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Vampires Do Not Sparkle! by behind blue eyes
wolf116
08/19/2012 03:18 am
Chapter One
I haven't laughed this hard in so long! This is so brilliant. I have to agree with Spike Twilight is horrible, now the parody of it Vampire's suck that's funny as heck. Loved this, would love to see what Spike's opinion is on the rest of the movies.
Why thank you, wolf116! I'm sorry for the delay (understatement) but I just noticed your review. Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my little one shot!
Meaghen
01/05/2012 10:28 am
Chapter One
That was SO good! I've never actually seen Twilight but I've heard about it. Never had an interest in watching it since I found out they completely changed vampires, but this story kinda made me want to watch it! I was DYING laughing at the end.. that is so funny! The part with the "I don't care how many outside you wear" or whatever was SO good. This was really great. ;)
Thanks so much, Meaghen! I had a lot of fun writing this one. Thanks for taking the time to let me know whatcha thought!
The popcorn was priceless!
Thanks, I kept laughing everytime I read this part while I was editing!
I can't believe I made myself watch the first movie on TV the other night... I thought I had to know what the fuss was all about. I can't believe I wasted my energy on such appalling drivel. I have to say, other than not being X rated, my comments were probably less polite than Spike's!
Fun,
Blue
http://www.tthfanfic.org/authors.php?no=12717&list=profile
Fun,
Blue
http://www.tthfanfic.org/authors.php?no=12717&list=profile
Isn't it awful! I can't believe this is so loved, but then again look at the fans--either middle aged house wife's or tweens!
ROFLMAO -
constipated - glad you explained why Edward is such a big pickle puss.
“Oh, there’s no or, Slayer. It’s both and then some.” Hee - don't forget the Strict Governess!
This is so incredibly timely, I have avoided the T movie for years when I went to the gym last night and what should be playing but Twilght! OMG it was so so so bad. The diaglog was from Hell, the acting was from Tijuana and the sparkling looked like crusted over smallpox scabs.
Loved the story.
The "constipated" look was not only a shot at Edward but at Angel too!!! Hopefully you got that! Ummm...Strict Governess, that's a very interesting concept. Unfortunately, I'm not as lucky as you having avoided Twilight for so long. Ironically tonight my daughter commandeered the remote and forced me to watch it!!!! I think karma was making me it's bitch for writing this one-shot. Well, doesn't matter. If I had a chance, I'd do it again!!!!
Oh, and about the sparkling, I think it resembles a guy that has had his face pressed against a dozen pairs of strippers' breasts instead of crusted over smallpox scabs, but we both agree it's completely unnatural!!!
Thanks for enjoying!!
Oh, and about the sparkling, I think it resembles a guy that has had his face pressed against a dozen pairs of strippers' breasts instead of crusted over smallpox scabs, but we both agree it's completely unnatural!!!
Thanks for enjoying!!
AliAngel77
11/17/2011 12:32 am
Chapter One
That was so funny, are you going to continue it I loved it, I'm a fan if twilight and thought it was funny, ya need to continue it.
Thanks, AliAngel77, for appreciating this one-shot as it was written, for fun. As for a continuation, I don't think so. Buffy couldn't even get Spike, despite promises of outfits, to watch the rest of the movie. Nevermind watching the sequels. However, don't worry, my twisted mind comes up with stuff all the time!
ACK!! I want to go to a movie with Spike and popcorn (SOON)!
I can see Spike's spike all sparkly with salt and butter (yum).
I can see Spike's spike all sparkly with salt and butter (yum).
LOL, MarzBar!! Spike and popcorn= big yum. However, let me clarify, there will be no sparkling for our favorite vampire! Let's just say Spike's spike will be a nummy treat and leave it at that!!
With the title Vampires Do Not Sparkle, I just had to read this, it was really good and funny. Twilight vampires have to be the worst thing ever - so fun has to be made of them at any and every opportunity. By the way I have never heard of Mikes and Ikes but hot tamales sound good, as I love spicy cinnamon (we don't have either here in Scotland).
I'm glad the title caught your eye and compelled you to read. I wholeheartedly agree that Twilight vampires are the worst thing ever. Even if you take away the sparkling, there are so, so many things wrong with them. They don't drain someone to change them into a vampire but poison them with venom. They can enter into a human's home without an invite. They don't sleep--ever. They don't die unless you rip them to shreads and burn them. Staking alone doesn't work. And the only reason why they don't go out in the sun is because they sparkle! Need I go on? Stephanie Meyers took legends that are centuries old and twisted them into this shame! Sorry...I didn't mean to vent.
Anywho, I hope you received the link to the hot tamales and if you get them, I hope you enjoy!
Big hugs!!!!
BBE
Anywho, I hope you received the link to the hot tamales and if you get them, I hope you enjoy!
Big hugs!!!!
BBE
BuffyMeetsSpike
11/13/2011 09:37 pm
Chapter One
I laughed, I cried. I seriously spewed coffee on the monitor.
Highly humorous!
Highly humorous!
So little words that mean so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed!!! Big hugs!
As soon as I saw the name Bella I knew it was Twillight! I have to agree with you. Both of my kids have the books and run to the movies when they come out. I refuse on general principal to read or watch that crap.
I can totally see Spike cutting a hole in the tub of popcorn!! Now that is my kind of popcorn!
And he is right. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE!
I can totally see Spike cutting a hole in the tub of popcorn!! Now that is my kind of popcorn!
And he is right. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE!
Thanks, ginar369! Yeah, I couldn't resist with the fourth movie coming out soon to balance out all the publicity for this crap with a little anti-Twilight, Spike-style!
Since you've been so good to me with reviews, I'll have Spike personally deliver to you a tub of popcorn! YUMMY!!!
Yes...Vampires Do Not Sparkle!!!!!!
Since you've been so good to me with reviews, I'll have Spike personally deliver to you a tub of popcorn! YUMMY!!!
Yes...Vampires Do Not Sparkle!!!!!!
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