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Bewitched, Bothered, and.... by slaymesoftly
One Shot

“I love you, Spike.”

“Not as much as I love you, Slayer.”

They gazed into each other’s eyes, seeking the unqualified devotion shining there.

“This is amazing.”

“I am a bit gobsmacked, I’ve got to say. I never thought you’d say ‘yes’.”

“I never thought you’d ask. I thought you hated me.”

“Never, pet. Wanted to kill you, yeah; but it wasn’t personal. Might have even turned you – just so I could have you around forever.”

“Forever,” Buffy sighed and nuzzled his neck.

“Forever,” he confirmed, tipping his head back and purring as she began to kiss his throat. “I thought you hated me,” he finally lowered his head to whisper in her ear. “Thought I was all evil and such, didn’t you?”

“I did,” she admitted. “But I also thought you were the hottest vampire I’d ever seen in my life. And I love – loved – fighting with you.”

“Wish you still could, love. Believe me. Fighting with you makes me… well, let’s just say I’ve known since the beginning that you could make my dangly bits sit up and take notice.”

“Maybe we can find a way to fix whatever those soldiers did to you.” She pouted. “I want my sparring partner back.”

“’s alright, pet. If they hadn’t done whatever they did to me, I wouldn’t be sittin’ here with the woman I love on my lap, her warm little arse making me wish all your little friends were as blind as the watcher.”

“Shhhh,” Buffy giggled. “Somebody will hear you.”

“Want ‘em to hear me. Want the world to know how much I love you; how much I want you; how you make me feel…”

She giggled again. “You’d better be careful what you’re feeling. I think Giles is getting suspicious.”

“Can’t help it if you start to moan every time I put a hand on your--”

“mmmmmmm. You need to stop that…”

“Make me. Oh, that’s not the way to stop me, love. Not when you’re touchin’… Bloody hell, pet. Are you trying to make me lose control?”

“I’ll stop if you stop.”

“Don’t want to stop. Want to make you….”

“Guh! Oh my god!”

“Shhhh. Oh yeah, just like that, baby. Make me…”

“Do you think anybody noticed?”

“Don’t care who noticed. We’re engaged, aren’t we? Gonna be married soon. Wankers can mind their own business.”

“I think maybe they were all too busy…”

“Ya think? Maybe we could do it again…”


“Spike lips! Lips of Spike!”

“Ugh! Slayer breath!”

“Are you saying I have bad breath?”

“Are you sayin’ you don’t like my lips? Cause, I seem to remember you—Ow! What the hell was that for, bitch?”

“That was to keep those lips closed before you say something that will make me have to stake you.”

“Oh ho. Miss Goody-two shoes doesn’t want her little friends to know what she was doin’ with the Big Bad.”

“It was a spell. A dumb, stupid spell and it’s over.”

“Too bloody right it is! If I was able to, I’d rip that witch’s head off for doing that to me. William the Bloody, in love with the fuckin’ Slayer. That’ll be the day!”

“If you weren’t so pathetic and helpless, I’d stake you just for threatening my friend like that.” Buffy shrugged and muttered, “Anyway, I get first dibs on killing her. Making me think I was in love with you! What the hell was she thinking?”

“Uh… Buffy? Spike?” Willow’s tentative voice interrupted their exchange of insults. “Guys? I’m really, really sorry. But, in my defense, I didn’t wish for you guys to fall in love. I just said if Buffy wanted to keep you around so badly, she might as well marry you.”

“Well, obviously if we were going to get married, we’d be in love.” Buffy’s uncertainty didn’t go unnoticed by anyone. “Wouldn’t we?”

“Yeah!” Spike agreed quickly. “Wouldn’t have been asking the bint to marry me if I wasn’t in love with her, would I? I’m not that sort of vamp what goes around asking women to marry him if he doesn’t love them.”

“There, you see?” Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. “It was the spell. It’s not like we even like each other otherwise.”

“Ooookay….” Willow frowned dubiously, but with both Buffy and Spike glaring at her with identical expressions, she wisely dropped the subject and followed Giles and the others out of the crypt.

“So… we’re not….”

“Nope… definitely not.”

“Well, good, then.”

“Yep. All back to normal. I hate you. You hate me. Right?”

“Right! Of course.”


Buffy sat up in bed, her heart pounding and her eyes wide open.

I did NOT just have a dream about Spike! I was not dreaming that he was kissing me the way he did last week. I did not just get my pajamas wet remembering how it felt to… Gah!

She threw herself back against the pillows and moaned.

I did! I was dreaming about Spike and how good it felt when he kissed me, and touched me and I want… Oh. Willow is in soooo much trouble.


With a bloodcurdling snarl, the vampire threw off the blanket and grabbed his aching cock.

I am not thinking about that miserable little bint and her shampoo commercial hair. I’m thinking about… Dru, Harmony… hell, I’ll be thinkin’ about my whorish great grandsire if I have to. Anybody but the Slayer.

In spite of his protestations, the name he shouted as he brought himself some welcome temporary release was that of a girl whose face refused to leave his brain.


What is wrong with me? This shouldn’t be happening. It was a spell. And, okay, it was a pretty… interesting… spell as Willow’s spells go; but still, just a spell. We wouldn’t have wanted to be kissing like that if we hadn’t been spelled. Would we? No! Of course not! I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to kiss Spike. Or feel his hands on my boobs, or on my—he does have some pretty amazing hands….

Oh my god. Willow has GOT to fix this!


The witch has got to fix this. Her bloody spell won’t leave me alone.


“Ooookay. So, I’m thinking you guys aren’t here to tell me I’m forgiven, are you? Here, have a cookie. It’s a new recipe – double chocolate chips.”

“Forgetting spell. Now.”

“Immediately. If not sooner.”

“Um…I kind of promised Giles that I wouldn’t do any more spells for a while. Not until he’s had a chance to work with--”

“NOW, Willow!”

“This is an emergency, Red. Can’t wait for the watcher.”

“What can be so bad that it can’t wait a few days? I mean, I get that you two aren’t happy about all the smoochies, but come on, how bad can it be?”

“Bad. Bad in the baddest sense of the word. Trust me. This needs fixing.”

“What the Slayer said. Sooner the better. Yesterday would have been good.”

“All right. Let me go get some supplies. Just wait here.”

Buffy wandered around the room, picking up books and putting them down without reading. Spike paced furiously from one end to the other, turning in a swirl of leather every time he reached a wall.

“I don’t know what you’re so bent out of shape about.”

“Too bloody right you don’t. What the hell is your problem, anyway? That repulsive am I? That you can’t wait to scrub your brain?”

“Brain is definitely in need of scrubbing.” She became very interested in a magazine lying on the table, carefully avoiding Spike’s suddenly narrowed eyes.

“Why is that, Slayer? Surely a couple of snogs with whatever poor sap you’ve batted your eyes at this week will be all it takes to make you forget about ‘lips of Spike’?”

“I don’t know what your problem is. As much of a pig as you are, I’d think you’d want to keep gloating over…” Her voice trailed off and her face fell as it occurred to her that even a vampire didn’t think she was desirable enough to want to remember what he’d done with her.

“Want this unnatural… stuff… out of my head. Interferrin’ with my sleep, it is.”

I’m interfering with your sleep?”

“’s what I said, isn’t it?” he growled, not meeting her eyes. “Can’t… I want to go back to hating you!” he said, slamming his fist down on the table and causing the books to bounce into the air.

“You… you don’t hate me?”

He peered up at her from the corners of his eyes. “Do you hate me?”

“Not… not like I used to… But that’s wrong! That’s why we need the forgetting spell!”

“Or, we could just…”


“Learn to live with it.”

“Could we do that? Knowing that…”

“I’m willin’ to give it a try, if you are. I mean, how bad can it be?”


“Okay, guys. I think I got everything I’ll need. If you’re really sure you want to do this…”

Willow looked anxiously from one to the other, frowning as they moved closer together.

“T… tell us the risks,” Buffy said, glancing at Spike for confirmation.


“There’s always risks, Red. Think you might have noticed that from you last little adventure in magicland.”

“Um… well… I guess it could… I mean if I really screwed it up… You might lose your memories… completely.”


“Not that I think you would,” she hastened to assure them. “But that’s the worst thing I can imagine going wrong with it.”

“Oh, well, that’s bloody reassuring,” Spike growled. “Can’t imagine how that could be a bad thing…”

“Don’t be sarcastic, Spike,” Buffy said, punching his arm. “If we forgot completely who we were, we…”

“We wouldn’t know how wrong…”

“I wouldn’t remember that I’m the slayer and you’re a…”

They turned on Willow simultaneously.

“Let’s do it!”

“Go for it, Red.”

Willow looked at their eager faces dubiously, wondering what she was missing. With a shrug, she arranged her ingredients, lit the candles, and recited a short spell. “And so mote it be,” she intoned, blowing out the candles and gazing at them anxiously. Two sets of bewildered eyes stared back at her.

“Honey, do you remember why we came here to talk to Willow?” Buffy turned to Spike, her frown fading as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“I don’t, sweetheart. But I’m sure it had something to do with the wedding.” He nuzzled her neck while she snuggled into him cooing.

Buffy nodded her head and turned her head far enough to meet Willow’s horrified gaze.

“Is that it, Wills? Was there something else we need to do before we get married?”

“Oh, Goddess…”


“Red? You alright?”

“Oh, Goddess…”

"I guess she forgot too."

"Well, she can call if she remembers what it was." Spike waved his hand cheerfully. "We'll be at Buffy's mums, practicin' for the honeymoon."

"Oh, Goddess..."

the end