Can't say I blame Buffy for being wary, maybe she doesn't feel strong enough to defend herself and Spike against the expected criticism, but she's right about needing to run her own life.  Contacting Dawn makes the most sense but if Dawn's hasn't done some much needed growing up , all bets are off.

Hmm.  I'm not sure who I agree with here.  Buffy is really showing some strength by not talking to them and not relying on their opinions.  However, in a way, she isn't, because she is't really saying "No, I have a different opinion," she's simply not giving them an opportunity to voice theirs at all, so she doesn't have to actually disagree with them. 
However, Spike is sort of doing the same thing - pushing her to so something she doesn't watnt to to.  Is he, therefore, any better than her friends?  They are trying to control her out of love for her as well, aren't they? 
I do happen to think she needs to talk to Dawn, at least - if only to tell her that she's OK and just needs some time to process.  Dawn hasn't shown the same controlling tendencies as the rest of the Europe contingent of Scoobies.  Of course, if Dawn was in on keeping information from Buffy, that's going to be REALLY bad, but it doesn't really strike me as very likely. 
 

There are some really great B/S scenes where Buffy's inexpressiveness and insensitivity, and Spike's defensiveness, play into one another to create a massive pile-up...and then, there are scenes like this one, in which you finds the right words to express all her doubts, and his perceptiveness and gift for words mesh like heaven.  This is one of the best examples of the latter I've read, and I've been reading a lot of BtVS fanfiction over the years.  Thanks. :)

Stonking update. If we needed proof Spike was really back, we have it now and he's not even upto full strength yet. Buffy needs someone to tell her how it is and sometimes make her face her fears. Luckily Spike'll be happy to face them with her. Wonder what Dawn's upto...Loved it.