REPLAY



Chapter 6- Heaven

Buffy awoke, knowing what she had to do. She may have decided not to tell Xander and Willow about traveling into the past, but there was something she had to confess. The sooner the better. Keeping it inside would only make it harder.

She made lunch for Dawn and caught up with her sister on her way out.

“Dawn!”

Buffy ran out, carrying the paper-sack. Inside was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a granola bar, banana, and fruit drink. It wasn’t the most glamorous meal but it was better than the vending machine food she was sure Dawn would eat otherwise.

Dawn spun around. “What?”

Handing the bag over, Buffy said, “Lunch.”

Dawn grinned. “Thanks.”

Buffy smiled back, but it faded after a moment.

“I’m telling them today.”

Dawn sobered. “Are you sure they’re ready? Are ‘you’ ready?”

“I have to.”

They hugged.

“I wish I could be there for you. If you want I could stay,” Dawn said.

“Nice try,” Buffy said. “But no.”

“I’m not trying to ditch,” Dawn defended. “I’m seriously just trying to offer my support. This is more important than school.”

“I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine. Now hurry up before you’re late.”

After Dawn left, Buffy stood there for awhile. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. The sun shone down on her and warmed her face.

I can do this, she thought.

She made her feet travel across town to The Magic Box. She mustered her courage and reached for the door handle. Something occurred to her and she pulled back.

Spike. He should be here. He was part of the gang whether the others liked it or not. She knew exactly where to find him.

Buffy rounded the building. She stepped into the alley near the back of the shop. She spotted Spike. They both stopped immediately at the other’s presence.

He shoved his hands into his duster. “Slayer.”

Buffy glanced up at the sky. Clouds had passed over, concealing the sun. He was safe for now.

“Were you headed inside?” she asked.

“That was the plan, yeah.”

“Good. I have something to say to everyone.”

He seemed surprised by that. It was probably the fact that she actually wanted him included in the Scooby meeting.

“Right, lead the way,” he said.

They headed in through the training room. Heads turned their way when they passed into the main part of the store. Tara sat in a chair, with Willow standing next to her. The couple was putting books on a shelf. Xander and Anya stood by the research table.

Willow gave Buffy a smile. “Buffy, hey,” she greeted.

Xander noticed Spike. He frowned, but other than that chose to ignore him.

“Hey, you get Dawn off to school all right? 'Cause I was thinking, if you need help picking her up, I...”

“It's okay. I got it.” Buffy fumbled with her hands. “Look, you guys, um, there's this thing I gotta say . . . so, uh, here goes.”

Buffy snuck a peek at Spike. He leaned against a shelf, eyeing her with concern. She wished that she could take his hand. It wasn’t the fact that her friends were watching that restrained her from doing so, but the fear that it was too soon. She didn’t want to screw things up with him again. Still, him being there gave her a little confidence.

Everyone stared at Buffy expectantly. Her eyes darted around.

“You brought me back.” She swallowed. This is it. “I was . . . I wasn’t . . . God this is hard.”

Willow took a step toward her. “Buffy?”

“I was in heaven.”

Buffy met Willow’s eyes. She saw horror there. For a second, just a second, Buffy felt guilty.

Tara stood up. She looked as if she were trying to decide what to do. She ended up rubbing Willow’s arm.

“Oh God,” Willow said.

“Buffy, we didn’t know,” Xander proclaimed.

Spike remained silent. His expression spoke a thousand words, though. It was dark and menacing.

“What was it like?” Anya abruptly asked.

Xander turned toward his fiancé. “Ahn, not now,” he scolded.

She shut up.

Willow was about ready to fall. Tara wrapped a strong arm around her.

“I’m so sorry!” Willow cried. “If I’d known.”

Buffy should have been angry. Two years ago she probably would have shouted at the red-head about the laws of nature. Instead she felt calm and level-headed.

“I know,” she said. She scanned the group. “No one knew. There isn’t much I can say. I was happy. Warm. Loved.”

Tears silently fell down Willow’s cheeks. She leaned heavily against her girlfriend.

“You took me away from that. I’m not blaming you, but I can’t say I’m happy about it.” Buffy paused. “What’s done is done. There is no taking it back. I’m here and I’m just going to have to deal with that.”

No one spoke. No one knew how to proceed.

Buffy gave them all a meaningful look before exiting the shop. She walked over to the memorable packing crate outside. She sat down and took a breather.

It was done. The notion didn’t bring any comfort.

She heard footsteps and raised her head. Spike stepped in front of her.

“Ran out of there mighty quick,” he said.

“Needed to get away. To be alone,” she said.

“Oh, uh, right.”

He started to leave. He stopped at the edge of the shade, realizing the sun had come out.

“I can be alone with you here.”

He turned back around. “Thanks ever so.”

He took a moment to study her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I will be.”

“If you ever need anything . . . If there is anything I can do . . .”

She gave him a tiny smile. “You can’t. But thanks for offering. It means a lot. More than you know.”

Spike stared at her. She shifted in her seat, uncomfortable by the attention.

He came over and sat beside her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

She didn’t. She didn’t want to remember the peace she had left behind. Someday she’d go back there. But not yet. Right now she had to concentrate on living.

Buffy moved to grab his hand. It hadn’t felt right inside, but here and now it did. He tilted his head to the side, questionably. Then he squeezed her fingers in unison.

They gazed out into the sun together.


I just love that ending part. Hope you do too.