148 days


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy should have known that she would not be alone for long. Not with the way Dawn had been watching her so intently lately. She had tried to hide her growing despair but somehow her sister had known. So, it came as no surprise when she was joined in her quiet hiding place at the furthest end of the new Council’s garden after only thirty minutes. Dawn sat down beside her and gave her hand a quick squeeze before crossing her arms over her chest as she took in the garden spread out in front of them.



Thankfully, her sister seemed happy to remain in silence and she was grateful for the respite. They sat there in companionable silence for several long moments, gazes drifting over the garden in front of them, which was just starting to succumb to the British winter. This corner was particularly secluded, hidden from the house too – so it had become Buffy’s ideal sanctuary. It was only here that she could be away from the hubbub of a house full of teenage girls, the only place where she could be alone with her thoughts and emotions.



Said emotions were in turmoil right now, despite her outward façade of calm. It was this that prompted her in the next moment to speak out – not necessarily for anyone to hear, but just because she needed to say it.

“It’s been a hundred forty-eight days.”

She felt Dawn’s piercing gaze fall on her but she didn’t dare turn to face her sister, afraid that the tears collecting just below the surface would be released.

“One hundred forty-eight days since Sunnydale.”

There was another long silence between the two sisters as the mention of Sunnydale brought back vivid memories of all they had lived through in that distant town.

“Seems like a long time,” Dawn whispered, her eyes still fixed on Buffy.

Buffy managed to nod but could not continue as her throat constricted with emotion.



Several long moments later, her voice came out in a faltering, low tone.

“I was dead for one hundred forty-eight days, did you know that?”

Dawn said nothing but Buffy could feel her sister’s attentive gaze on her.

“He counted,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut tightly to stop the tears that threatened to break free at the mere thought of Spike. She took a deep breath and focused her gaze on a nearby bush, struggling to keep her voice even.

“So I counted too. One hundred forty-eight days.”

Despite all of her efforts, a tear escaped and started its descent down her cheek.

“I guess it was a different deal this time though, huh?”

The single tear had barely reached her lips before it was joined by another and before she knew it, they were cascading down her face. She didn’t know when Dawn had wrapped her arms around her, but her sister cradled her now, rocking her gently.



For one hundred and forty-eight days, she had lived in hope that the waiting would be over soon, that her lost vampire would be returned to her – all in vain. Tears she had managed to hold back for over three months overwhelmed her now as the truth became clear: she had lost him. She had let this foolish hope rule her life and had not mourned for the vampire she had loved too late – until now. It was only now, after one hundred and forty-eight days, that the enormity of her loss hit her. Spike was gone.



Meanwhile, in Los Angeles


As the form began to take shape, an unearthly cry of pain reverberated through the room. The cloud finally dissipated to reveal a familiar figure, his face twisted in pain.

“Spike?”

“Spike.”

“Blondie Bear!”