I apologize in advance for the end of this chapter. ☹ It ain’t pretty, but it’s necessary.

--

“Dawn!” I jumped up to block her. “Don’t!”

Dawn froze, taking in the scene in front of her. “What the hell is this?” She shoved a cross at me, and I yanked it from her hand.

“She’s not a vampire,” Spike said calmly, but I could tell that he was tensely coiled, ready for action.

Dawn’s eyes narrowed. “You!” she growled, charging at him.

I scrambled in between them. “Stop it, Dawnie! He’s harmless!”

“Oi!”

I gave him a look. “Not helping, Spike.”

“Buffy!” Great. Angel, standing in the hallway in front of a crowd of curious dormmates. “Invite me in! We won’t let Spike hurt you!”

I eyeballed him. “I don’t think I want any more vampires in my room.”

“Buffy, he’s here to help!” Dawn said, exasperated. “Spike, let her go.”

Spike smirked. “I don’t think so. She’s my prisoner. Right. My captive, and I will bite her if you come any closer.” I rolled my eyes at him, but he just grinned and pulled me up with him, holding me against his chest.

Dawn tensed, and Angel beat against the barrier keeping him out helplessly.

“Switch,” Dawn proposed. “Me for her.”

Spike leered. “Like her better.”

I elbowed him. “Dawn, just let him leave. He’ll let me go once we’re out of here.”

Dawn edged closer to us. “How long has he had you here?”

“Spike’s scent on her was strong,” Angel said darkly. “It might’ve been days.”

“Would you cut out that smelly thing?” I said furiously.

“He’s just trying to help!” Dawn snapped. She visibly calmed herself. “Okay. Let’s move on. Spike, we’ll let you go if you let Buffy go.”

“So you can stake me the minute I let go of her?” Spike retorted. “I know how you Slayers work. It’s all about the kill. You don’t make deals with my kind.” He backed away from her and sidled along the wall to the window. “I’ll take her with me until I’m out of here. Then I’ll let her go. You have my word.”

“Go with that,” I offered.

Dawn ignored me. “Oh, because your word means anything to us.” She turned back to me. “You need to invite Angel in if you want to live. Now.”

“Yeah, invite the good vampire in, Big Sis.” Spike was laughing.

I sighed. “Are you an idiot?” I mumbled under my breath. “Do you want to survive tonight?”

“Dawn.” Angel spoke, his eyes fixed on me suspiciously. “There’s something wrong with this whole situation.”

Dawn threw him a scornful look. “You think?” she said sardonically. She turned back to me. “Two words. Come in. Just say them!”

“My room isn’t Vampire Central!” I protested. “Just let Spike go!”

I could see a dawning suspicion in Dawn’s eyes. This wasn’t good. In a moment, she’d figure out what we were up to, and it wouldn’t end well.

“Let’s move, pet,” Spike murmured, pulling me closer. “I jump, you run at the Slayer.” I glanced at the window. It was still closed. There was no way that we were going to get it open like this.

Then Willow pushed her way through the onlookers and wandered into the room, shutting the door behind her. “Hey Buffy, Spike, Dawnie. What’s going on?”

Damn. Well, at least Angel was shut out.

Dawn tossed her a disbelieving look. “You’ve got to be kidding. Have you been- You have been!” She rounded on me. “Buffy? You’re not sleeping with him, are you?”

I flushed, and Spike leered behind me. “Yes, that’s it,” he said matter-of-factly. “I’ve been violating your sister on a daily basis.”

“Spike!” I pushed him back, not realizing what a bad move it was until Dawn used my distraction to shove me aside and back Spike up flat against the window, stake in hand.

Spike sighed. “Tell her, Big Sis.”

“Spike’s helpless.” I informed Dawn, grabbing her stake arm. “He can’t hurt anyone living. He’s been feeding on pigs’ blood for the past week.”

Dawn frowned. “What?”

“And we’re not sleeping together,” I felt the need to add.

“Well, technically…” Spike put in.

“Shut up,” I said good-naturedly.

Dawn was looking from me to Willow to Spike with a dawning realization. “You’ve been letting him stay here?” she asked incredulously.

I shrugged. “It’s a long story.”

“Can you let me go now?”

Dawn gave him a dirty look. “How do I know that you’re telling the truth?”

Spike grinned. “Thought you’d never ask.” He drew back his fist to punch her.

“Don’t,” I warned him.

He pouted. “Fine. Spoil my fun.” He slapped her lightly instead, and fell back with a cry, clutching his head in pain.

Dawn eyed him cautiously. “How did this happen?”

“Army types. Messed with my brain, and now I’m stuck here doing your sister’s homework and drinking butcher blood.” He tapped his fingers against the bed’s headboard restlessly. “So really, you can put the stake away and let me get back to my newly miserable existence.”

Dawn shook her head. “I don’t believe it. Buffy, you just let him in? Gave him food and shelter? He’s an evil vampire!”

I shrugged. “Things just worked out this way.” I met Spike’s eyes, and a significant look passed between us. “Can you put that thing away?” I finally asked Dawn, motioning to the stake. “It’s kind of unnerving.”

Dawn considered me thoughtfully, then looked Spike up and down. “You’re coming with me,” she decided.

Spike scowled. “Like hell I am.”

Dawn pressed the stake a little closer to his heart. “You’re coming. We need to know everything you do about those commandos.”

“Buffy!” Spike protested.

I looked at Willow. She shrugged helplessly.

“We’ll feed him and stuff,” Dawn conceded grudgingly. “He’ll be safe. No one to come in and stake him while you’re in class,” she added significantly.

I glared at her. “You can’t do this!”

“Yes, I can.” She headed for the door, yanking a struggling Spike with her. “It’s my job. I thought you were finally starting to get that.”

And she opened the door and left, Spike with her.

I glowered at Angel, who was still waiting. “This is all your fault.”

He shrugged. “I was worried about you.”

Creepy pedophile. “If you were really so worried, why did you let me come back here?” I demanded, folding my arms.

“I followed you back,” he said sheepishly. “All the way to the dorm. When I saw you and Spike getting all cozy…”

“You thought I’d been turned,” I finished. He nodded earnestly. Idiot. “Spike’s my friend. Maybe you’re all bite-first-ask-questions-later type, but some of us can get along!”

“Didn’t Spike try to bite you a few times before?” Angel inquired.

“True, but-“

Angel smiled smugly. “If not for whatever the commandos did, you’d have been dead. Because you trusted him.”

“It wasn’t like that!” Good old Willow, sticking up for me.

Angel turned to go. “You can’t fall for the pulseless and soulless. They’re only out for one thing, and it’s only a matter of time before Spike figures out how to drain you dry.”

I glared daggers at him as he followed Dawn out.

Damn them, interfering and taking Spike away. Damn Angel, following me back home. Thinking I was a vampire. Claiming that I was falling for…

Falling for…

I liked Spike, I knew that. And he was gorgeous, no question about it. I was attracted to him, but who wasn’t? He was my friend, and I knew that contrary to Angel’s belief, he wouldn’t hurt me if he could. Not anymore. We cared about each other. But falling in love with him? I couldn’t possibly be.

But I was.

“Oh my god,” I murmured.

“Buffy?” a small voice spoke from behind me. Willow was staring worriedly at me. “Is everything okay?”

“What do you think?” I responded sarcastically, but there was no rancor in my voice.

“I’ll try doing some kind of locator spell with Tara. We’ll see if we can find Spike,” Willow offered.

“Thanks, Will,” I went to a drawer to get pajamas. “I’m going to turn in now, okay?”

“Goodnight,” she smiled. “I don’t know how long this’ll take. I’ll probably be out all night.”

She shut off the light on her way out, and I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. But visions of Spike turning to dust haunted me.

Spike…

Where are you?

I think I might love you.

I don’t want to lose you.

--

Riley came to visit about twenty minutes later.

I stared blankly at him. “Riley.”

“I thought that you invited me to come by, but if I woke you…?” he asked, gesturing at my pajamas.

I blushed as I looked down and realized that yes, I was wearing my Yummy Sushi pajamas. Great. “Sorry. I’m kind of out of it.” I pulled on a robe and gestured for him to sit next to me on my bed.

He kissed me.

At first I sat stock still, Spike’s face floating through my mind. This wasn’t right to Riley. Not while I had these feelings for someone else.

But it wasn’t like Spike felt that way about me. I knew that. He had Dru, his dark goddess or whatever. He’d loved her for a century. And he was certain that she was still alive. There was no way I could ever be with Spike.

And Riley was a good guy. He didn’t deserve to have me mooning over another guy while we were together.

I deepened the kiss, pulling myself closer to him and molding my body against his. I reached for the zipper of his pants.

His eyes lit up, and he smiled at me. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, afraid to speak.

If I couldn’t give him my heart right now, then I could at least give him this.

I let him move above me clumsily, tamping down the part of me that was wondering how much better at this Spike would be. That was picturing Spike’s face, his more lithe, flexible body, his strong, cool chest pressed against mine, and his…

Finally, Riley collapsed next to me, satisfied. I was a little less so, but curled up next to him. He was sweating. Did vampires sweat? Probably not.

I really had to break up with Riley. There was no way I could do this, not again. Not ever.

I turned to face him, and caught his eyes shining as he gazed at me.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he murmured.

I’m sorry, I wanted to say. You’re a good person. You deserve better.

Then Parker’s face flashed through my mind. And Scott’s, before him.

“I’ll see you around, Buffy. It was fun.”

“Look, Buffy, this isn’t working out for me anymore.”

I couldn’t be one of those people who dumps someone after sleeping with her. Him.

Not today. I’ll wait a week or two. Give it some time.

I wonder if Spike’s okay.