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Ties That Bind by Rain
 
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I’ve gotten the best reviews. Thank you so much. Gravidy’s The God of The Lost has finally updated! Go read it silly. Oh, wait. Read and Review me first 

Angel’s face was no longer white with pain, his features relaxed. There was something in his eyes that reminded her of Angelus. A carefree lightness that couldn’t be associated with Angel. For a second her stomach clenched but she washed down her fear and walked into the confines of her bedroom. He met her eyes with a small smile, slightly skewed, as if he didn’t have complete control of his muscles. “I’m sorry,” He said softly, dropping her eyes and his smile. “I was weak.”

They stood in silence and the moment stretched into awkwardness. As were so many of the few moments between them now. There really was nothing to say. Every time she saw him they were farther apart, living in different worlds, different universes. How could LA be so far away? “No one begrudges you painkillers.” She finally said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Once she might have touched him, his hand or his face. But her hands stayed in her lap, folded pristinely. “How are you feeling?”

“Disoriented.” He said weakly. She didn’t like seeing him weak like this. It reminded her of another place, another time. Another time she had been willing to sacrifice a human for him. “Don’t be angry with Spike, he was very kind to that girl.”

She wondered what the admission had cost him. She felt Spike enter the room. Silent as the wolf. Drifting behind her, out of her line of vision, invisible in the mirror. He knew she knew he was there, but his soundless stealthy steps were second nature. The innate tendency of an accomplished predator. She shuddered and he kept his distance. She wasn’t angry, just sad. Very sad. She steeled her expression and her heart. There were other things to worry about right now. Romance was so not on the list of priority’s. Wait for Spike, check. Care for Angel, check. Time to get her sister back and take Glory down. Hard.

“You need your rest, Sleep.” She said simply and climbed to her feet. Spike followed her into the hall and closed the door quietly behind him. “Where are Dru and the other Vamps headed?” She asked.

“I told them to head out of Sunnydale and not to hunt here.” Buffy nodded mutely and went downstairs. He stood at the top of the stairs for a long moment before he finally followed her.

The war council was grim and fast. That was where they were now. War. Quickly everyone conferred and it was decided unanimously that Spike hunting by scent was the best hope of finding Dawn. And the sooner he got out on the streets the better. If she wasn’t bleeding her scent would fade fast. They decided to head to the wealthier side of town and Cordelia was already on the phone, calling hotel’s, searching for her “aunt”. Spike was vibrating with energy. When she asked he said he was coming off the drugs but her blood made his body sing.

It was just the two of them in the dark streets. The scenery was unfamiliar. Buffy didn’t visit this side of town often in daylight, and very rarely patrolled here. After dispatching three Vampires within the hour she was beginning to think that she should spend some quality time here. The problem was that the police tended to assemble here and rarely left the safer confines of the west side for the rest of Sunnydale.

Spike was rarely silent, so the hush between them was particularly conspicuous. She subconsciously found herself closing the physical distance between them. Her body brushed up against him and she didn’t move away. He couldn’t help the way he was. And it was unreasonable to be so hurt. He was just helping Angel, and he had followed her unspoken rules all the way. How could some of the same things that drew her to him, also push her away. Deadly, Silent, Cunning, Intelligent. Maybe she should consider dating a Marine or something to scratch her bad boy itch without coming down in hives.

They trotted quickly down one street and up the next. Spike was completely focused, silent, turning his head this way and that, in game face. Her mind was really becoming quite twisted. She couldn’t help a squashed giggle every time someone took a double take and found themselves staring at an innocently scowling Spike, game face gone. At least it was funny until the boys and blue took a special interest in them and crossed the street stopping them. “Awful late for you two to be out wondering the streets.” Barney wannabe drawled.

Spike rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Not against the law.” Buffy stiffened, antagonize the police, great game plan Spike. She gave him a very dirty look before giving her very best blond ditz smile.

“We’re just out for a walk.” Buffy said sweetly, trying out the twisty sluty move that Faith was using earlier. Spike let out a little growl and moved closer, pressing himself flush up against her back. He was just so cute when he was jealous.

“Where are you headed?” Asked the other policeman; aiming a slightly overly polite smile in her direction. “Pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be out here this late at night.”

Spike made no sound but his hands flexed twice. “Oh I’m not worried,” She said sweetly, playing the dumb cheerleader to perfection, if she did say so herself. “I’ve got William to protect me.” She smiled up at him and had to choke down giggles at the furious expression on his face. Poor Spike, he was all tensed up with violence and couldn’t maim the police because she would get all mad. Suddenly Spike went motionless and squeezed her waist gently.

“I’m supposed to get my girl home by Eleven so if you blokes can excuse us.” He steered her away without giving her so much as a change to say anything. She turned and waved at their enthusiastic goodbye’s just to rattle Spike. He just had this effect on her, any other time she would have been embarrassed to flirt with a police man, but Spike always made things so fun. “I caught a whiff of her.” He whispered in her ear, walking casually until they turned the corner.

“Dawn? Glory?” She questioned, suddenly dead serious. Excuse the pun.

“Both, they were both here, just recently.”

Spike led her to a small back door of an expensive looking hotel. They looked at each other and on a whim Buffy leaned in and gave him a small kiss, just barely a press of lips. She meant for that to be all, just a reassurance after wigging out earlier but Spike pulled her back in for an encore that left her breathless and shaky. “What’s the game plan?”

She frowned in thought. “Recon, we’ll check it out, see what were up against, and then decide. If we can get her out we will, I don’t want her in there any longer than she has to be.” He nodded and pushed the door open, she darted in before him and she felt irritation spark through the bond. She smiled at his protectiveness and walked down the small corridor like she owned it. It opened into a busy noisy kitchen. No one paid them any mind as they walked directly through, dodging cooks and assistants. Spike led her to a narrow staircase at the back of the kitchen; if he hadn’t brought it to her attention she might not have even noticed it. He jogged up without hesitation. She glanced behind her, no one noticed them, Sunndale citizen’s really needed to become more aware of their surroundings.

Spike strutted without hesitation to the elevator and pushed the button. He leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear. “There’s at least five of them, not including little sis and fuzzy.” There was a very proper looking couple in the elevator and Buffy suddenly became very conscious of her faded blue jeans and spangle top. She stepped inside with a shy smile and Spike pushed the button for the next floor. They sat in silence as the elevator moved up. The stuffy couple eyed them disapprovingly and even though she wasn’t looking at him she just knew that Spike was scowling at them. She felt herself blush when Spike pulled her back against him and buried his head in her neck. She almost pulled away in embarrassment before she felt him shift into game face just as the doors slid open. “Not it.” He whispered and she reached out to push the shiny number three. The woman sniffed and looked away. Thankfully the conservative woman and her husband departed on the third floor.

They rode all the way to the sixth floor before Spike nodded and they stepped cautiously out into the wide hall. She wouldn’t be able to jump out of a window here. Maybe Spike could leap out with Dawn and she’d find her own way. They crept without a sound along the soft padded carpet. Spike stopped at a door and they looked at each other, what now? Spike reached out and stroked her hair; it took her a second to realize that he had pulled her barrette out. Thief. Maybe he was a pick pocket before he was a Vampire.

He crushed her barrette and manipulated the wire before squatting down and inserting the end into the lock. Buffy casually leaned up against the wall and kept watch. It seemed like forever before she heard a small pop. Spike grinned at her and game faced, leaning into the door to listen. “Seven people breathing, someone whispering in the back room. Dawnie’s crying, very softly, maybe into her pillow.”

“There’s two rooms?”

“Yeah, sounds are muffled at the back, must be a suite.” He pushed the door open quickly and he was in the room so fast she only saw a blur where he used to be. He dispatched the two short little men in seconds, breaking their necks. It’s them or Dawn, it’s them or Dawn, it’s them or Dawn. She kept up her inner monologue and fought back tears as he lay the second man down on the carpet noiselessly. She shut the door silently and they moved quickly to the back room, Spike touched the knob and than pulled out the twisted wire from before. Buffy looked around wondering what the best exit route might be. There was a light click and Spike met her eyes before pushing the door open.

Dawn lay in one of the large beds that filled most of the room. She hesitated a second, checking to see that she was ok before springing into action. Spike had already taken out two more of the quirky creepy guard things. Buffy moved to attack a small well dressed demon in a suit but he moved like greased lightning and her fists connected with air. At the corner of her consciousness she was aware of Spike exchanging blows with Glory. But she was concentrating on her own fight. This little guy was unbelievably fast and he hit really hard.

She threw a glance at her sister and shouted for her to run. It cost her, as in a big right hook to her cheek, but Dawnie, apparently unharmed, leapt out of bed and sprang for the door. Suddenly a huge weight crashed into her, knocking her against the wall. Her head rebounded painfully against the harsh plaster and she stared for a moment at the pretty stars dancing in front of her eyes. Spike pushed off of her, where he had apparently been flung, and leapt back at Glory. But it was too late to distract her. She raised one dainty hand and sent the door swinging shut with a sharp sound of finality.

Ooookaay. Plan B. She grabbed Spike, hurling him towards her sister and leaping at Glory herself. She picked up a heavy chair in mid leap and smashed it over, what did Spike call her, Fuzzy’s head. “Window!” She shouted loudly and swung one of the broken pieces of the chair at Glory’s back. It connected with a very satisfying thunk. Of course it didn’t even faze her. The God swung at Buffy and she thanked her lucky stars that she managed to maneuver out of her way because that looked like it might have hurt. At the same time she jabbed with the splintered end of her chair leg and drew blood. From the corner of her eye she watched as Spike ripped out the little demon’s throat. He scooped up her sister and hurled through the air towards the window even as the demon fell to the ground. His shoulder hit the glass and he rebounded with a crash!

Glory managed to grab her while she was distracted and spun her into the wall with enough force to make her head spin. The God twisted Buffy’s arm behind her back painfully and forced her head against the wall with one hand. Buffy struggled and attempted to free herself but Glory was much stronger than she looked. “Did you really think I wouldn’t take precautions! That I’d leave the window available for an escape route?” She snarled in Buffy’s ear. “Did you puny mortal’s really think you could defeat me?”

Spike was shaking himself off and hurled towards her Vampire fast. He grabbed Glory with one hand and her with the other. And then things got crazy. Later the whole event would be a bit of a blur. The second the three of them touched an electric shock went through her body and she was struck immobile. From Spike’s hands, and her own she noticed belatedly, poured bright green runes, frighteningly familiar. She felt dizzy and sick as a circle of terrifying green light enclosed the three of them. She felt it drawing closer and closer and heard Glory s frantic shrieks, and then there was nothing. Just blessed darkness.
 




Hey, Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. This chapter is a little lacking in excitement but was necessary to move the plot along. I expect another five chapters will wrap this story up. I haven’t decided on a happy ending, or a sad ending with a sequel. You’ll be the first I tell.


The world was rocking violently. No that was just her. Someone was shaking her. They were yelling at her to get up. Her mind was fuzzy and her thoughts scattered. She couldn’t seem to piece together reality. It was Dawnie; Dawnie was yelling at her and shaking her. Dawnie was Ok. Had she been in danger? Oh yeah, Glory. Buffy’s eyes popped open. Her sister was crouched over her, hands on both her shoulders, sobbing loudly. “Buffy, Buffy, Oh My Gawd!!! Are you alright! You and Spike wouldn’t wake up.”

Oh, Spike. Buffy felt a crushing weight of loneliness and loss. Oh please no. She heaved herself up on her elbow so that she could see Spike. He was lying next to her on his back. Limbs spread akimbo in a rare display of gracelessness. If she wasn’t seeing him she wouldn’t have even known he was there. He was completely gone from her head. There was no trace of him at all, as if he’d never been there at all. Buffy wanted to run naked through the night screaming. Buffy wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and sob hopelessly. Buffy wanted to latch onto him and beg him to make it right with them again. Because her whole world suddenly seemed wonky. She’d always walked alone; it just wasn’t until this moment that she realized just how lonely it was.

“What happened?” She asked, shocked at the cracked hoarse voice that came from her throat. “Where’s Glory?” She started to use her mins to wake up Spike but then with a wince had to call for him out loud. He twitched awake and his eyes latched onto her. She almost wept at the horrified frantic look in his eyes. He missed her too. Dawn was enthusiastically bubbling over with details about green light and Glory’s screams. He looked away first, climbing stiffly to his feet and offering her a hand. She took it gratefully, intensely aware of his cool strong fingers. His touch felt strange without the accompanying maelstrom of sensations in her head. Did her touch still do the same thing to him, or was she just another Slayer again?

She held back tears bravely and focused on her sister. She was sparkling with happiness that everyone was alright. She was completely unaware that Buffy’s world was collapsing in on itself and that things would never ever be alright again. “Alright pet, got the green light covered. Where’s the sodding drama queen?” Dawn started crying again and Spike released her hand to pull her sister into his arms. He held her sobbing form close to him for a few minutes before it occurred to Buffy that she ought be alarmed that the evil undead had her helpless sister cradled close to him. Buffy was a bad bad Slayer and an awful sister. She couldn’t even summon a token amount of fear.

“Shhh kitten, it’s alright. Calm down and tell Spike what happened.” Dawn began actively trying to calm down, taking big gulps of air and wiping at her eyes.

“I don’t know where she is. She was just gone. She disappeared in all the light.” Her sister wheezed out. “She flashed, kind of two dimensional like, in and out at least a dozen times and then she disappeared. All the light quit and you guys just fell.” She took another shuddering breath and swiped at the tears again. “I was so afraid she would come back and I couldn’t wake you guys up. I know you’re supposed to dust if you die but you were so cold and still. And I couldn’t wake you up.” She buried her head in Spike’s shoulder, but the crying seemed to be at an end. “And Buffy was barely breathing at all, and even when I shook her and shook her she just wouldn’t wake up.”

Buffy envied her sister the comfort of Spike’s embrace. Would she ever feel that comfort again? Highly unlikely. Spike met her gaze over her sister’s bowed head and they stared at each other for a long breathless moment before she broke eye contact. She walked over to the phone and picked it up. With the state of damage in the room it was almost a surprise when the dial tone rang in her ear. She dialed home and took stock looking around the room. Blood stains on the carpet, holes in the walls, feathers everywhere. But no bodies, not one. With all the blood maybe she ought to be thinking about how to get out all stealthy like, wouldn’t do to be seen.

Her mother answered on the second ring. A forced cheerfulness overlying the echo of tears in her voice. “It’s me mom. I’ve got Dawn, we’re coming home.” Her mother just began to cry. “We’re all OK mom, she’s just a little shook up. We’ll be home soon.”

Spike scooped up Dawn in his arms. She wasn’t hurt, she could have walked, but she didn’t protest the way that Buffy would have. Instead she looped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder in a gesture of absolute trust. She felt like she ought to protest but couldn’t raise the energy. She knew Spike wouldn’t hurt her sister. “It’s a long way up to take the window sweetheart.” Spike said as he Vamped by the door, head tilted listening. “There’s no one in the hall.”

She joined him, met his eyes again, silence between their minds, and pushed the door open resolutely. She followed Spike out, closing the door behind her and waltzing with him down the hallway like they owned it. They reached the elevator and Dawn reached out to press the button. “You should put her down, draw less attention to us.” He placed her on her feet and Buffy reached out, grabbing her hand and squeezing gently. Thankfully no one was in the elevator and no one paid them any mind when the left the same way they came in. Down the back stairs, through the kitchen.

The streets were dark and deserted and Buffy almost protested when Spike ducked into a phone booth and called a cab, but one look at her sister changed her mind. She was swaying on her feet, her features tired and drawn. Dawn wasn’t up to the walk home. “How did you know how to defeat her?” Buffy asked in a soft undertone.

“I didn’t, I was just trying to get her off you.” The cab was a tight fit, Dawn sandwiched between them. When they arrived home she tensed, terribly afraid that Spike wouldn’t even come in with her. But he made no move to leave, opening the door for her like he always did. Her mom hugged her several times before everyone else got a chance to hug her. She gave a very brief account of what happened. She didn’t know why she didn’t tell them that her bond with Spike had been severed. It wasn’t necessarily that she didn’t want them to know, more like she wasn’t ready to say it out loud. Giles looked extremely grave and started mumbling about books he needed to look in.

“I want to make sure she’s really gone Giles, not just zapped or something.”
“Of course, Buffy. I’ll look into it thoroughly. I have a feeling this event may also give us some insight into your bond with Spike…” He looked up at her and his eyes shifted from Watcher to concerned friend. “Buffy, are you alright. You look a little pale.”

“No I’m fine, really Giles. I’m just a little tired.” She glanced around for Spike and felt a moment of panic before she stomped on it ruthlessly. Just because he wasn’t in the room didn’t mean he had left.

She saw Giles to the door. He was dropping off her various friends at their homes, Wills at the dorm. Faith said she wanted to stay at a hotel but her mother insisted that she sleep here. Her mother started on dinner. It was already very late but no one had eaten with all the stress and her mother would never let anyone go to bed hungry. Buffy climbed the stairs carefully, trying to be silent. If he was listening for her he would know she was coming. She pushed open the door to her room but didn’t enter. Spike sat in the chair by the bed, his head in his hands, his despair almost a palatable presence in the room. Angel was sitting up across from him, his elbows on his thighs.

“I’ve lost her. She’s lost to me.” Said Spike brokenly, almost so low she couldn’t hear him. She thought Angel might know she was there but he made no indication.

“Come to LA Spike. Take sanctuary. Find your center again; figure out what you want to do now.”

“I don’t want to go to sodding LA Peaches.”

“You’re a wreck Spike and some random killing spree won’t help you. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“And you think LA will be my sanctuary?” He gave a bitter laugh. “There’s no such thing Peaches. We can’t all have shiny souls and redemption.”

Buffy backed out silently and crept back down the stairs.

Her mother made roast beef. When supper was ready she went back upstairs. She had about chewed her tongue off, with Cordelia and Faith for company. But they’d watched some stupid cheerleader movie that made Cordie happy. Spike was sitting by the window in his chair and Angel appeared to be asleep again. In her bed. She shivered. Her bond with Spike was apparently over and still the sight of her former lover in her bed did not send goosey shivers down her spine.

“Spike,” She whispered. “Should I wake Angel for this blood or wait?” She held up the glass filled with the heavy liquid and he turned to her.

“It’ll keep, he needs sleep more than anything else.” He said, turning. Her breath caught when he rolled smoothly to his feet and waltzed towards her, all cocky swagger and silky grace.
“Come downstairs, eat with us.” She said softly in reply. He looked for a moment as if he wouldn’t but instead he gestured for her to precede him and followed her down the stairs.

Dawn broke the silence of the dinner table, regaling the group with a detailed account of her capture and rescue. Enough of the details had been altered that it was a different story altogether. Spike was sprawled next to her, all casual coolness, occasionally adding to the conversation. “Oi bit, don’t forget when the Slayer smashed her with that chair. Bloody brilliant that.” Or “Take’s a bit more than a mere God to stop our Slayer, eh bite size?” As if nothing was wrong.

“Sleeping arrangements will be a bit rough.” Her mother said apologetically. Faith if you don’t mind taking the couch, Dawn can bunk with me and Cordelia can have her room.”

“The Summers couch is familiar territory Miss Summers.” Faith drawled, slumped down in her chair. She had apparently decided that flirting with Spike got her nowhere and it wasn’t worth sitting up if there wasn’t a male to impress.

“I was thinking that you and Spike could bunk upstairs in the attic. You’re grandmother’s bed is up there and it wouldn’t take Spike long to put it together.” She carefully didn’t look at him. He really could take his car and get anywhere he wanted before Dawn.

“How’s the light up there mum?” He asked, fishing out his cigarettes, pulling one out, placing it between fine lips, leaving it unlit. He didn’t smoke in the house when her mom was home. How come she didn’t merit the same respect?

“Oh there’s and eastern window, but it’s small. I thought you guys could cover it up.”

“Sounds lovely mum, a right getaway for me and the Duchess.” She gave him a small smile. He was so nice to her mom, her family.

“It’s very late, Dawnie, to bed with you. I’ll see to our guests and be up.” Buffy glanced at the clock. It was very late, or early depending on how you looked at it. Spike pushed away from the table and went out on the porch to smoke. Just a few hours ago she would have joined him, instead she went upstairs to shower. She made it quick, dressing in the flannel pajama’s her mother left on the toilet. When she came out of the bathroom she jumped, startled to find Spike lounging in the hallway. It didn’t seem right for him to be able to startle her.

He moved into her personal space without touching her. “Mmmm warm wet Slayer,” He growled at her, pitched low so listening ears wouldn’t hear. She smiled up at him, suddenly shy, and pointed at a door.

“Those are the attic steps.” She went to the linen closet, getting sheets. And blankets. The upstairs could be chilly sometimes. He went into the bathroom and shut the door. A moment later she heard the spray come on. She fought down the desire to enter the bathroom, wash his hard taut body down with suds. Kiss his neck, his lips. If he’d wanted to shower with her he’d have come in.

She went upstairs and took stock of their, what had Spike called it? “Getaway” There were boxes piled up around the room, old furniture draped with sheets. The light from the bare bulb was spotty with dust. The bed was all the way at the back of the attic, the frame in pieces. She frowned at the small window, trying to decide how best to cover it to keep Spike safe from sun. She draped a heavy blanket over the curtain hardware that was over the window and then began stacking heavy boxes up in front of it. No light would get in. What were they going to do?

Hello Readers. I know I’ve been ridiculously long in updating. I’ve had a personal tragedy and have been unable to write. I’ve got most of the next chapter mapped out already and expect to post again by Friday.

Buffy stepped back, admiring her handiwork. Two rows of boxes flattened the heavy blanket against the small window, effectively eradicating any hope of a stray beam of sunlight. Pleased and nervous Buffy turned and jumped a foot in the air, a silent gasp of surprise escaping her before she could squash it. Not 12 inches from her was Spike. How on Gods green earth did he sneak up on her! Her eyes flickered towards the door before she could stop them. Closed even. She hadn’t even heard a click. She hated it when he did the supernatural thing.

Her heart beat a steady tattoo in her chest that she knew he could hear. His blond locks were tousled and wet, curling over his forehead in a way that made her pulse react alarmingly. Bare chested in nothing but snug black jeans she had a spectacular view. Head slightly titled, graceful curve of his neck, cut muscles tracing a roadway down his rock hard chest and disappearing into his low slung denims. Even now, just looking at him left her breathless, weak and girly. It wasn’t something she felt often, perhaps not ever since becoming the Slayer. But she was the Slayer, and he was who he was. And what were they doing standing in the filtered light of the attic in her mothers house staring at each other like love struck fools?

He moved suddenly and she concentrated on a shaft of light from under the door as he snaked into her personal space. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, where to look. She wanted to touch him, so badly that her hands twitched and her breath came in ragged drags. But she had no excuses now. No clean cut mating bond to fog the moral issues. No way to twist and bend the truth to cast her in an acceptable light. Little more than a week ago he had killed for his dinner. More than once he had killed Slayers, because it was a challenge…fun for him. And now she had no hold on him. No guarantee that he wouldn’t slaughter them all tonight while they slept. Who knew what went on behind those changing eyes?

She made the mistake of looking up at him, trying to gauge his thoughts from his expression. But there was no need to read between the lines. Mating bond or no she knew that look, now, had seen it many times. Skin drawn tight over cheekbones, heavy lidded eyes gleaming with lust fastened on her like she was the center of his universe. The look that made her breath quicken and her panties grow damp. She was deeply ashamed of the rash of goose bumps that broke out over her skin as her flesh grew hot and her body shaky. What excuse did she have now for the way he could make her pant just by looking at her?

Forcing her gaze away from him she lowered her eyes to his pale chest. She frowned. Something wasn’t right. She gasped out loud, reaching out and running her hands down his unblemished chest. Not a mark, a bruise, a scrape even. He was completely healed. She took a deep breath, realizing suddenly that she felt better than she had in days. “Picked up on it have you? Sorry sad days when the Slayer’s so distracted.”

“I have a lot on my mind.” Buffy snapped, snatching her hands away, but he was lightning quick, and caught her hands, placing them back on his chest,

“Don’t” Was all he said before he lowered his head and kissed her. She wasn’t sure if he really moved as slowly as molasses or if she just felt like it took forever for him to reach her lips. And then his kiss was so gentle and thorough that she thought she might scream. She needed more from him. She was as hungry tonight as she had been the very first time. Buffy brought his lower lip between her teeth and bit down hard enough to make him groan. She slipped her hands over his shoulders and pulled his body into better contact with hers. She kissed him roughly, shamelessly and in no time he was responding just as aggressively.

He pulled back from her long enough to whip her top over her head. Immediately he began kissing her shoulders, his hands slipping down her bare back, caressing her hips. Oh God. What was she doing? His skin was smooth and silky under her hands and she loved the way his body quaked with her touch. She couldn’t stop touching him. This was so wrong. His mouth moved to her neck and she stiffened for a moment before relaxing. It was just kissing. Just kissing. But he felt it, how could he not, and he stiffened too. They sat there motionless for a moment and Buffy didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want him to stop.

Buffy moved first, sweeping her hands down his back, around his waist to his fly. She reveled in his sharp indrawn breath…she could still affect him. He still wanted her. He kissed her neck, softly, deliberately. She let him, a thrill racing down her spine. He could crush her with his bare hands. He could vamp and rip her throat out. Instead he made her moan helplessly with the magic of his lips and hands. She unzipped his fly and boldly pushed his jeans over his hips, he shifted, one foot and than the other…toeing off his jeans. Buffy trailed her hands down over his lean hips, and cupped his firm butt.

“Naughty girl.” He whispered in her ear. She smiled wickedly, letting her hands trip softly across his skin to enclose her fingers around his rock hard erection. She slid her hands lightly up and down, increasing the pressure, wiping her thumb over the weeping head of his penis to catch the moisture and wet her hands. “Jesus Buffy, Oh Lord, Bloody Hell Baby…” He began to chant helplessly in that way that he did. The way that let her know he was losing control. She sank fluidly to her knees and Spike let out a feeling groan and buried his hands in her hair. Still she teased him, kissing first one thigh and then the other, running her hand up his leg and cupping his sac lightly, gently massaging him to the tune of his breathless words of encouragement.

She slipped his penis into her mouth, first concentrating on the head and then pulling him in deep. She swept her tongue over the head as she bobbed up and down and his cussing became incoherent. She loved having this control over him, reducing him to speechlessness. It was a power trip like no other. When he started babbling about love she almost pulled back, almost stopped, but then hardened her heart and sucked harder. He didn’t mean it. I love you doesn’t count during sex. She just wished he wouldn’t…it hurt her in places she didn’t want to think about. Because deep down she wanted him to look her in the eye and whisper those fierce words of adoration. He bucked his hips forward and then stiffened and Buffy didn’t hesitate to swallow the warm bursts of liquid in her mouth.

“Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…” He chanted brokenly as he shuddered through his orgasm and she pulled back enough to look up at him as he stared down at her in wonder. He pulled her to her feet and kissed her without hesitation. Somehow she had thought that he wouldn’t want to…after…but he devoured her mouth desperately. Suddenly he hiked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips automatically. He cupped his hands beneath her bottom to support her and stumbled blindly towards the back of the attic. She tried to pull back so he could see where he was going but he tugged her mouth back to his, as if she was his life’s breath and he would cease to exist if he wasn’t kissing her.
The bed wasn’t put together but Spike just kicked out at the mattress causing it to fall flat with a dull thud. He set her on her feet finally, kissing her neck , her shoulder. “Going to make you feel so good…Gonna fuck you so hard…” He started to push her down on the mattress but she resisted, catching his hands which were already starting to tug at her loose pants.

“Spike, sheets…I need sheets…” She panted breathlessly. She wanted him in a bad way but she wasn’t about to fornicate with a Vampire on her grandmother’s mattress…without sheets.

He lifted his head, giving her a bemused smile, and she laughed at his expression. “I’ll make you forget about sheets.” He growled, leaning in to nip at her chin. “I’ll make you forget your bloody name.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled away from him. “Ego much!” She said over her shoulder as she turned away and went back to the door for the sheets. She made sure the little lock was turned before she went back to him. She was intensely aware of her bare breasts swaying and clutched the bedding to her chest self consciously. She could have walked away just now. This was an admission. This was a concession. She was walking back to him of her own free will. He didn’t touch her, just reached for the sheets and carefully helped her make up the bed…well the mattress on the floor. She resisted the urge to cover herself again. This was ridiculous…it was nothing he hadn’t seen.
She glanced at him out of the corner or her eye and saw that he was carefully not looking. Sometimes the considerate things he did seriously freaked her out. She fluffed the last pillow tossing it on the bed and turned to touch him but he was already on the bed stretched out comfortably, his eyes on her face.

She started to get in bed to but he held up a hand. “Undress for me.” He said huskily and Buffy froze. His gaze raked over her, lingering on her breasts as she stood awkwardly at his feet. “Bend over and slide those filmy pants down over your hips.” She was sure that she was blushing like a virgin. But she did as he asked and tried not to rush because she wanted to please him. She stood again, kicking the pants off her feet and her body flushed all over. His eyes were hot and dark with lust and she ran her hands down over her breasts, her stomach, her hips, her thighs. Did he want her to take off her panties too? In a flash he was on his knee’s in front of her, bending down to take her breasts in her mouth.

Oh God, Oh God. “Spike…” She moaned out load and suddenly his hands were everywhere it seemed, her breasts were on fire with his touch and her panties were soaked through. Surely he could smell her lust. He whipped her panties down her thighs and tugged on her so that she crawled up the bed with him. She languidly wrapped herself around him, sliding one leg between his and kissed him. He wrapped his foot around her leg and pushed her panties off with his toes. His penis was quickly rising again pressing against her hip and Buffy found it exhilarating. She did this to him.

He rolled her over to her back, leisurely kissing her shoulder, and her collar bone. He kissed one breast, sucking gently, pulling the extended peak more firmly into his mouth. He pulled back and blew cool air over her flushed skin and Buffy trembled and let out another strangled sound of pleasure. His hand played over her stomach, swept along her hips. He laved his tongue in the valley between her breasts, his hand moving down her thigh. He placed small kisses all around her other breast, avoiding the nipple and Buffy moaned and tossed, “Please Spike…” before he finally flicked his tongue over her sensitive flesh and she almost achieved orgasm just from that sensation.

“Easy Pet…easy…Not yet…” He murmured against her skin, sliding his hand between her knees’s…urging her legs open. He kissed the skin beneath her breasts and ran his hand up her inner thigh. His head went lower, trailing kisses to her belly button. He dipped his tongue inside the small crevice at the same time as his fingers brushed over her curls so lightly that she almost screamed. Instead she gasped out loud and bucked her hips forward impatiently.

“Spike, I need…” He teased her open with one long finger, sweeping it from bottom to top, kissing her hipbone, “I need, oh Spppiiiikkkeee…” He trailed his tongue over the hollow between her hips, finger brushing over her clit, rotating and then retreating. Buffy was making breathless sounds of pleasure and didn’t care if he knew how good he felt to her. Her hips rocked shamelessly, trying to gain more contact. He was kissing her thighs and Buffy opened her legs wider to give him access…so wrapped up in her lust that she didn’t feel a twinge of embarrassment at the way he looked at her intimate parts. He pushed her knee back more, running his hand more firmly over her pussy, spreading her lips for his eyes before finally lowering his head for a taste.

He turned her into a writhing slut. She slipped one leg over his shoulder, opening her legs wider and gasped and moaned and thrust as he worked her over with his tongue. He was relentless, working her clit softly until she was coming apart and then pulling back to lick her pussy lips, kiss her thighs. She realized after the third, maybe fourth time he had almost brought her to orgasm that she was begging him and stopped abruptly. He let out a muffled laugh against her sensitive skin. Asshole. And then he got serious, slipping fingers inside of her, flicking her sensitive flesh with his tongue. In minutes, seconds, hours…who knew… she was Cumming like a freight train,

He rested his head on her stomach and watched her come down from her high, Her breathing began to steady and she ran her fingers through his silky hair, making sure it was properly mussed. He grinned like a feral cat and stalked his way up her body, leaving wet soft kisses in his wake. He settled between her thighs and kissed her lips. Buffy drew her knees up to his hips and planted her feet on the mattress to give him purchase. He balanced his weight on his forearms and teased her opening, rotating his hips before entering her fully.

He rocked slowly and she met his easy thrusts, adjusting to his fullness, shuddering at his hardness rubbing against her sensitized flesh. She ran her hands possessively over his shoulders, his back. Looking up into his eyes as she thrust inside her. She wrapped one leg around his lean hips urging him to increase his pace as the light pleasure she was feeling began to build. She slid her leg down his leg, wrapping her foot around his ankle, finding balance and flipping him suddenly. He landed hard on his back, his cock stabbing her sweet spot and causing her to spasm and cry out with pleasure. She got her balance and found her rhythm. Bracing her hands on his chest and sitting up strait, riding him relentlessly.

Tremors of pleasure rocked through her body as she rocked to the soundtrack of pants and moans and groans. His hands caressed her hips, her stomach. He sat up slowly, pushing his hips against hers and Buffy cried out loudly at the sensation. He kissed her lips, her jaw, as they writhed together, wildly passionate, and loud...Buffy tried to temper her moans…what if her mother could hear…but he wrung sound from her without mercy.

His hands fisted in her hair, arching her body like a bow, thrusting her chest out so he could taste and touch and tease. Buffy cried out at the sensations and her fluid movements atop him became sloppy, her hands greedily pulling him closer, and still he wasn’t close enough. Adrenaline washed through her veins, a heightened awareness of every touch and breath and sound. He filled her up and left her begging for more at the same time.

She moaned out loud at the rough touch of his callused fingers as he glided his hands firmly down her slick back to grasp her hips, guide her movements. He pulled her onto his prick more forcefully, changed the angle she was hitting, causing her to quiver and gasp like the wanton woman he turned her into. Buffy twisted and sobbed at his firm kisses, wet tongue finding it’s way along her collarbone, laving a warm kiss to her earlobe, and ending at her throat, leaving a necklace of marks in his wake. She shuddered, even as she tilted her head back, surrendering her neck to him. She could feel her pulse fluttering at her throat in time with the blood pounding in her ears. She danced a knife’s edge between fear and excitement and her whole body spasmed when he nipped her with flat even teeth.

Every rough pull of his hands brought Buffy down sharply down on him, the head of his cock brushing roughly against her g-spot causing her to cry out in little gasps and whimpers. Buffy pushed hard against him, rubbing herself off, and finally her body spiraled out of control as orgasms ripped through her like a tsunami. His own strangled cry entwining with hers as he gave his last few thrusts with desperate urgency. She collapsed against him, boneless and trembling. His hands now soothing against her heated skin.

After a while Spike laid back with her sprawled over him and Buffy fumbled behind her for the blankets bringing them over her rapidly cooling skin. She burrowed against him, breathing in his scent, enjoying the feel of his silky skin against her cheek. Should they talk? What on earth would she say? Buffy lay in the silence and agonized. He would have to promise, promise not to kill or feed or hurt people. She would have to trust him. A soulless evil Vampire. Trust him not to lie to her. Trust him with her family, her friends.

And who was to say he even wanted to? So he indulged in sex with her. It hardly meant that he wanted to give up his entire way of life, deny his nature, and pal around with the Slayer and her friends. He was probably thinking about it right now. Buffy didn’t really think he would hurt her mother, or her sister. But Faith would make a tasty snack on his way out to find Drusilla and go back to madness and mayhem. Was he just waiting for her to fall asleep, avoid the confrontation?

And what if he hunted in Sunnydale? A memory flashed in her mind…A sword through Angel’s gut, his confusion, as he was swallowed by the swirling vortex of light. She would have to do her duty. But she couldn’t even imagine dusting him. But still the scenario played over in her head. Him bent over a helpless victim…raising his head…blood dripping from his fangs. He laughed at her even as the girl fell boneless and limp to the floor and he sprang over dead body…

Spike was pulling away from her. “Where are you going?” She asked, frightened that he hadn’t decided to wait. He began pulling on his jeans, his face a closed mask. “Spike, I thought you were going to stay tonight…”

She couldn’t do this now, it was too soon, she just…she couldn’t even think. He buttoned his fly, he didn’t leave it undone for her. She got out of bed, wrapping a sheet, going to him but he stepped back from her, face all hard planes and angles, eyes blazing angrily.

“You reek of fear.” He accused, running his hands through his hair, not meeting her eyes. “I have to go…I can’t stay here. This was a mistake.” He turned for the door but Buffy couldn’t leave it like that. Her mouth opened of its own violation and words spilled out.

“What do you mean a mistake?” He kept walking away. “Spike,” She ran a bit, grasped his arm to stop him. “Where are you going?”

He did stop, turning his head to look at her from one eye. “Are you going to tell me you’re not afraid?” He whispered and she knew better than to lie.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“But?”

“I’m afraid of what you’re capable of.” She admitted, letting go of his arm and wrapping her hands around her middle. “You’ve got access to my life, my family, my friends…”

”I’ve already proved I can be trusted with them...” He broke in angrily, turning fully and stalking towards her, all panther grace and fluid movement. She retreated instinctually and he stopped short, face twisting angrily, cheeks hollowing out, eyes flashing amber. “I’ve been a good pet vamp, even helped you battle the baddies…”

“That was before…” She took a deep breath. “Spike, things are different now. I don’t have any hold over you…”

He reached out and touched her face and she jumped in her skin. “Oh you’ve got a hold on me. I’ll be who you need me to be...”

“And if you can’t.” She whispered, hating the quaver in her voice, the sheen of tears blurring her vision. “If I have to, to…”

“I won’t, you’ll have to trust me.” He said softly, the pads of his thumbs brushing away her tears.

“But you’re a Vampire.” She looked up at him, pleading silently for him to understand where she was coming from.

“You trust Angel.” He said, and there was a slight bite to his voice that warned her to tread lightly, still it needed to be said…

“He has a soul.”

He spun away from her, punching air and making a strangled sound of frustration. “Well I don’t!” He snarled, striding away from her then spinning back to stalk towards her. “They aren’t handing them out like candy at Halloween either so we’ll have to make due without one.”

“I don’t know if I can…I’ll try…we’ll work at it.” He stopped coming towards her, close enough to touch but miles away.

“I have to go..” He said turning towards the door again.

“Spike! Wait. Spend the night; we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow won’t have changed anything Slayer.” He said in a low strangled voice. “A clean break is best…if you ever need me…” And then he was gone. She struggled into her pajamas and raced down the stairs, calling his name, not caring who she woke. But Angel stopped her at her door.

“He’s gone Buffy, you won’t catch him.” And she knew he was right.


Hello Readers. Thank you all for your kind words. So appreciated. I really wanted to end this story without breaking up the drama. However it was getting really long and I didn't want the ending to feel rushed so I'm going to go ahead and post what I have now and finish up next chapter. Also please excuse any grammar mistakes. I just read it over quickly before posting.

As it turned out the original spell had not been intended to create a mating bond between her and Spike. The original spell was the Tri- Something or other. Anyway Giles explained that the purpose of the spell was for two warriors to blend essences in order to create a powerful magic to defeat a third opponent. When the two “champions” as Giles called them opened their link to the opponent it created a magical vortex that killed all three participants. Something about the third essence of magic or the third realm or third something. So basically the spell was only used in dire circumstances because of the body count.

Giles believed that Drusilla manipulated the original spell in order to affect all souls instead of just three linked beings. And by stepping in and setting up a link we circumvented her changes. However Vampire’s don’t have souls, and they aren’t selfless beings, so Spike’s demon manipulated the spell further by twisting it into something that was acceptable to it. Thus the mating bond. And the mating bond had been so powerful that it had protected both of them when they had opened the bond to a third being creating the vortex thingie. However protecting the two of them destroyed the bond.

So the hellmouth was quiet, everything was right with the world, and Buffy found it easier to focus on the clinical facts of what had happened to her than to think about the emotional whirlwind the whole thing had created. Surely a soul-sucking vortex would have been less painful. So she got up in the mornings and went to school, did the whole college thing. She pretended to be normal, with the bouncy hair and the smiles and the studies. She even began casually dating Riley. In the evening’s she Slayed. Vampire’s and Monsters and all manner of evil things. And she pretended that she did not miss Spike.

Her friends asked her if she was all right and she assured them she was fine. She ruthlessly squashed the urge to sob into her pillow. And she gave her all to making it work with Riley. A nice normal boy. Corn fed, polite, Iowa farm boy. Everything a girl could ask for in a boyfriend. And Buffy felt nothing. His soft gentle kisses left her wanting, and his feather light touches made her giggle. And this whole thing wasn’t really fair to him. They’d been out half a dozen times, and though he hadn’t pressured her at all Buffy could tell that he’d like to move things to the next level.

But here was the crazy thing that she hid in the dark corners of her mind, and didn’t even really admit to herself. Every time Riley touched her Buffy had awful pangs of guilt. Because it felt like she was cheating on Spike. She knew that she was being irrational. Spike was gone. And he was the one who had left. But those cold facts didn’t change the truth. And the truth was she wasn’t ready to sleep with someone else. And it would definitely be a while before she was. So tonight. Tonight she would tell Riley that it was best if they didn’t see each other anymore.

Riley was, of course, promptly on time. And Buffy was running late. She ran about haphazardly putting on her shoes with one hand and brushing through her hair with the other. When she finally made it down the stairs Riley was chatting with her mom. The atmosphere in the room was tense. Dawn was deliberately ignoring him, and her mother was wearing her strained polite smile. Why didn’t her family ever like her boyfriends? Well they had both liked Spike, but that was different.

Buffy gave what was becoming an exhausting cheery smile and bounded up to Riley, taking his arm, and urging him out the door. Always the gentleman Riley opened the door for her and as usual Buffy felt a pang, remembering that Spike always did that for her. God she was pathetic. Riley carefully drove the speed limit and parked neatly in front of the ice cream shop. He then got out and walked around the car to open the door for her, holding her elbow. It was official. She was insane. How on earth could she prefer a swaggering, chain smoking, obnoxious Brit to this sweet guy? That bond had obviously warped her mind.

But after ice cream Buffy took a deep breath and blurted out that she didn’t want to see him anymore. As expected these things never went smoothly. Riley wore his hurt puppy dog expression and wanted to know why. The truth was she really didn’t know so she tried the whole it’s not you it’s me spiel which he didn’t buy for a minute. Polite and well-mannered, yes. Stupid, no. Then he came right out and asked her if this was about that guy she had been seeing and she had admitted that yes partly she just wasn’t over him. This was of course followed by the give me a chance speech, how he wouldn’t push her and he understood she needed to take things slow. This inability to listen to what she was saying was exactly what got on her nerves about him. She’d already said she wanted to call it quits, why did he have to drag it out like this? By the time it was all said and done she had another date with him for Saturday. Her life sucked!

Giving Riley a chaste kiss at the end of their evening made Buffy’s skin crawl, and she knew that he could tell that she was uncomfortable. And now instead of the relief she had told herself she would feel if she told him she felt guilt and dread about her next date. Maybe she should have done this over the phone, where she wouldn’t be affected by puppy dog eyes and could hang up on him right after she was done talking. Then she could have done the avoidance thing, not take his calls and stealthily avoid him at school. It was about time that this Slayer business came in handy for something. But nooooo. She had to be all mature about it. Maturity sucked. And she would not be trying it again any time soon.

Intensely frustrated by her life Buffy took off strait away to Slay without going inside and grabbing extra weapons. The hellmouth had been quiet and she didn’t think that she would need a broadsword or a battle-axe or anything except her trusty stake. Oh and her extra stake. But she never went anywhere without those so she was all prepared to deal out dusty death.

The first two cemeteries were quiet. Buffy carelessly scanned for broken earth and other signs of disturbance. She was far too caught up in her own thoughts however to give much thought to why Sunnydale was so peaceful tonight. She found out why however when she hit the Garden Grove cemetery. She felt them before she saw them. She considered running for it but straitened her spine resolutely and gripped the stake in her pocket for comfort. It was too late for running. If she could sense them they already knew she was there. These were not fledglings.

Still, she did still have time to find some advantage. Choose where to make her stand. Her eyes swept over the graveyard, landing on a tall mausoleum with sweeping stone sides. She pulled out her stake and broke into a run, dodging headstones gracefully. Two Vampires materialized out of the ether between her and her goal but Buffy didn’t stop. She stepped on one stone slab, sprang to a taller headstone and vaulted into the air, tucking her body in close and flying over her twin obstructions. The move was so unexpected that it left the two gaping like idiots long enough for her to crouch into a landing and spin with her back against the stone wall, relatively safe from attack from behind.

She wasted no time, spinning quickly, kicking out. They were on her too fast to count them and Buffy ruthlessly squashed her fear. She concentrated on the fight. Spin kick, short jab, thrust, side swipe. Hit punch dodge turn. There was no time for witty quips or snarky comebacks. She was in a fight for her life and she knew it. The twisted thing was that in the back of her mind she was thinking if she died tonight she had an airtight excuse to miss her date on Saturday. Not even Riley could argue with attending one’s own funeral as a necessary calendar item.

The air became thick with dust and Buffy started to breathe through her mouth to keep from choking on it. She was retreating now, on the defensive. There weren’t that many left. She had worked her way through a swath of evil and ought to be proud. But she was exhausted, limbs shaking uncontrollably. Her movements were becoming clumsy and heavy and they knew it. She could see it on their taunting faces as they circled her. They had long ago drawn her out from the relative safety of her wall. She pictured her mother over her casket and lifted her chin. She wasn’t going down easy.

She sprang on them with a new burst of energy and managed to dust two before she was knocked off balance. Her stake was wretched from her fingers as the Vampire lowered his head to rip her throat out while she struggled ineffectually. And then she fell gracelessly on her butt, breaking her fall with both arms like an amateur. She stared up for one breathless moment at the figure in the dust. Black leather, blazing blue eyes, all she got was a glance before he was whirling to defend her. Never one to be a damsel Buffy clambered to her feet and drew out her extra stake, finding only one Vampire to engage with.

They traded blows for a few seconds, before she managed to get a stake clumsily through his heart. There was no energy left in her for finesse or a display of skill. She was trembling like a leaf and her legs were made of rubber. Not the plastic container kind either, no the floppy stretchy stuff used to make rubber bands. She stood alone in the swirl of dust, making a conscious effort to stand as strait and tall as possible, attempting to ooze confidence in her ability as a slayer. She turned in a circle, finding the cemetery empty except for Spike.

Head tilted, arms akimbo, he looked exactly like he had the last time she had seen him…only with more clothes. Somehow she had expected him to look different, because she was different. They stared at each other and Buffy knew he could hear her heart racing in her chest. For a moment the emotions overwhelming her were so intense that they made her breath shorten and her head feel light. She felt like giggling, she felt like dancing. She was snowed under with joy and affection and peace…it was, it was…

It was love

That was the only way to describe what she was feeling. And the realization left her shaking. She was in love with him. With Spike. Oh God! Could he see it on her face? Did he know? Did it matter? Suddenly she just wanted to throw herself in her arms and confess her feelings. Kiss him and say sweet nothings. Shag him into the ground. He moved suddenly, coming into her space and Buffy tried to be rational, tried to think defensively, but she found herself moving towards him as well. So what if he was a dangerous Vampire, she could handle him.

Her joy was fading fast as he grew nearer. There were so many obstacles, and who’s to say he was even interested in overcoming them. Who’s to say he hadn’t jumped in just because he felt some small amount of misplaced loyalty but would be moving on when they had exchanged pleasantries? And it wasn’t just her heart on the line…Jenny Calendar’s face flashed in her mind and her stomach plummeted to her feet with a sickening jar to her insides. Why did she always fall in love with the impossible?

Spike stood there for a moment and then reached out with both hands wiping the pads of his fingers over her wet cheeks. She hadn’t realized that tears had sprung until he brought it to her attention. No telling how many innocents had fallen prey to him since the last time she had seen him, he looked well fed. Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat. It was Angel all over again. Why were the powers so cruel? She’d learned her lesson when she had let Angel walk free, why did they have to test her like this? All of a sudden she wished he had never come back…because now…because now…

“I haven’t been feeding, been drinking rations since the day I left. Just like bloody peaches.”

She blinked. That was impossible. Vampires didn’t just give up human blood. “Oh come on Spike,” She said softly, her voice trembling. “You don’t really expect me to believe that do you?”

“Have I ever lied to you?” He had her there…but he couldn’t be serious. Spike lived for the kill, he was violence walking, God help her but that was one of the things that drew her to him. “Had to prove I could do it. To myself. Prove I could live without it. Had to prove that the hunt wasn’t as important as I thought it was before I had you.” He paused then, took in her dumbstruck expression. Decided that she was speechless and continued in a suddenly not so gentle tone of voice. “You can call the Poof if you want. I’ve Been parading around LA wearing the poncey cape of defender. Been doing all kinds of disgusting good deeds just to keep myself busy.”

Could he be serious? She wouldn’t have to dust him. But she should call. Even if it meant talking to Angel…about Spike. That would be beyond awkward.

“Why are you here?” The words weren’t right. There were so many things to say, so much to talk about. But they just popped out without her consent and she stood there like an idiot embarrassed for herself.

“Why am I here?” he repeated with a wry twist to his tone, his expression changing like a kaleidoscope and his body springing into familiar action. He began to pace and Buffy smiled, it was good when he did the expected “Why am I here? The bint asks. As if she doesn’t know. As if she doesn’t know she has my heart in the palm of her hand.”

His head swiveled, eyes piercing her. “I’m a soddin fool I am, Love’s Bitch. Always have been. You own me completely, you’re willing slave.” His hands came up, cupped her face, then fell away when he spun around to pace again. She ought to break in but she couldn’t seem to get in a word in edgewise. “But you don’t want me, I’m a bleedin Vampire, can’t be trusted, can’t be loved. Too good for the likes of me. Used to it anyway, got Bloke’s lined up around the bend just beggin for your favor, not that you notice them…got eyes for no one but the…”

He finally went still and silent when she placed her fingers on his lips. She really didn’t know what to say. He still didn’t say why he was here. And for some reason she believed him about where he had been and what he had been doing.

“Are you saying you’re in love with me?” She finally whispered, unable to get any other words past her lips. His eyes bulged and he got that outraged expression that she loved so much on his face.

“In love with you! In love with you! Haven’t you been listening to a word I said? How could you not know I’m in love with you! Are you blind! Are you deaf?”

“Boy, Spike you really know how to woo a girl. Just call her names and she’ll swoon at your feet.” Buffy said, rolling her eyes, but unable to suppress the grin of pure ecstasy on her lips. When he opened his mouth to snark back she stopped him cold by grabbing his hair and pulling him down for a kiss.

She felt like she was drowning in his touch. He immediately snaked arms around her and pulled her close to him. It was like coming home. He tasted the same, fresh and clean, his tongue slid against hers like cool velvet. His shoulders were firm, his muscles tense as she slid her hands over his familiar body. He touched her all over, his hands in her hair, on her face, down her back, on her hips. He nipped, and sucked, and kissed her like there was no tomorrow, and she supposed for them there might not be. It leant an air of desperation to her kisses, her touches. He felt it and responded in kind.

She snapped back to reality when she felt her back pressed roughly up against the mausoleum wall, his hand inching her skirt up as he laid feverish kisses along her collarbone. “Spike, we can’t do this here. In the cemetery. Eewww…”

He chuckled darkly against her skin, one hand in her hair, the other brushing over the vee of her panties. He did it again. “Been so bloody long since I touched you, an eternity…” He whispered, his mouth finding it’s way back to hers and kissing her, soft wet kisses. One long finger pushed the scrap of material aside, finding her wet and wanting.

“Spike, seriously, lets go somewhere else.” She panted between kisses, even as she shamelessly titled her hips to give him better access, a shock rocking through her body when he gently moved his finger over her bare clitoris. He growled words of desire as he trailed his mouth down to her throat. She arched her head back and gave him access as he slipped first one finger, and then two, inside her. Within seconds she was clutching him and trembling as her first orgasm in weeks, since the last time he’d touched her, swept over her. The speed and strength of her response shocked her beyond belief.

She came down off her high to his soft kisses; he had removed his hand from her panties but continued to rock his hips against her as if he couldn’t stop. “Where do you want to go?” He asked breathless, his voice that low husky deep drawl that made her shiver. It was empowering to know that he wanted her this badly.

“You have to know,” She said pushing off the wall, straitening her clothes, “That this can’t work. We can’t be together. We’re too different.” The words came out choked and brittle, tearing her very heart out as she said them. She wanted to confess her love but she knew if she did that Spike would never walk away, he was built that way, loyal. But she could never trust him, not completely, not like before. She took his hand, walking backwards with him, towards somewhere that they could get a room. “Tonight, that’s all there can be. You do know that…right?”

He quickened, pushing into her space, one long leg striding between hers and she walked backwards, his lithe hard body brushing up against hers. “Doesn’t have to be that way, we were all right before. Bloody perfect. Can be again.”

She turned, disentangling herself from him before she tripped and fell on her bum. But she kept onto his hand and sped up her pace. Eager, to be somewhere she could touch him better. “That was before…” She trailed off, not really wanting to talk about it, but needing to before they fell into bed together. She couldn’t lead him on. She couldn’t lead herself on. If she forgot for one moment that this was just temporary she might never be able to let him go. “We can’t have that again. The bond is gone.”

He turned her then, his eyes boring into hers, his hands on her shoulders. “We could have it again.” He whispered. “It’s just a simple bite, some lovemaking, a spell. All you have to do is surrender to me, and you could be mine again.” He whispered.

Her eyes bulged and widened, she hadn’t thought of that. And the dark promise left her speechless.

“Would do anything to be that close to you again.” He continued. “I love you. Love you so completely. I want to have that with you again. And we could Buffy, it would be so easy…” He trailed off, leaning in, kissing her open mouth. “Be mine love, belong to me, I’ll be so good to you I swear…” He kissed the corner of her mouth, bent his head to kiss her neck, pulling her closer. He wrapped his arms around her, slid his hands down to cup her bum. “I’ll make you love me. Love you so good you can’t help it….” He ground her pelvis into hers, reminding her of the fantastic bulge in his pants.

Oh God! She needed to think. She needed to be calm and rational. But he was shoving his hands up under her top to touch her breasts and she couldn’t think of anything except his cool hands…She pushed him away, hard.

He looked up, wounded, his hands still in the air where she used to be.

“You want to be mates again?” She asked dumbfounded. “You can do that?” She rushed on without an answer. Spinning away so she wouldn’t have to look into his eyes, eyes that burned into her soul and made her knees shake. Oh Lord. He was offering her paradise and she didn’t think she could bare it if this glimmering hope was ripped from her. “Are you serious?” She asked in a low voice, her head bent dejectedly.

“Oi, Pet! Don’t be so sad. I’ll be a good mate. I’ll take care of you and love you and…” He trailed off when she spun around and ran into his arms, squeezing tight enough to make him grunt.

She looked up at him through her shining tears. “Can you really do that? Make it like it was?” She asked in a trembling tearful voice and his face gentled.

“Course I can gorgeous. Do anything you want me too. I want to do this. If you’ll just let me. I know you don’t love me like I do you, but in time…” He cut off again when she whacked him in his head.

“You idiot! You blinding self centered idiot. How dare you assume about my feelings. Of course I love you. How could you not know that! Do you think I let Vampires kiss me everyday! What kind of a girl do you think I am?” She took a shuddering breath, revealing in his awestruck look, and looped her arm through his. “Now is your car here or not because I am sooo sick of the cemetery.”

Miracles would never cease, Spike had nothing to say. But he did sweep her up in his arms and break into a run for the edge of the cemetery. She threw her arms around his neck, squealing, that day at the park flashing in her memory. On the street was his car and he set her too her feet, opening the passenger door for her. She got in, scowling at the blacked out windows. She hated not being able to see where she was going. And no matter how good his senses were, Spike must not be able to see well. He was in the drivers seat a moment later but didn’t start the car. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. A room.”

He nodded, looked at her out of the corner of his eye, started the car and peeled off down the road.
 

 
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