Setting: Season 4 after Doomed
Author's Notes: Spike realized he loves Buffy after Something Blue. Buffy never went to find Riley at the end of Doomed. Hey, it could’ve happened that way. You don’t know. “ ” means speech and ‘ ’ means thoughts.
Warning: This is un-beta’d, so any mistakes are mine. This story has sexual situations, so if you aren’t old enough, please don’t read. My Buffy does not act as bitchy towards Spike, so if you only want strictly canon characterizations, this may not be the story for you.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything!
Feedback: Yes, please. Any comments would be appreciated.



Spike was sloshed. He was aware of that fact, but there didn’t seem to be much he could do about it now. He hadn’t meant to get pissed, but he was just so bored. He finally knew that he could hurt demons, and nobody would go with him. What was a bloke supposed to do if he couldn’t kill things? As he stumbled down the street, he had the thought that it probably wasn’t such a good idea to be out in the open when those soldier boys were after him. Wandering into a nearby cemetery, he tripped over a headstone.

“Shtupid dead people,” he slurred. “Wash where yer goin’.” He turned over until he was facing the offending grave and glared.

“Spike? Is that you?” Buffy didn’t know why she cared, but she had to find the reason why the chipped vampire was sitting on his butt, in the middle of a graveyard, with that cute little disgruntled look on his face. ‘Wait. Not cute! It’s Spike, there is no cuteness there.’

“Shlayer! Wha’ you doin’ ‘ere, luv?” Looking up into the face of the woman he loved, Spike’s glare turned into a sappy grin.

“Are you drunk?” She didn’t even have to ask. As soon as she got a whiff of him, she knew. Hands on her hips, Buffy gave Spike one of her intimidating slayer looks. “Spike, why are you drunk in the middle of the cemetery? You know the Initiative is still after you.”

“I was juss on my way ‘ome when this shtupid rock got in my way,” he pouted, shooting said rock another glare. “I’s goin’ on ‘bout my businesh when ‘e jumped outta nowhere!”

“Spike,” she sighed. ‘Look at that lip. So soft and lickable, waiting for me to taste it. What am I thinking? I do not want to taste Spike’s lips. Just because I already know how perfectly they fit against mine doesn’t mean I need to repeat it.’ Shaking her head, Buffy continued, “Come on, we need to get you out of here. Riley and the commandoes could come by at any time. My mom’s out of town, so you can just stay at my house tonight. I am not carrying you all the way to Xander’s.”

“Thanksh Shlayer. I dint know you cared.” Spike gave her another happy grin, and closed his eyes.

“I do not!” she shrieked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s just go.” Buffy helped him up and let him lean on her with one arm around his waist. She’d never realized how good they fit together. He was the perfect size for her. Only a couple of inches taller, Spike didn’t overwhelm her with his presence. His lean, muscular body felt amazing rubbing against hers. ‘Bad thoughts. Spike does not feel good.’

As they neared her house, Buffy noticed that Spike was sniffing her neck. “What the hell are you doing?! My neck is off limits buster.” She tried to suppress the shiver of reaction that flowed through her body, but failed.

“Mmm,” he purred. “You shmell so good pet.” He gave her neck a little lick. “Tashte good too.”

“What?!” ‘Spike did not just say that. He hates me.’ She tried to tell herself that it didn’t mean anything, but she could not deny the warm feeling, deep in her belly, when his tongue touched her skin. She could feel the cool air hitting the wet spot on her neck, and shivered again just thinking about it.

“I shaid, you shmell good. Juss like vanilla and sunshine, with a li’l touch of shlayer musk. Mmm,” he sniffed again, “My favrit shcent.”

“Ookay. I definitely think we need to get you into bed, so you can sleep it off.” Buffy dragged him through the front door and up the stairs, then pulled him into her room. “You can sleep in here, and I’ll sleep in my mom’s room.” She lead him over to the bed and went to her dresser to get her pajamas. Next, she went over to the window and made sure that the shades were firmly closed. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go change clothes, and you can get ready for bed. Just don’t touch anything.” She flew from the room, trying to escape Spike and all the weird feelings he invoked. Maybe if she got away from his presence for a few minutes, she could think straight again.

After she left the room, Spike started to get undressed. He laid his duster on a chair and kicked off his boots and socks. He went to pull off his shirt, but his arms got stuck. When he realized he couldn’t escape, he panicked. “Shlayer! Help!”

Buffy ran back into the room, ready to fight. Once she saw that they weren’t under attack, she stared at Spike and busted out laughing. “What are you doing? Losing the battle to the big bad t-shirt?”

“‘S not funny. I can’t get out!”

Buffy walked over to him, and while trying to contain her amusement, helped him escape the evil shirt. Spike started unbuttoning his jeans. “Whoa! Those things stay on mister. I do not want your naked parts touching my clean sheets.“ She grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his zipper.

“But, I always shleep naked.,” Spike pouted with arms crossed over his chest.

Once she could speak again, after swallowing massive amounts of drool, Buffy said “Well, you’re not going to tonight.” She pushed him down onto the bed, and got him under the covers. When she went to leave, Buffy realized that he was holding her hand. She tried to pull it away, but he just pulled her back until she was sprawled across his chest.

“Wantchoo ta shleep ‘ere too,” Spike mumbled, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

“No, Spike. We are not sleeping together. Me slayer, you vampire. Remember?”

“Please?” He looked so adorable in that moment, with his big blue eyes pleading, and his hair rumpled from his battle with the t-shirt, that she couldn’t say no.

“Fine,” she sighed. “But, if you ever tell anyone about this, you’re dust. Well, let me under the covers. You’re not going to hog them all.”

Spike happily moved over, and helped her get situated. When she was finally ready, he pulled her tight against his body and held on. “‘S one o’ the reashons why I love you Shlayer. You always make everyone elshe happy inshtead o’ yourshelf,” he whispered.

Buffy froze as soon as the words left his mouth. “What did you say?” But he was already snoring. ‘He couldn’t possibly mean that. He’s drunk. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying’ Then, a little voice inside of her head spoke up telling her that people usually tell the truth when they’re drunk. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t love him.’ Even though she told herself that, she couldn’t deny the warm, fuzzy feelings that enveloped her when she thought of Spike’s whispered declaration. Then, she did the only thing she could. She snuggled back into his body and went to sleep.


****
As soon as he woke up, Spike realized three very important things before he even opened his eyes. Number one, if he moved even an inch, his head would explode. Number two, instead of being tied to a chair in the Whelp’s basement, he was lying in a soft, warm bed. Number three, he wasn’t alone in said soft, warm bed. He flexed his fingers and was surprised to feel them around a plump, full breast.

Intrigued, Spike took a chance and opened his eyes as slowly as possible. Once the world stopped spinning, he looked around and realized he was in the Slayer’s bedroom. And logically, if he was in the Slayer’s bedroom, then the heated body molded to his was probably her. Moving slowly, Spike craned his neck so he could look into the face of the woman he was holding so possessively. After almost yelping in shock when Buffy’s features were revealed, Spike quickly came to two conclusions. Either he was dreaming, or he was about to be staked once Buffy woke up. Since the pounding in his head assured him that the first option wasn’t true, Spike decided to enjoy his last few moments on Earth in the arms of the woman he loved.

Moving carefully, so he wouldn’t wake her, Spike slipped his hand under the hem of the small t-shirt Buffy was sleeping in. Slowly, the hand crept up her stomach, stopping just under her breasts. He took a deep breath, and held it while inching his hand up a little farther. When he came into contact with the bare skin of her firm mounds, Spike thought he would pass out from the pleasure.

Sensing no disturbance in her breathing pattern, he lightly squeezed. Buffy moaned and pushed her breast harder into his hand. He could feel her nipple digging into his palm, begging for attention. He could smell her arousal perfuming the air, and wondered what she was dreaming about. After pinching the hard nub a few times, Spike went to work on her other breast.

Buffy’s breathing sped up, and she moaned again. Then in a breathy whimper, she spoke. “Spike.” He froze in a mixture of shock and fear, as Buffy slowly opened her eyes. Then, she did something that will forever amaze him. She rubbed her firm ass against his already hard cock and moaned again. “More,” Buffy demanded.

Afraid she would come to her senses and change her mind, Spike quickly reached over and turned Buffy towards him. He took her face in his hands, and kissed her for the first time of their own free will. As much as he loved to fantasize about the Will Be Done spell, it was nothing compared to the real thing. His lips moved hungrily over hers as his fingers tangled themselves in her hair. Breaking apart to allow Buffy air, Spike stared into her eyes. Panting needlessly, he paused before finally speaking. “Are you sure you wanna do this, luv?” He held his breath waiting for her answer.

Buffy thought about the question, and she wondered. Did she really want to do this? Did she want to have sex with Spike, an evil, soulless vampire? Then she thought about last night. He had said he loved her. Plus, he held her while she slept all night and was still here when she woke up. Usually, her sleep was restless, spent tossing and turning. She always had too much on her mind, like the fate of the world, to go under too deeply. But not last night. Last night was one of the best nights of sleep she’d had since she’d been called. All wrapped up in Spike’s arms, she felt safe and loved. She trusted him to take care of her while she was most vulnerable. So, did she want to have sex with Spike? No. Did she want to make love with him? “Yes. Spike, I’m sure.”

He let out the breath he was holding in a rush of air. “You won’t be sorry kitten.” He kissed her lips softly. “I’m gonna make it so good for you.” He sat up and slowly removed her shirt. She fidgeted nervously, and looked everywhere but at him. Spike groaned raggedly as he stared at her soft, creamy breasts. “God, kitten, you’re so beautiful.” He leaned forward and took one of her firm peaks into his mouth and bit down lightly. With his other hand, he massaged her neglected breast, pinching and twisting her nipple.

Buffy moaned and grabbed the back of his head to make sure he wouldn’t stop. “Spike,” she whimpered. He looked up at her questioningly. “I want to feel you too.” He moaned, then jumped off the bed and hurriedly shed his jeans. Buffy gasped as she saw his naked body for the first time. He was beautiful. All hard muscle and smooth skin. She’d had an idea of what he was hiding under all that black, she but never imagined that his body was so perfect.

Spike stopped and posed for a couple seconds, enjoying the admiration he saw in her eyes. Then, with his trademark smirk firmly in place, he started prowling toward the bed. Buffy’s heartbeat sped up and her breathing increased. She could actually feel the juices leaving her body as they soaked her panties.

As soon as he reached her, Spike pulled Buffy towards him, and yanked off the boxers she’d been using as pajama bottoms. When she was clad only in her tiny blue thong, already drenched in her excitement, she held her arms out to him. Spike went into her arms and gave her a slow, lingering kiss. Then, he got down on his knees, placing his hands on Buffy’s hips, and nuzzled his nose into her crotch. “Pet, you smell so good,” he spoke hoarsely. “I ‘ave to taste you. Please let me?” All she could do was moan her acceptance, but it was good enough for him.

Spike ripped the thong from her body, and placed a light kiss just above her pussy. Then, he gave her one long lick from bottom to top. Buffy shuddered in reaction, and put her hands on the back of his head to hold him in place. He started nibbling softly on her clit, while one of his fingers found its way into her quim. He started thrusting slowly until he could add another finger. He was in heaven, or as close as he thought he would ever get. Buffy tasted amazing, and he knew he could do this forever without stopping if she would let him.

Spike tried rubbing his cock against the bed for some friction, but it wasn’t working. Buffy was making little mewling noises in the back of her throat that were driving him crazy. Her inner muscles started squeezing his fingers, and he could tell that she was close. He added a third finger, and pumped faster.

Buffy grabbed Spike’s shoulders and pulled him up her body. When he looked at her, confused, she said, “Not without you. I don’t want to come without you inside me.” He groaned and brought his dick to her pussy lips, then leaned down and kissed her as he slowly pushed into her welcoming depths. They both moaned in delight at the feel of the other. Buffy brought her legs up and locked them around his hips. She’d never felt so full in her life. Spike filled up places that she didn’t even know were empty. It felt so right to be connected with him like this.

Once he realized that he wouldn’t burn up starting at his cock, Spike started thrusting. He made a low growling noise as he spoke. “God luv, you’re so tight an’ hot. You feel so good.” He looked into her eyes as he said his next words. “Buffy, I love you so much. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop.” He glanced away. “I don’t expect you to say it back, but I just wanted you to know.”

She brought his face down to hers and kissed him passionately. Then, she brought his mouth to her neck and whispered into his. “Bite me, Spike. I want to be filled by you in every way.”

He brought his head up, startled. “Are you sure that’s what you want, luv?” He couldn’t believe that the slayer would actually ask him for his bite. He’d dreamt of her doing it so often that it didn’t actually seem real.

Buffy nodded her head, and tilted it to the side to give him easier access. “I trust you.”

Spike was amazed that someone so good and pure as the slayer would ever put her trust in a soulless demon such as himself. He couldn’t hide the tears of gratitude that shimmered in his eyes as he slid into game face, and bent down to her neck. Buffy tensed slightly, so he licked and sucked until he felt her relax. Then, he carefully sank his fangs into her willing flesh. He didn’t drink. He’d only bitten deep enough to get her bleeding. Then, he just let it fill his mouth slowly. He’d never tasted anything like it. Buffy’s blood was sweet and rich, and it tasted even better because it was freely given.

Buffy shuddered in pleasure when she felt his fangs pierce her skin. Spike’s thrusts started speeding up and he reached down and tweaked her clit. Then, with a deafening growl, he spilled himself inside of her as he felt her come apart around him. He licked the wound closed and rested against her body.

As they lay together, sated from their lovemaking, Spike spoke softly. “I know you don’t love me, but if you just give me a crumb of hope that maybe, someday, you could, then I would be the happiest man on Earth.”

Buffy moved to look him in the eye. As blue met green, she gave him a soft smile and placed her hand on his cheek. He turned into her palm and kissed her wrist. “Spike, if I didn’t already have feelings for you, then there’s no way I ever would have made love with you. I know my friends will probably wig majorly, but I want to see where this could go.”

“You really mean that, luv? No sneaking around and hiding from them?” Spike was almost afraid to hope. He didn’t want to be her dirty little secret, but if it was the only way he could have her, then he would deal with it.

She leaned forward and let her lips meet his. Then, without pulling away, she spoke. “Yes, I mean it. I don’t want to hide our relationship, because I am not ashamed of it. If they’re really my friends, then they’ll want me to be happy. You make me happy, Spike.”

“I love you so much, kitten.”

“I know.”

The End