Disclaimer: The cool characters are all Joss Whedon’s
 
But the amazing reviewers belong to the BSV! Thanks so much
 
***********
 
A sharp pain woke Buffy up after a couple hours. Damn! Another contraction, I guess. Getting worse though. She realized that Spike’s arm was no longer around her. She panicked for a moment, but turned over to see he was right there beside her. He had rolled over in his sleep, and lay there unmoving. He really did look dead when he slept, but he was at least an attractive corpse.
 
Buffy lay there watching him sleep. What’s happening to me? She was getting used to his arms around her. He was the only thing that made her feel safe in this alien place. But why him? He’s a soulless vampire. Why is he so nice to me? Then, unbidden, the answer echoed in her brain. He loves you. You know he loves you. Said as much many times. She gently reached out and put her hand on his unmoving chest. He remained asleep, but turned his head toward her. The idea of this man loving her without looking for much in return humbled her. Why did you stay? My friends treat you like crap. I go back and forth between dumping on you and pushing you away. She didn’t know what to think.
 
Another contraction made her wince and grind her teeth. Damn Willow anyway for dragging me back here for this, she thought bitterly. She knew Willow was acting under the assumption that she had saved Buffy from some fate worse than death. But at the moment, she needed someone to be pissed at. I was so happy. Why couldn’t they just learn to deal without me? A few tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. There was another thing she couldn’t figure out about Spike. Clearly he cared about her. His reaction when she had come back was like someone witnessing a miracle. But he hadn’t participated in the spell to drag her back. He would have refused them if they had bothered to consult him. He hadn’t wanted her to suffer more just so he could feel better. The friends who brought her back couldn’t deal with her coming back different. They expected her to return to exactly the way they remembered her, and to thank them for the privilege of being dragged out of heaven. But Spike just took her as she was. She looked over at him again, his blond hair in rumpled curls across his forehead. Going to have to figure this out someday. For now, he was her lifeline, and she lay watching him as she waited for the next contraction.
 
********
 
Spike had no idea how long he was asleep when he was awoken by a moan. The fire had burned down to embers, and the cave was almost pitch dark. He sat up, vamping out so he could see better. “Buffy? You alright?”
 
Buffy was struggling to sit up, and clutching her belly. “No. I… I think my water broke.”
 
Spike’s senses told him that she was right. Damn, damn, damn. She was in labor. They were in for it now. Even if he had any hope of finding the amulet, he couldn’t leave her to look for it in this state.
 
Spike took a deep breath. “Be right back, love,” he said. He went outside, quickly grabbed some more wood and refilled the flask with water, then hurried back. She was leaning against the wall, biting her lip as her body went through a contraction. Spike built up the fire to get more light, and shook off his gameface. Then he moved over to Buffy and, after a moment’s hesitation, placed his hand on her swollen body. “How close are the contractions?” he asked.
 
Buffy shook her head. “Not sure. Five or ten minutes apart? They’ve been going on for a while now” She shifted to make herself more comfortable.
 
“Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” he asked, rather sharply. She jumped a bit, and he instantly felt guilty. He handed her the water bottle, then apologized, “Sorry. Just worried, love.”
 
Buffy handed the bottle back and said, “I didn’t think there was anything in particular you could do.”
 
Spike sighed, “I know. Not exactly trained in this, I’m afraid.” Pregnancy had been scarcely discussed among Victorian gentlemen, and since his turning pregnant women had been just another meal. It was always something the women were supposed to handle.
 
“Probably wasn’t in the vampire handbook,” Buffy replied. After a moment of thought she asked, “What did you learn about these demons anyhow? I know there had to be some research before the rescue. There’s research before breakfast for God’s sake.”
 
Spike hesitated, not sure if she really needed to hear the details, or why she wanted to know now. But in the end he said, “They have no females. That’s why they use other hosts to bear their young. Only the elite are allowed human hosts. They… um… “
 
“What? Just tell me.”
 
Spike swallowed. “Usually they sacrifice the mother to feed the newborn. I guess the spawn come equipped with teeth and everything.”
 
Buffy cursed through another contraction. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to watch out for its teeth when it arrives.” Her forehead had broken out in a sweat.
 
Spike used his bandana to wipe her face. He took her hand and said, “You need something to squeeze, I’m right here. You know I can take it.”
 
“I can’t imagine what a slayer would do to a human labor coach,” Buffy panted. In between contractions she didn’t feel too terrible, but when they hit it was like someone putting her entire body in a vise. “I guess there’s no chance you have any drugs in your pockets, huh?”
 
“Sorry, pet,” Spike answered. He wished he had something, anything that would help her. He wanted to punch the walls in frustration, but he realized this would not help the situation. “Would rubbing your back help any?” he asked.
 
“Might,” Buffy answered. She shifted away from the wall. Spike moved around behind her and massaged her lower back. She cried out again, and he held her for a moment until the contraction subsided. She closed her eyes and panted, leaning back against him. “Spike, I’m afraid,” she whispered.
 
He knew how that admission had cost her. For Buffy to admit anything like fear, need, or vulnerability was almost unthinkable. It was why she hadn’t been able to tell her friends she was in heaven, why she kept coming to his crypt with lame excuses. He cradled her, still wrapped in his shirt and duster, and said, “’S alright, Buffy. You never have to hide anything with me, pet. I know it bugs you to hear it, but I love you, and I always will, no matter what.”
 
“Doesn’t bug me so much right now,” said Buffy, so quietly that only a vampire could have heard it. Their eyes locked for a long minute. Then she doubled over again in agony.
 
It went on for hours. Even Angelus at his worst couldn’t deal out pain like this, he thought at one point. She was crushing Spike’s hand with every contraction. If he had been a human, he would have ended up in a cast by the end. Even with his vampire strength he winced a few times.
 
After a particularly long contraction, Buffy nearly collapsed against Spike, panting. “Don’t forget to breathe, Slayer,” he said patiently.
 
“Thanks, never would have thought of that,” growled Buffy. Spike wondered at this girl. Even in agony she had a smart mouth. After the pain had subsided somewhat, Buffy spoke up again in a quieter voice. “Spike?”
 
“Yeah?”
 
“If…,” she began. She didn’t want to offend him, but she had a question she needed the answer to. “Are you going to try to turn me if I’m not going to make it?” Her eyes were serious and slightly nervous looking.
 
Spike shook his head gently. “I’d never do that to you, Buffy. Not even if you begged me.”
 
“Why not?” she wondered. “Not that I would want to be a vampire, no offense…”
 
“None taken, love,” Spike reassured her.
 
“But you could keep me around forever if you wanted to. It’s in your power. So why wouldn’t you?“ Her friends had done everything and more to keep her in the world. He could keep her with him forever, but he said no. She didn’t get it.
 
“I love you because of who you are,” he said as he rubbed her back some more. “When people get turned, they sometimes turn into someone else. If I turned you I could lose you just as completely as when you fell off that tower. ‘Sides, you don’t deserve that. If anything you deserve to go back to that warm place you told me about.” His voice was pained at the thought of losing her again. But he meant what he said – she could see that.
 
She groaned through another contraction while she mulled that over. When she caught her breath again, she asked, “How do you know I would come back so different?”
 
Spike closed his eyes for a moment and said, “I turned my mother.” Buffy looked at him sharply, her jaw dropping slightly. “She was dying of consumption – tuberculosis. I thought I could save her. But she wasn’t my mother any more after that. Ended up having to dust her. Won’t go through that again with someone I love.” His voice trailed off at the end, and he avoided her gaze for a while.
 
“I understand, Spike,” Buffy said at last. He’s the only one selfless enough to let me go.
 
Looking into her eyes, Spike saw that she was telling the truth – she did understand. He fought back the grief tearing at him. Stay strong, William. She’s still here, she’s not gone yet, and you’re going to make sure she stays this time. He pushed aside his emotions and supported Buffy as she suffered through another intense bout of pain.
 
The contractions started coming harder and faster, until Buffy felt she could barely get a breath in between them. The pain was incredible. She felt the thing shifting somehow as the contractions grew more and more intense. “Spike,” she panted, “Something’s happening. Can… can you see…” She turned her head away, embarrassed, even in her torment. She was asking Spike to look at parts of her body that only three men had ever been near.
 
Spike felt a deep stab of pity as he realized how mortified she was to have to ask him to help her in this way. Taking a deep breath, he moved down between her legs and gently pulled his duster out of the way. “Gonna touch you, ok?” he asked, looking up at her red, sweaty face. Buffy nodded weakly, then closed her eyes. Spike put his palm on her sex and pressed gently. He could feel the head of the demon’s child – it was nearly there. “Almost there, love. A few more good pushes and it should be out. Come on, Buffy. You can do it,” he encouraged.
 
She screamed as the next contraction ripped through her. Then she ground her teeth together and bore down. Spike saw the pulsating gray top of the demon’s head nearly emerge, then pause. “One more Buffy!” he cried. Buffy propped herself up on her elbows and made one last herculean effort. Spike watched in fascination and horror as the head emerged, followed by a twisted looking gray body. “You did it Slayer!” Spike cheered as he caught the squirming little thing. It opened its mouth in a tiny growl, and Spike noticed that it had a full complement of tiny, sharp teeth.
 
Buffy fell back, utterly spent. For a moment, Spike panicked as he thought she had stopped breathing. But he heard her heartbeat – she was alive. She moaned again as the afterbirth followed in a pool of blood and fluids. God, I hope that’s normal, Spike worried. He broke the umbilical cord, as the infant demon flailed, growled, and snapped at the air. He laid it on the ground, far away from Buffy. What the hell do we do with it now? he wondered. Best to put it out of its misery quickly, I guess. As he looked around for a suitable rock to end the little creature’s life with, a weak voice behind him said, “Spike… don’t.”
 
He turned to look at her in astonishment. She couldn’t possibly be feeling maternal toward this thing, could she? Buffy opened her eyes with an effort and whispered, “If we kill it, they’ll just go back and find another host. Someone else will have to go through this. If they go back to Sunnydale, it could be someone we care about.”
 
“So what do we do then?” Spike asked, bewildered.
 
Buffy said nothing for a minute. Then she said, “Can you… take it and leave it at the edge of the forest? Near the fortress? They’ll find it there, and that should satisfy their king or whatever.”
 
Spike didn’t know what had gotten into the girl. But he understood her logic somewhat. Still, he was concerned. “Will you be ok here for a little while?” She was very pale, but Spike could hear that her breathing was going back to normal, and her heartbeat seemed regular enough.
 
Buffy nodded. “I just need to rest,” she said, and closed her eyes.
 
Spike eyed the baby demon for a moment. Then he took off his t-shirt. I’ll be starkers by the time this little adventure is over. He ripped a strip off the bottom of the shirt and used it to tie the little jaw shut. Infant or not, this thing had dangerous teeth. Then he used the rest of the shirt to swaddle the little bundle with the small but very sharp claws. This way he could concentrate on finding his way through the forest without the little demon lacerating him all the way. “I’ll be back as fast as I can,” he reassured Buffy. She half opened her eyes in response, then closed them again.
 
With one last worried glance, Spike dashed out of the cave. It was night time, but the moon was brighter tonight. He dashed through the stream, clutching the writhing little creature. When he got to the thicker part of the forest, he went more slowly, carefully picking his way through. He managed to get to the edge of the open plaza, crouching behind a thick bush. He had made his way to a point as far as possible from where he had first entered the forest with Buffy, hoping that his trail would not be picked up. In the shadows near the edge of the bush, he placed the creature on the ground. He pulled the strip of cloth off of its jaw, then quickly took off back to his usual path. Within minutes, the little creature started howling loudly. The guards at the gates jumped up, searching for the source of the noise. As they all converged on the spot where Spike had left the infant, he made his way back toward the stream.
 
He could barely see anything in that thick forest, but he looked up to get glimpses of the moon through the trees. He could smell his own scent, and he used that to help him track back to the cave. Then, right before he got to the place where he had jumped into the stream all those days ago, he noticed moonlight glinting off something in one of the tree branches. He stopped, and looked again. There, hanging on a branch at chest height, was the amulet. The leather had snapped, but it had hooked itself neatly onto a protruding limb, and there it was. He plucked it off the tree, astonished, and clutched in his hand almost hard enough to bring blood. You’re an idiot, William. Been looking on the ground for two weeks and it was hanging in a tree like a goddamn Christmas ornament. Realizing he had no time to waste, he quickly took off again through the stream.
 
He practically dived into the cave. “Buffy! You won’t believe it! I found…” He stopped short. The smell of blood hit him like a wave. Oh no… Buffy was where he had left her, but surrounded by a growing pool of blood. He heard her heart still beating, but it was weakening. He crossed to her and shook her gently, calling her name, but she didn’t respond.
 
With shaking hands he dug the paper with the chant out of his jeans. Clutching the amulet he spoke the words to the spell. As the wind blew and the portal started growing in front of him, he scooped up the limp body of the Slayer. Cradling her tightly, he whirled and leaped through the shimmering doorway.
 
TBC