BSV Forum - General - The Bloodshedpub

Xander - Companion in Death?

Jun 23 2009 03:11 am   #1Spikez_tart

I had a freaky thought while I was re-watching Prophecy Girl - Xander is always around when Buffy dies.  Yes, sometimes others are too, but: he's there all three times and no one else is.

Prophecy Girl - he shows up right after she drowns and saves her life.  (Angel's there, but useless.)
The Gift - In the shot of Buffy lying dead on the ground, only Giles is standing closer.
Villains - he's chatting with Buffy when she gets shot.  No one else is around.

Also, in every case, he's involved in either saving her life or bringing her back from death.

If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jun 23 2009 03:15 am   #2slaymesoftly
Interesting observation, Tart. Could be the seed of a very different kind of fic...
I am not a minion of Evil...
I am upper management.
Jun 23 2009 03:33 am   #3LisFayte
This has the plot bunny hopping, maybe Xander is her guadian angel, but he doesn't know it yet.
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.--- e e cummings

Come to challengespuffy  post Spuffy fic challenges or find something to write about
Jun 23 2009 03:48 am   #4Spikez_tart
I think Joss may have had this little bee in his brain that Xander (read Joss the nerd) was going to be her true love and Spike came along and spoiled everything. 

Before you're thinking Xander's too angelic, I noticed in one episode, Willow was helping Buffy change clothes.  They told him to turn around, and he watched Buffy in a mirror.  Sort of a preview of his attack on her in The Pack. 
If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jun 23 2009 09:00 am   #5LisFayte
eewww, I didn't mean a Bander fic, that's just icky! I want my Spuffy all the time! What I was saying is that what Xander was taking as sexual attraction was, in fact his need to watch over Buffy (even through a mirror ;-) )
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.--- e e cummings

Come to challengespuffy  post Spuffy fic challenges or find something to write about
Jun 23 2009 10:39 am   #6sosa lola
I noticed in one episode, Willow was helping Buffy change clothes. They told him to turn around, and he watched Buffy in a mirror.

Hee! Too bad for him that Joyce walked in before he could take a look. Thank God Xander wasn't some angel, how boring would he be. *kisses Xander's flaws*


Those are interesting observations. I think Joss noticed it because I remember Xander saying that he'd bring Buffy back if she died 'cause that's what he does. End of Days.
Jun 23 2009 06:14 pm   #7Guest
Joyce walked in?  I don't remember that.  I thought the mirror fell, or turned, whatever, and it caused them to notice what he was doing.
Jun 23 2009 08:48 pm   #8sosa lola
Joyce walked in? I don't remember that. I thought the mirror fell, or turned, whatever, and it caused them to notice what he was doing.

And then Joyce walked in. *blush* You're right. I need to do my BtVS rewatch.
Jun 24 2009 01:16 am   #9Spikez_tart
I didn't mean a Bander fic, that's just icky! - Of course you didn't.  No one would even dream of a Bander fic.  Maybe if Spike ran a shiskabob stick through his liver.

Sosa - report directly to the Television.  Your punishment three episodes randomly selected served with Rocky Road ice cream.  :)
If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jun 24 2009 04:00 pm   #10sosa lola
Sosa - report directly to the Television. Your punishment three episodes randomly selected

Pouts. All right. *checks her DVDs for episodes that include Spander goodness* Smiles.
Jun 24 2009 06:43 pm   #11nmcil
Xander and Buffy - I could never understand this theme presented at the end of the series - Maybe the Xander/Joss connection is more of a "creator's societal  perspective," in the women are powerful and are equal to men. 

Why the heck would Xander be presented as her strength when the entire series was based on Buffy having and finding her own inner strength/inner heroine to face and be victorious in life.   However, it is an interesting treatment that it was Xander and not her "love/soul mate" that goes to save her life and brings her back with his breath.   If you follow the mythic symbolism of creation of man & Joss the creator - it does make a good connection with the analogy of Xander/Joss giving life through "the breath"  to Buffy.  But I don't think it makes a good statement from the theme of women empowerment to have the male Xander be presented as her "strength" - All the Scoobies were equally part of what gave her connections to her life, who both added and burdened her life. 

In the ending of the series, IMVHO, turning to give "homage and tributes" to specific characters and to the history of the series, i.e., Buffy kissing Angel/Angelus, detracted from the current arcs. 

I can see that Xander/BoyNextDoor  might have been a potential relationship but I don' think many viewers would have really gotten behind a Xander/Buffy romantic relationship - what felt honest and powerful about Xander's wanting Buffy is exactly that he would not - that is a lot more like what happens in real teenage life, unrequited love.

In the examples of Xander and Buffy scenes menentioned,  it was Willow that brings Buffy back to life - so we have two definite instances where Xander is part of her resurrection - PG and Willow's spell to bring her back. 
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Jun 24 2009 09:13 pm   #12Scarlet Ibis
But I don't think it makes a good statement from the theme of women empowerment to have the male Xander be presented as her "strength"
Well, there are a lot of things that didn't work with the women empowerment thing (such as only having a scythe, a big part in winning the battle, because of Spike and his emotional strength, or the amulet, which is what closed the Hellmouth and not fighting for several minutes, only because of Angel and Spike), but that's another conversation. 

I don't have a problem with Xander saving her, or being a general symbol for inner strength sometimes, considering the fact that he had no other strengths or powers.  Besides the occasional bright idea (which was usually more happenstance, or due to a spell, such as a "super" Buffy in s4 or Buffy using the power launcher, which only came about because he remembered what it was like to be in the army), he didn't have too much else going for him.  Xander was thought of as being "the one who always has to be saved/the one who would screw it up" as "The Zeppo" and "The Replacement" show.  So let Xander represent inner strength--let him have something.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jun 25 2009 01:04 am   #13TammyDevil666
Agreed, let Xander have his moment to shine.  I'm glad he was always there for her, and that he was the one who saved the world in the 6th season.
When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.
Jun 25 2009 03:53 am   #14Spikez_tart
In the ending of the series, IMVHO, turning to give "homage and tributes" to specific characters and to the history of the series, i.e., Buffy kissing Angel/Angelus, detracted from the current arcs. 

That was a bunch of bunk as was Joss's idea of "woman empowerment."  Blech.
If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jun 25 2009 06:04 am   #15nmcil
Xander as symbol maybe was the most significant of the entire series - that the everyday/normal person without any magic, super brain, super strength, immortality, wealth, bad family, little wealth finds his Inner Super Hero - The Heart to go out and place his life on the line for a cause.  Buffy for me was always about real people living in our real world and mythic symbols.  Xander, just like all those everyday/normal people in Iran, are out there fighting for their equality and justice - against the Monstrosity that will always come from "Those Others" against "We The Chosen"  -  Who is my greatest Xander/Everyday Uber Hero/Heroine - Harriet Tubman.

A great triad of characters for me are:

Xander -  for the strength that we all have within us if we have the courage to join the struggle
Tara - for her gentle heart and empathy that she had for others - I always think Tara as a Mother Earth Positive Life Force
Spike - for the Beast/Primal Life that transforms into the complete human potential - physical strength and powerful emotions controlled through the intellect and spirit -
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Jul 20 2009 12:46 am   #16Vampire_Wiccian
This is probably a bit off topic but, what the hell.

Apparently, In the first season of Buffy, Xander & Buffy were supposed to get together. That is before everyone saw the Charisma/Chemistry that David & Sarah had.
Jul 20 2009 03:21 am   #17Guest
I see Xander as more of a reaper like in the show "dead like me."
Jul 20 2009 03:33 am   #18Spikez_tart
Xander & Buffy were supposed to get together. - Okay - Buffy is always saying she wants the normal relationship.  Here's Xander.  He is the epitomy of normal, yet she rejects him.  I conclude that she doesn't really want the normal in her secret heart of hearts, but wants the romance that is wild and burns, etc.

To return to the original point - Xander frequently keeps Buffy from getting killed and they frequently are in dicey situations together when none of the others are around.  In Killed by Death, he saves her from Angel and backs Angel down in the hospital; he's also the only gang member around when Buffy takes out the Kindertot, even tho Willow is in the hospital building.   In Reptile Boy, he goes to the frat house, long before anyone else.  In Halloween, he protects her.  He's the only one who doesn't get taken over in Bad Eggs, and is around to help Buffy take out the Bezoar mama.   In Phases, he saves her from Theresa, the vampire that Angel created as a nasty present for Buffy.  In Becoming, he goes with her to Angel's lair, and although he's only there to extract Giles, he is once again around when Buffy is nearly killed.  There are other instances but I'm a lazy skank and I didn't write them down.

If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jul 20 2009 06:37 am   #19nmcil
This is probably a bit off topic but, what the hell. Apparently, In the first season of Buffy, Xander & Buffy were supposed to get together. That is before everyone saw the Charisma/Chemistry that David & Sarah had.

Where did you get your info on this?  can you give source or links to source info - this would have changed everything - after seeing all that angst and intense emotional pairing of Buffy and Angel it is hard to think of what the series would have been like with Xander-Buffy romantic relationship - I never once had any desire to see them together as a couple - the vibe never came across for me.
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Jul 20 2009 06:56 am   #20Scarlet Ibis
Okay - Buffy is always saying she wants the normal relationship. Here's Xander. He is the epitomy of normal, yet she rejects him. I conclude that she doesn't really want the normal in her secret heart of hearts, but wants the romance that is wild and burns, etc.
That makes sense.

I will add, however, that Xander, of all of the romantic interests in her life, was the only one who not only knew and accepted all that she was and not take any of her crap.  She'd be more inclined to listen/believe Xander because of having a soul as well as being human.  Spike usually got the brush off whenever he tried, and the other two (Angel and Riley) really weren't all that forthcoming with the, "Hey--this is stupid/don't do it," lines like Xander and Spike would.  So Xander has the advantage in that respect.  But Spike was right, as you said Tart--


RILEY: (falters for a moment) Because you're harmless.

SPIKE: Oh yeah, right. (scoffs) Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. (patronizingly) Not that she doesn't like you ... but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jul 20 2009 06:21 pm   #21nmcil
Scarlet Ibis -  thanks for the quote - great to read the exchange again - I was working with this scene just yesterday -
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Jul 21 2009 09:00 pm   #22sosa lola
Tart, Xander also pushes Buffy away when Toth fires his stick at her, and gets hit himself, sacrificing his life for Buffy. Poor guy, it hurts to see some fans who claim that Buffy would have done better without him in the team.

Oh yeah, right. (scoffs) Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. (patronizingly) Not that she doesn't like you ... but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

I'd say that Spike only said that to rile Riley up. I honestly don't believe it's true. What attracts Buffy to men isn't their darkness, but their human side. She only falls for Angel, Riley -yeah, I believe she loved him, and Spike because of their good, not their bad.

As for Xander, a guy could be anything a girl wants, yet her heart doesn't beat for him. Joss had said in the commentary of Prophecy Girl that when Xander brings Buffy back to life, she realizes he's the perfect guy for her, but in the end she chooses Angel, because love isn't about logic.
Jul 22 2009 12:43 am   #23Scarlet Ibis
What attracts Buffy to men isn't their darkness, but their human side. She only falls for Angel, Riley -yeah, I believe she loved him, and Spike because of their good, not their bad.
Not saying she's only attracted to dark/mysterious/etc., but it's a big part of it.  The only reason she leapt into Riley's arms was after Willow's Will Be Done spell.  She wasn't too keen on Riley before then, and decided to gun for (seemingly) Average Joe Normal to prove a point to herself.

Joss had said in the commentary of Prophecy Girl that when Xander brings Buffy back to life, she realizes he's the perfect guy for her, but in the end she chooses Angel, because love isn't about logic.
Does she now?  That kind of also drives home Spike's point.  Xander would have been perfect...but he was too normal.  Who knows? If Buffy hadn't been pursued by Riley in s4, Buffy just may have ended up with Xander.  Yes, I'm aware he was with Anya at that point, but he wasn't in love with her or anything at that point.  He would have dropped her like a hot potato if Buffy had shown any kind of interest.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jul 22 2009 01:17 pm   #24sosa lola
Not saying she's only attracted to dark/mysterious/etc., but it's a big part of it.

At the beginning, but in the end, a good sense of morality and humanity is what makes Buffy fall in the love with the guy. Not blurting out Dawn's secret to Glory under torture is what made Buffy notice Spike... not his duster and bad-boy attitude.
 
I think Buffy would have noticed Xander if he tried more. He seemed to give up too quickly, but then Angel was around when Xander had fell in love with her and Xander eventually went with Cordelia.  Spike never gave up, he stuck around and forced Buffy to see the man inside the monster.
Jul 22 2009 02:54 pm   #25Scarlet Ibis
At the beginning, but in the end, a good sense of morality and humanity is what makes Buffy fall in the love with the guy.
That isn't what I said, exactly.

It's not just one or the other, but a combination of both.

Also, I don't believe she was ever in love with Riley or Spike.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jul 22 2009 10:23 pm   #26Guest
Also, I don't believe she was ever in love with Riley or Spike.

I agree, She was never "in love" with Spike but she did care for him. Then in the last episode when she said 'i love you' it wasn't entirely romantic. It was more of her coming to terms with the fact that he is indeed a good person underneath and that he had many honourable traits.
Her 'i love you' was more of a thank you to him for being so loyal to her. Kinda the same love you have for a dear friend.....that you've shagged...

As for Riley... It was a bit similar. She did love him to an extent but not fully. She saw him as something that he wasn't and in the end it destroyed their relationship. She just portrayed all of her ideas onto him, telling herself he was what she wanted when she was actually in denial and had no idea what she reallly wanted...

And I don't think Buffy ever really realized what she wanted.
The first step to knowing what you want and need in a relationship is knowing yourself and being honest and true to your heart. Buffy never was.
She lived in denial throughout the whole show and just got worse.

And is it just me, or was Buffy really irritating in season 7?

Mesh ~
Jul 23 2009 12:49 am   #27nmcil
Season 7 had Buffy being both wonderful in her more mature and liberation from father figure arc - Spike over Giles & Principal Wood - but she could also still be extremely annoying in her personal relationshiip and in her "general mode."  -  I actually think that I liked the overall personality in Season Seven Buffy best - she was a combination of a young woman  finally starting to make her own choices based on her ideas and thinking process in contrast to how I saw her in most of the series - following the teachings and preconceptions of her adult mentors and her own very contradictory application of stands of morality. 

Am I wrong - did not Joss Whedon state that Buffy did love Spike?  In Season Seven I do believe that she loved Spike - but then my perspective and interpretation is based on metaphor and visuals. 

on the Xander-Buffy relatinship - that pairing just has no appeal to me whatsoever - I never felt any kind of chemistry either as passion or love interest with them.  For Xander I don't think that they ever really found a good female partner for him.  The thing with Xander and Buffy is that Xander was portrayed at first as one of the "outsiders" and from the POV of telling a story in the early seasons, Xander as the model of "outsider" would not have been in the probable or usual "boy get girl happy ending" - would Xander getting Buffy, the object of his desire and love, in that time frame of the series been good for the series?  We go to final season when the started out with Xander and Buffy being shown in all that domesticity - lot's of viewers, including me, we thinking that they really did not like the series to end with them being paired up romantically. 
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Jul 23 2009 02:02 am   #28Scarlet Ibis
Then in the last episode when she said 'i love you' it wasn't entirely romantic. It was more of her coming to terms with the fact that he is indeed a good person underneath and that he had many honourable traits.
I saw it as more her throwing a dying man a bone--one last meal so to speak before he burst into flames.

She lived in denial throughout the whole show and just got worse. And is it just me, or was Buffy really irritating in season 7?

Agreed to the first bit, and no, it wasn't just you to the second ;)

Am I wrong - did not Joss Whedon state that Buffy did love Spike?
In the commentary for "Chosen" he directed SMG to mean it when she says "I love you," though I personally think she phoned that one in.  At any rate, there were a few hints to love throughout the season (and also some hints to the contrary of her loving him), but even so, to love is not to be in love.

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jul 24 2009 11:52 pm   #29Spikez_tart
Xander also pushes Buffy away when Toth fires his stick at her, and gets hit himself - yes another instance and I'm beginning to think I haven't got a pad big enough to write them all down.  Buffy is supposed to be the bad ass slayer and she keeps getting into situations where a mere mortal has to save her.

Xander/Buffy - They had exactly zip chemistry.  Think about the scene in When she was Bad where Buffy does her skanky little dance with Xander.  SMG is very sexy in that dance and it was like she was playing to a vacuum.  There's never any zing between the two of them, except maybe when Buffy was under the Luv Spell and even so it was kind of flat.  You just don't believe that she's acting out of some deep inner desire, but is just being jerked over by the spell.

Spike/Buffy - I heard that Joss came out and said that Spike was Buffy's "true love" whatever that means.  I also heard that Jane Espenson said it was a thing among the writers that Buffy had a sexy dream about Spike early on and it scared her so she went chasing after Riley.  I have exactly no back up for either of these wild speculations.


If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jul 25 2009 12:52 am   #30Scarlet Ibis
Think about the scene in When she was Bad where Buffy does her skanky little dance with Xander. SMG is very sexy in that dance and it was like she was playing to a vacuum. There's never any zing between the two of them, except maybe when Buffy was under the Luv Spell and even so it was kind of flat. You just don't believe that she's acting out of some deep inner desire, but is just being jerked over by the spell.
Well those aren't two fair scenes to Xander.  Not that I ship Xander/Buffy, but the first instance, he knew she was using him, which was sad and disappointing, and so very awkward, and then the second, she was under a spell, so more disappointment and awkwardness.  Honestly, I thought they were headed the Xander/Buffy route in the beginning of s4...and then I was majorly grossed out and confused by the Parker thing, since he looked like the brokedown, cracked out version of Xander...

I also heard that Jane Espenson said it was a thing among the writers that Buffy had a sexy dream about Spike early on and it scared her so she went chasing after Riley.
No no--that's what Jane believed, and had it on like a post it at her desk or something whenever she wrote for them...or something like that.  I too have no idea where I read it, but I did.  It's what Jane believed, and yes, it makes 110% of sense to me.

<-- <3's Jane E.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jul 25 2009 05:46 pm   #31sosa lola

Xander/Buffy - They had exactly zip chemistry. Think about the scene in When she was Bad where Buffy does her skanky little dance with Xander. SMG is very sexy in that dance and it was like she was playing to a vacuum. There's never any zing between the two of them, except maybe when Buffy was under the Luv Spell and even so it was kind of flat. You just don't believe that she's acting out of some deep inner desire, but is just being jerked over by the spell.

I thought the dance scene in WSWB was sexy. *hides* It's a matter of taste in the end. I loved watching Xander standing like an empty shell, hurt and disappointed while Buffy bruised him with every glide. So hot!

I think Buffy and Xander look sweet together, much more fun than Buffy/Angel to be honest. There were scenes that spoke to me better than the ones you mentioned. The last scene in Inca the Mummy Girl and the scene where she hugs him in Phases, the way she looked at him. They looked so hot there. :)

Anyway, that's a moot point. Buffy and Xander as friends is more special than them being a couple. I'm more of a friendship whore. I love Spuffy more in S5/early S6, and their quiet acceptance of each other in S7 than the S6 sex and "I'm in love with you" stuff.

 

I also heard that Jane Espenson said it was a thing among the writers that Buffy had a sexy dream about Spike early on and it scared her so she went chasing after Riley.

LOL! That would have been funny! *hugs Riley*



Buffy is supposed to be the bad ass slayer and she keeps getting into situations where a mere mortal has to save her.

That's one of the reasons why I love this show so much.
Jul 25 2009 06:28 pm   #32nmcil
Anyway, that's a moot point. Buffy and Xander as friends is more special than them being a couple. I'm more of a friendship whore. I love Spuffy more in S5/early S6, and their quiet acceptance of each other in S7 than the S6 sex and "I'm in love with you" stuff.

Agreed - a great friendship is just as difficult to attain as a great love - possibly even more difficult because with a love/partner relationship you have all the time that is shared and it does not require concerted time effort - with a great friendship, like any real friendship, people have to make the time for each other.

One of the reasons that I personally dislike any Dawn-Spike romantic relationship in FF is just for that loss of their connection as friends and one of Spike's only human companions in the series -

That "wannabe-my-sex object" dance scene, had absolutely no appeal to me from a "sexy partner" pov - what it showed in my POV,  a beautiful young girl using her male companion as a tool for her personal agenda and as a very humiliating position for Xander - Xander could have been an dancer's sex pole for all that Buffy was feeling in that scene.
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Jul 26 2009 03:56 pm   #33Spikez_tart
Xander could have been an dancer's sex pole for all that Buffy was feeling in that scene. - I agree with opinions above and yes, this wasn't fair to Xander.  Buffy is feeling something here and it's not hot feelings for Xander.  It's a pretty curious scene.  I don't think there are any scenes were Buffy, conscious and not under the emotional gun, expresses any sexual feeling to him.  Friends, yes, lovers no.

I thought they were headed the Xander/Buffy route in the beginning of s4.. - Which totally puts the Riley thing into perspective.  I don't like Riley at all, but he was a better match for Buffy than Xander.  I hate myself for saying that.
If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Jul 27 2009 01:55 am   #34Scarlet Ibis
I don't like Riley at all, but he was a better match for Buffy than Xander.
I'm gonna have to respectfully disagree.  Buffy's attraction to Riley was purely a fabrication based on her denial to being attracted to "bad boys," and I think her sex dream about Spike (as Jane Espenson thought) and acknowledging that yes, he is hot/attractive/whatever during Willow's spell is what made her give in to dating Riley in the first place.  Xander, unlike Riley, could handle Buffy's superior strength and not be made to feel inferior because of it.  Also, Xander never would have traipses off to parts unknown, while stepping out for vamp suck jobs.  I think if given half the chance, she would have had oodles more chemistry with Xander than Riley.  But then, I can say that about almost any potential guy for Buffy in the verse.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Jul 28 2009 06:35 am   #35nmcil
Well - you have to give to Xander - he looked darn good in those trunks -
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.