Disclaimer: Characters = Joss Whedon. BuffyMeetsSpike = grateful fan. Don't confuse the two.

Thanks for all my wonderful (and patient) reviewers!


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Chapter 11 – Friends
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Willow was staring at the telephone.
 
The daily updates had allowed her to trace Buffy’s route in her mind. Nevada. Utah. Nebraska. Illinois. Indiana. She supposed they were somewhere in New York state by now, although they hadn’t yet called tonight. They would probably be in Boston by morning. As she stared at the phone her mind conjured up images of Kendra with her throat slashed, of Spike threatening her and Xander as he tried to get Drusilla back. She’s so dangerous, and Buffy’s so vulnerable lately, and why am I the only person who seems to think this is a bad, bad, bad idea? For days she had tried to bring up the subject of this inherent badness to Tara and Dawn, but Dawn saw Spike as a big brother and protector, and wanted to see him healed, and Tara felt that Buffy knew what she was doing. But what if she doesn’t? What if she’s just lost it somehow, and this is how it’s manifesting? Why is she doing all this for Spike of all people?
 
Her plan was simple. She was going to call Buffy and tell her that they had lost track of Drusilla on the locator spell. If there was no clue where Drusilla was they would have to give up this quest as hopeless and come home. There would be no other choice. Dawn and Tara had gone out to get takeout, and for once Willow had the house to herself. This was her chance for a private conversation. Sure, there would be fallout. Nobody liked being lied to. But this was for a greater good. You could make them forget, said the devil on her shoulder. You’ve done it before. She reached for the phone and dialed Buffy’s cell.
 
Spike had been awake for at least a half hour, just watching her sleep. She was curled up next to him, her head close to his on the pillow, her warrior’s fists relaxed under her cheek. God, what a lovely sight, he thought. He had so rarely gotten to watch her this way. Usually he was equally exhausted after their wild couplings, or she took off immediately to get back to Dawn, after breaking his nose again. He felt fiercely protective of her as he listened to her steady heartbeat and watched her chest rise and fall.
 
The peace was shattered by the electronic beeping of the cell phone. Buffy was so tired that she didn’t even stir. Spike looked across the room to where Buffy’s bag lay on the chair and thought about trying to get there to silence it. Fuck it, he decided. I’m not waking her, and I’ll probably make more noise than the sodding phone if I try to get there. Whoever it is can wait. He ignored the continued ringing and settled back down to admire his Slayer.
 
Willow frowned as the phone rang and rang with no answer. She looked at the clock and did some mental math. It’s about 6:30 pm their time. Why aren’t they up yet? They usually call around now. As she listened to the tenth ring, Dawn and Tara walked in carrying bags of Chinese food. Willow quickly hung up the phone and turned around with a smile. “Here, let me help.”
 
Dawn started unloading the bags, but Tara had noticed the guilty way Willow hung up the phone. “Willow, who were you talking to?” she asked.
 
“It was a wrong number,” Willow said quickly.
 
Tara tightened her lips. Willow’s aura was darker, shifting. She was clearly hiding something. “We’ll be right back, Dawn,” Tara said in a determined voice as she seized hold of Willow’s arm and led her to the back porch, slamming the door behind her. “The truth, Willow. Why were you calling Buffy?”
 
“I wasn’t…” Willow protested.
 
“Then why is your aura screaming ‘liar’ to me?” Tara retorted. “I swear to the Goddess that if you try to use magic or any other tricks to stop Buffy I will kick you out of this house myself.”
 
Willow jumped guiltily and backed up a bit. Tara never yelled at her. Even during the worst of their arguments she had hardly raised her voice. Willow hadn’t realized Tara was capable of this boiling anger. “Tara, please, you’ve got to listen to me! She’s in terrible danger and I can’t just…”
 
“You most certainly can, and you will,” Tara insisted. “She is going after one vampire. Not a hell god, not a cyborg - one vampire. If she says that she can do it, then you have got to trust that she can. She has always asked for help when needs it. If you have a problem with her relationship with Spike, then that is your problem. But I am not going to stand by and let you make it her problem. Do you understand me?” Tara had clenched her fists and was unconsciously advancing on Willow while she spoke. Willow backed away until she hit the wall of the house, her eyes wide and alarmed.
 
“Tara, I didn’t actually do anything, okay?” Willow stammered. “I was just… going to call her and tell her…”
 
“You were going to lie to her,” Tara realized.
 
“I… um… yeah,” Willow whispered. She hung her head in shame as her cheeks burned red.
 
“Why?” Tara demanded. “What possible good could come of that?”
 
“I don’t know, okay?” Willow cried. “I just don’t want her to get killed again! Not after all this… stuff we went through. I just couldn’t stand it again!”
 
Tara closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. Opening her eyes she said, “Willow, look at me.” Willow obeyed, tears running down her cheeks. “She could die any day. We all could. But she could also live every day if you’d just let her. You can’t fix what you did with the resurrection spell. You can only live with her as she is now, and let her figure out what she wants to do. If you try to arrange things your way, you’re going to lose everything. Especially me.”
 
Willow’s tears turned into full on weeping as she sank to her knees and covered her face. “Oh God, Tara. I’m so sorry. I wanted to lie to her… and fix it so she didn’t know… and I’m so, so sorry…”
 
Tara watched her for a moment, then taking pity on her, helped her to her feet. She put her arms around Willow and said, “Any time you feel like that, you tell me, right away, and I’ll help you. Alright?” Willow nodded into her shoulder, and they stood there for a long time, waiting for the storm to pass.
 
Willow finally straightened up and dried her face. They turned to go into the house to find Dawn sitting at the table, idly picking at the Chinese food on her plate. She didn’t even look at Willow. Hearing grownups fight always triggered something in Dawn. She knew, deep down, that the memories she had of her parents fighting weren’t real. But they were real enough to make her stomach clench.
 
Tara served herself and sat down next to Dawn. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, Dawnie,” she said.
 
“Me too,” Willow added as she sat down.
 
“Are you really sorry?” Dawn snapped. “Or are you lying again?” Her blue eyes narrowed accusingly at Willow, who found herself shrinking a bit before their fury.
 
“I’m… I’m really sorry,” Willow stammered.
 
“Should I start writing things down in my journal?” Dawn asked sarcastically. “Are you going to start erasing memories again?”
 
Willow’s face burned at the accusation but she managed to meet Dawn’s glare and say, “Dawn, I promise you, I’ll never do that spell again. It was a majorly bad idea, I know that. I know you don’t have any real reason to trust me. But I swear, I won’t do that again.”
 
Dawn kept glaring at Willow, suspicious and angry, but Tara said, “I’m glad you understand how wrong it was. But I think you need to go back to no magic again. No more locator spells or anything. Anya and I will do it if we need to.”
 
Willow opened her mouth to protest, but when she saw the still fuming teen and the stern face of Tara arrayed against her, she relented. “You’re right. I’m… I’m really sorry.”
 
“Let’s just finish eating, okay?” Tara suggested, and they all finished their plates in silence.
 
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Spike could have stayed there forever, holding her and watching her sleep. But as the cheap electric clock next to the bed clicked over to 7:00, he realized that they should really get going. After this perfect night of closeness, he wanted more than ever to find a cure for the poison in his system. Could get used to this, he thought. With a little sigh of regret for having to disturb her, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Buffy, love. Time to wake up.”
 
Buffy stirred and rolled over as her eyes fluttered open. “Good morning, er, evening,” she said sleepily.
 
“It’s just gone seven o’clock. I guess we should get on our way.” He found her completely charming as she sat up, stretched, and pushed her hair back.
 
Buffy noticed the little smile on his lips and said, “I know. I look like Medusa in the morning. Evening. Gah, this vampire schedule screws me up!”
 
“You look beautiful as always, Slayer,” Spike said in a low voice, and Buffy felt a small surge of warmth through her entire frame at the sound.
 
“Thanks,” she said shyly. She got up then, grabbed her bag, and went into the bathroom. She emerged about fifteen minutes later looking considerably more awake and put together. After rummaging in another bag she found the cell phone to call home. “Did the phone ring while I was asleep?” she asked, noticing the missed call indicator.
 
“Yeah, about forty-five minutes ago,” Spike replied. “Didn’t want to wake you.”
 
Slightly concerned, she called home. She felt a flood of relief when Dawn answered. “Hey Dawn, it’s me. Is everything alright there? I missed your call.”
 
“That was Willow,” Dawn said, frowning at the witch in question. “She was once again planning to get you to give up and come home.”
 
Buffy frowned in turn. “Can you put her on, please, Dawn?” Buffy had only spoken to Tara or Dawn since this whole adventure began, feeling that she had enough on her plate without listening to Willow’s objections. But this was getting old, and it needed to stop.
 
“Hi, Buffy,” came Willow’s voice, sounding small and contrite.
 
“Willow, what’s your problem now?” Buffy demanded.
 
Willow winced at the harsh tone. “I.. um…” she stammered, having no idea what to say.
 
“Actually, you know what, I don’t care. We’ve been over this. Repeatedly. I don’t plan to quit until I find her, understand?”
 
“I think I’m getting the message,” Willow muttered, conscious of the glares coming from Dawn and Tara. “I’m… I’m not going to do any more spells. Tara and Anya will do the locator spell if you need it, but I’m really struggling, and I need to quit.”
 
“Fine,” Buffy said. “Just keep it under control. Because if I find out you did something to prevent me from helping Spike, you are dead to me, do you hear?”
 
“Got it,” Willow said quietly. “I’m sorry, Buffy.”
 
“Apology accepted. Now let me talk to my sister,” Buffy said shortly. Willow wordlessly passed the phone to Dawn. “Dawn? Did she try anything?”
 
“No, she was just thinking of it,” Dawn answered. “Tara’s helping keep things together.”
 
“Good. You listen to Tara, okay?”
 
“Okay,” Dawn replied. “Where are you?”
 
“I’m in Erie, Pennsylvania,” she said. “We’ll probably get to Boston by tomorrow morning. Tell Tara to see if she can do a more specific locator spell tomorrow so I can get the update as soon as possible.”
 
“I will,” Dawn promised. “Be careful, okay?”
 
“I will. You too, Dawnie.” They rung off and Buffy threw the phone down, frowning in irritation.
 
“Red up to her old tricks, is she?” Spike wondered.
 
“She was going to try to find some way of derailing us,” Buffy said. “Seriously, what the hell is her problem?”
 
“A combination of concern and power trip, I expect,” Spike mused.
 
“Got that right,” Buffy muttered. “Anyhow, let’s get out of here so we can get to Boston before sunrise.” She gathered their things, loaded the car, then loaded the vampire, as she had every night. This time, however, she gave him a quick, gentle kiss on his startled lips as she helped him into the car.
 
“What was that for?” he asked.
 
“For last night,” she answered. With no additional information, she went around to the driver’s side and got in. The usual ritual of finding a dinner spot was accomplished quickly at a fast food burger joint, and soon they were back on the Interstate heading east. “So, what do we talk about tonight?” she asked after a few minutes.
 
“Dunno,” Spike answered. “Haven’t we covered just about everything?”
 
“Almost,” Buffy said thoughtfully. “I guess we still haven’t covered one topic.”
 
“What’s that?”
 
“Us,” Buffy said quietly. Spike looked at her questioningly while she steadfastly fixed her eyes on the road. “What are we? To each other, I mean,” she added in a hesitant voice.
 
Spike too turned to look out at the highway unrolling in front of them. “Was all easier when we were mortal enemies, wasn’t it?” he began philosophically. “Not so long ago I knew exactly what the deal was. William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers versus Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I kill you, drink your blood, screw Drusilla, nice and simple.”
 
“Well, except for the fact that you never did succeed in that ‘I kill you’ part,” she said with a touch of a smirk.
 
“You cheated. You had a mother with an axe. Not bloody fair,” Spike retorted.
 
“You had minions, seemed fair at the time,” Buffy shot back. “But I get what you’re saying. It was a lot easier when I started. Vampires and demons are evil, so kill them. Pretty straightforward.”
 
“And now?” Spike inquired.
 
Buffy blew out a long breath. “Now it sucks,” she said. “My ‘good’ friends have done some pretty shitty things, and the evil vampire has been backing me up. Everything’s backwards, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
 
Spike thought for a moment. “What would you think of me if I wasn’t a vampire? Hypothetically speaking. Give me back a pulse and a soul, otherwise leave me as I am. What would you think?” He turned to watch her face as she struggled with a response.
 
Cursing herself for bringing up this whole topic in the first place, she chewed her lip and pondered that question. “Well, you’d still be a fashion victim trapped in the ‘80’s,” she began jokingly. “You’d still be a total pig sometimes.”
 
“Watch it, Slayer,” Spike growled lightly.
 
Abashed, Buffy continued, “But I’d have to say that you’re a friend. You do a lot of that friend-y stuff. You listen to me, and tell me the truth. You look out for Dawn, and you save me from doing stupid things sometimes. It’s like…” She trailed off for a moment.
 
“Like what?”
 
Buffy continued slowly. “ If I… if I hadn’t jumped you… that first time, I think… maybe we could have had something… eventually.” She turned eight shades of red as she contemplated her complete lack of restraint that night in the abandoned house.
 
“It wasn’t all your fault, you know,” Spike broke in. “I was no gentleman. I was goading you, pushing you. I wanted to drag you down to my level. I could have stopped you. Too bloody selfish to stop.”
 
“You’ve almost got an excuse, given the lack of soul thing,” Buffy replied. “After you said that I came back wrong, I sometimes wondered if I had left my soul behind or something. It gave me an excuse for what I was doing.”
 
“Nothing was wrong with you, Slayer,” Spike said gently. “I was being a dick. Had no right to say that to you.”
 
“So, what, do we keep apologizing to each other for the next year or so?” Buffy asked. “I don’t know what to do here! I’ve never been with someone like you. The Slayer manual doesn’t cover this sort of thing.”
 
“Always forget how young you are, pet,” Spike said, with a tender note in his voice that made her glance over at him. “You’ve had so much thrown at you, in such a short time. Of course you don’t know what to do. Hell, I barely know what to do and I’ve had a hundred plus years of figuring out relationships.”
 
“Then what do we do, Mr. Experience?”
 
“I suppose we could bury the hatchet, and just see where we end up,” he said with a shrug.
 
“You mean, I forgive you for being a pig and a vampire, and you forgive me for being a bitch?”
 
Spike chuckled. “As ever, you butcher the king’s English until it screams for mercy. But essentially, yes.” He looked over at her curiously. “What brought on all this soul searching about our relationship, love?”
 
“Willow,” Buffy said with a sigh. “After this trip, provided we’re successful, we have to go back to Sunnydale and face Willow, and Xander, and all that shit. I guess I want to figure out what our deal is while we don’t have all the background noise.”
 
“I’m yours, Buffy,” Spike said. “I’ll help you fight, give you an ear, whatever you need. But you’ve got to meet me halfway, yeah? Won’t let you treat me like dirt anymore.”
 
“I won’t. I promise. Right now, I need a friend who’s on my side more than anything. Can you… can we be friends?” Buffy asked, her voice pleading for understanding.
 
“I’d like nothing better,” Spike replied. He reached over and gently put his hand on her knee, and she covered it with hers. They drove on, holding hands, with renewed understanding like a lifeline holding them together. 

TBC