AN: Thanks to Oracleholly for betaing this - and so fast :-)

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Giles …. I love you. Love … love, love, love, love. Giles, it feels strange."

Frowning at his Slayer's odd behaviour, Giles perched himself on the coffee table and tried to think of a solution to this newest problem.

"Well, I shouldn't wonder. How serious are you about this?"

Walking past him and taking a seat on the couch, Buffy shot him a determined look.

"Ten. I'm serious to the amount of ten."

"There is something… in the Watcher's diaries … a quest."

"A quest?" Buffy asked confused ""Like finding a grail or something?" How was that supposed to help her?

"Not a grail. Maybe answers. It would take a day, perhaps two."

All hope of finding a quick solution left Buffy at that statement. There was no way she could leave her sister alone. Not with a crazed Hellgod after her. And certainly not if the only reason was that she had trouble dealing with her emotions.

"I'm not leaving Dawn. Not with Glory looking for her."

"Some Slayers before you found it helpful in … regaining their focus, learning more about their role. There's a scared place in the desert. It's, it's not far."

"No Giles. It might help – or not, but I really don't think this is the right time. Let's get this thing with Glory over with first. If I still need answers once Dawn is safe we'll go, but not now."

Seeing him nodding in relief at her decision, Buffy realized that Giles had been as worried as her at the prospect of leaving the others alone. Nevertheless, he had been willing to put her first.

Suddenly the blonde felt bad for having put him in this situation. It was not like she was the only one having trouble dealing at the moment, but instead of working through it with Dawn – as she had promised the teen just a few days before – she was asking her Watcher to find a quick fix.

Having agreed to wait, Slayer and Watcher turned to more mundane things such as what to do with Dawn while Buffy was out on patrol.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Staring in shock at the sight before her Buffy squeezed her eyes tightly shut, hoping when she opened them again the hideous image would be gone.

Even going crazy and having hallucinations would be better than this. However, she was not to be spared tonight. When she took another glance through the bushes, the couple was still there.

It just wasn't possible. She must have gone nuts from the grief of loosing her mother. She was definitely not seeing herself fucking Spike into the ground on that clearing over there. What the hell was going on here?

Repressing her first impulse of confronting them, the other Buffy, whatever, she decided to wait and observe a bit longer. If she could figure out who that bitch was, she could avoid having to ask questions before she beat up the stupid vamp for having the audacity to bang a Buffy-look-alike.

They didn't stay long. Thank god for that, at least she'd be spared having to watch more of their antics. Especially since she wasn't getting any lovin’ herself since Riley had left, and was it hot out here? Shut up brain!

And now they were … what the hell? They were patrolling? The nerve of that vampire! He was probably pretending that bitch was her. As if she would ever lower herself to hang out with that evil, disgusting … thing. Much less do anything else with him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

After following the pair for nearly an hour, Buffy finally found herself back at the crypt. Still unsure who or what the … thing that looked like her was, she crept closer and pressed her ear to the door trying to catch some of their conversation. She hoped it might help her figure this out. And it did, oh how it did. She had only heard a voice this chipper and pronounced once before. April! Warren's icky robot.

Spike made Warren make him a robo-me? To do … that with? Oh, he's sooo dead!

Furious, the Slayer kicked the door open, nearly shattering it in her wake. The crash alerted both occupants to her presence, but neither managed as much as a surprised shout before she advanced on the blonde vampire. Had she not been so angry, Buffy might have laughed at his panicked expression. As it was, she didn't even notice.

Grabbing him by the throat she slammed Spike into the wall before he could as much as try to distract or calm her.

Buffy had, however, forgotten about the 'bot. Suddenly she was ripped away from her target and propelled across the crypt without getting in a single punch. Shocked, she started at the robot wearing her face, worried Spike might finally have found a way to fight her again. And I'm so not excited at that thought!

However, her worry melted into confusion when he, instead of ordering his toy to attack her, called it back and sent it to the lower level of the crypt.

Did he really just give up the perfect opportunity to finally have me killed? … Nah, he probably knows his toy doesn't have a chance against the real Slayer and hopes to avoid a dusting by playing nice.

Satisfied to have once again found a way to twist the reason behind the vampire’s actions to her liking, Buffy attacked.

Eyes blazing with righteous fury she slammed him back into the wall and used the hand not chocking his neck to pummel his face. The crunch his nose made when it broke only inflamed her further rather then calming her ire. Spike’s refusal to fight back added to her fury, as she conveniently forgot his chip prevented him from defending himself from her.

Stepping back, she finished her assault with a solid kick to his temple, panting with exhilaration when he slumped to the floor.

Wondering whether to wait for Spike to wake up so she could make him regret having the robot build some more, or find the toy and destroy it, Buffy was interrupted by the crypt-door banging open. Turning in bewilderment she was stunned to find herself face to face with a group of Glory's ugly minions. What the hell are they doing here?

They attacked as soon as they recognized her, yelling in excitement at being able to not only retrieve the key but the Slayer as well.

Despite being a much better fighter, Buffy soon realized that she was helpless against so many of them. Panicked she cried out for the vampire to help her, but he had not yet recovered from the blow she had dealt him. His unconscious form had long since been carried outside by a small group of minions.

Focusing her anger once more on the useless vampire – this was all his fault anyway; had he not build the 'bot, she wouldn't have had to beat him up and he'd be able to help her now – she managed to take down two more of the little brown-robed demons before six of them took hold of her arms and legs, effectively incapacitating her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Slayer yanked at the chains holding her to the wall with all her might. She had been doing this for nearly an hour now to no avail. Stupid well-prepared enemies! Who would have thought that the Hellbitch's brainless minions would be the ones to remember to use enhanced chains? Not even the Council lackeys last year had thought of that.

Despite her struggling, the ugly little guys had managed to get both her and Spike to Glory's penthouse with only minor problems. Once there they had separated her from the slowly awakening vampire and chained her up in an empty room. Apparently the Hellgod was more interested in Spike than in her. It made sense, after all the minions had seemed surprised by her presence in the crypt; they obviously had come looking for the blonde vampire.

The longer they left her alone, the more worried Buffy became. What could they possibly be doing so long? From all the yelling in the crypt, she had gathered that Glory thought Spike to be the key. Well, he would have convinced her otherwise pretty fast – and it was not like she cared if the god sliced him open anyway.

No, what worried the Slayer was that the vampire had probably jumped at the chance to make a deal with the bitch. They should be done by now though. So the only explanation for why they were leaving her alone this long was that the god had gone off to capture Dawn right away. Buffy had really hoped Glory would come to see her first; maybe she would have been able to stop her.

The Slayer had been mulling over those morose thoughts since about ten minutes after she had been locked away. Ever since then she had entertained herself with imagining different ways of making the vampire pay for betraying her sister – much more fun than thinking of her only family scared and bleeding in front of the crazy god.

That annoying voice in her head had tried to tell her that she didn't know whether Spike had done any such thing, but like always she had been fast to silence it. She knew him, of that she was absolutely certain. And he would happily jump at the chance to cause her pain. He was a vampire after all, that's what he did!

Finally the door to her room opened and instantly Buffy could hear the Hellgod's angry voice. Damn those expensive apartments; the walls are sound-proved.

Anxious to find out what had upset the god – maybe she hadn't been able to find Dawn; I might still have a chance to save my sister – the Slayer didn't even struggle when the minions unlocked her chains from the wall and lead her still tied up form towards the other room.

Oh god!

The sight that greeted her when she stepped through the doorway stopped her in her tracks. This weren't two evil beings who had just made a deal. This was a vampire who had been tortured by a Hellgod for the last hour. And going by the anger radiating off said god, he hadn't given her what she wanted.

As Buffy absorbed the sight in front of her, the annoying voice came back. Only now it was angry. It felt like someone was yelling inside her head. Mom? Telling her this was all her fault. That she was an awful person for having taken pleasure in imagining ways of destroying him; all the while, he was being beaten for protecting her secrets.

The Slayer started to realize that Spike was someone who was willing to die to protect her sister; and not only had she allowed his torture to happen, she had refused to even consider the possibility that he might be on her side - because it would muck up her world-view. How petty was that?

Had she been the person she believed herself to be, shouldn't she have spent the last hour hoping he would not betray her instead of congratulating herself to her supposed knowledge that he would? Shouldn't she have felt concern about Spike's condition when she saw him instead of anger at being proven wrong?

Ashamed, the blonde Slayer couldn't bare to look at the vampire's battered face in fear of meeting his eyes. And she really didn't want to know how much of the blood and bruises marring his face were courtesy of Glory and how much was her own work. Oh god, she had started it. The Hellgod had only continued where she had left off. She had unwittingly helped the bitch that was after her sister.

Had the minions not chosen that moment to yank at her chains and propel her forward so they could once more secure them to a wall, Buffy was sure she would have collapsed and gotten sick all over the expensive carpet.

"Ahh, the Slayer. Very nice Jinx, maybe I'll forget about you not finding my key … this time. … If she's more talkative then the vampire, that is."

Dismissing the minion, Glory turned her attention to Buffy.

"I see you trained your pet-vampire well, Slayer. He refused to tell me where my key is. Odd, considering Jinxy here told me when he arrived you were beating him. But then, I always found that pain and fear are perfect ways to make my followers abide my wishes. … Anyway, let's hope you're easier to … convince."

"Now wait a second there … bitch. You won't touch her, or … or you'll never know who your key is."

While Buffy was still reeling from the shock of hearing Glory compare herself to her, Spike had jumped into the conversation. Hearing the vampire, she had labelled in her thoughts as someone trying to destroy her, coming to her defence was nearly more then the shaken Slayer could bear. He let a Hellgod torture him without giving in and the mere threat of the same being done to me has him spilling his guts? In what kind of strange world did I end up?

The real one! That voice again. Buffy was really beginning to hate the smug tone of voice it had adapted.

God, listen to me! I'm fighting with myself.

The inner conflict distracted the young blonde enough to stop her from interrupting the vampire. As soon as she came back to herself she panicked, thinking she had missed her chance to stop him from telling Glory about Dawn; that was until his words finally registered with her.

"She doesn't know anything. 's not the one who has your key, ya got yourself the wrong Slayer."

What the hell was Spike saying? She wasn't the one who protected the key? Another Slayer? Was he sending the god after Faith? Sure, she hated the other Slayer, but she couldn't let him send Glory after her.

Just as Buffy opened her mouth to contradict him, he said something else, effectively silencing her once again.

"They seem the same, monks made sure of it. 't was a trick to throw you off. I only noticed ‘cos they smell different."

Another Slayer that looks like me? Buffy was officially confused now. Only after Spike claimed that the Slayer who was responsible for the key was still at his crypt did his plan become clearer to her.

He was sending Glory after the robot - clever. Or it would have been, if the god had planned to let them go once she had the information she wanted. Unfortunately she merely sent her minions out to retrieve the 'other' Slayer. Buffy still didn't get it; what was he planning?

~*~*~*~*~*~

It didn't take the minions long to return with the robot in tow. Glory had spent the intervening time ranting and raging at them, while Buffy had tried to catch Spike's eye and somehow get him to give her some hint about his plan. He was evading her gaze though. Ok, so it has probably more to do with the fact that his eyes are swollen shut than with any deliberate action on his part, but still.

The yelling in her head was getting louder too. Again that stupid voice. Now, it was annoyed, nagging her about trying to blame the vampire once again for something that was not his fault at all.

Buffy pouted. She was trying really hard to sort it all out in her head. It was difficult to break a habit that she had nurtured for so long. And the wave of self-disgust that rolled over her every time she reverted back into denying the change in the blond vampire didn’t help. At least, not if I don't want to goad Glory into attacking me by messing up her carpet.

Upon its arrival the 'bot instantly tried to get to Spike. It was obvious to Buffy that it had been programmed to protect the vampire.

What is his plan? The bot's behaviour lead to only one possible answer about the identity of the key, and Glory already knew that Spike wasn't who she was looking for.

"This is the right one. Go on bitch, ask her about Warren." Spike taunted the god.

As soon as the robot became aware that the blonde with the bad perm was a threat toward her creator, she forgot all about the vampire.

Glory had barely finished ordering her minions to fetch 'Warren' when the 'bot suddenly shrugged off its captors and threw itself at the god.

It must have gone into some sort of super-protector mode, Buffy thought idly. There was no way this was the same robot that she had seen fight vampires earlier; it seemed much stronger now.

Fortunately for the blonde Slayer, one of the minions got kicked her way during the fight and his impact was enough to loosen her chains. Another hard yank and she had ripped them clear from the wall. Rubbing her sore wrists – still in shackles, she pondered whether to join the fight.

Her focus centered on the heavily bleeding vampire still hanging from the ceiling though. With Glory occupied for the moment and the uncertainty about how the robot would react to another fighter, Buffy considered her options. The bot might attack her as well if she approached it. No, it was definitely better to try and free Spike. Hopefully they would manage to escape before the 'bot was destroyed.

A little voice in her head suggested that she leave him there, but to her astonishment the blonde Slayer found it much easier to silence this cruel side of herself than it had ever been where the other part was concerned.

The surprise in Spike's face when she released his chains had Buffy pale in shame. Realizing that she had been so horribly unfair to him that he thought she'd leave him behind was awful; especially considering what he had just done for her. She would have to make sure he understood that she got it now.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Their escape had been easier than Buffy expected. Even slowed down by the barely conscious vampire's weight, she was out of the building in mere minutes. It helped that any minions they encountered completely ignored them, since the ugly little guys had been too occupied with aiding their mistress in her fight with the enraged robot.

Not stopping for fear of Glory coming after them once she got rid of the bot, Buffy hurried back to her house.

The Slayer recalled that Dawn was out with her friends during patrol time, so nobody saw her bring Spike inside the house. For that she was grateful. No one was there to stare in wonder of the chains still hanging from her wrists or at the vampire she half-carried, half-drug into the house.

Hearing his whispered "Thanks" when she invited him into the house, Buffy had to suppress a shudder. Remembering the heartbroken look he had given her upon discovering the dis-invite, after what they had just been through twisted her insides.

How could I have been such a bitch? No, not bitch. Bitch was not strong enough a word for the way I behaved. I've been a monster. A monster who gets her kicks out of dragging others down to her level.

Carefully placing the vampire on the couch, Buffy ignored the sick feeling in her stomach. Now was not the time for self-recrimination. First, she had to help Spike back on his feet; she could beat up her inner bitch later.

With a quick call to Willow, Buffy made sure that Dawn wouldn’t be returning home that night. She had been abrupt with her friend, but that couldn't be helped. Taking care of the now completely unconscious vampire on her couch was her top-priority right now.

She had been grateful that Spike’s unconsciousness saved him from the pain undoubtably caused by moving him and tending to his wounds. After bandaging him carefully, Buffy hurried into the kitchen in hopes of finding some leftover blood in the fridge. Her mother had always kept a supply in case the blonde vampire stopped by.

There wasn't any. Then she remembered, she had thrown away all the packets her mother had been keeping when she was trying to convince everyone that Spike was a danger to them. And how stupid had that been anyway? No wonder her mother had looked at her funny; after all he had had an invite since before the chip.

Shaking her head, Buffy forced herself to stop that train of thought. Not now. This is not the time. Got to concentrate on making him better.

The solution came after Buffy tried to pick up a glass she had dropped in her hurried search. With her hands still shaking, she had managed to cut her palm in her haste to throw away some of the larger shards. She stopped in her task to stare, completely mesmerized at the blood.

I'm bleeding. Bleeding? Blood! Spike!

Acting fast, she pressed her other hand over the cut to avoid dripping blood all over the floor and hurried back into the living room. With no hesitation, no thoughts of him being undeserving and no feelings of this being icky, Buffy simply grasped the unconscious vampire's chin with her uninjured hand and pried his mouth open. Holding the still bleeding palm to his lips, she flexed the muscles in her arm to make it flow harder.

Watching in fascination when he instinctively started swallowing, Buffy let out a relieved sigh and dropped into the chair next to the couch. Everything would be ok.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike awoke to the strange feeling of something foreign in his mouth. Confused, he lifted a hand to his face, groping for whatever it was. He discovered an arm. Now even more confused, he lifted the appendage and followed it with his eyes, only to find Buffy sleeping in a chair by his side.

Shaking off the last remnants of sleep, he was finally able to make sense out of what he was seeing. Or better stated, he recognized what his eyes were telling him. Because nothing was making sense right now. Why would the Slayer sleep with her hand in his mouth? And why was he in her house? Hadn't she dis-invited him only last week?

Then he remembered Glory and their escape, thanks to the robot attacking the Hellgod. So he hadn't been dreaming; the Slayer had really freed him and invited him back into her house. Still didn't explain the hand though. And no matter how he tried, he couldn't remember anything after being dropped onto the couch.

Experience told him Buffy would have put him there and left.

Instead, he could feel bandages covering his arms and torso - and shouldn't he be in much worse shape after what Glory did? Something wasn't right here.

Carefully shaking the arm he was still holding, he called out to the sleeping girl. He hoped the Slayer wouldn’t be too annoyed with him waking her; he needed answers now. Besides, Spike knew that she couldn't be very comfortable curled up in the chair like she was.

Roused by someone calling her name, Buffy slowly opened her eyes. She started at the vampire on her couch for a few seconds as the memories of last night rushed back; which really was no surprise, seeing as how those events had haunted her even in her dreams.

The Slayer had sat watch over Spike for hours until sleep finally claimed her, using the silence to reflect on everything that had happened – and made a few decisions.

Anxious to see his reaction to the changes she had decided to make and hoping she wasn't setting herself up for disappointment, she forgot all about the speech she had so painstakingly prepared the night before.

"So uh, remember that chance you asked for? Well, you've got it. If you still want it … me, that is."

Stunned and at a complete loss for words, Spike could do nothing but only stare at her.