***sobs*** oh my gosh! i don't think i could finish reading...i'm so emotional right now...couldn't stop crying... so, very touching.... ***sobs*** you are such a brilliant writer!

Beautiful!

A girl misses a couple of updates...

OK, now i need to get the tears out of my eyes so I can go to class.

You're seriously killing me right now. *sigh* I mean, I get why it has to happen... it's good for both of them, but *arghhhh*
This is why I try not to read anything you write until it is complete because of the torture. (at least I tell myself not to read it, but I've never been successful. Not once. You're just too good a writer to resist.)

This chapter was so beautiful and incredibly written and heartwrenchingly intense *gush!* amazing job! I think this is the first time I've ever come thisclose to crying during a fic :) Can't wait to see what happens next!

both buffy and spike showing signs of, if not wisdom,at least growing mature. excellent chapter, thank you.

Oh, this breaks my heart, so proud of Buffy.

Awwww! You made me cry!

Yes! that's about as honest has they've been with each other ever! Want she's done to him over the last two years and longer, isn't anything that's going to be solved this soon. It might have if he know what he was dealing with but since she waited for six weeks before she had the courage to face him this might have gone differently for them. She needs to feel what it's been like for him all this time, not being with the one that you love and not knowing if you ever will. Wonderful done DOS, thank you for staying true to this story and not making this easy.

Just so you know, explaining why I'm crying like an idiot here at work is difficult. I loved the chapter in spite of the tears.

Damn. That was one hell of a chapter.

Very nice. I hope would ends up happening is that Buffy wises up to the fact that Spike is still William, the Victorian Gentlemen, and realizes the best way to help prove she loves him is to let him court her.

Simply stunning. Nobody explores the relationship between Spike and Buffy with the depth and understanding that you do. This chapter proves again just what a powerful talent you are. You always give us so much to think about, and that's why we keep coming back for more.

Boy, you are really not going to let these two off easy. That was awesome. Hope he's going to run after her now that he sees Buffy is willing to do what he needs, even if it hurts. Hope the sun isn't shining.

If you don't have him chase her out the door in the next chapter I swear I'll throw something....

*grumbles*

Elizabeth Anne Summers - Are we really the only ones that think this way?

Yes Buffy, do go. The ass does not deserve you. If he can't get over the fact you were trying to keep Xander & you both alive because she FREAKING LOVED BOTH YOU!!! Then I say, 'stake him, move on to a different dimension where a nice Spike still resides. Because that was so freaking unfair of him to bitch & moan that she didn't contact him for six weeks when she thought she was doing what he wanted & then say 'never mind, go away'.

OMG! I'm so mad right now! because you made me hat Spike! NO one has ever made me hate Spike!

WHHHYYYY??!?!?

*goes off to cry*

In the last chapter, you gave us Buffy's realization that the way that she treated Spike made her a monster. In this chapter, you give something else that we never got on the show. Spike realizes his mistake with Buffy: “…tried to join you in the light…you just kept bloody pushing me out again. So -- I thought the only way to be with you...was to pull you into the dark, with me.” This story has been just as cathartic for us as it has been for the characters. Thank you for the gift of Season 6 closure :)

Spike's love for Buffy makes it relatively easy for him to forgive her, even if he's not able to forget her treatment of him. It's hard for Buffy to ask his forgiveness, but it's just as hard-if not harder--for Spike to ask her to leave. He's always given into her whims, her needs, her desires, so it must be difficult for him to think of his own needs first for once in his unlife. He knows he loves her, but he's wondering if it's worth all of the pain and the heartache. So, he wants (more) time to heal and to decide.

Perhaps the fact that Buffy does as he asks will help him to believe that she really does love him. It might seem that Buffy leaves too easily, but we can't forget that the last time that she didn't do as Spike asked, the Harrises were murdered, Xander wound up in a coma, Spike was almost shot again, and Willow almost went black again. If only Buffy would listen to Spike more often :P

Oh, and I loved when Spike said, "you want us to just *be there*." He called them and "us." :D

Knew from the title you were going this way....and I'm relieved. Spike still has too much to deal with *outside* his relationship with Buffy. People should approach a relationship, if they want it to last, as two healthy individuals, and he's not even close to being solidly on his feet again, yet.

As for her "you pulled me into my darkness" crap...it's just that, crap. We all have to be accountable for our *own* choices, and she didn't have to do a damn thing about Spike's words. He said things - so what? SHE's the one that acted on them, and she did it because she wanted it. Free will...it is a bitch. He didn't make her do one little thing.

Very emotional. Loved it.

WOW, very good, and very gut renching. I think this was one of the chapters where I really felt it. So raw, both of them, and Buffy took a huge step, not only placing all her cards on the table, but she wasn't ashamed to plead for Spike. And she finally removed her tunnelvision glasses and saw past her own feelings and took Spike's into concideration. Way to good girl.

She's now matching action to word, she loves him and she's going to give him the space he needs to heal and reflect. Will there be more reflection? And will it be on both ends? It looks as if Buffy's taking small steps towards maturity.

Can't wait for more.

and buffy grows up.
That was amazing, DoS.

This is mature. He needs time but he did need to know she was there at the end of it all, for him. She needs to do more thinking and growing too. I think lots of phone calls would help...these two need to TALK (as Spike tried to get her to do all through that bleak year! They started out okay until they started having destructive sex...time to go back to when it was good and work from there. Wise choice! Good for her for getting it too!

Love this: “I *tried* to learn, Buffy! I tried to be what you deserved -- what you wanted…” He paused, his voice softening as he continued, a bit self-consciously, “…tried to join you in the light…you just kept bloody pushing me out again. So -- I thought the only way to be with you -- the only way to -- to make you mine -- was to pull you into the dark, with me.” Exactly why he acted as HE did in S6....he didn't exactly have anyone there to help him know how to move to the light and all of them kept trying to shove him into the dark again! Excellent insight!

Love how you are dealing with the mop up here.

Kathleen

Terrific chapter. Spike definitely needs the space to recover -- though judging by the way he stuck to his guns, he's making a good start. Credit to Buffy for resisting her instincts, at last she's learning something.

Yeah!!!! Buffy finally grew up, and did what he needed. Now, wait as long as it takes to deal with that; a month or two- or not, whichever- and GO AFTER HER, SPIKE!

**wails** Gorgeously painful.

Very emotional chapter . Great work.

Good chapter. I was glad to have Spike acknowledge some of his own failings -- but also that he's aware that they were mostly reactions to the impossible situation Buffy had created for him (not letting him into the light). Cool though that he still takes responsibility for his part of the badness that was their 'relationship'.

Yup, Buffy finally gets it at the end. Hooray! My only query for you is how you account for her sudden growth. Even through most of this scene it's all about her, and then she suddenly 'gets' it. Usually, when a character grows it's as a result of "overhearing" themselves or something happening that makes them see things in a new and better light. Here it just seems to bubble up out of nowhere. Glad that it DOES, of course -- but I'd have liked to see it as a more organic development.

Wow, for once Buffy didn't do as she wanted, and did what he asked her to do. I really hope the badness isn't too bad, 'cause I love a spuffy ending.
Great chapter!

Excellent chapter. You captured Buffy and Spike perfectly in this chapter. I am glad that you had Buffy honor Spike's request. Hopefully now the true healing will begin.

Lovely, heart-wrenching chapter. It seems they've both made a wise decisions. I'm anxious to see how it unfolds.

Oh good gawd.... what is wrong with you?

You are amazing in your wonderfulness, didja know that? ;) I love how you can draw out these moments so that they're so exquisitely painful and heartfelt. I'm glad that Buffy finally figured out that it's not about *her* - that she needs to let Spike do this on his own terms.

I'm so torn about Spike. On the one hand, I can't imagine how anyone could ever still love someone after what's happened to him, but on the other hand, it's *Spike* and so I can't imagine him ever not loving Buffy, no matter what. I think she's done all the groveling she can do, and I so want a happy ending, but I wouldn't blame Spike if he said he couldn't even be with her after this.

oh boy oh boy oh boy !!!!! Where did THIS Buffy come from??? You know I always believed Spike had the depth to verbalize his feelings like you stated in the chapter but I always doubted Buffy. You made me believe she could really grow. Thank you! Great chapter!

I was very surprised that Spike asked her to go and even more so that she actually did it. That she could see what he needed was more important than what she wanted, and she needed to respect his need and desire to heal. It was a remarkably insightful and I'm sure painful decision for Spike to make. To realize that he needed to figure things out on his own without her clouding the issue.