A/N: Happy Holidays to everyone, I got you a little something -



The following night Buffy patrolled one of the largest cemeteries in Sunnydale. She wasn’t exactly sure if she wanted to encounter any demons tonight. Part of her wanted to have her mind taken off all the stuff that was clogging up her brain whereas another part of her wanted to go over it all in depth and come to some conclusions about what she should do.

Her problems came down to two very different issues – number one being Spike, number two being her friends.
She had woken up that morning alone in bed. Not that she had expected different. In fact, if Spike had stayed over and gotten trapped in her house due to the extreme sunshine outside she probably would have had a mental breakdown. She envisioned a whole day of having to shove him under the bed or into her wardrobe to keep Joyce from seeing him. Although, Buffy reasoned, her mother would probably be somewhat happy to see she had a “boyfriend”. Never mind that she and Spike would never have that kind of relationship or that he was an evil vampire. In fact, if Buffy remembered correctly Spike and her mother had actually got along quite well considering the circumstances. Joyce would beam and cook him breakfast in blissful ignorance. She cringed, just thinking about it.

However, her original train of thought had been leading her to a certain comparison; when she had awoken that morning alone, it reminded her of Angel. Of being abandoned. It was stupid, really. The thing she had with Spike was nothing like her relationship to Angel. Which, in a way, was a good thing. Buffy didn’t think she could handle another relationship based on that much angst and wanting and not having. It wasn’t “healthy”, as Giles had told her once. Of course, fucking an evil vampire probably wasn’t healthy either.

Spike was weird. She’d come to that conclusion. He wanted her and he could look at and touch her scars without being disgusted. It made her wonder, briefly, if perhaps Angel would feel the same way. If maybe he could look at her, at all of her, and how she had changed, and still have that same look in his eyes that he had always had for her – that she was perfect. Then she realised that she had answered her own query. Angel had always put her up upon a pedestal, holding her to ideals that she wasn’t sure she actually fulfilled. If he were to see her now, less than flawless, less than whole, he wouldn’t be able to take it.

A part of her noted that she couldn’t be sure how he’d react at all. But the doubt was enough. She wouldn’t call him. She wouldn’t ask him to come down to Sunnydale, simply because she feared his rejection.

But, God, how this is so not about Angel…Buffy scowled to herself, weaving between tombstones absently, stake in hand. It was about Spike. About how he was totally wrong for her. About how he was the antithesis of everything she was supposed to stand for. And, it was about how he actually made her feel like Buffy Summers again. Not the Slayer, just Buffy. She’d felt different, recently. A fraction of her old self-confidence returning. She’d been quipping, for god’s sake. She hadn’t quipped in a long time. It felt nice; to banter, to spar, to have some kind of conviction in herself, again. Buffy had begun to feel like maybe it didn’t matter that Spike was Mr. Wrong. The sex was good…very good…and it wasn’t like there was anyone around to stop her from doing what – or who – she wanted.

And that’s where her friends came into it. They wanted a reunion, all is forgiven, let’s be friends again. She should have resented them for trying to just sweep the past year of abandonment and separation under the carpet, but she didn’t. Buffy missed all of her friends so much that sometimes it physically hurt. She missed sitting in the Espresso Pump with Willow, dancing with Xander in the Bronze, bowling with Oz and training with Giles. Buffy knew if they found out about Spike, about her neglecting to tell them he was back in town, they might not be so quick to want to be best friends again.

They’d take it as a personal betrayal and they’d never understand her sleeping with him. They’d probably disown her.
So, she guessed, either she had to get rid of Spike and make up with her friends or let things continue as they were. Buffy had no idea what the hell to do.

Thankfully, a couple of vampires jumped her from behind, thus cutting off her increasingly annoying introspective mood. She tumbled to the floor, but her reflexes were fast and she rolled off to the side just as one of the vampires leapt at the space on the ground where she had been.

The Slayer jumped up and slammed the heel of her hand into the nose of the nearest vampire. He stumbled backwards, screeching, as blood sluiced down his face. Buffy took a step towards him, stake raised. Unfortunately, the other vampire had recovered and barrelled into the side of her, sending them both sailing down to the ground.

Buffy’s head truck the edge of a tombstone on the way down and pain exploded from behind her eyes. She must have blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing she was aware of was the slobbering vampire on top of her, holding her hair in one hand and her stake in another. He grinned and swung the stake down towards her heart. Buffy took a second to appreciate the irony before she braced herself for the pain.

Instead, all she saw was a heavy black biker boot slam into the side of the vampire’s head causing him to topple off her and drop the stake harmlessly by her side. Buffy’s gaze swept up to the owner of the foot. It wasn’t who she had been expecting.

“Buffy,” Jeremiah smiled down at her. “You looked to be in a bit of a precarious situation there, girl. I was worried.”

She sat up, clutching the side of her head. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Just lending a helping hand.” He replied.

“Why?” Buffy asked, incredulous.

“My mama always told me if a lady is in need, a proper gentleman will always do whatever he can to help her. Speaking of…” Jeremiah offered his hand to help her up.

Buffy scowled and grabbed the tombstone, using it to pull herself up, “Jeremiah! You are a vampire. I am a Slayer. You don’t help me.”

“Oh.” Jeremiah’s eyebrows knitted. “Good point.” He walked over to one of the tombstones slightly out of the way and lifted himself up, sitting on it. “I’ll just sit here and wait ’til you’re done”

Buffy rolled her eyes and was about to say something else when an arm wrapped around her neck from behind. She cursed herself for losing concentration so easily and shot an elbow back into the gut of the vampire behind her. Then for good measure she swept her arm up and knocked her fist into his face. The hold around her neck was released and she spun around, aiming a roundhouse kick to the vampire’s head. He went down and Buffy scooped up her stake, intent on finishing him.

The second vampire jumped onto her back, nearly sending the Slayer back down to the ground. Instead she stumbled forward a few steps and growled as the vampire started pummelling her about the head. Buffy shot her head up and backwards straight into the face of the vampire. It’s hold on her loosened enough so that she could simply shake him off and to the ground.

Buffy backed away a few steps so she could keep both of the vampires in her line of sight. In the corner of her eye she saw Jeremiah watching eagerly and she wondered why it was all the wacko vampires seemed to be attracted to her.

The vampires were both on their feet again, hissing at her and looking just generally pissed off. Buffy motioned them forward and they rushed her together. How unfair. The Slayer shrugged and jumped up in the air, lashing both her feet out simultaneously and striking both demons in the face. They both yelled out and fell to the floor. Buffy smiled to herself and dusted one as he attempted to sit up. The other vampire seemed to realise his days were numbered and tried to make a break for it. Buffy ran after him and shoved him hard in the back. He careened into a mausoleum and fell back to the ground, dazed. Then it was just a simple matter of dusting him, and brushing the dirt from her clothes.

Jeremiah jumped off the tombstone jauntily and clapped. “I liked that kick. I might try it someday.”

“How ’bout right now?” Buffy challenged, motioning to herself with her stake.

“Buffy, come on. You know I have no interest in fightin’ with you,” he took steps towards her, “not unless it’s a precursor to sex.”

She made a sound, “You wish.”

“I never wish. Got into trouble with a Justice Demon once, ’cos of a foolish wish. You shoulda been there. See, I wished that human blood tasted like ice cream and, I don’t mind telling you, I got mighty fat that decade –”

“Jeremiah!” Buffy interrupted him testily. “What are you still doing in my town?”

He clasped his hands behind his back, his face the very picture of confusion. “Why, whatever do you mean?”

“I told you I’d let you go one time. You should have left town, Jeremiah. Now, I’m gonna have to dust you.” She took a step towards him, stake ready.

“Oh, like how you dusted Spike, you mean?”

The Slayer opened her mouth then closed it again, before answering “Spike has nothing to do with this.”

“Really? I’m inclined to think he has everything to do with this.” He took another step towards her, “I know for a fact that he’s done far worse than me during his existence.”

Buffy shifted from foot to foot, “Oh yeah? You a Spike groupie or something?”

“Not hardly. A vampire like him tends to make a good deal of noise in my world. Second only to Angelus in his viciousness, I heard.”

She turned and started to walk away. For some reason she really wasn’t in the mood to get a lecture from a vampire about how her current boyfriend was almost as evil as her ex-boyfriend. Not that Spike was her boyfriend. Jeremiah, however, did not get the hint and came up to the side of her to walk with her.

He shook his head slightly. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me, Buffy. I’m certainly not judging you; I don’t have the right to. It’s up to you who you sleep with. Even if I happen to think I’d make a much studlier vampire consort for you.”

Buffy snorted at that and kept walking, intent on getting home and shutting out the annoying vampire who just would not get the hint. She sighed. Her real problem was that she didn’t find Jeremiah annoying. If she was completely honest with herself, she kind of liked him. He’d done nothing untoward in front of her and he seemed like a nice guy. However, he wasn’t a guy. He was a demon. She could not start getting friendly with vampires. That was the road to career failure.

“So, how are things goin’ with you two anyway?”

Buffy turned and looked at him, disbelieving “Are you trying to ask me about my…involvement with Spike? Why are you even talking to me? Why aren’t you fleeing in terror or at least trying to kill me? I really do not understand vampires!”

“Woah, down girl.” He held his hands up. “I was just asking a simple question. You know, just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a bit of gossip. It’s so hard to engage people in conversation these days. They’re all too busy screaming and running for their lives, you know? Gets a guy down sometimes.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’d prefer your victims to just stay still listening to your scintillating conversational skills while you drain them dry,” she rolled her eyes.

Jeremiah arched an eyebrow “That’s rich coming from you, girl. You make out like I’m evil to the core well your boyfriend is no better. So, what, it’s alright for him to kill but not me?”

“Spike’s not killing anymore.” Buffy blurted out in defence.

She wasn’t exactly prepared for the vampire next to her to burst out laughing in hysterical giggles. Buffy scowled and traipsed forward, quickening her steps in an attempt to lose Jeremiah as he almost doubled over with laughing. She was just so glad that her life was one big joke to a vampire, of all non-people. She gave a moment’s pause to staking him while he was unprepared for it but decided that she’d rather provoke him into fighting her. As it was, a dark blush had begun to creep up her neck towards her face at the implications of his mirth. He clearly thought she was nuts for believing Spike and, if she were perfectly honest with herself, she thought pretty much the same thing.

“Aw, come on now,” Jeremiah jogged up behind her. “I didn’t mean to be rude or anything. You just caught me by surprise, is all. Come on, Buffy, you can’t blame me. Spike not killing is like me saying I don’t go to church.”

Buffy looked at him, frowning. “You go to church?”

“Well, ’o course I do.”

“You do realise that God’s pretty much forsaken you, right? Hence the cross and holy water damage.”

Jeremiah shrugged, slowly. “Just because He has turned His back on me, doesn’t mean I’ve turned mine on Him.”

The Slayer made a sound. “You’re wacko, you know that?”

“Hey, I’m not the one making friendly with William the Bloody.” He pointed out. “Where’s your proof he’s stopped killing?”

She paused. “Well…the number of bodies…I mean, there hasn’t been any reported…any more than before he came, I mean.”

“Pretty shoddy reasoning, Buffy. I’m sure he’s more than capable of disposing of his dinner.”

“I’m well aware of the situation, Jeremiah. I don’t need advice from a vampire!” Buffy snarled storming ahead.

“Alright, alright. You always gotta bring up the vampire thing don’t y – YAAH!” Jeremiah screamed and dropped down out of sight.

The Slayer called over her shoulder, “Might want to watch out for that open grave.”

She carried on walking at a brisk pace until she left the cemetery, running over the seeds of doubt Jeremiah had sown, her mind in turmoil about Spike and the promise he had made her.