Disclaimer: Joss liked to torture Spike, I just want to make him happy.
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Chapter 26: Scantily Clad Men...uh Demons

The day that Buffy had been planning had come at last. Demons around the world and across dimensions had been awaiting this day.

Anyanka’s bachelorette party was at hand.

The Bronze had been booked, the dancers hired, the boys had been told to bugger off.

Of course getting there was a task.

The covert operation was heavily orchestrated. It is after all hard to pull one over on someone who used to teleport for a living.

Tara placed a cloaking spell on Buffy, Willow, Tara and Dawn and snuck into Anya and Xander’s apartment waiting for the ex demon to get home from the Magic Box.

She guessed that it was them right away of course, when smoke filled the apartment and Dawn snuck forward to place a blindfold on Anya.

“Yay! Bachelorette party!” screamed Anya as they covered her eyes. “And here I thought the only thing I had to look forward to was orgasms with Xander tonight. “Wait!” she protested, “Xander! What is Xander going to do?”

“Monty Python marathon with Spike,” supplied Buffy.

“But he should come!” said Anya sadly.

“No Anya,” said Tara softly “I don’t think Xander would like what we are going to be doing tonight.”

“Oh,” said Anya, “In that case.”

“Great,” said Dawn, “let’s go.”

The teen was eager to get the night started; she was going to be at a party with naked men and booze. And she had her sister’s permission.

Once they got to the Bronze Anya was directed, still blindfolded to the middle of the room. She felt things placed in her hands, and something put on her head. The unmistaken whispers of a multitude of people in the room. The scene before her once the blindfold was removed brought a smile to the ex demon’s face.

Anya was keeping court dressed in a mini veil and holding her sceptre of power, a dildo, which Buffy had pain stakingly glued to a fairy wand she had found at a dollar store.

“Am I getting male strippers?” the ex demon asked.

Buffy gave a her friend a look. “Do you want to ruin the surprise?”

Buffy had booked the Bronze for a private party and had asked for specific bartenders to be on staff that night. Who knew that half of the bar tending staff were demons?

So, Anya was sitting smack dab in the middle of the Bronze’s dance floor, awaiting the fun. Around her were her friends and acquaintances. And the promise of male strippers. It was enough to make a former Vengeance Demon giddy.
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The problem was of course that Xander and Spike, and Giles, who were supposed to be enjoying a Monty Python marathon at Giles’ abode and thus occupied when the women were at the Bronze, were having second thoughts about their intended evening entertainment. As much as they enjoyed Python, to Spike at least it didn’t seem the least bit fair. He knew what Buffy had planned and he didn’t like it one bit that she would ogling some other man’s bits and pieces.

Giles and Xander were of the opinion that they should leave well enough alone. Spike had a hell of time trying to convince the Watcher and the carpenter that it was in their best interest to find out what was going on at the Bronze.

Security was tighter at the Bronze that Spike had ever seen it before. It was as if Buffy knew he was planning to crash.

The door man, a demon named Murray, whom Spike sometimes played poker with turned him, him, Spike, William the Bloody, The Slayer of Slayers away at the door of the Bronze.

“You aren’t on the guest list man,” said Murray. “And it’s the Slayer who’s hired us all tonight.”

“Who, is my bloody mate, mate.”

“Makes no difference, Spike,” said Murray. “She’s the freakin’ Slayer.”

At which point Xander piped up and said he’d much rather just watch the movies.

“That’s bollocks!” protested Spike. “I’m bloody going in there. They can’t keep me out.”

Xander shrugged his shoulders and Giles cleaned his glasses.

Spike motioned for Xander and Giles to follow him around to the back of the Bronze, that same alley where he had first glimpsed his slayer.

There was a door man there too.

“Bloody Hell,” Spike muttered under his breath.

He ducked behind some crates planning his next move. Fortunately for him, a van pulled up at the back entrance and out walked the entertainment for tonight's party. Five male dancers dressed in leather jackets, carrying what Spike assumed were their working clothes. Spike motioned for Giles and Xander to follow. The vampire snuck up close to the dancers noticing just a bit of an odd feeling from the gents. He didn’t really have an opinion on the fact that demon girl’s dancers were demons passing as humans.

Sneaking past the doorway and the doorman, put Spike, Giles and Xander near the women’s washrooms.
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Buffy Summers was the Slayer. Therefore when a large number of demons entered the already teeming bar Buffy’s senses were on alert. The thing that made her laugh though, was the fact that she could sense her mate with this large group of demons. She knew that the dancers were scheduled to arrive right now. Spike must have snuck in with them. And she was completely prepared to make him pay for crashing the party she had worked so hard on.

The music started and the dancers came out on stage. Buffy sat back in her chair and waited for the right moment. The ten or so dancers that walked out on the stage, clad in tear away pants and tight mesh t shirts. Buffy didn’t know how this look was attractive, but it was Anya’s party and it was Anya’s fantasy. Buffy closed her eyes and pictured her own personal sex demon. He was back stage still hiding. But not for long.

Buffy waved over the manager of the dancers.

“Ivor, are you sure that this is the whole group? Cause my slayer sense is doing the wacky, I really don’t want to have to check back stage during Anyanka’s party. It would really ruin the occasion if I had to slay any crashers,” said Buffy sweetly.

Buffy fluttered her eye lashes at the demon manager. He muttered something about stupid vampires and headed off in the direction of the back stage area. In the mean time, Buffy attention drifted back to the man who was shaking his ass in her direction. He was hot, yes, but he wasn’t Spike.
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Spike cursed his luck that not only was he now sticking to the shadows in the back of the Bronze, with Giles and Xander, but also that his mate was sending him signals that she was extremely turned on. And there was no way that he was going to let her get turned on by another man.

“Hey!” barked and man’s voice. “What are you guys doing back here.”

“Uh...” stammered Xander looking for an excuse.

“Bloodly hell,” muttered Spike.

“The Slayer knows that there are demons lurking back here. If you don’t leave, so help me...” said Ivor.

Spike rolled his eyes. He didn’t know the bloke in front of him, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him.

“Are you afraid that the Slayer won’t pay you if she has to get up off her hiney kick some demon ass? Is that it?” asked Spike.

Ivor nodded.

“Don’t worry mate,” said Spike patting the demon on the back. “You’ll get paid. I guarantee it.”

There was commotion behind Ivor as one of his assistants came running up behind him.

“The Slayer, *pant* she wants *pant*,” the assistant huffed and puffed. Finally regaining his breath the man continued. “She said that the dancers, they are all wrong. That the Bride is loving it, but she wanted something else. She wanted a blond. None of the guys have blond hair. She’s gonna slay us all.”

The assistant fretted for a moment ringing his hands.

“That’s just fabulous,” said Ivor.

Spike let a smirk cross his face. He knew just what was on Buffy’s mind.
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“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Xander were here?” asked Anya as she slurped down another margarita.

Buffy smiled at her friend. Buffy really didn’t think that it would be all that wonderful if Xander were here. Especially if he knew that the men Anya was currently ogling were demons. Xander was funny that way.

But the Slayer’s full attention was the stage, where she hoped any minute now, Ivor would grant her request. The lights dimmed and the dancers hastily gathered up the discarded clothing from the previous dance. Anya was nodding emphatically to a couple of her friends about the fabulousness of the evening and Dawn was gulping down a glass of water after having drunk something she really shouldn’t have. Willow and Tara were off in a corner of the club chatting with each other, neither one interested in the entertainment that evening.

The music started again. Anya clapped.

“Ooooh,” gushed Anya turning to look at her Maid of Honour. “This is so much fun!”

The beat of the music pulsed against Buffy’s brain, and unconsciously the slayer began to tap out the rhythm of the song with her foot. A smile lit up her face when she saw movement and the dancers came out on stage wearing jeans, a construction hat and tool belt.

Buffy heard Anya clap again. Buffy sighed, well it was her party after all. And Anya deserved to be happy. Buffy turned in her seat at the bar and attempted to get the bar tender’s attention, to order another drink. Her brain immediately drifted to memories of watching Cocktail with Dawn last week and how they would have loved to be quoted verse by their respective lovers, not that Dawn had one.

Buffy had even divulged the fact that Spike was poetry capable, but didn’t as a rule, it conflicted with the Big Bad persona.

The bar tender tonight had not given Buffy much to think about, he was ok looking, but now that the Slayer observed just how fine his butt was...naughty thoughts were springing into Buffy’s head. Buffy leaned on the bar, her head in her hand, letting her imagination run away with her. The fact that the bar tender had magically transformed himself into Spike in her thoughts was just a happy effect of being that particular vampire’s mate.

“Buffy! are you watching this?” asked Anya.

Buffy snapped out of her daze and reverted her eyes to the stage, and the ten men who were causing all the women in the room to blush. Buffy reassured the bride that she was watching, but as she turned back to the bar tender’s fine bottom, she was distracted by the flash of platinum blond hair and a leather coat that she caught out of the corner of her eye.

Buffy smiled. There he was. Turning to the bar tender she finally ordered her drink.
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Spike whipped through the bar, a brief glimpse of his mate at the bar. The naughty thoughts that were being sent through the claim only meant one thing, that bar tender was going to get a piece of the Big Bad’s mind later on.

Ivor had led him to an office, to suit him up with appropriate attire for this favour he was doing the manager. Spike rolled his eyes as Ivor described the best way to remove clothing.

“Look mate, I’ve been wearing clothes and taking them off a lot longer than you’ve been alive, I think I can handle it.”

Ivor gave him a look. “Well when there are fifty screaming women reaching out to grab your goodies, don’t complain to me.”

“Fifty at once huh?” speculated Spike.

“Don’t even think about it Spike,” said Xander who appeared beside him. “Buffy would hang you by your toenails.”

Spike nodded. “But the idea isn’t unpleasant.”

Both Xander and Giles nodded.

Ivor thrust the clothes at Spike. “Get moving. Slayer only booked us for two hours, you have fifteen minutes to get on that stage.”
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“Dawn!” whispered a frantic Giles.

Dawn did a double take, Giles was in the Bronze. “Oh My God, Giles what the hell are you doing here? You know if you get caught, Buffy’s gonna be mad, and Anya will probably make you get up and dance.”

“I am frightfully aware of that. This has all been a horrible mistake. Please, I beg you, get me out of here.”

Dawn put her hands on her hips, in a very Buffy-eque manner. “And just how did you get in here to begin with?”

“Damn smug Vampires and their whims.”

Dawn nodded. “Spike, of course. Well I think the best way for you to sneak out of here would be to sneak out of here Giles.”

“Truly marvellous help you have turned out to be Dawn,” said the Watcher annoyed.

“Yeah, well I try,” said Dawn smartly, flouncing away.
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Xander had lost Giles. Suddenly feeling very self conscious and extremely paranoid that his intended bride was going to find him crashing her party, Xander made his way cautiously towards the back of the club, looking out for either Giles, who it seemed had disappeared, or Spike, who at this very moment was preparing to flaunt himself in front of the female population of the Bronze.

He had had a few close calls, but so far, Xander remained undetected.

“Come to see me off then?” asked Spike suddenly coming out of the bathroom.

“Not really, hiding in fear, really,” answered Xander.

Spike nodded. “Makes sense, not man enough to handle your own fiancée, never mind a room full of sexually charged women. Surprised your still standing upright and all.”

Xander glared at the vampire that he sometimes considered to have a passing acquaintance with. “I’m looking for Giles...”

Spike shook his head sadly. “The Watcher’s gotten himself into some trouble.” Spike pointed out into the main room.

Giles was currently surrounded by at least ten women, pulling at his clothes. He had been caught. They would be bringing him to Anya for judgement any second now. Xander cringed. Poor Giles.
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Buffy smiled as Giles was brought before Anya. A sickly sweet smile passed over the ex demon’s face. Another song started over the loud speakers. All eyes drifted over to the stage, but as no one came out from the back stage area, the assembled women began to voice their dissatisfaction.

Before their vengeful gazes could be turned in Giles’ direction though, Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Spike, clad in his regular attire, standing behind her.

Buffy opened her mouth to protest his intrusion and to make a comment about how he could have at least tried not to get caught, when Spike placed his index finger on her lips effectively shutting her up.

Spike’s hips began to move to the music, making Buffy sway long side him. Buffy licked her lips as she watched her lover, her mate, her vampire, seductively remove his clothing until he was clad only in his jeans. There were appreciative murmurs coming from the crowd, causing Buffy to glare back at them all.

At the end of the song, Spike picked up his coat, and tee, and headed off to the back stage area, like most of the other dancers.

“Oh no you don’t,” said Buffy holding him back. “You don’t tease the Slayer, Vampire,” she said with a smirk. “Closet, now.”
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Xander watched Buffy and Spike slink off into the shadows, knowing full well what exactly they were going to be doing. He looked hopefully at Anya, who was smiling from the show and talking with one of her demon friends. He moved closer to the pair, hoping to surprise Anya, so that they could go and have their own closet adventure.

“And to think that at one point in my life I gave that up?” said Hallie wistfully. “I don’t see how you can honestly think that your human male can compare to the lusciousness of the men we’ve seen here today, Anyanka.”

“Pfft, Hallie, Xander is fine, and he’s mine. Sure demons have more stamina, more endurance, more flexibility, but, then again, I’m not a demon anymore. Xander is perfect for me, he’s loving and he cares about me. I love him Hallie, and he loves me.”

Xander shrank back into the shadows. The carpenter was feeling just a little inadequate after that speech exalting the virtues of the demon man.
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tbc...