we can help out while we're here." Tara added softly, "I mean, i-if we aren't obligated anywhere else..." "I think that's a wonderful idea, Tara." Giles nodded. "We should put every man forward and make the best of the time we have here." "AND woman." Anya added, somewhat forcefully. Giles blinked at her. "Pardon?" "Every man AND woman. You cannot just exclude women from contributing to the work. Unless you mean to say that we are weak and unworthy of work—" "That is hardly what I was suggesting," Giles scoffed. "Then did you mean that we are insignificant, and should only be seen in chattels as harlots?" "Anya, really." "Giles, how could you be so sexist? We are trying to achieve an age of prosperity and peace, and while you are sitting on your pile of gold—" "This is getting ridiculous..." "—and your white supremist attitude—" "... Xander, please, will you..." "—we WOMEN are standing out in the cold, being ill fed and mistreated still. Xander—" "...please! Restrain her from any more insulting comments towards my nature..." "—tell him to stop insinuating comments that are chauvinistic and bigoted—" "Whoa, you guys!" Xander shouted and then with a glare from Anya, he quickly added, "and girls!" "We prefer to be addressed as women." "Alright... whatever Anya. Giles didn't mean to exclude women. He only meant it as the human race, which is often addressed as men." And with a pointed and slightly desperate look, he added, "And I am sure that Giles is sorry for anything negative he might have accidentally and unintentionally said about womankind." In the background, Dawn was giggling into her mother's shoulder. Giles' face had a look of undignified shock and loathing at the idea that HE had to apologize to Anya, who was looking very proud that she won this battle. Though neither had really won. "Anya, I am sorry that you got offended when I stated "men" instead of "men and women"." It wasn't really an apology but she took it anyways. "And Giles, I am sorry that that you have been brainwashed by the patriarchal society that instilled a corrupt set of beliefs into your morals." Giles looked as if he was going to strangle her. "And?" Xander prodded. "And... I shall be more forgiving towards your occasional prejudiced and pig-like slip ups since you do pay me." The woman patted Giles on his back, and then smiled, beamingly, at Xander. "Speaking of payment, will we get money if we do physical labor for the sake of the town?" "I am sure that the gratitude of every townsm—wo—person is gratitude enough for us." Xander replied. "Right." She said while putting on an obviously forced smile, "This is one of those things that are good for humanity that will reward us with fuzzy feelings of happiness... though not as happy as the feeling of money" Xander put his arm around the girl to silence her. "Or sex." * * * * * * * * * Buffy's eyelids were growing heavy as they stared into the eerie television light. She felt comfortable and satisfied as her sister leaned against her, and they both snuggled against the back of the couch. Circled around were her friends, finding soft places on pillows and carpeting. In the back, she could hear the voices of her mother and Giles, doing the dishes and talking. The blond girl's desire to hear their conversation soon overtook her slumber, and softly, she unwrapped herself from Dawn's tight hold and carefully tiptoed through the sleeping couples. Giles and Joyce were standing close together washing and drying the plates and cups, talking softly. Buffy silently watched the pair together, feeling a sense of home. She once had a father who unwillingly left their family when Dawn was young. Buffy knew that he had died in the fight against demons and vampires when they attacked the southern borders. She remembered opening their door to an army officer, who took off his hat and apologized to her mother. And with a baby in her arms she listened as the soldier said that Hank Summers had died during battle. And that he had saved their team. Buffy, later discovered that he had poisoned himself and sacrificed his life to Lothos, vampire master. Her father's bravery was never forgotten in her mind, though in her dreams, she often saw visions that undermined her father's heroism... but she had the medals of bravery to prove it, and her mother's teary eyed reverence whenever anyone rarely mentioned his name. Yet at eighteen, Buffy never noticed the growing attraction between Giles and her mother until the night before she left Sunnydale. She had come home late from saying goodbye to neighbors, and in a moment, saw how easily Giles held her mother's hand. It was an unintentional gesture, but one that shook her. Going back into her mind, she saw her mother's loneliness and then the way that Giles treated her during his year of stay. The memory is fond, but years before, it was filled with anger. "Why didn't you tell me?" Buffy demanded bitterly at nineteen, a month after their departure from Sunnydale. Giles had given it three weeks of Buffy's silent disposition, thinking it was homesickness. But after those weeks, he saw that she was only silent in his presence. Finally, he took her away, and confronted her. She burst open and angrily told him that she knew. "Buffy. There are some things that you must discover for yourself and some things that you keep private from everyone. This was one of those things, for me." "But my mother, she's alone now." "I know." "You broke her heart! You left her!" "Your mother and I talked about this, and we both understand one another." "I trusted you! How could you... you betray her!" "Buffy, I did not betray your mother. She does not think that I betrayed her. So then why do you believe I betrayed someone?" "I... I cannot believe that you would... oh my god!" She cried, and then tears started in her eyes. Giles took her resisting body into his arms. She fought, naturally. But he fought back too. And eventually, she clung to the side of his jacket, and wept while Giles soothed her through words. "Buffy, you are so young. And you have carried so much on your shoulders. Have you ever wanted something for yourself? That you never asked for because you knew you couldn't have it? Listen to me; I am taking you away from that. You will have no worries. You can let go of the responsibility of saving everyone in your town, and concentrate on being a girl." "But... that doesn't... justify... mom—" "Your mother and I know where we stand in our lives. Joyce is an incredible woman. I've never met anyone like her in my life. But we both knew that I was in Sunnydale for you. At the end of the day, she would stay to rebuild Sunnydale and raise Dawn, and I would leave with you. I have never wished to erase, or undo the memories of your father, and the last thing I wanted was your worry about a matter like this. Your mother is discovering herself as a woman without a husband and her oldest child, just as you are finding what it is like to be without the weight of the world on your shoulders. I like to think that I helped her find herself, just a little, through our time together." "What will happen when you see her again?" Buffy whispered. Now Giles looked away. "I don't know." He said in a far away voice. "Sometimes, it's not about love, it's about need." Buffy didn't understand the statement until she fell in love with a sweet faced boy, ten miles outside of Los Angeles. He worked in the California vineyards. They spent four weeks with one another, as he traveled with her to San Francisco up the coast. He was muscular and wonderful, and Buffy found herself wrapped up in his adoration of her. But when the second week ended, she had to return to her vampires and him to his laborious work. It took a month for her to experience love, and three years to understand that nothing is ever enough. She would see him soon, Buffy realized. She always wrote him and told him about her adventures. But in this last letter, Buffy had only included a place, date, and a question mark. And Riley Finn simply wrote, "of course". Sitting, studying her mother and her guardian gently touch shoulders, she understood that their intimacy was far greater than anything she had ever had. And longingly, she watched their fingers brush as one dish passed to the other. As silently as she came, she left, letting their rolling conversation travel on, without interruption.

Chapter #7 - Chapter Six

Chapter Six * * * * * * * That morning, Joyce returned with a paper and a package for Buffy Summers. “I haven’t been to the post office in a while, but this has been waiting for you for ages.” “Ages?” Buffy asked quickly, and opened it to find a note. “Not ages, only since last week.” “Who is it from?” Giles questioned. Buffy snorted. “Ben. It’s for the vampires. It’s a tracking device. Electric collars that I ordered weeks ago. I sent it to his office, because I thought he would get it before we got into town and so he could mark the books.” Buffy rolled her eyes, “and of course, every single collar has been opened and closed. Isn’t it wonderful how suspicious he is?” “Are those the collars that keep them under control?” Joyce asked with a curious note in her voice. “Yeah they are.” Buffy took the rest of the paper off the sloppily re-wrapped item and twirled it around her finger. It was a thick silver chain that would lay against the collar, and a single dog tag weighing down the end. The chain came with spells on how to meld the link together so that it would be a permanent placement around the neck. “I had to get these made specially. Normally they are dog collars for dangerous animals, so when they get loose, they are stunned. But these are meant to kill.” “Is that real silver?” Giles picked one up and examined it. “It must have cost a small fortune.” “It was a lot, but Willow told me that silver is a conductor for magic. She and Tara are going to do some spells on them so that they stay on forever, work forever, and never tarnish. That and it looks better on the stage. Having something shiny around their necks.” “Good idea. Are you going to put them on today?” Joyce asked. “I thought that I would help you around the house, then after dinner, I would get these on the vamps.” Buffy turned to Giles. “Do you want to tranquilize them or see if they’ll cooperate?” Giles took off his glasses. “It’s your decision, but it depends on how much tranquilizer we have. The last time Drusilla was out, you used up how many darts?” “One, for her. And then two empty ones for Spike and Darla.” Buffy saw that Giles was calculating the possible probabilities in his mind, which would take a while. “Tell you what, I’ll check the supplies, and we’ll see. I don’t want to do any performances in the near future without at least eight for safety.” “Good idea. I’ll help you tonight, but right now, your mother has a pile of work for us.” “Should I start whistling?” * * * * * * * * * * The tiny blond girl was fixing the outdoor fence, when she saw a familiar figure walking towards her mother’s house. His broad shoulders, and tanned skin, glowed brightly in the sun, like a creature of the nature and light. Throwing down her tools, and in dust and overalls, she threw her arms around her bronze boy. “Buffy.” He whispered, and took a deep breath of her scent. “I was going to meet you in Los Angeles,” she replied softly, letting her arms fall around his torso, snuggling into his chest. “I couldn’t wait.” “But you can’t miss work.” She replied, but he silenced her with a sweet kiss. “I couldn’t wait.” “I believe you,” she smiled, with a small grin, and kissed him warmly for a lengthy amount of time. Joyce Summers looked out the window, and saw a tall man, embracing her daughter. She smiled, and accepted that chores were not going to be finished today. * * * He could only stay one day before he had to go back into the vineyard. Buffy lay on Riley’s shoulder, and in the middle of the corn fields, they held one another tightly, neither willing to accept that in three hours, Riley would take the next train back to the grape fields, and Buffy would return to her nomadic lifestyle. Waiting in anticipation for their next meeting, thinking of every possibility, and remembering every reason why they couldn’t stay together. “Riley,” Buffy said softly, feeling his fingers through her hair. “Something is different. I can’t explain it.” “What do you mean?” He asked lazily, happy to think about anything except that he would be leaving in a few hours time. “Like between us? Or in general.” “A little bit of both,” she admitted, turning over to stare at him. She leaned on her elbows, and peered over his stomach, to map his muscles. He reached forward and touched her hair lovingly, but it seemed that she didn’t want love anymore. “I’ve been having these weird dreams, sometimes,” she said quietly, “They are about my father. They aren’t always good.” “What happens?” He asked. “I dream that he wasn’t in the army, or traveling to Africa where the demons are, and that he didn’t die saving his team. I dream that he was a normal man, a sales man, who… oh god. Who left my mom and sister for his—” Buffy shook her head, “For his secretary. And that he doesn’t want to spend any time with us.” Riley reached out and kissed her forehead. Buffy fell into his embrace easily, and felt horribly guilty for the words, but overall, she couldn’t stop thinking that maybe they were true. “It’s healthy to think thoughts of what if, and the numerous other possibilities, but Buffy,” he looked at her with his trusting blue eyes. “Know that they are just fantasies, and not visions or prophecies. We’ve gotten rid of those. All evil has been cast away and into the other side of the world. We have nothing to worry about but ourselves. Maybe you are worrying just for the sake of worrying?” “I know. I think that I have it so good, that there has to be something wrong.” “If you want to concentrate on something, think about me,” he jested, “I’m leaving in two and a half hours, and every time I go, I feel that another piece of me has left.” “Oh Riley,” she whispered, “How are we going to make this thing work?” “Marry me,” he said, with complete honesty in his expression. Buffy sighed. “You know the answer to that.” She watched his face fall. “I can’t step away from my responsibilities.” “You would spend time with those… monsters over starting a family with me?” He said defensively. Buffy’s brows furrowed sadly. “It’s not that. It’s that I’m the only one in the world, and don’t you see? I am happy doing what I do. And I know that you wouldn’t give up your love of the land to travel with me.” She pulled his face forward, so that he couldn’t avoid her gaze. “If I could make things work, I would. But right now, they don’t fit together. We’ll find a way, and maybe time will help us out.” “Sometimes I think about kissing other girls,” he whispered guiltily. Buffy nodded. “I would understand. You can’t wait for me forever.” “But why won’t you fight for me?” His face contorted with pain, “I think of my future, and I think of you, and it tears me up inside that you aren’t in it.” “What do you want from me?” “Assurance that you are mine. I wish I could carry you around in my pocket forever, and never let you go.” Buffy laughed at his ridiculous statement. It was so care free, that he smiled sheepishly at her joy. “It’s true.” “I don’t doubt it.” She giggled. “But it would be hell on our sex lives. What time is it?” “Two hours till.” “Good, I have just enough time to prove to you that I’m better non-pocket size.”

Chapter #8 - Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven * * * * * * * As the sun began to set, Buffy looked out the window. Her hands and feet were eager to get some vampire work done. The rendezvous with Riley was three days ago. Their meetings were always sweet, but afterwards; it always left her anxious and dissatisfied. Joyce Summers knew the restless look on her face, only too well. "I don't know how long this will take. Mom, can I be excused?" Buffy stood up so that her chair creaked in response. Her mother nodded, and Buffy took her dishes out to the sink. "Joyce, I'm afraid I must join her." Giles said reluctantly. "You don't have to go." Buffy assured, "Giles, I can do this. All you'll be doing is the watching thing. And I'll do the slayer-y stuff. And you'll be with the polishing glasses, and the sighing, and the instructions. While I'm kicking butt and telling you to shut—" "Alright, I know the drill. I'll come out when I've finished. How does that sound?" "Good!" Buffy replied cheekily. "Tell Willow to come out as soon as possible. I think she's spending some quality time with Tara in their room." She turned on one foot, and went out the door. Giles blanched. "Joyce, do me a favor and get the girls, would you?" She laughed. "Nope, you're the boss." * * * Buffy reached the train tracks when the sun was completely gone. She opened the compartment doors as wide as they could go, to unnerve the creatures. She then ran towards the bunker to check her supply of tranquilizers. She had a nagging feeling that there weren't enough. Which was kind of bad. * * * * * * * "Ahhhhh!" Drusilla screamed, "It burns...it BURNS!!!" "Dru...DRU!" Spike shouted, "It's just a bloody sunset. The worst you might get is a little tan." "It's not the sunset, it's the—" "Shut her up Spike! I won't have her spoil my fun!" Angelus roared. "The slayer's up to something." "The pixies told me that she fares us no good will! The slayer, she is. And come to hurt us deeply." She touched Spike's face, "Poor Spike, you've been burned the worst by her." "I know, Dru, but the wounds have healed and now I'm itching for some payback." He said under his breath. "You won't win. You'll never win." And she stretched her arms out into the air, "Why is she here?" She looked directly at Darla, "You were NEVER supposed to come back!" Darla raised one eyebrow, and then sauntered closer to the raven haired woman. "What do you mean, not come back?" She whispered darkly. "Died thrice. And now, you're awake... but this time, with fangs. Oh mummy, I so wanted to go back to Africa." She looked at Spike, "But that's where he got his burning spark!" Darla turned to Spike, who looked at Drusilla as if she had grown three brand new heads. The blond vampire shrugged, and then pivoted on one foot to kick her in the head, knocking her to the floor. Angelus chuckled. Spike leapt up and tackled Darla to the ground. Angelus then reached down to pull the youngest vampire up by the scruff of his neck, and punch him solidly in the jaw. Spike retaliated and threw his entire weight onto the older vampire, knocking him down. But when Drusilla started to laugh, the three stopped their wrestling to stare wide eyed at the dark haired creature of the night. "All of these memories. Like little parasites in my mind... eating the real ones. Devouring them in their big fat bellies." She giggled. "And my dearest boy still defends me, but if he knew... what he was willing to do for her... would it break his parasitic heart?" Drusilla bent down to face Spike, with only centimeters between them. "YOU DIED FOR HER!" She screamed. "THIS PLACE IS YOUR GRAVE!" "What the hell is going on with her?" Angelus questioned calmly, getting up from the floor. "She's getting batty in her old age." "Dru... listen to me... please." "With all this talk of 'her' I do believe she is jealous, which means that you've been doing something with Darla." Angelus punched Spike again, "What have you been doing?" "I haven't done a bloody thing!" "Let's play with her." Darla smiled, "What do you say, Angelus? Let's make her tell all she knows." "You will not TOUCH her!" Spike shouted. "Let's touch them both." Darla smirked. "Yum... yum... yum... Oh, and the stars shine darkly tonight. None of you are the same. None. And I am the only one who stands dead. William and Daddy burn with sparklers in their hearts. Mummy is deader than I!" "Is that a compliment or an insult?" Darla mused, "I really can't tell." Buffy's face finally appeared. "Oh good, you softened them up for me." * * * Drusilla began to laugh. "What's going on with her? I could hear her from the caboose." Buffy inquired. "Does she need to be staked?" "No," Spike replied, but with less fervor than usual. "She just doesn't like it here." "Thanks for the speculation." Buffy's response was filled with sarcasm. "Now, I want all of you in the training room. Pronto." She hit the button on the side of the single cage. One side lifted open. Darla went first and Angelus followed. Drusilla, still laughing, danced into the next room, while Spike stood there and watched her. All three were in the other section when Spike questioned Buffy. "What is this for?" But Buffy didn't answer. She hit the button again, and Spike dashed for the other compartment as the cage hit the ground with an obnoxious bang. He made it only just, as his head was the last appendage to go through, and a few hairs were pulled off his head. Pinched between the metal wall and the floor. "Don't question me Spike. I'm not in the mood." In one swift motion, she had pulled out a pencil and wrapped her hair in a long bun, without rubber ties or thongs. One hand held four necklaces and the other held a stake, and in her pocket, she had a Taser. Black tee shirt and blue jeans. The room was entirely covered with padding. Four lines of yellow tape ran across the corners of the floors. The room was twice as long as it was wide, and Buffy was the last person in. The four demons knew this room well and they could smell their dried blood on the light brown walls. Willow and Tara walked in nervously. Angelus wet his lips at the prospect of the two lovers, while Darla dreamed of fresh blood. Drusilla was off in her own world, watching Tara in a way that unnerved Willow, while Spike licked his wounds. Literally. "Buffy..." Willow said warily, as she kept her eye on Drusilla. "Don't worry; just hit the yellow tape if anything happens. It's heat sensory and the Holy Water will come down through the sprinklers." "Okay." "Now." Buffy said, facing the vampires on the other side of the compartment. Here's the plan. You put these on or you get staked. Suggestions? Comments? Questions?" "Buffy," Angelus smirked, "You didn't have to buy me jewelry. You knew that I would have come around eventually." Buffy threw him the necklace, and he twirled it around his finger. "What's the catch?" "You put this on, and you will be able to go outside. Tonight. That's the deal." "Well. In that case..." Angelus took the necklace and threw it around Drusilla's neck before Spike could move an inch. Willow and Tara held hands. "Iuxta desiderium meum corripiam eos congregabuntur super eos populi com corripientur propter duas iniquitates suas." "Hosea 10:10," Darla mused. "You FUCKWIT!" Spike hollered before shoving Angelus against the padded wall, "You tossing bloody ARSEWIPE!" "Now, now, William." Angelus giggled, "You can still play with her. Only this time, you can add magnets." "Slayer," he growled, turning back to Buffy, "What the bloody fucking hell did you do to her?" "It's a control. She can't take it off, and I don't have to worry about where she is anymore." Buffy smiled, "It's a win/win situation!" "There's no way you're putting that on me," Darla sniffed. "It smells like electricity." Buffy round house kicked Angelus, pushed Spike out of the way, punched Darla in the stomach and pushed her against the wall with her wooden stake. One necklace whipped around her neck, and attached while Willow and Tara said the Latin words. When they were done, Angelus ran head first towards Buffy in a kick, but she caught his leg and stopped him. Angelus fell, sliding underneath Buffy's legs. Buffy stopped him by catching his chin with the silver chain and locking the necklace in place. The third chant was finished with a strangled tone, because Spike had Tara by the throat. "Now, slayer, if you take one more move towards me, I will break this lovely girl's neck in two." Tara's eyes were impossibly wide, and painfully expressive. "Undo Drusilla's collar and we can talk about what I want." "Fulgur!" Willow screamed, and her hair turned into a deep black color. A bubbling bright consistency floated over the palm of her right hand. Her eyes, once a beautiful green, turned dark with rage. "Get off of her you sniveling idiot. Effervo!" Buffy punched Willow, and the enraged witch turned on her. "What was that for? You weak pussy!" "Willow! Get a hold on yourself NOW!" Buffy cried, and latched on to Willow's arm. "Oh please!" She snorted, "I eat slayers for breakfast." "Sorry, but there's only one." Buffy retorted, and punched the black haired witch. "And you BELIEVE these memories? Oh Goddess, what kind of gullible are you? Vulnero!" She threw the bolt at Buffy. It hit her stomach, and threw her against the wall. "Luscious." Angelus licked his lips, "Darling girl, would you mind—" "Shut up low-life. Tell William the Bloody opportunist here to let go of the girl." She looked around the room and rolled her eyes. "You may like it here, but I sure as hell don't." Spike slowly stepped away from Tara, who watched, wide eyed at her lover's transformation. "Listen, witch. We will get out of here. It's only a matter of time before we can return to the demonic half of this world," Darla replied, with a calculating glare. "Ooooh, I like you." The black witch smirked, and then winked at the blond vampire. "You're deliciously saucy. What do you say we meet over mayhem sometime?" "Sorry, I take penis over cunt." A saccharine smile then crossed her lips, "But if you get me out... I may reconsider my preference." "Sorry, dear. But I don't fuck sexually confused straight women. And anyways, you're not alive." "Did you JUST figure that out?" Darla snapped. Drusilla started to laugh again. "Hello, crazy," Dark Willow remarked with an off kilter grin. "You know the stars in their correct alignments." "That's one way of saying it. Talk less, mean more." "No one else does, and I'm afraid I don't remember everything. It's eating my insides." She looked at the dark witch, "He remembers, but he misses his mistress and doesn't say a word." Angelus backhanded Drusilla, but she didn't sway. "Take me with you." "It would take too long. Like I said, I don't like it here. It's too segregated and Sunnydale is the only place where the two sides converge." Willow's black hair started to fade, "And if the other doesn't remember, then he won't leave." The red-headed girl fainted on the floor, just below Tara's astonished feet. Buffy grabbed Spike by the throat and slammed him against the wall. "Did you THINK that was funny?" She punched him, "Because I thought it was absolutely hilarious!" "Tara! Do it NOW!" Buffy snapped, and Tara shakily went through the Latin spell. His collar was in place. "I'm going to take her back to Giles." "Good. And if any of you try that again, I will not only stake you, but I will banish you to a heavenly dimension where you can spend the rest of your days in an eternal boredom. I will make sure that you clean halos for the rest of your unlives!" She took out her Taser and jabbed Spike for a good minute, then threw him outside. "All of you MOVE!" * * * * * * * * "This is an invisible fence. If you cross this, your head will explode. It goes a hundred feet down, and as far up as you can possibly see. You will die if you attempt to escape. And if you survive the fence, your necklaces will send a shock so big that it will revive even YOUR hearts. Then again, you would be a pile of dust anyways, because it would set fire to your intestines." Buffy touched the wooden fencing around the pasture. About an acre's worth of land. It was placed next to the train for easier cow herding, but Buffy spent much of the afternoon tinkering with its abilities. "The bird's bluffing," Spike snapped. "No she is not." Drusilla said dreamily. "My head will be like twigs, and go snap in the night." "I'm working on your cages tonight." She locked the gate, "Let's hope I don't forget you in the morning." * * * Drusilla seemed elated to be out in the field. Her screams quieted down to small murmurs of confused chatter, and for this short night, she could truly see the stars. Darla and Angelus were never too private about their sex, but they took the opportunity to fuck away from the other pair. Spike, on the other hand could not get the smell of the slayer's blood from his nose, or the words of the dark witch out of his brain. What the bloody hell was she talking about? Memories over memories, other universes, Darla's death, and Sunnydale being the only place where the two worlds merged? Well, the last made sense. Out of both the Americas, it is said that California is the only that has any magic life, because of World War III. But why would someone tinker with memories? And why did the Slayer's blood smell so rich? * * * Buffy collapsed against the padded wall, and took off her shirt covered in blood. It didn't make any sense. Willow had conquered her darkness, but somehow it had returned once they hit Sunnydale again. Willow hadn't started using magic until her eighteenth year, when Buffy desperately needed backup. Only once, did she go black, and it was during the last battle before they all left. It was the moment when Buffy had almost drowned. But Willow had conquered the black magic on the road, with Tara, and tapped into a beautiful white essence instead. However, today, she reverted back to her dark state and hit Buffy with a blast of pure black energy. The blonde had finished wrapping her sides, when she thought of the dark witch's words. Buffy realized that the magic stemmed from the demonic side of the world. And yes, Willow had magic throughout the rest of the country, but that was weaker and white. So why the change? Was it because they were in Sunnydale, the converging points of all magic? Or was it that Willow was losing control? Would Buffy have to kill her best friend?

Chapter #9 - Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight: * * * * * * * * * * * * * "You're not going in there." They were in a dark alley, letting their voices travel above the sirens of a swap car, which flew by in a blue and red blur. The two figures glared at one another with stubborn obstinacy, refusing to let their feet take flight and run away from the fight. "I have to do this. Just let me go." Spike understood that if she could be taken into custody, taken away, then she could possibly get away from this hell. The peace of a jail cell and a regimented life to follow, this could be her idea of heaven, away from this hard life. But it was cheating and she would know it. "I can't. I love you." "No, you don't." "You think I haven't tried not to?" She punched him with all of her anger, accumulating into one hit. Spike's body flew back into a pile of trash cans and then stopped when he hit the wall. The metal cans still rattle as Buffy turned back to look at him in disgust. "Try harder." Buffy started to leave again but Spike materialized behind her. He changed to his demonic face because it was easier to divide the lines between good and evil. It's never easy when he looked so fucking human. Spike grabbed her again and threw her to the ground farther up the alley. "You are not throwing your life away over this," he growled. "It's not your choice," Buffy retorted. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" It was an honest question and Spike saw that it made Buffy angrier. It was only one example of ten million others that he just didn't understand. He knew that he could not feed Buffy everything that she ever needed; that as a human, she had a soul; the qualities of a human that always made simple things so much easier. But it didn't mean that he couldn't try to be her world. "A girl is dead because of me." "And how many people are alive because of you? How many have you saved? One dead girl doesn't tip the scale." It was all scales, balances and justice. One good deed crosses out one bad one. "That's all it is to you, isn't it? Just another body!" Spike sighed and tried to change tactics, to lie a little more and tell her that it really was that simple. She had believed it before, maybe she would take it now. "Buffy- " She couldn't stand it any longer. Buffy attacked him. Spike blocked a couple of punches but then she hit him in the stomach. The pain was something he knew and it brought her back to his world. "You can't understand why this is killing me, can you?" "Why don't you explain it?" Spike asked, still defenseless. She hit him a few more times. He took it without fighting back. "Come on, that's it, put it on me. Put it all on me. That's my girl." "I am not your girl!" She screamed, but Spike knew that she was. Only he could understand the horror she went through, he was the only one who could take it away. The momentary satisfaction, yes, it was something that he could understand. Buffy hit him hard and with no strength left, he fell back. But she wasn't done. Spike had underestimated her anger and he didn't understand that murder could not be hidden from. And that jail was actually a punishment. And he didn't understand Buffy to the extent he thought he did. Buffy moved over him and hit him again and again. "You don't ... have a soul! There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside! You can't feel anything real! I could never ... be your girl!" She continued and Spike, with nothing else to give, went back to human face. His bruised and bloody visage wasn't even recognizable anymore, but he didn't fight back, just took it. And maybe he would die and that would be what she truly wanted. He didn't know what to give her anymore. All he knew was that she could take anything and he wouldn't fight. "You always hurt ... the one you love, pet," he slurred. Both recognized the truth and it shocked her. "Buffy?" He reached for her, but she's gone. "Buffy..." In the open acre of grass, where no animals moved, Spike screamed. * * * * * * * * Buffy finished cleaning the cages and practice room when she heard a noise outside. It was Spike. She groaned, but when she realized that she could hear his voice, in a completely padded room with the door closed, she knew that something was truly wrong. She grabbed her stake and rushed out to break up the vampires, or monsters, or anything... but it was too late. Buffy jumped the fence and rushed over to the vampire bent over sobbing into his hands. "What happened?" She cried and looked around for anything to kill. But instead of being the protector, he stared up at her with scared, wide eyes and crawled backwards as fast as he could. "Get away from me!" "What?" "What the fuck did you do to me?" "I didn't do anything to you that I didn't do to any other vampire." Her curiosity was peaked. "What's going on with you vampires today?" Spike stood up and began to rant, back and forth. "Oh bloody, bleeding, buggering hell! I can't handle this anymore. It must be the spell, or Dru's infected me, because what I just felt, THAT heartbreaking emotional shit, it hurt. Oh God it hurt so badly." He looked straight into her eyes, so intently that Buffy was scared at the emotion. "And you did it. I would have given anything..." "What? Did you see your life pass before your eyes and saw something scary? Please." Buffy scoffed, "You're just a waste of my time." She turned to leave, but for the first time in her entire twenty-three years, Spike grabbed a hold of her arm in a nonviolent gesture. Never in her life had she ever imagined that a vampire would touch her. The revulsion overcame her senses as she tried to push him away. But his grip was stronger and Buffy felt a cold fear running over her nerves. "Why?" He ached, "Why would you do that to me?" "Spike, get off of me." Her voice was breaking its calm. It was unfamiliar and dangerous. "To toy with me like that. To play with my mind. Humans are cruel, but you, to inflict that amount of humiliation upon—" his voice cracked, "To use me like that. You have to be a... monster." "I am not the monster. LET GO!" "I was willing to die." His face contorted in pain as burning tears fell down the lines of his skin, "I gave up everything and it hurt bl—blindingly." Buffy saw the true pain in his voice and she felt his grip loosen. She pulled away, but stayed there, standing in front of her. He physically touched her and that shock commanded her to stand there. The emotions he showed surprised and affected her. It was disturbing to think that a vampire could feel, but he needed to calm... or else, she thought, he would touch her again. "Spike," Her words were soft. "I don't know what's going on tonight. But whatever you saw... I don't think it was real." "You didn't feel it!" Spike hardly saw her anymore; he only relived the moment over and over until it devoured him, "You took everything from me. I was willing to die so that the pain would go away. The ever present pain that consumed... and oh God. I don't understand... I don't understand... I don't understand—" "Spike." He looked at her, tears and anger mingling, but no longer blind. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" He screamed, "WHY don't you bloody get that? I REALIZE what I saw was wrong, I'm not barking. I cannot love you! And YOU have a stick so far up your ass that you would never have even entertained the possibility that a vampire could love. Although we can. And I comprehend that it is impossible that you could ever care for me, but by every piece of dust that makes up this shell, I know that somehow I loved you." Spike the vampire clapped his hands on both sides of her face, pulling her towards him. Buffy grasped his hands to pull them away, but instead, of twisting and breaking her neck, like she thought he would, he bent down in his insanity and kissed her hard on the lips. Buffy's shock prevented her from moving or responding to his touch. Inwardly, she screamed. Outwardly, she was rigid and stiff, refusing to fall into the shape of his torso or lean upon his shoulder. This was no soft token of Riley's sweetheart love, but a violation upon the senses. In this kiss, tastes and emotions ran between them so that her heartbeat raced wildly, without reason or pattern. Salt and fear were shared by both of them, until Spike let go and pushed her away. He stood there for a moment, uncaring that Buffy's knees had buckled underneath. She fell upon the grass, but without grace, she rolled and picked herself up in one motion. "I hear a girl begging for her life." He whispered. "What's going—" An inhuman scream rushed across the surface of the field. Buffy broke off into a run towards the direction of the voice. Behind her, she heard Spike's cry fill the air. "DRUSILLA!" * * * "Oops." "Angelus, what did you do?" Buffy gasped as she saw the particles of air float to land on his hair and clothing. He didn't care; his entire body was relaxed and leaning upon the local tree. Darla snuggled against his side, with a reproving expression on her face. "She kept rambling on and on and on about random shit, while Darla and I were carrying on an intelligent conversation about how to get out of this place and I got sick of it. So I pushed her to suggest that she get out of here, only..." He looked at the fence, "I pushed her too hard." Spike arrived at the scene of the crime with dry but bloodshot eyes. "It looks like someone's been crying over his ladylove." Darla sniggered. Spike looked at her sharply. "Darla, get away from him." He said angrily. "I have no vengeance with you if you did nothing." "Vengeance! How melodramatic could you possibly get, Spike?" Darla laughed and tisked at Angelus with a stern look. "Though I do understand how horrible this must be for you. I mean, how bad must you feel, to know that Drusilla was killed by your grand-sire? You two had been monogamous for... what anniversary was it this year, dear?" "One hundred and twenty three years." Spike said without emotion. Buffy glanced at him, but Spike wasn't concerned with her anymore, it was between him and his grandsire. "Oh." She looked at Angelus and slapped him on the arm. "You're such a clumsy insensitive fool." Angelus smiled. "And yet, I'm such a graceful lover." Spike punched him so that he knocked into Darla. Rolling up his sleeves, he strode towards where the male vampire laughed. Spike leapt on top of the vampire and landed hard on his stomach. Angelus rolled Spike over, landing a few good punches on his face. "My loving is something that you've experienced many times." Angelus said when Spike tried to get up. The vampire just shoved him back, "So you're going to kill me. How original." "I loved her." Spike growled, "And you killed her because you were bored!" "Well... Yeah." He looked at Darla, "That was it, wasn't it?" "Pretty much, darling. But do keep hitting him. He needs to realize who's in charge." "Angelus! I suggest you get off of him right now, or else, you too will become dust." Giles stood behind the fence, with what looked like a cell phone. Jonathon stood next to him, looking worriedly at the vampires and at Buffy, who had just returned. She had warned Giles of what was going on and he had grabbed the controler. "You are controlling us invisibly by a black box instead of little miss cheerleader?" Angelus winked at Buffy, "I mean I don't even know if this thing is real?" "Believe me, it is." "Oh well." Angelus said, climbing off of Spike. "I will miss those occasional licks of Slayer's blood. Even sweeter than a ripe female gypsies. Maybe this can be tempor—AGGGGH!" Angelus clutched his neck as a high voltage shock ran through his body. Giles didn't even look down. "I think not."

Chapter #10 - Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine: * * * * * * * * “Get in the cage!” Buffy said and kicked Darla inside. She retaliated by vamping out, but leapt inside before Buffy could punish her for her defiance. Spike was the last. His eyes were clear, but tonight, his voice was dangerously low. Not from the threats he swore in his mind, but because of his fear, echoing in his tones. “I will obtain my vengeance.” And disappeared into the dark cage. Buffy sighed and looked at Giles. “I need to chain them to the cage walls until we get to Los Angeles.” “No. You will not.” Giles’ voice was crisp. “Jonathon and I will keep them apart.” Jonathon looked horrified at the prospect. “Giles…” Buffy began, but she was cut off by his hard tone. “No, Buffy. I told you to keep anything from happening to them and you failed to do that. I will meet you back at the house and we will begin to research. I have some theories.” He looked at her crestfallen face and his tone softened a bit. “We want to ensure that Willow is safe. Tara is quite hysterical at the moment, poor girl.” “But she’s back to normal, right?” “Yes,” He looked at her torn shirt and saw her stiffness, “Buffy… you need to clean up. Go back and rest for a moment. I’ll take care of the vampires.” “Fine,” she replied, “but like you said, we will find out what’s going on.” * * * Buffy returned to the house and entered like a stranger. Everyone was in the kitchen, tending to Willow’s every need. Anya was wiping her brow, while Joyce was creating hundreds of icepacks. Dawn was sitting with Xander, talking about possibilities. They all looked so organized and ready for anything, that Buffy suddenly had a sinking feeling that she was an odd one out. She had brought them all together, but the machine now ran independent of the conductor. It all felt so strange and different but she couldn’t put her finger on anything particular. Was it that they were different, or that she was different? “It’s like I can’t talk to her anymore.” And Buffy whirled around towards Tara, who had softly crept up to meet her. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” “That’s alright.” Buffy breathed a sigh. She then looked closer at the slightly pale girl, threatening to fall over at any second. She grabbed her arm, as Tara swayed to the right. “Woah there. Okay, why don’t you sit down, huh?” “I j-just… y-you’re bleeding.” She pointed at the bloodstained shirt and Buffy swore as she realized her wounds had reopened. Buffy helped Tara walk towards the couch, where the nauseous girl lay upon the large cushions. Tara tried to explain what exactly happened. “The smell just came over me and I felt light headed. As if I was weightless… I’ll sit here. You get bandaged up.” Tara looked over at the kitchen, where Willow was sitting. “I have some bandages upstairs.” Buffy watched the redhead laugh at Xander’s funny expression. “I’m not ready either, but you need someone to look after you and I can't do that if I am going to make you faint. Anya!” Buffy waved the girl down and pointed at Tara. “What are you doing down here?” Anya demanded as Buffy looked sharply at Tara, “You weren’t supposed to get up!" “I… I couldn’t sleep.” Tara stuttered. “With everything that happened. I k—kept closing my eyes and s—seeing...” “Alright, alright.” Anya sighed and then looked particularly gracious. “I am in a giving mood and I understand that Willow was freaky as hell. If you go back upstairs, I won’t tell—“ “Tara! What are you doing downstairs?” Willow asked, in a worried voice. Her eyes scanned the company and the worry changed to hurt. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to anybody.” “I—I…” She attempted, but Buffy was quicker. “She was having some nightmares about the vampires. So I rushed upstairs and that calmed her down. You know, being Vampire Slayer and all. So I brought her down to pick out a stake, to feel safer with, before she went back to bed.” Buffy was surprised how easily the lie rolled off her tongue… and how willing Willow was to believe it. Willow took a deep sigh, looking more relieved. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight, to make sure the vampires don’t come back? As you saw tonight, I can definitely take care of myself.” She laughed hollowly and was the only one who dared joke. Tara shrank back as if she had been hit. “I’ve already told her that I am going to watch over her until she gets to sleep. And then I think it would be best if we all talked about what is going on in Sunnydale. So that something like this doesn’t happen again. That’s when Tara will feel the safest. To know that we are finding an answer.” Everyone nodded their heads. Willow less so than others. “Alright. I’m going to get bandaged up. Willow, you are the best at Research, so why don’t you go in the dining room and start cracking. Giles, you help. Xander, get the cookie jar and the gallon of milk and meet them there. Anya, why don’t you take Tara upstairs and get her settled.” “But, I can…” “No Willow, Tara knows that you are the best at research and if you go upstairs, well, it would be wasting time. Anyways, Giles can’t start without you.” Buffy gave him a pointed glare. “Yes I need you to look up possession spells on that infernal box… thing.” Willow looked torn, “Immediately.” She didn’t get the entire message, but she got enough to know to go on the infernal box thing. “Alright, baby. Sweet dreams. Tomorrow, I will make you a charm to ward away bad ones.” “Goodnight.” And Anya led her upstairs, chattering away about Bill Gates selling his soul for a mechanical box of endless information. Buffy watched the group filter into the kitchen, while she followed the others to bandage herself. But not too close to Tara, who had become unusually squeamish about blood. * * * * * * * * * Spike didn’t dare weep. He didn’t dare blink, even. He had to find a way to punish Angelus for killing Drusilla. It was the only thing on his mind. And it was the only thing that mattered. He could kill Angelus, but it would be too simple. One moment of blinding agony, then death. Nevermore. It was too much like a temper tantrum. He had to work something out that would take everything away from him and leave him to suffer. He could kill Darla. It would be just as easy and just as childish. And truly, it wouldn’t matter. They were fucking conversation partners. Angelus would be too vain to care. And worse, he would take his sexual frustration out on Spike. He shivered at how bad it could be and then how good it could feel. But if he killed Darla, it would most assuredly be bad. Therefore, Darla unlived. He thought about all the things that Angelus cared about and then realized that he could destroy him with only one act. Darla would respect him and Angelus would hate him, but he would not hurt him. It was so perfect. Spike had to kill the Slayer. He remembered the horror that the Slayer influenced and wondered why he hadn’t thought of it sooner. * * * * * * * * * * “So can we blame this on the vampires yet?” Xander shut the dusty book so hard, that a cloud of dust shot out of the pages and onto Anya. She slapped him hard, causing another cloud of dust to rise, but this time, off her clothing. “They didn’t do anything out of normal. Besides killing Drusilla, that is.” Willow stated simply then sneezed onto one of the ancient books. Her sudden motion caused soda to topple over some of the pages. Giles looked horrified and Willow wiped it off, quickly, while muttering apologies to the ancient one-of-a-kind scripts. “And that’s practically foreplay gone wrong. Hardly out of their norm.” Anya smiled. No one batted an eye. “Yes, we must discount the verity of Drusilla’s death as a motivation for Willow’s transformation into, well, her malevolent alter-ego.” Giles added to Willow’s theory, though looking disgustedly at the page where little dots, had appeared from Willow’s blunder. “Speak funny words.” Xander quipped. “No go, on Drusilla stakage.” Anya patted his back. “Don’t worry, honey. One of these days, we’ll get you up to six letter words.” “But doesn’t cheesalicious count?” “In more ways than one.” Willow smiled, “Buffy, what do you think about the theory that the vampire death is irrelevant to my… er… evilness?” “The vampires didn’t do it, but the same thing that went after you is going after them.” She said pensively, looking off into the distance. “It’s not possession, because Angelus could have done it any time, but why now? And something definitely triggered you… and Spike’s been acting so weird. So could this thing be airborne? Like a magical airborne bring out the evil in me kind of thing?” “Buffy, you never said anything about Spike.” Giles frowned. “It wasn’t important.” “Well, I haven’t felt anything lately…” Willow started, but then Buffy snapped her head around to look at Giles. “Drusilla! She’s been extra sensitive to everything since I gave her that drug, weeks ago. So if we go by her mood swings, she started acting strangely the moment we got into Sunnydale.” “Sunnydale, could be the cause of much of our troubles.” Giles leaned against the bookshelf, “As you know, there isn’t another town quite like it. It is like the last of all the magic left in the Americas reside here.” “But they can’t be both good and bad, right?” Buffy said, anxiously, “I mean, there’s nothing that has both good and bad in them, right? They are either one or the other.” “Correct.” Giles then realized what Buffy was saying. His face brightened, “Especially with magic! Because Willow grew up in Sunnydale, she was born with magic. And when she’s here, she’s more susceptible to the evil forces. Especially when she’s mad. So if we get out of Sunnydale, she should go back to her normal self.” “Everything should go back to its normal self.” Buffy was extraordinarily relieved. Spike’s visions, her own dreams and the evil Willow, would all be gone, the sooner they get out of Sunnydale. She kept thinking of Spike touching her, but that would soon be gone the moment they left. “We have to leave, immediately.” She said quickly, “I won’t risk anymore lives.” “But we aren’t due in Los Angeles for a while.” Xander replied. “Here, let me see the map,” Anya grabbed for Willow’s book, “You see, we will be in Los Angeles, early by a week, but on the way up, we can visit a few towns and surprise them with a show. We can make some extra money!” She looked very excited. “Let me see that,” Buffy took the book, but then looked at Anya and Willow, “Why are the pages sticky?” * * * * * *

Chapter #11 - Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten * * * * Buffy was frantically searching through Giles’ bookcase for any reference to vampires. There were quite a few in his stash and Buffy had read most of them. But all the books weren’t what she wanted. They all dealt with vampires as she wanted to see them; evil, soulless, monsters. She was looking for a book that could teach her about vampires in relations to humans. Specifically, why would Spike kiss her? It was supposed to end after they left Sunnydale. All the thinking and wondering why and how he could do something as repulsive as touch her, but it didn’t. Willow can use her magic now and Tara is back to sleeping next to her. But little blond Buffy can’t get a fucking vampire out of her head. She picked up a book on how a vampire kills and then laughed. Spike had tried to kill her twice since they left and once almost succeeded. The first time, he sprayed blood over his collar so it shorted out temporarily. His neck burnt all the way to the muscle in one place, but he had come towards her still. She was standing too close to the cage and he grabbed her shirt, expecting her to pull away. But it was laughable as Buffy had come towards him, grabbing his shirt and pulled him against the bars. He knocked his head against the metal and went to sleep for a few hours. When he woke up, there was a new collar; Drusilla’s old one. How poetic. The second time, he caught her by surprise. Darla and Angelus were fighting in the morning of a show and Buffy needed them to be clean of bruises. While Jonathon went to get the remotes, Buffy jumped into the cage with Spike out of the right. He was lassoed by Giles and acting calm. She finally got them apart and tied when Spike, who hadn’t been resisting, suddenly tore the rope from Giles’ hands. He took either end and caught Buffy’s neck. He pulled and she punched, but he didn’t budge when she hit him over and over. It took four electric shocks from his necklace for his muscles to give way and when he did, he was still gripping the rope. Buffy didn’t whip him afterwards because she kicked his ass during the show. He couldn’t walk the next day. But that isn’t what worried her. She expected his hate. What she was worried about was the kiss. And why would a vampire touch food in a caress? Why would he seek a human’s pleasure? What would make him do it? She kept looking for the nightmare that caused his confusion in the first place, but no books were interested in vampire dreams. Only in vampire monstrosities, kills and evilness. Blood sucking, no heart beating, soulless, shameless… The kiss wasn’t even that good. Spike had pulled her face towards hers by pressing his palms to her temples and pulling her hair closer. He smashed his face onto hers. He bit her bottom lip without breaking the skin then outlined his marks with his damp tongue. All along, he was trying to speak, while salty tears fell onto her lips. Spike pressed his face so tightly to hers that she couldn’t breathe and when he let go, the rush of oxygen caused her eyes to blur. His chin scraped harshly against her cheek. The pain was red. “No no no no NO NO!” Buffy screamed and rebelled against the thought. Her hands flew to her temples to squeeze the image from her mind as her body tensed. She convulsed against the books, knocking a few from the stack. Buffy ached to think of Riley. She pleaded with her mind to remember his soft lips and carefully placed hands as to not suggest anything more than the kiss. He knew when to tilt his head, when to caress her cheek and he always closed his eyes, gently fluttering his eyelashes against hers. And his body was longingly touching hers, as if he could never get close enough to her. Spike’s eyes were independent, sorrow filled and always achingly open. She shivered. She didn’t know if Riley’s eyes were brown or green. The Vampire’s eyes were blue. * * * “Buffy, what are you doing here?” Giles touched her shoulder. Buffy jerked her head up from her original position. Her arm had a red mark from her head’s imprint and her mouth tasted like cotton. She had been thinking so long about the blond-who-must-not-be-named, that she had fallen asleep. Then he caught her. Red handed, red armed and there was no way she could ever excuse— “Are there any books on Vampire Sacrifices?” She blurted out. In her obvious discomfort for the situation, Buffy had unintentionally gotten the upper hand. Giles stared at her, slightly slack jawed and wide eyed. It took him a second before he attempted a chuckle. “Buffy. Are you afraid that Spike might kill you and get out? Because you’ve been doing a very well punishing him whenever he deserves it.” Buffy smiled and passed over a book. “I don’t know why Angelus killed Drusilla and I can’t stop thinking about it. And it could have been something that she knew, but what if it was bigger than that?” She looked at Giles, expectantly, who still hadn’t taken the book. “Do you know that there are pages missing?” “Why do you think that she was sacrificed?” “Because it doesn’t make any sense. Why would Angel, after more than a hundred years of living with her, suddenly, find that it’s in his best interest to kill his childe? What information could she have known that, after living with us for more than five years, she decided to tell? There has to be more to her death than just a simple killing.” “You, yourself, stated that she was acting strangely of late.” “Yes, but after years of torture and mayhem, a little bit of crazy suddenly makes her tell all to the bad cop? And I’ve been trying to desperately search for information on what she said. This brings me back to the book.” She still holds the book, “The page before the next few missing pages, there’s a mention of a necklace.” “Really? And I take it you are referring to the necklace that Drusilla had spoken about during your venture into the sewers?” “Yes. Take the book.” Giles slowly takes the green leather bound book into his hand and opens the page, which turns automatically to the empty hole. He looks at the page before and sure enough, there is reference to a necklace. His pulse starts to race, but then reading in depth, he started to chuckle. “The entire chapter is about necklaces and this one right here? It’s about a necklace that beacons a singing demon into taking the wearer as his wife. Why would you worry if Drusilla was taken to hell by a perpetually melodic monster?” Buffy furrowed her brow in contemplation. “I am surprised. I would think that you would be, I don’t know, curious about valuable information being stolen from you.” Giles gave the book back to Buffy. “You’re right, I was wrong to mock you. But I don’t understand why you are so infatuated with her death. We are away from the evil, we are entering into good territory and above all, we are safe. I bought that book without the pages and I haven’t been hell bent on searching for something that may bring answers to questions that we don’t need to be answered.” Buffy turned her head away. “And plus, if Drusilla was truly psychic, which is still debatable… but if she was, then wasn’t her prophecy fulfilled with the magical chains? She foresaw her death wearing one.” Buffy turned to Giles with a blinding smile. It seemed that this sense was clear and Giles breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t sure if his excuses had been entirely plausible. “Listen, I feel so foolish. I am going to clean up here, is that alright with you?” “Do you need any help?” “No…” Buffy smiled sheepishly, “I think I’ve done enough and then to drool all over your books, well, it’s my mess.” “Alright then, I’ll see you out in a bit then.” Buffy wiped off her silly smile the moment he left the bunker. She placed all the books back in order, even the green one. And when that was done, she started going through his desk papers. Thinking only of Spike and his latest attempt to kill her. A/N- I'll post another chapter tomorrow because it's thanksgiving weekend and I am totally bored. AF

Chapter #12 - Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven (Happy Thanksgiving!) ******** “I didn't come back wrong?” ”No, you're the same Buffy.” Tara said lightly, “With a deep tropical cellular tan.” ”You must have missed something. Will you check again?” The urgency in Buffy’s voice surprised her. ”Buffy, I-I promise, there's nothing wrong with you.” And the look on her face was too painful. Tara didn’t understand what was going on, or the feelings that she kept hidden. And suddenly, Buffy felt so old. It was Tara’s naiveté that made her break down. It was her innocence that made her cry. ”There has to be! This just can't be me, it isn't me.” Fat tears rolled down her cheeks, “Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me?” ”You mean hit you.” Oh god, she still didn’t understand. This thing, between them was so horrible. Buffy could not rely on her morals of black and white anymore and it physically made her sick. Buffy met Tara's eyes, but only for a moment, then looks away. Tara frowns as she begins to understand. “Oh. Oh, huh. Really.” Words now tumbled out of her mouth. She couldn’t control it anymore. And suddenly, she couldn’t remember what she was saying; only that Tara needed to understand. “He's everything I hate. He's everything that ... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time that I ever feel anything is when ... Don't tell anyone, please.” ”I won't.” ”The way they would look at me ... I just couldn't...” The perception of her friends and the fear that they wouldn’t get it. ”I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that.” ”Why can't I stop? Why do I keep letting him in?” Buffy whispered, barely able to get the questions out. ”Do you love him?” She couldn’t think of that. If she did, then she would have to recognize the truth. That this need for him was growing dangerously into something like affection. “I-It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good and and he does love you. A-and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a really hard time and you're...” “What?” She cried, “Using him? What's okay about that?” He was better than her, he didn’t deserve her. But what if he were to break this off, what if… ”It's not that simple.” ”It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong, please...” Oh God, why couldn’t everything be simple! Buffy starts to sob uncontrollably. Not just the fat, rolling tears, but convulsions of depression. “Please don't forgive me, please...” She begs between gasps, “Please don't...” ******** Buffy woke up with a gasp. She couldn’t breathe. She was air filled but she couldn’t breathe. Desperate attempts to clear anything and gain calm became futile as she looked around in the darkness. She couldn’t see anything, her heart was racing and she shook. Buffy could feel her body go out of control and crumble as she fell off her bed. Slow, jerky movements allowed her to grasp the wall of her compartment and pull herself up next to the foot of Willow’s bunk. In her mind, she couldn’t comprehend how Willow hadn’t woken up, or for the entire train to come running. It was a day after they came to Los Angeles and her mind was so focused upon the upcoming performing days, that she hadn’t had time to slip. It was so busy, that she couldn’t even congratulate herself on being good. The demons had gone into their individual cages, the tents were up and the lights were flickering. She tried to grasp these chores as they ran through her head, but they slipped through as the memory and vision returned. She felt pity, heartbroken and sympathetic towards a vampire who had risked everything and the guilt. The guilt of longing to comfort him, the guilt of causing his pain. Buffy felt guilt over a vampire. And then the wrongness, an element of entitlement and confusion ran over her shaking limbs. These memories couldn’t have happened, it was only a dream, it was only a dream, and it was only a dream. She was crawling towards the door until she found the handle and found herself on the other side. Silently, she closed the compartment, stumbled down the stairs and breathed the sandy outdoor air. Standing at the edge of Los Angeles, she laughed at the translation. She was at the edge of angels. Or at least their city. Buffy was at the edge of something. Her laughing turned to coughing, which caused her breath to stop again. And in a moment of desperation, she threw up. Emptying her stomach onto the sands and collapsed. ******* “Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Am I wrong?” The water was dry, but it was raining. Or it was raining insects. Or insects were attacking her. “Slayer, as much as I would like to gallantly pick you up, lay you on a bed of roses and suck the blood out of your beating heart, I have to tell you that you have to wake up.” More mosquito bites. She opened an eye slowly and looked up. She was in a tent. To her right, there was darkness and to her left, there was light. Buffy felt as if her head were going to be split down the center, with two sides of her going to heaven and hell. Hah. On the edge of angels. Something hard hit the side of her head and she turned her head towards the darkness. Something made a noise maybe of relief, maybe of distain. “Slayer, close that damned flap before you fucking get another vampire killed.” Slowly, Buffy moved towards the light and closed the cloth tent so that she was on the inside and nearest to the voice. Her eyes adjusted quickly and found herself face to face with cheekbones. She scrambled backwards, so fast and disorganized that she tripped. Not enough to fall down but enough to catch the attention of the vampire. He smiled. “So I did frighten you with my attempts to kill you.” But his eyebrows furrowed slightly, “How unusual.” “Spike.” Buffy grumbled hoarsely, barely above a whisper, “what did you do to me?” “I just threw a bit of sand on top of you. To revive you from your not dead but very smelly state.” He squinted his eyes, “Have you been drinking? I’ve been smelling vomit since you got here.” Acidic and strong, she tasted the inside of her mouth, which was hot and dry. She got her flask of water and sipped a little before spitting the rest out. She painfully put the flask next to her and crouched down once more. “Why am I here?” “Beats me Slayer. In the middle of the night, I was happy thinking about the newest way to off you. And it dealt with a nice little suffering for Angelus too. And then you come in smelling disgusting. When you looked up, after I had gotten done screaming at you to get out, you just collapsed.” He shrugged. “I gotta say… throwin’ sand at you made my night. I just kept thinking if you would just come a little bit closer, I could grab your hair—” “Be quiet.” “What did you tell me Slayer?” His head twitched slightly in surprise. “Just. Shut. Up.” She breathed. Her body legs were dead and her head swam about like fishes in a glass jar. Two alpha fishes killing one another. She placed her hands over her head to block out the sound. “I will not—” “Spike. I’m not—” “You can’t—” Buffy snapped. “If you love me, you will shut up.” “What did you just say?” Spike’s voice was a soft rumble. His entire body had frozen and Buffy could see the shiver run through his entire body. “I… I…” She stuttered, “Oh my god. I didn’t… did not mean…” Spike slammed his body against the bars and Buffy repelled further back. He held them tight and pressed his chest against the metal, pulling them apart as hard as he could. Even though Buffy knew he wouldn’t get out, even with the magic, even with his strength, she thought the metal would stay. But she was still scared. And the hair went up on her arms as she saw his face contort in livid anger. “So this is what it is coming down to.” Spike growled. “Do you want to make any more comments about how I’m a monster, I don’t have any feelings and soulless? Because you can. I am a vampire, I’m evil.” He tried to put pride in his words, but they came out dead and painful. Buffy was silent. “And you are the good guy, showing the world that we are dangerous, but not so dangerous that a little fluffy cheerleader can’t beat the shit out of me with the help of –” He tried to break the chains of his necklace but they wouldn’t budge, “OF THESE GOD DAMNED INFERNAL FUCKING MECHINISMS!!! I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!!! GET OUT!!!” His voice lowered to a purring undertone, “I would rather break my own neck that to sit here and have you torment me about a fantasy, a sick and twisted dream that keeps popping into my head every time I smell you near by.” Buffy muttered something his vampire hearing could barely pick up. “Repeat what you said!” He demanded, in complete shock, “Repeat what you said to me, to my face, right now!” Buffy jerked her head up angrily and pushed herself up until she was standing only inches from his reach. “You big baby. You have reoccurring fantasies. Well, then take back your fucking spell that did this and we can get out of here alive.” Her eyes flashed dangerously, “Be a man. Because proving that you can commit suicide is really making me scared. Ooooh, Spikey wants to off himself.” She took a step closer. “Well, Spike, I sure as hell wouldn’t cry.” His arm flew out and Buffy blocked it. He tried to hit her again and she blocked it again. He hit and hit and she kept blocking until he stopped for a mere second. That’s when Buffy took the palm of her hand and hit him in the stomach, he flew back until he hit the wall of the cage with such force, that he knocked one of the steel reinforcements slightly loose. Spike then pulled with every ounce of strength he had, so that it came further and further out of its socket. Right before it broke, Buffy was on the other side. She punched him, he punched her and then she kicked him. She pulled the pin back into place and with her bare hands, squeezed until the socket was in place once more. Spike jerked on the pin, it wouldn’t budge. He jerked it again, still nothing. He kept jerking, as Buffy took a step forward in order to tell him that he would never win. That he would always be a slave to his demon. But he surprised her. His hand moved so fast she didn’t know it was near her until it had caught her shirt. Spike pulled her forward and knocked her head against the pole once. Buffy stumbled backwards in pain, sitting down hard. Spike then pulled with every amount of strength he had until the pin bent backwards just enough, so that he could push it to the side and climb through the cage. And stand at Buffy’s feet. “Now tell me what you said.” “No.” “If you just tell me what you said, I would consider letting you die. It’s about a fifty/fifty chance here. One, become immortal or two, die.” He leaned in closer “I can hear your heart speed up when I talk about becoming a vampire.” “No.” Buffy reacted and tried to punch him, but he caught both arms. Spike pulled her up until she was standing. Her head was still throbbing from the hit and Spike didn’t make things better when he hit her again. Her knees crumbled underneath her but she didn’t pass out. Score one for Buffy. Spike was intent upon the final point. “You see, I’ve been planning for days on how to get out. I had it all planned out, where you would come and open it up and I would get into a bloody fight, take the controller from your hands, break it against your skull, then skip off into the night to tell all your little friends that you were dead. Then I would kill them too. All single handed like. And then walk into the bloody darkrise.” Buffy could vaguely hear a box open, then her wrists became closer and closer together until they were painfully tight. With no breath, he came inches away from her ear. Buffy jumped when he whispered. “This spontaneous reality is so much better.”

Chapter #13 - Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve: * * * * * * * * Buffy was tied up in the cage with Spike. Her head had been hit so many times; she didn’t doubt she looked like a walking bruise. Except she wasn’t walking. Buffy was struggling against the chains that had kept the free vampire bound so many times. And couldn’t help but see the irony. Spike was humming he was so happy. He had a goofy smile on his face and was smiling from ear to ear each time she tried to twist her wrist in another position to get out. She was hanging from her arms, while her legs were tied in a permanently kneeling position. Originally it was eerie and creepy, but now, it was just annoying. Her arms went to sleep again, causing Buffy to sigh in exacerbation. “So when are you going to do it? Giles and Willow are bound to look for me any time. Therefore, you had better hurry because they could come in any second.” “I will Slayer, but I am waiting for you to decide whether you are going to become a vampire or a corpse after I kill you. What did you say earlier?” Oh that. Buffy was mortified that he had heard just enough to know that it was important. She also made a big deal about it, therefore, he obviously felt it was of great relevance. Which it wasn’t. It was terrifying that she said it. However, she doubted it would change his mind about killing her. It was just something that she would rather die than repeat… but she was calculating if she wanted to be revived. “Come on, Slayer, I’m getting horny.” Buffy stopped struggling to stare at him. Spike noted her lack of movement and smiled. “You really didn’t think I was going to kill you without getting a taste.” “I thought you were going to kill me, suck my blood, then I would kick your ass. Again. Only without a soul.” “Nope.” He got a grin on his face as he walked around to her back. “You see, Slayer, I will not kill you until you beg for mercy. And at that moment, you will tell me everything you have ever wished for and dreamt.” His breath was on the back of her neck. And she felt his lips brush against her spine. She remembered their last kiss. “No.” “You have put me through hell, for years of my life. And although I adore a nice fiery pit ripe with chaos, I don’t enjoy being tormented, mocked, or humiliated. Now pet.” He ripped the back of her shirt open. Buffy tensed. She knew that it was her duty, frickin’ calling to kill, torture, maim, etc. vampires. But at this moment she just wanted him off of her. She would do anything to get him off of her. “I’m sorry.” Buffy whispered. Her voice cracked. Spike stopped and swung her around. His face was dangerously close as he grabbed her chin and forced it to look up at hers. “What did you say?” They were so close to one another, Buffy wasn’t surprised when their lips touched. It felt like astonishment, their mouths resting against one another. And then someone moved. It was the discovery of a lifetime. Spike let go of her chin and moved his hand around her neck and pulled her in closer. Buffy was still tied up, but her lips moved against his as Spike leaned into her. She felt the pressure on her hands increase and she pulled with every muscle. The chains on her wrists gave way then broke. Buffy tensed, preparing herself to fall, but Spike caught her back with his hand and fell with her. She felt them get closer when she hit the ground and then slip into place. Spike had caught her before she hit her head. These were atomic kisses. He was on top of her and around her all at once. Buffy felt him tear the rest of her bonds off. She brought her knee up to rest upon the back of his leg. His legs sandwiched hers, touching her inner thigh, while his hand was still around her back. Pulling her closer, craning her neck to the absolute breaking point and then delving deeper with his tongue. If kissing is good, sex must be willing to die for, Spike thought. He didn’t know who started the kiss, but at this moment, he had a small blond who reacted to his every touch with passionate responses. His hand touched the ripped edge of the shirt and went beneath to her skin. When he deepened his kiss, she curled her arms around him tighter and arched her back until he was going to fall. He felt her rub against his leg and brought his knee in closer. It was the first time she pulled away from his kissing, only to gasp and increase the friction between them. Spike grinned and her eyes opened. It was electricity, or magic, or memories. Then Buffy pushed off her leg and flipped him on his back, straddling him. She kissed him as she raised his arms above his head and almost lost control when he moved underneath her. Her shirt kept falling forward but she didn’t care. It was a different kind of battle but so many of the elements were the same. Buffy intensified her kiss until he barely slowed and she attacked. Buffy grabbed the chains near her palm and wrapped them around the top of his hand. She pushed off her right foot and flipped him over her, slamming his body down upon his back while keeping both hands on the chains. She felt the impact of his body on the ground, then used the same chain to loop around his wrists securely. Pulled, using her Slayer strength and felt the links strain at the pressure. She was free. “What are you going to do with me?” Spike whispered as she led him to Drusilla’s cage. Programmed, brand new and silent. Buffy didn’t say a word. He didn’t struggle as she walked him into the barred, open pen. He didn’t move as she pressed the buttons to confirm maximum security or when she closed the large door which would have held his escape. When he finally moved, it was to shake the now loosened chains from his wrists and hold them out to the Slayer. She took them without touching him and dropped them next to her. Three feet away from where he stood, with arms crossed. They stood there, staring at one another until Buffy could no longer take the incriminating silence. “Did you put a spell on me?” “No.” He paused for a moment and then repeated. “No. I didn’t.” “When did Drusilla start acting strange?” “A little before Sunnyhell.” “Has Angelus been acting strangely?” “No.” Buffy nodded and was silent for a moment before she stumbled over her next words. “Ok. I… um… have been looking through Giles’ collection of books on demonic sacrifices because Drusilla’s death wasn’t random. I think that Angelus had seen that she had mentally changed. She was speaking in riddles more than usual and I think they were somehow prophetic. I found a book that has an entire chapter on amulets, which matched with her earlier prophecy. However, there are pages missing from his copy. So I talked to Jonathon, who said that he would hitch a ride to Sacramento and get an original copy.” “You are investigating my vampire girlfriend’s death?” “Yes.” “Oh.” A beat. “Thanks.” “Um…You’re welcome.” Silence. “Who do you think did this?” “Maybe, Angelus. He’s the one who didn’t want her talking. But he’s not really for the big picture. So I am sure there’s someone else.” “Why don’t you just beat it out of him?” “I have. He liked it too much.” Another beat. “How did you get Jonathon to pick up your book?” “X-Men collection for sale in the same place.” “What place?” “It’s an underground bookstore.” “In Sacramento?” “Yeah.” “I’ve been there. Nice place before the war, brimming with magical books. Surprise it survived the book burnings.” “It’s supposed to be really underground from what I’ve heard. Before it was just a basement, now it’s buried a mile underground. The rare books collection survived because D’Hoffryn needed them for his own personal business.” “When is he getting back?” “Who? D’Hoffryn? Oh. Jonathon is coming back tomorrow morning. I’ll get it from him after the show.” “Good.” “Slayer… what the hell is going on?” There was a strange look of longing on his face. “I can’t get you out of my mind. And I know you are going through the same thing.” Buffy looked at him without an expression. “This is wrong.” She walked out of the tent, her ripped shirt flashing patches of naked skin. **********

Chapter #14 - Chapter Thirteen

13 "I am here to tell you a story unlike any other you have heard before. A story cannot be told without weeping. I shudder to even think of this tale. But I must. For it holds a history, a lesson and a moral for all those who convince themselves they are brave enough to listen. And those who do will become wiser men for it..." "Fifteen minutes Buffy!" Willow whispered. Buffy leaned out from the crack in the curtain to smile at the red head. She had no idea what was going on. The innocent one whispered, "Did you look out in the crowd? It's another full house." "Isn't it always?" the blond grinned. "Yes, but this time it's an entire stadium, not just a tent." Willow smiled knowingly, "And there is talk of journalists and maybe D'Hoffryn himself!" Buffy looked to her right, and saw them bringing the vampires out onto stage. Darla and Angel were laying on the floor, looking as if they expected grapes and wine glasses filled with blood. But the Slayer only had eyes for the one who stood, looking straight at her. She looked away and back at Willow who continued the conversation as if nothing were different. "... so do your best! And break a leg!" "You too." Buffy smiled distractedly. When she looked back towards the cage of vampires, it had moved and was gone from her sight. It had to be a disease of some sort. All she could possibly think about was Spike. She had no revelations, no insight on her behavior and it scared her to think she didn't have any control. Not over her body and not over her future. She was taunt with fright... and yet strangely excited about seeing him again. In battle. ********** Spike was horny as hell. Nothing could consol him. The memory of Buffy running through is head intoxicated him with her scent and visions. All he could think about was touching her and heightening both of their emotions to such a climax that his hairs would stand up on their ends and his toes would curl and his mind would explode. And that was just the kiss. Think of what sex would do. To fight and battle over dominance, to claim every part of her body, to watch her squirm underneath his ministrations and to know that she reacted because. In this manner. Fear and excitement mingling in one. Oh GOD was he horny. Spike started to pace as the curtain rose. Angelus to his right. Darla to his left. And he would be the last to fight her. ************ Riley was grinning like a mad man as he sat down in the front seat with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. He couldn't wait to surprise Buffy with his romantic night out. He knew she was going through a hard time and their extra distance didn't help. However, he also knew that he had taken two trains and traveled all night to see her. He sold his leather jacket for this front seat ticket. And that was all that mattered. He watched as she grinned, manically at the crowd, gave her little speech and acted as if she could kill anybody. But he knew the real side, the softer more vulnerable side. The side he loved. That mewled when he touched her and whispered to him in the middle of the night. She couldn't kill anything... unless it was soulless and had no breath. Therefore, it deserved to die. He grinned back at her, wondering if she could see him, then laughed at his giddiness. Of course she couldn't. But he would make her see him. Tonight. ************ "Mrs. Summers!" Giles exclaimed with delight, "And Dawn. I am so glad to see you both! If I may ask, does Buffy know that you are here?" "Sort of, I had told her that we would try to make it out here. We really didn't get much time to see her at home and she's only two hours away by train. But I know she was very distracted before she left and probably forgot." The mother shook her head, "I cant believe how busy everyone is tonight! Everything sold out, so we slipped in with the help of Jonathon and see if we could watch from the side." "Oh of course!" He exclaimed, "Here, let me wash up for a second and then I will escort you to the balcony seats. You will watch with Willow and Tara. They are doing the protection and safety spells right now." "Mom, I don't want to watch. I've seen it, like, a thousand times." Dawn looked back towards the door. "Can I go back and hang out with Jonathon?" "Would that be alright?" Joyce winced with a smile. Giles nodded, knowingly. "Just as long as you don't get in the way." Dawn grinned, popped her gum and then half ran, half walked away. "Well, I guess I will go to the balcony seats." She paused for a second and then asked hesitantly, "Will you join me?" Giles gave her a small grin. "For as long as I can." ************** "So, what do you do?" Dawn asked/ She has gum, Jonathon thought. And she's popping it. Does that mean she likes me? Is my hair ok? Oh, god. What if I start talking about Star Wars? Does she like Star Wars? What about the Force? Can I make her go away with the Force? But do I want her to go away? "Um. I push buttons." Oh god, am I starting to sweat? I hate it when I sweat. I get hot and... um... sweaty. The doctor says that it's not a big deal, just that I repel deodorant. Does she smell it? Damn the doctor! He should have given me the stuff that causes cancer so I didn't have to go through this! Why is she looking away from me? Can she not look at me because I'm so repulsive? Am I ugly? "Cool. What are the blinking lights?" Jonathon jumped off his seat and pressed the light while putting on a pair of headphones, only to hear Xander's screaming voice on the other end. It must be the pixies. Xander hates the pixies. "Shit! Yeah, Xander. Sorry, I got distracted. Yeah. Don't worry about them. They bite, but it's not infectious. Yeah. Sorry!" He looked up at Dawn who looked very interested in the conversation, "Listen this is serious work. You can't talk to me when I'm working." "Whatever." Dawn rolled her eyes and got a magazine out of her enormous purse. "I just figured that you would eventually die because the vampires hate you so much. And then I could take over your job and get out of Sunnyhell." Jonathon straightened up. "The vampires talk to you?" "Duh." He leaned towards Dawn. "Um. What else do they say about me?" ************ Darla was easy. For some reason, she just wasn't a challenge. A few kicks and punches, then she was gone. It was almost boring, Buffy thought. So when Angelus came around, she thought she would take it easy on him. However, he apparently had a different thought. When he sauntered in, Buffy found him calm and cocky. His normal self. However, instead of circling, getting used to the tension and waiting for the adrenaline, he pounced. Unprepared, Buffy punched him awkwardly. He flipped her and grabbed two bottles of blood in the process. Buffy smacked against the ground, rolled over, and got back up in one fluid motion. He drank them with satanic relish, and then smashed them against the ground. Buffy realized she would have to pull out her game, one that would leave her exhausted when facing Spike. In her mind, she calculated how exhausted she would become, then decided she was pro-benzedrine. She took out her flask of water. She looked to her right for a brief moment, to see if Giles was standing by with his glare. But she didn't see him. In a swift motion, the envy of all con artists, she took the two pills taped to the inside. Then stared at Angelus. He had a grin the size of Texas upon his face because he had seen what she had done. Buffy shivered as they started to circle once more. He lunged at her and she jumped back. Angelus laughed and then twitched again. This time, Buffy didn't swerve from her original path. "How long does it take to kick in?" the vampire asked wickedly. "Usually after I beat your ass." The Slayer responded. Then flew at him raining down punches and throws. He blocked and blocked until the blond did a back flip to gain more distance between them. Angelus was sporting a growing bruise on his cheek and Buffy wiped the blood off her lip. Angelus had taken another vial of blood. Buffy needed to get him near the cage, so she ran forward, bent down and did a low round house kick to get him off balance. Angelus was ready though. He took the glass vial and smashed it against Buffy's side. She didn't have much time to react, as the pain started crawling up her hip. The crowd gasped in horror as blood bloomed across her side and dripped down to the floor. They watched as the Vampire Trainer crouched down on the ground, near Angelus' legs. As he came forward, she continued to stayed low. And then when he was almost on top of her... her hand went out, she grabbed his balls and squeezed, digging her nails into his sensitive flesh. "I call this the pill popper." She squeezed his testicles harder. "And my meds haven't even started." A collective gasp from the male members of the audience and a small mewl from Angelus told her that she had done well. She used her other hand to hit him in the stomach with such force, he stumbled back into the cage, hit the side bars. And then collapsed. The women applauded with fantastic passion. The men groaned. It was Spike's turn. ******* "That was awesome!" Dawn squealed, "Does this monitor have a rewind button, cause I am dying to see that again!" "Oh my god," Jonathon whimpered. ******* Riley was shocked. All around him were women screaming, men crying, and then he was in the center, holding his balls protectively in the cups of his hands. The woman who had so carelessly grabbed the vampire's genitals and smashed them into submission had also lovingly touched his. He really couldn't speak. ********** "Ouch Ahn!" "Sorry! But Xander, I need to get this cleaned!" "Damned pixies! With their biting teeth! I hate them! I just hate them!" "I know, honey." "Xander!" A deep voice called from behind him. The wounded man turned around, "How are you doing?" "Ben Wilkinson. What an unexpected surprise." Xander's eyes rolled to the ceiling. Anya was standing next to him, putting more bandages on his shoulder. She gave Ben one look over, then went back to her work. "Anya, D'Hoffryn sends his love." "Of course he does. Now what do you want? I want to have sex once I'm done." "I want to see Buffy and tell her some bad news." "Is everything ok?" "Oh yes. Business wise. But I'm afraid that our relationship has hit a rocky point." He looked at the couple, "You know how it gets." "She's on stage right now. I think she just grabbed the vampire's balls." Anya smiled at his shocked expression, "Why don't you wait in her dressing room until she's done. I am sure you are the first thing she wants to see." ******* "Wow." Joyce said in a reflective tone. Giles' eyebrows were sky high and devoid of glasses. "Yes. That... ahem... was—" "GO BUFFY!" Willow screamed, "You go girl!" "Right on!" Tara shouted. "quite impressive." "I take it you didn't teach her that." Joyce remarked. Giles cleaned his lenses with passion and vigor. "Certainly not, I don't know—" "Wahooo! I am HOT that was so feminist!" Willow squealed. "I love you!" Tara panted. "I love you too, baby." And they kissed. Passionately. "Would you just let the third murdering vampire out of the magical circle please?" ******* ***** **** Spike stood there and looked at Buffy. She stared back at him. Despite the noise and pain, they both felt as if they were the only two people in the world. It didn't stop them from killing one another but the battle had been redefined. Spike could smell her from twenty feet away. She smelled like sex and blood. Her hair was matted to her head, her shirt had a dark stain of blood, yet she was still standing. Why wasn't she moving? Why wasn't she fucking him right now? He moved towards her. The effects of the Benzedrine started moving in trickles. Buffy could feel the air getting warmer and her movements getting faster. The pain was going away. She looked down for a second, to pull out a long shard of glass from her side, barely gasping when it hit the floor. It didn't hurt, only it looked like it should. Buffy looked back at Spike, who had gotten closer. She wanted him. Hit. Duck. Hit. Punch. Touch. Duck. Swerve. Block. Block. Hit. Punch. Swerve. Block. They were moving so fast that they were just reacting. The crowd had stopped focusing on the faux pas of grabbing balls to watch the blurs. Duck. Hit. Hit. Punch. Swerve. Duck. Punch. Caress. Smack. Punch. Hit. Punch. Smack. Buffy back flipped and Spike ran after her. He grabbed her thigh, and pulled her closer. She hit his chest with one arm and grabbed his shoulder. His arm grabbed hers and he kicked her in the stomach. She pulled him down to smack him against the floor. He rolled and let go, ducking underneath her foot, which whipped around. His hand smacked her in the back. Punch. Smack. Duck. Hit. Each touch hurt and yet, neither could stop. It told him he was alive and it told her she was numb. The war between them raged on. Spike was two seconds away from throwing her down on the ground and having sex in front of the entire auditorium. Buffy wanted him to submit so that she could throw him against the wall. Finally, after minutes of constant contact... Hit. Smack. Bruise. Grab. Punch. Block. Duck. Swerve. Hit. Hit. Hit. Stroke. Hit They let go. Spike stood there, in absolute shock that he was alone. And Buffy, did what she did best. She grabbed his shoulders and kicked him, propelling him towards the cage opening, where he landed near Angelus. The audience roared. The curtains closed. The show was done. ****************

Chapter #15 - Chapter Fourteen

**************** 14 Riley couldn't wait to see Buffy. He practically ran back stage, where he was unfortunately stopped by some guard who didn't know that he was the Slayer's boyfriend. He had to explain for a while who he was and then who the flowers were for. Finally, he was allowed in. His heart was beating fast as he knocked on her dressing room. When no one answered, he tentatively opened the door... Only to have it opened by another man, who was dressed in an impeccably tailored suit. "Who are you?" The man asked. He had a slight sneer on his face that mimicked the arc of his eyebrow. Riley wiped off his sweaty hand on his jeans and held it out to the other man. "My name is Riley Finn, I am Buffy's friend." He smiled. The man looked him up and down with a facial expression that told Finn he was dirt. But then his expression changed to one of understanding. He smiled and waved to the country boy. "Come on in! Sit down. I am sure we are all waiting for the infamous Buffy Summers to arrive. I'm sorry that the place is so crowded. You know how many flowers she gets." Riley took it as a friendly gesture and walked in. The place was like a flower shop, or a hospital or something infinitely worse. Blooming flowers covered every part of the room, so that no wall could be seen. The only thing that wasn't growing was the mirror, covered in lipstick notes. Riley quickly glanced at the notes, and the comments. Some of which were obviously sexual. One was written by the man in the suit. He felt desperately out of place. He looked at the man with wide eyes. "Are all of these for her?" "Apparently, you don't visit her often." Another jab followed by a slight chuckle. The man shook his head and shrugged. "I'm sorry, I forgot my manners. My name is Ben Wilkinson." "Are you her manager?" "Yes. But that's not why I am writing a note on her mirror." He shrugged. "I know. Not all good things can last. I am here to break up with Buffy." Riley's heart dropped into his stomach. Roaring in his ears. And then. Silence. "Where would she be right now?" He heard himself say. He watched as Ben Wilkinson, the fucking son of a bitch, kept talking forever. He wanted to rip his head off his shoulders. Riley wanted to tear his suit to pieces and eat the flowers until the room was nothing but a closet for broken items. Then he would see Buffy, scream at her and shake her until she admitted that she loved him. "What time is it? Oh, yes. Then tending to the vampires." "I am going to find her." "Good. I really don't have all day. The pens are back behind the big tents. You can't miss them." Ben watched the man walk out. "Cunt." He said to the air and sat down to eat her box of chocolates. ************** Angelus and Darla were locked inside their individual tents. Buffy took the last vampire and touched her hand to the sensory lock and watched as it opened. She had two men on either side of the vampire and her left hand had the cell phone like remote. Buffy nodded as the cage opened, signifying that the men should unlock his handcuffs. Buffy opened the door and he walked unresisting to the cage where she didn't close the door. She placed the remote on the table, and then followed him in. He watched her as she moved closer towards him. The cage door closed. They were alone. Buffy looked down at her feet, with thoughts running through her head. Scenarios and images that pulled her two ways. She wrapped her hands around her arms and pressed her chin to her chest. "Buffy." Spike whispered, coming towards her. "Don't move." Her voice cracked, "Just don't do anything" "Alright." He said softly, but his calm was breaking. Spike wouldn't kill her. But god, everything in his body was aching to do it. To softly take her neck into his mouth and suck until she had nothing left. "Don't talk!" She snapped. "Not talking, pet." "Stop it!" "I didn't. Do. Anything." "You are coming closer!" Her voice was hoarse. Her resolve was breaking. "I can't do this if you move." "Well, I can't do this if you don't look at me!" Spike retorted sharply. Buffy's head shot up and wordlessly stared at his outburst. "Bloody hell! It's called free will." "I am not going to stand for this!" Buffy's eyes blazed, fumbling towards the door. "I never wanted this!" "Yes you did." Spike said, taking a step forward. "I can smell it." "No. I didn't." She shook her head adamantly. "I am a good girl. I am a Slayer. I should—" "Listen to your body." His voice had gotten low. "You'll kill me." Her eyes looked wildly around, "this is your plan." "I won't kill you if you fuck me." She had nowhere to go. Her back was against the bars, and his head was lowering near her lips. "I hate you." She whispered. "I'm only doing this because... because I haven't had sex in days." "The feeling is mutual, bitch." Spike dipped his head low and touched her lips. She mewled, putting her arms around his neck, and leaning into him. Buffy felt him grab a hold of her thighs and she wrapped her legs around his waist to get closer to him. He put his hand against the wall in support, pushing her against it, crushing her so that almost no breath would come. All during this time, her lips were hot against his, her tongue brushing against his bottom lip; his hand was up her shirt her breast molding to the curve of his palm as he gently flicked her nipples with his fingernails. The pills were fully active. Her pupils were dilated with desire and drugs. She needed him more than air as she kissed him. ********* "Hello? Buffy?" Riley asked to the dark inside of the tent. His eyes had not yet adjusted to the inside, as he stepped away from the light. "Hello." A man answered back. "It would be best if you were to shut the curtain if you don't want to get in trouble." "Where is the light switch?" Finn asked, as he fumbled around the nearest table. His hand touched something that was heavy, he picked it up and realized it was a hand gun. He flinched away from it He carefully patted the rest until he found something that felt like a switch, attached to a wire. He clicked it and a single light bulb lit over a cage. Where a man stood inside. "Hello." The man smiled, Riley squinted, thinking he had seen him somewhere. Then stumbled back when he realized it was the vampire he saw his girlfriend fight earlier. He searched the table until he found a bottle of water, and held it up. "It's holy water!" He yelled. "You aren't used to this place, are you?" The man chuckled. Angelus? Was that his name? "No. I am looking for Buffy. Where is she?" Angelus grinned as if it was his birthday. "I will tell you if you answer two questions. Simple and easy." "Alright." He thought that vampires must be like sphinx or something. Possibly. Maybe. "First. What is your relation to Buffy." "I'm... her friend." He said hesitantly. Angelus smiled. "I take it you are more than that." I can smell her all over you. Angelus thought. This is going to be fantastic. "She's very popular." Riley mumbled. "Yes. She is. And she always will be." Angelus sat down cross legged. "You work on a farm of some sorts." "Yes. A vineyard. What has this got to do with anything?" He asked, getting impatient. "Riley, my good friend, did you know she makes a minimum of twenty thousand dollars every show?" Angelus smiled when Riley's face dropped. "They are always sold out." Riley was silent. "I bet you were virgins when you met." Angelus smiled, "I can see what she saw in you." *************** Her hands were on his back, pulling him closer. She grabbed the top of his shirt, and ripped, so she could gain some more access to his skin and then rubbed her hands across the top of his back. His muscles were taunt and she could feel the power coiled in his shoulders. Spike grabbed the top of her pant zipper, and yanked it down. She had clutched the top bar, and pulled herself up so he could yank her leather pants off in one swift motion. Spike kissed her roughly, bruising and cutting her already tender lip with little nips of his teeth. Buffy couldn't close her mouth with shock. Pressing her against the wall, he grabbed her thigh, and she lifted it up to his hip instinctually. The vampire kissed her lips, her chest and moved to her breast. He pulled her closer, needing to touch her everywhere, slowly, teasingly; he let his hand drift down her body. Buffy opened her legs in anticipation. He pulled her closer, as one hand slipped down. Slipping his fingers along her wet slit, he teased the breath out of her by just brushing her clit. Buffy's head jerked back the moment he touched her and her body bucked forward for more friction. Spike kissed her neck as his fingers moved in circles, feeling Buffy's body tremble and move against him. He heard her gasp and increased the pressure, his pants were painfully tight. Spike caught her bottom lip with his teeth and kissed her soundly, his tongue mingling with some of the residual blood. The moment he tasted the faint underlying of Slayer blood, it was the moment when Buffy climaxed. Spike felt her body tense, feet curl, and her tightening grip against him. She was more passionate then he would ever have imagined, responding to every nip, every touch, causing fire to run through his veins. She mewled against his shoulder, her tousled hair becoming more chaotic as she ran her fingers through her blond locks. When she kissed his collarbone, Spike couldn't hold it any longer. *************** "So... you know everything that's going on in here?" Dawn asked curiosity laced in her tone. "Yup. You could call me the Wash of D'Hoffryn's Circus." "What?" "You know, Hoban Washburne to Firefly, as me, to the Circus?" "Um. No." "Right. Well, I could tell you everything that's going on here." Dawn straightened up in interest. "Oh. So what's going on?" "Well," Jonathon started to plug in different wires to different places, "Your mom is in Giles' dressing room. I think...wait. It sounds like they are kissing!" Dawn looked disgusted. "Don't be an idiot. They totally would not be hooking up at this moment. I mean, what idiot would do that when his daughter could be listening in?" Jonathon quickly changed the chords around and switched the topic. "Ben Wilkinson is still in Buffy's dressing room." "What a pervert. Buffy told me all about him. He's like, totally in love with her but she's definitely too good for him." She flipped her hair. Jonathon, for a second, was amazed with the hair flip. It was so feminine yet, had so much power. Like Leia's buns. Oh, if he could only touch it... "ANYWAYS!" He said loudly, "Then Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya are signing autographs, and... woah. That's not right." He looked at the numbers again, then started rapidly pressing buttons. "Giles! Giles! Can you hear me? I know you are busy with Buffy's Mom, but this is really important! NO IT CAN'T WAIT! Someone is talking to Angelus! You need to get down there now! I'm calling the rest, just GO!" ************** "Where is she?" Riley said softly. "Is this the first time you've ever seen her perform? I bet you both go out into a field, both meeting in the middle and have plenty of sex. Which makes you more and more in love with her, but it's always her who pushes you away. Unable to compromise." The vampire tisked, "Now, is that any way to be in a relationship?" "Where is she?" Riley rumbled. "Oh, she's out in the back, two tents over. She's trying to tame a wild beast at the moment. One that is much more physical than I am." Angelus smiled and pointed to the gun on the table. "You should bring it. For your protection." Angel paused to chuckle for a moment. "You know, I hope she's using protection. Though nothing is SUPPOSED to happen. But it has been known, from time to time... Just think of the consequences! Woah! Talk about ruined future!" "I can take care of myself." "Not when your girlfriend is fucking a vampire against a wall." ******* Spike yanked down his zipper, pulled out his rock hard cock. Without speaking, he rammed it deep inside of her. The pressure was unbelievable, every spot pressed against his member, causing him to feel lost within her. Buffy grunted at the impact, taking the shock and the pain that she would expect from screwing a vampire. The drugs were wearing thin and the vampire would be allowed his kicks. But then, unexpectedly, came a growing pleasure more toxic than any drug. She was so surprised at the feelings he invoked, she nearly fell to the floor. But his arms secured her safety and his body pinned her against the stable bars. Over and over he plunged deep inside, his chest rumbling with purrs as he nibbled her neck getting closer and closer to her climax. She was so near coming, the walls in her hot center gripped his cock, massaging it, milking it for every feeling she could get. Spike felt her reaction and couldn't help but gasp as he felt her walls tighten. He stopped for a moment to calm against her protesting whimper. He wanted this to be great, fucking great. And if the Slayer wanted to him to loose it before she finished... well, who was he to complain. But then Buffy started to move, rhythmically trying to go deeper, fulfilling her own satisfaction. Spike could hardly keep his cool when he kissed her again, and tasted that sweet undertone of blood in her mouth. He became senseless as she wrapped her legs tighter, relaxing in rhythm. She didn't pull away when he turned, his eyes changing into golden amber as his demon pulled forward, claiming what should rightfully be his. She felt his chest rumble as he roughly licked her neck along the vein, drawing light on the skin to pull her potent Slayer blood closer to the surface. "I'm gonna loose it." He babbled. "Harder." "Shit...Slayer you're so tight..." Spike was on the brink as he slammed his body into hers, each time, she gasped, as he penetrated deeper. She couldn't feel anything except him. She couldn't taste anything but his lips. And for the first time, she heard him breathe. It was a sound that resounding in her ears. He gave breathy gasps as his every muscle beat her body senseless. Opening his mouth, he slid his fangs just above near the base of her neck. She lost it as wave after wave of her orgasm crashed over her as he drew a sinful mouthful of her strong potent blood. Feeling her clench and tremble, smelling her sex, watching as her mouth opened numbly and her head roll backwards. It was the taste of her blood on his lips and her sexual purrs of satisfaction that caused him to deteriorate. He came hard. Falling back against Buffy, Spike licked the small bite leaving little trace of their sexual passion. He kissed the small wound and Buffy wrapped one arm around his neck. They slowly crumpled to the floor, too tired to sleep, breath, or dream. "You son of a bitch." Riley said. Then raised the gun and shot Spike in the back. ********** Author's Note: Jenasea is the bestest beta ever. I know cookies, etc. However, I just wanted to add on and say that she walked my hand through this entire chapter. I've never written any NC before, so it was an entirely new experience. And she was totally accepting, paitent, and awesomely cool. Sniff... She's totally the best. Also, since I've never written NC before, I am really interested in hearing what you thought. So feedback is especially requested today.

Chapter #16 - Chapter Fifteen

********** 15 "Who were you talking to?" Giles yelled as he threatened to push the button on the control. "Riley. He came in here looking for Buffy, and I sent him over to Spikes' tent. That's where they all are right now." "Oh. Well, I'll go see what they are doing." Willow was slightly confused by his quick answer. "Um. Yes, go ahead." Giles nodded. "The rest of us will go back." Willow was barely out of the curtain tent before everyone heard the gunshot. * * * She ran as fast as she could to Spike's tent. Riley was standing over the cage, the two bodies entangled in one another. Willow watched Riley drop the gun. "Oh my god!" the red head screamed, and pressed her hand against the sensory lock. It took a lifetime before her prints were confirmed and the door opened. She yanked the door aside with a noisy screech and bent over Spike. He was on his knees. "Get away from her!" She yelled, and magically propelled him against the cage door. His pants were hanging off his hips and he half conscious. Bullet or sex... Buffy wasn't conscious. The bullet had gone through Spike's shoulder and hit the soft part above her ribcage but below her collar bone. The bullet had gone through that too. Willow procured a sheet from the table and wrapped it around her body. The witch rubbed her arm, trying to get her to wake up. She had a pulse, and that was good. "What happened?" Spike asked as he stirred from his wall. "Do not talk." Willow said in a low voice, "You will tell me exactly what happened." "No, I bloody hell won't." He looked at Riley, "Did you hurt her?" "I... I..." Riley sputtered, "I don't know what's going on! I just. I..." He looked at Spike. "Oh my god, you fucked her!" "You RAPED her?" Willow screamed and flew towards Spike. He had no energy to defend himself as she slapped him across the face. Scratches from her nails left their marks. "No," Riley whispered and the red head froze. "I heard it. She didn't resist... I think... she asked him to do it. She asked him to bite her!" "Oh my god." Willow said, her face contorting in utter disgust, "oh my god!" "What happened?" Xander wheezed, "Why is evil undead shirtless? And...Buffy!" "She fucked him!" Riley said wildly, "I mean, she wanted him to do it! What is she? What has she done?" "Why is she lying there?" Giles responded by kneeling by her side, "Anya, get me some water!" "There has to be another explanation," Tara said in nothing but a whisper, "why would she do this?" "I am going to be sick!" Xander whimpered. "I can't look at her." Giles watched her blond eyelashes flutter and her fingers stir. He held up his hand to motion for silence. "Look, she's coming awake. Now, listen to me. You will stand back, as Buffy explains what happened." "Don't ask the girl," Spike said, for the first time. Everyone whipped their heads around in shock to hear his voice. "She's been through enough. I'll tell you everything jus—" Giles turned to him and with the softest voice Spike had ever heard, he whispered, "If you say one more thing. I will order everyone away from this room and peel your skin off. Do you hear me? Shut up. You're nothing but a bloody monster who needs to keep out of things that don't concern him!" Spike shivered. Buffy woke. "Oh my god." She said as she saw everyone around her, tears began to run down her cheeks. "Oh no. Oh no!" She buried her face in her hands and curled up as tight as she could. Her wrists covered her neck so that no one could see her bites. Riley had seen the bite, but he didn't think it was a shock. The vampire was a vampire, and would bite whenever the chance presented itself. However, Buffy... that was a different issue. She was a goddess, the most beautiful woman he had ever loved. Why would she let an abomination touch her when she had him? Had she touched the other vampire in the same way? Riley shook with anger but Giles held him back. The older man bent down to look her in the eyes. "Now Buffy, I know this is difficult, but I want to know if you had any Benzedrine tonight." "What?" The blond looked up at all the faces peering down upon her, "Yes. But..." "That's all I need to know." He looked around, "That's all anyone needs to know. She was hallucinating and Spike took advantage." "But, Giles. I've been having visions—" "No Buffy. I will not hear it. You are drugged. Your body lied to you. And Spike convinced you to open the cage. Then he raped you. This is the reason. Willow, you take her back to her bunk. Everyone else, leave. I don't want a word of this spread to anyone, you hear. Riley, you come with me." "What will happen to it?" "The demon?" Giles turned around to face Spike. He had disappeared. ************ Dream: Spike was leaning against the wall looking away from her. Cool as usual in his black leather, he smoothed his hair back and searched his pockets for a light. The calm left Buffy's original "good idea" and the nervousness proceeded to eat away her insides. She walked over to his side and smiled weakly. He turned to her and said hello with a tiny grin. "Hey," she smiled back a half smile. "It's a happy occasion." A beat then the dig came, "You meet my friend?" He was cocky, with an I-don't-give-a-damn attitude. She understood and it made her smile. "No. Not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous." He smiled slightly, knowing that he couldn't lie his way out of this one. After everything, they knew each other too well. Especially when they felt the same way. "Is it working?" It broke her heart that he was honest. If he could lie or pretend to be a victim... it would be easier to hate him. But he was honest and it made her honest too. "A little. It doesn't change anything ... but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts." "I'm sorry." He whispers, then remembers it's not apart of his nature to be guilty. An awkward change then a stumbling, "Good!" This makes her smile again. Spike sighs and then shakes his head at the ridiculousness. He didn't understand himself anymore, his desire to be good while his nature prevented him. Then in a moment when he should be wreaking havoc and gaining his justice, he cannot help but feel guilty. "You want us to go?" So his game worked, but he didn't gain any pleasure because they were civil and honest. And over. "No. No, I ... you have every right to be here. I pretty much deserve-" "That's not true, you... " He looked up at the ceiling and cursed the gods for putting him in this position. Fucking, killing and feeding were the only things he was good at. A full list of things lead to what he couldn't do and what he avoided. Talking being at the top. "God, this is hard." "Yeah." They were in the same boat, they shared pain together. It was a theme. Spike sighed, because they were always causing one another pain when they were together and in pain when they were separated. The pain was constant. Always. "I think we'll go." "Go where? To your place?" Curiosity took over pride. Pride had run away with Momentary Satisfaction and they were having a picnic together. But Spike didn't look as pleased about his choice of rebound. "Yeah, I suppose. That was the idea." "Yeah." "Evil." Buffy smiled because somewhere, she didn't think he was. "Of course." "But I won't. Or I... l" The problem was, he should feel it, but the prospect of hurting Buffy took any joy out of screwing his rebound and knowing that she would know. The game was hard, messy. And he just wanted to feel evil or good. Instead of wanting something more. "I'll just go. Give 'em my best or whatever. The happy couple." "I will." Spike looked at her and in a fraction of a second; he said what he had wanted to say all night. "It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot." What do they say? Oh right. "You, uh... you glow." Spike knew it was the wrong thing to say. And Buffy smiled because she knew what he meant. "That's because the dress is radioactive." Spike snorted at the statement, thankfully she took the awkwardness and turned it into something they could both share. Like the pain. "I should..." "Yeah." Buffy starts to walk away, as Spike lingers behind, left with one thought. Because despite the amusement and the appearance, he wanted to make sure that she felt the same way. Empathy. "But it hurts? She stops and turned back. "Yeah." "Thanks." He said quietly, then leaves first as Buffy watches him go. "You're welcome." *********** Spike shivered at the dream, he must have dozed off for a second. His movement caused tiny ripples in puddle of sewage. The stench of underground, liquid trash was unbearable; however, it was better than anything up there. He had taken another sheet and run out as quickly as he possibly could before they could catch him. He knew something was wrong. Right now, it was a waiting game until nightfall. And the moment the sun set, he was going to get Buffy and find out what the hell is going on. ********** Buffy woke up from the dream, and shivered. Her hand caught a hold of Jonathon's get well present, the book she had sent him out for. He appeared after the show, when he heard that she had gotten shot. He had mumbled about how people leave guns around for vampires to shoot, but Buffy wasn't concentrating on the lies. She had just smiled and said thank you. It was beneath her hand now, but it seemed so different. This action was sweet and kind, but she couldn't read it. She couldn't care about her stupid theories. Not when all her friends were looking at her like that. The guilt resurfaced and she buried herself back in her pillow. Their looks of disgust and arrogance suffocated her. How could they be so judgmental? But it wasn't really them she was mad at; it was her own stupidity that got her into this problem. Spike. The dreams. And the sudden flaring attraction from the dreams onto Spike. The vampire. How could she do this? He's evil! And she's a fricking human! And Riley, oh. She groaned. Walking in on them. Buffy didn't know how she could ever get this low. And then the door busted open and it was the exact person she didn't want to see. "Get OUT!" She screamed. "Buffy, listen—" "I will NOT!" "Something isn't right, you are coming with me." "NO! I am not!" Spike rushed to grab her arm. She scrambled away from him. She couldn't look at him. Her body was shaking as he came closer to her. Buffy felt powerless and she wildly looked back and forth looking for a place where she could run away. Her agitation started to become violent as he leaned closer. She tried pushing him away, to punch him. But in her frantic state, she became sloppy. Self doubt and fear washed over her. But he was there, standing near her bed, looming over her. Spike watched her reaction. He felt no pity as he came closer to her. The need for answers was too great for one great warrior to break down into a little girl. He knew her reaction, he had seen it in his victims before. And he ignored it, like he had done so many other times. "Don't touch me! Don't!" There were tears breaking from her eyes, "Please don't." "I know we screwed up. But Angelus knows something. We are going to see him and he will tell us what we are going to do." "I'm not going anywhere with—" Spike put his hand over her mouth. "Do you want to clear your name or go on with this guilt? I know it's bad. But you are thinking like a person. A brainwashed person who does whatever anyone tells them to. Think with your brain. Shit, if you think like a Slayer, we will find out why we are getting visions. Why I bloody keep thinking about you. And why you allowed me to even touch you tonight." He lowered his hand, "You're not a woman, you're not a victim, you're the Slayer. Fucking act like it." Buffy took a deep breath and waited for her heart to stop beating. "I'll grab the book." Spike said softly, "You grab the pain killers. We need to leave now." Buffy couldn't believe what she was going to do. ******************

Chapter #17 - Chapter Sixteen

16 Angelus was waiting for them. "I'm surprised the star crossed lovers haven't jumped a train by now." "Tell us about what has happened." Buffy said in a deadly voice, "When you talked to dark Willow, you knew her. You also killed Drusilla. Tell me why." "Was he the best you had ever had? I talked to Mr. Farmer for a little bit. He seems more like a missionary guy than fucking against the bars of a vampire's cage." Angelus snickered until Buffy slammed the remote control against the bars. The vampire in the cage gave an unperceivable twitch. "I have nothing to loose. I hate myself and cannot become anymore self-depreciating than this moment. My friends cannot look at me. And I am sleeping with a fucking monster." She leaned in closer, "Do you really think anyone's going to care if I press this button? They will throw parties in the street, after what I did today." Angelus chuckled. "You can't get any lower, wait until you find out." "Tell me what is going on." "I was bored of this world anyways. These cages are too well paid for." He sighed and looked at his nails. "You don't remember any of this because you aren't really here. This world is an illusion and someone who isn't a natural blond created it." "You may not remember, but you did." Angelus laughed at Spike and Buffy's guilty expression, "Everything comes back to Sunnyhell. Go to the post office and meet Angel." "Is this a joke?" "Nope, I swear on my... unlife, that you will find your answers in the back room of the post office. You had better hurry up. The next train leaves in five minutes." They ran out of the tent. "Time to go home." Angelus whispered and looked towards the direction of Darla's tent, " Baby, it was fun while it lasted." ******** The two sat in silence on the train to Sunnydale. They had to slip into maze of cargo because there were police looking up and down for a blond haired blue eyed man who wore a torn shirt, bruises, and who may perhaps be a vampire but no additional information would be confirmed until a later time. All they knew was that these police weren't shooting with their guns. They carried crosses, stakes, and holy water. Buffy and Spike weren't scared of the big men on the train. They were deathly frightened of what would happen if they found out that this wasn't some sort of nightmare. What if this was their life? Their choices? What if they were wrong? And the person who they least wanted to spend time with was sitting next to her, in a corner, with nowhere to go. Buffy began to laugh. "Something got your fancy, Slayer?" Spike grumbled, "I really don't see anything amusing besides boxes." She couldn't stop. The pain was starting to kick in and she didn't know where she put her pills. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was having an illicit love affair with a vampire causing her friends to hate and despise her. When she tried to get away, she turned into a weak venerable baby who couldn't push a spider away. But instead, he had convinced her to run away with him and the last person in the world she wanted to be with was only two inches away. The only saving grace was that they were on their way to Carson City, to find a man, who the most evil of all vampires recommended. And this Angel guy was supposed to cure everything. Ironic and funny. It was hysterical because her life had become a piece of shit. When she got on the train, she could literally see her life flash before her eyes. She was dying inside because she entrusted a vampire over her family. Over the closest thing she had ever had to a father. Over her friends... She used Spike's penis! "Shhhh!" Spike whispered, "Someone's coming!" But Buffy couldn't stop. The vampire stared at the Slayer with a look of pure astonishment. "What the hell is wrong with you?" "I can't.... stop..." She gasped. The blond clapped both of her hands over her mouth in effort. But her convulsions still came. Snorts were bouncing off the boxes and down the hallway... "You are going to get us killed!" "... sorry..." Buffy gasped. Tears were rolling down her eyes and her sides were burning with pain. She rolled from side to side in her small confining place in order to stop, but it only caused one of the overhead boxes to topple over in front of them. The box fell with a loud crash and the top flaps fell open to spill Styrofoam popcorn all over the floor. Two vases tinkered and crashed as they hit the ground. Buffy snorted and Spike swore. The vampire pinned Buffy to the back wall and forced her to look towards him. Her eyes darted back and forth as she felt suffocated by the monster. Her body tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. He took the blows without a word until she stopped. Buffy had heard footsteps. The car door opened with a loud whoosh and two men stepped inside the luggage cabin. "See anything?" "Damn it, a box fell over." The second man whistled. "Jeee-sus, what a mess." "I hope nothing broke." The man said, taking two steps forward. A crunch of broken glass responded to his foot step. "Shit." "Yeah, well if it did. Wasn't my fault. I wasn't the one who packed it." "But we saw it. We're supposed to report it." "Nope. I ain't doin' the paperwork tonight. I'll let the conductor do it. He doesn't have a wife and kid to get home to. I ain't seen my girls in two days." They started to walk away. "What box? I didn't see no box?" The man said as he opened the door. "Sorry Mr. Conductorman, I didn't see nobody." "Shut up, you idiot." The door closed again with an identical whooshing sound. Neither stowaway moved. Spike turned his head to look at Buffy. Her eyes were looking directly at his until he met her gaze. Then she turned her look downward. "Are you going to laugh?" She glared at his forehead. Spike took his hand off her mouth and leaned back until he rested on the balls of his feet. Buffy scooted as far back against the wall as she possibly could and looked away. "Are you alright?" "No." Spike sighed. "Buffy..." She jerked at his use of her name. Spike opened his mouth to apologize but Buffy jumped in first. "Don't call me anything! Just... don't use my name." "Right. Slayer." He took a deep breath, "If it helps any, I know what you are going through." "Really." Sarcasm dripping from her voice, "What does Mr. Vampire know about my pain?" "I... I've seen that look before. In other girls." The vampire tried. "The laughing, the inability to touch, you haven't looked at me once. I know that you are in a cycle of self-loathing. It's the worst sort of revelation that there is. But Slayer... you can get through this. You're not a girl." Buffy whipped her head to look at him. Her jaw was locked and her eyes were blazing. Her lips pursed to scream at him. This was what he wanted, some normal angry emotion. But then her eyes widened in realization and her face contorted in horror. "Other girls?" She gasped, looking at her feet. "You have seen it? You mean you CAUSED it!" "I never—" "What did you do to them?" Buffy pushed him back from his kneeling position to sprawling flat on the floor. "What the hell did you do to them to make them act like this?" It was Spike who looked away. "If you don't tell me, I will jump this train right now and... and..." Her face darkened, "Tell me." "Drusilla." Spike said shortly. "Angelus found a girl who supposedly had visions. He wanted to make her just like he made Drusilla, so he tortured her, killed her family in front of her. Only this girl didn't have any visions. So she died." "And Drusilla?" "She is the end product of being tortured by Angelus. She was writing symphonies before she was turned." "Who else?" She asked darkly. Spike shook his head. "Then whenever we raped someone and left them to live, sometimes they would act like you're acting right now." He paused then looked up at her face with furrowed eyebrows, "But there is a difference. You consented. I didn't do anything you weren't already begging for." "You're right. I did ask for it and I should have expected the bite." Buffy said quietly, "But if the effect is the same, what difference does it make?" "It's a hell of a difference!" Spike insisted, "I've done evil and I knew it. It felt good and right and natural. But what we did earlier... it didn't feel natural." Buffy gave him a look. "So you drag me all the way out here to tell me how bad I was?" "No!" Spike retracted, "Not to say the sex wasn't bloody fantastic." "Well, what DO you mean?" Spike sputtered. "That's what I thought." Buffy said moodily. "You know, you can be a real bitch sometimes!" Spike shouted, "I'm trying to tell you that you can get out of your conceited, egotistical, self-loathing frame of mind and you are getting all uppity when I mention how the sex was different. You and I BOTH know it was different. That's why you're all huffy right now! If I was human, we would be snuggling together then you would tell the witch how kinky it was to do it in a cage. But I'm not. I'm a bloody Vampire. Get over it!" "You know nothing—" "I know you weren't victimized." Spike growled, "So quit with the melodrama." Buffy was silent for minutes before she spoke again. Spike had settled back into his original seat beside her scrunched up against the wall, hidden by other boxes. The Styrofoam popcorns still fluttered around the floor. "I don't care what you think." Buffy finally said, "But I want you to know that it's not the sex that hurts... or the bite. It's everyone's reaction. It's my decisions. It's how I'll never be able to go back. I know I won't look at you or let you touch me. And that's because I can't get past the idea that I've done something horribly wrong." "And you're a bitch." Spike mumbled. "Don't touch me."

Chapter #18 - Chapter Seventeen

Author's Notes: Jenasea is the bestest beta ever. Cookies and good vibrations are being sent her way! Also, this is the beginning of the end. There will be three more chapters including epilogue, so I will be posting daily until the end, since they are supposed to be fluid. So keep an eye out and don't forget to review! Hahahah! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ "Why didn't you tell me?" "Buffy. There are some things that you must discover for yourself and some things that you keep private from everyone. This was one of those things, for me." "But my mother, she's alone now." "I know." "You broke her heart! You left her!" "Your mother and I talked about this and we both understand one another." "I trusted you! How could you... you betray her!" "Buffy, I did not betray your mother. She does not think that I betrayed her. So then why do you believe I betrayed someone?" _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Buffy shook her head to release some of the memories in her mind. She wondered why she kept thinking of that particular moment in her life. The moment when it felt as if Giles had betrayed her when she discovered he had fallen in love with her mother. The young Buffy had been so angry at him, for days. And then the anger faded as her life resumed into a new pattern. But for some reason, now she felt the rawness of betrayal once more. Before, it was the fact that her opinions did not count in the relationship between Giles and Joyce. Now it was the same, her opinions did not matter in her abomination with Spike. Her mentor, her father figure hadn't even looked at her, only created an excuse and sent her away. Maybe he was protecting her, but that's not what she wanted. Buffy wanted to be accepted for who she is. The truth. No matter how horrifying it was. Buffy watched as the vampire slowly closed his eyes and his head slowly tilted to rest upon his knee. Finally, Spike was asleep and the Slayer breathed a sigh of relief, though not too loudly. It had been quiet for what seemed like hours, the air heavy with uncomfortable awkward silence. Buffy slowly leaned forward and away from the sleeping vampire to retrieve the book she was leaning on. She slowly opened the cover page to hear the crinkling of the spine. It was brand new and in mint condition. Score one for the home team! Buffy smiled. Spike woke up. "What you looking at, Slayer?" He asked in a low voice. Buffy jumped slightly at his voice then coughed to cover up her obvious surprise. Spike raised an eyebrow. "Ahem. Oh Nothing." "What?" "What?" Buffy asked, "Wait... what?" Spike rolled his eyes. "What the bloody hell are you reading?" He asked impatiently. Buffy winced. "Oh nothing...well." She sighed and flipped through the book until she got to the index. "This is the entire book. So the missing chapter should be here." Spike waited. "I was bored." She said moodily. "Oh." Spike leaned towards her slightly, "So what does this book reveal?" Buffy flipped to the unfamiliar pages and they both stared at the sketch of the demon before them. Both contorted their faces in confusion. The demon was in history books everywhere, on the news once a week, and on the cereal box of Chaotic Crunchies. It was D'Hoffryn. "Wait, can this be right? It's about..." She looked at the cover of the book confirming that it was the same book, "Is this right?" "What does it say?" Buffy paused and tried to scoot further away from him. Spike had gotten so close to her that she could smell his bodily scent. Frustration ran through her body. How did things ever get this bad? She looked back down at the book focusing all her efforts on solving this mystery. "So he's a Vengeance Demon." Buffy said in a flat tone, "He elevates humans to a demonic power when he sees they have potential and then these demons grant wishes to humans, men and women, who they deem have been wronged. That's when he gives them an amulet, which can summon him whenever they want. However, the wisher can also be used as a conduit to D'Hoffryn. He can resume the world to its natural order through any demonic sacrifice but he has to kill another vengeance demon to bring specific humans back to life. He rules over Arashmahaar, another demonic world. And then here's the spell on how to summon him." Buffy shook her head angrily, "I don't understand. What has this got to do with Drusilla?" Spike roughly took the book from Buffy's lap and began to rifle through the pages. With every page he turned, he got more frustrated until he pushed the book from his lap so that it landed in a pile of Styrofoam. "Damn it! Another dead end!" He snorted, "This is idiotic. We have no leads. We are going in blindly. Fuck Angelus, fuck everybody." "Drusilla was murdered, meaning that she could have fulfilled a sacrifice to bring order back. But we have no amulet, this book is hidden and out of print, meaning that Angelus couldn't have gotten his hands on it or much less known about the spell." Buffy shook her head, "So Drusilla was murdered because she knew too much." "Load of good this book turned out to be." Spike said in a mean voice, "I mean, your theory that this book was going to solve everything. Fat lot of good." "Hey, this book is very valuable!" Buffy snapped, "If anything, we can use it for ransom. You haven't turned out any brilliant schemes yet, so don't rain on my frickin' parade." "Sorry." He mumbled. Buffy sighed. "So. Angel." "Yeah." ************ Everything was dark once they got to Sunnydale. The streets were lined with lights and it seemed as if it had just rained. They were the only ones to get off, though a couple got on. The ticket vender had people though. Buffy supposed no one wanted to go west. "Where is the post office?" Spike said softly, bending behind a pole so no one would notice him. "Near by. It's two blocks away." Buffy whispered, positioning her face for maximum shadows. No one saw her eyes cloud for a moment as a thought crossed her mind. "Did you know that my mom and sister came to the show?" "No." Spike said in a mumble, distracted by the people getting off the train. "Yeah. I haven't seen them in years and then I act like a freak." "Come on. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." He pulled on her arm. "It's bad for your complexion." The post office was four blocks away. The building was completely unimpressive, with rectangular windows and a ramp that lead up its side. Maybe a few flowers in the front would have made it nicer, but the two weren't there to Martha Stewart with Angel, they just wanted to talk about why they were freaks of nature. That's all. A single light was on inside. But the front doors were locked. Buffy and Spike went around the back way to see if there was one that was unlocked and sure enough, the last door they tried was open. They were in the mail room when they suddenly heard a noise. "Freeze, put your hands up!" The two were paralyzed. "Turn around so I can see you." Buffy and Spike slowly swiveled until they saw a human man standing before them. Dark hair, tall, hanging fore brow, and muscular. "Thank GOD it's you!" The man said, "God, I thought I had to shoot somebody!" He laughed and walked over to the two. Buffy looked at his gun strangely. "I didn't think that postmen carried—" "They don't. Well, this one does but does that mean I'm not a postman? Aheh, I don't think so!" He laughed and unexpectedly gave Buffy a gigantic hug. The gun was dangling behind her ear and she felt eerily skiddish about it. Maybe it was from getting shot, not six hours earlier... She shrugged her shoulder and felt the soreness. "It's so good to see you've found your way! I've been waiting forever. Not that I mind. But I am bound to this place. Try getting pizza delivered when you have the midnight munchies." He looked at Spike, "William, you asshole. I'm glad to see you've gotten here in one piece. I was worried that you got yourself staked. You always did have a problem with the communicating thing." The two looked at his as if they had walked into another dimension. This man was eerily familiar. His face resembled that of Angelus, but his hair, clothing, and smiling face distinctly separated him from that of the vampire. He was wearing his uniform; the collared shirt, tie, and black slacks rather than Angelus' solid wardrobe of leather. On the table was where he apparently had dinner, Red Bull, pizza, and a tub of Ben and Jerry's icecream. The TV monitor was on and so was I Love Lucy. Buffy looked closer and saw the red pizza stains on his shirt. Was this Angel? "Um. I'm sorry," Spike said, carefully. "I think you've got us confused with someone else. I'm not William. I'm Spike and this is Buffy. We are here to see Angel." "Yeah, that's me." He said, putting down his gun and grabbing his drink. "Don't you... OH that's right. You don't remember anything. Well, ok, so you both need to go to the conference room, see that door? It's—oh hell. I'll just show you where it is. Come with me." "Um... just a second. I have to go to the bathroom." Buffy said slowly. She pointedly looked at Spike who wasn't getting her references. He was staring at Angel with a slightly open jaw. Buffy kicked him. Hard. "OUCH!" "And Spike... errr... what did you call him?" "William." "Yeah. Um... Spike needs to come with me." Buffy said, and dragged the vampire to the unisex bathroom. She opened the door, pushed him in, turned, smiled and waved at Angel, then ran in after the platinum blond. "WHAT THE—" "You were totally going to bite him!" Spike looked affronted, then snorted. "Wasn't going to kill him! I just wanted to see if he was related to Angelus." "Oh." Buffy said slowly. "Why, jealous pet?" Buffy's face contorted in anger. Spike didn't have any time to protect himself as she punched him in the nose with lightening speed. "Don't call me pet and don't be a pig." After the vampire had stopped swearing and resignedly sat down on the tile floor, Buffy asked, "What are we going to do?" "Dunno. Seems to want to take us somewhere. Which I am not keen on doing." "I know what you mean." They were both staring at the door. Spike then shook his head, preparing himself for recklessness. "I say we do it. Fuck it, we're not going to find anything if we are just sitting on the bloody floor." "You are sitting on the floor. But I agree, And hey, we have the book. We can ransom it." "And we are stronger than he is. He's only a human. "How do you know?" "I know because he smells human." "Really." "Yup." "What do I smell like?" Buffy tilted her head. "Like you." Spike said softly. They didn't talk for a moment. "Let's do this." *** They left the bathroom to find Angel finishing off his pizza. "So I take it you decided to come with me." He leaned towards Spike, "If you wanted some space you could have just asked." He whispered. "Yeah, well, it's your place." Spike shrugged. "You've gotten very considerate since you've fallen in love with Buffy." He said, considering Spike's speechless face. "Or do you not have your soul anymore?" "I... what? I do NOT love her." He sputtered. "I'm evil and soulless! Take it back!" Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, play the denial card." "Where are you coming from?" Spike demanded, "We fucked. Sure. But I do NOT love her. She's a great lay, and God, she tasted like heaven, but love? Hell no." "Let's go!" Buffy said, standing in front of a door that that had a big sign, "DO NOT ENTER!" nailed to it. She was far enough away that she didn't hear their conversation, but when Spike came closer, she saw his uncomfortable face. "What is wrong with you?" She asked. "Angel... he said that I was in love with you." "You aren't." Buffy said with absolute conviction. "And if you are, then it's your problem because I don't love you." "NO! I'm not." Spike said truthfully, "I only... remember the dream?" "That doesn't matter, anymore. We are here to fix that." She looked at him closely, "What else is it?" "Never mind. It's not important." He responded, taking a side glance at Angel, who was searching his pocket for something. The human stopped when he found his sunglasses, and put them on. "So, do either of you have sunglasses? No? That's ok. Alright, just be careful because it's bright. Ok kids, have fun!" Spike and Buffy stared at him. "Wait, you aren't going in?" For the first time Angel looked fearful. "I really can't go in." "Why? What's in there?" Buffy asked suspiciously. "Two people who hate one another very much." He looked slightly skittish, leaned in towards Buffy, and whispered, "They really don't like me." "Why?" "Because apparently, I am an annoying shadow of what I once was." He shrugged without shame, "That and she doesn't like me drinking more than one Red Bull a day. Apparently, I have a caffeine addiction and am hypersensitive to sugar. So, it's just the two of you. Be careful where you step!" And he was right. Blinding white light shined and the two walked forward into the unknown. * * * "I was going to commit suicide if you didn't show up soon!" They heard a voice cry, "Lilah has been driving me CRAZY!" "Two happy ideas in one day; Cordelia Chase killing her little angelic self and me, getting out of this hell hole."

Chapter #19 - Chapter Eighteen

Eighteen Their eyes adjusted to the light and before them stood two figures. Both had dark brown hair, but that was where the similarities ended. The figure on the left was wearing white denim jeans and a white lacy top. She was voluptuous and beautiful and her hair was curly and short. The woman on the right had on a strict black Armani suit with pumps and her hair pulled back into a bun. She was attractive in a CEO way, powerful, and utterly dangerous. They were standing in a white room with no walls. It was incredibly disorienting. Buffy and Spike stood in the middle of what seemed like an endless world of white, looking at the two women who would occasionally shoot dirty looks at one another. "My name is Buffy—" The corporate woman laughed. "Honey, we know who you are." She tilted her head, "I take it you don't know who we are though. Hmm. Interesting." "Why is it interesting?" Spike said for the first time, looking the woman up and down. She smiled at him with pursed lips and completely ignored his question. "I don't think we were ever formally introduced. My name is Lilah." She put out her hand. Spike smiled back at her with the same lopsided grin. "Spike. It's a pleasure. Now how you are going to help us go back to normal." Lilah let out a peal of laughter. The vampire dropped the woman's hand. Her laugh sounded crooked. Tainted somehow, his eyes widened. "Honey, that's impossible. You were never normal to begin with." "That's rich, coming from a nonhuman!" He spat. "Lilah shut up." The casual one stepped forward, "I'm Cordelia and I want to clear everything up." "Good, cause I need some answers. Where are we and what is wrong with us?" Buffy asked Cordelia. The woman gave a sad smile and nodded her head. "This isn't your world," Cordelia started softly. "This is a world that Spike has created out of his desire for you." Buffy whirled her head around to look at an astonished vampire. "This is YOUR fault." She started to walk towards him, "I am going to kill you! You told me you didn't do anything!" "The girl is obviously daft, I didn't do anything!" He hollered. "Angelus sent us here, they have to be evil! They're not even human! You should be thanking the ground I walk on—" "I will NOT thank you! This is totally something you would do!" "This is SO amusing," Lilah giggled. "Lilah, you talk one more time I will slap you so hard you will be singing along with the Backstreet Boys!" She snapped. "Buffy, you need to calm down. I want to show you something." "Is it how to torture a vampire?" "No. It's the truth." The Slayer looked into Cordelia's eyes. "Alright." "Let's hope this room has trash bags because you are going to need it." Lilah whispered. Cordelia reached over and touched Buffy's forehead with one finger. A small spark, not unlike a shock, appeared at the connection. The blue shock made her head glow just slightly. And then Buffy crumpled to the ground, sobbing. Cordelia looked sad as she watched the blond break down crying. Her body shook and convulsed as she caught her breath. Spike watched in shock. He had never seen Buffy this distraught or a reaction this devastating. It was if her entire world had fallen apart in one moment. He didn't dare touch her, though she looked so lonely. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the train wreck in front of him. The blond little girl looked at him with her big eyes and said the most terrifying words he could possibly imagine. "I'm dead." And Cordelia touched Spike. ************* It was three years after the Hellmouth closed when Buffy died. I wasn't there; I was sodding traipsing around in China killing off vampires; doing my thing, repenting for deeds done wrong and saving puppies. And every moment I was fighting the urge to go see her. After Italy, when Angel and I went on a quest to find the girl, I had realized that the honorable thing was to let her go. I would never admit it but I was scared of her reaction. Anything besides her kissing me senseless would have been a disappointment. If you love a girl, then let her go. So I decided to find trouble in China. They were digging up shit to build the Yangzee River dam, and finding loads of demons. I positioned myself there to save lives, half thinking that I would stumble upon an apocalypse as an excuse to call my girl. The signs were there; the eclipse of the sun, the volcanoes going off, earthquakes... but nothing too bad that I couldn't handle on my own. Little did I know that THE Apocalypse was coming, and I was in China, fighting the good fight, when I should have been in South America, saving the world... Fucking cell phone reception. I can remember that nightfall with excruciating detail, the sun was shining the first time in three days. Angel picked up the phone to scream at me for not getting my ass down to Argentina, and secondly to say that she was missing; in a demonic dimension somewhere. She had been fighting demons, there had been hundreds of thousands, a flash of light and they had all disappeared. The demons. Buffy. All were gone as of 4:14 that afternoon. * My world as we know it, collapsed, but the trouble didn't start there. I remember putting down the phone in shock, sitting down on that rock hard bed, and looking at nothing until it was daylight. That was a big mistake when I realized that I couldn't go anywhere until dark. I didn't believe the news and wanted to get out of the fucking room after feeling what it would be like to loose her. So, I trashed the place so that not a square inch of wood or plaster remained. In my opinion, it was an improvement. At sundown, I threw down all my money to pay for the room and ran into the sewers. I couldn't cry. I had to find her. I immediately went to the local know-it-all demon stuck on a mountain and went through trials. I was used to the pain, which was bloody horrific, but I needed to know where she was so I could rescue her. In my mind, I would come in, swooping down like a knight in armor. In my actions, I would tell her how much I loved her and finally convince her that I was worthy of her love. But most importantly I wanted to see her again. I went away so she could be happy, but I was never happy thinking that we could have been more. More than just lovers. I wanted to touch her to tell her I loved her once more. And hear, for the first time, that she loved me. I needed that. The last thing she ever told me was that she loved me. And I had told her that she didn't... not in the way I wanted to be loved. And this was my second chance. If I could prove myself to her, then I could be with her. This is what fueled my fire. This is what lit my world. This is why I could get through the pain. Two days went by though it seemed like years, and then the trials were done, I was only given one answer. That she was bloody well gone. And apparently, that's what started the true pain. That Buffy died. Again. Angel got the same answer after doing the same thing in Los Angeles, so I figured it was time to get drunk. Pissing drunk. The only problem was that I got pissing drunk in the middle of the local Vengeance Demon hangout. Who knew they liked the middle of nowhere? "Another sir, if you please." Spike said with slur. He slammed the whisky tumbler down upon the sticky bar table. The place was busy with fifty drunken demons who didn't speak English except for the bar tender and this other guy... "Listen, if I put a lit match within a foot of you, you would go up in flames." The bartender said in his fantastic English. "This is a bar, not a fire station." "Where did you learn your English?" Spike demanded, "You sound just like heaven. I've been speaking Chinese for months now, if... if I had known that you spoke what I spoke, then I would have been here earlier." The bartender gave him a dirty look. "I have blond hair, blue eyes, and a crew cut. I am six foot three and tower over the crowds. I've been mistaken for Johnny Depp too many times to count." He shook his head disgustedly, "I would think that a Billy Idol wannabe would know to look next door to his apartment." Spike shook his hand at the man cleaning glasses. "You didn't answer my question—" "We're neighbors, idiot." "Give the man another drink," the demon said next to him. "The love of his life just disappeared." The bartender snorted in aversion. "I know that... you know that I know." The bartender said in an irritated tone, "I've been working here all night, you have been here for three hours, telling me the story of your life. I got the movie rights. I fuckin' swear." "Just one more?" Spike whispered. "Fine. One more." The bartender poured him another glass, "I pity you. Because my girl ran off on me too. Right after I fucking turned her so we could be together forever. Bitch. However, I'm warning you. If a cigarette comes by here, you are paying for damage." "Deal." And he drowned half the glass in one gulp. "So about this girl," the demon said, "why don't you just get over her?" "Piss off you buggering w... wanker!" Spike swerved around on his barstool, lost balance, got his balance back, and then pointed at the demon straight in the face. "She's not the type to get over." "What do you wish?" "She has the prettiest hair. Blond and shiny. You know, Angelus always loved blond hair. It was his thing," He said the last word with disgust. "I always liked the dark haired girls. They were mysterious and lovely and could keep your mind occupied for years. But she... she had all the mystery and bravery of a dark haired girl." "But she left you." "You know what... Hoffman? Hitler?" "D'Hoffryn." "Yes, D'Hoffryn. Have you ever lost a girl?" "I've lost many girls." "Did you kill them?" "No... not directly." The demon sighed. "There was one who I loved particularly. She was constantly brave and creative. Always searching for her identity for thousands of years. And then one day, she found another man." "Bitch." Spike muttered into his whisky glass. D'Hoffryn shook his head sadly. "No. She wasn't. And neither was he. He made her find her own identity. And he changed her for the better. She's happy now." "Is she in Connecticut? That's where all the happy people go." Spike hiccupped. D'Hoffryn chuckled. "No. She's in another universe where she will be eternally happy." "I know. It's like they're over there and we're over here. And there's an invisible wall between us that cannot be crossed." He took another drink, "Bloody hell I'm wasted." "Yes you are." "You keep askin' me what I wish for." "Yes." "Well, what do YOU wish for?" Spike sloshed. "I would wish to see her." D'Hoffryn sighed. "She was very pretty and she grew up so quickly. I would just like to tell her something that I've never told anyone. And maybe spend some time together. Maybe another thousand years or so. " "Tell me." "No. Especially not you." Spike wiped his eye sentimentally while the demon downed the rest of his drink. "Now, I came here to grant you a wish. Your pain is so palpable that I could feel it from Arashmahaar. I know I got sidetracked talking about Anyanka, however, you were just about to tell me what you wanted." "Anyanka? You had a fling with bloody Anya?" "No. She was a daughter to me. Now focus before I become angry." "Alright, alright. I've been thinking that I want the world to be like Buffy wanted. No moral grey areas, you know what I mean? It's no confusion, it just clarity. The polarity, positive and negative, black and white, good and evil. She hated being attracted to evil... to me. I want her to have what she wants. I want the world to be black and white." "DONE!" Fucking whisky. ************ Spike crumbled to the ground. His eyes were shut as tight as he could make them. He didn't want to see the look on her face. Reliving all his memories and feeling the especially raw pain of Buffy's death. And then knowing how badly he had screwed up. He didn't want to see the disappointment. Spike finally opened his eyes to look at the blindingly white floor. "I am so sorry." He whispered. Spike then forced himself to look at her. Buffy was sitting on the ground. She just looked at him with sad eyes, knowing ones. They weren't disappointed, they understood and that made it slightly worse. Spike didn't dare touch her. Right now, he wasn't worthy. "I am desperately sorry." He repeated. "That's ok." She whispered softly, "You didn't know that he was a Vengeance Demon. Though you should know better not to make any wishes to strange demons." "No." Spike's voice cracked, "I am so sorry that I wasn't there... when you died." Buffy smiled slightly. "That's ok. It wasn't bad. Just a little itchy going through the doorway." She looked at him and her lip slightly trembled. "I'm sorry we couldn't work things out." "That's wonderful that you can reunite, etc." Lilah said sarcastically, "however, because of your wish, we've been here for a year. Yes, peoples, a year. Stuck with Miss Moral Fiber over here. So if we could say the spell and move on." * Author's note: I wanted to tie this into "FRAY" a story about Melaka Fray, a slayer from the future. The story goes, that "a Slayer, possibly with some mystical allies, faced an apocalyptic army of demons. And when it was done, they were gone. All demons, all magic, banished from this earthly dimension," Yeah. Buffy. And this entire universe was created by Spike's reaction to Buffy's death. Cool isn't it? More tomorrow. And keep reviewing!

Chapter #20 - Chapter Nineteen

Nineteen "Wait, why are you here?" Spike asked, looking up at the pump tapping Lilah on one end of the room, and Cordelia who was sitting close to Buffy. He vaguely remembered Cordelia and knew nothing of Lilah. Only that she was a bitch. And that was from the last fifteen minutes in the white room. "Lilah is here because her business works out of the grey area you wished away," Cordelia answered her emotions turning from sadness to annoyance, "And I am here because there is no future in this world. It's a complete mystery and I get stuck in a little room with no walls, to supposedly watch over how things are going. And that's all because of your little drunken desire. "You see, Spike. When you wished that there are no grey moral areas because that's the thing Buffy always wanted, well, that's not what Buffy ever wanted. What Buffy would have wished for would, first, be a new pair of shoes, but secondly, to always be true to herself. And her truest moment was with you. At the wedding. In a horrible green dress, talking about the honesty of your relationship." "I would have gone with the burlap and larvae." "Shut up you Corporate American sellout." Cordelia snapped, sighed, and then continued, "So there's a paradox. And that's where you get the visions from. Whenever you thought about one another, you would get visions or dreams about your relationship. And believe me, your relationship is ALL grey area. Then you remember your visions, which caused you to touch and to break all the rules of this world." "Plus you asked for polarity," Lilah added with clenched teeth, "Everyone knows that opposites attract, dumb-ass." "Spike," Buffy sighed. "Only you could be too drunk to make a decent wish." "I wasn't just drunk. I was VERY drunk. There's a difference, love." Spike snapped. "I could literally feel the vomit rising." "Well, your drunkenness leads to my downfall, asshole!" Lilah snapped, tapping her pump against the white floor. "Wolfram and Hart have NOTHING here. Everything that they ever had was based on that little grey area you wished out of all our lives. So I've been stuck here with little miss hippy—" "I am at the peak of fashion!" "No, darling, it's white. And white goes out after Labor Day. You blend in with the walls you fashion freak!" "Ok, this doesn't explain anything! I mean, what about the Angel/Angelus behavior!" Buffy yelled above their quibbling. Lilah looked at her and rolled her eyes. Spike looked away at the mention of his sire. Of course she would want to talk about her ex. Lilah crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow before she began to speak. "Angel is a fricking human who remembers everything because he's a paradox too. He's a vampire with a soul, yada yada we all know the story. But in this realm, he's a human with a soul who has discovered the wonders of Red Bull, pizza deliveries, and having a clean conscience." Lilah told them, waving her arms for emphasis as she continued. "But anyways, when Genius here does his deed, Angel gets split into Angel and Angelus. Both know the truth because both were paradoxes in Sunnydale. And Sunnydale is the only place where the black and white powers meet. That's why Willow got in touch with her dark side here, that's why Drusilla went all weird and why Angelus killed her. Because Drusilla knew, was going to tell Spike, and then Spike would have told you. Angelus like's it here. God knows why." "Why didn't Spike split in two?" Buffy asked. "Because he made the wish." Lilah answered. Spike raised his head. "As much as I hate to bring up Angelus after the conversation changed for the better, but I still don't understand why he told us where to go." "Because D'Hoffryn would have realized he was too much of a liability and then he would have killed him. And probably all of the Vampires. He's the only demon who REALLY likes it here. He, literally, wanted to move out of Arashmahaar and live here during the summer to hang out with Anyanka. Which brings us back to how do we get out of this world so we don't all wind up dead or bored out of our minds." Lilah pointed to Buffy's book, which was still on the floor. The Slayer still had a slightly blank expression on her face. Spike was still looking at Buffy. Desperately wanting to touch her but daring not to. "Do the spell, get D'Hoffryn here. He told Giles to cut out the text in the book because this is the only literature that has any power to summon him. After you do the spell, we bargain with him. So Wolfram and Hart or the Powers that Be give him what he wants, which is the one time ability to raise a human who have been killed through natural death and then we get out of here!" Buffy could swear that Lilah was so happy that she would have danced. "I thought he could raise humans through his own power." Buffy said slowly, "I saw him do it at a fraternity." "No." Cordelia answered, "He can do it with the sacrifice of another vengeance demon, and even then it has to be the wish of another person. D'Hoffryn is immensely powerful, but his powers are limited if they are used for self gain. He cannot raise Anya because he wants it too much. Not even if it were another person's wish." Buffy looked at Cordelia, who nodded. Then she looked at Spike. He still watched her like a dangerous creature, not knowing what to do. She knew that he couldn't think straight because all he could picture was her death. So Buffy took the wheel and opened the book. "I need the amulet." "Nope, just touch Spike, he's the conductor." Lilah said happily. Buffy looked at Spike who looked grim and frightened. She stood up and touched his hand. They were cold, but they were always cold. It didn't take them long to warm up to her temperature. She watched as his face contorted and his hands began to shake. Beatum sit in nomine D'Hoffrynis. Fiat hoc spatium porta ad mundum Arashmaharris. D'Hoffryn appeared in his mystical glory, turned around and uttered the horrific words... "Good Falthros, it's bright in here. Does anyone have any sunglasses?" "Listen, D'Hoffryn," Lilah began, going into super power bitch lawyer mode, "I respect you and as a person who knows what you are—" "Save it Ms. Morgan. I know why I am here and your answer is no." He turned to Spike, "Good to see you are sober again, William. I am very happy that you didn't go up in flames. I admit, I was worried, and had smuggled a fire extinguisher underneath my robe when you first arrived." "D'Hoffryn, we are prepared to give you what you want." Cordelia stepped forward. "And what is that Ms. Chase?" He turned to her, "The Powers that Be certainly have no vision here." "You can raise a life, one life, in order to take this world back to what it was." D'Hoffryn's face darkened. "You think that I could possibly change the world back to its chaotic, retched state with one life?" "You know that this isn't your normal game." Lilah said softly, "You raise lives with the exchange of a Vengeance Demon's life and soul. However, you have already brought five lives back without a death. Spike provided the pain for this to happen. And on top of it all, Drusilla died. Think of the power of all this stored energy that you could access and... well. You aren't stupid." D'Hoffryn would have answered but the opening of the door interrupted him. Five disoriented people stumbled in. "I feel that song... blinded by the light!" Xander sang as Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, and Giles tripped upon each other. For the already adjusted, the sight was quite amusing, even underneath such stressful situation. "It's a good thing that Angel guy told us about sunglasses. It was awfully nice of him to do that. You know, he kinda looks like Angelus. If you squint." Tara said softly. "I agree! Both of them are very helpful in telling us what we want to know. " Anya said, as she looked around, "I think they are here, I can... wait, D'Hoffryn?" "Yes, Anyanka." D'Hoffryn smiled, "How are you doing?" "I feel like I'm in a sun tanning booth, but other than that, we are here to take back Buffy and the vampire!" She said proudly. "It's like finding the perfect dress! Except we're going to kill something if there is resistance!" "God, how did these people ever become champions?" Lilah muttered under her breath, "Cordelia, do your head touching thingy and let's get out of here." "I'm sorry," She said with extreme sadness, as she gently stroked each person's temple. Giles threw up. Xander fell down while clutching at Anya who stood, stone still. And Tara began to cry when Willow wouldn't stop screaming. * * * "This can't be true," Willow said while the tears ran down her face. "Oh, what have I done?" "Baby, Its ok. Everything is going to be fine." Willow was shaking so badly that she pulled both of them down to the floor. She began clutching at Tara's dress. Tara was quietly crying as she felt the extreme pain of her lover. "I can't let you go again." Willow cried, "I cannot do it." "You have to be strong." "Tara, baby, I love you so much. It's not fair... that... that you died. You were murdered by a human. I should have died. I should have saved you. I can't... oh, god I cant breath." Giles stumbled over to Buffy and held her, while Spike watched the entire group with no expression on his face. Nothing. He knew he was the cause of everything and that he should feel immense guilt, but all he could do was watch then react. He then turned to Buffy. She looked at him and smiled a small smile, as if to say that in time, everything was going to be alright. The Slayer patted Giles' back and felt the wetness of his tears seep into her shirt. Her old watcher didn't say anything, but he held her for a long time. He too, relived the moments of her death over and over again. Only in his mind, he hadn't been able to save her. Xander stood silently, watching as Anya rubbed her sleeve slowly up and down. Feeling the fabric between her fingers. Questions were dying on his tongue but wheeling in his brain. Finally, he got the courage to ask her if she was happy. "Yes." She whispered. "Are you in heaven?" "Yes." She replied as the tears started to fall down her face. "Anya." He said mournfully. She shook her head. "Xander. Don't worry. I've always known." She held out her hand. Xander took it and curled up until he was hugging her. He hid his face in her shoulder so that no one would see him cry. Lilah looked at her watch. "And the touching moment continues, however, I have a meeting at two. So can we please hurry this up?" "No! Please, let us go back. I promise... I..." Willow held onto Tara, who stroked her hair and whispered comforting words. "You can't do this. We didn't know! We didn't know that we would loose them again." Cordelia walked over to Willow, who was sobbing and touched her hand slightly. "Please Cordy. Please." She gasped. "I know this is hard," The angel answered, "and I know that this is painful. But Tara is in heaven. She has a place where she is continually loved. And though it seems like forever, you will go there too. But you have things that need to be finished. If you don't return, now, you will never see her again. " "I... I can't do this. I love you so much, baby." "Willow, I love you too." Tara whispered, "You can do this. You can. Your white light is so bright now; I can see you all the way from heaven. I promise I will see you again. You need to be strong for us." "Yes," the red head cried, "I will see you again. But baby, please. I just... I can't be apart from you again." "I love you." "I didn't know." She whimpered, "I didn't know that I would loose you again." Giles pulled away from Buffy for a moment. "Buffy, I don't know if I will see you again, but—" "Giles, don't be British," She admonished gently. "You are fine. You will make it. You have hundreds of Slayers now, and they need you to train them." "Please, know that I cannot tell you how sorry I am." "It wasn't your fault." "Buffy. I knew that D'Hoffryn was a Vengeance Demon and I had his amulet hidden in your mother's home. In the kitchen, under the floorboards. When I met D'Hoffryn for the first time at the circus, he told me to take the amulet from Spike and hide it where no one else would find. Then he told me to take out the pages from the book. I didn't want anything to happen to the circus but I could have stopped it." "No." Buffy said forcefully, "No you couldn't have. It happened and it's done. You cannot worry about this. You need to think about the Slayers. You need to tell them what happened to me. Giles, please. Use your watcher brain and know that you have always been my father. You need to become the father of other girls. They need you." He detached himself slowly. "Did Spike make the wish?" Giles looked at the vampire blankly. "I did." Spike whispered. "I am so sorry." Giles walked away. "Buffy." Spike said her name softly so that she couldn't hear his voice crack. He needed to hear it. "I know. I can't say it, knowing that it's not the same love that you want. You know that. But I do. In my own way, I do." Her voice broke, "If we had more time... and things were different...But I can't say it when it's our last moment together. I did that once, to you." Spike hung his head and Buffy touched his cheek as his body shook with the attempt to keep from crying. "And it wasn't fair." "I can't live without you." Willow whispered. She had no more tears. "I didn't know I would loose you again." "You will see me in Heaven." Tara said softly, "You can do it. I know you can." Willow straightened up and grabbed Cordelia's arm. The woman looked down at the witches who couldn't bear to live without one another. She sighed. "Do you promise?" Willow asked, "Do you promise that I will get to heaven? Cordy?" "If you work—" "I need to know, please." The witch gasped, "You need to tell me now." And Cordelia couldn't say no. "I have made my decision." D'Hoffryn said loudly, so that every face turned upon his. "I will return this world back to five days after Buffy died, but I will claim one life to return to the living." Xander's head shot up. Anya's head bent down forward. Spike wondered if she knew that she was the bargaining chip. She hadn't said anything, only stood there without saying a word to anyone except Xander. She only moved once to take her hand away from Xander. Xander's face was filled with hope and strangely, Anya's was with dread. It was then that Spike knew that she had been in Heaven. Although Xander desperately wanted her back, Anya would never accept the world. She had seen perfection and could never go back. Cordelia wouldn't look at the former Vengeance Demon. She too, hoped that Anya would be sacrificed. D'Hoffryn looked at his girl. "You know, you were always my favorite." D'Hoffryn said, and Anya looked up at him with extreme sorrow in her eyes, "I want another thousand years with you just so I could tell you that I am so proud of what you have accomplished. I only wish that I could see you in heaven." "WHAT?" Cordelia screamed. "I choose Darla." "DONE!" Lilah shouted. "ANYA!" Xander screamed. "TARA!" "Buffy." Spike whispered. And then this world was gone. * * * * * * Author's Note: Epilogue will be posted tomorrow! I am SO excited to hear what you think!!!!!

Chapter #21 - Chapter Twenty: Epilogue

Twenty Epilogue: Spike leaned against a tree. He was smoking a cigarette. Wasn't drunk. And hadn't drunk for a while now. Probably because he caused enormous amounts of pain to the people he might have called his friends by bringing all their true loves back from the dead. Real classy of him. But they still didn't know what he had done. Only Giles. And the Watcher hadn't spoken more than ten words in the ten weeks that they had been back. The only time was when the watcher had asked if he was going to stay in England to train the new Slayers. Spike had said he would and Giles nodded. Nothing more. Not that there was really a need anymore. Something had happened to the world. There were only a handful of vampires and hardly any demons. It seems like Buffy's little disappearing trick had thinned out the population. Those who hadn't been killed were migrating to different dimensions, and a good thing too, because the Slayers had started dwindling. About half of them had died in the big fight and the rest were loosing their power. Spike kept training them but they were loosing passion and power by the minute. Spike took another drag. Everyone knew what everyone was going through, because everyone felt the same thing. Loss. It was incredible. And confusion. Why the magical vacuum? Why the migration? Why Darla? Every person he knew was trying to figure it out. All of the Scooby gang had reunited underneath Giles' roof in London. Pouring over books and looking for the slightest sign of a clue. Darla was unconscious in a Los Angeles hospital bed, threatening to wake up any second. Angel's gang was watching over her now. Amazingly enough, the man who knew everything returned to the vampire who remembered nothing. Spike snorted. Angel could repress a cow. And it seemed like the forgetting theme continued with the people who Cordelia hadn't done her mojo on. Dawn, thankfully didn't remember Joyce and the rest of the world was at peace. Spike had finished the last drag of his cigarette, cursing that it was the last one of the pack, when he heard familiar sounds of fighting near by. He strolled along figuring it was just gangs fighting over some piece of turf when he caught a familiar scent in the air. He went running. The dust cloud revealed a tiny girl standing in jeans and a tee-shirt. Blond hair pulled up in a ponytail with a stake on her right and a crossbow on her left. "Buffy." Spike whispered. "Oh good," She said with a small smile. "I'm glad to see you first. I just got here. Where exactly am I?" "London." "Oh." She looked around, "that's right." "Buffy." "And what are you doing here?" "Patroling." He could barely talk. He didn't need to breathe, but he lost his breath once again. Did she know? Did she remember? She obviously didn't think he was a soulless monster, so it wasn't the first few years of their... relationship. Did she get pulled out of heaven? Is she real? Thoughts, questions, swirled about, but his body was stone still. He really could not believe what he was seeing. Spike stumbled to her and touched her hand with a single finger. It was warm, alive, and moving. He caught her glorious scent and watched as she turned her big eyes up towards his. She put the stake in her pocket and the crossbow on the ground. "That's good." "Buffy..." "So Cordelia came up to wherever the hell I was and told me that I had a choice. I could either stay dead forever, with the threat of waking up numerous times whenever they needed me. Or just stay alive and ageless until they summoned me to die. Apparently, there's a huge movement with this youth generation about procrastination and irresponsibility since they aren't 'THE Chosen One' anymore and I need to keep teaching them as they come along. I guess I'm a good teacher." Buffy shrugged." Cordelia really didn't tell me the details; apparently it's this whole free choice phase that the Powers that Be are going through. Annoying isn't it?" "Buffy?" "Cordelia made me an immortal." She said softly. If Spike couldn't move earlier, he would have turned to a rock right now. Immortal, it didn't even seem like a word. What was the meaning? What does this mean? Buffy then squeezed his hand. She hesitantly looked up, paused, then stood on her tip-toes to kiss Spike softly on the lips. It was the sweetest kiss he had ever received. He responded by bending his head and pulling her closer. He didn't deepen it because he didn't want to ruin the moment. Unfortunately she pulled away too soon and he let her leave his grasp, but not his gaze. "You look good." She whispered. *************** The crowd was silent as a single beam of light shone down from the ceiling and onto the floor. There was nothing but floating particles that responded and reflected against the bright whiteness. A few coughs echoed through the tents but each sound was greeted with angry glances. Soon everything was quiet except for the rustle of changing positions from the uncomfortable spectators. "It was at this moment, that Riley, in a jealous rage, shoots Spike in the back. Blood dripping from Spike's side, he pulled away in pain, only to see that the bullet had punctured his lover's lung. Buffy coughs once and her blood rolls down from the corners of her mouth. The vampire picks up the dead body of the Slayer and holds it close to him. Willing to wake her up with his strength. "He hears her heartbeat slow and her breathing fills with liquid. And in a moment, he knows that he only has a few moments left. The vampire changes from his human face to his demonic one and slowly descends upon her neck. He kisses her once, very sweetly, then drains her in front of Riley. The human murderer cannot move for shock and sorrow. With her last breath, Spike cuts open his wrist and feeds the everlasting immortality to his lifeless love." Giles ends, his head bent forward and shoulders bowed. He lifts his hands up to the air and turns around so that everyone can see the truth. With extreme slowness, he takes off his hat and holds it to his heart, motions that tell the audience that these words are true. "Never has there been a story of such sadness or sincerity. This was the horrible yet honest tale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike the Vampire, the soulless monster she unlives for." Applause roars from the audience, as the entire crowd stands up for the brilliant tale. However, no one knows how much this tale cost more than the four in the front row. Willow and Tara clap as they look knowingly into one another's eyes; Xander and Anya lead the teary applause, while Buffy and Spike are brought down on an invisible platform. Holding hands and kissing in front of the entire world. The mob explodes into wild adoration over viewing the vampire pair who risked everything to be with one another. A modern day Romeo and Juliet, and with an equally tragic ending. The audience found it a fantastic tale, but in the end, they would still go back to their lives devoid of learning anything. Occasionally they will remember the thrilling tale and sigh at the daring. However, they will never apply its message to their daily life. Which is how it ought to be. A knock, and then Cordelia Chase walks into the not-so-white-anymore room. D'Hoffryn sits in the center, watching the cinematic smiling and happiness around him. "Sit down, Miss Chase, I forgive you for interrupting the best part just this once. The next time, I will do something horrific to you. I think you will be punished by always having a song stuck in your head. Maybe something by Hillary Duff." Cordelia smiled and ignored the obvious jab at her timing. "I never figured you for the romantic type." She said, leaning against the edge of the doorframe. "I find it strangely appropriate. It's a farewell," he paused, "to her." "To Buffy?" "Yes." "Ironic. She has the chance to live forever and you are telling her goodbye." The demon gave a dignified snort. "It's official then. You made her an immortal." "Yes." "Why?" "Because she is needed." Cordelia said with furrowed brows. D'Hoffryn laughed shortly, then became stonily silent. The girl in white felt the awkwardness and tried to change the topic to the happy people on the screen. "Is this the story he wished to have end?" He sighed. "Yes. It is. I did a fantastic job. Don't you think?" "No. I don't." She said, when sitting down next to him on an empty stadium seat. The only empty chair in the entire fantasy. "Don't you see the beauty of everything? It is so peaceful here and simple. Clear and beautiful. And it hardly lacks entertainment. The love story still ends with a death scene, but it's perfect and don't you see? The people learn nothing. So a story like this could still stand in a world of absolutes. It is fascinating to know, truly, who you are when there are so many divides in your life. You could gain a world of perspective here. Miss Chase." "Why did you choose her?" "Do you want to know, or do they?" Cordelia smiled. "A little bit of both really." "Then you are stupider than your employers," D'Hoffryn snapped. "Do you think I would pull Anya from eternal heaven, for my own selfish reasons?" "I don't know. I never thought you would understand what she died for." "Oh I understand. She was killed in doing something that she believed in. She stood for her ideals and her friends, just like she did when she was a Vengeance Demon. When she was mind. How could I take that away from her? No matter how much I miss her, I respect her death. Something the Powers that Be should understand when it comes to Miss Summers." "There is happiness too." Cordelia said calmly. "The world is starting over. Don't you see? The Demons are leaving and the magical are being drained. The Powers know that underneath this world, lies the Old Ones who eventually arise to claim this earth again. So they forbid Buffy Summers to die. She is the one person who deserves heaven and you have taken it away from her. THAT is ironic. You, a heavenly being, have betrayed her. Her confident. Her friend. Ironic, Miss Chase. My farewell is not unexpected; it is your blindness that describes the word well. " Cordelia sat up to her fullest height and defended her words. "They will be there; Buffy, Spike, Willow, Conner, Illyria, Angel, and maybe even Darla. They will be there to make sure the world is balanced." "Darla, Conner, and Illyria have just entered the game. Willow will die, and Angel will become disillusioned when he does not receive his reward." D'Hoffryn's eyes flashed, "And Buffy will share the vampire's desire to rest." "But Spike—" "Spike has no soul and will never regain it again." The demon looked into Cordelia's astonished eyes, "The world is restarting and you have doomed your greatest allies." Never has there been a story of such sadness or sincerity. This was the horrible yet honest tale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike the Vampire, the soulless monster she unlives for. The End. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Author's Note: SO! I hope you loved this story! I did and I'm working on the sequel as we speak: D'Hoffryn's Choice: The Dog's Crumbs. Probably going to be a while because if I consciously post while I am writing, I stop writing. It's a thing... However, just a little reflection on the story: 1) The opening sequence had to be the ultimate fantasy. You don't know what is going on or if it's even real. But obviously it's in another world. After I went to the Circus with my sister, I literally SAW the prologue. I had it stuck in my head for five years. It took me three years to write it down, then another year to come back to it. Literally, I never thought this story would ever finish. 2) Every time Buffy and Spike got a vision, they would break the boundaries of the world. A touch, a thought... their relationship in this world is equated with bestiality or a drug addiction. It's worse. It's NEVER done. Speaking of Drugs, don't do them. But read about Jack Kerouac doing them. He's one of my favorite authors and he influenced the Benzedrine. 3) D'Hoffryn was totally inspired by the episode Selfless and the commentary done by Drew Goddard, when he said that D'Hoffryn literally couldn't kill her. This is because Anya was his favorite and that letting her go broke his heart more than killing Hallie. That's why D'Hoffryn wanted to keep the world because he knew he would never see Anya again. As a vengeance demon, he knows what justice is. And Anya's actions were honorable and true. If he loved her, like he did, then he could never take her back. 4) Don't you HATE it that they never say, "I love you" to one another? I TRIED. I fucking wrote it a thousand times in a thousand places, but I couldn't do it. And then I figures out why—I think that they are the ultimate pairing because they are capable of phenomenal love that novels are made of, but they never had the time. You got a glimpse of it during the end of S5 (she kissed him when he didn't tell Glory), and beginning of S6 (Once More With Feeling). But then things got out of hand and then self destruction hits. Spike keeps on the right path, but Buffy kinda makes a left at Albuquerque. The other thing is that I don't think that Spike is capable of the same love that he showed in S6 when he has a soul. WHICH is why... 5) Spike has no soul. Look out for the sequel; I also want to thank Guinevere Jenasea for beta-ing. Guinevere, get better and drink lots of soup. And Jenasea you are a goddess on earth. Also Sania Delian for helping me out with the outline in the very beginning. (It's changed, hasn't it?) And my reviewers: I LOVE You are fantastic, wonderful people who brighten up my dreariest days! Thank you for your love and support. I couldn't have done it without you.