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forty-three spaiku: crush A/N: Written for the Fall 2008 round of LiveJournal's Seasonal_Spuffy community. The theme was "Obstacles." -- Prologue: Dress Checks out the new threads, wishes for a reflection. Will she notice him? -- Not a Success I. Scoobies are dancing, Slayer all undefended . . . time to make a move. II. Reverie disturbed by uninvited presence in alien garb. III. Fashion disaster: when lovelorn manpires trip and fall into The Gap. IV. Bantam vamp’s banter, bid for friendship bewilders. What’s his angle now? -- Settle for Less Spurned, he sublimates— finds cold, cashmere comfort in Slayer-themed sex games. -- Impress the Lady’s Relations I. Bit leans in closer . . . interview with a vampire. Spike’s so freaking cool! II. Ghoul, interrupted by bossy big sister who never learned to knock. III. Sits stunned on his tomb, gallantry unacknowledged. What’s it gonna take? -- Interlude, with Stress I. Slayer equation: crypt plus vampire equals bad. Clue in, already! II. Sisterly lecture on dangerous ickiness canceled by bombshell. III. Hears the words, but . . . huh? Frowns in incomprehension. Spikesinwhatwithwho?! IV. Resolves to commence Operation Avoid Spike. Shouldn’t be too hard. V. What’s he playing at, this undead Eddie Haskell flattering her mom? -- Keep Her Guessing I. DeSoto, Ramones, a flask of bourbon and thou . . . birds go for that, right? II. Surreptitious glance gives way to naked panic. Watch the hands, buddy! III. Bloke can’t even stretch without her flippin’ her wig! Jumpy little thing. IV. Awkwardness relieved by persons of interest. Vamps eat Jiffy Pop?! -- Fess Up I. Buffy bails, then halts, arrested by chivalry. Apprehension dawns. *II. The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects. The flask! (gulp) Is this a date? IV. Something between us: loathing, disgust, heat, desire. Also? Denial. III. Entreats her to stay, discover how much he’s changed; he can be good, too. IV. Years of hurtful jibes and cleaning up his messes can’t be overcome. VI. Suspicions confirmed, she repels his admission, crushing fragile hopes. *Found haiku taken verbatim from episode. -- Regression I. Slinks cryptward to find someone wants him after all; old habits die hard. II. Useless to pretend he’ll ever be anything but death on two legs. -- Processing I. Wary daughter heeds maternal admonition against her judgment. II. Inner monologue: it is kind of flattering . . . gross, Buffy! It’s Spike! III. Reels in disbelief at creep-o shrine’s unveiling. Are those her panties?! IV. Run! Do not pass go. Sorry mom, did all I could— stops dead in her tracks. V. Paralyzing sight: worn black leather, blood-smeared mouth, nemesis returned. -- Make a Spectacular Mess I. Bloody through playing; no longer be sire’s toy or Slayer’s punching bag. II. Awakens in chains to florid declarations, mawkish theatrics. III. Melodramatic proofs of devotion lost on captive audience. IV. I’m drowning in you. If she won’t throw him a line, he’ll drag her under. V. She’ll not give a crumb: neither sliver of slack nor the barest smidgen. VI. Soliloquizes on mad bitches and torture; wackiness ensues. -- Egress I. Punches him and leaves his dignity in tatters, her shrine in shambles. II. Gallops after her, mouth running faster than legs, looking for an in. III. He said quite enough during her imprisonment. Slayer shuts him out. IV. No happy ending when the main guy’s all bumpy, hunchback or vampire. V. Unseen barrier not the only obstacle he’ll have to surmount. -- Epilogue: Undress Disrobes for the day, asks her weary reflection: what is it he sees? F I N
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