REPLAY



Author: Heather Martin (SinisterChic)

Rating: PG13

Spoilers: Season 6, Season 7, Angel season 5

Summary: S/B, Learning of Spike’s resurrection Dawn and she venture to LA in search of him. But they are too late. . . Or are they? Is there a way to fix things before they began to get dark?

Archive: Just let me know where





You guys trust me, right? Please do when reading this chapter.



Chapter 24- Muddled Mess of Things



Chaos exploded throughout the dining room. Questions were asked all at once. Dawn sent her sister a ‘Are you insane?’ look. Giles muttered a few obscenities under his breath. Buffy watched, a little uncertain how to go on after her confession. Should she tell everybody about the future she had left?



“How could you not tell us?” Willow inquired a little hurt.



“How’d you do it?” Anya asked.



“Oh God in the heavens, this is so not good,” Xander remarked.



“There are always consequences,” Spike said. “How many times do I have to remind you lot of that?”



“What could have gone so wrong that you had to turn back the clock?” Willow questioned.



Buffy’s head hurt. There was too much commotion. She tried to tune them out.



“We didn’t even mean to do it. It was an accident,” Dawn defended in regard to Spike’s statement.



“I still don’t understand why you didn’t come to us. We could have helped,” Willow said.



“Do I ever get my own shop?” Anya asked. She huffed when she was ignored.



The tuning out wasn’t working so well. Buffy’s discomfort became physically noticeable.



“Silence!” Giles yelled.



The voices stopped. Buffy silently thanked Giles for the intervention.



“Very good. Now, we can go about this in a calm and civilized manner.” All eyes went to the middle-aged man. “First off, Buffy did not keep this knowledge from everyone. She did come to me for guidance. She didn’t want to tell you all in fear that the future events may upset you.”



“But shouldn’t she have told us?” Willow spoke up. “We should have had a choice on whether we wanted to change them or not.”



Buffy gripped the back of the chair in front of her. “Believe me, Will, you want to change them.”



“But shouldn’t that be my decision? You have no right to change my life without my consent.”



Fire burned inside Buffy’s chest. Her eyes hardened. “And you had no right to bring me back from the dead without my consent!”



Willow deflated. Discomfort spread through the entire room.



“Sorry,” Buffy said with a sigh. “Look, I was only trying to do what was right. I want the best for all of us. Just like what you thought was the best when you brought me back. Things went really bad this year. I’ve already made things better.”



Xander raised his hand. “I’m kinda with Willow. I want to know how my life has been altered.”



“I- I guess you should have the freedom to know.” She paused. “You and Anya broke up,” Buffy said.



Xander sat up straighter. “What? Huh?”



“You didn’t marry her before,” Dawn added.



That unnerved Anya. She cast Xander a look. “You are going to marry me, right Xander? Because you promised me that we were only postponing the wedding for later.”



“I’m going to marry you, Ahn.” He placed his hand on hers.



“Good.” Anya faced Buffy. “I fully back you up on the time travel if you helped me keep Xander. Thank you.”



Buffy addressed Willow. “You let the magic take you over with Rack.”



“Oh,” Willow said.



Spike leaned back in his chair. He propped his boots up on the table. Buffy would have chastised him about manners but she was too preoccupied with more important things.



“What about me, pet? You muddle with my unlife as well?”



Buffy hugged her arms. She couldn’t tell by his voice how he felt. Usually she could.



“Spike? Uh . . .”



He looked directly at her. She could see in his eyes that he wasn’t completely happy. “I’ve been violated enough don’t you think?” He gestured to his head, indicating the chip.



“Spike, things between us were wrong the first time. I made them better.”



In a fluid motion Spike was on his feet. He pointed to Willow. “You know I hate to agree with any of you scoobies but Red is right. You shouldn’t have played with us. You should have let us in, instead of moving us around like bloody chess pieces.”



Buffy gaped. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Everyone was against her. All she wanted to do was make things right.



Dawn stepped up to her side. She put an arm around Buffy.



“Buffy isn’t alone in this. I’m just as much to blame in this. Send your hate my way too,” Dawn said.



“No-No one hates anyone, Dawn,” Tara said, ever the peacemaker.



“No, no one hates anyone. But they damn well aren’t tip toes in the tulips about the circumstances either,” Spike growled. He stomped off toward the door.



Buffy spun to chase after him.



“Spike, wait!”



Spike grabbed his duster that he had discarded near the entrance. He put it on fiercely without looking at her.



“I need time to think,” Spike said before dashing out.



Buffy stood there frozen. All this work and she had to wonder if anyone was any happier than before. At least she knew she wasn’t.



+ + +



Spike went back to his crypt. He rummaged through his liquor stash and accumulated everything he had. The rest of the evening was spent getting smashed and wallowing in his melancholy.



He loved Buffy. He’d do just about anything for her. He generally believed she returned his affection. But a relationship was a fifty-fifty deal. He wasn’t going to allow her to call all the shots. She should have told him what was going on.



He tipped the last bottle back. Nothing came out. Bugger, now he had nothing to numb the pain.



There was a loud bang as his door flew open. He whipped his head to the side. He saw the slayer stalk in. She looked determined.



“Back to breaking and entering, huh, slayer?”



She came to a halt. “Spike, we need to talk.”



He hurled the empty bottle across the room. Then he stood up. His button-down shirt was open, exposing his well-muscled chest proudly. His hair was also slightly mussed. He must have appeared quite irresistible to Buffy, but she didn’t make it outwardly known.



Buffy crossed her arms. “Are you sober enough to hear me out?”



Those words made Spike laugh manically. “Unfortunately so.”



She nodded. “I’ve been thinking.” She met his eyes. “Spike . . . William. . .”



His real name caught his attention. He waited with apprehension for her to go on.



“I have feelings for you, but . . .” She swallowed. She looked down. “This doesn’t seem to be working out. I thought we could be happy together but I guess I was wrong. All we ever give each other is pain.”



He stared at her in shock. “You can’t be serious.”



“I am.”



Spike felt his world teeter.



“I tried,” Buffy said. “You’re pulling me down and I can’t let that happen. I have to be strong about this.”



All rational slipped away to be replaced by instinct. When someone is faced with a life and death situation their primal being comes to the surface. To Spike, Buffy was his life and it was very much in jeopardy. He had to fight to keep it. His demon battled within him and he gladly succumbed to it.



Spike came at Buffy. He gripped her shoulders harshly.



“I won’t allow you to do this,” he said.



She wriggled in his grasp. “Spike, stop it! You’re holding me too tight!”



“I know you were happy. I could feel it.”



Buffy was really scared now. She yanked out of his fingers. He wasn’t going to let her get away that easy. He pushed her down, pinning her to the floor while on top of her. She thrashed around.



“You could feel it while I was in you. I’ll make you feel it again.”



“Spike, stop! Argh, you’re hurting me!”



Spike tugged at her blouse. He ripped it to squeeze her bra covered breast. Buffy got the advantage and kneed him, sending him flying. He landed violently on the stone floor. Buffy picked herself up. She held her blouse closed.



“Ask me again why I could never be happy with you!” Buffy shouted accusingly.



“I didn’t mean . . . I wouldn’t have . . .” Spike began.



“Yes, you would have if I hadn’t stopped you.”



His whole meaning for being was being tossed away. He huddled into a ball and rocked back and forth.



Oh God, Oh God, what had he done?



He’d hurt the girl. He’d hurt the woman he loved.



He was a monster. Never a man, never.



He’d never be what she deserved.



A gentle hand came down on his shoulder. His head shot up.



“Spike?”



Her voice was too soft. How could it be so caring after what he had just done?



“Don’t touch me!” he spat.



Buffy jumped back from her crouch in front of him.



He clutched his head. “I hurt you. You shouldn’t ever have to touch a demon like me again.”



Buffy furrowed her brow. “Spike, are you all right?”



He snorted.



“I came here to talk.”



“Thought we did that already.”



She came closer. She reached out a hand as if to touch him but then decided against it. “Spike, I just got here a minute ago.”



His eyes went wide.



_____________________________________________



Hehe. Did I have you going? I hope so. I like playing, it is so fun.