Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters, I own corma’nik, morginnahz, Portantus and Crantanouk. Yeah I know I’m strange, just read and you’ll find out.
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The Crantanouk Champion of Sunnydale is...

“I sorta invited my dental hygienist to the party,” said Buffy to Spike as they were putting the finishing touches on the arrangements. “She’s a Brownie.”

“Rowan Greentree?”

“How’d you know?”

“She’s my hygienist too.”

Buffy laughed. “You go to the dentist? Big Bad, Spike, Slayer of Slayers...goes to the dentist?”

“What?”

“It’s just too funny.”

“Gotta take care of my fangs luv. Fangs make the vamp I’ll have you know.”

“And here I thought it was the body count.”
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D’Hoffryn scorched the hardwood floor when he entered the shop. He took one look at that decor and smiled.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” said Buffy immediately.

“Anyanka was one of my favourites for a millennia. Though it pains me to see her marry beneath her, I am resolved to be supportive.”

Buffy nodded.

“We invited Halfrek too,” said Buffy just as a flash announced that the demon in question appeared.

Now that everyone of the guests had arrived...all they had to do was wait for the happy couple.
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“I don’t see what the problem is Ahn. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to tell everyone that you used to be a vengeance demon,” said Xander as they walked into the shop.

“Xander why are the lights off?” said Anya.

“Surprise!” screamed everyone, jumping out of the shadows.

Tara did a spell to light all the scattered candles., illuminating all the persons assembled in the shop. Buffy and Dawn had invited all the various acquaintances of Xander and Anya, from Anya’s demon friends and business contacts, to Xander’s construction worker pals.

“Holy mother of god,” whispered Xander as he took in the scene.

“I love it!” cried Anya.

“It’s an engagement party,” explained Dawn.

“I can see that you goose,” Anya reached out to hug Dawn.

“Anyanka!” cried Halfrek from the back of the room.

“Hallie!”

Needless to say that there was much greeting, all the while Xander was staring horrified at the assorted demons and humans interacting. It wasn’t until he saw the sign that Xander Harris fainted.
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When he came to, he was faced with concerned fiancée and friends who were all standing above him, in party hats.

“What the freak is going on here?” asked Xander.

“It’s your engagement party,” said Dawn...again.

“But there are demons here...” he whispered.

“Yes! Isn’t it wonderful!” beamed Anya.

“I wouldn’t call it wonderful Ahn...”

“I would. Look there’s Rowan your dental hygienist, she’s a Brownie, and over there, Bob from the doughnut shop, he’s a M’haloren.”

“You mean I’ve been buying doughnuts all these years from a demon?” asked the overwhelmed carpenter.

“Yep. Small world isn’t it?”

Willow appeared at his side with a plate of food.

“Here, eat. Food always made you feel better.” Willow thrust the plate at him.

Xander eyed the various weird and wonderful contents of the plate. “What is it?” he asked.

“Oooh, well that there,” said Anya pointing to some brown mush with green things in it, “is corma’nik, and that,” she pointed to some blue cabbagey looking stuff, “is morginnahz, and that there,” she said pointing to some yellow and red kernels that looked kinda like corn but bigger and with spikes on them,” are Portantus.”

“Is it strange that I’ve never heard of this stuff before?” asked a weary Xander.

“Oh no, you can only get this stuff in Arashamahar.”

“Then why is it here? We aren’t trying out caterers are we? Cause my parents won’t eat blue cabbage.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I worked long and hard on this,” said Willow.

“I helped,” added Dawn proudly.

“R-ight”

“Come on whelp, get your ass off the floor and get to socializing. The Slayer, the Bit and the Witches put a lot of effort into this gathering,” said Spike, hoisting Xander off the floor.

“I’d say it was more of a shindig,” said Willow. “There are going to be games later.”

Xander made a sort of helpless whimper as Anya pushed him towards some of her demon friends.
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Buffy was casually munching on some Portantus watching the championship round of Crantanouk, a demon game, which Buffy could only describe as a cross between Poker, Pictionary, and Dodgeball, except the ball was a handful of slime from a Op‘link demon. She had been knocked out of contention in the second round. She had wiped the floor with Twister though. Dawn had even mentioned that she didn’t know a human body could get into those positions. Buffy had just smiled and said she wasn’t really human. She was the Slayer.

Spike slid up to her and pulled her onto his lap.

“It’s a great party love,” he said into her hair.

Buffy planted a kiss on his cheek and continued to munch. “I don’t think it was Xander’s idea for his engagement party.”

“No, not at all,” snickered Spike.

“I just wanted him to realise what he was getting into with Anya. She has all this great demon heritage behind her. It would be shame if she was forced to not express it.”

“Perhaps it’s something that they have to discuss themselves pet.”

“I agree and I’m not trying to meddle...well maybe a little. But last time it was left up to them and it blew up at the wedding. Bad things happened.”

As expected D’Hoffryn won the game of Crantanouk and it was suddenly time for presents.

Unfortunately the presents in general made Xander greener and greener as the night progressed. Hallfrek gave the couple a blessed flagellation paddle, for the groom’s right of flagellation, D’Hoffryn gave a large quantity of burlap and three buckets of blood larva, for the bride’s maids dresses. Bob the Doughnut guy gave the couple 2 dozen doughnuts filled with corma’nik filling, which Buffy had tried, and was surprisingly yummy. Bob had even promised to supply the reception with the doughnuts. Dawn gave a Marriage for Dummies book and Spike and Buffy had gone to the sex toy shop for their gift.

Giles’ contribution was the gift everyone passed around. The normal humans, who still thought that D’Hoffryn and Clem were dressed up in costumes, thought it was a joke, but Xander knew better. Some how, Giles had found a copy of that Arashamahar best seller: “Living with a Vengeance Demon, a Survival Guide.”

Anya insisted that it would be Xander’s bed time reading until the wedding.

Xander balked at the idea that he was going to read it at all.

Willow and Tara had complied an Arashamahar cookbook. Truth was that Willow was really into demon cooking now. Buffy had been threatened with something called Kweenriel for dinner when it was Willow’s turn next to make supper.

She was willing to try anything once.
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Buffy snuggled up to her mate in bed after all the guests had gone home.

“You know Willow wanted to throw us a Claiming party...” she began.

Spike snorted.

“Ya I didn’t think you’d like that.”

“Claims are meant to be private and meaningful. Not a bloody parade for the plebes.”

“They just want to be happy for us.”

“Can they be happy for us without 76 bloody trombones?”

“What’s wrong with that? You said when I sussed out what I wanted there would be a parade with 76 trombones.”

“Was being facetious love.”

Buffy smiled.

“Well I’ve made up my mind already. Get with the trombone-ing.”

“If you say so,” he said as he rolled on top of her and turned out the light.
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Xander regained his ability to speak and process thought in time to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Scoobies.

Unfortunately for Buffy she had been persuaded to make Thanksgiving dinner again. Sure she was more confident in her cooking abilities, but it would have been nice if people had agreed to help. The only one she had managed to coerce into helping her was Spike. But he said that there was no way he was taking responsibility for the disaster that the meal would inevitably turn out to be. So she whacked him on the head.

Buffy enjoyed being let loose in the kitchen, she came up with her best ideas while she was stirring. In fact the best idea she had ever had popped into her head at that very moment.

She could find the scythe by herself, before the first started getting interested in it. She could find a spell to make there only be one slayer. She didn’t care if it was her or not. That was the whole point. The first had decided to make it’s move because there was imbalance, because there was two slayers.

Buffy let out an audible squeal of delight as she stirred the gravy. She looked over at Spike, diligently peeling potatoes. He was even gorgeous when he was going menial labour. Something for which he was never destined to do. He was Childer, not a minion. She couldn’t help but think that somehow they had completely ruined his unlife. He was The Slayer of Slayers, not a house vamp.

“What was that about?” asked Spike, referring to the squeal.

“Nothing, just ...Well it’s nothing you have to worry about.”

“R-ight,” he said, turning his attention back to the potatoes. “It doesn’t have to do with your bloody teeth does it?”

Buffy smiled. “No, but now that you mention them...”

“Spare me please.”

Buffy laughed.

“I thought you said that fangs made the vampire? Should me wanting to take care of my teeth and appreciating them garner me some esteem from the fanged crowd?”

“Is she talking about her teeth again?” asked Dawn. “I vote for having them taken out in the middle of the night, so we don’t have to hear about it any more.”

Buffy gasped. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Wouldn’t I?” said Dawn evilly, as she grabbed an apple and exited the kitchen.

Buffy was distracted from retorting by the phone ringing, and Willow coming into the room to hand her the handset.

“It’s your father,” said Willow seriously.

Buffy took the phone hesitantly.

“Daddy?” she whispered.
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