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Taken
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon. No beta, so keep your fingers crossed! Reviews are good. All hail reviewers!
Goes AU after Life Serial.
**********
Another night, another patrol. Buffy had wandered through Sunnydale’s cemeteries one by one, dusting a fledgling or two. With one cemetery to go, she was dragging. She felt so tired all the time these days. She dragged herself out of bed in the morning, dealt with the Sullen Teenager from Hell, suppressed the urge to strangle Willow for eating the last of something again, listened to the 795th lecture from Giles about how she needed to take more responsibility for her life, dealt with the Return of the Sullen Teenager from Hell after school, then, just when everyone else started settling down on the couch to relax, she got to go out and patrol. For something new and different. As she kept walking toward her final stop on this night’s Tour de Sunnydale, her mind kept running through what she thought of as The List. Those fucking basement pipes. Dawn and her attitude and her increasingly sneaky behavior. The bills. The lack of funds to pay said bills. On top of all of this, she had the inescapable longing to return to that warm, peaceful place she had been. A place of love, rest, and absolutely no vampires or busted pipes.
She sighed, and entered Restfield Cemetery. She half hoped that Spike would show up. He was annoying, he cheated at kitten poker, and he had totally allowed her to get wayyy too drunk the other night. But he was someone to talk to who didn’t expect her to act all happy and chipper, and that was something. Sometimes she thought she should just get another Bot, put it in her place, and take off to Mexico or something. Maybe then the Scoobies would shut up and leave her in peace.
“Evening, Slayer.” Buffy spun around to see Spike behind her, lighting a cigarette. She really was getting sloppy these days. She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed the approach of a vampire. Even if the vampire was Spike, she should probably be a bit concerned about that.
“What do you want Spike?” Buffy feigned exasperation. She was truly torn between wanting the company and being too damn tired to deal with anyone.
“Just out for a walk,” Spike replied. “Thought you might like a little company on patrol.” Besides, you look ready to drop, Slayer. Gonna be someone’s midnight snack if you don’t get your game on, he thought to himself. She seemed so lost and out of it these days. He marveled that her fabled friends didn’t seem to notice. Wankers.
“Thanks, but I was just about to go home for the night,” said Buffy. She made up her mind – the more she hung out with Spike the more aggravation it was going to cause, either from him or from her friends’ disapproval. Best to play the avoidance game.
“And miss my company?” said Spike, trying to prolong the interaction. “We could go for another drink…“
His teasing was interrupted by a howling blast of wind. He and Buffy spun around to see something they could not quite comprehend. It was as if a shimmering wall of glass had appeared at the edge of the cemetery. It rippled, and sparks shot out from it. As they watched, figures formed on the other side of the wall, then burst through like someone diving through water. They were demons. They were very large, and there were a lot of them. Spike flew to Buffy’s side. They assumed a fighting stance as they watched ten, then twenty demons emerge, with more behind them.
Spike did some quick mental math and looked at Buffy. “Um, Slayer…?“ This did not seem like a particularly winnable battle.
Buffy understood him and agreed, “Yeah. Time to go.” They needed a more defensible position, and preferably some weaponry.
They turned and sprinted toward Spike’s crypt. But the demons were extremely fast as well, and caught up to them, surrounding them before they could get there. They fought side by side, whirling and kicking. After a time, they got separated. Spike was surrounded by demons with skin like plate armor and fists like bricks. He fought harder than he had ever before, but he was losing. There were just too many of them. As yet another punch rocked him backward, he heard Buffy screaming, “Get your fucking paws off of me!” Frantically, he looked around for her. He saw that at least 6 of the demons had grabbed her arms and legs and were bearing her off to the wall.
“Buffy!” Spike yelled, trying to fight his way toward her. But before he could get too far, one of the demons thrust his clawed hand into Spike’s abdomen. Spike dropped to his knees, gasping, with a deep, ragged gash across his midsection. He struggled to do something, anything, as he watched the demons running back toward the wall, the Slayer kicking and screaming in their midst. Then the last of the demons crossed the barrier, and it winked out of existence with a flash. Spike weakly called the Slayer’s name, then collapsed on the ground.
For several long minutes he lay inert, clutching his wounded stomach. Another inch or two and the demon would have completely gutted him. He fought the urge to just close his eyes and rest – if he passed out, no telling if he would wake up before the sun rose and dusted him. Groaning, he slowly hauled himself to his feet. Blood seeped through his shirt, staining his hands. Painfully, he limped off toward the gates of the cemetery. Gotta let her Watcher know.
It took what felt like hours to get to the Magic Box. Spike found himself having to rest about every second block. His pale face was nearly transparent from blood loss. Need to get a fucking phone in the crypt someday. Finally, after a last herculean effort, he pulled open the door of the shop and stumbled inside.
Giles, Anya, and Xander were there. Giles and Anya had been counting receipts and cleaning up, while Xander waited to drive Anya home. At the sound of Spike bursting in, Xander started with his usual greeting, “What do you want this time, dead boy…“ Then Spike collapsed face first onto the floor in a heap, and the three of them ran over to him.
Giles turned the vampire over and gasped at the blood pouring from his wound. “Anya, get some towels or something. Xander, help me get him onto the couch in the training room.” Anya ran to find something to staunch the blood while Xander grudgingly grabbed the vampire’s feet. Giles took the other end and they hauled Spike into the training room. Anya returned, and Giles used the towels to try to slow down the blood loss. “Spike, can you hear me? What happened?” he asked the semiconscious vampire.
Spike opened his eyes with an effort. “Demons… twenty or thirty of them,” he gasped out. “They took Buffy. Too many of them…“ Spike passed out completely at that point.
“Dear lord,” said Giles. Buffy was clearly in some serious danger. “Xander. We need to get some blood for Spike. He’s the only one who knows what happened to her, and he’s hurt very badly.”
Xander grumbled, but grabbed his jacket and went out to hit the butcher’s shop. Anya had brought a first aid kit, and Giles started cleaning and bandaging Spike’s wound. Giles had no great love for the vampire, yet he still winced at the sight of the gaping hole in Spike’s midsection. He shuddered at the thought of what Buffy could be going through. Spike was an incredible fighter. If these things, whatever they were, could take Spike down this hard, Buffy was in trouble.
By the time Xander returned, still grumbling, Spike was bandaged and no longer dripping blood on the floor. Giles shook the vampire lightly. “Spike! Wake up! You need to drink this.” Spike roused enough to sip some of the blood Giles held to his lips. Then he closed his eyes and lay back down, exhausted.
“Spike, what can you tell us about the demons?” Giles asked urgently.
Spike opened his eyes halfway. “Big bastards,” he began. “Tall, nearly seven feet. Really tough skin – felt like metal. Claws were razor sharp. Lots of teeth. Gray skin.” Spike closed his eyes once more.
“Where did they take her?” Xander asked, but Spike was unconscious again. They looked at each other. Giles took charge, as usual. “Xander, call Willow and tell her what’s going on. Anya, we need to try to narrow down what these things are.”
Anya sighed. “Why can’t these things happen during normal business hours?” But she went to the bookshelves and started to pull out demonology texts.
********
Hours later, they had narrowed down the list of possible demons to about three dozen, which helped almost not at all. Dawn was asleep on the mat in the training room, having elected to watch over Spike until he woke up. Giles came in to check on her and the vampire. Dawn was curled up, still asleep. Spike looked even more dead than usual. Giles roused him enough to get a little more blood into him, but the vampire lapsed back into unconsciousness again almost immediately.
Giles fought the urge to kick something in frustration. How could Buffy have been captured? He knew she had been a bit lax in her training lately, but she was still incredibly fit and strong. What could have happened? He tried to ignore the little nagging voice inside his head that admonished him for pushing her too hard. He was no longer her Watcher, technically. She needed to stop being so dependent on him. But he couldn’t help wonder if she was more damaged by her death and rebirth than he realized.
Giles returned to the main room. Tara had fallen asleep with her head in a book, and Xander was dozing with his head propped up on his hand. Giles frowned a bit at Willow using magic to enhance the internet again. He really needed to speak to her about that sometime. Anya tossed her book down in frustration. “For all we know she could be in any one of 10,000 demon dimensions by now. I’m tired, and I want to go to bed,” she said in her usual blunt way. “Xander! Take me home!” She shook Xander until his head fell off his hand and bounced off the table.
“What? Huh?” he mumbled. He shook his head to clear it. “Did we find something?”
Giles took off his glasses and pinched his nose. “Xander, take Anya home. She’s tired, and neither of you are helping right now. Come back after you’ve gotten a few hours of sleep.”
Tara had woken up at this point as well. “We can stay, Giles,” she offered, rubbing her eyes.
“No, you two take Dawn and go home as well. I’ll stay here and watch over Spike. I’ll call you all when he wakes up. Until he can give us more information, we’re just grasping at straws.”
Tara went in and woke Dawn. The teen protested, but finally gave in. With another concerned look at Spike, she followed Tara and Willow out to the car.
Giles locked the door behind them. He piled up several mats in the training room and threw himself on them, exhausted. But sleep wouldn’t come. What had happened? How much trouble was his slayer in this time? He stared at the ceiling for a long time until sleep finally overtook him.
******
Spike woke up at 10:00 the next morning, sore, and weak, and initially wondering where the hell he was. Groaning, he tried to sit up, but only got about half way. His groan woke Giles, who rolled blearily off the training mats and stumbled over to the vampire.
“Rupert?” asked Spike. “What’s going on?”
“You’ve been unconscious for about 15 hours. Let me get you some blood. We need to hear more about what happened.” Giles quickly hustled out of the room.
Fifteen hours?? Spike thought. His demon was howling with hunger inside him, but even that was overshadowed by worry. They needed to find her. The longer they left her with those… things, the worse off she was going to be.
Giles returned with a large thermos full of blood. Spike drank the entire contents in one long go, not spilling a drop. “Have you got any more?” he asked. He hadn’t been this totally drained in a long, long time.
Giles sighed and left again, returning in a few minutes with another full thermos. Spike guzzled that down too, finally taking the edge off the raging hunger. He was moving slowly, like an old man. It was going to be a few days before his insides repaired themselves.
“Now, what more can you tell us?” Giles asked impatiently. “Did you see which way they took her?”
“They disappeared into some sort of… wall or something,” said Spike. “My best guess is that it was some sort of interdimensional portal or something.” He winced as he sat up straighter, trying to find a comfortable position.
The shop door rang at that point. Tara, Willow, and Dawn appeared at the door to the training room. “Spike!” cried Dawn, crossing the room. “Are you ok?”
“I’ve been better, Nibblet,” he responded. “Those things took quite a chunk out of me.”
“What were they?” Willow asked. “We tried to narrow it down based on what you told us, but we didn’t get very far.”
Spike stood up slowly. He swayed for a moment, then carefully moved toward the other room. “Show me what you’ve got,” he said.
Tara led him to the table full of open demonology books. Spike eased himself into a chair, wincing. He started going through the texts as Xander and Anya arrived. “Did we figure out what those things were yet?” asked Xander.
“Working on it,” muttered Spike. He focused on the pictures in the various books. Too short. Wrong claws. Too wide. Not ugly enough. The others paced around impatiently. It was driving Spike mad, but he tried to rein in his urge to scream at them. They were as worried as he was.
Finally, he found them. “There,” he declared, turning the book so the others could see it. “Y’gosoth demons. These are the guys.”
Giles snatched up the book and started reading. His eyes grew wide and concerned as he read. After a long few minutes, he put the book down and faced the group. “We need to act quickly, or Buffy may not survive.”
TBC
Goes AU after Life Serial.
**********
Another night, another patrol. Buffy had wandered through Sunnydale’s cemeteries one by one, dusting a fledgling or two. With one cemetery to go, she was dragging. She felt so tired all the time these days. She dragged herself out of bed in the morning, dealt with the Sullen Teenager from Hell, suppressed the urge to strangle Willow for eating the last of something again, listened to the 795th lecture from Giles about how she needed to take more responsibility for her life, dealt with the Return of the Sullen Teenager from Hell after school, then, just when everyone else started settling down on the couch to relax, she got to go out and patrol. For something new and different. As she kept walking toward her final stop on this night’s Tour de Sunnydale, her mind kept running through what she thought of as The List. Those fucking basement pipes. Dawn and her attitude and her increasingly sneaky behavior. The bills. The lack of funds to pay said bills. On top of all of this, she had the inescapable longing to return to that warm, peaceful place she had been. A place of love, rest, and absolutely no vampires or busted pipes.
She sighed, and entered Restfield Cemetery. She half hoped that Spike would show up. He was annoying, he cheated at kitten poker, and he had totally allowed her to get wayyy too drunk the other night. But he was someone to talk to who didn’t expect her to act all happy and chipper, and that was something. Sometimes she thought she should just get another Bot, put it in her place, and take off to Mexico or something. Maybe then the Scoobies would shut up and leave her in peace.
“Evening, Slayer.” Buffy spun around to see Spike behind her, lighting a cigarette. She really was getting sloppy these days. She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed the approach of a vampire. Even if the vampire was Spike, she should probably be a bit concerned about that.
“What do you want Spike?” Buffy feigned exasperation. She was truly torn between wanting the company and being too damn tired to deal with anyone.
“Just out for a walk,” Spike replied. “Thought you might like a little company on patrol.” Besides, you look ready to drop, Slayer. Gonna be someone’s midnight snack if you don’t get your game on, he thought to himself. She seemed so lost and out of it these days. He marveled that her fabled friends didn’t seem to notice. Wankers.
“Thanks, but I was just about to go home for the night,” said Buffy. She made up her mind – the more she hung out with Spike the more aggravation it was going to cause, either from him or from her friends’ disapproval. Best to play the avoidance game.
“And miss my company?” said Spike, trying to prolong the interaction. “We could go for another drink…“
His teasing was interrupted by a howling blast of wind. He and Buffy spun around to see something they could not quite comprehend. It was as if a shimmering wall of glass had appeared at the edge of the cemetery. It rippled, and sparks shot out from it. As they watched, figures formed on the other side of the wall, then burst through like someone diving through water. They were demons. They were very large, and there were a lot of them. Spike flew to Buffy’s side. They assumed a fighting stance as they watched ten, then twenty demons emerge, with more behind them.
Spike did some quick mental math and looked at Buffy. “Um, Slayer…?“ This did not seem like a particularly winnable battle.
Buffy understood him and agreed, “Yeah. Time to go.” They needed a more defensible position, and preferably some weaponry.
They turned and sprinted toward Spike’s crypt. But the demons were extremely fast as well, and caught up to them, surrounding them before they could get there. They fought side by side, whirling and kicking. After a time, they got separated. Spike was surrounded by demons with skin like plate armor and fists like bricks. He fought harder than he had ever before, but he was losing. There were just too many of them. As yet another punch rocked him backward, he heard Buffy screaming, “Get your fucking paws off of me!” Frantically, he looked around for her. He saw that at least 6 of the demons had grabbed her arms and legs and were bearing her off to the wall.
“Buffy!” Spike yelled, trying to fight his way toward her. But before he could get too far, one of the demons thrust his clawed hand into Spike’s abdomen. Spike dropped to his knees, gasping, with a deep, ragged gash across his midsection. He struggled to do something, anything, as he watched the demons running back toward the wall, the Slayer kicking and screaming in their midst. Then the last of the demons crossed the barrier, and it winked out of existence with a flash. Spike weakly called the Slayer’s name, then collapsed on the ground.
For several long minutes he lay inert, clutching his wounded stomach. Another inch or two and the demon would have completely gutted him. He fought the urge to just close his eyes and rest – if he passed out, no telling if he would wake up before the sun rose and dusted him. Groaning, he slowly hauled himself to his feet. Blood seeped through his shirt, staining his hands. Painfully, he limped off toward the gates of the cemetery. Gotta let her Watcher know.
It took what felt like hours to get to the Magic Box. Spike found himself having to rest about every second block. His pale face was nearly transparent from blood loss. Need to get a fucking phone in the crypt someday. Finally, after a last herculean effort, he pulled open the door of the shop and stumbled inside.
Giles, Anya, and Xander were there. Giles and Anya had been counting receipts and cleaning up, while Xander waited to drive Anya home. At the sound of Spike bursting in, Xander started with his usual greeting, “What do you want this time, dead boy…“ Then Spike collapsed face first onto the floor in a heap, and the three of them ran over to him.
Giles turned the vampire over and gasped at the blood pouring from his wound. “Anya, get some towels or something. Xander, help me get him onto the couch in the training room.” Anya ran to find something to staunch the blood while Xander grudgingly grabbed the vampire’s feet. Giles took the other end and they hauled Spike into the training room. Anya returned, and Giles used the towels to try to slow down the blood loss. “Spike, can you hear me? What happened?” he asked the semiconscious vampire.
Spike opened his eyes with an effort. “Demons… twenty or thirty of them,” he gasped out. “They took Buffy. Too many of them…“ Spike passed out completely at that point.
“Dear lord,” said Giles. Buffy was clearly in some serious danger. “Xander. We need to get some blood for Spike. He’s the only one who knows what happened to her, and he’s hurt very badly.”
Xander grumbled, but grabbed his jacket and went out to hit the butcher’s shop. Anya had brought a first aid kit, and Giles started cleaning and bandaging Spike’s wound. Giles had no great love for the vampire, yet he still winced at the sight of the gaping hole in Spike’s midsection. He shuddered at the thought of what Buffy could be going through. Spike was an incredible fighter. If these things, whatever they were, could take Spike down this hard, Buffy was in trouble.
By the time Xander returned, still grumbling, Spike was bandaged and no longer dripping blood on the floor. Giles shook the vampire lightly. “Spike! Wake up! You need to drink this.” Spike roused enough to sip some of the blood Giles held to his lips. Then he closed his eyes and lay back down, exhausted.
“Spike, what can you tell us about the demons?” Giles asked urgently.
Spike opened his eyes halfway. “Big bastards,” he began. “Tall, nearly seven feet. Really tough skin – felt like metal. Claws were razor sharp. Lots of teeth. Gray skin.” Spike closed his eyes once more.
“Where did they take her?” Xander asked, but Spike was unconscious again. They looked at each other. Giles took charge, as usual. “Xander, call Willow and tell her what’s going on. Anya, we need to try to narrow down what these things are.”
Anya sighed. “Why can’t these things happen during normal business hours?” But she went to the bookshelves and started to pull out demonology texts.
********
Hours later, they had narrowed down the list of possible demons to about three dozen, which helped almost not at all. Dawn was asleep on the mat in the training room, having elected to watch over Spike until he woke up. Giles came in to check on her and the vampire. Dawn was curled up, still asleep. Spike looked even more dead than usual. Giles roused him enough to get a little more blood into him, but the vampire lapsed back into unconsciousness again almost immediately.
Giles fought the urge to kick something in frustration. How could Buffy have been captured? He knew she had been a bit lax in her training lately, but she was still incredibly fit and strong. What could have happened? He tried to ignore the little nagging voice inside his head that admonished him for pushing her too hard. He was no longer her Watcher, technically. She needed to stop being so dependent on him. But he couldn’t help wonder if she was more damaged by her death and rebirth than he realized.
Giles returned to the main room. Tara had fallen asleep with her head in a book, and Xander was dozing with his head propped up on his hand. Giles frowned a bit at Willow using magic to enhance the internet again. He really needed to speak to her about that sometime. Anya tossed her book down in frustration. “For all we know she could be in any one of 10,000 demon dimensions by now. I’m tired, and I want to go to bed,” she said in her usual blunt way. “Xander! Take me home!” She shook Xander until his head fell off his hand and bounced off the table.
“What? Huh?” he mumbled. He shook his head to clear it. “Did we find something?”
Giles took off his glasses and pinched his nose. “Xander, take Anya home. She’s tired, and neither of you are helping right now. Come back after you’ve gotten a few hours of sleep.”
Tara had woken up at this point as well. “We can stay, Giles,” she offered, rubbing her eyes.
“No, you two take Dawn and go home as well. I’ll stay here and watch over Spike. I’ll call you all when he wakes up. Until he can give us more information, we’re just grasping at straws.”
Tara went in and woke Dawn. The teen protested, but finally gave in. With another concerned look at Spike, she followed Tara and Willow out to the car.
Giles locked the door behind them. He piled up several mats in the training room and threw himself on them, exhausted. But sleep wouldn’t come. What had happened? How much trouble was his slayer in this time? He stared at the ceiling for a long time until sleep finally overtook him.
******
Spike woke up at 10:00 the next morning, sore, and weak, and initially wondering where the hell he was. Groaning, he tried to sit up, but only got about half way. His groan woke Giles, who rolled blearily off the training mats and stumbled over to the vampire.
“Rupert?” asked Spike. “What’s going on?”
“You’ve been unconscious for about 15 hours. Let me get you some blood. We need to hear more about what happened.” Giles quickly hustled out of the room.
Fifteen hours?? Spike thought. His demon was howling with hunger inside him, but even that was overshadowed by worry. They needed to find her. The longer they left her with those… things, the worse off she was going to be.
Giles returned with a large thermos full of blood. Spike drank the entire contents in one long go, not spilling a drop. “Have you got any more?” he asked. He hadn’t been this totally drained in a long, long time.
Giles sighed and left again, returning in a few minutes with another full thermos. Spike guzzled that down too, finally taking the edge off the raging hunger. He was moving slowly, like an old man. It was going to be a few days before his insides repaired themselves.
“Now, what more can you tell us?” Giles asked impatiently. “Did you see which way they took her?”
“They disappeared into some sort of… wall or something,” said Spike. “My best guess is that it was some sort of interdimensional portal or something.” He winced as he sat up straighter, trying to find a comfortable position.
The shop door rang at that point. Tara, Willow, and Dawn appeared at the door to the training room. “Spike!” cried Dawn, crossing the room. “Are you ok?”
“I’ve been better, Nibblet,” he responded. “Those things took quite a chunk out of me.”
“What were they?” Willow asked. “We tried to narrow it down based on what you told us, but we didn’t get very far.”
Spike stood up slowly. He swayed for a moment, then carefully moved toward the other room. “Show me what you’ve got,” he said.
Tara led him to the table full of open demonology books. Spike eased himself into a chair, wincing. He started going through the texts as Xander and Anya arrived. “Did we figure out what those things were yet?” asked Xander.
“Working on it,” muttered Spike. He focused on the pictures in the various books. Too short. Wrong claws. Too wide. Not ugly enough. The others paced around impatiently. It was driving Spike mad, but he tried to rein in his urge to scream at them. They were as worried as he was.
Finally, he found them. “There,” he declared, turning the book so the others could see it. “Y’gosoth demons. These are the guys.”
Giles snatched up the book and started reading. His eyes grew wide and concerned as he read. After a long few minutes, he put the book down and faced the group. “We need to act quickly, or Buffy may not survive.”
TBC
Through the Doorway
Disclaimer: All the vampires are belong to Joss.
Thanks so much for the reviews so far!
******************************
The former Watcher’s statement struck them dumb for a moment. “Giles, what do you mean?” Dawn pleaded. Giles looked at her for a moment, unsure if the teen should hear this. But if she was kept out of the loop she would probably get resentful and do something foolish. Better to break the news to her now.
He took a deep breath. “Y’gosoth demons are all male. They use other species as hosts to bear their young. Human hosts are especially prized and are reserved for the ruling elite.”
Spike spoke up, “I guess we can assume that a Slayer would be the ultimate prize then?”
Giles nodded. “There’s more.” Giles closed his eyes for a moment, then added, “The host is sacrificed after birth to feed the newborn.”
The others were stunned. “We’ve got to find her right away!” cried Dawn. The teen rapidly became hysterical. “I can’t go through that again! I can’t, I can’t!” Tara jumped up and put her arms around Dawn, patting her back and trying to calm her.
“We’ll find her, Nibblet,” Spike said quietly. “I promise you.” Dawn looked up and caught Spike’s eyes. She was somewhat reassured by the determination she saw. Spike kept his promises.
Giles had continued reading about the Y’gosoth demons. “They have a long, elaborate mating ritual – lasts about a week before they actually mate. The gestation period depends on the host. That’s why humans are so valued as hosts – the demons believe that the longer the host carries the spawn, the more powerful the spawn will be.”
“That’s great, Giles, but how do we interrupt this demon mating party?” asked Xander impatiently.
“We’re going to have to find some way to get to her. We need to find their dimension, and figure out how to get there,” said Giles. “Willow, we’re probably going to need some sort of spell to open an interdimensional portal.”
“I’ll start looking into it,” Willow replied. She immediately went to the bookshelves and started scanning titles.
“Who’s going after her?” asked Anya. “Because I’m not too keen about visiting the Y’gosoth dimension. I heard of these guys, back in my Demon days, and they were always bad news.”
“I’m going after her.” Spike spoke quietly, but with finality in his voice.
“Who left you in charge, fangboy?” Xander snapped.
Spike stood up, teetered a little bit, but then straightened and looked Xander in the eye. “What are you going to do, whelp? Waltz in there with your mouth flapping and get yourself killed in five minutes? If we all go charging in there together, we’re all just going to die together. This calls for stealth. I’m the only one who has half a chance of getting in there, finding the Slayer, and getting us out without getting caught.”
“He’s right, Xander,” Tara spoke up. She so rarely got involved when the Scoobies started bickering that everyone immediately turned to look at her. “None of us are close to strong enough to fight these things. Spike has the enhanced hearing and speed to get in there quick and get Buffy out.”
“Well what about Willlow?” Xander persisted. “She’s got enough magic power to just blast them to kingdom come.” Willow looked slightly smug as she heard Xander’s pronouncement.
Really must have a talk with her sometime, thought Giles. An arrogant witch is never a good thing. “Willow needs to use her powers to open a door between our dimension and theirs,” Giles said aloud, trying to stay patient. “I have to agree with Tara and Spike, Xander. This is not your battle.”
“Whatever,” muttered Xander. He stalked off into the back room to cool his temper, followed by Anya.
“I’m going to need some more blood,” said Spike. “I need to get healed up as fast as possible. We need to get to her.”
“Dawn and I will go get the blood,” said Tara, grabbing her coat. “Willow and Giles, you can start working on the spell.”
“I think I’m going to catch a bit more kip,” said Spike. He made his way back to the training room, moving slowly and carefully, trying not to reopen his wounds. Willow and Giles sat down and started flipping through books once more.
*******
By the second morning since Buffy’s disappearance, Spike was feeling much better. Although his midsection was still tender, it was healed on the outside. He had joined in the research, surprising Giles with his knowledge of Latin and Greek. When questioned about it, Spike shrugged and replied, “Been to university in my day.” Giles made a mental note to figure out where someday. The thought of Spike as a college student was highly interesting.
Xander had resigned himself to the plan as it was and was doing his best to help with the research. Dawn was off at school, after Spike had reminded her that bringing Social Services down on their heads was not going to help Buffy at all. But as the day wore on, and they were still not much closer to a solution, Spike started to get agitated. His mind could not stop thinking about what Buffy must be going through. Granted, she was the Slayer. She could definitely hold her own in a fight. Still, these demons were beyond tough, and she was sorely outnumbered. Hang on Slayer, Spike thought grimly.
The days kept mounting up. By the end of the fifth day of work everyone’s nerves were frayed. Spike was pacing restlessly, and bickering with Xander constantly, to the point where Willow threatened to put silence spells on both of them. Dawn was beside herself with worry, barely eating, and clinging to Tara and Spike in turn. All of them were on edge, and ready to snap.
Finally, Willow gasped excitedly, “I found it!” The others gathered around. “Their dimension! There is a way to open a portal there. It involves a ritual, and a spell, but it should be doable.”
“Hang on a minute,” Spike interrupted. “If we open a portal and leave it hanging open there, someone is bound to see and check it out. How are we going to keep the demons over there, and not traveling back to attack us through our own portal?”
“Hmm,” Willow pondered. “What if we just opened it long enough for you to get through?”
“Then how do we get back?” Spike did not relish the idea of the witch being in control of when the door opened.
“We could teach you the spell,” mused Willow. “But you need something to focus the energy… an amulet of some kind perhaps?”
“Work on it, Willow,” said Giles. “You seem to be on the right track. Come up with a way to get Spike there, and a way that he can get back on demand. That should keep us safe, and allow Spike to sneak in without a big portal hanging there giving him away.”
Willow took another 3 days to get everything right. There were herbs and rare talismans to acquire, and chants in ancient demonic tongues to learn. Finally, she was ready. They cleared out the training room floor and used the herbs to cast a circle. Tara busied herself with placing talismans in the correct locations and going over the words of the spell.
Spike was ready too. He wore his usual outfit of black jeans and t-shirt, blue overshirt, and black duster. He decided to bring a battleaxe – one of his favorite weapons, and one that would even the score somewhat against these demons. He was back to full strength, and more than ready to go. The last few days of waiting had had him crawling out of his skin with impatience. They were taking too long.
Tara came up to Spike with a metal disk, engraved with runes, which she tied tightly to Spike’s wrist with a leather thong. “This is what will bring you back,” she explained. She handed Spike a sheet with a chant written on it. “When you are ready to return, speak this chant, and the portal will open, provided you are wearing the amulet, of course.”
“So this is my interdimensional bus token then?” Spike said doubtfully. He always had a slight distrust of magic, particularly where Red was concerned. He read through the chant, then carefully folded it and put it in the pocket of his jeans. He tested the amulet’s fit on his wrist, picked up his axe, rolled his shoulders, and faced Willow. “Ready when you are, Red.”
“Ok,” said Willow. “Stand in the middle of the circle.” Spike stepped carefully into the ring of herbs. He bounced a bit on his feet, ready to spring. Willow and Tara started walking around the circle, chanting in some unknown tongue. The air began to feel charged with energy. Spike looked out through the crackling air and caught Dawn’s eye. “I’ll find her, Bit,” he promised.
Then with a roar and a flash, the portal appeared, like a silver doorway. Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath, and stepped through.
TBC
Thanks so much for the reviews so far!
******************************
The former Watcher’s statement struck them dumb for a moment. “Giles, what do you mean?” Dawn pleaded. Giles looked at her for a moment, unsure if the teen should hear this. But if she was kept out of the loop she would probably get resentful and do something foolish. Better to break the news to her now.
He took a deep breath. “Y’gosoth demons are all male. They use other species as hosts to bear their young. Human hosts are especially prized and are reserved for the ruling elite.”
Spike spoke up, “I guess we can assume that a Slayer would be the ultimate prize then?”
Giles nodded. “There’s more.” Giles closed his eyes for a moment, then added, “The host is sacrificed after birth to feed the newborn.”
The others were stunned. “We’ve got to find her right away!” cried Dawn. The teen rapidly became hysterical. “I can’t go through that again! I can’t, I can’t!” Tara jumped up and put her arms around Dawn, patting her back and trying to calm her.
“We’ll find her, Nibblet,” Spike said quietly. “I promise you.” Dawn looked up and caught Spike’s eyes. She was somewhat reassured by the determination she saw. Spike kept his promises.
Giles had continued reading about the Y’gosoth demons. “They have a long, elaborate mating ritual – lasts about a week before they actually mate. The gestation period depends on the host. That’s why humans are so valued as hosts – the demons believe that the longer the host carries the spawn, the more powerful the spawn will be.”
“That’s great, Giles, but how do we interrupt this demon mating party?” asked Xander impatiently.
“We’re going to have to find some way to get to her. We need to find their dimension, and figure out how to get there,” said Giles. “Willow, we’re probably going to need some sort of spell to open an interdimensional portal.”
“I’ll start looking into it,” Willow replied. She immediately went to the bookshelves and started scanning titles.
“Who’s going after her?” asked Anya. “Because I’m not too keen about visiting the Y’gosoth dimension. I heard of these guys, back in my Demon days, and they were always bad news.”
“I’m going after her.” Spike spoke quietly, but with finality in his voice.
“Who left you in charge, fangboy?” Xander snapped.
Spike stood up, teetered a little bit, but then straightened and looked Xander in the eye. “What are you going to do, whelp? Waltz in there with your mouth flapping and get yourself killed in five minutes? If we all go charging in there together, we’re all just going to die together. This calls for stealth. I’m the only one who has half a chance of getting in there, finding the Slayer, and getting us out without getting caught.”
“He’s right, Xander,” Tara spoke up. She so rarely got involved when the Scoobies started bickering that everyone immediately turned to look at her. “None of us are close to strong enough to fight these things. Spike has the enhanced hearing and speed to get in there quick and get Buffy out.”
“Well what about Willlow?” Xander persisted. “She’s got enough magic power to just blast them to kingdom come.” Willow looked slightly smug as she heard Xander’s pronouncement.
Really must have a talk with her sometime, thought Giles. An arrogant witch is never a good thing. “Willow needs to use her powers to open a door between our dimension and theirs,” Giles said aloud, trying to stay patient. “I have to agree with Tara and Spike, Xander. This is not your battle.”
“Whatever,” muttered Xander. He stalked off into the back room to cool his temper, followed by Anya.
“I’m going to need some more blood,” said Spike. “I need to get healed up as fast as possible. We need to get to her.”
“Dawn and I will go get the blood,” said Tara, grabbing her coat. “Willow and Giles, you can start working on the spell.”
“I think I’m going to catch a bit more kip,” said Spike. He made his way back to the training room, moving slowly and carefully, trying not to reopen his wounds. Willow and Giles sat down and started flipping through books once more.
*******
By the second morning since Buffy’s disappearance, Spike was feeling much better. Although his midsection was still tender, it was healed on the outside. He had joined in the research, surprising Giles with his knowledge of Latin and Greek. When questioned about it, Spike shrugged and replied, “Been to university in my day.” Giles made a mental note to figure out where someday. The thought of Spike as a college student was highly interesting.
Xander had resigned himself to the plan as it was and was doing his best to help with the research. Dawn was off at school, after Spike had reminded her that bringing Social Services down on their heads was not going to help Buffy at all. But as the day wore on, and they were still not much closer to a solution, Spike started to get agitated. His mind could not stop thinking about what Buffy must be going through. Granted, she was the Slayer. She could definitely hold her own in a fight. Still, these demons were beyond tough, and she was sorely outnumbered. Hang on Slayer, Spike thought grimly.
The days kept mounting up. By the end of the fifth day of work everyone’s nerves were frayed. Spike was pacing restlessly, and bickering with Xander constantly, to the point where Willow threatened to put silence spells on both of them. Dawn was beside herself with worry, barely eating, and clinging to Tara and Spike in turn. All of them were on edge, and ready to snap.
Finally, Willow gasped excitedly, “I found it!” The others gathered around. “Their dimension! There is a way to open a portal there. It involves a ritual, and a spell, but it should be doable.”
“Hang on a minute,” Spike interrupted. “If we open a portal and leave it hanging open there, someone is bound to see and check it out. How are we going to keep the demons over there, and not traveling back to attack us through our own portal?”
“Hmm,” Willow pondered. “What if we just opened it long enough for you to get through?”
“Then how do we get back?” Spike did not relish the idea of the witch being in control of when the door opened.
“We could teach you the spell,” mused Willow. “But you need something to focus the energy… an amulet of some kind perhaps?”
“Work on it, Willow,” said Giles. “You seem to be on the right track. Come up with a way to get Spike there, and a way that he can get back on demand. That should keep us safe, and allow Spike to sneak in without a big portal hanging there giving him away.”
Willow took another 3 days to get everything right. There were herbs and rare talismans to acquire, and chants in ancient demonic tongues to learn. Finally, she was ready. They cleared out the training room floor and used the herbs to cast a circle. Tara busied herself with placing talismans in the correct locations and going over the words of the spell.
Spike was ready too. He wore his usual outfit of black jeans and t-shirt, blue overshirt, and black duster. He decided to bring a battleaxe – one of his favorite weapons, and one that would even the score somewhat against these demons. He was back to full strength, and more than ready to go. The last few days of waiting had had him crawling out of his skin with impatience. They were taking too long.
Tara came up to Spike with a metal disk, engraved with runes, which she tied tightly to Spike’s wrist with a leather thong. “This is what will bring you back,” she explained. She handed Spike a sheet with a chant written on it. “When you are ready to return, speak this chant, and the portal will open, provided you are wearing the amulet, of course.”
“So this is my interdimensional bus token then?” Spike said doubtfully. He always had a slight distrust of magic, particularly where Red was concerned. He read through the chant, then carefully folded it and put it in the pocket of his jeans. He tested the amulet’s fit on his wrist, picked up his axe, rolled his shoulders, and faced Willow. “Ready when you are, Red.”
“Ok,” said Willow. “Stand in the middle of the circle.” Spike stepped carefully into the ring of herbs. He bounced a bit on his feet, ready to spring. Willow and Tara started walking around the circle, chanting in some unknown tongue. The air began to feel charged with energy. Spike looked out through the crackling air and caught Dawn’s eye. “I’ll find her, Bit,” he promised.
Then with a roar and a flash, the portal appeared, like a silver doorway. Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath, and stepped through.
TBC
Found and Lost
Disclaimer: All of the characters are Joss Whedon’s.
Keep the reviews coming! I’m ever so grateful for the feedback! I will reward reviews with frequent updates…
**************
After a strange pulling sensation, Spike landed in the middle of an outcropping of rocks. Fuck! Sunlight! His demon screamed to run, but after a second he realized he was not actually on fire. Well, that’s a welcome twist, he thought. Apparently the sun in this dimension had no effect on him. Certainly made things easier. Damn lucky too, since none of them had thought about that problem before they said the spell. Typical Willow - never did think through the consequences completely. Spike wondered what other unexpected surprises he was in for.
He looked around. The outcropping of rocks was part of a ravine, funneling down toward some sort of massive structure. He crept from rock to rock, keeping a wary eye on his surroundings. At the mouth of the ravine, he paused behind another rock to survey the landscape. A dusty flat area led up to a massive fortress, which looked like it had been hewn out of a mountainside. There were demon guards all over the place.
Spike sat back out of sight and thought for a bit. Back door, maybe? Or wait until dark? He did not fancy facing these guys in force. One or two he could handle, but this rescue would go nowhere fast if he got himself gutted again. He made up his mind – he had to wait until dark. The flat area in front of the main door had no cover. If he tried to creep around the back in the daytime he had a very good chance of being seen. Grumbling with frustration, he sat down to wait.
After what seemed an eternity the sun finally went down. Spike rose, hefted his axe, and crept slowly around the edge of the open area. There were a few guards still on duty, but they were hanging out around the door, and not patrolling much. He could see their point – who in their right mind would attack this place? He crept around until he reached the craggy walls of the fortress. Following the walls as quickly as he could, he came to a small entrance. It appeared to be some sort of sewer outflow or something. Spike had to bend nearly double to enter it, but it seemed the best way to get in unnoticed.
He followed the tunnel for a long way before he saw a grate above his head. He listened carefully, but heard nothing. Deciding to risk it, he edged the grate up a bit. The coast was clear. He pushed the grate to the side, wincing a bit as it grated on the stone floor. Passing his axe through the opening, he pulled himself out. Boots will never be the same, he sighed inwardly. He seemed to be in some sort of storeroom or something. Locating the door, he cautiously stuck his head out. He vamped out to enhance his senses and slowly left the room, taking off silently down the corridor.
He snuck through the tunnels for a very long time. He eventually found himself nearing the more populated areas of the building. He stepped quickly behind a corner as he heard several demons approaching. Fortunately, these guys weighed so much they shook the ground when they walked, so hearing them coming was not a big issue. Spike continued on, getting closer to what seemed to be the central portion of the fortress. Then, passing a set of stairs leading down, he stopped and sniffed the air. Slayer. His vampire senses could pick up the faint scent of the woman he sought. He looked around for demons, then quickly slipped down the stairs.
Spike followed the faint scent through the halls of the fortress. The tunnels and corridors were much closer to a series of interconnected caves than a building. This had the advantage of leaving many corners and nooks that a thin, black clad figure could hide in to wait for demons to pass. He silently and invisibly made his way through the twisted maze until he reached another corridor with many small rooms opening off of it. The scent was stronger here. He was mildly puzzled to see that none of the doors had any guards on them. You would think that with the Slayer here, they would post extra demons to guard against escape. He let that thought go for the time being and concentrated on finding Buffy.
He stalked down the corridor to the last door on the left. He paused, listening, but heard nothing but a human heartbeat. He looked through the small opening in the door and was relieved to see the head of the Slayer. “Buffy!” he called softly. No response. “Buffy!” he repeated a little louder. Bint must be asleep, he mused.
The lock on the door was massive, but Spike hadn’t lived for 120 years without picking up some useful skills, including lock picking. Silently, he opened the door, grateful that it didn’t groan on its hinges. He stepped in and closed it most of the way behind him. Then he turned and began saying, “Slayer! It’s me. We have to… “ He stopped and stared in shock at the sight before him.
Buffy was naked. Although he had spent much of the past year or so fantasizing about this very thing, in this case lust was the furthest thing from his mind. She was filthy, and covered in welts and bruises. Some looked weeks old, while some were relatively fresh. She was curled in a ball, her hair hanging lank and tangled over her face. One leg looked distorted, as if it had been broken and set badly, if at all.
Swallowing his distress, he crouched down and touched her shoulder gently. “Buffy?” he said quietly. He tugged gently to get her to look at him. She cringed away, like a frightened animal, and stared at him with blank, uncomprehending eyes. That was when Spike noticed the final horror. She was pregnant. Not just pregnant, but grossly, hugely so. Spike realized now that he could hear the second heartbeat – and it was clearly not human. Even though they had suspected this might happen, it was a tremendous shock.
Spike had expected that Buffy might be in rough shape, but he never could have imagined this abused, catatonic figure before him. He had perhaps in the deepest corners of his mind imagined that she would welcome him as her liberator, perhaps leading to a deeper relationship between them. But he never planned for this unresponsive, frightened creature. How was he going to get her out of here? He had assumed, poorly as it turned out, that she would at least be able to walk, that they would somehow sneak out together and find somewhere quiet to say the spell and open the portal. Could he do it here?
Just then his enhanced hearing picked up the sound of an approaching demon. Shit, he thought. He shut the door quietly and quickly stepped behind it. In less than a minute he heard the rattle of the lock. He watched as the door opened and a guard came in. “Eat,” the guard grunted in barely understandable English. He put a bowl of something gray next to Buffy. At first she didn’t respond, causing the demon to backhand her across the face. “Eat!” he commanded again, and this time she obeyed, mechanically, eating with her hands like an animal. As the guard turned to leave, Spike sprung at him with his axe, taking his head clean off before the guard could make a sound. The demon tottered for a moment then fell with a crashing thud.
Spike listened. Good. For now, it appeared the guard was alone. But clearly, they needed to get the hell out of here, now. Spike dropped the axe and returned to Buffy’s side. She kept staring into space and eating whatever they had brought her. He gently took her hand out of the bowl. “We need to go, love,” he said, softly. He quickly removed his duster and his blue overshirt. He slipped the shirt on her unresisting form, moving her arms as if she was a rag doll. Then he put his duster on her. As he was guiding her left hand through the sleeve, he gasped. Her hand was missing the little finger. It had been amputated almost completely, leaving a poorly healed, ragged stump. His stomach sank. My God, Slayer, what have they done to you?
Having covered Buffy somewhat, he scooped her into his arms. She was dead weight, unresisting and completely unresponsive. He was going to have to leave the axe – there was no way he could manage it and her. Hope I can get out of here without needing it. Spike carried her to the door, listened once more, then carefully poked his head into the corridor. The coast was clear, so he began to make his way quietly down the hall toward the exit.
It was even slower going than before. Now he was playing dodge-the-demon with his arms full. He hoped and prayed that she wouldn’t suddenly come to and scream or something – he would not be able to fight off an army of these guys with no weapon and a catatonic slayer in his arms. After what seemed like an hour he finally reached the level of the exit. He waited in an alcove as the guards walked back and forth in front of the great door. He was wondering how long he would have to wait for a chance to make a break for it when there was a commotion in the hall behind him. The door guards ran into the hall to check it out, and he sprinted for the exit. His momentary elation at having gotten out was dashed by the realization that they were shouting about ‘the vessel’ having escaped. He felt he was correct in assuming that Buffy was the vessel, and that they had found the guard’s body.
His feelings were confirmed as he heard shouts, roars, and the unmistakable sound of pursuit. Glancing behind, he saw about 15 guards running his general direction, armed to the teeth.Shit, shit, SHIT! he thought. He looked quickly toward the rocks on his left, and then to the right. In that direction across the open space was a forest of twisted, thorny trees. He headed straight for the woods, diving in among the trees headlong. He curled himself protectively about Buffy as the branches lacerated his arms. He zigzagged through the woods, deliberately choosing narrow paths that were reasonably easy to get through for a thin vampire, but would be harder for a 7 foot tall demon. The darkness of the forest gave Spike a bit of an advantage, and the noise the demons themselves made tended to drown out the sound of his flight. After crashing through endless thickets he jumped a small stream and ran a short way up the bank. Then, thinking better of it, he returned to the stream, carefully stepping on exposed rocks so as to leave no footprints. He increased his speed, using his vampire talents to the fullest, and was gratified to hear the sounds of pursuit fading in the distance. He ran through the stream for as long as he could, hoping the water would hide his scent and footprints.
After a time, the wood started to thin out slightly at the base of a series of cliffs. Scanning the cliffs, he noticed a little opening in one of them, half hidden by some bushes. He dived inside and was pleasantly surprised to find that it opened into a reasonably sized cave. Nearly spent, he carefully set Buffy down on the ground. He sat down hard next to her, grateful that he didn’t need to breathe at the moment. He winced again at the sight of her blank eyes, her bruised, swollen body. The girl needed a doctor, quickly. He dug into his pocket and found the paper with the chant written on it. It was only then that he glanced at his left wrist. The amulet was gone.
TBC
Keep the reviews coming! I’m ever so grateful for the feedback! I will reward reviews with frequent updates…
**************
After a strange pulling sensation, Spike landed in the middle of an outcropping of rocks. Fuck! Sunlight! His demon screamed to run, but after a second he realized he was not actually on fire. Well, that’s a welcome twist, he thought. Apparently the sun in this dimension had no effect on him. Certainly made things easier. Damn lucky too, since none of them had thought about that problem before they said the spell. Typical Willow - never did think through the consequences completely. Spike wondered what other unexpected surprises he was in for.
He looked around. The outcropping of rocks was part of a ravine, funneling down toward some sort of massive structure. He crept from rock to rock, keeping a wary eye on his surroundings. At the mouth of the ravine, he paused behind another rock to survey the landscape. A dusty flat area led up to a massive fortress, which looked like it had been hewn out of a mountainside. There were demon guards all over the place.
Spike sat back out of sight and thought for a bit. Back door, maybe? Or wait until dark? He did not fancy facing these guys in force. One or two he could handle, but this rescue would go nowhere fast if he got himself gutted again. He made up his mind – he had to wait until dark. The flat area in front of the main door had no cover. If he tried to creep around the back in the daytime he had a very good chance of being seen. Grumbling with frustration, he sat down to wait.
After what seemed an eternity the sun finally went down. Spike rose, hefted his axe, and crept slowly around the edge of the open area. There were a few guards still on duty, but they were hanging out around the door, and not patrolling much. He could see their point – who in their right mind would attack this place? He crept around until he reached the craggy walls of the fortress. Following the walls as quickly as he could, he came to a small entrance. It appeared to be some sort of sewer outflow or something. Spike had to bend nearly double to enter it, but it seemed the best way to get in unnoticed.
He followed the tunnel for a long way before he saw a grate above his head. He listened carefully, but heard nothing. Deciding to risk it, he edged the grate up a bit. The coast was clear. He pushed the grate to the side, wincing a bit as it grated on the stone floor. Passing his axe through the opening, he pulled himself out. Boots will never be the same, he sighed inwardly. He seemed to be in some sort of storeroom or something. Locating the door, he cautiously stuck his head out. He vamped out to enhance his senses and slowly left the room, taking off silently down the corridor.
He snuck through the tunnels for a very long time. He eventually found himself nearing the more populated areas of the building. He stepped quickly behind a corner as he heard several demons approaching. Fortunately, these guys weighed so much they shook the ground when they walked, so hearing them coming was not a big issue. Spike continued on, getting closer to what seemed to be the central portion of the fortress. Then, passing a set of stairs leading down, he stopped and sniffed the air. Slayer. His vampire senses could pick up the faint scent of the woman he sought. He looked around for demons, then quickly slipped down the stairs.
Spike followed the faint scent through the halls of the fortress. The tunnels and corridors were much closer to a series of interconnected caves than a building. This had the advantage of leaving many corners and nooks that a thin, black clad figure could hide in to wait for demons to pass. He silently and invisibly made his way through the twisted maze until he reached another corridor with many small rooms opening off of it. The scent was stronger here. He was mildly puzzled to see that none of the doors had any guards on them. You would think that with the Slayer here, they would post extra demons to guard against escape. He let that thought go for the time being and concentrated on finding Buffy.
He stalked down the corridor to the last door on the left. He paused, listening, but heard nothing but a human heartbeat. He looked through the small opening in the door and was relieved to see the head of the Slayer. “Buffy!” he called softly. No response. “Buffy!” he repeated a little louder. Bint must be asleep, he mused.
The lock on the door was massive, but Spike hadn’t lived for 120 years without picking up some useful skills, including lock picking. Silently, he opened the door, grateful that it didn’t groan on its hinges. He stepped in and closed it most of the way behind him. Then he turned and began saying, “Slayer! It’s me. We have to… “ He stopped and stared in shock at the sight before him.
Buffy was naked. Although he had spent much of the past year or so fantasizing about this very thing, in this case lust was the furthest thing from his mind. She was filthy, and covered in welts and bruises. Some looked weeks old, while some were relatively fresh. She was curled in a ball, her hair hanging lank and tangled over her face. One leg looked distorted, as if it had been broken and set badly, if at all.
Swallowing his distress, he crouched down and touched her shoulder gently. “Buffy?” he said quietly. He tugged gently to get her to look at him. She cringed away, like a frightened animal, and stared at him with blank, uncomprehending eyes. That was when Spike noticed the final horror. She was pregnant. Not just pregnant, but grossly, hugely so. Spike realized now that he could hear the second heartbeat – and it was clearly not human. Even though they had suspected this might happen, it was a tremendous shock.
Spike had expected that Buffy might be in rough shape, but he never could have imagined this abused, catatonic figure before him. He had perhaps in the deepest corners of his mind imagined that she would welcome him as her liberator, perhaps leading to a deeper relationship between them. But he never planned for this unresponsive, frightened creature. How was he going to get her out of here? He had assumed, poorly as it turned out, that she would at least be able to walk, that they would somehow sneak out together and find somewhere quiet to say the spell and open the portal. Could he do it here?
Just then his enhanced hearing picked up the sound of an approaching demon. Shit, he thought. He shut the door quietly and quickly stepped behind it. In less than a minute he heard the rattle of the lock. He watched as the door opened and a guard came in. “Eat,” the guard grunted in barely understandable English. He put a bowl of something gray next to Buffy. At first she didn’t respond, causing the demon to backhand her across the face. “Eat!” he commanded again, and this time she obeyed, mechanically, eating with her hands like an animal. As the guard turned to leave, Spike sprung at him with his axe, taking his head clean off before the guard could make a sound. The demon tottered for a moment then fell with a crashing thud.
Spike listened. Good. For now, it appeared the guard was alone. But clearly, they needed to get the hell out of here, now. Spike dropped the axe and returned to Buffy’s side. She kept staring into space and eating whatever they had brought her. He gently took her hand out of the bowl. “We need to go, love,” he said, softly. He quickly removed his duster and his blue overshirt. He slipped the shirt on her unresisting form, moving her arms as if she was a rag doll. Then he put his duster on her. As he was guiding her left hand through the sleeve, he gasped. Her hand was missing the little finger. It had been amputated almost completely, leaving a poorly healed, ragged stump. His stomach sank. My God, Slayer, what have they done to you?
Having covered Buffy somewhat, he scooped her into his arms. She was dead weight, unresisting and completely unresponsive. He was going to have to leave the axe – there was no way he could manage it and her. Hope I can get out of here without needing it. Spike carried her to the door, listened once more, then carefully poked his head into the corridor. The coast was clear, so he began to make his way quietly down the hall toward the exit.
It was even slower going than before. Now he was playing dodge-the-demon with his arms full. He hoped and prayed that she wouldn’t suddenly come to and scream or something – he would not be able to fight off an army of these guys with no weapon and a catatonic slayer in his arms. After what seemed like an hour he finally reached the level of the exit. He waited in an alcove as the guards walked back and forth in front of the great door. He was wondering how long he would have to wait for a chance to make a break for it when there was a commotion in the hall behind him. The door guards ran into the hall to check it out, and he sprinted for the exit. His momentary elation at having gotten out was dashed by the realization that they were shouting about ‘the vessel’ having escaped. He felt he was correct in assuming that Buffy was the vessel, and that they had found the guard’s body.
His feelings were confirmed as he heard shouts, roars, and the unmistakable sound of pursuit. Glancing behind, he saw about 15 guards running his general direction, armed to the teeth.Shit, shit, SHIT! he thought. He looked quickly toward the rocks on his left, and then to the right. In that direction across the open space was a forest of twisted, thorny trees. He headed straight for the woods, diving in among the trees headlong. He curled himself protectively about Buffy as the branches lacerated his arms. He zigzagged through the woods, deliberately choosing narrow paths that were reasonably easy to get through for a thin vampire, but would be harder for a 7 foot tall demon. The darkness of the forest gave Spike a bit of an advantage, and the noise the demons themselves made tended to drown out the sound of his flight. After crashing through endless thickets he jumped a small stream and ran a short way up the bank. Then, thinking better of it, he returned to the stream, carefully stepping on exposed rocks so as to leave no footprints. He increased his speed, using his vampire talents to the fullest, and was gratified to hear the sounds of pursuit fading in the distance. He ran through the stream for as long as he could, hoping the water would hide his scent and footprints.
After a time, the wood started to thin out slightly at the base of a series of cliffs. Scanning the cliffs, he noticed a little opening in one of them, half hidden by some bushes. He dived inside and was pleasantly surprised to find that it opened into a reasonably sized cave. Nearly spent, he carefully set Buffy down on the ground. He sat down hard next to her, grateful that he didn’t need to breathe at the moment. He winced again at the sight of her blank eyes, her bruised, swollen body. The girl needed a doctor, quickly. He dug into his pocket and found the paper with the chant written on it. It was only then that he glanced at his left wrist. The amulet was gone.
TBC
Survival
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all the characters, which is patently unfair. But at least he shares.
Thanks again for all the encouraging reviews!
****************
Spike stood there, staring at his empty wrist as the horror grew in his mind. He had lost it. They were trapped here. He fought his rising panic. Bloody fucking hell. The forest. It must have gotten caught on one of those fucking branches in the forest. His arms were a scratched and bloody mess from fighting his way through dozens of thickets. He looked at Buffy, slumped on the floor where he had placed her. Oh God love, I’m sorry. I failed you again.
He sat down next to her and gently touched her hair. Even in her current state he found her achingly beautiful. “What are we going to do, pet?” he asked quietly. He kept stroking her hair, willing her to respond to him, but she just lay curled on her side, staring into nothing.
After allowing himself a few minutes of near despair, he sat up a bit and took stock of the situation. From what he could see, he had two choices. He could find the amulet, or he could hope that once enough time went by the Scoobies would try another spell to locate them and open a portal. He knew how impatient they were to get Buffy back. He figured that after about 12 hours or so they would probably decide he had failed or something and try again. Their underwhelming faith in him might actually help for once.
Best to sit tight for a little while, I guess. He reached over to Buffy and felt gently in the pocket of his duster for his silver flask. She didn’t even flinch when he came near. He wasn’t sure if that meant she was no longer afraid of him or beyond caring. The flask was about a quarter full of whiskey. He drained it quickly, then slowly poked his head out of the cave. Upon seeing the coast was clear, he scrambled down to the stream and filled the flask with water. He took a quick sip – it seemed clean enough. As long as it wasn’t outright poisonous it would have to do. He returned to the cave and helped Buffy sit up. When he held the flask to her lips she swallowed the water, but made no other sign of awareness.
He took a bandana out of another pocket and moistened it with a little water. Tenderly, he began washing some of the dirt off of her face. There were deep circles under her unseeing green eyes, and a fresh bruise bloomed on her cheek from the guard backhanding her. After he finished, she looked a little more like the Buffy he remembered, but not much.
He was acutely aware of the heartbeat of the demon child within her. “How is it you’re so far along, love?” he wondered, placing his hand on her swollen belly. He could feel the movement within her. She looked and felt like she was nearly full term. How can that be? She only disappeared eight days ago…
Suddenly, he realized what they had all missed. Eight days. More like eight and a half. She was about eight and a half months along. Different flow of time. They had been working under the assumption that she could hold her own for a few days, and perhaps she had. But they had stranded her here for eight months, enduring lord knows what torments. Oh balls. If a day there was like a month here, then he could be stuck here for two weeks of local time before the Scoobies even started to worry.
He looked at the Slayer. She was painfully thin and drawn. Probably had been fed enough to keep the demon’s spawn alive, but no more. He would have to find food she could eat, keep her safe. Gotta find that bloody amulet. But how? How long could he leave her? If some far ranging patrol found her when he was out, she was a sitting duck. Had he rescued her only to have her starve to death? Shit, shit, shit.
Get a grip! he told himself furiously. He took a deep breath. Probably best to stay hidden as much as possible during the day. He could probably build a small fire in the back of the cave. If he used dry enough wood it wouldn’t smoke too much, and they were pretty far away from the fortress. Buffy would have warmth and light at least. Water was taken care of with his flask. Maybe there were some edible creatures in the woods. He would have to work his way back along his trail, carefully searching for the amulet. If he started at the cave and worked backward, he should eventually find it. Unless one of the demons finds it first. He squashed that thought. He would find it. He would do what he came here to do – save the Slayer.
He put his nervous energy to work. He crept out and found a fair quantity of dry wood. After all those years of travel with the rest of the Scourge of Europe, he was pretty good at roughing it when necessary. Not that Darla would put up with roughing it if she had any say in the matter, but he never minded in particular. He built a small fire as far back in the cave as possible. It might get a little smoky, but the ceiling was fairly high, so the air should remain ok. He moved Buffy close enough to get some warmth, but not so close that she would fall into it if she fell asleep. He held her for a moment before putting her down. Buffy you’ve got to snap out of it, love. Dawn needs you. I need you. Please. He planted a light kiss on the top of her head as he set her down and tried to make her comfortable. A wave of sadness broke over him. The Buffy he had known would never let him get so familiar. He felt he would give anything for even a punch in the nose from her, just to know she was still in there somewhere.
He left the cave again. What passed for the moon in this realm was rather dim this evening. Even his vampire vision was hard pressed to see small details. Nevertheless, he moved down the bank toward the stream. He noticed some movement in the twilight along the edge of the water. Creeping up stealthily, he managed to catch what looked like some sort of big, distorted toad. Well, the French eat frog legs, don’t they? Wonder what this thing would taste like cooked?
He figured he might as well try. It seemed like these things were plentiful, judging from the noises, so they would be a steady source of protein for Buffy if they were edible. He was almost grateful for her catatonic state – no telling how a Buffy in complete control of her mental functions would react to being offered a meal of demon toad.
Spike returned to the cave and skewered the toad-thing on a stick. Propping it up on a rock, he roasted it over the fire. It wasn’t the best smelling thing in the world, but he had seen worse. He peeled the skin off one leg after a time and tasted it. I’ll be buggered. It tastes like chicken. Encouraged, he tore some pieces off of the beast and put them to Buffy’s lips one at a time. “Eat, love,” he said. She obeyed, never fully focusing, but chewing and swallowing as he passed her the meat. She ate the entire thing, then seemed to relax slightly. She curled up on the ground, but in a less tense posture than before. Within a few minutes, she was asleep.
Probably the first decent meal she’s had in months. Spike sat next to her, stroking her hair once more. Then he stretched out beside her and closed his own eyes. Get a fresh start in the morning, I guess. As the fire died to embers, Spike drifted off as well.
******
A low rumble woke Spike many hours later. It took him a moment to realize it was his own stomach. He hadn’t fed in a good 24 hours or more. At this point he realized another flaw in his current plans: there were no provisions for him. The toads, while edible, had nothing much in the way of blood, and what blood there was wouldn’t sustain him for long. Demon blood was a hit or miss prospect – some helped, some just made him nauseous. Plus he really wanted to avoid the demons rather than hunt them. No telling if he could even get his fangs through that thick skin, and their tendency toward kicking his ass made him wary. Well, he had gone longer without eating before. Hopefully he would find the amulet and get them the hell out of there before Buffy started looking like breakfast.
He sat up and rubbed his face. Buffy was awake. She was sitting up, arms wrapped around her knees, just rocking slightly back and forth, staring at nothing. “Morning, Slayer,” he said amiably. “I’ll go see about some breakfast for you, ok?” Buffy just kept rocking.
Spike refilled the flask and managed to catch another toad. He set it to roasting, then turned to Buffy. Wrapping her hands around the flask, he held it to her lips. “Drink up, pet. You can do it.” She mechanically responded, guzzling the water as if she had no idea when she would drink again. As before, he fed her the roasted meat when it was done, and once again she ate it all. All the while, he kept up a steady stream of talk. She seemed calmer, somehow, when he was talking. Probably no one had spoken to her other than to order or abuse her for months. He told her about what had happened in the eight days she had been gone. He chatted about this and that, just giving her something to listen to while he tidied up their space. Eventually she lay back down and closed her eyes again.
“’M going out for a bit, pet,” he said. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” He really hoped she didn’t decide to start wandering. That would lead to nothing good at all. But he had to go search for that amulet. Hopefully, he could get a little closer toward the fortress without being caught.
He spent an hour or two searching the ground, retracing his steps toward the fortress. He figured that if it fell in the stream it would probably sink. The stream was pretty shallow, and the amulet had been heavy metal. But he saw no sign of it. He really had run quite a distance in his desperation to get Buffy to safety. Checking all this ground carefully, without getting caught, was going to be a challenge, to say the least.
After a while he got nervous about Buffy and returned to the cave. She was more or less where he had left her, although she was awake and sitting up. She was curled up again, and shrank away when he entered the cave. “Shh, just me, Slayer,” he said softly. “Spike, remember? Mortal enemy? Drinking buddy?” She stopped shivering at the sound of his voice and relaxed slightly. Somehow she seemed to understand that he meant no harm to her, even if she was otherwise lost in her own world. Spike sat next to her and after considering a moment, stroked her back gently. She didn’t seem to mind one way or the other, so he just kept up the gentle stroking for a while.
“Not sure what happened to you, Buff,” he mused as he rubbed her back. “You seem so lost in there. ‘M gonna try to keep you safe though. I’ll fight those things until I dust to protect you. You know that, right?” She had closed her eyes and rested her head on her knees. She seemed to be enjoying the touch and the sound. Spike continued quietly, “I don’t know if you can understand me. But I love you, Slayer. Don’t expect you to love me back. Don’t really expect anything from you. Just want you to know that.” He lapsed into silence, not knowing what else to say.
He lost track of how long they sat there, but eventually he got up and went hunting for her dinner. He fed her again, gratified to see her wolfing down the food. It did his heart good to try to put some weight on her thin frame. When she finished eating it was nearly dark. He went back out again, venturing a bit farther, still scanning the ground and the stream bed, searching for the amulet. He made it about a third of the way back to the fortress with no luck. Growling in frustration, he returned to the cave.
This time she looked at him when he came in. She was still not talking, but she reacted to his presence. When he lay down next to her, she curled up at his side, like a cat beside its owner. He rolled on his side and put one arm around her protectively. He watched her sleeping for a while. Her tangled hair and bruised face should have made her less attractive. But she was still the loveliest thing he had ever seen. He felt a little guilty, curling up with her when she had no concept of who he was. If she suddenly came to he was probably asking to get staked. But for now she seemed to take comfort in his presence. At this point, he’d take what he could get.
TBC
Thanks again for all the encouraging reviews!
****************
Spike stood there, staring at his empty wrist as the horror grew in his mind. He had lost it. They were trapped here. He fought his rising panic. Bloody fucking hell. The forest. It must have gotten caught on one of those fucking branches in the forest. His arms were a scratched and bloody mess from fighting his way through dozens of thickets. He looked at Buffy, slumped on the floor where he had placed her. Oh God love, I’m sorry. I failed you again.
He sat down next to her and gently touched her hair. Even in her current state he found her achingly beautiful. “What are we going to do, pet?” he asked quietly. He kept stroking her hair, willing her to respond to him, but she just lay curled on her side, staring into nothing.
After allowing himself a few minutes of near despair, he sat up a bit and took stock of the situation. From what he could see, he had two choices. He could find the amulet, or he could hope that once enough time went by the Scoobies would try another spell to locate them and open a portal. He knew how impatient they were to get Buffy back. He figured that after about 12 hours or so they would probably decide he had failed or something and try again. Their underwhelming faith in him might actually help for once.
Best to sit tight for a little while, I guess. He reached over to Buffy and felt gently in the pocket of his duster for his silver flask. She didn’t even flinch when he came near. He wasn’t sure if that meant she was no longer afraid of him or beyond caring. The flask was about a quarter full of whiskey. He drained it quickly, then slowly poked his head out of the cave. Upon seeing the coast was clear, he scrambled down to the stream and filled the flask with water. He took a quick sip – it seemed clean enough. As long as it wasn’t outright poisonous it would have to do. He returned to the cave and helped Buffy sit up. When he held the flask to her lips she swallowed the water, but made no other sign of awareness.
He took a bandana out of another pocket and moistened it with a little water. Tenderly, he began washing some of the dirt off of her face. There were deep circles under her unseeing green eyes, and a fresh bruise bloomed on her cheek from the guard backhanding her. After he finished, she looked a little more like the Buffy he remembered, but not much.
He was acutely aware of the heartbeat of the demon child within her. “How is it you’re so far along, love?” he wondered, placing his hand on her swollen belly. He could feel the movement within her. She looked and felt like she was nearly full term. How can that be? She only disappeared eight days ago…
Suddenly, he realized what they had all missed. Eight days. More like eight and a half. She was about eight and a half months along. Different flow of time. They had been working under the assumption that she could hold her own for a few days, and perhaps she had. But they had stranded her here for eight months, enduring lord knows what torments. Oh balls. If a day there was like a month here, then he could be stuck here for two weeks of local time before the Scoobies even started to worry.
He looked at the Slayer. She was painfully thin and drawn. Probably had been fed enough to keep the demon’s spawn alive, but no more. He would have to find food she could eat, keep her safe. Gotta find that bloody amulet. But how? How long could he leave her? If some far ranging patrol found her when he was out, she was a sitting duck. Had he rescued her only to have her starve to death? Shit, shit, shit.
Get a grip! he told himself furiously. He took a deep breath. Probably best to stay hidden as much as possible during the day. He could probably build a small fire in the back of the cave. If he used dry enough wood it wouldn’t smoke too much, and they were pretty far away from the fortress. Buffy would have warmth and light at least. Water was taken care of with his flask. Maybe there were some edible creatures in the woods. He would have to work his way back along his trail, carefully searching for the amulet. If he started at the cave and worked backward, he should eventually find it. Unless one of the demons finds it first. He squashed that thought. He would find it. He would do what he came here to do – save the Slayer.
He put his nervous energy to work. He crept out and found a fair quantity of dry wood. After all those years of travel with the rest of the Scourge of Europe, he was pretty good at roughing it when necessary. Not that Darla would put up with roughing it if she had any say in the matter, but he never minded in particular. He built a small fire as far back in the cave as possible. It might get a little smoky, but the ceiling was fairly high, so the air should remain ok. He moved Buffy close enough to get some warmth, but not so close that she would fall into it if she fell asleep. He held her for a moment before putting her down. Buffy you’ve got to snap out of it, love. Dawn needs you. I need you. Please. He planted a light kiss on the top of her head as he set her down and tried to make her comfortable. A wave of sadness broke over him. The Buffy he had known would never let him get so familiar. He felt he would give anything for even a punch in the nose from her, just to know she was still in there somewhere.
He left the cave again. What passed for the moon in this realm was rather dim this evening. Even his vampire vision was hard pressed to see small details. Nevertheless, he moved down the bank toward the stream. He noticed some movement in the twilight along the edge of the water. Creeping up stealthily, he managed to catch what looked like some sort of big, distorted toad. Well, the French eat frog legs, don’t they? Wonder what this thing would taste like cooked?
He figured he might as well try. It seemed like these things were plentiful, judging from the noises, so they would be a steady source of protein for Buffy if they were edible. He was almost grateful for her catatonic state – no telling how a Buffy in complete control of her mental functions would react to being offered a meal of demon toad.
Spike returned to the cave and skewered the toad-thing on a stick. Propping it up on a rock, he roasted it over the fire. It wasn’t the best smelling thing in the world, but he had seen worse. He peeled the skin off one leg after a time and tasted it. I’ll be buggered. It tastes like chicken. Encouraged, he tore some pieces off of the beast and put them to Buffy’s lips one at a time. “Eat, love,” he said. She obeyed, never fully focusing, but chewing and swallowing as he passed her the meat. She ate the entire thing, then seemed to relax slightly. She curled up on the ground, but in a less tense posture than before. Within a few minutes, she was asleep.
Probably the first decent meal she’s had in months. Spike sat next to her, stroking her hair once more. Then he stretched out beside her and closed his own eyes. Get a fresh start in the morning, I guess. As the fire died to embers, Spike drifted off as well.
******
A low rumble woke Spike many hours later. It took him a moment to realize it was his own stomach. He hadn’t fed in a good 24 hours or more. At this point he realized another flaw in his current plans: there were no provisions for him. The toads, while edible, had nothing much in the way of blood, and what blood there was wouldn’t sustain him for long. Demon blood was a hit or miss prospect – some helped, some just made him nauseous. Plus he really wanted to avoid the demons rather than hunt them. No telling if he could even get his fangs through that thick skin, and their tendency toward kicking his ass made him wary. Well, he had gone longer without eating before. Hopefully he would find the amulet and get them the hell out of there before Buffy started looking like breakfast.
He sat up and rubbed his face. Buffy was awake. She was sitting up, arms wrapped around her knees, just rocking slightly back and forth, staring at nothing. “Morning, Slayer,” he said amiably. “I’ll go see about some breakfast for you, ok?” Buffy just kept rocking.
Spike refilled the flask and managed to catch another toad. He set it to roasting, then turned to Buffy. Wrapping her hands around the flask, he held it to her lips. “Drink up, pet. You can do it.” She mechanically responded, guzzling the water as if she had no idea when she would drink again. As before, he fed her the roasted meat when it was done, and once again she ate it all. All the while, he kept up a steady stream of talk. She seemed calmer, somehow, when he was talking. Probably no one had spoken to her other than to order or abuse her for months. He told her about what had happened in the eight days she had been gone. He chatted about this and that, just giving her something to listen to while he tidied up their space. Eventually she lay back down and closed her eyes again.
“’M going out for a bit, pet,” he said. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” He really hoped she didn’t decide to start wandering. That would lead to nothing good at all. But he had to go search for that amulet. Hopefully, he could get a little closer toward the fortress without being caught.
He spent an hour or two searching the ground, retracing his steps toward the fortress. He figured that if it fell in the stream it would probably sink. The stream was pretty shallow, and the amulet had been heavy metal. But he saw no sign of it. He really had run quite a distance in his desperation to get Buffy to safety. Checking all this ground carefully, without getting caught, was going to be a challenge, to say the least.
After a while he got nervous about Buffy and returned to the cave. She was more or less where he had left her, although she was awake and sitting up. She was curled up again, and shrank away when he entered the cave. “Shh, just me, Slayer,” he said softly. “Spike, remember? Mortal enemy? Drinking buddy?” She stopped shivering at the sound of his voice and relaxed slightly. Somehow she seemed to understand that he meant no harm to her, even if she was otherwise lost in her own world. Spike sat next to her and after considering a moment, stroked her back gently. She didn’t seem to mind one way or the other, so he just kept up the gentle stroking for a while.
“Not sure what happened to you, Buff,” he mused as he rubbed her back. “You seem so lost in there. ‘M gonna try to keep you safe though. I’ll fight those things until I dust to protect you. You know that, right?” She had closed her eyes and rested her head on her knees. She seemed to be enjoying the touch and the sound. Spike continued quietly, “I don’t know if you can understand me. But I love you, Slayer. Don’t expect you to love me back. Don’t really expect anything from you. Just want you to know that.” He lapsed into silence, not knowing what else to say.
He lost track of how long they sat there, but eventually he got up and went hunting for her dinner. He fed her again, gratified to see her wolfing down the food. It did his heart good to try to put some weight on her thin frame. When she finished eating it was nearly dark. He went back out again, venturing a bit farther, still scanning the ground and the stream bed, searching for the amulet. He made it about a third of the way back to the fortress with no luck. Growling in frustration, he returned to the cave.
This time she looked at him when he came in. She was still not talking, but she reacted to his presence. When he lay down next to her, she curled up at his side, like a cat beside its owner. He rolled on his side and put one arm around her protectively. He watched her sleeping for a while. Her tangled hair and bruised face should have made her less attractive. But she was still the loveliest thing he had ever seen. He felt a little guilty, curling up with her when she had no concept of who he was. If she suddenly came to he was probably asking to get staked. But for now she seemed to take comfort in his presence. At this point, he’d take what he could get.
TBC
Awake
Disclaimer: All the vampires are Joss Whedon’s. And the slayers. And all the Scoobies. Sigh.
Keep the reviews coming! Thank you so much!
********************
Several days passed in a similar vein. He spent the days hunting for the amulet or finding food, wood, and water to keep Buffy going. In between expeditions he held her, talked to her, tried to clean some of the grime off of her. He ventured a little farther every day. He hated to leave her – he was so afraid something would attack her. But they were stuck there until he either found that amulet or the Scoobies somehow decided to find them.
He found his energy decreasing day by day. He desperately needed blood. He fought hard to keep his demon under control. Down boy. Slayers are not for eating this trip. He was still able to function, but he really needed the down time between trips. He idly wondered how long this could continue. But this afternoon, as before, he reluctantly left Buffy’s side and ventured out to search.
He had ranged far enough that he was approaching the place where he had first entered the stream. He treaded quietly here, realizing that he was getting dangerously close to the fortress. He was searching the ground as usual when he heard a sound off to his right. Crouching behind a thick, thorny bush, he saw a demon guard, alone, wandering through the wood. The creature was coming closer to Spike’s hiding place. Right in front of the bush, the guard stopped, scanning the ground. Shit. My footprints. Spike realized that he had not been so careful this time, and had left clear footprints all over the place in his search for the amulet. Another side effect of the starvation diet – he was getting careless. Fuck. Now what?
Looking around, Spike spied a large branch on the ground nearby. He reached out silently and grabbed it with both hands. Then, jumping out from behind the bush, he swung the branch with all his might, clubbing the demon across the skull.
The demon staggered and roared, then turned on Spike. Spike cracked him on the head again, but the demon managed to get in a punch that broke several of Spike’s ribs. He vamped out from the pain, swinging the branch again and again as the demon kept flailing at him. Spike’s luck turned when the guard tripped and fell backward over a tree root. Spike landed on him, pinned his arms, and grabbed his throat. Squeezing with all of his strength, he tore the creature’s throat out, watching with satisfaction as the body twitched a few times, then lay still.
Spike was panting with the exertion. His broken ribs were grinding together, nearly bringing tears to his eyes. He thought his collarbone might be fractured as well. He made his way painfully to his feet. He realized right away that he was going to have to do something with the body. If another patrol found it, they might start investigating farther afield, and he really didn’t need that. He considered draining the demon first. But upon tasting the demon’s blood, he thought better of it. Won’t help me if I just puke it all up afterwards. These things are foul beyond words.
He noticed one particularly dense thicket with a bit of a hollow in the center. It would have to do. The demon proved to be massively heavy – Spike winced and cursed steadily under his breath as he slowly dragged the carcass toward the concealing bushes. He tore his arms up again on the thorns, and at one point spit out blood. Lovely. Just what I need, some internal bleeding. Finally, after a long effort, the body was concealed in the center of the brambles. Spike surveyed the scene. He grabbed a branch and rubbed out as many of the footprints as he could. Then he marshaled his strength to stagger back to the cave.
By the time he got back to their temporary home, Spike was nearly spent. He ducked to enter the cave, and ended up collapsing on the ground right inside the door. Buffy was staring at him, rocking, but made no movement, no sound. After a few minutes he crawled over to the fire, lying down next to it and closing his eyes.
He woke up and found the fire was nearly out. His broken bones protested as he somehow managed to sit up and put a few more sticks on the embers. He was grateful that he had laid in a good supply earlier. He leaned against the wall when he was finished and rested again. This was no good. No good at all. He could barely crawl around the cave. How could he get food for Buffy? Find the amulet? Defend either of them if they were found?
His demon was screaming in his head, and he struggled not to vamp out in pain. He was injured and starving, and having a slayer two feet away looking at him did not help at all. He looked at Buffy for a long time. I could just take a small drink. Not enough to hurt her. With slayer blood, a little bit is enough. He clenched his fists in frustration. He didn’t want to traumatize her any further. He didn’t even know if he could drink from her – the chip would probably prevent it. But if he didn’t heal, what good would he be? Damned either way.
Finally, he made up his mind. The chances of them ever getting out of this hell were nil unless he could move around. He needed blood to heal. He was going to have to drink from Buffy.
Gathering his strength, he moved over next to her. Injured as he was, he still had almost no trouble picking her up and cradling her in his lap. She was still so thin; she weighed almost nothing, even with the pregnancy. He held her like a child, crooning to her and stroking her hair, moving it away from her neck. Finally, he whispered, “Forgive me love.” Then he vamped out, and gently sank his fangs into her.
He took three long draughts of Buffy’s rich blood, quietly thankful that for whatever reason his chip didn’t fire. As he was licking the wounds closed, Buffy suddenly started to struggle. He cried out in pain as her strong slayer arms shoved him back, grinding his ribs. She scrambled crablike out of his grasp, backing up until she hit the cave wall. Her eyes were wide, but this time they were aware.
“What the fuck are you doing?” she barked. Her voice was scratchy, like she hadn’t spoken in months. “You bit me!” She saw the pile of firewood next to her and grabbed for a makeshift stake. She quickly found the sharpest piece of wood she could find and tried to stand up. Her injured leg wouldn’t hold her weight, however, and her pregnant body was so unwieldy that she soon found herself sliding back down the wall.
Spike likewise scrambled backward, still vamped, and grimacing. “Buffy! Hang on! It’s me, ok? It’s Spike.” He really did not feel up to facing a slayer at the moment. He was more than a little grateful that she couldn’t walk properly, as that was probably the only reason he was not currently a pile of dust.
“I know who you are!” snapped Buffy. “Which is why I am wondering why the hell someone who is always telling me how much he cares about me is chewing on my neck!”
“Do you realize where the hell you are, you stupid bint?” Spike snapped back. With an effort he returned to his human face and glared at her.
Buffy froze for a second. Her eyes widened as she took in the cave walls. She dropped the stake and looked down at herself – bruised, pregnant, and wearing Spike’s shirt and duster, but nothing else. She blushed and wrapped the duster tighter around herself. “What’s going on?” she asked in a bewildered voice.
Spike sat up further and inched over to lean against the wall, still keeping a distance between himself and the slayer. “You were kidnapped by Y’sogoth demons, remember?” he began, watching her carefully. “I came to get you back. I found you… in your current condition. I got you out of the fortress, brought you here to keep you safe. I’ve been trying to keep you going, and find our way back home.”
“So, why the biting then, if you say you’re trying to keep me safe?” Buffy seemed to be struggling to keep herself under control.
Spike sighed. “I haven’t eaten in about five or six days, pet. I got in a scuffle with one of those demons, broke a few ribs, had some internal damage. I was afraid if I didn’t heal I couldn’t protect you. You were out of it, so I couldn’t get your permission first. I’m sorry, Buffy.” He looked directly into her eyes as he finished his sentence. Her eyes still seemed too large and wild for her face, but at least they were focused and comprehending. Provided she didn’t stake him, things were improving somewhat.
“So, this is real then?” she asked quietly. She was unconsciously curling her knees up toward her chest again.
“’Fraid so, pet,” Spike answered carefully. “I had an amulet that can get us back home. It got lost in the woods as I was running from the demons with you. I’ve been trying to find it for nearly a week now. As soon as I do, we’ll be able to get back to Sunnydale.”
Buffy’s lip quivered as tears started to run down her cheeks. “Oh God,” she sobbed. “I hoped it was all a nightmare, a hallucination, something.” She wept into her knees, rocking back and forth.
Spike eyed her for a moment, then made his decision. He carefully got up, noting that his collarbone was already feeling minutely better after the infusion of slayer blood. He slowly moved over and sat down next to Buffy. He hesitated for a minute, fearing her reaction, but then he put his arm around her shoulder. She looked at him with a tear stained face for a moment, then buried her head in his chest. They sat there for a long time, her crying, him just holding her.
After a while, her tears and sobbing tapered off and she sat up. “Thanks,” she whispered. She used the corner of the shirt she wore to wipe her eyes.
“Don’t mention it, pet,” he said, rubbing her back gently. “You thirsty?”
Buffy nodded, sniffling. Spike retrieved the flask, which was still half full, and passed it to her. “Just water, I’m afraid,” he added.
Buffy drank it down. “Probably better that way. You know how I react to alcohol.” She smiled sadly, then added, “I’m sorry I almost staked you.”
“Suppose I understand that sentiment,” said Spike. “You’re the Slayer. You snap out of whatever state you were in to find a vampire at your neck, your instinct is to stake first, ask questions later.”
“I think your bite is what snapped me out of it,” said Buffy. “I was just… not here for a long time. When I felt your fangs, it just sort of jump started my system somehow.”
“Did I hurt you?” Spike asked, concerned.
Buffy shook her head, “No. It actually felt good, in a way.” She paused for a moment, then asked, “Does it always feel like that?”
Spike shook his head, “Only if the vamp in question is being careful.”
Buffy realized something. “Didn’t your chip fire?”
Knowing he was probably signing his own death warrant, he took an unneeded breath and said, “No, Buffy. It didn’t fire. Not sure if it’s because rules are different in this world, or something is wrong with it or what. Maybe it didn’t fire because I truly didn’t want to hurt you. Can’t say.” Buffy thought about this new information. He can bite me! But even though he was injured and starving, he didn’t drain me. Why? She couldn’t understand it, but added this fact to the list of things to consider later.
Spike stood up to throw some wood on the fire. Buffy noticed how slowly he was moving, favoring his side. “You’re hurt pretty bad,” she observed.
“It’s mending,” replied Spike. “It will probably mend itself during the night if I can get to sleep. Collarbone is already a lot better, and I think the internal bleeding stopped. Slayer blood is potent stuff.”
“Not sure if I should be glad that I’m yummy or not,” said Buffy. She rubbed her hand thoughtfully over her protruding belly. “Not sure what I’m going to do about this either.”
Spike stopped puttering about the fire and came back over to her side. Kneeling down, he took her hands in his – just as he had done when she returned from the grave. He winced slightly at her missing finger, but stroked her knuckles with his thumbs and looked her in the eyes. “Listen to me, Buffy. I’m going to get you back home. Until I do, I am going to keep you safe. When we get home, we will find a way to get this thing out of you, understand?” Buffy looked deeply into his clear blue eyes. He meant every word that he said. She knew that if anyone could keep such an impossible promise, it would be him.
“Thank you, Spike,” she whispered again for the second time in ten minutes. They held each others’ gaze for a few minutes longer. Then Spike shook himself, let go of her hands, and found a spot to lie down. “I need to rest for a while, pet,” he explained.
Buffy was also tired, from the blood loss and the shock. “Spike?” she asked, shyly. “Can I… can you hold me? While I sleep?” She was shaken, and desperate for some human contact, or at least a close approximation.
Spike beckoned her over with a gentle smile. She lay with her back to him and he nestled up behind her, wrapping his arm protectively over her enormous belly. Thus entwined, they fell asleep.
TBC
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********************
Several days passed in a similar vein. He spent the days hunting for the amulet or finding food, wood, and water to keep Buffy going. In between expeditions he held her, talked to her, tried to clean some of the grime off of her. He ventured a little farther every day. He hated to leave her – he was so afraid something would attack her. But they were stuck there until he either found that amulet or the Scoobies somehow decided to find them.
He found his energy decreasing day by day. He desperately needed blood. He fought hard to keep his demon under control. Down boy. Slayers are not for eating this trip. He was still able to function, but he really needed the down time between trips. He idly wondered how long this could continue. But this afternoon, as before, he reluctantly left Buffy’s side and ventured out to search.
He had ranged far enough that he was approaching the place where he had first entered the stream. He treaded quietly here, realizing that he was getting dangerously close to the fortress. He was searching the ground as usual when he heard a sound off to his right. Crouching behind a thick, thorny bush, he saw a demon guard, alone, wandering through the wood. The creature was coming closer to Spike’s hiding place. Right in front of the bush, the guard stopped, scanning the ground. Shit. My footprints. Spike realized that he had not been so careful this time, and had left clear footprints all over the place in his search for the amulet. Another side effect of the starvation diet – he was getting careless. Fuck. Now what?
Looking around, Spike spied a large branch on the ground nearby. He reached out silently and grabbed it with both hands. Then, jumping out from behind the bush, he swung the branch with all his might, clubbing the demon across the skull.
The demon staggered and roared, then turned on Spike. Spike cracked him on the head again, but the demon managed to get in a punch that broke several of Spike’s ribs. He vamped out from the pain, swinging the branch again and again as the demon kept flailing at him. Spike’s luck turned when the guard tripped and fell backward over a tree root. Spike landed on him, pinned his arms, and grabbed his throat. Squeezing with all of his strength, he tore the creature’s throat out, watching with satisfaction as the body twitched a few times, then lay still.
Spike was panting with the exertion. His broken ribs were grinding together, nearly bringing tears to his eyes. He thought his collarbone might be fractured as well. He made his way painfully to his feet. He realized right away that he was going to have to do something with the body. If another patrol found it, they might start investigating farther afield, and he really didn’t need that. He considered draining the demon first. But upon tasting the demon’s blood, he thought better of it. Won’t help me if I just puke it all up afterwards. These things are foul beyond words.
He noticed one particularly dense thicket with a bit of a hollow in the center. It would have to do. The demon proved to be massively heavy – Spike winced and cursed steadily under his breath as he slowly dragged the carcass toward the concealing bushes. He tore his arms up again on the thorns, and at one point spit out blood. Lovely. Just what I need, some internal bleeding. Finally, after a long effort, the body was concealed in the center of the brambles. Spike surveyed the scene. He grabbed a branch and rubbed out as many of the footprints as he could. Then he marshaled his strength to stagger back to the cave.
By the time he got back to their temporary home, Spike was nearly spent. He ducked to enter the cave, and ended up collapsing on the ground right inside the door. Buffy was staring at him, rocking, but made no movement, no sound. After a few minutes he crawled over to the fire, lying down next to it and closing his eyes.
He woke up and found the fire was nearly out. His broken bones protested as he somehow managed to sit up and put a few more sticks on the embers. He was grateful that he had laid in a good supply earlier. He leaned against the wall when he was finished and rested again. This was no good. No good at all. He could barely crawl around the cave. How could he get food for Buffy? Find the amulet? Defend either of them if they were found?
His demon was screaming in his head, and he struggled not to vamp out in pain. He was injured and starving, and having a slayer two feet away looking at him did not help at all. He looked at Buffy for a long time. I could just take a small drink. Not enough to hurt her. With slayer blood, a little bit is enough. He clenched his fists in frustration. He didn’t want to traumatize her any further. He didn’t even know if he could drink from her – the chip would probably prevent it. But if he didn’t heal, what good would he be? Damned either way.
Finally, he made up his mind. The chances of them ever getting out of this hell were nil unless he could move around. He needed blood to heal. He was going to have to drink from Buffy.
Gathering his strength, he moved over next to her. Injured as he was, he still had almost no trouble picking her up and cradling her in his lap. She was still so thin; she weighed almost nothing, even with the pregnancy. He held her like a child, crooning to her and stroking her hair, moving it away from her neck. Finally, he whispered, “Forgive me love.” Then he vamped out, and gently sank his fangs into her.
He took three long draughts of Buffy’s rich blood, quietly thankful that for whatever reason his chip didn’t fire. As he was licking the wounds closed, Buffy suddenly started to struggle. He cried out in pain as her strong slayer arms shoved him back, grinding his ribs. She scrambled crablike out of his grasp, backing up until she hit the cave wall. Her eyes were wide, but this time they were aware.
“What the fuck are you doing?” she barked. Her voice was scratchy, like she hadn’t spoken in months. “You bit me!” She saw the pile of firewood next to her and grabbed for a makeshift stake. She quickly found the sharpest piece of wood she could find and tried to stand up. Her injured leg wouldn’t hold her weight, however, and her pregnant body was so unwieldy that she soon found herself sliding back down the wall.
Spike likewise scrambled backward, still vamped, and grimacing. “Buffy! Hang on! It’s me, ok? It’s Spike.” He really did not feel up to facing a slayer at the moment. He was more than a little grateful that she couldn’t walk properly, as that was probably the only reason he was not currently a pile of dust.
“I know who you are!” snapped Buffy. “Which is why I am wondering why the hell someone who is always telling me how much he cares about me is chewing on my neck!”
“Do you realize where the hell you are, you stupid bint?” Spike snapped back. With an effort he returned to his human face and glared at her.
Buffy froze for a second. Her eyes widened as she took in the cave walls. She dropped the stake and looked down at herself – bruised, pregnant, and wearing Spike’s shirt and duster, but nothing else. She blushed and wrapped the duster tighter around herself. “What’s going on?” she asked in a bewildered voice.
Spike sat up further and inched over to lean against the wall, still keeping a distance between himself and the slayer. “You were kidnapped by Y’sogoth demons, remember?” he began, watching her carefully. “I came to get you back. I found you… in your current condition. I got you out of the fortress, brought you here to keep you safe. I’ve been trying to keep you going, and find our way back home.”
“So, why the biting then, if you say you’re trying to keep me safe?” Buffy seemed to be struggling to keep herself under control.
Spike sighed. “I haven’t eaten in about five or six days, pet. I got in a scuffle with one of those demons, broke a few ribs, had some internal damage. I was afraid if I didn’t heal I couldn’t protect you. You were out of it, so I couldn’t get your permission first. I’m sorry, Buffy.” He looked directly into her eyes as he finished his sentence. Her eyes still seemed too large and wild for her face, but at least they were focused and comprehending. Provided she didn’t stake him, things were improving somewhat.
“So, this is real then?” she asked quietly. She was unconsciously curling her knees up toward her chest again.
“’Fraid so, pet,” Spike answered carefully. “I had an amulet that can get us back home. It got lost in the woods as I was running from the demons with you. I’ve been trying to find it for nearly a week now. As soon as I do, we’ll be able to get back to Sunnydale.”
Buffy’s lip quivered as tears started to run down her cheeks. “Oh God,” she sobbed. “I hoped it was all a nightmare, a hallucination, something.” She wept into her knees, rocking back and forth.
Spike eyed her for a moment, then made his decision. He carefully got up, noting that his collarbone was already feeling minutely better after the infusion of slayer blood. He slowly moved over and sat down next to Buffy. He hesitated for a minute, fearing her reaction, but then he put his arm around her shoulder. She looked at him with a tear stained face for a moment, then buried her head in his chest. They sat there for a long time, her crying, him just holding her.
After a while, her tears and sobbing tapered off and she sat up. “Thanks,” she whispered. She used the corner of the shirt she wore to wipe her eyes.
“Don’t mention it, pet,” he said, rubbing her back gently. “You thirsty?”
Buffy nodded, sniffling. Spike retrieved the flask, which was still half full, and passed it to her. “Just water, I’m afraid,” he added.
Buffy drank it down. “Probably better that way. You know how I react to alcohol.” She smiled sadly, then added, “I’m sorry I almost staked you.”
“Suppose I understand that sentiment,” said Spike. “You’re the Slayer. You snap out of whatever state you were in to find a vampire at your neck, your instinct is to stake first, ask questions later.”
“I think your bite is what snapped me out of it,” said Buffy. “I was just… not here for a long time. When I felt your fangs, it just sort of jump started my system somehow.”
“Did I hurt you?” Spike asked, concerned.
Buffy shook her head, “No. It actually felt good, in a way.” She paused for a moment, then asked, “Does it always feel like that?”
Spike shook his head, “Only if the vamp in question is being careful.”
Buffy realized something. “Didn’t your chip fire?”
Knowing he was probably signing his own death warrant, he took an unneeded breath and said, “No, Buffy. It didn’t fire. Not sure if it’s because rules are different in this world, or something is wrong with it or what. Maybe it didn’t fire because I truly didn’t want to hurt you. Can’t say.” Buffy thought about this new information. He can bite me! But even though he was injured and starving, he didn’t drain me. Why? She couldn’t understand it, but added this fact to the list of things to consider later.
Spike stood up to throw some wood on the fire. Buffy noticed how slowly he was moving, favoring his side. “You’re hurt pretty bad,” she observed.
“It’s mending,” replied Spike. “It will probably mend itself during the night if I can get to sleep. Collarbone is already a lot better, and I think the internal bleeding stopped. Slayer blood is potent stuff.”
“Not sure if I should be glad that I’m yummy or not,” said Buffy. She rubbed her hand thoughtfully over her protruding belly. “Not sure what I’m going to do about this either.”
Spike stopped puttering about the fire and came back over to her side. Kneeling down, he took her hands in his – just as he had done when she returned from the grave. He winced slightly at her missing finger, but stroked her knuckles with his thumbs and looked her in the eyes. “Listen to me, Buffy. I’m going to get you back home. Until I do, I am going to keep you safe. When we get home, we will find a way to get this thing out of you, understand?” Buffy looked deeply into his clear blue eyes. He meant every word that he said. She knew that if anyone could keep such an impossible promise, it would be him.
“Thank you, Spike,” she whispered again for the second time in ten minutes. They held each others’ gaze for a few minutes longer. Then Spike shook himself, let go of her hands, and found a spot to lie down. “I need to rest for a while, pet,” he explained.
Buffy was also tired, from the blood loss and the shock. “Spike?” she asked, shyly. “Can I… can you hold me? While I sleep?” She was shaken, and desperate for some human contact, or at least a close approximation.
Spike beckoned her over with a gentle smile. She lay with her back to him and he nestled up behind her, wrapping his arm protectively over her enormous belly. Thus entwined, they fell asleep.
TBC
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*******
Spike awoke the next morning to find that, as predicted, his ribs were mostly healed. He was still sore, bruised, and not exactly ready to run a marathon, but he could move without wincing. He got up carefully, so as to not wake Buffy, and went out to find water and another toad to cook. Buffy awoke to the not altogether pleasant smell of roasting toad and wrinkled her nose. “What in the name of all that is holy is that?” she inquired.
“It’s about all there is for a human to eat around here,” Spike answered. “It tastes like chicken, but it isn’t particularly attractive to look at, I’ll grant you. However, you’ve been eating it for a week now, so I guess it won’t kill you.”
Buffy sat up and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “What is on the agenda for today? Well, besides toad a la mode. ”
“Well,” Spike began, as he started peeling the skin off the toad, “After we eat, I want to go do some more hunting for the amulet. Sooner we find that thing, the better. Other than that, I don’t have any grand plans.”
“What does this amulet do?” Buffy took the proffered meat, sniffed it experimentally, then tasted it carefully. He’s right, it does taste like chicken. She shrugged and dug in. She was so hungry she probably would have eaten it if it tasted like shoes.
“It opens an interdimensional portal back to our world,” Spike explained. “Willow cooked up the spell. She sent me here, but they didn’t want to leave an open portal hanging there for the nasties to go through. The theory was I find you, say the spell, and pop right back.”
“What happened?” Buffy asked with her mouth full.
“It all went ok at first, I guess. Landed in an area with some rocks to hide behind. Oh yeah, I should mention that the sun here doesn’t seem to fry me. Which is good, since I landed in broad daylight.”
Buffy nearly choked. “The hell? Your rescue could have been over before it began!”
Spike nodded saying, “Yeah, don’t remind me. Anyhow, I snuck in, and found you, but you were completely out of it. Before I could say the spell, one of those demons came in. I killed it, but I figured we shouldn’t hang around there. I got you out of the fortress, but then the game was up and I had to run for it. I guess the amulet got caught on a branch or something in the woods.”
In a quiet, slightly hurt voice, Buffy asked, “Why did it take you so long to come for me?”
“It only took eight days our time, love,” he answered softly. “We didn’t know that time was running so much faster for you.”
“Only eight days??” Buffy sputtered. “What I went through… all that… only eight days of our time?” She shook her head again and again, not quite able to grasp what had happened. “Spike, it was…“ She couldn’t seem to find the words. She shuddered and curled up again, shivering.
“It’s okay, pet,” said Spike gently. “If you don’t want to talk about it… “ Spike touched her shoulder gently, hoping to keep her grounded, keep her here with him. He was so afraid she would disappear inside her head again.
“I need to,” Buffy interrupted. Her eyes filled with tears again, but she somehow found her voice. “I don’t… I don’t think I could ever tell the others. But I need to tell someone. I can’t… can’t bear this alone. I need someone to understand.” She looked him in the eyes then, quietly begging for that understanding.
Spike moved around behind her and gathered her into his arms, so her head could rest on his chest. He rested his cheek against her hair and quietly stroked her back. “I’m here, Buffy. I’m listening, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m listening.”
Buffy leaned gratefully against his chest, closed her eyes, and began, “When I got here, they threw me in a cell. I fought them tooth and nail every time they came near me. Eventually, one of them clubbed me good. I came to and found they had taken my clothes and chained me up to the wall in some temple or something. They left me there for a couple of days. They gave me water, but nothing else.” She paused in her tale, and frowned. “There were, obviously, no bathroom breaks.” She grimaced at the remembered humiliation.
“Shh, it’s alright, love,” Spike soothed. He was doing his best to remain neutral and supportive, but the details of her imprisonment made him want to cry or destroy something. If she hadn’t been depending on him, he would have gone straight in the main door of the fortress and ripped apart every demon he could find with his bare hands until they were dead or he was. As it was, he fought back his demon and waited.
She swallowed and continued, “After a few days of chanting and torches and I don’t know what else their king or ruler or whatever arrived. He… umm…“ She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Mated with you,” he said, quietly. She nodded, covered her face with her hands and buried herself in Spike’s chest for a few minutes. Spike held her, murmuring soothingly as he kept stroking her back.
Still half sobbing, Buffy took up her story again, “It took me a day or two to recover from that. It hurt so much – I can’t even describe it. I must have passed out in the middle, because when I woke up again I was back in the cell. I was still trying to fight at that point. I went after every guard who got too close. A couple weeks in, I almost escaped entirely.” She stopped again, shuddering.
“What happened?” Spike asked quietly. He was not entirely sure he wanted to know, but he recognized her need to get it out of her system.
“They took what looked like a sledgehammer to my leg,” Buffy said finally. “It… it was horrible. The pain was pretty indescribable. I tried to set it straight somehow.” She stretched out her leg and looked at the crooked, twisted shape of her left shin. Spike’s heart sank at the sight.
“It never really healed right,” Buffy continued. “Made further escape attempts pretty difficult – I can still hardly use it. They stepped up their efforts to put me in my place after that. They pretty much beat me every time they opened the door for a while. Another couple weeks and I realized I was pregnant. I tried to make myself miscarry, somehow. But they just chained me up and whipped me. Turns out you can whip the legs and arms of a pregnant person all you want, no problem,” she added bitterly. “I stopped eating after that.”
“Why was that, pet?” Spike inquired.
“I thought maybe if I starved myself that the… thing inside me would die,” Buffy answered. “After a few days of not eating, they gave me the choice of eating or losing something. I didn’t think I had anything to lose. That was when they cut off my finger,” she finished in a near whisper.
Tears welled up in Spike’s eyes at the thought. “Oh God, Slayer,” he murmured. He held her tighter and closed his eyes.
Tears started running anew down Buffy’s cheeks. “After that, I just checked out. The pain was so bad, and the fear. I just decided it was easier to not be there, you know? I just existed. I ate whatever they gave me, and just waited for whatever was to come. After a while, I just lost it, I guess. I don’t remember huge blocks of time. I’m not sure how long I drifted until you came. I thought you were another dream or hallucination or something.”
Spike was speechless for once. He didn’t know how to respond to all this at all. She wept, soaking his t-shirt, and he just held her, silently reassuring her with his presence. On her part, Buffy was once more grateful for this creature who would just listen. Not judge, not tell her what she should or shouldn’t do, but just hear what she said, and really understand it. She realized at that moment that she truly considered him a friend. Not a reformed enemy or occasional muscle but someone she could trust. She wasn’t sure where to go with this realization, but for the moment, it comforted her.
After a time, Buffy grew uncomfortable in her position and sat up. Spike wiped the tears off her cheek with his thumb. “I’m gonna go find some more wood, ok?” Spike said. They did need more wood, but he also just needed a bit of time to process all she had said. Buffy nodded, and leaned back against the wall. She felt exhausted all of a sudden.
Spike scanned the area carefully before leaving the cave and setting off into the now familiar woods. For what had to be the fifteenth time that day he craved a cigarette, but his pockets were still empty. The nicotine always calmed him down, and right now he was just inches away from losing it. Christ, what they did to her. His heart ached for the girl. He was beyond worried. He had to find that goddamn amulet. In the process of holding her he had felt the muscles tensing and a few early contractions rippling through her. She was probably only days away from giving birth to whatever was inside her. This birth could kill her, he realized with sickening certainty. He still vividly remembered the days when women had routinely died in childbirth. It had happened to a cousin of his – she had died bringing her third child into the world after an agonizing 2 days of labor. His cousin had been well fed and reasonably healthy, and had still died because the child was just too big. Buffy was such a little slip of a thing. The thing inside her had to be huge. How could she survive this? She might be the Slayer, but she had been starved and ill-used for months. If she hemorrhaged or needed a caesarian there was nothing at all he could do, except watch her die.
He cursed under his breath, collected a few more branches, and returned to the cave. Buffy had her eyes closed, but opened them and gave him a small smile when he came near. He built the fire up a bit, then said, ”I’m going amulet hunting. Will you be alright here?”
“I’ll be fine,” she said. “Go find that thing so I can get home and take a bath. I must look like a demon myself at this point.”
“Far from it, love,” Spike said warmly. Then he left to return to the search.
Buffy leaned against the wall and rubbed her stomach. The muscles kept tensing painfully from time to time. She forgot the name for those, but remembered some Lifetime channel show about pregnancy she had watched once. Some preliminary contractions that were a prelude to the main event. Buffy was much more worried than she let on. What is this thing in me? How am I going to get it out? How bad is this going to hurt? These questions and more kept running through her head in an endless loop.
She really wished Spike was back from his search. Part of her was still reluctant to rely on him.Relationships with vampires, not of the good, remember? But the larger part of her was grateful it was him who had come for her. Angel would have pitied her, treated her like a child. Xander would sputter and fuss, and in the end do nothing in particular to help. Willow would probably try to fix it with magic, again, and end up turning her into a toad or something. But Spike was truly there. He let her be upset without denying her ability to cope. He didn’t try to undermine or deny her strength, he reinforced it. He seemed to instinctively know what she best needed at the given moment, and tried his best to give it to her. Buffy thoughtfully ran her hand over her bulge again. If I survive this experience, I’m going to really need to figure out how I feel about him. Sighing, she closed her eyes and rested once more.
**********
Spike was gone for hours. By the time he finally returned, Buffy was near frantic with worry. “Where the hell have you been?” she asked in a tone both furious and relieved.
“Sorry to worry you,” Spike apologized. He bent to the task of roasting yet another toad for her to eat while he spoke. “I searched nearly all the way back to the fortress. Had to hide for a while from a patrol of demons near the edge of the woods.” It drove him out of his mind to have to stay hidden and not get into fights with the demons. He wanted to go out, fists and fangs flying, and tear these bastards limb from limb. But with Buffy depending on him, and with no source of blood, he was forced into an unaccustomed prudence.
“So no luck on the amulet thing?” Buffy sighed.
“No,” Spike sighed back. “I searched just about every inch of ground between here and there. I can’t find the bloody thing. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
“So what do we do?” Buffy fought to keep the panic out of her voice, but Spike could sense it in her heartbeat. He moved over next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder again. Buffy found to her surprise that she was really beginning to like the comfort his arms gave her. Item number 25 on my list of things to ponder later.
“Not sure, pet,” Spike responded truthfully. “Right now I’m hoping that Willow will think something is wrong and find a way to open a portal where we are, or where you are at least.”
“What do you mean?” Buffy was puzzled.
Spike looked her in the eyes. “I mean that if I am outside, and you see a big shimmering doorway, you need to go through it immediately, do you hear? Don’t wait for me or hesitate for an instant. Just get the hell out of here.”
“And leave you here?” Buffy asked, astonished. “I couldn’t leave you in this place!”
“You can and you will if you need to, you stubborn bint,” Spike barked, making her jump a bit at the harshness of his voice. “Dawn and the others need you. I’m expendable.”
“Not to me you’re not!” Buffy snapped back. Spike’s eyes widened – what was the girl on about? Buffy went on, “Since my friends pulled me out of heaven you are the only person I feel I can actually talk to. I would still be catatonic, or dead if you hadn’t come for me. You took care of Dawn all summer – I know you did. I don’t know why you do all this for me, but I can’t… “ She faltered. She just didn’t know what she was feeling or how to voice it. “I don’t know what we are Spike. Friends? Battle buddies? But I do know that the idea of going back without you is just not something I want to think about, ok?”
Spike was stunned. In her roundabout rambling way, Buffy had just admitted that he meant something to her. Don’t fuck this up, Spike, he thought to himself. He ran his hand through her tangled hair tenderly. “Buffy,” he began, “You’re the best thing I’ve ever encountered in 120 years on this planet. I’ll never leave you if I have any choice in the matter. But I won’t have you putting yourself at risk for me. Besides, I know that you would find a way to bring me back. Nothing stops you from doing what you want. You just have to keep yourself alive, alright?”
Buffy bit her lip while she mulled over his words. Finally she said, “Ok, I guess I will put on my own oxygen mask before assisting others. But don’t you ever call yourself expendable again, do you hear me?” She fixed him with the Resolve Face to end all Resolve Faces.
“Yes ma’am,” Spike replied meekly. She smiled a little at that. The smile turned into a grimace as her body tensed again.
“You ok, Slayer?” he asked, noticing her discomfort.
“Yeah, just keep getting all these muscle cramps and stuff,” Buffy admitted. “I’m more than a little nervous about the whole labor and birth thing.” Especially given that I am not sure what is exactly growing in there.
“’S not something I have a lot of experience in either,” Spike replied. “Guess we’ll just have to figure it out when the time comes if we’re still here.”
“Not much else we can do,” sighed Buffy. Spike leaned over to test the doneness of the roasting meat. He busied himself with skinning it for a while, then handed the edible bits over to the Slayer. “If I EVER complain about something someone serves me back home, you have my permission to kick my ass all over Sunnydale,” Buffy added as she eyed what constituted dinner.
“I might take you up on that,” Spike replied. “Although I wouldn’t turn down a pizza myself at the moment. Or a pizza delivery man, truth be told.”
Buffy looked at him searchingly. “How are you doing, hunger wise? You’ve been going without for quite a while.”
“I’m surviving,” said Spike, shrugging slightly. “The broken bones have healed at least. Still wouldn’t want to take on a horde of those demon guys right now.”
Buffy finished her dinner in silence, while Spike cleaned up the bones and wiped off his pocketknife. When he sat back down next to her, Buffy hesitated for a moment, then offered Spike her wrist. “Spike, if you’re hungry, drink.”
Spike backed away a bit. “Buffy, no, I can’t,” he pleaded. “I don’t want to hurt you. I feel bad about having done it before but I was so desperate… “
“Don’t be an ass,” Buffy interrupted. “I need you strong. I know you won’t take a lot – you said yourself it was pretty potent. But I need you to be at full capacity, or as close as possible. Please.” She held her arm out again.
Spike was astounded. The Slayer, his Slayer, was freely offering her blood. Spike took her wrist and rubbed it gently, sending an electric current running up her arm to her very core. How can he make a simple touch feel so good? she wondered. He vamped out and delicately sank his fangs into her wrist.
She had expected pain, but other than a small prick, it didn’t hurt at all. She shuddered involuntarily at the heat that flushed through her body at his touch. If being bitten by a vampire always felt that good people would be throwing themselves in front of vamps left and right, she decided. She also marveled at how readily he accepted her gift. Angel had to be nearly beaten senseless before he would take a drink to save his life, and then he nearly drained her. Spike agreed with her reasoning, and kept in complete control the whole time. She was intrigued by this creature.
He took three pulls as before, then tenderly licked the wounds shut. “Thank you, love,” Spike whispered. He kissed the back of her hand in a gentlemanly fashion, tenderly pressing his lips to her mangled finger. “Quite a treat, you are.”
“As long as you don’t go on a major binge, just let me know when you need some,” said Buffy. She released his hand then and reached for the flask for a drink. Spike didn’t know what had just happened, but something seemed different between them. They were partners in this. Freely giving and accepting each other’s help, without suspecting ulterior motives and without any hidden plans. It felt like the first time they had really looked at each other with complete honesty. He regarded her for a few long moments as she drained the flask, then shook his head. Not the time and place to work this out.
“Feel like getting a bit of kip, Slayer?” he asked.
“Yeah,” yawned Buffy. “This… parasite seems to suck all my energy.” She lay down on her side, and Spike spooned up behind her.
“Is this alright, love?” he inquired. He was a bit afraid she would say no.
“Feels nice,” she mumbled. Within a minute or two she was asleep. Spike listened to her breathing and her heartbeat as he lay there. Don’t know if there is anyone out there who listens to the prayers of vampires, but please, let her live, he prayed silently. Don’t want to lose her again. Don’t think I could survive that again. Please let her live. He felt the movements of the demon within her, and it kept him awake with fear and worry for a very long time.
TBC
You reviewers rock my world! Thank you!
*******
Spike awoke the next morning to find that, as predicted, his ribs were mostly healed. He was still sore, bruised, and not exactly ready to run a marathon, but he could move without wincing. He got up carefully, so as to not wake Buffy, and went out to find water and another toad to cook. Buffy awoke to the not altogether pleasant smell of roasting toad and wrinkled her nose. “What in the name of all that is holy is that?” she inquired.
“It’s about all there is for a human to eat around here,” Spike answered. “It tastes like chicken, but it isn’t particularly attractive to look at, I’ll grant you. However, you’ve been eating it for a week now, so I guess it won’t kill you.”
Buffy sat up and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “What is on the agenda for today? Well, besides toad a la mode. ”
“Well,” Spike began, as he started peeling the skin off the toad, “After we eat, I want to go do some more hunting for the amulet. Sooner we find that thing, the better. Other than that, I don’t have any grand plans.”
“What does this amulet do?” Buffy took the proffered meat, sniffed it experimentally, then tasted it carefully. He’s right, it does taste like chicken. She shrugged and dug in. She was so hungry she probably would have eaten it if it tasted like shoes.
“It opens an interdimensional portal back to our world,” Spike explained. “Willow cooked up the spell. She sent me here, but they didn’t want to leave an open portal hanging there for the nasties to go through. The theory was I find you, say the spell, and pop right back.”
“What happened?” Buffy asked with her mouth full.
“It all went ok at first, I guess. Landed in an area with some rocks to hide behind. Oh yeah, I should mention that the sun here doesn’t seem to fry me. Which is good, since I landed in broad daylight.”
Buffy nearly choked. “The hell? Your rescue could have been over before it began!”
Spike nodded saying, “Yeah, don’t remind me. Anyhow, I snuck in, and found you, but you were completely out of it. Before I could say the spell, one of those demons came in. I killed it, but I figured we shouldn’t hang around there. I got you out of the fortress, but then the game was up and I had to run for it. I guess the amulet got caught on a branch or something in the woods.”
In a quiet, slightly hurt voice, Buffy asked, “Why did it take you so long to come for me?”
“It only took eight days our time, love,” he answered softly. “We didn’t know that time was running so much faster for you.”
“Only eight days??” Buffy sputtered. “What I went through… all that… only eight days of our time?” She shook her head again and again, not quite able to grasp what had happened. “Spike, it was…“ She couldn’t seem to find the words. She shuddered and curled up again, shivering.
“It’s okay, pet,” said Spike gently. “If you don’t want to talk about it… “ Spike touched her shoulder gently, hoping to keep her grounded, keep her here with him. He was so afraid she would disappear inside her head again.
“I need to,” Buffy interrupted. Her eyes filled with tears again, but she somehow found her voice. “I don’t… I don’t think I could ever tell the others. But I need to tell someone. I can’t… can’t bear this alone. I need someone to understand.” She looked him in the eyes then, quietly begging for that understanding.
Spike moved around behind her and gathered her into his arms, so her head could rest on his chest. He rested his cheek against her hair and quietly stroked her back. “I’m here, Buffy. I’m listening, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m listening.”
Buffy leaned gratefully against his chest, closed her eyes, and began, “When I got here, they threw me in a cell. I fought them tooth and nail every time they came near me. Eventually, one of them clubbed me good. I came to and found they had taken my clothes and chained me up to the wall in some temple or something. They left me there for a couple of days. They gave me water, but nothing else.” She paused in her tale, and frowned. “There were, obviously, no bathroom breaks.” She grimaced at the remembered humiliation.
“Shh, it’s alright, love,” Spike soothed. He was doing his best to remain neutral and supportive, but the details of her imprisonment made him want to cry or destroy something. If she hadn’t been depending on him, he would have gone straight in the main door of the fortress and ripped apart every demon he could find with his bare hands until they were dead or he was. As it was, he fought back his demon and waited.
She swallowed and continued, “After a few days of chanting and torches and I don’t know what else their king or ruler or whatever arrived. He… umm…“ She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Mated with you,” he said, quietly. She nodded, covered her face with her hands and buried herself in Spike’s chest for a few minutes. Spike held her, murmuring soothingly as he kept stroking her back.
Still half sobbing, Buffy took up her story again, “It took me a day or two to recover from that. It hurt so much – I can’t even describe it. I must have passed out in the middle, because when I woke up again I was back in the cell. I was still trying to fight at that point. I went after every guard who got too close. A couple weeks in, I almost escaped entirely.” She stopped again, shuddering.
“What happened?” Spike asked quietly. He was not entirely sure he wanted to know, but he recognized her need to get it out of her system.
“They took what looked like a sledgehammer to my leg,” Buffy said finally. “It… it was horrible. The pain was pretty indescribable. I tried to set it straight somehow.” She stretched out her leg and looked at the crooked, twisted shape of her left shin. Spike’s heart sank at the sight.
“It never really healed right,” Buffy continued. “Made further escape attempts pretty difficult – I can still hardly use it. They stepped up their efforts to put me in my place after that. They pretty much beat me every time they opened the door for a while. Another couple weeks and I realized I was pregnant. I tried to make myself miscarry, somehow. But they just chained me up and whipped me. Turns out you can whip the legs and arms of a pregnant person all you want, no problem,” she added bitterly. “I stopped eating after that.”
“Why was that, pet?” Spike inquired.
“I thought maybe if I starved myself that the… thing inside me would die,” Buffy answered. “After a few days of not eating, they gave me the choice of eating or losing something. I didn’t think I had anything to lose. That was when they cut off my finger,” she finished in a near whisper.
Tears welled up in Spike’s eyes at the thought. “Oh God, Slayer,” he murmured. He held her tighter and closed his eyes.
Tears started running anew down Buffy’s cheeks. “After that, I just checked out. The pain was so bad, and the fear. I just decided it was easier to not be there, you know? I just existed. I ate whatever they gave me, and just waited for whatever was to come. After a while, I just lost it, I guess. I don’t remember huge blocks of time. I’m not sure how long I drifted until you came. I thought you were another dream or hallucination or something.”
Spike was speechless for once. He didn’t know how to respond to all this at all. She wept, soaking his t-shirt, and he just held her, silently reassuring her with his presence. On her part, Buffy was once more grateful for this creature who would just listen. Not judge, not tell her what she should or shouldn’t do, but just hear what she said, and really understand it. She realized at that moment that she truly considered him a friend. Not a reformed enemy or occasional muscle but someone she could trust. She wasn’t sure where to go with this realization, but for the moment, it comforted her.
After a time, Buffy grew uncomfortable in her position and sat up. Spike wiped the tears off her cheek with his thumb. “I’m gonna go find some more wood, ok?” Spike said. They did need more wood, but he also just needed a bit of time to process all she had said. Buffy nodded, and leaned back against the wall. She felt exhausted all of a sudden.
Spike scanned the area carefully before leaving the cave and setting off into the now familiar woods. For what had to be the fifteenth time that day he craved a cigarette, but his pockets were still empty. The nicotine always calmed him down, and right now he was just inches away from losing it. Christ, what they did to her. His heart ached for the girl. He was beyond worried. He had to find that goddamn amulet. In the process of holding her he had felt the muscles tensing and a few early contractions rippling through her. She was probably only days away from giving birth to whatever was inside her. This birth could kill her, he realized with sickening certainty. He still vividly remembered the days when women had routinely died in childbirth. It had happened to a cousin of his – she had died bringing her third child into the world after an agonizing 2 days of labor. His cousin had been well fed and reasonably healthy, and had still died because the child was just too big. Buffy was such a little slip of a thing. The thing inside her had to be huge. How could she survive this? She might be the Slayer, but she had been starved and ill-used for months. If she hemorrhaged or needed a caesarian there was nothing at all he could do, except watch her die.
He cursed under his breath, collected a few more branches, and returned to the cave. Buffy had her eyes closed, but opened them and gave him a small smile when he came near. He built the fire up a bit, then said, ”I’m going amulet hunting. Will you be alright here?”
“I’ll be fine,” she said. “Go find that thing so I can get home and take a bath. I must look like a demon myself at this point.”
“Far from it, love,” Spike said warmly. Then he left to return to the search.
Buffy leaned against the wall and rubbed her stomach. The muscles kept tensing painfully from time to time. She forgot the name for those, but remembered some Lifetime channel show about pregnancy she had watched once. Some preliminary contractions that were a prelude to the main event. Buffy was much more worried than she let on. What is this thing in me? How am I going to get it out? How bad is this going to hurt? These questions and more kept running through her head in an endless loop.
She really wished Spike was back from his search. Part of her was still reluctant to rely on him.Relationships with vampires, not of the good, remember? But the larger part of her was grateful it was him who had come for her. Angel would have pitied her, treated her like a child. Xander would sputter and fuss, and in the end do nothing in particular to help. Willow would probably try to fix it with magic, again, and end up turning her into a toad or something. But Spike was truly there. He let her be upset without denying her ability to cope. He didn’t try to undermine or deny her strength, he reinforced it. He seemed to instinctively know what she best needed at the given moment, and tried his best to give it to her. Buffy thoughtfully ran her hand over her bulge again. If I survive this experience, I’m going to really need to figure out how I feel about him. Sighing, she closed her eyes and rested once more.
**********
Spike was gone for hours. By the time he finally returned, Buffy was near frantic with worry. “Where the hell have you been?” she asked in a tone both furious and relieved.
“Sorry to worry you,” Spike apologized. He bent to the task of roasting yet another toad for her to eat while he spoke. “I searched nearly all the way back to the fortress. Had to hide for a while from a patrol of demons near the edge of the woods.” It drove him out of his mind to have to stay hidden and not get into fights with the demons. He wanted to go out, fists and fangs flying, and tear these bastards limb from limb. But with Buffy depending on him, and with no source of blood, he was forced into an unaccustomed prudence.
“So no luck on the amulet thing?” Buffy sighed.
“No,” Spike sighed back. “I searched just about every inch of ground between here and there. I can’t find the bloody thing. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
“So what do we do?” Buffy fought to keep the panic out of her voice, but Spike could sense it in her heartbeat. He moved over next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder again. Buffy found to her surprise that she was really beginning to like the comfort his arms gave her. Item number 25 on my list of things to ponder later.
“Not sure, pet,” Spike responded truthfully. “Right now I’m hoping that Willow will think something is wrong and find a way to open a portal where we are, or where you are at least.”
“What do you mean?” Buffy was puzzled.
Spike looked her in the eyes. “I mean that if I am outside, and you see a big shimmering doorway, you need to go through it immediately, do you hear? Don’t wait for me or hesitate for an instant. Just get the hell out of here.”
“And leave you here?” Buffy asked, astonished. “I couldn’t leave you in this place!”
“You can and you will if you need to, you stubborn bint,” Spike barked, making her jump a bit at the harshness of his voice. “Dawn and the others need you. I’m expendable.”
“Not to me you’re not!” Buffy snapped back. Spike’s eyes widened – what was the girl on about? Buffy went on, “Since my friends pulled me out of heaven you are the only person I feel I can actually talk to. I would still be catatonic, or dead if you hadn’t come for me. You took care of Dawn all summer – I know you did. I don’t know why you do all this for me, but I can’t… “ She faltered. She just didn’t know what she was feeling or how to voice it. “I don’t know what we are Spike. Friends? Battle buddies? But I do know that the idea of going back without you is just not something I want to think about, ok?”
Spike was stunned. In her roundabout rambling way, Buffy had just admitted that he meant something to her. Don’t fuck this up, Spike, he thought to himself. He ran his hand through her tangled hair tenderly. “Buffy,” he began, “You’re the best thing I’ve ever encountered in 120 years on this planet. I’ll never leave you if I have any choice in the matter. But I won’t have you putting yourself at risk for me. Besides, I know that you would find a way to bring me back. Nothing stops you from doing what you want. You just have to keep yourself alive, alright?”
Buffy bit her lip while she mulled over his words. Finally she said, “Ok, I guess I will put on my own oxygen mask before assisting others. But don’t you ever call yourself expendable again, do you hear me?” She fixed him with the Resolve Face to end all Resolve Faces.
“Yes ma’am,” Spike replied meekly. She smiled a little at that. The smile turned into a grimace as her body tensed again.
“You ok, Slayer?” he asked, noticing her discomfort.
“Yeah, just keep getting all these muscle cramps and stuff,” Buffy admitted. “I’m more than a little nervous about the whole labor and birth thing.” Especially given that I am not sure what is exactly growing in there.
“’S not something I have a lot of experience in either,” Spike replied. “Guess we’ll just have to figure it out when the time comes if we’re still here.”
“Not much else we can do,” sighed Buffy. Spike leaned over to test the doneness of the roasting meat. He busied himself with skinning it for a while, then handed the edible bits over to the Slayer. “If I EVER complain about something someone serves me back home, you have my permission to kick my ass all over Sunnydale,” Buffy added as she eyed what constituted dinner.
“I might take you up on that,” Spike replied. “Although I wouldn’t turn down a pizza myself at the moment. Or a pizza delivery man, truth be told.”
Buffy looked at him searchingly. “How are you doing, hunger wise? You’ve been going without for quite a while.”
“I’m surviving,” said Spike, shrugging slightly. “The broken bones have healed at least. Still wouldn’t want to take on a horde of those demon guys right now.”
Buffy finished her dinner in silence, while Spike cleaned up the bones and wiped off his pocketknife. When he sat back down next to her, Buffy hesitated for a moment, then offered Spike her wrist. “Spike, if you’re hungry, drink.”
Spike backed away a bit. “Buffy, no, I can’t,” he pleaded. “I don’t want to hurt you. I feel bad about having done it before but I was so desperate… “
“Don’t be an ass,” Buffy interrupted. “I need you strong. I know you won’t take a lot – you said yourself it was pretty potent. But I need you to be at full capacity, or as close as possible. Please.” She held her arm out again.
Spike was astounded. The Slayer, his Slayer, was freely offering her blood. Spike took her wrist and rubbed it gently, sending an electric current running up her arm to her very core. How can he make a simple touch feel so good? she wondered. He vamped out and delicately sank his fangs into her wrist.
She had expected pain, but other than a small prick, it didn’t hurt at all. She shuddered involuntarily at the heat that flushed through her body at his touch. If being bitten by a vampire always felt that good people would be throwing themselves in front of vamps left and right, she decided. She also marveled at how readily he accepted her gift. Angel had to be nearly beaten senseless before he would take a drink to save his life, and then he nearly drained her. Spike agreed with her reasoning, and kept in complete control the whole time. She was intrigued by this creature.
He took three pulls as before, then tenderly licked the wounds shut. “Thank you, love,” Spike whispered. He kissed the back of her hand in a gentlemanly fashion, tenderly pressing his lips to her mangled finger. “Quite a treat, you are.”
“As long as you don’t go on a major binge, just let me know when you need some,” said Buffy. She released his hand then and reached for the flask for a drink. Spike didn’t know what had just happened, but something seemed different between them. They were partners in this. Freely giving and accepting each other’s help, without suspecting ulterior motives and without any hidden plans. It felt like the first time they had really looked at each other with complete honesty. He regarded her for a few long moments as she drained the flask, then shook his head. Not the time and place to work this out.
“Feel like getting a bit of kip, Slayer?” he asked.
“Yeah,” yawned Buffy. “This… parasite seems to suck all my energy.” She lay down on her side, and Spike spooned up behind her.
“Is this alright, love?” he inquired. He was a bit afraid she would say no.
“Feels nice,” she mumbled. Within a minute or two she was asleep. Spike listened to her breathing and her heartbeat as he lay there. Don’t know if there is anyone out there who listens to the prayers of vampires, but please, let her live, he prayed silently. Don’t want to lose her again. Don’t think I could survive that again. Please let her live. He felt the movements of the demon within her, and it kept him awake with fear and worry for a very long time.
TBC
Arrivals and Departures
Disclaimer: The cool characters are all Joss Whedon’s
But the amazing reviewers belong to the BSV! Thanks so much
***********
A sharp pain woke Buffy up after a couple hours. Damn! Another contraction, I guess. Getting worse though. She realized that Spike’s arm was no longer around her. She panicked for a moment, but turned over to see he was right there beside her. He had rolled over in his sleep, and lay there unmoving. He really did look dead when he slept, but he was at least an attractive corpse.
Buffy lay there watching him sleep. What’s happening to me? She was getting used to his arms around her. He was the only thing that made her feel safe in this alien place. But why him? He’s a soulless vampire. Why is he so nice to me? Then, unbidden, the answer echoed in her brain. He loves you. You know he loves you. Said as much many times. She gently reached out and put her hand on his unmoving chest. He remained asleep, but turned his head toward her. The idea of this man loving her without looking for much in return humbled her. Why did you stay? My friends treat you like crap. I go back and forth between dumping on you and pushing you away. She didn’t know what to think.
Another contraction made her wince and grind her teeth. Damn Willow anyway for dragging me back here for this, she thought bitterly. She knew Willow was acting under the assumption that she had saved Buffy from some fate worse than death. But at the moment, she needed someone to be pissed at. I was so happy. Why couldn’t they just learn to deal without me? A few tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. There was another thing she couldn’t figure out about Spike. Clearly he cared about her. His reaction when she had come back was like someone witnessing a miracle. But he hadn’t participated in the spell to drag her back. He would have refused them if they had bothered to consult him. He hadn’t wanted her to suffer more just so he could feel better. The friends who brought her back couldn’t deal with her coming back different. They expected her to return to exactly the way they remembered her, and to thank them for the privilege of being dragged out of heaven. But Spike just took her as she was. She looked over at him again, his blond hair in rumpled curls across his forehead. Going to have to figure this out someday. For now, he was her lifeline, and she lay watching him as she waited for the next contraction.
********
Spike had no idea how long he was asleep when he was awoken by a moan. The fire had burned down to embers, and the cave was almost pitch dark. He sat up, vamping out so he could see better. “Buffy? You alright?”
Buffy was struggling to sit up, and clutching her belly. “No. I… I think my water broke.”
Spike’s senses told him that she was right. Damn, damn, damn. She was in labor. They were in for it now. Even if he had any hope of finding the amulet, he couldn’t leave her to look for it in this state.
Spike took a deep breath. “Be right back, love,” he said. He went outside, quickly grabbed some more wood and refilled the flask with water, then hurried back. She was leaning against the wall, biting her lip as her body went through a contraction. Spike built up the fire to get more light, and shook off his gameface. Then he moved over to Buffy and, after a moment’s hesitation, placed his hand on her swollen body. “How close are the contractions?” he asked.
Buffy shook her head. “Not sure. Five or ten minutes apart? They’ve been going on for a while now” She shifted to make herself more comfortable.
“Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” he asked, rather sharply. She jumped a bit, and he instantly felt guilty. He handed her the water bottle, then apologized, “Sorry. Just worried, love.”
Buffy handed the bottle back and said, “I didn’t think there was anything in particular you could do.”
Spike sighed, “I know. Not exactly trained in this, I’m afraid.” Pregnancy had been scarcely discussed among Victorian gentlemen, and since his turning pregnant women had been just another meal. It was always something the women were supposed to handle.
“Probably wasn’t in the vampire handbook,” Buffy replied. After a moment of thought she asked, “What did you learn about these demons anyhow? I know there had to be some research before the rescue. There’s research before breakfast for God’s sake.”
Spike hesitated, not sure if she really needed to hear the details, or why she wanted to know now. But in the end he said, “They have no females. That’s why they use other hosts to bear their young. Only the elite are allowed human hosts. They… um… “
“What? Just tell me.”
Spike swallowed. “Usually they sacrifice the mother to feed the newborn. I guess the spawn come equipped with teeth and everything.”
Buffy cursed through another contraction. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to watch out for its teeth when it arrives.” Her forehead had broken out in a sweat.
Spike used his bandana to wipe her face. He took her hand and said, “You need something to squeeze, I’m right here. You know I can take it.”
“I can’t imagine what a slayer would do to a human labor coach,” Buffy panted. In between contractions she didn’t feel too terrible, but when they hit it was like someone putting her entire body in a vise. “I guess there’s no chance you have any drugs in your pockets, huh?”
“Sorry, pet,” Spike answered. He wished he had something, anything that would help her. He wanted to punch the walls in frustration, but he realized this would not help the situation. “Would rubbing your back help any?” he asked.
“Might,” Buffy answered. She shifted away from the wall. Spike moved around behind her and massaged her lower back. She cried out again, and he held her for a moment until the contraction subsided. She closed her eyes and panted, leaning back against him. “Spike, I’m afraid,” she whispered.
He knew how that admission had cost her. For Buffy to admit anything like fear, need, or vulnerability was almost unthinkable. It was why she hadn’t been able to tell her friends she was in heaven, why she kept coming to his crypt with lame excuses. He cradled her, still wrapped in his shirt and duster, and said, “’S alright, Buffy. You never have to hide anything with me, pet. I know it bugs you to hear it, but I love you, and I always will, no matter what.”
“Doesn’t bug me so much right now,” said Buffy, so quietly that only a vampire could have heard it. Their eyes locked for a long minute. Then she doubled over again in agony.
It went on for hours. Even Angelus at his worst couldn’t deal out pain like this, he thought at one point. She was crushing Spike’s hand with every contraction. If he had been a human, he would have ended up in a cast by the end. Even with his vampire strength he winced a few times.
After a particularly long contraction, Buffy nearly collapsed against Spike, panting. “Don’t forget to breathe, Slayer,” he said patiently.
“Thanks, never would have thought of that,” growled Buffy. Spike wondered at this girl. Even in agony she had a smart mouth. After the pain had subsided somewhat, Buffy spoke up again in a quieter voice. “Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“If…,” she began. She didn’t want to offend him, but she had a question she needed the answer to. “Are you going to try to turn me if I’m not going to make it?” Her eyes were serious and slightly nervous looking.
Spike shook his head gently. “I’d never do that to you, Buffy. Not even if you begged me.”
“Why not?” she wondered. “Not that I would want to be a vampire, no offense…”
“None taken, love,” Spike reassured her.
“But you could keep me around forever if you wanted to. It’s in your power. So why wouldn’t you?“ Her friends had done everything and more to keep her in the world. He could keep her with him forever, but he said no. She didn’t get it.
“I love you because of who you are,” he said as he rubbed her back some more. “When people get turned, they sometimes turn into someone else. If I turned you I could lose you just as completely as when you fell off that tower. ‘Sides, you don’t deserve that. If anything you deserve to go back to that warm place you told me about.” His voice was pained at the thought of losing her again. But he meant what he said – she could see that.
She groaned through another contraction while she mulled that over. When she caught her breath again, she asked, “How do you know I would come back so different?”
Spike closed his eyes for a moment and said, “I turned my mother.” Buffy looked at him sharply, her jaw dropping slightly. “She was dying of consumption – tuberculosis. I thought I could save her. But she wasn’t my mother any more after that. Ended up having to dust her. Won’t go through that again with someone I love.” His voice trailed off at the end, and he avoided her gaze for a while.
“I understand, Spike,” Buffy said at last. He’s the only one selfless enough to let me go.
Looking into her eyes, Spike saw that she was telling the truth – she did understand. He fought back the grief tearing at him. Stay strong, William. She’s still here, she’s not gone yet, and you’re going to make sure she stays this time. He pushed aside his emotions and supported Buffy as she suffered through another intense bout of pain.
The contractions started coming harder and faster, until Buffy felt she could barely get a breath in between them. The pain was incredible. She felt the thing shifting somehow as the contractions grew more and more intense. “Spike,” she panted, “Something’s happening. Can… can you see…” She turned her head away, embarrassed, even in her torment. She was asking Spike to look at parts of her body that only three men had ever been near.
Spike felt a deep stab of pity as he realized how mortified she was to have to ask him to help her in this way. Taking a deep breath, he moved down between her legs and gently pulled his duster out of the way. “Gonna touch you, ok?” he asked, looking up at her red, sweaty face. Buffy nodded weakly, then closed her eyes. Spike put his palm on her sex and pressed gently. He could feel the head of the demon’s child – it was nearly there. “Almost there, love. A few more good pushes and it should be out. Come on, Buffy. You can do it,” he encouraged.
She screamed as the next contraction ripped through her. Then she ground her teeth together and bore down. Spike saw the pulsating gray top of the demon’s head nearly emerge, then pause. “One more Buffy!” he cried. Buffy propped herself up on her elbows and made one last herculean effort. Spike watched in fascination and horror as the head emerged, followed by a twisted looking gray body. “You did it Slayer!” Spike cheered as he caught the squirming little thing. It opened its mouth in a tiny growl, and Spike noticed that it had a full complement of tiny, sharp teeth.
Buffy fell back, utterly spent. For a moment, Spike panicked as he thought she had stopped breathing. But he heard her heartbeat – she was alive. She moaned again as the afterbirth followed in a pool of blood and fluids. God, I hope that’s normal, Spike worried. He broke the umbilical cord, as the infant demon flailed, growled, and snapped at the air. He laid it on the ground, far away from Buffy. What the hell do we do with it now? he wondered. Best to put it out of its misery quickly, I guess. As he looked around for a suitable rock to end the little creature’s life with, a weak voice behind him said, “Spike… don’t.”
He turned to look at her in astonishment. She couldn’t possibly be feeling maternal toward this thing, could she? Buffy opened her eyes with an effort and whispered, “If we kill it, they’ll just go back and find another host. Someone else will have to go through this. If they go back to Sunnydale, it could be someone we care about.”
“So what do we do then?” Spike asked, bewildered.
Buffy said nothing for a minute. Then she said, “Can you… take it and leave it at the edge of the forest? Near the fortress? They’ll find it there, and that should satisfy their king or whatever.”
Spike didn’t know what had gotten into the girl. But he understood her logic somewhat. Still, he was concerned. “Will you be ok here for a little while?” She was very pale, but Spike could hear that her breathing was going back to normal, and her heartbeat seemed regular enough.
Buffy nodded. “I just need to rest,” she said, and closed her eyes.
Spike eyed the baby demon for a moment. Then he took off his t-shirt. I’ll be starkers by the time this little adventure is over. He ripped a strip off the bottom of the shirt and used it to tie the little jaw shut. Infant or not, this thing had dangerous teeth. Then he used the rest of the shirt to swaddle the little bundle with the small but very sharp claws. This way he could concentrate on finding his way through the forest without the little demon lacerating him all the way. “I’ll be back as fast as I can,” he reassured Buffy. She half opened her eyes in response, then closed them again.
With one last worried glance, Spike dashed out of the cave. It was night time, but the moon was brighter tonight. He dashed through the stream, clutching the writhing little creature. When he got to the thicker part of the forest, he went more slowly, carefully picking his way through. He managed to get to the edge of the open plaza, crouching behind a thick bush. He had made his way to a point as far as possible from where he had first entered the forest with Buffy, hoping that his trail would not be picked up. In the shadows near the edge of the bush, he placed the creature on the ground. He pulled the strip of cloth off of its jaw, then quickly took off back to his usual path. Within minutes, the little creature started howling loudly. The guards at the gates jumped up, searching for the source of the noise. As they all converged on the spot where Spike had left the infant, he made his way back toward the stream.
He could barely see anything in that thick forest, but he looked up to get glimpses of the moon through the trees. He could smell his own scent, and he used that to help him track back to the cave. Then, right before he got to the place where he had jumped into the stream all those days ago, he noticed moonlight glinting off something in one of the tree branches. He stopped, and looked again. There, hanging on a branch at chest height, was the amulet. The leather had snapped, but it had hooked itself neatly onto a protruding limb, and there it was. He plucked it off the tree, astonished, and clutched in his hand almost hard enough to bring blood. You’re an idiot, William. Been looking on the ground for two weeks and it was hanging in a tree like a goddamn Christmas ornament. Realizing he had no time to waste, he quickly took off again through the stream.
He practically dived into the cave. “Buffy! You won’t believe it! I found…” He stopped short. The smell of blood hit him like a wave. Oh no… Buffy was where he had left her, but surrounded by a growing pool of blood. He heard her heart still beating, but it was weakening. He crossed to her and shook her gently, calling her name, but she didn’t respond.
With shaking hands he dug the paper with the chant out of his jeans. Clutching the amulet he spoke the words to the spell. As the wind blew and the portal started growing in front of him, he scooped up the limp body of the Slayer. Cradling her tightly, he whirled and leaped through the shimmering doorway.
TBC
But the amazing reviewers belong to the BSV! Thanks so much
***********
A sharp pain woke Buffy up after a couple hours. Damn! Another contraction, I guess. Getting worse though. She realized that Spike’s arm was no longer around her. She panicked for a moment, but turned over to see he was right there beside her. He had rolled over in his sleep, and lay there unmoving. He really did look dead when he slept, but he was at least an attractive corpse.
Buffy lay there watching him sleep. What’s happening to me? She was getting used to his arms around her. He was the only thing that made her feel safe in this alien place. But why him? He’s a soulless vampire. Why is he so nice to me? Then, unbidden, the answer echoed in her brain. He loves you. You know he loves you. Said as much many times. She gently reached out and put her hand on his unmoving chest. He remained asleep, but turned his head toward her. The idea of this man loving her without looking for much in return humbled her. Why did you stay? My friends treat you like crap. I go back and forth between dumping on you and pushing you away. She didn’t know what to think.
Another contraction made her wince and grind her teeth. Damn Willow anyway for dragging me back here for this, she thought bitterly. She knew Willow was acting under the assumption that she had saved Buffy from some fate worse than death. But at the moment, she needed someone to be pissed at. I was so happy. Why couldn’t they just learn to deal without me? A few tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. There was another thing she couldn’t figure out about Spike. Clearly he cared about her. His reaction when she had come back was like someone witnessing a miracle. But he hadn’t participated in the spell to drag her back. He would have refused them if they had bothered to consult him. He hadn’t wanted her to suffer more just so he could feel better. The friends who brought her back couldn’t deal with her coming back different. They expected her to return to exactly the way they remembered her, and to thank them for the privilege of being dragged out of heaven. But Spike just took her as she was. She looked over at him again, his blond hair in rumpled curls across his forehead. Going to have to figure this out someday. For now, he was her lifeline, and she lay watching him as she waited for the next contraction.
********
Spike had no idea how long he was asleep when he was awoken by a moan. The fire had burned down to embers, and the cave was almost pitch dark. He sat up, vamping out so he could see better. “Buffy? You alright?”
Buffy was struggling to sit up, and clutching her belly. “No. I… I think my water broke.”
Spike’s senses told him that she was right. Damn, damn, damn. She was in labor. They were in for it now. Even if he had any hope of finding the amulet, he couldn’t leave her to look for it in this state.
Spike took a deep breath. “Be right back, love,” he said. He went outside, quickly grabbed some more wood and refilled the flask with water, then hurried back. She was leaning against the wall, biting her lip as her body went through a contraction. Spike built up the fire to get more light, and shook off his gameface. Then he moved over to Buffy and, after a moment’s hesitation, placed his hand on her swollen body. “How close are the contractions?” he asked.
Buffy shook her head. “Not sure. Five or ten minutes apart? They’ve been going on for a while now” She shifted to make herself more comfortable.
“Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” he asked, rather sharply. She jumped a bit, and he instantly felt guilty. He handed her the water bottle, then apologized, “Sorry. Just worried, love.”
Buffy handed the bottle back and said, “I didn’t think there was anything in particular you could do.”
Spike sighed, “I know. Not exactly trained in this, I’m afraid.” Pregnancy had been scarcely discussed among Victorian gentlemen, and since his turning pregnant women had been just another meal. It was always something the women were supposed to handle.
“Probably wasn’t in the vampire handbook,” Buffy replied. After a moment of thought she asked, “What did you learn about these demons anyhow? I know there had to be some research before the rescue. There’s research before breakfast for God’s sake.”
Spike hesitated, not sure if she really needed to hear the details, or why she wanted to know now. But in the end he said, “They have no females. That’s why they use other hosts to bear their young. Only the elite are allowed human hosts. They… um… “
“What? Just tell me.”
Spike swallowed. “Usually they sacrifice the mother to feed the newborn. I guess the spawn come equipped with teeth and everything.”
Buffy cursed through another contraction. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to watch out for its teeth when it arrives.” Her forehead had broken out in a sweat.
Spike used his bandana to wipe her face. He took her hand and said, “You need something to squeeze, I’m right here. You know I can take it.”
“I can’t imagine what a slayer would do to a human labor coach,” Buffy panted. In between contractions she didn’t feel too terrible, but when they hit it was like someone putting her entire body in a vise. “I guess there’s no chance you have any drugs in your pockets, huh?”
“Sorry, pet,” Spike answered. He wished he had something, anything that would help her. He wanted to punch the walls in frustration, but he realized this would not help the situation. “Would rubbing your back help any?” he asked.
“Might,” Buffy answered. She shifted away from the wall. Spike moved around behind her and massaged her lower back. She cried out again, and he held her for a moment until the contraction subsided. She closed her eyes and panted, leaning back against him. “Spike, I’m afraid,” she whispered.
He knew how that admission had cost her. For Buffy to admit anything like fear, need, or vulnerability was almost unthinkable. It was why she hadn’t been able to tell her friends she was in heaven, why she kept coming to his crypt with lame excuses. He cradled her, still wrapped in his shirt and duster, and said, “’S alright, Buffy. You never have to hide anything with me, pet. I know it bugs you to hear it, but I love you, and I always will, no matter what.”
“Doesn’t bug me so much right now,” said Buffy, so quietly that only a vampire could have heard it. Their eyes locked for a long minute. Then she doubled over again in agony.
It went on for hours. Even Angelus at his worst couldn’t deal out pain like this, he thought at one point. She was crushing Spike’s hand with every contraction. If he had been a human, he would have ended up in a cast by the end. Even with his vampire strength he winced a few times.
After a particularly long contraction, Buffy nearly collapsed against Spike, panting. “Don’t forget to breathe, Slayer,” he said patiently.
“Thanks, never would have thought of that,” growled Buffy. Spike wondered at this girl. Even in agony she had a smart mouth. After the pain had subsided somewhat, Buffy spoke up again in a quieter voice. “Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“If…,” she began. She didn’t want to offend him, but she had a question she needed the answer to. “Are you going to try to turn me if I’m not going to make it?” Her eyes were serious and slightly nervous looking.
Spike shook his head gently. “I’d never do that to you, Buffy. Not even if you begged me.”
“Why not?” she wondered. “Not that I would want to be a vampire, no offense…”
“None taken, love,” Spike reassured her.
“But you could keep me around forever if you wanted to. It’s in your power. So why wouldn’t you?“ Her friends had done everything and more to keep her in the world. He could keep her with him forever, but he said no. She didn’t get it.
“I love you because of who you are,” he said as he rubbed her back some more. “When people get turned, they sometimes turn into someone else. If I turned you I could lose you just as completely as when you fell off that tower. ‘Sides, you don’t deserve that. If anything you deserve to go back to that warm place you told me about.” His voice was pained at the thought of losing her again. But he meant what he said – she could see that.
She groaned through another contraction while she mulled that over. When she caught her breath again, she asked, “How do you know I would come back so different?”
Spike closed his eyes for a moment and said, “I turned my mother.” Buffy looked at him sharply, her jaw dropping slightly. “She was dying of consumption – tuberculosis. I thought I could save her. But she wasn’t my mother any more after that. Ended up having to dust her. Won’t go through that again with someone I love.” His voice trailed off at the end, and he avoided her gaze for a while.
“I understand, Spike,” Buffy said at last. He’s the only one selfless enough to let me go.
Looking into her eyes, Spike saw that she was telling the truth – she did understand. He fought back the grief tearing at him. Stay strong, William. She’s still here, she’s not gone yet, and you’re going to make sure she stays this time. He pushed aside his emotions and supported Buffy as she suffered through another intense bout of pain.
The contractions started coming harder and faster, until Buffy felt she could barely get a breath in between them. The pain was incredible. She felt the thing shifting somehow as the contractions grew more and more intense. “Spike,” she panted, “Something’s happening. Can… can you see…” She turned her head away, embarrassed, even in her torment. She was asking Spike to look at parts of her body that only three men had ever been near.
Spike felt a deep stab of pity as he realized how mortified she was to have to ask him to help her in this way. Taking a deep breath, he moved down between her legs and gently pulled his duster out of the way. “Gonna touch you, ok?” he asked, looking up at her red, sweaty face. Buffy nodded weakly, then closed her eyes. Spike put his palm on her sex and pressed gently. He could feel the head of the demon’s child – it was nearly there. “Almost there, love. A few more good pushes and it should be out. Come on, Buffy. You can do it,” he encouraged.
She screamed as the next contraction ripped through her. Then she ground her teeth together and bore down. Spike saw the pulsating gray top of the demon’s head nearly emerge, then pause. “One more Buffy!” he cried. Buffy propped herself up on her elbows and made one last herculean effort. Spike watched in fascination and horror as the head emerged, followed by a twisted looking gray body. “You did it Slayer!” Spike cheered as he caught the squirming little thing. It opened its mouth in a tiny growl, and Spike noticed that it had a full complement of tiny, sharp teeth.
Buffy fell back, utterly spent. For a moment, Spike panicked as he thought she had stopped breathing. But he heard her heartbeat – she was alive. She moaned again as the afterbirth followed in a pool of blood and fluids. God, I hope that’s normal, Spike worried. He broke the umbilical cord, as the infant demon flailed, growled, and snapped at the air. He laid it on the ground, far away from Buffy. What the hell do we do with it now? he wondered. Best to put it out of its misery quickly, I guess. As he looked around for a suitable rock to end the little creature’s life with, a weak voice behind him said, “Spike… don’t.”
He turned to look at her in astonishment. She couldn’t possibly be feeling maternal toward this thing, could she? Buffy opened her eyes with an effort and whispered, “If we kill it, they’ll just go back and find another host. Someone else will have to go through this. If they go back to Sunnydale, it could be someone we care about.”
“So what do we do then?” Spike asked, bewildered.
Buffy said nothing for a minute. Then she said, “Can you… take it and leave it at the edge of the forest? Near the fortress? They’ll find it there, and that should satisfy their king or whatever.”
Spike didn’t know what had gotten into the girl. But he understood her logic somewhat. Still, he was concerned. “Will you be ok here for a little while?” She was very pale, but Spike could hear that her breathing was going back to normal, and her heartbeat seemed regular enough.
Buffy nodded. “I just need to rest,” she said, and closed her eyes.
Spike eyed the baby demon for a moment. Then he took off his t-shirt. I’ll be starkers by the time this little adventure is over. He ripped a strip off the bottom of the shirt and used it to tie the little jaw shut. Infant or not, this thing had dangerous teeth. Then he used the rest of the shirt to swaddle the little bundle with the small but very sharp claws. This way he could concentrate on finding his way through the forest without the little demon lacerating him all the way. “I’ll be back as fast as I can,” he reassured Buffy. She half opened her eyes in response, then closed them again.
With one last worried glance, Spike dashed out of the cave. It was night time, but the moon was brighter tonight. He dashed through the stream, clutching the writhing little creature. When he got to the thicker part of the forest, he went more slowly, carefully picking his way through. He managed to get to the edge of the open plaza, crouching behind a thick bush. He had made his way to a point as far as possible from where he had first entered the forest with Buffy, hoping that his trail would not be picked up. In the shadows near the edge of the bush, he placed the creature on the ground. He pulled the strip of cloth off of its jaw, then quickly took off back to his usual path. Within minutes, the little creature started howling loudly. The guards at the gates jumped up, searching for the source of the noise. As they all converged on the spot where Spike had left the infant, he made his way back toward the stream.
He could barely see anything in that thick forest, but he looked up to get glimpses of the moon through the trees. He could smell his own scent, and he used that to help him track back to the cave. Then, right before he got to the place where he had jumped into the stream all those days ago, he noticed moonlight glinting off something in one of the tree branches. He stopped, and looked again. There, hanging on a branch at chest height, was the amulet. The leather had snapped, but it had hooked itself neatly onto a protruding limb, and there it was. He plucked it off the tree, astonished, and clutched in his hand almost hard enough to bring blood. You’re an idiot, William. Been looking on the ground for two weeks and it was hanging in a tree like a goddamn Christmas ornament. Realizing he had no time to waste, he quickly took off again through the stream.
He practically dived into the cave. “Buffy! You won’t believe it! I found…” He stopped short. The smell of blood hit him like a wave. Oh no… Buffy was where he had left her, but surrounded by a growing pool of blood. He heard her heart still beating, but it was weakening. He crossed to her and shook her gently, calling her name, but she didn’t respond.
With shaking hands he dug the paper with the chant out of his jeans. Clutching the amulet he spoke the words to the spell. As the wind blew and the portal started growing in front of him, he scooped up the limp body of the Slayer. Cradling her tightly, he whirled and leaped through the shimmering doorway.
TBC
Return
Disclaimer: All the characters you know and love are Joss Whedon’s
Keep them reviews coming! Thank you so much!
*************
The Scoobies had been hanging around the Magic Box all day, waiting. Anya had served customers and counted money to keep calm, and Willow spent her time in research mode, trying to see what else she could find out about the Y’sogoth dimension and portal spells. Dawn had run in after school anxiously asking, “Are they back?” Her face fell as they sadly told her no. The others had spent the day in pacing, running out for coffee and other supplies, and other nervous pursuits.
As night fell, they grew more and more restless. They ordered a pizza, but no one had much of an appetite. Finally Xander snapped out, “Look, it’s obvious that Spike didn’t get the job done. We should go in after her.”
“Xander, we have no way of knowing that,” Giles responded. “We have no way of knowing what Spike encountered there. If we all go rushing in headlong we could end up making the situation worse.”
“I don’t trust him,” Xander said stubbornly. “For all we know he’s in league with them or something.”
“Xander what the hell is wrong with you?” snapped Tara. Her normal stammer and quiet voice had been replaced with clear anger. “If he wanted Buffy gone, why come to us? Why give us any information whatsoever? Why even stay at all after the fight with Glory? I know he’s a vampire, but for heaven’s sake think about it!”
“Why is everyone always defending him?” Xander cried, flailing his arms in frustration. “He. Is. A. Vampire. He kills people. Without that chip he’d be on our necks in a second.”
“He would not!” yelled Dawn, stamping her feet. “He took care of me all summer! He kept me safe from those biker demons, he put up with me when none of you would. I really don’t think there’s some big scary plan, Xander. Get over it already!”
“Would you all please shut up!” Giles yelled, exasperated. “Spike’s motives are entirely beside the point right now. We can’t go running into a demon dimension unprepared, and that is final. I’m not going to risk all our lives on the off chance that we might be able to help Buffy.” The others were stunned into silence.
It was at this point that they heard a rumble, and a wind blew out of the training room. “They’re back!” cried Willow, recognizing the sound of the portal opening. They all dashed into the training room as the shimmering wall appeared and grew larger. The noise increased to a roar as Spike dashed out with Buffy in his arms.
They were totally unprepared for what they saw. Spike was bare-chested, covered in scratches and gashes, with an enormous healing bruise on his side which was every color of the rainbow it seemed. Buffy was limp in his arms, wrapped in his duster, with blood dripping slowly down her exposed legs. Their cheers of welcome died in their mouths as they took in the sight of her pale, bruised face and her matted, tangled hair.
Spike’s wild, frantic voice burst through their shock. “She needs a doctor! Now!” he whirled and looked at Giles. “Where’s your car?”
Giles, to his credit, pulled his keys out of his pocket and ran toward the front door, with Spike on his heels. “What happened?” cried Dawn frantically.
“No time!” yelled Spike. He was already out the door. Giles held the rear door of his car open for Spike, who lost no time climbing in, still cradling the unconscious Slayer. Giles slammed the door and quickly ran around and jumped in. Seconds later he was screeching away from the curb on the way to the hospital.
Spike was nearly shaking as he clutched Buffy to him. Stay with me Slayer. Please stay with me. Her heartbeat was still audible, but getting weaker by the minute. “Step on it, Rupert,” he growled impatiently.
“Doing the best I can,” Giles retorted. “What the hell happened?”
Spike’s voice broke a bit as he answered, “Time ran different there. She just... gave birth.”
Giles’ eyes were wide and horrified in the rear view mirror. “Good lord,” Giles breathed. He increased his speed further. His mind reeled with the implications of Spike’s statement. He was relieved as the hospital appeared ahead.
The second Giles stopped the car at the emergency room entrance, Spike was out of the car and sprinting for the doors. Doctors and nurses looked up in wonder at the shirtless man with the unconscious woman in his arms. “Help us! Please! She’s lost a lot of blood!” Spike yelled wildly. A nurse ran up pushing a gurney on which Spike gently laid Buffy. A doctor started shouting about an IV and other nurses sprang into action as they wheeled her off into a treatment room. Another nurse stopped Spike from following with a hand to his arm and said, “You need to tell us what happened.”
“Just help her, for God’s sake, she’s dying!” Spike cried, his eyes flickering yellow as he struggled for control.
“We’re going to help her, but we need to know what we’re treating. Ok? Sir?” the nurse said in a calm voice.
Spike closed his eyes for a moment and clenched his fists. With his eyes still closed he said, “Her name is Buffy Summers. She just gave birth. I don’t… I don’t know what happened to the child. She’s got a broken leg and someone cut off one of her fingers. Now will you please go save her?” He opened his eyes again and fixed her with a look of pure desperation.
The nurse was visibly shocked at this recitation. Glancing once more at Spike she went to convey the information adding, “We’re going to have more questions for you, please stay here.”
Spike staggered a bit as he made his way to the nearest chair and collapsed into it. He dropped his head into his hands and tugged at his hair in worry and frustration. Giles sat down next to him. He had come in behind Spike and had heard his description of Buffy’s injuries. Giles shook his head in disbelief. How could all this have happened? She was only gone a week or so. He looked over at Spike. The vampire looked like hell, not just physically but emotionally. He looked painfully thin as well, Giles noticed. Truth be told, he looked about as bad as when he had first fought the Y’sogoths.
“How long were you there?” Giles inquired quietly.
“’Bout two weeks,” Spike said in an exhausted voice. “Lost the amulet for a while. While I was looking for it her time came. It was… bloody awful.”
They sat there in silence for a while, until the nurse who had spoken to them returned. “Sir, do you need treatment? You’re not looking too well yourself.”
Spike shook his head. “I’m alright. How’s Buffy?”
“Are you a relative?” she asked.
Giles spoke up, “I’m her uncle. What is her status?”
The nurse raised an eyebrow, not sure if she believed this man. But she answered, “She’s in critical condition. They are prepping her for surgery now. They suspect internal damage.”
Spike winced at the words internal damage. He could imagine what that creature must have done to the poor girl’s insides. Oh, Slayer… “Is she going to make it?” Spike asked quietly, his head still in his hands.
“Too soon to tell,” the nurse responded as gently as she could. “It’s good you got her here when you did. Can you tell me more about what happened?”
Spike had been thinking about how to spin this tale. Somehow he thought demon dimensions were not going to go over well. “She, um…” He took a deep breath. Concentrate, William, he told himself. “Do you remember back, last spring, when that big construction tower collapsed?”
“Not something that was easy to forget,” said the nurse. The collapse and the freak lightning storms that had followed had been all over the news.
“She disappeared around that time. We didn’t know what had happened to her. The authorities couldn’t find her, no one knew where she went. I heard a rumor that she had been seen with some gang out on the outskirts of town. Went to check it out, found her in an old warehouse, alone and in the state you saw. She told me about the baby before she passed out, but I didn’t see any evidence of a child anywhere. I called her uncle and brought her here.”
The nurse raised her eyebrow again. “You expect me to believe that story?” she asked skeptically.
“It’s all I can tell you,” Spike replied. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. The nurse shook her head disapprovingly and went back to the nurse’s station.
“Ok, Spike, what really happened?” Giles asked in a low voice.
“Later,” Spike grumbled. “You’ll get the full report, but right now just leave me in peace.”
Giles was about to give the vampire a sharp reprimand when the rest of the Scoobies burst through the door, looking around wildly. “Over here,” Giles said.
“Where is she, is she alright?” Dawn asked grabbing Giles’ arm.
“She’s in surgery. She’s in critical condition. They’re doing everything they can for her.”
Tara held a gray t-shirt out to Spike. “Here. It’s one of mine, but I thought you probably needed something to cover up with.”
Spike took the shirt and pulled it over his head. It was a bit baggy, but plain and better than nothing. “Thanks, Glinda,” he said gratefully.
“Where were you all day?” asked Xander. His tone clearly expressed is disapproval with the vampire.
“I was sitting on a beach, reading a novel,” Spike snapped. “What the fuck do you think I was doing, you pillock?” There were some days he would gladly risk the wrath of the slayer and the massive migraine just to pound Xander into the ground. Fucking whelp.
“Spike, settle down!” Giles said sharply. “And Xander, shut your bloody mouth for once. You have no idea what went on, and you’re making an ass of yourself.” Xander opened his mouth to reply, but severe looks from Tara, Anya, Dawn, and Giles made him shut it again.
“Let’s just sit down and wait, ok?” said Willow, trying to keep the peace. She was proud of her interdimensional spell, but it seemed that Buffy had been tortured severely during the 8 days she was gone. Perhaps it was best to find out the details of what had happened before she asked Spike about the portal and the other dimension.
Dawn asked in a shaky voice, “Did she… did the demon…?” Spike knew what she meant, and nodded gravely, staring at the ground and biting his lip to keep control. The others gasped as they realized what had happened – Buffy had given birth to a demon. For once even Xander had nothing to say.
The group waited in silence for an update. Dawn sat down next to Spike. She looked so scared and pitiful that he roused himself from his own misery enough to take her hand in his and look her in the eyes, quietly reassuring her with his steady gaze. Dawn leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, tears squeezing out between her eyelids and tracing down her cheeks. Across from them Willow and Tara sat holding each other’s hands, while Xander sat with his arm around Anya’s shoulders. There were a million questions in all their minds, but it was clear that Spike was not in a talking mood right now.
After several long hours, the doctor came out. “Are you all here for Buffy Summers?” he asked the group.
“Yes. This is her sister,” Giles answered, indicating Dawn. “How is she?”
“She came through the surgery fine, although it was touch and go there for a while. She is still unconscious, but should be coming out of the anesthesia soon. Her leg will need to be broken again and reset sometime soon for her to regain full use of it. We’ll need to do some plastic surgery on her hand as well. But the bleeding has stopped, and she should make a full recovery.”
“Oh thank God,” said Giles as let out a sigh of relief.
“Can we see her?” Dawn pleaded. She needed to see for herself that Buffy was still alive.
“She is still in bad shape. I only want two of you in there, and you can only stay a few minutes,” the doctor responded.
Dawn turned to Spike. “Come with me?” she begged. The others looked at each other, puzzled by Dawn’s choice of chaperone, but said nothing.
Spike replied, “Of course, Nibblet.” He got up and followed her and the doctor through the double doors and down the halls. The doctor held open the door to Buffy’s room. “Only a few minutes, understand?” he admonished.
“We understand,” Spike replied. Then taking a deep breath, he went in after Dawn.
Buffy looked small and pale in the large white bed. An IV dripped into her arm as monitors beeped around her. They had cleaned her up, although her hair still needed some work. The remaining bruises and scrapes were fading with her Slayer healing, but still visible in many places.
Dawn sat down in the chair at the bedside and gently took her sister’s hand. “It’s me Buffy. You’re going to be alright. Just get better, ok?” Then she noticed her sister’s mangled finger and nearly dropped Buffy’s hand in shock. “Spike what happened to her?” she asked in horror.
“Demons did quite a number on her, Bit,” Spike responded. “But she’s a fighter, your sister. She’ll be ok.” Please be ok, Slayer, he added silently.
The doctor poked his head in again. “You need to go now. But we’ll let you know as soon as you can come back.”
Dawn gave her sister a kiss on the forehead and turned to go. Spike picked up her damaged hand and kissed it. “I’ll be close by, pet. You’re safe now,” he whispered. Then he followed Dawn out of the room.
When they returned to the waiting room, only Giles, Xander, and Anya were there. “The others went out for provisions,” explained Anya.
“How does she look?” Giles inquired.
“She’s resting,” Spike answered. “She still looks like she’s been through a war, but she’s cleaned up somewhat.”
Willow and Tara returned shortly with coffee, hot chocolate for Dawn, and a thermos of blood for Spike. Despite his reservations about the red-haired witch he could have kissed her for the very thought of something to eat. He savored every drop. It’s not Slayer, but damn, I needed that.
“Spike?” asked Giles carefully. “Do you think you feel up to telling us what happened?”
Spike stared into the empty thermos and sighed. “I landed not far from the big fortress where they had her locked up. It was daylight, by the way. Fortunately the sun in their dimension seems to have no effect on me, or it would have been a short trip.” Willow started guiltily. She had honestly not even considered the idea that she could have fried their best rescuer.
Spike continued, “When I found her she was… catatonic. She didn’t seem to know where she was, didn’t respond to me at all. She was big as a house – ready to pop. Turns out that a day here is about a month there.”
They all gasped. Tara said in a shocked voice. “We didn’t even consider that.”
“A lot of demonic dimensions have different time speeds than ours,” Anya chimed in. “Makes travel difficult between them. Ever try planning a party with demons from multiple dimensions? Not easy.”
Xander rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s prattle. “What happened then? Why did it take so long to get back?” he had toned down his voice, but the thread of accusation was still there.
Spike fought the urge to growl at the Whelp. “I tried to sneak out with her, find a place to open the portal, but we got chased. In the process of trying to get away the amulet got caught on a tree and I lost it for a while.”
“Lost it?” cried Xander. “How could you lose it?”
“You try running through a forest, in the dark, with a girl in your arms and no weapon, with half an army of demons behind you. See how well you do, you git.” Xander wisely said nothing.
“Go on, Spike,” Dawn urged.
“We were there for two weeks. Hid in a cave. After a while she… came back to her senses.” No sense in telling them how she snapped out of it. Don’t fancy getting myself staked at present. “She went into labor a few days after that. When it was over, I took the… demon and left it near the fortress. On the way back I found the amulet, and got us back.”
“What happened to her leg?” Dawn asked. “And her hand?”
“They took a sledgehammer to her leg for trying to escape,” Spike said in a voice barely above a whisper. “They cut off her finger when she wouldn’t obey them. The way she suffered...” He covered his face with his hands trying to block out the memory of finding her, broken and insensible.
While the others stared in stunned silence, Dawn wrapped her arms around the vampire. “You got her out, Spike. You kept your promise. It’s ok.” Almost lost her again, he thought. God it was so close. Too close. Dawn stroked his back as all the accumulated stress and worry crashed in on him at once. He didn’t stop shaking for a long time.
TBC
Keep them reviews coming! Thank you so much!
*************
The Scoobies had been hanging around the Magic Box all day, waiting. Anya had served customers and counted money to keep calm, and Willow spent her time in research mode, trying to see what else she could find out about the Y’sogoth dimension and portal spells. Dawn had run in after school anxiously asking, “Are they back?” Her face fell as they sadly told her no. The others had spent the day in pacing, running out for coffee and other supplies, and other nervous pursuits.
As night fell, they grew more and more restless. They ordered a pizza, but no one had much of an appetite. Finally Xander snapped out, “Look, it’s obvious that Spike didn’t get the job done. We should go in after her.”
“Xander, we have no way of knowing that,” Giles responded. “We have no way of knowing what Spike encountered there. If we all go rushing in headlong we could end up making the situation worse.”
“I don’t trust him,” Xander said stubbornly. “For all we know he’s in league with them or something.”
“Xander what the hell is wrong with you?” snapped Tara. Her normal stammer and quiet voice had been replaced with clear anger. “If he wanted Buffy gone, why come to us? Why give us any information whatsoever? Why even stay at all after the fight with Glory? I know he’s a vampire, but for heaven’s sake think about it!”
“Why is everyone always defending him?” Xander cried, flailing his arms in frustration. “He. Is. A. Vampire. He kills people. Without that chip he’d be on our necks in a second.”
“He would not!” yelled Dawn, stamping her feet. “He took care of me all summer! He kept me safe from those biker demons, he put up with me when none of you would. I really don’t think there’s some big scary plan, Xander. Get over it already!”
“Would you all please shut up!” Giles yelled, exasperated. “Spike’s motives are entirely beside the point right now. We can’t go running into a demon dimension unprepared, and that is final. I’m not going to risk all our lives on the off chance that we might be able to help Buffy.” The others were stunned into silence.
It was at this point that they heard a rumble, and a wind blew out of the training room. “They’re back!” cried Willow, recognizing the sound of the portal opening. They all dashed into the training room as the shimmering wall appeared and grew larger. The noise increased to a roar as Spike dashed out with Buffy in his arms.
They were totally unprepared for what they saw. Spike was bare-chested, covered in scratches and gashes, with an enormous healing bruise on his side which was every color of the rainbow it seemed. Buffy was limp in his arms, wrapped in his duster, with blood dripping slowly down her exposed legs. Their cheers of welcome died in their mouths as they took in the sight of her pale, bruised face and her matted, tangled hair.
Spike’s wild, frantic voice burst through their shock. “She needs a doctor! Now!” he whirled and looked at Giles. “Where’s your car?”
Giles, to his credit, pulled his keys out of his pocket and ran toward the front door, with Spike on his heels. “What happened?” cried Dawn frantically.
“No time!” yelled Spike. He was already out the door. Giles held the rear door of his car open for Spike, who lost no time climbing in, still cradling the unconscious Slayer. Giles slammed the door and quickly ran around and jumped in. Seconds later he was screeching away from the curb on the way to the hospital.
Spike was nearly shaking as he clutched Buffy to him. Stay with me Slayer. Please stay with me. Her heartbeat was still audible, but getting weaker by the minute. “Step on it, Rupert,” he growled impatiently.
“Doing the best I can,” Giles retorted. “What the hell happened?”
Spike’s voice broke a bit as he answered, “Time ran different there. She just... gave birth.”
Giles’ eyes were wide and horrified in the rear view mirror. “Good lord,” Giles breathed. He increased his speed further. His mind reeled with the implications of Spike’s statement. He was relieved as the hospital appeared ahead.
The second Giles stopped the car at the emergency room entrance, Spike was out of the car and sprinting for the doors. Doctors and nurses looked up in wonder at the shirtless man with the unconscious woman in his arms. “Help us! Please! She’s lost a lot of blood!” Spike yelled wildly. A nurse ran up pushing a gurney on which Spike gently laid Buffy. A doctor started shouting about an IV and other nurses sprang into action as they wheeled her off into a treatment room. Another nurse stopped Spike from following with a hand to his arm and said, “You need to tell us what happened.”
“Just help her, for God’s sake, she’s dying!” Spike cried, his eyes flickering yellow as he struggled for control.
“We’re going to help her, but we need to know what we’re treating. Ok? Sir?” the nurse said in a calm voice.
Spike closed his eyes for a moment and clenched his fists. With his eyes still closed he said, “Her name is Buffy Summers. She just gave birth. I don’t… I don’t know what happened to the child. She’s got a broken leg and someone cut off one of her fingers. Now will you please go save her?” He opened his eyes again and fixed her with a look of pure desperation.
The nurse was visibly shocked at this recitation. Glancing once more at Spike she went to convey the information adding, “We’re going to have more questions for you, please stay here.”
Spike staggered a bit as he made his way to the nearest chair and collapsed into it. He dropped his head into his hands and tugged at his hair in worry and frustration. Giles sat down next to him. He had come in behind Spike and had heard his description of Buffy’s injuries. Giles shook his head in disbelief. How could all this have happened? She was only gone a week or so. He looked over at Spike. The vampire looked like hell, not just physically but emotionally. He looked painfully thin as well, Giles noticed. Truth be told, he looked about as bad as when he had first fought the Y’sogoths.
“How long were you there?” Giles inquired quietly.
“’Bout two weeks,” Spike said in an exhausted voice. “Lost the amulet for a while. While I was looking for it her time came. It was… bloody awful.”
They sat there in silence for a while, until the nurse who had spoken to them returned. “Sir, do you need treatment? You’re not looking too well yourself.”
Spike shook his head. “I’m alright. How’s Buffy?”
“Are you a relative?” she asked.
Giles spoke up, “I’m her uncle. What is her status?”
The nurse raised an eyebrow, not sure if she believed this man. But she answered, “She’s in critical condition. They are prepping her for surgery now. They suspect internal damage.”
Spike winced at the words internal damage. He could imagine what that creature must have done to the poor girl’s insides. Oh, Slayer… “Is she going to make it?” Spike asked quietly, his head still in his hands.
“Too soon to tell,” the nurse responded as gently as she could. “It’s good you got her here when you did. Can you tell me more about what happened?”
Spike had been thinking about how to spin this tale. Somehow he thought demon dimensions were not going to go over well. “She, um…” He took a deep breath. Concentrate, William, he told himself. “Do you remember back, last spring, when that big construction tower collapsed?”
“Not something that was easy to forget,” said the nurse. The collapse and the freak lightning storms that had followed had been all over the news.
“She disappeared around that time. We didn’t know what had happened to her. The authorities couldn’t find her, no one knew where she went. I heard a rumor that she had been seen with some gang out on the outskirts of town. Went to check it out, found her in an old warehouse, alone and in the state you saw. She told me about the baby before she passed out, but I didn’t see any evidence of a child anywhere. I called her uncle and brought her here.”
The nurse raised her eyebrow again. “You expect me to believe that story?” she asked skeptically.
“It’s all I can tell you,” Spike replied. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. The nurse shook her head disapprovingly and went back to the nurse’s station.
“Ok, Spike, what really happened?” Giles asked in a low voice.
“Later,” Spike grumbled. “You’ll get the full report, but right now just leave me in peace.”
Giles was about to give the vampire a sharp reprimand when the rest of the Scoobies burst through the door, looking around wildly. “Over here,” Giles said.
“Where is she, is she alright?” Dawn asked grabbing Giles’ arm.
“She’s in surgery. She’s in critical condition. They’re doing everything they can for her.”
Tara held a gray t-shirt out to Spike. “Here. It’s one of mine, but I thought you probably needed something to cover up with.”
Spike took the shirt and pulled it over his head. It was a bit baggy, but plain and better than nothing. “Thanks, Glinda,” he said gratefully.
“Where were you all day?” asked Xander. His tone clearly expressed is disapproval with the vampire.
“I was sitting on a beach, reading a novel,” Spike snapped. “What the fuck do you think I was doing, you pillock?” There were some days he would gladly risk the wrath of the slayer and the massive migraine just to pound Xander into the ground. Fucking whelp.
“Spike, settle down!” Giles said sharply. “And Xander, shut your bloody mouth for once. You have no idea what went on, and you’re making an ass of yourself.” Xander opened his mouth to reply, but severe looks from Tara, Anya, Dawn, and Giles made him shut it again.
“Let’s just sit down and wait, ok?” said Willow, trying to keep the peace. She was proud of her interdimensional spell, but it seemed that Buffy had been tortured severely during the 8 days she was gone. Perhaps it was best to find out the details of what had happened before she asked Spike about the portal and the other dimension.
Dawn asked in a shaky voice, “Did she… did the demon…?” Spike knew what she meant, and nodded gravely, staring at the ground and biting his lip to keep control. The others gasped as they realized what had happened – Buffy had given birth to a demon. For once even Xander had nothing to say.
The group waited in silence for an update. Dawn sat down next to Spike. She looked so scared and pitiful that he roused himself from his own misery enough to take her hand in his and look her in the eyes, quietly reassuring her with his steady gaze. Dawn leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, tears squeezing out between her eyelids and tracing down her cheeks. Across from them Willow and Tara sat holding each other’s hands, while Xander sat with his arm around Anya’s shoulders. There were a million questions in all their minds, but it was clear that Spike was not in a talking mood right now.
After several long hours, the doctor came out. “Are you all here for Buffy Summers?” he asked the group.
“Yes. This is her sister,” Giles answered, indicating Dawn. “How is she?”
“She came through the surgery fine, although it was touch and go there for a while. She is still unconscious, but should be coming out of the anesthesia soon. Her leg will need to be broken again and reset sometime soon for her to regain full use of it. We’ll need to do some plastic surgery on her hand as well. But the bleeding has stopped, and she should make a full recovery.”
“Oh thank God,” said Giles as let out a sigh of relief.
“Can we see her?” Dawn pleaded. She needed to see for herself that Buffy was still alive.
“She is still in bad shape. I only want two of you in there, and you can only stay a few minutes,” the doctor responded.
Dawn turned to Spike. “Come with me?” she begged. The others looked at each other, puzzled by Dawn’s choice of chaperone, but said nothing.
Spike replied, “Of course, Nibblet.” He got up and followed her and the doctor through the double doors and down the halls. The doctor held open the door to Buffy’s room. “Only a few minutes, understand?” he admonished.
“We understand,” Spike replied. Then taking a deep breath, he went in after Dawn.
Buffy looked small and pale in the large white bed. An IV dripped into her arm as monitors beeped around her. They had cleaned her up, although her hair still needed some work. The remaining bruises and scrapes were fading with her Slayer healing, but still visible in many places.
Dawn sat down in the chair at the bedside and gently took her sister’s hand. “It’s me Buffy. You’re going to be alright. Just get better, ok?” Then she noticed her sister’s mangled finger and nearly dropped Buffy’s hand in shock. “Spike what happened to her?” she asked in horror.
“Demons did quite a number on her, Bit,” Spike responded. “But she’s a fighter, your sister. She’ll be ok.” Please be ok, Slayer, he added silently.
The doctor poked his head in again. “You need to go now. But we’ll let you know as soon as you can come back.”
Dawn gave her sister a kiss on the forehead and turned to go. Spike picked up her damaged hand and kissed it. “I’ll be close by, pet. You’re safe now,” he whispered. Then he followed Dawn out of the room.
When they returned to the waiting room, only Giles, Xander, and Anya were there. “The others went out for provisions,” explained Anya.
“How does she look?” Giles inquired.
“She’s resting,” Spike answered. “She still looks like she’s been through a war, but she’s cleaned up somewhat.”
Willow and Tara returned shortly with coffee, hot chocolate for Dawn, and a thermos of blood for Spike. Despite his reservations about the red-haired witch he could have kissed her for the very thought of something to eat. He savored every drop. It’s not Slayer, but damn, I needed that.
“Spike?” asked Giles carefully. “Do you think you feel up to telling us what happened?”
Spike stared into the empty thermos and sighed. “I landed not far from the big fortress where they had her locked up. It was daylight, by the way. Fortunately the sun in their dimension seems to have no effect on me, or it would have been a short trip.” Willow started guiltily. She had honestly not even considered the idea that she could have fried their best rescuer.
Spike continued, “When I found her she was… catatonic. She didn’t seem to know where she was, didn’t respond to me at all. She was big as a house – ready to pop. Turns out that a day here is about a month there.”
They all gasped. Tara said in a shocked voice. “We didn’t even consider that.”
“A lot of demonic dimensions have different time speeds than ours,” Anya chimed in. “Makes travel difficult between them. Ever try planning a party with demons from multiple dimensions? Not easy.”
Xander rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s prattle. “What happened then? Why did it take so long to get back?” he had toned down his voice, but the thread of accusation was still there.
Spike fought the urge to growl at the Whelp. “I tried to sneak out with her, find a place to open the portal, but we got chased. In the process of trying to get away the amulet got caught on a tree and I lost it for a while.”
“Lost it?” cried Xander. “How could you lose it?”
“You try running through a forest, in the dark, with a girl in your arms and no weapon, with half an army of demons behind you. See how well you do, you git.” Xander wisely said nothing.
“Go on, Spike,” Dawn urged.
“We were there for two weeks. Hid in a cave. After a while she… came back to her senses.” No sense in telling them how she snapped out of it. Don’t fancy getting myself staked at present. “She went into labor a few days after that. When it was over, I took the… demon and left it near the fortress. On the way back I found the amulet, and got us back.”
“What happened to her leg?” Dawn asked. “And her hand?”
“They took a sledgehammer to her leg for trying to escape,” Spike said in a voice barely above a whisper. “They cut off her finger when she wouldn’t obey them. The way she suffered...” He covered his face with his hands trying to block out the memory of finding her, broken and insensible.
While the others stared in stunned silence, Dawn wrapped her arms around the vampire. “You got her out, Spike. You kept your promise. It’s ok.” Almost lost her again, he thought. God it was so close. Too close. Dawn stroked his back as all the accumulated stress and worry crashed in on him at once. He didn’t stop shaking for a long time.
TBC
New growth
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you to all my amazing reviewers!
*********
They were all dozing on the chairs in the waiting room when the nurse came back at midnight. Poor boy looks dead, the nurse thought sympathetically as she eyed Spike leaning against the wall with Dawn resting against his shoulder. He really should have seen a doctor. She put her hand on his knee and shook it. “Sir?”
Spike woke up and shook himself. “Yes?” he asked blearily. The others stirred and opened their eyes around him.
“Miss Summers is awake. Are you Spike?” the nurse asked, her eyebrow drifting upward again at the odd nickname.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“She’s asking for you.” The nurse led the way down the hall. Spike followed her, as the others looked at each other in bewilderment.
“Should we go too?” asked Willow.
“Of course! We’re her friends,” answered Xander. They all trooped down the hall after the nurse and Spike.
When they got to the room, the nurse was coming out. “She asked me to tell you to wait a moment. She wanted to talk to the young man alone.” The group looked at each other, wondering why Buffy would want to see Spike, but not them.
Spike closed the door softly and moved to the bedside. “Buffy? ‘M here, love.”
Buffy opened her eyes, and Spike thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world. “I wanted to see that you were ok,” she said by way of explanation.
“I’m not the one who’s in hospital, pet,” he replied, sitting down. He held her hand with one of his hands and stroked her hair gently with the other. “How are you feeling?”
“Ok, I guess. Only…” She stopped, and bit her lip. “This is going to sound like the most idiotic thing to be upset about…”
Spike cocked his head to one side. “It’s me, remember? What’s troubling you?”
Buffy turned her head and looked away for a minute, gathering her thoughts. Then she spoke quietly. “The doctor said… he said that I’ll probably never be able to have children after this.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke. “I know, it’s stupid. Like slayers ever live long enough to have children anyhow. I can’t even take care of Dawn! But still I…” She didn’t know how to express it.
“Would have been nice to have the option,” Spike finished. Buffy nodded, grateful for his understanding. “I kind of understand where you’re coming from. When I was alive, my ambition was to find myself a suitable wife and give my mother some grandchildren to dote on. That all sort of fell by the wayside after I was turned. I’m so sorry, love.” He squeezed her hand gently and wiped away an errant tear from her face.
“Don’t… don’t tell the others, ok?” she pleaded. “I don’t want to have to deal with them and… all that. Not right now.”
“I won’t, love,” he promised. Inwardly, he wished that Buffy would just get over her need to protect her friends from anything upsetting. Although he truly valued being her confidant, he felt like someday it was all going to come crashing down in an ugly way. Still, he knew he would never break her confidence. “Should we let the others in now?”
Buffy wiped her eyes on the back of her hands and sat up a bit. “I guess we should.” Spike turned to open the door. “Spike?” she called. He paused, turning to fix her with his adoring blue eyes. “Thank you. For everything.” she finished.
“Anytime, love,” Spike responded. God, I love this girl. He shook himself a bit, and opened the door. “Come on in, Slayer’s waiting,” he said to the assembled Scoobies.
They practically knocked Spike down in their eagerness to see Buffy. Dawn ran over and hugged her sister, tears of relief running down her face. Buffy for her part held her sister as tightly as she could.
“Buffy, how are you?” asked Giles when Dawn finally let go of her.
“I’m ok, Giles,” Buffy said in a tired voice. “I’m pretty sore.”
“Aw, you know you’ll be back in gear in no time,” Xander piped up.
Buffy froze for a moment. Something about his usual cheery banter just struck her like a blade. “What if I’m not?” she whispered.
The smile faded from Xander’s face to be replaced by a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”
Buffy fixed her friends with a haunted look. “I don’t know… if I can cope with this. You have… no idea how bad it was.” She twisted her hands nervously.
“Buffy, we’re here for you,” said Willow with a concerned voice. “I could look for a spell that would…”
“NO!” cried Buffy. “No spells. I just… I just…” Panicking, she looked to Spike, standing behind the others. He pushed his way past the others to her side. He sat down next to her on the bed and cradled her to his chest as she clung to him and shuddered.
“Just give her some time, for God’s sake,” he snapped at them. Jesus, just like when they brought her back from the grave. In her face and yammering a mile a minute. Have they no sense whatsoever? “She’s been through hell. You can’t expect her to bounce back like a rubber ball.”
Buffy continued to cling to Spike’s cool chest. It seemed the only comforting thing in the world right now. The Scoobies didn’t know what to think. Giles found his voice first. “We didn’t mean to overwhelm you. We’re just… glad you’re back.”
Buffy turned toward the others, still in the protective circle of Spike’s arms. “Please. Don’t take this wrong. But I just can’t deal right now. Can you please just go?” Her voice was uncharacteristically small.
“But… but Buffy we just want to…” Willow began.
She was cut short by Spike’s cold, hard voice. “You. Need. To. Leave.” His eyes flashed yellow briefly. The others were so stunned at the turn of events that they turned and slowly filed out. Dawn lingered behind. “Buffy?” she asked in a nervous voice. “Do you want me to go too?”
“Just for a little while, ok Dawnie?” Buffy responded. Dawn came over and hugged Buffy again. “I love you, Dawn. Remember that, ok?” Dawn sniffled and nodded. Then she left to join the others.
“Want me to leave too, love?” Spike asked quietly.
“No, stay. Please. Just stay here next to me.” She shifted over on the bed enough for him to stretch out next to her. Wondering at his good fortune, he stretched out next to her, letting her curl up with her head on his chest and his strong arms around her. “I’ve got you, Slayer. You’re safe here,” he crooned. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Spike had had an extremely long day. He planted a loving kiss on her hair, and fell asleep as well.
**********
“What the hell was that all about?” Xander snapped when they got out in the hall. “We get her out of hell again and she doesn’t even want to talk to us!”
“Could it be some sort of side effect from the spell?” asked Willow. Although she wasn’t as vocal about it as Xander, she too was hurt. Once again, not even a simple thank you? What did she want from them?
“Are you both blind?” cried Tara. They spun around to face her. “Are you that self absorbed?”
“Huh?” said Xander.
Tara was uncharacteristically angry. “Xander, did you not hear a word Spike said earlier? She’s been tortured for months! She gave birth to a demon less than 24 hours ago! And you two are going to get bent out of shape because she isn’t jumping up and down to see you?” Tara was completely flabbergasted at Willow and Xander’s pigheadedness.
“She seems fine with him though!” Xander continued, as though he hadn’t heard a word. “She escapes a world of demons and who does she turn to? Another demon? What the hell?”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Xander?” said Anya. She had kept her own counsel so far in this mess, but now too she had had enough. “She didn’t say she was never speaking to you again. She just needs to recover. “
“Just stop it! All of you!” screamed Dawn. They all stopped to look at the teen, who was nearly in tears. “This isn’t helping!” Dawn had started to become fully aware of how badly her sister had been hurt. It was insane that they were fighting over who had the right to comfort her.
Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “It’s been a very long day. Let’s just go home and get some sleep. We’re all on edge and Dawn is right – this is not helping.”
Xander shook his head in confusion. “Come on, Anya. Let’s go.” He turned and stalked off, with Anya following. Tara tugged Willow’s arm. Willow looked at Giles and Dawn, searching for some sort of answers. “Just take me home,” said Dawn quietly. Giles took one last look at Buffy’s door and then shepherded Dawn out.
********
The nurse who came in at about three in the morning to check on Buffy was surprised to find her with a companion. Spike opened his eyes when he heard her. “What are you doing here?” the nurse began. But Spike shook his head. “Shh. She’s asleep, yeah? Just let her rest,” he whispered.
The nurse was touched by the obvious tenderness in this man’s eyes as he looked at Buffy. She nodded and said, “You call if she needs something, ok?” Spike nodded, and the nurse left quietly. Spike looked back down at the sleeping woman in his arms. So beautiful. My God, I want nothing more than this. To hold her and watch her sleep. To have her trust me. This is heaven. Still a voice in the back of his head worried at him. When she recovered, would he be out on his ear again? The outcast? The hired muscle and the target for all the Scoobies’ scorn? After all he had gone through with her, he wasn’t sure he could bear it. She had trusted him, and needed him. To go back to being merely tolerated… He sighed quietly. Best enjoy it while it lasts.
************
Buffy woke up at one point to find that Spike was no longer on the bed. He was quietly making his way to the door. “Where are you going?” she asked, her voice fuzzy with sleep.
“Really need some clean clothes and some blood, pet,” he explained. Buffy noticed for the first time that he was still in his bloodstained jeans and an unfamiliar gray t-shirt. He returned to her side and kissed her forehead gently. “I promise I’ll be back later. You’ll be ok.”
“Hurry back,” she said softly. He smiled, then slipped out into the hallway. Buffy lay back on the bed, thinking. It had felt so right to be in his arms. She was still sore from the surgery, her leg was still mangled, and she nearly cried at the way her hand looked. But when he was holding her she felt safe. Protected. Warm, despite his low body temperature. He guarded her, but didn’t smother her. He had faith in her abilities to survive, but gave her support when she needed it. But he’s a vampire! She just couldn’t get her brain around that. He was a vampire with no soul. But somehow, he managed to control his demon and do the right thing for her sake. How can I get involved with a vampire again? she worried. But then another thought came into her head. How can I get through this without him? Which would be worse – dealing with the Scoobies’ disapproval or facing all this alone? She mulled these questions over and over in her mind for a long time.
*********
A couple hours later, Buffy was sitting up and enjoying breakfast. Food. Where have you been all my life? She wolfed down everything they brought her, and practically nibbled the design off the plates as well. Even the somewhat bland hospital food was like ambrosia after months of demon slop and roasted toad. As she was finishing up, her door opened and Giles entered.
“Good morning,” he said, glad to see her sitting up and eating. “Can I come in?” Buffy nodded with her mouth full of toast. Giles sat down in the chair at her bedside. “Did Spike leave?”
“He needed some clean clothes and something to eat,” Buffy answered. “He’ll be back later.”
Giles took a deep breath. “You seem to have become rather… close to Spike of late,” he observed.
Buffy frowned a bit. She wasn’t sure she liked the tone of his voice. “Spike took care of me, Giles. He kept me alive. He helped me deliver that… creature I had inside me. I owe him my life.”
“Yes, but are you sure he doesn’t have any ulterior motives? He is still a vampire, with no soul. I just don’t want…” Giles hesitated.
“What?” Buffy prompted. “What are you worried about?”
“I just want to know whether you are contemplating another relationship with a vampire. Under these circumstances, I fear your judgment may be clouded by your traumatic experience and that you may be blinded to Spike’s faults.”
“Giles, even before he came to rescue me, he was helping me,” Buffy explained. “He listened to me, helped me patrol. Before that he took care of Dawn, helped you guys all summer. Why are you all of a sudden deciding he is untrustworthy?”
“Buffy, I’m just concerned, that’s all,” Giles began. He was interrupted by the arrival of the other Scoobies. “Can we come in?” Dawn asked. Buffy sighed inwardly, but nodded.
Dawn came over and gave Buffy a hug. Willow looked around and asked, “Where’s Spike?”
“Probably took off to go to Willie’s,” muttered Xander.
Buffy pushed her breakfast tray to the side and sat up as straight as possible. Angrily she said, “Xander, do you think you could go for maybe one whole minute without ragging on Spike? Is it possible? Or is your diarrhea of the mouth a permanent condition?”
“You know, I don’t get it, Buffy,” barked Xander. “We bring you back from hell, and you barely speak to us. Spike does the same thing, which wouldn’t have happened without Willow’s spell by the way, and you’re his number one fan!”
Buffy closed her eyes for a minute. This had to stop. Looking down at her lap, she said in a low, tired voice, “I wasn’t in hell the first time.”
“What do you mean?” asked Giles, suddenly concerned.
Buffy looked around at all of them. “I was in heaven. I was in a warm place where I was loved. I was finished, at peace. And you guys dragged me out of there. Dragged me back here to fight and suffer. None of this would have happened if you had just left me alone. I’ve been going through hell every day since I got back. And all of you have been too busy patting each other on the back and saying ‘Good job’ to even notice how hard it has been for me.”
The Scoobies all found their jaws dropping at her revelation. Suddenly all her sadness, her disconnected behavior, and her depression made sense. “We didn’t know…” Willow started. The horror of what they had done crashed in on her. Heaven? I didn’t even consider that possibility. Xander shook his head in disbelief. Tara saw the pain in Buffy’s eyes and felt a crushing remorse for her own part in what had been done before.
“Buffy, why didn’t you tell anyone?” Giles asked. His own guilt weighed heavily on him. How could I have been so blind? Of course she’s been having trouble! I’m going on at her about being an adult when she can’t handle being alive.
“I told Spike,” she answered softly. “Spike listens. He doesn’t pity me, or try to fix me, or tell me to snap out of it. He just… listens. He takes me exactly as I am, not as he needs me to be.” She spoke up again in a stronger, more determined voice. “You are all going to have to get your brains around one thing. Spike is my friend. I need him around. I feel better when he’s around. I’m never going to heal from all this without his help. So you all have two choices. You can either deal with Spike being here and leave him be, or you can get the hell out of my life. I’m through with hiding what I need and what I am feeling to protect and please all of you. So make your choice.”
Willow’s eyes were wide as she stared at her friend. At that point, she noticed, for the first time, the faint marks on Buffy’s neck. They were fading, but clearly they were the mark of a vampire, and they were relatively new, not the old, nearly faded scars from Angel. “Did he bite you?” she cried. Buffy sighed, confirming Willow’s suspicions. “He bit you! How can you be sitting there defending him when he bit you?”
“What?” roared Xander. “Didn’t his chip fire? I’ll stake that son of a bitch right now…”
“Shut up!” screamed Buffy. She was nearly shaking with fury and stress. “He was injured, ok? He took on one of those demons after having not eaten in a week. There was nothing there for him to eat. He was afraid that he couldn’t defend me if he didn’t heal. So yeah, he took a few sips. Didn’t hurt me. Didn’t nearly drain me like Angel did. Barely took enough to heal. Even after I offered him some more freely he barely took any. I don’t know why his chip didn’t fire there. But I was completely out of it. Even when I came to I couldn’t walk or fight. He could have drained me any time he wanted. He could have turned me or done anything he damn well pleased. But he didn’t, even when he was desperate.”
Giles couldn’t believe what he was hearing. A starving, injured vampire with that degree of control? It was unheard of. He had never seen anything like that in any of the Watcher’s diaries. Slowly, he started to come to the conclusion that Buffy was right – something was different about Spike. But would it last? Would she end up having to destroy someone she cared about again? Would the others be in danger? He just didn’t know. After a bit of a pause he said, “Buffy, do you trust him?”
Buffy looked straight into Giles’ eyes. “I trust him with my life.”
Giles polished his glasses thoughtfully. “Buffy, you know my reservations about vampires. But if you feel that having Spike around will help you recover from all this, then I will trust your judgment,” he said finally.
“Giles!’ said Xander. “He’s a killer! He’s evil! How can you…”
“Xander, get out,” Buffy said with steel in her voice. “Get out of my room, out of my sight. Stay the hell away from me and Spike until you can get your brain around the idea that you do not run my life. I am the Slayer. I think I can handle one vampire. I need him around. Until you can accept that, just get out.” Xander sputtered, looking hurt and crushed. But in the end, he looked away from her cold, hard stare and turned to go. Anya followed, rolling her eyes at Xander’s stubborn prejudice.
Buffy turned to Willow. “I know you didn’t know I was in heaven. But coming back here was… a nightmare. I appreciate what you did to get me out of the demons’ dimension. From now on, though, I need to do things my way. If you want to stay in my house, and in my life, you had better accept that my way is not necessarily going to be your way. Spike is going to be in my life, period, full stop. If you don’t like that, then pack up and leave.”
Willow started to protest, but Tara laid a hand on her arm and shook her head. Willow bit her lip then said, “I… I don’t know what to do. I feel like this is all my fault…”
“Look,” said Buffy. “What’s done is done. What I need from you now is your support, and not your interference, and really, really not your magic. I may not be my old self ever again. I’m not going to act and respond the way I did before – that Buffy is dead. You need to accept that. “
Willow hesitated, then nodded, sniffling a bit. Tara took her hand and said, “Let’s leave her alone for a while, ok?” Buffy looked at Tara with gratitude as she led Willow out.
Dawn and Giles were left in the room with Buffy. Buffy turned to her sister. “Come here,” she said. Dawn came over and hugged Buffy. Buffy kissed her cheek and said, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable in your own home. Do you mind if Spike is there sometimes?”
Dawn nearly laughed in relief. “Duh! He’s like one of my best friends! He treats me like a grownup, helps me with my homework, of course he can come over!”
Giles watched as the sisters embraced again, with Buffy showing one of the first real smiles he had seen from her since her return from the grave. He was never going to be happy with his slayer associating with William the Bloody. But he sensibly realized he needed to keep his mouth shut. She truly had been through hell. If the vampire could help her heal, then he needed to stay out of the way.
The four Scoobies rode down to the parking garage in the elevator. Xander was still grumbling under his breath. Willow frowned and bit her lip, trying to decide what had happened. They parted ways in the garage, each couple moving off to their respective cars. Xander was still furious as he stalked through the garage. “There’s got to be something wrong with her. Maybe he’s got some sort of thrall on her or something.”
“Xander, I really don’t see what the problem is,” Anya began. Then they rounded a corner and practically ran into Spike coming toward them, having just exited one of Sunnydale’s many tunnels. He had showered and put on a fresh t-shirt and jeans, with a red shirt over the ensemble. He stopped and glared at Xander, sensing trouble.
“You,” growled Xander. “What did you do to her? She’s throwing her friends out of her life because of you.”
Spike had had it. The area was otherwise empty, so there was no one to notice when he slammed Xander up against the wall. The chip fired in a blinding flare of pain, but he didn’t care. Guess it still works on this asshole. Pity. Then, holding the squirming Xander against the wall, Spike got within inches of his face and spoke in a low, menacing tone. “Do you love Anya?”
Xander spluttered, “Of course I do. What does that have to do with you and Buffy?”
Spike continued in that same tone, “I want to imagine that you came home from work to find Anya naked, beaten, and raped on your kitchen floor. I want you to imagine what that would feel like – to see someone you love in that state.” Spike’s voice cracked with emotion. “Then I want you to imagine that there is nothing you can do to get back at the bastard who did it to her. That’s what I went through for the past two weeks. Only what they did to the woman I love was 10 times worse.” The chip kept sending out shocks, but he just winced, ground his teeth and held Xander in place.
“You don’t love her,” Xander spat out. “You’ve got some sick obsession with her, but it’s not love. Demons can’t love.”
“What do you know, Xander?” said Anya. Both men turned to look at her. “Hello? Demon for a thousand years here! Of course demons can love. I didn’t suddenly start to love only because I became human.” Clearly I need to work on this man’s ignorance of the demon world, she thought.
“If Anya was lying there in that hospital bed, and everyone was saying that she should stay away from you, how do you think she’d feel?” Spike continued, determined to get through to this thick skulled idiot. “All I want is for Buffy to get better. That’s it. I intend to protect and support her every second, for as long as she needs me.” Spike’s nose started bleeding from the chip firing constantly, but he held on.
Xander stared at Spike for another minute. “All right,” he finally said, holding up his hands. Spike let go and stepped back, putting his hand to his temple in pain. “If the slayer wants you around, I’m not going to argue with her. But I don’t trust you. I will never trust you. And the second Buffy wises up and wants you gone I will personally stake you myself.” He shoved past Spike and stomped down to the car. Anya rolled her eyes again, shot an apologetic glance at Spike, and followed.
Spike dug a bandana out of his pocket to wipe his bleeding nose. Fuck, that hurt. Maybe I finally got through to the wanker. Not going to hold my breath though. He took the elevator and walked down the hall to Buffy’s room, dabbing at his nose and rubbing his temple.
He arrived in time to see the doctor leave. Is she ok? He sped up and almost leaped into the room. To his relief he saw her there, clearly tired but ok, and conversing with Giles and Dawn. She smiled when he came in. He lingered by the doorway for a moment. “Um, Dawn, could you…” He raised his eyebrows to indicate the open shade. Dawn scurried across to draw the curtain so that Spike could approach the bed. “Thanks, Nibblet,” he murmured gratefully. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah. The doctor was saying that they want to do surgery on my leg and my hand tomorrow or the day after.” Buffy still sounded so tired to Spike’s ears. Spike crossed to her and took her hand. Giles stood up at that point. “I think you two might need some time alone. Dawn, would you like to go get something from the cafeteria?” he asked. Dawn really wanted to stay, but when she saw Buffy and Spike staring deeply into each other’s eyes, she understood Giles’ point and followed him out.
“Did you know your nose is bleeding?” Buffy asked. “What happened?”
“Ran into Xander in the parking garage and had a few words.”
“Did he hit you? I’ll break his arm,” Buffy growled.
“No, love, he didn’t hit me,” Spike replied. “I shoved him against the wall for being an ass. Made my chip fire. Guess it still works on this side of the barrier. I didn’t hurt him,” Spike finished quickly. Last thing he needed was for her to start thinking he was somehow a danger to her mates.
“I’m so irritated with him that I would suggest eating him, if he wasn’t so disagreeable,” Buffy said. Spike’s eyes widened. Did I just imagine it, or did she defend me over her friends?
“I kicked them all out earlier,” said Buffy. She looked down for a minute. “I told them about heaven.”
Spike’s jaw dropped. He never thought she would ever actually tell them about that. “How did they take it?” he asked finally.
“Badly,” Buffy admitted. “But not as badly as when I told them they needed to deal with you being in my life.” She looked him straight in the eyes to see his reaction.
Time stopped. Spike couldn’t believe what he had just heard. She couldn’t mean… I heard her wrong. Finally he got enough control of his mouth to ask, “What… what was that, love?”
Buffy took both his hands in hers. “Spike, I need you as my friend. I think there’s a good chance we could be more than friends. I told my friends that I needed you around, and they could either treat you decent or get out of my life.”
Spike lost control of his jaw again. The Slayer had just said she wanted him around. “What brought this on, pet?” he said finally. “I know you’re grateful for the rescue, but… “
“No,” Buffy interrupted. “It’s not just because I’m grateful. It’s more than that.” She ran one hand down the side of his face tenderly.
He reached out in turn to stroke her hair. “What is it then?” He was afraid to hope.
“When I got pulled out of heaven, all I could think about was how awful it was here. Then I got a glimpse of what true hell was like. I almost got lost there. When you brought me out of there, it made me realize that I could live in the world again. But not like before. I’m not the same person. I can’t let my watcher and my friends dictate my life. I do need to take control of where I’m going. But I don’t have to do it unsupported. You’ve shown me that.” She reached for his hand with hers, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.
“You’re strong, Slayer,” he said tenderly. “You can survive all this – heaven, hell, life. But you’re right – you don’t have to figure it out all at once, or alone. Whatever you need from me, you’ve got. Just please…” He hesitated. Really don’t need my hopes crushed here.
“Spike?” Buffy asked, stroking his cheekbone. “What is it?”
Swallowing, the Slayer of Slayers whispered, “I’m afraid.” God, you’re such a ponce, William. But he needed her to know how he felt. They had gone through too much for him to start avoiding the truth with her now.
“Of what?”
Spike struggled to put the thoughts into words, “Holding you, caring for you, it’s given me more purpose than I’ve ever had. I just… don’t want to lose that.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “I guess I’m afraid I’m going to screw things up somehow. That you’ll decide that having a vampire in your life again is a poor prospect. I just don’t want to lose this…” He trailed off and looked down at their joined hands.
“You’ve been so strong through all this. I need someone strong in my life,” said Buffy. She lifted his chin to look into his blue eyes once more. “I’m moody, and I’m stubborn. I don’t know… how soon I can put all that happened in that other dimension behind me. The others can’t deal with that right now. Can you put up with me?”
“I think I can handle that,” Spike answered, smiling.
Buffy took her other hand and drew his face gently down. She kissed him gently, lingering on his lips for a long minute. When they broke the kiss, Spike fixed her with that look of awe that he seemed to reserve just for her. Then he drew her in to his chest and embraced her with complete contentment. He had no idea where this would go. But at least the seed had been planted.
The End
*******************
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Thank you to all my amazing reviewers!
*********
They were all dozing on the chairs in the waiting room when the nurse came back at midnight. Poor boy looks dead, the nurse thought sympathetically as she eyed Spike leaning against the wall with Dawn resting against his shoulder. He really should have seen a doctor. She put her hand on his knee and shook it. “Sir?”
Spike woke up and shook himself. “Yes?” he asked blearily. The others stirred and opened their eyes around him.
“Miss Summers is awake. Are you Spike?” the nurse asked, her eyebrow drifting upward again at the odd nickname.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“She’s asking for you.” The nurse led the way down the hall. Spike followed her, as the others looked at each other in bewilderment.
“Should we go too?” asked Willow.
“Of course! We’re her friends,” answered Xander. They all trooped down the hall after the nurse and Spike.
When they got to the room, the nurse was coming out. “She asked me to tell you to wait a moment. She wanted to talk to the young man alone.” The group looked at each other, wondering why Buffy would want to see Spike, but not them.
Spike closed the door softly and moved to the bedside. “Buffy? ‘M here, love.”
Buffy opened her eyes, and Spike thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world. “I wanted to see that you were ok,” she said by way of explanation.
“I’m not the one who’s in hospital, pet,” he replied, sitting down. He held her hand with one of his hands and stroked her hair gently with the other. “How are you feeling?”
“Ok, I guess. Only…” She stopped, and bit her lip. “This is going to sound like the most idiotic thing to be upset about…”
Spike cocked his head to one side. “It’s me, remember? What’s troubling you?”
Buffy turned her head and looked away for a minute, gathering her thoughts. Then she spoke quietly. “The doctor said… he said that I’ll probably never be able to have children after this.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke. “I know, it’s stupid. Like slayers ever live long enough to have children anyhow. I can’t even take care of Dawn! But still I…” She didn’t know how to express it.
“Would have been nice to have the option,” Spike finished. Buffy nodded, grateful for his understanding. “I kind of understand where you’re coming from. When I was alive, my ambition was to find myself a suitable wife and give my mother some grandchildren to dote on. That all sort of fell by the wayside after I was turned. I’m so sorry, love.” He squeezed her hand gently and wiped away an errant tear from her face.
“Don’t… don’t tell the others, ok?” she pleaded. “I don’t want to have to deal with them and… all that. Not right now.”
“I won’t, love,” he promised. Inwardly, he wished that Buffy would just get over her need to protect her friends from anything upsetting. Although he truly valued being her confidant, he felt like someday it was all going to come crashing down in an ugly way. Still, he knew he would never break her confidence. “Should we let the others in now?”
Buffy wiped her eyes on the back of her hands and sat up a bit. “I guess we should.” Spike turned to open the door. “Spike?” she called. He paused, turning to fix her with his adoring blue eyes. “Thank you. For everything.” she finished.
“Anytime, love,” Spike responded. God, I love this girl. He shook himself a bit, and opened the door. “Come on in, Slayer’s waiting,” he said to the assembled Scoobies.
They practically knocked Spike down in their eagerness to see Buffy. Dawn ran over and hugged her sister, tears of relief running down her face. Buffy for her part held her sister as tightly as she could.
“Buffy, how are you?” asked Giles when Dawn finally let go of her.
“I’m ok, Giles,” Buffy said in a tired voice. “I’m pretty sore.”
“Aw, you know you’ll be back in gear in no time,” Xander piped up.
Buffy froze for a moment. Something about his usual cheery banter just struck her like a blade. “What if I’m not?” she whispered.
The smile faded from Xander’s face to be replaced by a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”
Buffy fixed her friends with a haunted look. “I don’t know… if I can cope with this. You have… no idea how bad it was.” She twisted her hands nervously.
“Buffy, we’re here for you,” said Willow with a concerned voice. “I could look for a spell that would…”
“NO!” cried Buffy. “No spells. I just… I just…” Panicking, she looked to Spike, standing behind the others. He pushed his way past the others to her side. He sat down next to her on the bed and cradled her to his chest as she clung to him and shuddered.
“Just give her some time, for God’s sake,” he snapped at them. Jesus, just like when they brought her back from the grave. In her face and yammering a mile a minute. Have they no sense whatsoever? “She’s been through hell. You can’t expect her to bounce back like a rubber ball.”
Buffy continued to cling to Spike’s cool chest. It seemed the only comforting thing in the world right now. The Scoobies didn’t know what to think. Giles found his voice first. “We didn’t mean to overwhelm you. We’re just… glad you’re back.”
Buffy turned toward the others, still in the protective circle of Spike’s arms. “Please. Don’t take this wrong. But I just can’t deal right now. Can you please just go?” Her voice was uncharacteristically small.
“But… but Buffy we just want to…” Willow began.
She was cut short by Spike’s cold, hard voice. “You. Need. To. Leave.” His eyes flashed yellow briefly. The others were so stunned at the turn of events that they turned and slowly filed out. Dawn lingered behind. “Buffy?” she asked in a nervous voice. “Do you want me to go too?”
“Just for a little while, ok Dawnie?” Buffy responded. Dawn came over and hugged Buffy again. “I love you, Dawn. Remember that, ok?” Dawn sniffled and nodded. Then she left to join the others.
“Want me to leave too, love?” Spike asked quietly.
“No, stay. Please. Just stay here next to me.” She shifted over on the bed enough for him to stretch out next to her. Wondering at his good fortune, he stretched out next to her, letting her curl up with her head on his chest and his strong arms around her. “I’ve got you, Slayer. You’re safe here,” he crooned. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Spike had had an extremely long day. He planted a loving kiss on her hair, and fell asleep as well.
**********
“What the hell was that all about?” Xander snapped when they got out in the hall. “We get her out of hell again and she doesn’t even want to talk to us!”
“Could it be some sort of side effect from the spell?” asked Willow. Although she wasn’t as vocal about it as Xander, she too was hurt. Once again, not even a simple thank you? What did she want from them?
“Are you both blind?” cried Tara. They spun around to face her. “Are you that self absorbed?”
“Huh?” said Xander.
Tara was uncharacteristically angry. “Xander, did you not hear a word Spike said earlier? She’s been tortured for months! She gave birth to a demon less than 24 hours ago! And you two are going to get bent out of shape because she isn’t jumping up and down to see you?” Tara was completely flabbergasted at Willow and Xander’s pigheadedness.
“She seems fine with him though!” Xander continued, as though he hadn’t heard a word. “She escapes a world of demons and who does she turn to? Another demon? What the hell?”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Xander?” said Anya. She had kept her own counsel so far in this mess, but now too she had had enough. “She didn’t say she was never speaking to you again. She just needs to recover. “
“Just stop it! All of you!” screamed Dawn. They all stopped to look at the teen, who was nearly in tears. “This isn’t helping!” Dawn had started to become fully aware of how badly her sister had been hurt. It was insane that they were fighting over who had the right to comfort her.
Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “It’s been a very long day. Let’s just go home and get some sleep. We’re all on edge and Dawn is right – this is not helping.”
Xander shook his head in confusion. “Come on, Anya. Let’s go.” He turned and stalked off, with Anya following. Tara tugged Willow’s arm. Willow looked at Giles and Dawn, searching for some sort of answers. “Just take me home,” said Dawn quietly. Giles took one last look at Buffy’s door and then shepherded Dawn out.
********
The nurse who came in at about three in the morning to check on Buffy was surprised to find her with a companion. Spike opened his eyes when he heard her. “What are you doing here?” the nurse began. But Spike shook his head. “Shh. She’s asleep, yeah? Just let her rest,” he whispered.
The nurse was touched by the obvious tenderness in this man’s eyes as he looked at Buffy. She nodded and said, “You call if she needs something, ok?” Spike nodded, and the nurse left quietly. Spike looked back down at the sleeping woman in his arms. So beautiful. My God, I want nothing more than this. To hold her and watch her sleep. To have her trust me. This is heaven. Still a voice in the back of his head worried at him. When she recovered, would he be out on his ear again? The outcast? The hired muscle and the target for all the Scoobies’ scorn? After all he had gone through with her, he wasn’t sure he could bear it. She had trusted him, and needed him. To go back to being merely tolerated… He sighed quietly. Best enjoy it while it lasts.
************
Buffy woke up at one point to find that Spike was no longer on the bed. He was quietly making his way to the door. “Where are you going?” she asked, her voice fuzzy with sleep.
“Really need some clean clothes and some blood, pet,” he explained. Buffy noticed for the first time that he was still in his bloodstained jeans and an unfamiliar gray t-shirt. He returned to her side and kissed her forehead gently. “I promise I’ll be back later. You’ll be ok.”
“Hurry back,” she said softly. He smiled, then slipped out into the hallway. Buffy lay back on the bed, thinking. It had felt so right to be in his arms. She was still sore from the surgery, her leg was still mangled, and she nearly cried at the way her hand looked. But when he was holding her she felt safe. Protected. Warm, despite his low body temperature. He guarded her, but didn’t smother her. He had faith in her abilities to survive, but gave her support when she needed it. But he’s a vampire! She just couldn’t get her brain around that. He was a vampire with no soul. But somehow, he managed to control his demon and do the right thing for her sake. How can I get involved with a vampire again? she worried. But then another thought came into her head. How can I get through this without him? Which would be worse – dealing with the Scoobies’ disapproval or facing all this alone? She mulled these questions over and over in her mind for a long time.
*********
A couple hours later, Buffy was sitting up and enjoying breakfast. Food. Where have you been all my life? She wolfed down everything they brought her, and practically nibbled the design off the plates as well. Even the somewhat bland hospital food was like ambrosia after months of demon slop and roasted toad. As she was finishing up, her door opened and Giles entered.
“Good morning,” he said, glad to see her sitting up and eating. “Can I come in?” Buffy nodded with her mouth full of toast. Giles sat down in the chair at her bedside. “Did Spike leave?”
“He needed some clean clothes and something to eat,” Buffy answered. “He’ll be back later.”
Giles took a deep breath. “You seem to have become rather… close to Spike of late,” he observed.
Buffy frowned a bit. She wasn’t sure she liked the tone of his voice. “Spike took care of me, Giles. He kept me alive. He helped me deliver that… creature I had inside me. I owe him my life.”
“Yes, but are you sure he doesn’t have any ulterior motives? He is still a vampire, with no soul. I just don’t want…” Giles hesitated.
“What?” Buffy prompted. “What are you worried about?”
“I just want to know whether you are contemplating another relationship with a vampire. Under these circumstances, I fear your judgment may be clouded by your traumatic experience and that you may be blinded to Spike’s faults.”
“Giles, even before he came to rescue me, he was helping me,” Buffy explained. “He listened to me, helped me patrol. Before that he took care of Dawn, helped you guys all summer. Why are you all of a sudden deciding he is untrustworthy?”
“Buffy, I’m just concerned, that’s all,” Giles began. He was interrupted by the arrival of the other Scoobies. “Can we come in?” Dawn asked. Buffy sighed inwardly, but nodded.
Dawn came over and gave Buffy a hug. Willow looked around and asked, “Where’s Spike?”
“Probably took off to go to Willie’s,” muttered Xander.
Buffy pushed her breakfast tray to the side and sat up as straight as possible. Angrily she said, “Xander, do you think you could go for maybe one whole minute without ragging on Spike? Is it possible? Or is your diarrhea of the mouth a permanent condition?”
“You know, I don’t get it, Buffy,” barked Xander. “We bring you back from hell, and you barely speak to us. Spike does the same thing, which wouldn’t have happened without Willow’s spell by the way, and you’re his number one fan!”
Buffy closed her eyes for a minute. This had to stop. Looking down at her lap, she said in a low, tired voice, “I wasn’t in hell the first time.”
“What do you mean?” asked Giles, suddenly concerned.
Buffy looked around at all of them. “I was in heaven. I was in a warm place where I was loved. I was finished, at peace. And you guys dragged me out of there. Dragged me back here to fight and suffer. None of this would have happened if you had just left me alone. I’ve been going through hell every day since I got back. And all of you have been too busy patting each other on the back and saying ‘Good job’ to even notice how hard it has been for me.”
The Scoobies all found their jaws dropping at her revelation. Suddenly all her sadness, her disconnected behavior, and her depression made sense. “We didn’t know…” Willow started. The horror of what they had done crashed in on her. Heaven? I didn’t even consider that possibility. Xander shook his head in disbelief. Tara saw the pain in Buffy’s eyes and felt a crushing remorse for her own part in what had been done before.
“Buffy, why didn’t you tell anyone?” Giles asked. His own guilt weighed heavily on him. How could I have been so blind? Of course she’s been having trouble! I’m going on at her about being an adult when she can’t handle being alive.
“I told Spike,” she answered softly. “Spike listens. He doesn’t pity me, or try to fix me, or tell me to snap out of it. He just… listens. He takes me exactly as I am, not as he needs me to be.” She spoke up again in a stronger, more determined voice. “You are all going to have to get your brains around one thing. Spike is my friend. I need him around. I feel better when he’s around. I’m never going to heal from all this without his help. So you all have two choices. You can either deal with Spike being here and leave him be, or you can get the hell out of my life. I’m through with hiding what I need and what I am feeling to protect and please all of you. So make your choice.”
Willow’s eyes were wide as she stared at her friend. At that point, she noticed, for the first time, the faint marks on Buffy’s neck. They were fading, but clearly they were the mark of a vampire, and they were relatively new, not the old, nearly faded scars from Angel. “Did he bite you?” she cried. Buffy sighed, confirming Willow’s suspicions. “He bit you! How can you be sitting there defending him when he bit you?”
“What?” roared Xander. “Didn’t his chip fire? I’ll stake that son of a bitch right now…”
“Shut up!” screamed Buffy. She was nearly shaking with fury and stress. “He was injured, ok? He took on one of those demons after having not eaten in a week. There was nothing there for him to eat. He was afraid that he couldn’t defend me if he didn’t heal. So yeah, he took a few sips. Didn’t hurt me. Didn’t nearly drain me like Angel did. Barely took enough to heal. Even after I offered him some more freely he barely took any. I don’t know why his chip didn’t fire there. But I was completely out of it. Even when I came to I couldn’t walk or fight. He could have drained me any time he wanted. He could have turned me or done anything he damn well pleased. But he didn’t, even when he was desperate.”
Giles couldn’t believe what he was hearing. A starving, injured vampire with that degree of control? It was unheard of. He had never seen anything like that in any of the Watcher’s diaries. Slowly, he started to come to the conclusion that Buffy was right – something was different about Spike. But would it last? Would she end up having to destroy someone she cared about again? Would the others be in danger? He just didn’t know. After a bit of a pause he said, “Buffy, do you trust him?”
Buffy looked straight into Giles’ eyes. “I trust him with my life.”
Giles polished his glasses thoughtfully. “Buffy, you know my reservations about vampires. But if you feel that having Spike around will help you recover from all this, then I will trust your judgment,” he said finally.
“Giles!’ said Xander. “He’s a killer! He’s evil! How can you…”
“Xander, get out,” Buffy said with steel in her voice. “Get out of my room, out of my sight. Stay the hell away from me and Spike until you can get your brain around the idea that you do not run my life. I am the Slayer. I think I can handle one vampire. I need him around. Until you can accept that, just get out.” Xander sputtered, looking hurt and crushed. But in the end, he looked away from her cold, hard stare and turned to go. Anya followed, rolling her eyes at Xander’s stubborn prejudice.
Buffy turned to Willow. “I know you didn’t know I was in heaven. But coming back here was… a nightmare. I appreciate what you did to get me out of the demons’ dimension. From now on, though, I need to do things my way. If you want to stay in my house, and in my life, you had better accept that my way is not necessarily going to be your way. Spike is going to be in my life, period, full stop. If you don’t like that, then pack up and leave.”
Willow started to protest, but Tara laid a hand on her arm and shook her head. Willow bit her lip then said, “I… I don’t know what to do. I feel like this is all my fault…”
“Look,” said Buffy. “What’s done is done. What I need from you now is your support, and not your interference, and really, really not your magic. I may not be my old self ever again. I’m not going to act and respond the way I did before – that Buffy is dead. You need to accept that. “
Willow hesitated, then nodded, sniffling a bit. Tara took her hand and said, “Let’s leave her alone for a while, ok?” Buffy looked at Tara with gratitude as she led Willow out.
Dawn and Giles were left in the room with Buffy. Buffy turned to her sister. “Come here,” she said. Dawn came over and hugged Buffy. Buffy kissed her cheek and said, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable in your own home. Do you mind if Spike is there sometimes?”
Dawn nearly laughed in relief. “Duh! He’s like one of my best friends! He treats me like a grownup, helps me with my homework, of course he can come over!”
Giles watched as the sisters embraced again, with Buffy showing one of the first real smiles he had seen from her since her return from the grave. He was never going to be happy with his slayer associating with William the Bloody. But he sensibly realized he needed to keep his mouth shut. She truly had been through hell. If the vampire could help her heal, then he needed to stay out of the way.
The four Scoobies rode down to the parking garage in the elevator. Xander was still grumbling under his breath. Willow frowned and bit her lip, trying to decide what had happened. They parted ways in the garage, each couple moving off to their respective cars. Xander was still furious as he stalked through the garage. “There’s got to be something wrong with her. Maybe he’s got some sort of thrall on her or something.”
“Xander, I really don’t see what the problem is,” Anya began. Then they rounded a corner and practically ran into Spike coming toward them, having just exited one of Sunnydale’s many tunnels. He had showered and put on a fresh t-shirt and jeans, with a red shirt over the ensemble. He stopped and glared at Xander, sensing trouble.
“You,” growled Xander. “What did you do to her? She’s throwing her friends out of her life because of you.”
Spike had had it. The area was otherwise empty, so there was no one to notice when he slammed Xander up against the wall. The chip fired in a blinding flare of pain, but he didn’t care. Guess it still works on this asshole. Pity. Then, holding the squirming Xander against the wall, Spike got within inches of his face and spoke in a low, menacing tone. “Do you love Anya?”
Xander spluttered, “Of course I do. What does that have to do with you and Buffy?”
Spike continued in that same tone, “I want to imagine that you came home from work to find Anya naked, beaten, and raped on your kitchen floor. I want you to imagine what that would feel like – to see someone you love in that state.” Spike’s voice cracked with emotion. “Then I want you to imagine that there is nothing you can do to get back at the bastard who did it to her. That’s what I went through for the past two weeks. Only what they did to the woman I love was 10 times worse.” The chip kept sending out shocks, but he just winced, ground his teeth and held Xander in place.
“You don’t love her,” Xander spat out. “You’ve got some sick obsession with her, but it’s not love. Demons can’t love.”
“What do you know, Xander?” said Anya. Both men turned to look at her. “Hello? Demon for a thousand years here! Of course demons can love. I didn’t suddenly start to love only because I became human.” Clearly I need to work on this man’s ignorance of the demon world, she thought.
“If Anya was lying there in that hospital bed, and everyone was saying that she should stay away from you, how do you think she’d feel?” Spike continued, determined to get through to this thick skulled idiot. “All I want is for Buffy to get better. That’s it. I intend to protect and support her every second, for as long as she needs me.” Spike’s nose started bleeding from the chip firing constantly, but he held on.
Xander stared at Spike for another minute. “All right,” he finally said, holding up his hands. Spike let go and stepped back, putting his hand to his temple in pain. “If the slayer wants you around, I’m not going to argue with her. But I don’t trust you. I will never trust you. And the second Buffy wises up and wants you gone I will personally stake you myself.” He shoved past Spike and stomped down to the car. Anya rolled her eyes again, shot an apologetic glance at Spike, and followed.
Spike dug a bandana out of his pocket to wipe his bleeding nose. Fuck, that hurt. Maybe I finally got through to the wanker. Not going to hold my breath though. He took the elevator and walked down the hall to Buffy’s room, dabbing at his nose and rubbing his temple.
He arrived in time to see the doctor leave. Is she ok? He sped up and almost leaped into the room. To his relief he saw her there, clearly tired but ok, and conversing with Giles and Dawn. She smiled when he came in. He lingered by the doorway for a moment. “Um, Dawn, could you…” He raised his eyebrows to indicate the open shade. Dawn scurried across to draw the curtain so that Spike could approach the bed. “Thanks, Nibblet,” he murmured gratefully. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah. The doctor was saying that they want to do surgery on my leg and my hand tomorrow or the day after.” Buffy still sounded so tired to Spike’s ears. Spike crossed to her and took her hand. Giles stood up at that point. “I think you two might need some time alone. Dawn, would you like to go get something from the cafeteria?” he asked. Dawn really wanted to stay, but when she saw Buffy and Spike staring deeply into each other’s eyes, she understood Giles’ point and followed him out.
“Did you know your nose is bleeding?” Buffy asked. “What happened?”
“Ran into Xander in the parking garage and had a few words.”
“Did he hit you? I’ll break his arm,” Buffy growled.
“No, love, he didn’t hit me,” Spike replied. “I shoved him against the wall for being an ass. Made my chip fire. Guess it still works on this side of the barrier. I didn’t hurt him,” Spike finished quickly. Last thing he needed was for her to start thinking he was somehow a danger to her mates.
“I’m so irritated with him that I would suggest eating him, if he wasn’t so disagreeable,” Buffy said. Spike’s eyes widened. Did I just imagine it, or did she defend me over her friends?
“I kicked them all out earlier,” said Buffy. She looked down for a minute. “I told them about heaven.”
Spike’s jaw dropped. He never thought she would ever actually tell them about that. “How did they take it?” he asked finally.
“Badly,” Buffy admitted. “But not as badly as when I told them they needed to deal with you being in my life.” She looked him straight in the eyes to see his reaction.
Time stopped. Spike couldn’t believe what he had just heard. She couldn’t mean… I heard her wrong. Finally he got enough control of his mouth to ask, “What… what was that, love?”
Buffy took both his hands in hers. “Spike, I need you as my friend. I think there’s a good chance we could be more than friends. I told my friends that I needed you around, and they could either treat you decent or get out of my life.”
Spike lost control of his jaw again. The Slayer had just said she wanted him around. “What brought this on, pet?” he said finally. “I know you’re grateful for the rescue, but… “
“No,” Buffy interrupted. “It’s not just because I’m grateful. It’s more than that.” She ran one hand down the side of his face tenderly.
He reached out in turn to stroke her hair. “What is it then?” He was afraid to hope.
“When I got pulled out of heaven, all I could think about was how awful it was here. Then I got a glimpse of what true hell was like. I almost got lost there. When you brought me out of there, it made me realize that I could live in the world again. But not like before. I’m not the same person. I can’t let my watcher and my friends dictate my life. I do need to take control of where I’m going. But I don’t have to do it unsupported. You’ve shown me that.” She reached for his hand with hers, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.
“You’re strong, Slayer,” he said tenderly. “You can survive all this – heaven, hell, life. But you’re right – you don’t have to figure it out all at once, or alone. Whatever you need from me, you’ve got. Just please…” He hesitated. Really don’t need my hopes crushed here.
“Spike?” Buffy asked, stroking his cheekbone. “What is it?”
Swallowing, the Slayer of Slayers whispered, “I’m afraid.” God, you’re such a ponce, William. But he needed her to know how he felt. They had gone through too much for him to start avoiding the truth with her now.
“Of what?”
Spike struggled to put the thoughts into words, “Holding you, caring for you, it’s given me more purpose than I’ve ever had. I just… don’t want to lose that.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “I guess I’m afraid I’m going to screw things up somehow. That you’ll decide that having a vampire in your life again is a poor prospect. I just don’t want to lose this…” He trailed off and looked down at their joined hands.
“You’ve been so strong through all this. I need someone strong in my life,” said Buffy. She lifted his chin to look into his blue eyes once more. “I’m moody, and I’m stubborn. I don’t know… how soon I can put all that happened in that other dimension behind me. The others can’t deal with that right now. Can you put up with me?”
“I think I can handle that,” Spike answered, smiling.
Buffy took her other hand and drew his face gently down. She kissed him gently, lingering on his lips for a long minute. When they broke the kiss, Spike fixed her with that look of awe that he seemed to reserve just for her. Then he drew her in to his chest and embraced her with complete contentment. He had no idea where this would go. But at least the seed had been planted.
The End
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