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Second Youth by Ariel Dawn
 
Male Posturing
 
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Disclaimer: Not mine ok? You don’t have to rub it in.
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Male Posturing

It was a beautiful Saturday morning, Buffy had decided. She and Dawn were going to spend more of Spike’s money and start Christmas shopping. It was November after all.

Buffy had been glad to see that Tara and Willow were acting normally to each other again. The house of no talking had suddenly become habitable again. Buffy wasn’t under any illusions though. Willow was on a thin thread where Tara and spells were concerned. Buffy was just glad that Amy hadn’t come back from the bonding with her dad.

Buffy bounced into the kitchen to see Willow making non magical pancakes.

“So Wills, you me, ice cream, gummy bears and Ever After?“ asked Buffy.

“Ever After? I haven’t seen that movie in a long time.“

“Good, then it’s a date! We are having best friend bonding tonight, after a quick patrol, you me and the gummies will tell all.“

“All?“

“Well, I reserve the right to refrain from answering on the grounds that you might not like the future.“

“Fair enough. But I want dirt! Spike related dirt.“

Buffy smiled.
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Dawn stood in front of s display of sunglasses, trying on different pairs.

“Do you really think you need another pair of sunglasses, don’t you have like 50?“

“I need just the right pair to wear at Janice's party next Saturday night!“

“You are wearing sunglasses at night, what? Are you Cory Hart now?“

“Who?”

Buffy groaned. Children!

“So you went out with Nate last night?” asked Dawn.

“For like twenty minutes. And with Anya. It’s not something to get beat up about. I can’t wait until he just leaves.”

“I can’t believe that Spike hasn’t eaten him yet, or at least tried to, cause you know, the chip.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Spike wouldn’t eat Nate. He’s all bark but no bite,” Buffy giggled at her own joke.

Dawn groaned this time. “Don’t you wonder though what it would be like if say Angel or Riley showed up and you were all hot and heavy with Spike?”

“No Dawn I so don’t wonder about that!”

Buffy didn’t have to wonder about that at all, she had the not so pleasant memories. Memories that she felt she could learn from.

“Maybe I should bite the bullet and call them now, and tell them, that not only have I moved on from them both but that I’m married and to Spike, William the Bloody. Ya, that would go over well.”

“Are you and Spike gonna get like real married? Can I be your Maid of Honour?”

“Dawn...”

“What it’s a perfectly reasonable question.”

“It’s up to him Dawn, not me. If someday he asks, I’m certainly not going to turn him down.”

“When he asks then? Can I? Please?”

“Consider yourself hired. Come on, they are having a sale on Polident.”

“But Buffy you have your own teeth now, remember?”
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Buffy and Dawn returned to the Magic Box, overwhelmed by the amount of bags that they carried. However once Buffy was in the door, an eager Nate was there to take her bags from her.

“Miss Summers, allow me to help you,” he said after he took the bags.

“Uh, thanks I think.”

Dawn settled down at the table, and started flipping through one of the books Giles had left on the table. Nate put down the bags and began to go through his own papers, in search of the contract.

“Mr...ahh...Giles here has read the contract Miss Summers and has agreed that the terms as they now stand are acceptable.”

“I think I could have told her that myself you git,” muttered Giles, so that Nate couldn’t hear him.

Buffy could though and giggled. Buffy made her way to the ladder at the opposite end of the shop and sat down on the second rung.

“Alright, bring on the contract, I want to sign the thing so I can get my money. My sugar daddy doesn’t need me mooching off of him forever.”

Nate’s ears perked up at that.

“I beg your pardon Miss Summers?”

Buffy blushed. “I have a sugar daddy?”

Nate’s gaze fell to Giles and the younger watcher scowled. Following his gaze Buffy nearly gagged.

“Ewwwww! Not Giles!” Buffy made gross face.

Dawn audibly blanched. “Can I second that Ewww and raise you a three cringes and a lurg?”

“I don’t know, said Anya, “I don’t think Giles is a good example of the male of the human species, he is well proportioned and has a sexy dangerous quality about him.”

Giles cleared his throat.

”Oh of course I am still madly devoted to my Xander.”

“Nate?” asked Buffy bringing her ex husband back to reality, “Contract?”

“Ahh yes...” Nate handed her the contract and a pen.

“I will of course be reading the thing before I put my john handkerchief on it.”

“I think you mean John Hancock, love,” came Spike’s voice from the back entrance.

“Do you ever sleep when all the normal vampires are sleeping?” she asked.

“Not when this wanker is up and about,” said Spike motioning towards Nate.

“I beg your pardon!” demanded the younger watcher.

“You heard what I said,” Spike smirked. Spike walked closer to the watcher menacingly.

“Ooh a display of masculine posturing!” clapped Anya.

“Ya, it’s divine,” said Dawn. “I’m going home, I think I can come up with something better to do than watching Nate and Spike fight over Buffy.”

Buffy just rolled her eyes and kept reading. She trusted both Spike and Nate enough to not kill each other. Well not in her presence anyway.

“I am not inclined to respond politely or at all to a vampire who is merely a shadow of what he once was,” said Nate with a scowl.

Buffy looked up from her contract.

“Would ya like to find out just how much of a shadow I really am?”

“I know all about your incapacitating chip William the Bloody... You can’t possibly hurt me.” Nate took off his suit jacket and laid it down on the research table.

“Oh is this how it’s gonna be then? You’ll but down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll fight each other like civilized men?” Spike said the line with absolute seriousness.

Buffy nearly lost it. She had to support herself from rolling around on the floor laughing.

“Buffy you cannot possibly allow them to simply go at it like pair of bucks fighting over a doe?” said Giles.

“Why not? They seem to want to.”

“You aren’t fit to be in her presence, much less be in her circle of friends,” spouted Nate.

“Are you calling me a Scooby now?” Spike was outraged.

“How about they go into the training room, to continue their displays masculine prowess?” said Anya, clearly afraid for her merchandise.

“That’s a good idea,” said Buffy, ”maybe I can read the contract then!” she shouted

Both men turned to look at the small blond slayer and attempted to look sheepish.

“Either go into the training room and bash each other’s brains out or sit your buns down and wait.”

Buffy glowered at the two men, until they both sat at the table.

“It’s at times like these when I wish I could make that whip noise that Xander does,” said Anya.

So Buffy made the whip noise. Buffy chuckled to herself, but continued reading. She could tell Spike was miffed by Anya’s comment, but the faster she read, the faster Nate could go and the faster Spike would quit being so possessive.

Finally, Buffy was finished reading and was more or less pleased with all the changes that had been made. Buffy stood up walked over to the table and leaned over to sign her name to the paper. Buffy was all too aware that she was really sticking out her butt, and in Spike’s direction too.

Buffy shoved the paper towards Nate and sat down on Spike’s lap.

“There you go, all signed and everything. It was a pleasure doing business with you.” Buffy smiled.

“Right then,” said Spike, wrapping his hands around Buffy’s waist. “You’ve done your bit, now skedaddle off to your poncy council.”

Nate was furious. Despite his rage, Nate managed to push the contract into his brief case. “I will make sure that a copy will be sent to your home Miss Summers,” he said through clenched teeth.

Buffy nodded and watched, with a little sadness, her ex husband walk out of the magic shop and hopefully her life for a few more years at least.
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“So what’s he like...you know?” asked Willow, shoving a few more gummy bears into her mouth.

Buffy and Willow were pyjama clad in the living room of 1630 Revello Dr, participating in Best Friend Fest 2001.

“Are you sure you want to know?” asked Buffy.

“Of course!”

“He’s happy inducing.”

“Better than Angel?”

“Yep.”

“Better than Riley?”

“And how! I mean come on, can’t you hear us through the walls?”

Willow giggled. “Tara put up a sound dampening spell around your room, after the first night.”

“That was way smart of her. But you should have told me, I’ve been trying to be quiet.”

“Coulda fooled me. So tell me about Buffy, from the future, what’s the dirt?”

“Dirt? There’s no dirt, Willow.”

“Come on, just how many guys have you married?”

“Human wise, with the justice of the peace? Six times.”

“So tell me who else you married, besides Mr Natey Nate.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Cause you said I could ask anything?”

Buffy exhaled. “Ok, Nathaniel Bradford, you met him, William Blakely, another watcher, Frederick Corbett, He was/ is/will be an author. Then there was Percy Wyndham-Price, another watcher...”

“Whoa back up, Wyndham-Price? As in Wesley Wyndham-Price?”

“Um, Wesley’s cousin. We met at Welsey’s funeral, but didn’t start up together until Rick and I divorced. Then there was Antonio Botelli, he was a Singer, Opera, actually. And last but not least William Darcy. He was a Brownie or half Brownie.”

“Ok, leaving the Brownie thing alone... So your name is what? Buffy Anne Summers-Bradford-Blakely-Corbett-Wyndham-Price-Botelli-Darcy?”

Buffy frowned, “Well if I’d taken their names, but I didn’t can you imagine Buffy Botelli? Too many B’s.”

Willow laughed.

“So when do I die?” asked Willow getting very serious all of a sudden.

“Willow...”

“Can you at least tell me if I die old or young?”

“Wills...ok, you have a long life, you do a lot of good for the world. I was with you at the end, and ...” Buffy had started to tear up.

“Oh Buffy!” Willow dropped the bag of gummy bears and hugged her friend.

“I didn’t want you to go Wills! You were my best friend!”

“Present tense please, I am your best friend!”

“I know Wills,” Buffy sniffed.

“Were we still all friends at the end?”

Buffy pulled away from Willow and got all silent.

“Buffy?”

“We lose track of Xander...after some really bad stuff happens. “

“Oh Buffy!”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, it was just with...the bad stuff, and all, Xander wanted a normal life. He needed to get away from the demons and the magic. We let him go. It was what he wanted. He died a Grandpa, and we said our goodbyes at his funeral, but no one there knew who we were.”
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Buffy stood in front of her mirror, almost ready for bed. Spike was out playing poker again. She hoped with all her might that it wasn’t for kittens, but she wasn’t holding her breath. She looked so different from what she looked like a two weeks ago. Buffy started prodding and poking at her face, seeing where the wrinkles would form.

Without realising it, Buffy had started to examine her teeth. Tentatively, her fingers began to pull on her teeth, just to make sure that they were firmly imbedded into her cranium.

“Bloody Hell! What are you doing?” came Spike’s voice from the doorway.

Buffy jumped back from the mirror. “Nothing?”

“Looked like you were pulling your fangs down. That’s not what you were doing now was it?”

“No, just making sure they wouldn’t fall out.”

Spike snorted.

“How come you are all at home on poker night?”

“Can’t a bloke spend some time with his mate?”

“I thought you wanted to spend some time with your mates“ she said coyly.

“Who wants to spend time with Clem when I have a passionate firecracker waiting for me in my bed?”

“Our bed Spike, our bed.”
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