Oh dear god! He really has gone off the deep end, has gone for a swim, and is now ready to drown. Xander's more freaking insane than Drusilla ever thought about being.

I think Willow is a little outrageous to expect Dawn to be reasonable at this moment. Yes she had good points, especially about how the arguing was not helpful. I just hope they find something soon so they can rescue Spike.

Great Chapter and OMG the suspense is killing me here! I have to meditate to get thru this story...lol. Okay, I have a question here...Angel can smell really well so why isn't he using that talent. Probably stupid but just a thought. Spike did tell Buffy it was Xander and his reaction should have been proof enough but I can't imagine finding out that your best friend is capable of such evil. I am trying to understand everyone's viewpoint but boy can it be hard as in life...I can tell you this Dos...your ability to stir your reading audience is amazing and I applaud you for that. :)

Wow, that was amazing! There's one thing that I don't understand: why is it that Giles isn't getting any of the blame? Buffy went ahead with her plan to get concrete proof of Xander's actions for the ENTIRE group, and he had himself admitted at the time that he had trouble believing in Xander's actions, and if it weren't for Anya's shooting-would still probably be grappling with his defection from the "good guys." Buffy is a Slayer, she's been taught that humans=good, demons=bad: we all know this, it makes it easier for her to go out and slay night, after night. She's already made allowances on the show: she was friendly with Clem, ands even allowed Drusilla to walk away unscathed. She's the slayer, it's her job to protect the humans against the demons, and part of that is defending humanity's right to live. It was what she has been taught, and it's not too hard to see why she's having all of these hang-ups. She's kept herself to a higher standard so she doesn't go the same way as Faith. It's not her job to decide what humans live, and what humans die. Hopefully Xander does something to his parents so that the council, or at least the police, can get involved. Wonderful story, it's amazing to see how you're playing with the characters in an entirely believable situation.

Well, this could get messy.

ok, still thinking about this story too much.
What if Xander had done this to Oz? Or Willow to Cordelia? Or Xander to Giles? What I am getting at is this: how would we all feel if this had been done between 2 of the "core" humans on the show? Obviously, there wouldn't be the "blow off half hs brain" beginning, but the severe torture and such... Would we be on the side of the "there has to be proof" or the "just kill the bad guy!" philosophy? What if we, as readers/viewers still had a shred of doubt ourselves about who the bad guy actually was. (I know this is getting away from DoS's great story, I'm just raising a question about our reactions here.)
I realize that what Xander has done is horrible, and that he's totally bat-stuff insane. As an audience on BSV, we tend to be singing on the "Spike is wonderful" harmonic choir, so we're likely to stick up for him, and cry out for the harm of whoever hurts him. However, we might think about what we'd be saying if this was between two BTVS humans - since unless it were Angel and Spike, which would get us back into the problem mentioned above, we wouldn't care if it were 2 demons.
I also found the reviewer's comment that if the civil authorities handle Xander's crimes (if he does something to his parents, that is) then the group should also have to make Willow face her crime against a human as well very insightful.
Wow. I must feel particularly babbly tonight. Sorry!
DoS - any story that engenders the passion and THOUGHT that this one has is something to be commended. You are writing a very good story here, and have turned it neatly from gripping whodunnit to horror. Your Xander is awesome. Creepy, frightening, sad, paranoia-inducing villain.

very good read, thank you. dawn and angel (i cannot believe am taking any portrayal of him as being right) are the only two facing reality. buffy is committing her second act of betrayal. giles is an ass again, for not challenging the logic willow is using. and red's smile is really annoying.

Wow this is so freakin creepy, this side of Xander. *shudders*

Another awesome chapter!

Okay...been thinking LOTS here. Buffy is emotionally almost the same as she was in S7 of the on screen BtVS! She lovea Spike (in this story she has at least admitted it to herself and to him). BUT.....she still has issues where the Scoobies are concerned. Her desire to deny Xander was responsible led to this terrible plan and Spike's further harm. Say what you will about proving Xander guilty beyond doubt being necessary...IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN NECESSARY TO HER because Spike TOLD her it was Xander!

Dawn and Angel are correct to berate her just wrong in the timing of it. The priority has to be to locate and save Spike then sort out the rubble. Willow was ONLY right to say the important thing was to work together to find Xander. The rest of her crap was just that....crap. Had it been Tara and Tara had told who had harmed her I doubt Willow would have waited a moment to find "proof" for the rest of the guys before going off half cocked! Buffy's pitty me party of tears has delayed Spike's saving every bit as long as Angel and Dawn's blame game. They all need to grow up and get with the program.

As for Xander I really have no idea what would be justice here. I don't want him to kill his parents and be dealt with by the law as it negates what he did to Spike. No matter how over the top crazy Xander is (and he is totally off the spool) he was NOT that crazy when he initially grabbed, shot and tortured Spike! During that same period he had the presence of mind to save the world from Darth Willow adn conduct his life in a normal fashion. No it can't be sluffed off as insanity.

Justice must be done but what that should be I am not sure about. I look forward to seeing how you work out the dilema! You have never failed to satisfy in any of your stories.

So well done! BTW, I've started reading this one to my husband as we drive from job site to job site (He's a Suffy fan and loves the good fic). He is as engaged as I am.

Kathleen

Dawn seriously needed a step back. Her anger and hatred of Buffy isn't helping ANYONE here. I'm really glad Willow pointed that out to her.

Buffy and Xander have been BFF for practically SEVEN YEARS. That's not something she can toss out so readily, sorry. Yes, her plan was a little hay-wire, but Buffy thinks she's the strong one.

And personally, I don't think it should be up to Buffy or Angel as to how Xander gets his; I think it should be SPIKE'S choice. And in the end, I think he'll be the one to do something about it.

See how involved you've got me in this? ^_^ Well done!

~Nebula

"'He hurt Spike the first time – but it’s *your* fault Xander’s got him now!'" Watch out, Buffy. I think you got a little truth on your shirt :)

I'd say that it's hard to believe that Buffy would go ahead with her plan after she's already admitted to herself and to Spike that she loves him. However, knowing canon Buffy up to the start of BHNM, and knowing the BHNM Buffy, I'm not surprised that she let Xander get to Spike. I'm not surprised that she's still protecting Xander after she has concrete proof that he not only hurt Spike, but is also capable to hurting the people who he claims to loves, namely Anya.

Buffy stringently adheres to her own personal Slayer system of laws and morals. Human = good. Demon = bad. Humans are subject to manmade laws. Demons are subject to slaying. Buffy draws a line between good and evil, between right and wrong, between what is slaying and what is murder, and she does not cross it. I know that Buffy can seem unfair, but if you look at things from her perspective, it is neccessary for her to do her job as a Slayer. If she saw herself as a murderer, then she would shut down as she did in "Dead Things." Buffy has to see the black and the white in order to fulfill her calling.

When people (Xander) and demons (Spike) cross the line between good and evil, Buffy's world gets turned upside down. That's why she has so much trouble accepting Spike's love for her, and that's why she's having so much trouble accepting Xander's dark side. Buffy had all the proof in the world that Spike loved her, but she did everything that she could not to see the truth. Now, she has all the proof that she needs that Xander has gone to the dark side, and she is doing everything not to see the truth: Xander tortured Spike, he shot Anya, and he may need to be stopped before he harms anyone else.

Wow! That was beyond interesting. This fic has so many twists and turns - very taut and inventive writing. But what really makes this fic so compelling is your characterizations. There are no simply good or simply evil characters here. You just keep uncovering new depths. Every character has a plausible motivation that explains his or her actions - no matter how thoughtless (Buffy and Willow) or evil (Xander). You don't give us any easy answers. I love it and can't wait to read more.

SO.....Xannibal Hector is going to kill Mommeh and Daddums... maybe that will keep him occupied until the slowest moving rescue party ever figures out what to do.

Go Willow! - an actual voice of reason! The folks in that house sure need it! Was she talking to us readers, too? :)
Actually, it seemed like the characters _were_ some of your readers...or an amalgamation of all of us.
If Xander does what he seems to be planning to, and kills his parents, then it's really up to the official law of Sunnydale to deal with him - it's not a question of him harming demons at that point, but ordinary humans. In his mental state, he could plead insanity - he really is crazy at the moment, and it'd probably work, since he'd likely tell them about his hatred for vampires, his demon ex-girlfriend and so forth as well.

Please let Spike's mind hit on some solution to save himself during the interlude from Xander's terror! I just know the parents are in for it and that gives me serious squiggies.

Uhoh...I think I know what he is up to, but I guess we will just have to see. Very good chapter!

Can't Willow and Dawn chat about their differences after they've found Spike? All this best friends crap is doing my head in! It seems to be that poor Spike hasn't got one.

Remember in some of the early chapters when Buffy was all hellbent on revenge against whoever did this against Spike. I got the impression she was all "show no mercy". But now that it has revealed that it was human that did it and one of her supposed best friends she's all: "Ooh we must help him. It's not right to kill him."
I think someone (maybe Anya, who must have been hurt by Xander's betrayal more than anyone) should point that out to her.

And I agree that Spike should leave with Angel at least until he is fully recovered (if that is possible, we all asume that and hope for that but it's not a given). I wouldn't mind if this one has not a spuffy ending (and I am a die hard Spuffy Fan) and ends with Buffy mourning her lost opportunities, while Spike even he still feels for Buffy stays away with Angel and lives content in LA.

:o OMFG.... he wouldnt!?! he is borderline horror movie character right now... anyone else agree?? *looks around frantically*

I really liked willow in this chapter. she took charge and got everybody (sort of) working together. This is a willow I like, confident and not looking for excuses. The way she put Dawn in her place was great.

I liked how giles is so concerned about Anya, they'll make a great couple and she'll help giles in seeing the gray areas :) Afterall, how much greyer can you get when dating a demon ^^

Xander gives me the chills, it's not his actual behaviour that makes me want to run for the hills. It's the knowledge that this situation is so real and could be happening somewhere in the world right now that is chilling me to the bone. (well, maybe except the part of having a frightened vampire locked up ;) )

Great chapter! Eagerly awaiting the next ;)

Xander's gone off the deep end. I hope the others find and help Spike, then hurt Xander a lot.

Creepy...Xander has really lost it,and I just want Willow to do the location spell before even more people is hurt.

I have to give you credit for actually making me agree with Angel. There are very few stories where I think that Angel is a sympathic character, but this is certainly one of them.

Keep the goodness coming:)

Yeah arguing isn't going to accomplish anything at the moment. I can see Willow and Buffy's point. Xander may need help but he must pay for what he's done. Do hope he takes his time in shotting his father wondering if he'll shot his mother too? Weird for Dawn and Angel agreeing to anything. Now find Spike. Excellent chapter DOS, thanks.

*“He’s sick, Buffy! He’s a sick, perverted monster, and you’re *defending* him?* I agree. See I always knew there was a reason I like (canon)Dawn even though everyone else refused to.

this story is getting even better. I wonder what will willow and buffy do when they findout their precious friend is planning to kill his own parents who are human!
I can't belive buffy is still hesisating to kill xander after all he has done!

Ad by the way it was evil, leaving the story where you left, can't wait to read more!

If you decide to kill the parents you are giving Xander an excuse and an excuse for the Scoobies to forgive him. After all, vengeance was the reason for the Willow's "sabbatical" to the "mother" country,instead of letting the human world deal with it as Buffy claimed.

If it was ok for Willow then it will be ok for Xander. Now we have Xander going on Sabbactical to become reformed?

I feel if you go this route, you must be prepared to deal with what Joss didn't--Willow killing someone. If you punish Xander for killing his parents(if you do kill the parents)...you must punish Willow somehow.

Keep the parents alive and set the stage for the punishment to be the result of the spike torture and not the human world. Or, realistically the Scoobies learn nothing.

But I do agree that in the reverse, Spike would be dust, and Xander wouldn't have been put through the same Spike has. Dawn needs to remember that, and save it for later, as there just isn't time for it now.

I'm still hoping Spike volunteers to go with Angel for a while after this...make Buffy chase afte him and have to earn him back. And Dawn can visit on weekends when she's not in school.

oy. I have to say, if your goal was to make people develop a seething hatred for Dawn, Buffy, Giles, Willow & even Angel, mission accomplished. lol. Personally I think they should all be tortured & killed off & Spike should be sent to the alternate dimension where the REAL Buffy must be hiding!

I truly have no clue as to how this fic could ever end Spuffy friendly, which saddens me so. And please, I mean no disrespect & am NOT trying to flame you or anything. I just simply don't understand. It would appear Spike truly is the idiot Xander accuses him of being if he were to ever even contemplate having any type of friendly relationship with the Buffy from this 'verse. And that is difficult for me to say, considering how much I've always love Buffy & have always been a Spuffy shipper! Maybe thats why your stories, while amazingly written, have always been hard for me to read - You must really not like her, guessing by how you write her.

So - if you dislike her so much, why do you pair Spike with her? It wouldn't surprise me to hear you write/prefer Spangel stories.

Again, I don't mean to fight w/ you, I'm simply curious. And no matter what will continue on as one of your loyal readers. :)

Um, Xander would actually be 21-22, not 23, if this is still 2002.

Okay, it's clear that even if Spike has his vampiric strength and speed back, at least more than a human's, he isn't aware of it...doesn't have it as instinctual to use. As long as it's night outside, he'd normally have no problem getting out past Xander and being long gone. I wish his demon would come out to take care of the situation.

Very surprising to see Willow all confident and take charge. She was very wary about going back to her friends in canon, after what she'd done. But, since she hasn't had a front row seat for this mess, I guess she's the best to have a bit of distance and logic towards the problem. And Dawn's anger does have to wait, or at least be channeled elsewhere until Spike is safe again.

That's one thing about Angel - he's not for hashing over the same thing over and over again when a plan needs to be carried out. It's make a decision and go with it (right or wrong).

Hmm...wonder how much Xander sees his mother as a victim, or an enabler....but it's doubtful at this point that he's rational enough to "save" her from her husband.

Suddenly Willow's become the voice of reason, and Xander's lost what little sanity he had left. If he actually kills his folks that makes Buffy's job easier - she can leave the mess for the police to deal with.

So, I saved up four chapters to read at once in order ot get past the worst of it.

Oh my, you write well, but I'm just going to sit here and shake for a while. Maybe have my husband hold me for a bit.

Well Willow's full of crap. Her best friend came to her with info anout anothe best friend and she doesnt believe it. The bitch needs to be slapped. "Oh, wouldn't you defend him." blah blah blah Willow, shut your yap. Angel and Dawn are right, KILL Xander. hee hee hee. I hope Angel or Spike does. Can't wait for more.

"....and you hadn’t seen it for yourself, with your own eyes – don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t defend him.”

Okay now Willow's just spouting a whole lot of bull here. Buffy may not have seen the act itself but she has seen the aftermath, Anya has been shot, and Spike is in danger once more. How much more does she need to "see" in order to believe that Xander needs to be stopped? At this point I've got to say that I agree with Dawn.

"After all, he’s *human*. The only people he’s hurt aren’t really people anyway, so what does the *Slayer* care?”


If the positions had been reversed none of this "discussion" would have taken place. Spike's dust would be blowing in the wind for hurting the "good human." Sure Buffy does care some, but it doesn't seem to be enough because it's starting to look like she's putting Xander's wellbeing before Spike's.

I'm in Dawn and Angel's corner and I say make the jerk pay. Also, Buffy shouldn't be allowed near Spike for awhile. She can't be trusted. :grr:

Ranting aside, it's a great story and you need to update soon! Please. :)

Allow me to stand in for Dawn on this one, shall I?

*ahem*

"Yea Willow, I would give him the benifit of the doubt. Of course, you and Buffy wouldn't listen to me. Infact, you'd already be heading over to where ever Spike was and be getting ready to kill him. Me, atleast I haven't run off. You ...you'd be getting ready to skin him like a fish, and Buffy would watch. She might even cheer. But oh no, Dawn even speaks of killing Spike, and that is sooooo wrong!" A pause. "And I am so sorry I wasted so much time...gee, a minute of fighting verses Buffy's five minute sob fest...which you, Buffy and Giles don't seem to mind. But hey! When its you that wants to take a break, then its a-ok." Another pause. "And by the way... I would never have put Xander in that position to be taken back by Spike."

A good arguement by Willow, by the way. Just my response to it.


I will also give you a bit of warning now, pertaining to the future: If you pull something where Xander isn't punished for what he did to Spike, but instead for whatever he does to his parents (who deserve to get some payback), OR he ends up in a nuttyfarm/prison...you'll have a riot on your hands.

That would be like Gandalf and Aragorn riding up to the Black Gate, only for a God to descend and go, "I'll fix it...Shazam!...all better, he's gone."

Go Insightful Willow--best possible way I can think of to get the rescue effort back on track.

I think Xander has just slipped right off that slippery slope and is just about to do things that he never thought he'd do to humans.

To chime in on why Willow's argument doesn't work: as others have noted, even if Xander's friends wanted conclusive proof (as if they didn't have darned good proof already), they would have tried harder to think of a way of getting that proof in a way that didn't put Spike in the position of having to confront his (almost certain) abuser ALONE if they had any real concern for Spike. So for me, any Spuffy outcome is going to have to overcome the strong evidence that Buffy really doesn't care about Spike's well-being. Not in any real -- when the rubber hits the road -- sort of way. Cause I don't think, if situations were reversed, that she'd have subjected Xander to any risk or even the emotional trauma of this plan just to "prove" that Spike was really the guilty party. In other words, it's not just that she didn't want to believe that Xander is guilty, it's that she didn't care about what Spike would have to be subjected to in order to get the "evidence". Even if the plan hadn't gone badly (and we all knew it was going to go badly), just forcing him into that situation when he's still so emotionally vulnerable speaks volumes about how much she doesn't care about him.

Meanwhile, the story remains gripping -- and any story that generates all this sort of discussion is obviously hitting a nerve. Thanks for all your hard work!

gotta agree with dawn not willow here -- if the positions were reversed, none of the scoobies *except* dawn would give spike any benefit of any dount. plus buffy would never ask xander to put himself out as bait immediately after suffering extreme torture for prolonged period of time.

the bottom line is buffy put her friendship with xander above her promise to spike, and i hope dawn and angel (and spike!) don't just forgive and forget, either xander *or* buffy!

(btw, i really hope this doesn't turn into "poor xander, abused as a child, he's not responsible for what he's doing" -- whatever abuse someone may have suffered as a child, an adult should be held responsible for his/her actions; i'm *so* sick of news stories of all sorts of people getting off committing horrible crimes using the but-he-was-just-a-victim-himself excuse.)

Thanks for the quick update. I certainly hope you are not going to have Xander kill his parents. If that happens there will be no chance of redemption for him. Although, I want Xander to be punished for what he did to Spike and now Anya I don't there will be any chance that he could remain living if he killed his parents.

OH MAN YOUR KILLIN ME! Thank you thank you thank you! My mind is moving a thousand miles a minute! I can't wait for the next update!

Thanks for the update, I don't review often but I love this story. Just one thing. Willow's little speech about Spike being Dawn's best friend and if the roles were reversed how Dawn would want proof? Dawn should have pointed out that if the roles were reversed and if they thought for one minute that Spike had hurt Xander like that, they would have staked first and questioned later. It's only because Xander is human that they want proof and that SHOULD have been thrown in Willow's face.

Great story though, love it!

"“If it was Spike – you’d have wanted to give him every benefit of the doubt – wouldn’t you?”"

HELLO! Reality Check, dumb wicca! There was no doubt. Spike already confirmed the identity of his torturer. He was in no state to lie and Buffy herself got the proof cause Xander knew things he had no way of knowing if he was not guilty.

And by the way; Dawn may have given Spike the benefit of the doubt if the roles were reversed, but it wouldn't have mattered, cause everybody else would have staked Spike first and asked questions later.

And I wonder if they would have vote so vehemently to "help" Spike if the roles were reversed. But no it's Xander of course he can't be responsible for his own actions. He had a bad childhood boohoo. That doesn't excuse anything.

And why the hell doesn't Willow already start with the location spell while the others were argueing, it's not like she needs them for the spell.

I have the bad feeling Xander's going to kill his parents and make it look like Spike did it, than offers the excuse he had to dust him because he attacked humans. And the worst is, he still could get away with it (at least with Buffy and Willow). That's my impression.

Ooh I can't wait for the next update. Great work.

Yay, finally someone shut Dawn the hell up........

Xander is beyond creepy. And, the Scoobies are beyond stupid. Xander could have dusted Spike twn times over while they were arguing.