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Chapter 12
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Of all the humans Spike was coming to care about--even like, in many cases--the gypsy teacher made him feel most at ease. The Romany people were comfortable with the supernatural world and had always understood shades of gray. They hadn’t cursed Angelus because he was a vampire but because of what he, Angelus, had chosen to do beyond merely killing and eating their girl.

If killing and eating were all it would have taken, then all of the Fab Four would have had souls shoved in them! Darla, Dru and Spike had, after all, dined a la gypsy just after Angel became all soul-ridden. No one sought to punish them for behaving like vampires!

No, Angelus and his "artistry", his depravity, his "taking the time for a proper kill" rubbish had led to the retaliation. The girl was lucky she refused to drink from Angelus or there would have been two daft vampiresses wandering about in need of a keeper.

Jenny Calendar was well schooled in the old ways, for all her technological prowess. She knew well what Spike was and had a pretty good idea of the things he’d done. She also knew plenty about Angelus and was leery of Spike because he had learned all he knew of being a vampire at the feet of that blackguard. Quite literally at times.

Jenny ran a series of tests that checked that the chip actually was discharging electricity to Spike’s neural receptors. The chip worked fine, as did the Gem. If he so chose, Spike could have decided to run merrily through the streets of Sunnydale making a buffet of the citizenry without his brain oozing out his ears in payment. The thing that fascinated Jenny was that Spike had no desire to so much as take a sip from even the most annoying of the students he was surrounded by. And there were times she would have been tempted in his place.

Lies and half-truths were more Angelus’ forte and Spike was feeling more and more uncomfortable with the web he had spun. As much as he realized that his survival and, more importantly, his only chance with Buffy, depended on buying time to prove himself, it still felt wrong to him.

The teacher was slated to a short shelf life in the original timeline and Spike had already decided he would do all he could to prevent that happening, and not only because it was triggered by Buffy sleeping with Angel either. Jenny was more inclined to actually listen to his tale without prejudging. As decent as the Watcher was being this time around, there were still all those prejudices hammered into the bloke by his Watcher’s school. Spike couldn’t overcome them quickly enough.

So the vampire enjoyed having an open-minded audience and made the most of it, sharing stories of the original timeline with his new friend.

"Willow?" Jenny shook her head in amazement. "Shy, little, overachieving Willow?" Spike nodded. "How did she first embrace the Old Religion? Isn’t she Jewish?"

"Don’t know about embracin’ the religion; more like embracin’ the power and the witch has it in spades, even if she hasn’t done more than touch on it. She scares me and I’ve been around a long time. That little "my will be done" spell of hers was so good it netted her an invite to the world of vengeance demons."

Spike sketched out the events that had happened in his own timeline up to meeting with the little fairy demon.

Spike smiled as Jenny doubled over in laughter reading the business card. "Fuamnach! She’s a legend, a fairy queen who turned her cheating husband into an insect of some kind. I’ve heard the tales. So she’s a vengeance demon now." Spike pointed to the card and the demon’s title. "Oh, excuse me! Justice demon. I have to say this is truly unique. I thought I was a maverick being a technopagan, but even the old beings are using business cards now. I wonder if she has a website?"

Even without a truth spell, Jenny knew the vampire was being honest with her as far as possible with the information he had. The story was fantastic to be sure, but that made it more likely to be true rather than less. Jenny had no trouble believing that Spike had his heart stolen by the Buffy of his own time and that his feelings had only deepened with the time spent in her company here.

Love was probably the most powerful motivator in all of human behavior. Wars were started and ended for love. Most history had a love story somewhere in the mix. Love made the powerful weak and the weak as courageous as a lion. Every human was on a quest for love from the moment they come out of the womb and they continued to seek it up to the moment of death. If anything could cause a soulless demon to turn from his own nature and embrace the light, it would be love.

Jenny wasn’t proficient with aura reading, but she was able to sense enough to know that the vampire sitting in front of her read more like a human than a demon. Yes, there was violence and bloodlust, but that could be found in many a human as well. Spike seemed fully capable of having real feeling for the young Slayer.

"Why confide in me, Spike?" Jenny knew the vampire was wanting something from her, something he might not even be sure of himself.

"Don’t rightly know, Dark Eyes. Not used to all this subterfuge. Always been one to just put it out there, ya know. I am what I am. I’m not really patient enough for games. Used to be somethin’ Angelus tried to beat into me. Never took though." Spike looked at Jenny, sighed deeply and closed his eyes. The silence stretched as Spike appeared to be trying to think it through.

"’M not sure what I’m doin’; that’s it in a nutshell. No moral compass, but want to do right by Buffy. Want to make the right choices, keep the Scoobies--all of you-- safe ‘cause Buffy loves you all. Don’t wanna bugger this up!" He looked at Jenny with his whole heart in his eyes. "My one chance for happiness. Always lookin’ for love and now that I can just touch it, I’m scared to death it’ll turn to dust. Not too worried about ME dustin’, just my dreams. Couldn’t survive that."

"And you think that I can…what? Be your Jiminy Cricket?" Jenny gave him a half smile. She was flattered that he seemed to feel she was the right choice for such a responsibility.

"That’s just it; didn’t think. I tend to follow my feelin’s instead of some great plan. My plans seem to blow up rather spectacularly." Spike gave a bitter laugh. "Always that way. Dyin’ didn’t change that one bit. This is too important for me to try to work my way through on my own."

Jenny was surprised at the almost motherly feelings she was having for this little lost vamp. For some reason she really, really wanted him to make good on his desires. She wanted him to succeed and with that thought, she determined to help him.

Spike started talking again before Jenny could let him know her decision. "Told Angelus nothin’ except about Dru. Okay, told him I’m not bitey boy anymore, but doubt the bugger believes me. Told the Watcher pieces of the truth but know he’d never believe I could love Buffy or want to do right by her. ‘Gainst all he’s been taught, ya know?"

"Rupert can be rather old-fashioned, but don’t write him off completely. There’s a rebellious streak in him too and you might be surprised what he can accept when he looks at what’s in front of him." Jenny laid her hand on Spike’s in comfort.

"Hope so. By the time Red did her little spell, the git was pretty entrenched," Spike said. "Maybe it was losin’ you like that. He trusted Angel and then had to deal with Angelus. Be enough to put anyone off vampires, even without all that time with the Council of Wankers."

Jenny shuddered at the memory of what Spike had told her about the next year’s activities. It was essential that Buffy be kept from Angel and if that meant encouraging the girl into giving her heart to the soulless vampire sitting in her office, then that was what she would do. At least this vamp was well able to love her.

"Tell you what, Spike, give me a day to think about all you’ve told me and we’ll talk again. For some reason, I really want to help you. It’s not everyday a person gets the chance to help lead someone onto a path of redemption. I’m honored you chose me." Jenny’s smile was genuine and the warmest thing Spike had experienced in a century.

"So, where is Rupert?" Spike hadn’t seen any of the group in the library earlier and that wasn’t normal.

"Mr. Giles is the new producer of the school talent show," Jenny answered.

The two new friends smiled at each other before falling into gales of laughter.

~~~

"It’s not funny, Spike!" Buffy was beside herself. "The only thing I can do well is kill demons and do the slutty dance. I don’t think Snyder would really approve of either for his little show." She was miserable at the idea that she, Xander and Willow had been ordered to take part in the exercise in pain called a school show.

"And you should have heard Cordelia. I’ve heard more melody from mating cats!" Spike snorted at Buffy’s description. "She’s actually going to sing ‘The Greatest Love’; at least she knows the subject matter well enough…no stretch there. She’s got that CordyLove down pat."

"So what act are you plannin’?" Spike vowed to not miss the performance, not only to be a supportive boyfriend but to store away future blackmail material in case he needed it in the future.

"Willow thinks we should do some kind of dramatic scene. That’s me: Buffy Summers, Drama Queen." Buffy grimaced at the thought. "She’s all excited about doing this old Roman play about Eddy Plex and this whole mom deal."

Spike looked completely confused as he tried to figure out what on earth Willow had planned when he suddenly put it through his Buffy universal translator and laughed delightedly. "Not Eddy Plex, love, Oedipus. The play’s a Greek legend. Greek play too, not Roman. It’s about fate and tragedy and how you can’t escape your fate no matter how you try. There was this prophecy, see. Bloke was gonna kill his da and marry his mum. Even though everyone did all they could think of, even leavin’ the babe on a hill to die…it all happened just like the oracle said it would."

"Ewwww, gross! He married his mom!" Buffy was making horrified faces.

"Didn’t know she was his mum. Complete stranger when they met. That was the tragedy, everybody did what they thought was best and it still all went pear-shaped. Fate’s a fearful mistress." Spike looked serious.

"Do you believe in fate, Spike?" Buffy asked.

"Can’t say as I do, pet. I make my own fate. I’m nobody’s puppet, least of all some ancient gods." Spike turned with Buffy into the espresso bar for a latte.

"I don’t think I believe in it either, at least not the whole doomed love part. I think I want to still believe in happily ever afters." Buffy looked at Spike with her heart exposed to his gaze. Clearly she was willing to think of Spike as her costar in that future and Spike was ready to sign right up for the part.

"One of the kids in the show has a puppet. Freaked Xander out. One of those wooden talking dummies--the puppet, not Xander!" Buffy babbled in her embarrassment. She knew Spike had seen some of her budding feelings and it made her feel shy and vulnerable. She didn’t really feel that Spike would deliberately hurt her, but this was the first time she wanted to put her heart on the line and it was scary.

Spike’s heart soared. He saw the look. He saw her soul. He knew he had a chance. If he didn’t ruin this, he stood a good chance of having everything William and Spike had ever dreamed of all wrapped up in a pretty Buffy package.

~~~

Jenny thought about her conversation with the unusual vampire earlier that day. She hadn’t been raised in the caravans and schooled by the campfires like her ancestors, but she still had a gypsy upbringing. She knew all about Werewolves, Demons and Vampires. She knew the thin veil that separated the living from the dead and that communication still could occur.

She had also heard a story or two of things that Rupert Giles, with all his formal education through the Council of Watchers, would never credit. Being of a romantic nature in her heart of hearts, those old stories had burned themselves in Jenny’s memory like well-cherished books.

At least two stories she remembered involved a vampire loving a human and making an effort to overcome his demon nature. One had even had a happy ending, or as close as such a tale could hope to have: the human’s death had led to the first sunrise walk in years for the vampire lover. As a girl, Jenny had hoped the lovers were reunited in the afterlife, never to part again.

Jenny was convinced that Spike was capable of this sort of life-changing love. He would need help figuring out right from wrong when faced with the murky waters of gray, however. Souled humans had that problem too and often sought advice from their fellows.

Spike was tempted to lay everything out to all the humans around him, just as he had to Jenny. He greatly feared Buffy drawing away from him and her Watcher feeding her fears until Spike had no chance to regain the lost ground.

The Gem made Spike invulnerable to most methods of destruction, but no one knew if there was a loophole. Rupert Giles was a skilled researcher and would have no compunction about seeking and using any method to rid himself and Buffy of Spike if he thought it necessary. The man had a ruthless streak at his core.

In short, complete honesty was a dangerous prospect. Jenny understood Spike’s dilemma. He was by nature honest and unconcerned with the reactions of others to his truths. Deciding what to tell, and when, was not clear to him. Jenny would try to help as best as she could. She would also try to get through to Rupert that not everything he had been taught was gospel.

When it came to the problem with Spike’s grandsire, however, Jenny was determined. She was there because of Angel, after all. To make certain her clan’s curse stood and he suffered.

What Spike told her validated her privately held opinion that the wording of the curse was not safe or even in the best interests of the clan.

Her grandmother had explained that the idea was for Angelus to never feel anything but tremendous guilt and unhappiness. If he had one moment when that were untrue, if he were accepted, loved or appreciated enough to forget how vile he was, the soul would be forfeit. The thinking at the time was that whoever had caused that happiness in him would be so horrified by Angelus without his soul that they would have no
choice but to stake him.

Spike had indicated that the forgiving and trusting nature of Buffy was the one factor no ancient spellcaster could have anticipated. Future Buffy would wait too long and, along with creating memories none of the group would ever recover from, Jenny’s own life would be ended. Buffy would never be free of the guilt and fear spawned from the evil that was Angelus.

With so much at stake, Jenny decided that her first order of business was to tell Giles who she really was and what reason had led her to Sunnydale. Angel must be kept far from Buffy to prevent tragedy from happening all over again. The other thing Rupert might be able to help her with was finding a way to anchor that so necessary soul permanently, keeping the demon out of the driver’s seat where Angel was concerned.

Who knew, maybe some good could come from having the souled vampire stable enough to fight on the side of light. First Jenny would seek Spike’s permission to reveal a bit of the tale he had told her.

~~~

Spike offered to treat the entire group to pizza after the school show fiasco was finished. Soon they were gathered round the table laughing and talking as if they had all been together forever.

Xander had begun to accept that Spike was going to be around, so he set aside his jealousy long enough to try a tentative overture of friendship.

Giles and Jenny looked to be a solid couple as well. The Watcher was more relaxed than Spike could ever remember seeing in this or any other time.

Spike was glad he had given permission for Jenny to tell the Watcher some of their conversation. Secrets between couples could backfire. Spike wondered again at his choice to wait to reveal all to Buffy. He could but hope it was the right choice.

The friends were talking over one another, excited as a basket full of puppies. Spike listened, bemused at the group’s attempt to explain the odd performance Spike had been witness to. The entire audience had been left speechless by the tangled jumble of demon slaying, Giles saving, bad acting of timeless plays, and stage fright.

"So the wooden puppet WASN’T the demon?" Jenny was as confused as Spike. "I’d like to just say how glad I am that Marc didn’t succeed in removing your brain, Rupert. Lots of women want mindless boyfriends, but I’m not one of them," she teased.

"Boyfriend!" Xander jumped on that comment with speed he usually reserved for grabbing the last jelly donut.

"Saw that one coming," whispered Willow to a laughing Buffy. "Okay, why is it that I’m suddenly the one attracting the weird. Last week I was catnip to an ancient demon and this week Howdy Doody makes a pass at me. Is it the way I dress?


Giles was smiling and laughing along with the children. "And then Principal Snyder asked, ‘is that avant-garde?’ like the total nincompoop he is."

"I don’t know, some performance art is even more odd than what you lot pulled off," Spike offered. "I do think that you managed to cover Willow’s escape nicely though."

"If Xander hadn’t made a mess of his lines, I wouldn’t have been panicky girl," Willow defended. "You don’t understand how many nightmares I’ve had over the years of being in that position, only with less clothes."

"It’s okay, Will, we covered." Buffy knew that not a soul in the audience had any clue of what they should have been seeing and most likely thought they were witnessing experimental theater just as Principal Snyder had.

"Can I just say how glad I am the creepy wooden guy is gone now?" Xander said. "I don’t know what’s worse: dummies or clowns." The boy shuddered in horror.

"Frogs. Frogs are worse," Willow announced. "Frogs or being naked on stage."

Spike had to laugh at the sorts of things this little group found frightening, especially growing up on the Hellmouth.

"Waking up the last human left on earth," Buffy said solemnly. "That’s the worst."

"Failing to keep loved ones safe." Both Giles and Jenny said the same thing at the same time. The strangeness of hearing the foreboding duet sent a chill down Spike’s spine. He’d lived the years that happened when those fears came true.

"What about you, Spike?" Buffy asked. She had seen his stricken look at the comment from the Watcher and his new girlfriend. "What’s your greatest fear?"

"Never used to be afraid of anything really. Nothing much mattered enough to cause that kind of fear." Spike thought about his long unlife and changed his mind. He’d had fears. Still had them, in fact. "That’s not true ‘f I think about it. I guess it’d be the same one the Watcher and his gypsy said. Watchin’ someone I love hurtin’ or worse, ‘specially if I were the cause. Couldn’t take hurtin’ someone I love, do just about anything to stop myself from bein’ able to do that!"

Giles looked with interest at the vampire. Spike certainly looked earnest enough. Perhaps some of what Jenny had said to him earlier in the day bore reflection. Spike certainly wasn’t anything like the Council’s training had said to expect. He didn’t seem at all like a mindless, unfeeling animal.

Giles wasn’t yet willing to trust the vampire, but he might be willing to withhold judgment a bit longer.