Disclaimer: Alas, Spike is not mine.

Author’s note: Once again *hugs* to the fab BTL for the beta job. You rock my socks! And if anyone reading this hasn’t checked out BTL’s newest fic ‘Always There’ what are you waiting for???

Thanks to Max, Marzbar, Spike_spetslayer, chanel 5, Payton, ChrissieLinnit, Wulfie and Angie for the fab reviews!
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Chapter 16: Keeping Silent

Buffy awoke to the gentle cries of her infant son. With a start she realised that he wasn’t in her arms but being rocked gently by Annette in the far corner of the room.

Anyanka must have brought her over, Buffy thought as she sat up on the bed, her body sore from the birth.

“Madame!” cried Annette, happily. “He is a beautiful little boy. Monsieur William will be so proud to be the father of such a handsome young man.”

Buffy’s heart plummeted. She wanted Spike to see his little boy but she had this horrible, horrible feeling that if any of the Aurelian clan knew of his existence he would be their supper.

Her baby was only a few hours old and already he had enemies.

“What is his name Madame?” asked Annette, gazing down at the little bundle.

“Christopher William Underwood Fairchilde.”

“Such a large name for such a little man, perhaps he will grow into it Madame?” asked Annette.

Buffy laughed sadly before falling back on her pillows. Annette handed the baby back to his mother. The ideas were swirling around in Buffy’s brain, just what she was going to do now, if she could possibly live without the Immortal’s interference.

There was a knock on the door.

Buffy bade Annette open the door to reveal a demon, dressed conservatively, looking the part of an older woman. Buffy rolled her eyes, clearly this demon was acting a part.

“D”Hoffryn told me to come to help you with the infant,” said the woman with a curtsey.

Alarm bells started going off in her head. Buffy clutched her child closer to her breast and got up off the bed.

“What is your name demon?” asked Buffy harshly, as she walked towards Annette and the door.

“Morhana, great Erixel. Here at D’Hoffryn’s bidding.”

“Yes you said that,” noted Buffy. “Well with you here, I guess I don’t need my human maid now do I?”

The demon in the doorway nodded. Annette looked up at her mistress with fear in her eyes.

“Very well, let me send her back, and you and I can have a discussion about your duties,” said Buffy very business like.

Buffy grabbed Annette’s hand and opened a portal. With a coy smile Buffy waved at the demon in the doorway as she stepped through it, Annette’s hand clutched in hers, and did not return.
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The sense of paranoia that Buffy had regarding her little family intruded on her thoughts every waking moment of everyday for weeks afterwards. It had been one look from little Christopher that had convinced her heart that she would never be able to give him up to anyone.

Still, the three moves to different cities was beginning to wear on not only her and the baby but also Annette.

It was time to make a hard decision.
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Buffy opened a portal into Reagan’s bedroom, burning a hole in the carpet and waking the two humans who had been sound asleep in the ornate bed before her.

“Buffy?” asked a sleepy Reagan, sitting up in the bed, Arthur muttering about inconsiderate demons.

“Reagan I need a huge favour...” began Buffy.

“A favour that couldn’t wait until morning?” asked Arthur.

Regan shushed her husband and rose from the bed, night gown clad. A step closer and Regan noticed the small bundle that Buffy held in her hands.

“Oh Buffy! Is that...”

“Christopher, meet your Aunt Reagan,” introduced Buffy.

“He’s so precious, and such beautiful eyes,” said Regan looking at he baby. “He’s William’s isn’t he?” asked Reagan.

Buffy nodded. “Unfortunately the Immortal thinks that Christopher is his. It’s not safe for him anywhere.”

“Hence the favour?” asked Reagan.

“Yes.”

William grabbed a hold of Reagan‘s index finger and squeezed. “Oh Buffy, of course I’ll help you, what do you need?”

Buffy hugged her friend.

“A spell and place to hide.”
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Erixel set the hellhound loose a sinister smile on her lips. The beast had the scent of her victim. Another wish granted, another life taken at her hands. And she liked it that way.

She brushed the dog hairs off of her dress for a moment, the quiet sounds of the alley interrupted only by the occasional clatter of carriages.

It had been 2 months since she last saw Christopher and she missed him deeply. She loathed travelling alone and as a demon, instead of like the lady she knew herself to be. Annette was with Christopher, a spell protecting them from detection, a glamour disguising their features. Reagan’s spell was ingenious, as most of her spells were. Christopher’s true features would be disguised to any but his blood relatives. Even Annette had to look forward to raising a baby that looked more like her than his mother.

Reagan had told her once that her love for William was what kept her just a little bit human. Buffy felt that it was the day that she said goodbye to her son that she became just a little more demonic. Her interpretation of wishes became harsher and farther reaching. And she stopped thinking of herself as Elizabeth. Elizabeth was dead, and there was nothing in her anymore that reminded her of the Slayer she had once been.

She lived on Vengeance, as Anyanka did. She avoided The Immortal like the plague and cast a weary eye out for Watchers and Slayers.

She made her home Arashamahar, avoiding the trouble of making a new identity for herself whenever she moved someplace new. Anyanka was happy at this turn of events, even if she was mad at Erixel for not telling her the location of the baby.

Buffy desperately wanted to trust Anyanka with her secret, but with the way that her friend spread gossip, she could never be certain that this secret would stay hidden.

Brushing off the last of the fur on her dress Buffy looked up into the alley, extending her senses for anyone who might use her services in the area. There was a prostitute on the corner, and a street urchin holed up in a crate at the end of this alley.

Street urchin it was.

Buffy hiked her skirts and stepped over a puddle of D’Hoffryn knows what, only to be stopped by a hand on her arm. Without thinking Buffy repulsed the intruder away, only turning to see who it was after the fact.

Vampires. Two of them. And they smelled like the Immortal.

Buffy growled a little, as she watched the two half breeds rise from their place on the ground.

“Hold still damn it!” said one of them, as he made to grab her again, Buffy using her demonic talents to send him flying once more.

Buffy rolled her eyes, intending to leave them in the filth that they were sitting in. She turned, and ran right into the Immortal.

“My dear, Erixel, it has been an age since we last spoke,” he greeted, charm oozing off of him. “I see my dear that time has been kind to you. Where pray tell are you keeping our child?”

“Straight to the point I see,” replied Buffy stepping away from him, and into the arms of the two vampires. “Perhaps I should make this clear to you. My child is not yours. You are not the father. So leave me the hell alone!”

Buffy wrenched her arms out of the vampires’ grasp and teleported away.
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“I’m not going into Italy, Anyanka!” she screamed at her friend.

Buffy stood in the middle of her lair, furious that her friend would even suggest such a thing.

“Well you don’t need to be so loud about it,” answered the Scourge of men, rubbing her ear. “I know that you don’t want to see the Immortal but Rixy you can’t avoid him forever if he wants to find you.”

“And he finds me everywhere. Well everywhere in Europe anyway. One day in a new city and his stupid spies tell him where I am.”

“Ok, but I promise this is just for one day! And you have to come, there will be plenty of wishes to go around and it’s such a beautiful idea, I can’t pass it up.”

“Did you actually get the mayor’s wife to wish to have all the people her husband slept with at a party populated by demons?”

Anyanka nodded furiously. “She’s doing all the arrangements, and the human guest list. I’m bringing the demons.”

Buffy sighed, knowing that she was going to cave. “Oh alright, but just one night! One!”

Anyanka giggled and bounced away, leaving Buffy with her thoughts.

Going to Italy posed more problems than just running into the Immortal. Last she had heard, Angelus, Darla, Drusilla and Spike were in Venice, feasting on gondoliers or some such thing.

She had a feeling the Scourge of Europe was going to be on the guest list. And if they were, then she could not put off telling Spike about her blond bundle of joy hiding in the English countryside. She felt guilty enough for not having told him already.
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The ballroom was exquisitely decorated, complimenting the effort that Buffy had put into her dress tonight. Her pale pink gown rustled against her legs, legs on which she had failed to cover up with the required abundance of knickers. She tried to will away the thought that she had dressed for William. She didn’t even know if he was going to be here for sure. She had left her blond hair loose, newly shorn due to an irritating encounter with Krevlin at his latest party.

Anyanka was dressed in purple, the bell of the ball. The hostess was kind and completely unaware of exactly what Anyanka had in mind for the evening. It caused Buffy to shiver, the anticipation of so much vengeance, so much suffering for those who deserve it.

She was all of four steps into the ballroom when she was approached for a dance by some Italian human. Time to go to work, she thought, letting a radiant smile cross her lips.

Two cases of exploding heads, one wish to have their father eaten alive by worms and a one wish to have an aunt haunted forever by a dead dog, and Buffy was in need of some punch. In a corner of the room, the hostess of the event looked disappointed, as there appeared to be no demons present at the party, in her eyes. Buffy knew better though, there were at least 5 vampires in the room, four vengeance demons, and at least fourteen others that Buffy didn’t know or couldn’t identify from a distance.

Buffy raised her punch glass to her lips only to have her attention diverted to the doors at the end of the hall open, allowing the entrance of four individuals Buffy knew by sight, and smell. She felt her heart begin to flutter, as she watched Angelus stroll in, Darla on one arm, Drusilla on the other, Spike trailing behind.

It had been over a year since she last saw him, that night in London, before the Immortal drugged her, the last time she felt his touch. Her eyes followed him as the four vampires crossed the room. Spike was trying to act cocky and tough, but she could tell that he was disappointed and hurting from Drusilla’s constant attentions to Angelus. He looked on the dark haired vampiress with love, something he hadn’t done with her since they were both human. She missed that look.

“Is that your William?” asked Anyanka suddenly appearing by her side.

Buffy blushed, instantly hoping that Anyanka didn’t see it.

“He is very handsome,” noted Anyanka. “I believe he would give any woman wonderful orgasms. But men are pigs Erixel, you know that. This one, he won’t leave his sire for you, he doesn’t profess his love for you...Why are you still pining after this vampire?”

“He was the first man I fell in love with Anyanka, you don’t get over that.”

“If you say so Erixel. Are we ready for this party to get going already?” she asked. “Have you got enough wishes out of these fools?”

Buffy nodded, unsure of exactly what she wanted to do now. She did know that once Anyanka gave the signal or released the spell or whatever, the room would erupt into chaos. Any good vengeance demon would be leaving post haste.

Buffy had to see a vampire about a baby.

Anyanka snapped her fingers and whatever it was that was holding the various demons back from killing was suddenly lifted. Screams filled the air, as vampires and demons leapt on their prey.

Buffy hitched up her skirts and walked into the fray, intent on reaching her vampire who was feasting on the neck of some old dowager.

“Put that down and come with me William,” said Buffy firmly, staring him down, her green eyes daring him to challenge her.

Wisely, Spike dropped the dying matron and followed her to a little room to the left of the ballroom. The room looked like it housed the cases of all the instruments the hired band was using and then some, stacks of paper littered the floor, the lone oil lamp flickering in the darkness.

Spike raked his eyes over her tight bodice, remembering just what was contained therein. It had been months since he had finally pushed her out of his mind, repressing his feelings given the hurtful information he had learned.

He had left London with a heavy heart, knowing that he’d damaged her far more than she’d damaged him. It would have been so much easier if she had not loved him at all, if she had truly thought him beneath her.

Spike had arrived in Rome to hear the rumours that the Immortal had gotten the demon Erixel with child. He had killed the demon who told him as well as the fourteen others in the bar. The hurt was far worse than he ever imagined a stake to the heart could have been. She had hurt him again, and too soon after they had been together.

So he repressed, went back to Drusilla, his tail between his legs begging her to forgive him. He still had bruises from her forgiveness.

The woman before him now didn’t look like she had had a baby recently. She looked like the same seventeen year old he had met in London Society years ago.

“Well?” he asked with a tone that was trying to convince himself of his annoyance. “What is so bloody important that you are dragging me away from the feast of the century?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “How about I invite you to the next event Anyanka plans, make up for all that yummy blood you are missing out on right now? I have something I have to talk to you about, so sit down already!” she ordered.

Without knowing why he did, Spike sat, sort of eager to hear what was so important. No doubt she had to get back to her love nest with the Immortal. First Dru, now Buffy... He looked up at her, his eyes giving her consent to continue.

Buffy took a deep breath. “In London, that last time we shagged...”

“You mean that time before you got friendly with the Immortal and decided to have his child? I heard the rumours Buffy! You and the Immortal expecting your love child! Do you think it would hurt me more? You seem to like to do that.”

A lone tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, before she reached out and slapped Spike hard across his face.

“Shut up! You don’t know anything!” she yelled trying to keep her tears in check. “You couldn’t know anything, you left too fast! If you had stayed he wouldn’t have been able to rape me!” The tears flowed freely down her rosy cheeks. “If you had stayed I wouldn’t have had to hide my son! I wouldn’t have had to hide our son!”

“And just why the hell would I believe a lying bitch like you?“ He spat back, holding his cheek. “After everything...”

“Everything I’ve done? Try to protect you William? Try to get you to forgive me? Try to have a happy life for myself? Oh ya I can see why you are so angry. Are you so angry that someone violated your sex toy? ‘Cause that’s what it was Spike! I wasn’t even awake for it! He drugged me. The bastard drugged me and raped me and you feel like something’s been done to you?”

Spike stared back in shock trying to let everything register. Anger grew at the thought that the Immortal had taken what was his, and unwillingly at that. Buffy was his. Suddenly he grabbed her arm and brought it to his nose. Inhaling deep he caught the scent of five distinct people, only one of which was male. He caught Buffy’s eye, her green orbs piercing into his.

“You smell him don’t you? Our baby. He doesn’t smell like the Immortal Spike. He’s perfect and healthy and human. Disposition of an angel. Do you honestly think I could...” Buffy trailed off shaking her head.

“Could what?” Spike asked. “You are mine, Buffy...”

“Oh?“ she said bitterly. “The one person I ever wanted to have children with...the one man I ever loved and you used me, left me to be with her! Left me to be...If you had stayed I wouldn’t have been separated from our son,” she cried, quieter as she sank to her knees before him, her pink skirts floating out beside her.

“O..our son?” Spike asked hesitantly, still unsure of so many things, dropping her hand.

“Christopher William Underwood-Fairchilde,” nodded Buffy, wiping her tears with her glove. “The moment he was born, when I looked at his face, he looks like you William. He is the most beautiful wish that ever was granted.”

“You wished for him?” asked Spike, sitting back down.

Buffy nodded again. “When I dropped my pendant...”

Buffy could tell that the gears in his head were racing a mile a minute. Cautiously she took his hand and held it gently in her own as she looked up into his eyes. She steeled herself against what she had to say next.

“I know it’s sudden. I know you weren’t expecting this...and...and I don’t expect anything from you or for you to instantly leave Drusilla, though it would be fantastic if you would...I just wanted you to know that you have a son, that we have a son.” She exhaled again, glad that it was over.

Spike was utterly speechless, and that was something in itself. He had a son. A son with Buffy.

“Why aren’t you with him now? Where is he?” he demanded, his ire rising again.

His questions were valid, but she wished he hadn’t asked her.

Buffy’s gaze reverted to the floor. “I can’t tell you where he is, Spike. The immortal wants him. Why I don’t know, I’ve told the idiot that Christopher’s not his, but still he follows me. He probably has spies at this party even now.”

“I want to see him.”

Buffy stood, her soft expression leaving her face.

“No.”

“What do you mean no?” Spike questioned, standing up. “Buffy he’s mine too. I want to see him.”

Buffy shook her head. “No Spike. I won’t put him in danger. He is safe. He will grow up, away from demons, and have the life his parents never had. I’m sorry Spike but I won’t tell you.”

“There isn’t anything I can say or do to change your mind?” he asked.

Buffy swore her heart stopped for a second. That question opened up so many possibilities. One word from her and he would leave Drusilla, stay with her. She could wish him human, she could crush her pendant and join him in the humanity they lost. They could be a family; Mr. and Mrs. Fairchilde and their son Christopher, country gentility.

If only she would tell him where her son was. If only she would speak the words out loud. If only she could risk Christopher’s life.

Once upon a time she would have done anything for her William. This was the one thing she wouldn’t do.
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tbc...