Yay~!!

At least Spike didn't stay with Buffy. I'm all for Spuffy and even though i had harsh words i really am enjoying this story. But in THIS fic i just can't Buffy. She's not stupid, she knew what she was doing and ignored Spikes feelings purposely and put him and everyone in danger on purpose for her own selfish reasons.

Hope Spikes stays in LA.

i feel so sorry for buffy, right. very good chapter, thank you.

BTW - regarding chapter 56...

I have to admit you rwiews are almost as entertaining as your story! So many different opinions.

And the thing about Spike saying bye to Dawn - what I was getting at there is the fact he said nothing to Buffy. Nothing. Didn't leave her a note. didn't have anyone give her a message. This makes me of the opinion that maybe it isn't Buffy that doesn't deserve Spike. Maybe it's Spike that doesn't deserve Buffy? WOw - how cruel of me is that to say?!!!

Oh dear! This chapter was beautiful. Every emotion was in this chappie, and I had to try hard not to tear up! Very very good! Now Buffy has to get Spike back and tell him that she is VERY VERY VERY VERY sorry! :) I love it!

It's an amazingly good story you are writing here, you really have the right feeling for the charachters and how to twist and bend them just the right amount.

Good call on Xander; a very Whedon form of justice. Looking forward to more of the same when it comes to him.

Now I'm just waiting to see how you're gonna deal with Riley. He has to be in on this with Xander, there's no doubt in my mind. The timing is just too much of a coincidence. Or...?

As for Angel waiting too long to come, I don't think Spike will be *that* disappointed...really...because this is what he would expect from Angel, anyway. Spike probably wasn't even conscious of calling for "family"..the demon probably did it for him, but even so, Angel didn't do anything other than what Spike would expect. They have enough animosity on both sides, that Spike would consider it a long shot. It's why most people when they write Spike going to Angel for help, that Spike asks for sanctuary in person. A remote call would be ignored.

The important thing is that Angel is making up for it now. I'm sure he didn't expect to find Spike as damaged as he was...Spike being known for miraculous last-minute saves...but seeing was believing, and now, here we are. Because at one point among the Scourge, family mattered, as much as evil demons could allow.

Well Xander certainly took care of the situation himself. Its probably better that he didn't die, though. A very good way to end that situation. And now Spike has to go to a place where he feels safe, and its surprising how protective Angel is over him. I like the way you depict the two of them in this story, and how Spike changes as his memories return.

Thanks for letting him live. He'll never forget what he did or what he lost, every time he looks in the mirror. Had a feeling that Spike would go with Angel. He just can't be around her right now. And she needs to suffer more, oh yeah, a lot more! Poor little Dawn, she didn't need to see that but it's a very real lesson that she's now learned. All about what emotions can do to you, good and bad and the consequences surrounding the decisions that you make. Thanks for continuing this fantastic fic DOS.

So, in the last chapter, I thought that maybe Xander had the empty gun. Then I read that he did shoot himself in the face. Then we find out that he's not really dead. All this in a few paragraphs. Woman, you're writing is like a bumpy roller coaster. Luckily, I happen to like thrill rides.

Can't say that I'm glad Spike left, or that I saw it coming. Guess it would make sense since Angel is the only adult that has treated Spike well since he was rescued from Xander. Also, Spike wouldn't want to be around one of his abusers right now. However, Spike doesn't know that Angel knew that he was in trouble and did nothing. Whether Spike stays with Angel or returns to Buffy, I think that fact--Angel's mistake--should be given to Spike. If Angel had done something sooner, Spike would have been spared some torment.

As for Buffy, glad that she finally realizes the error of her ways. Her cockamamie plan started a whole chain of horrific events. She isn't the only one at fault. Anyone of the adults could have stopped her, helped her figure out a different way to trap Xander. Even Spike is to blame in part since he agreed to go along with Buffy's plan.

No one in this story is innocent. Angel should have come for Spike sooner. Buffy should have abandoned her hair-brained plan. Anya should have spoken up about Xander's abuse. Perhaps that would have gotten him help before it was too late. Willow should have been more careful with her magic. Giles should have seen the shades of grey. Dawn should have been more patient with Buffy. Spike should have told Buffy no for once. Xander's mistakes are too numerous to list. Everyone has both good and bad in them. You've painted a very real picture of how people really are.

Question: WHERE THE HELL IS RILEY?

I had a feeling that Spike might leave with Angel - probably best thing for him now. Never thought I'd say that being with Angel might be good for Spike. Kind of feel sorry for Buffy. I think she's really had her eyes opened at last. I think she loves Spike, but I think she takes both him and his resilience for granted. Somehow, she seems to believe that Spike can take anything and bounce back good as new. I think that it took this to make her see that he's as breakable as any other person, and that she's the one who can really break him whether that's her intention or not. It's gonna take a lot for her to mend this - not sure she can prove she really loves him at this point. Can't wait to where you're going with this. :)

oh! He's not dead! interesting. I can't wait to see waht happens with him now. I dont hate any of them - not even Xander. They are all just trying to deal the best way they can, in one impossible situation after another. They can't do the right thing ALL the time. (I think you commented once that you didn't know why people disliked Dawn, when she is the only one to always stand up for Spike in the series. Personally, it's not so much the character, as the feeling that she was thrown in by the writers to lure a younger audience. She doesn't belong there, magic monks or not. I could buy into the whole supernatural universe that was the show, but when they made Dawn out of a ball of energy and Buffy's blood, it really just took something away from the whole thing for me. Sorry for my diversion from your review...)
I think the best quality of your writing is your ability to manipulate the emotions of your reader. You are FANTASTIC at that. (Hey- if you could manage to actually make me like DAWN in something you write someday, I'll bow before you! *grin*)

Cruel writer drives a stake through the reader's heart. Reader waits anxiously for the next 12 chapters. Another great one, DOS.

I've been waiting for the right moment to review, and this seems to be it. So here goes.

I think you are doing a wonderful job with each and every single character!

I think the storyline you have written is not only believable, but very real.

I like the way you set up the Spike and Xander conflict. It is actually very similar to tactics used by police for years. Fortunately, their suspects don't have the benefit of magic.

Spike needed to face Xander, and fave his fears and find his footing again. Spike may indeed never be the same again, but I'm not sure who he would have been if this confrontation hadn't happened.

I think it is good for Spike and Buffy to have some time and space to get their own heads a bit straight before trying to get into each other's headspace.

I fear Spike's reaction when he realizes that Angel knew of his suffering and was even asked for help in finding him. And I seriously doubt that the LA Crew will be all open arms on his arrival. Well, maybe Fred.

I'm glad we were on the same Karmic thought regarding Xander's suicide attempt.

I understand Buffy's reactions and flaws and attributes, and her need.

And her love.

I have faith in this story and the way you are telling it.

Thank you for a wonderful story so far.

Ohhh my goodness... not back to LA... Angel is a freakin' liar!!! Cannot wait till Buffy and Spike can get into the same room together and talk! Oh the angst... I'm loving it!!!!!

Oh, god...Mr. Chaos, I'm falling out my chair laughing!

A bit of Queen C, and the whole Fang Gang having Spike's back would be awesome. Spike so needs friends! And he has a lot more in common with that group, anyway.

I hope next chapter is mostly Angel and Spike, though you can certainly answer whether Xander lives or not.

I don't think Buffy is going to respond well to the news that Spike has left. Although I can understand why he would've wanted to. Angel is one of the only people who has been consistently on his side since this thing happened, without wavering. Yes, mostly because there was no love lost between Angel and Xander, but still it has to be comforting to have that security given how many things he is confused about right now. As much as Buffy might want to talk to him, I think she needs to understand that he might need some space to figure things out

Sign me up for the torture route. I want to see Buffy squirm real hard.

And to the person that said that Buffy shouldn't be scorn for making some mistakes...her mistakes have caused some suffering from brain damage to be kidnapped, a woman to be shot, and 2 people killed.

But most of all, Buffy claims to love Spike, yet she was willing to put him in a situation with his attacker. I don't know about you, but I would never let someone I love do that. EVER.

I second Cordy giving Buffy the verbal smack. I also raise the Fang Gang stepping up and becoming Spike's friends (Hell, maybe he can make sure some of the crap that happened in that season of angel doesn't go down!).

Now, if only we could get Angel mad and have him say, "Look at it this way, Buffy...the way I feel now, we could screw till the cows came home and my soul would stay perfectly in place."

err- I meant Dawn there.

K, I'm done now... ;)

PS - Amen to what Elizabeth Anne Summers said.

And I know it's mean, but I'm totally thrilled Spike left without saying anything to Angel! I do so hope she'll be hurt by that! But know him, he & Angel are both big enough asses that one of them are bound to call/talk to to Dawn on the phone. But I hope not!! hehe. Maybe she'll try to go to LA & crash the car!! That'd be awesome! :D

“When I come home – we need to talk – okay?” She hesitated, before adding softly, “Please?”

She has absolutely no right to demand anything from Spike, let alone force him to talk to her.

“He’s gone. He left. He went back to L.A. with Angel.”

I'm surprised he would go with him. Apparently there's still some residual feelings of what happened between them when Spike was traumatized.

That I liked. Let Spike have some time on his own.Buffy should let him have some time,and let him come to her. She shouldn`t be allowed to say she`s sorry and by that feel a little bit better about herself. Can`t wait to see what happens next. Angel has really stood up for his childe,I love it:D

Good chapter. I understand why Spike left. He really had no choice for his emotional well-being, but it is funny to me how everyone considers Angel to be the big hero. I guess everyone has forgotten how Angel knew Spike was suffering but did nothing about it. (Why does he get a free pass now that he is trying to help Spike?) A lot of people are on the I hate Buffy bandwagon but I don't think it is fair. Buffy is still a young adult with a lot of responsibility and really no one to help her. It is quite understandable that she would not have the answers to everything and that she would and will continue to make a lot of mistakes. Everyone told her what a bad idea her plan was but no one really gave her any help it appears in the planning just like with everything else in her life. I like the Buffy character although I think she has a lot of flaws. I do hope that you don't make Spike and Buffy go through a lot of angst to mend their relationship. A little angst is okay but a lot is torture.

He LEFT? Somehow, I'll bet it was Angel's idea. I'll bet Dawn stays traumatized for a long time. Looking forward to the conclusion, and Xander's condition.

I'm in on the big happy dance about Spike leaving. Personally, I wouldn't have him come back -- but at least this way Buffy has to do some crawling. (I'll settle for what I can get). Meanwhile, I'm really hoping that when Buffy goes running off to LA that you let Cordy be the mouthpiece for those of us who thinks she needs a massive reality check. I think that would be a hoot.

Good call to let Xander live. Looking forward to more!

Am I a bad person for not really caring if Xander lives or dies?? I am just so on the edge right now. Spike has been put through more than any body should have to bear. And he put himself between Xander and his death by the hands of Willow. He has to feel depleated. So him wanting some space I can understand. I can see him reaching out to Angel. In a way I do feel sorry for Buffy but she should have listened to him, Dawn, Giles, Anya and even Angel. But she didn't. She had to see with her own eyes and now look at the situation. Awesome chapter.

Well, I certainly don't blame Spike for leaving. Buffy has a lot of crow to eat.

so xander isn't dead. i wonder i he'll servive. spike left. good. he needs space, time to clear his head. and buffy too. wonder how she's going to make this up to him, and make him believe that she loves him? great chappie, hun. can't wait for more.

Okay...long winded me.....I have sympathy for every single person here (even a bit for Xander...but not for what he did to others, only what was done to damage him). Buffy is not long from her own emotional breakdown after her mom died and she went catatonic....never really recovered from that. She is young and made some BIG mistakes, not just with this plan either, and now is in fear of losing all. Loads of pathos all in character and all multi-dimensional. Hon if this doesn't win a boatload of awards over the next few years there is just no justice!

Love that your mind already went where mine did after last chapter....I'm grinning like a loon that Xan didn't just die. Now I'd really be creeped out if you had tapped into the dream I had about this story! You remember the episode where Xander was split in two? I dreamed he used that stick on himself to double his income potential pre wedding only to have "evil Xander" truss up the doofus, walk out on Anya, do all this damage and never intend to reintegrate. In my dream they were all upset about what Xander did to himself only to hear his voice call out for help and the group see a goofy looking Xander tied in the closet or something!.....You are evil to give me dreams of Xander in any form!!!! LOL

Kathleen

Oh yeah! The evil vengeful me is cheering that Xander is getting a dose of his own medicine instead of a quick out.

Spike leaving with Angel makes PERFECT sense. He has so much to process. One thing about Spike though is that he always understood Buffy (all that S6 stuff wasn't masochism, he understood what she was dealing with on some basic level and gave her a pass)....it may take a while this time because he'll have to reprocess all THAT on top of the new stuff but he WILL understand (not agree or like, but understand) where she was coming from. No one knows her like Spike. The one who will not want her in Spike's life again will be Angel....for Spike's sake this time *G*.

Hope there are at least several chapters left to deal with all this! Xander, Willow, Dawn (her depths of hatred and capacity for violence have to chill her after this), Buffy......every one of these people! I love your writing and it will not be anti-climatic to follow the fall out!

You ROCK, babe! Love every one of your stories but this is your masterwork.

Kathleen

WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Need Spike!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well ouch. It's probably for the best, though. He needs to heal and recuperate, and Buffy has never been the most restful person. This was a really moving update. Very emotional. Can't wait for more.

YYYYYEEESSSSSSS!

*Happy dance at Spike finally, FINALLY!, doing what he should have done in the first place: Leave Buffy to her pity parties, double talk, and Xander defending*

no, buffy, don't listen to the voice in your head telling you spike needs space, and time, and it'll take a *lot* for him to trust you again -- it's *way* more important that you make yourself feel better by forcing spike to accept your apology whether he wants to or not!

typical it's-all-about-me buffy, she still always sees everything and everybody in relation to herself only.

good for angel -- i hope spike has a good long visit and makes some good new friends there who all appreciate him like only dawn does in sunnydale!

I'm glad you gave them some space by having Spike leave. Emotion running that high breathing room is needed. Excellent chapter

YEA!!!! GOOD! Finally maybe now Spike will get alittle of the respect he deserves! I have never been much of an Angel fan but this story has made me more of an Angel fan than i ever was on any of the shows! Great chapter! Buffy needs to realize what exactly she has done and stew in her own juices for while i think! Let Spike in peace and let him recover! THank you !

Oh I love Spike and Angel's bonding...but poor Buffy! I'm totally torn between whether I think Spike's leaving is good or bad....fantastic chapter!

At least Buffy sees how badly she's screwed up, though it's hardly her fault the Harrises are dead. She needs to sort her head out before anything else.

Good for him. Hope he never comes back to her. What? Didn't you know I'm the president of We hate Buffy Club? Oh alright, they can patch up but not too soon. She's been terrible and not just with the stupid plan but before that too.

Who could blame him if he never came back? I fear that this time she's going to be a bit too late with apologies.

I know some people aren't going to understand Spike leaving, but I think it makes perfect sense.

He just got back the rest of him memories, like, in the past couple hours, so there's mass jumblement in his head. 2, he's been through a ton of trauma, and desperately needs a break away from all this. And really, Angel's the only person who won't make demands on him emotionally. He's going through so much in his own head, that he *can't* spare any for Dawn, or Buffy, or anyone else. And that's not bad or wrong...it just is.

Going to Angel's gives him the chance to rest in peace and quiet, and even get back to doing something normal, like a casual patrol in L.A. And finding that old dynamic with Angel will help him reconnect with "old Spike". This really is the best decision for him for healing. It's Spike's version of going to a spa or a retreat.

And honestly, Buffy has too much she *has* to deal with right now to have time for Spike's massive traumas. We all know that the group is going to look to her to hold everyone together while this mess with Xander is sorted out. And she *should* be focusing on that. Her little sister really needs her. Willow really needs her.

Yes! Knew he wouldn't stay there. At the moment, Buffy, and her house, are not his home. And certainly not the place he'd feel most safe. Angel's hotel is new to him, Angel has been remarkably decent and understanding, and Spike needs any semblance of *normal* he can find right now.

I hope she leaves him with at least a few days to get his thoughts and feelings in order. The last thing he needs right now are people with self-serving motives around.

And Xander didn't aim well...figures. Blew out his cheek, huh? That'll certainly take hours of plastic surgery, if he lives.

Poor Dawn...hard enough when you're young to see that in movies, let along real life. I imagine her nightmares will be back.

Cool road trip... Gotta say I'm surprised that Xander is still kickin'. Personally, I wouldn't want to survive; maimed with serious jail time ahead, but hey maybe that is justice.

Great story btw.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Spike left! Aha! Now it's Buffy's turn to suffer! Good! During the show especially season 6 I wanted Spike to leave Buffy so she can understand what she had, girls are funny that way they only give value to the ones that make them suffer and chase!

Geart Chapter by the way! Update soon please!

So wait...Spike remembers his memories of the torture...memories of pre-xander. All these memories are with Dawn protecting him and he leaves????

Are we getting the chapter of him at least trying to talk to a traumatized Dawn?

No tempertantrum from Dawn about him leaving??

Got to say...Spike leaving Sunnydale was not the option I expected you to take.

If he was ready to die for HIS girls...why would he leave even if he suffered greatly?

What's Buffy gonna do now? I feel kinda sorry for Buffy.
Great chapter.

:o goodness she break...

:dance: Spike went with Angel! Spike went with Angel!

Okay, I'm done know.

I love how this chapter went. Xander now get's to live in the same manner Spike did, (unless you off him)and human brains generally do not recover from that type of trauma.

Now Buffy gets to deal with how badly she really messed things up because Spike doesn't trust her anymore. How you handle this whole thing is going to be very interesting.

:dance: Spike went with Angel!

Sorry...couldn't resist. ;)

Xander needs to die.

I knew it.....as soon as he said "let's get out of here."
I like the Spike and Angel dynamic, as I think there's is a relationship that so often gets put on the back burner in fanfic.
Honestly, I started out really wanting a Spuffy ending for this, but right now I don't see that happening (unless oyu intend to have like 8,000 more chapters.
Though perhaps you have something up your sleeve that I haven't thought of. ;)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! *storms off to drag him back by the ear and stake Angel in the process* Men are so STUPID