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What You Wished For by pfeifferpack
 
Chapter 15
 
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Chapter 15
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The group of nervous Scoobies met back at the school library with a subdued Buffy trailing behind. She could tell her two young friends were skittish around her and she had not yet figured out how to get rid of her game face. Giles was being discreet, but she knew his hand was wrapped around the stake he always carried with him in case he felt he had to use it.

It only took a short conversation for him to
realize that Buffy still had her soul and that hadstayed his hand thus far. Buffy suddenly had far more sympathy for Angel and his souled condition, something she had found a laughable
concept barely days before.

While Buffy was frightened at the turn her life had
taken, she was confused as well. She had no memory of actually dying. In her typical way, she chose to deal with her sudden inclusion as a member of the undead population of Sunnydale later, much later. Right now her mind was still trying to wrap itself around the betrayal she felt over Spike’s lies. She had thought he was special, different.

Buffy had started to think she’d stumbled onto her long haul guy and that thought had buoyed her on more than one long night. Spike was strong and understood her calling. She had come to really enjoy patrolling with someone who could hold his own. Even Buffy’s fears of the Master had started to calm. Knowing Spike had her back had given her confidence and hope. Now it was as much ash as the vamps she staked nightly. How could she ever trust Spike again?

Giles finally admitted to what the secretive vamp
had told him weeks earlier. The mysteries of how Spike could be a vampire yet walk in the sun were explained, even though Giles could not describe the magical Gem the vampire had proven he possessed.

"So we can’t dust his pale ass?" Xander thought
back over the months the vampire had been one of the group and was terrified to think the demon had been right there among them. He had actually started to enjoy the man’s company and now he was looking at losing yet another friend because of a chomp-happy vampire, this time in a turning that happened long before Xander had
even been born.

Giles closed his eyes before responding. "I was looking into possible ways of taking care of the Spike situation, should it prove necessary. Nothing is truly invincible and, given enough time to research, I feel certain we can find a way to eliminate the threat he poses."

Buffy’s heart felt like it was tearing apart at the words. Spike had lied to her, to them all, yet she couldn’t help but remember that he had also helped them from the start. There had been nothing threatening in any of his actions from the time he joined them and began to court her.

"And me, Giles?" Buffy asked softly, though
everyone in the room heard her clearly. "What about me? Are you going to research 100 ways to kill a turned Slayer too?"

"That is rather different, Buffy, and you know it,"
said Giles indignantly. "Should it ever become
necessary, I would, as you might expect, do my duty. I daresay it will not become necessary. You have your soul yet and there is no reason to suspect the demon will be anything but firmly under your control."

"How can you tell I have my soul?" Buffy had wondered about that more than once as the long strange afternoon progressed.

"Well, for one thing, you appear to have no desire to go on a killing spree and your moral sense is as strong as ever," Giles had asked enough questions so that even the most clever demon would have been tripped up in a lie.

"Spike hasn’t done any killing, at least none that
wasn’t part of patrolling with me. He seems to have the same basic idea of right and wrong that we do." Buffy tried to reason it out. "But you say he doesn’t have a soul."

Willow nodded in agreement as she thought of the souled, human monsters who had no sense of morality and had done plenty of killing throughout history.

"He doesn’t, Buffy. I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses." The voice came from among the stacks. "I tried to warn you all. Spike is dangerous. Once he wants something, nothing stands in his way. He was obviously setting Buffy up and now he’s managed to turn her." Angel moved silently as a ghost as he descended the stairs and joined the group. He was still sporting a black eye and several bruises from his fight with Spike the day before.

"I think this is why he wanted me out of town so
badly," Angel continued. "He knew I’d dust before I’d allow any harm to come to Buffy." He turned his liquid brown eyes on the newly turned Slayer and silently pled for her to accept his affection and help. "Buffy, I can help you. You don’t have the stains on your soul that I did when I got mine back. You don’t have to do this alone. I can teach you, help you deal with the beast within."

Spike’s baritone sounded from the doorway, "Need to learn that yourself first, don’t you, Pops? Or have you mastered it since you dropped fangs on the girl over a simple kiss just
the other day?"

Giles tossed his ready stake to Xander as he made a grab for the crossbow in his desk drawer. Spike saw what he was doing and sneered. "Wantin’ to put on a more public demonstration of how effective those bits and pieces are…NOT?"

Spike looked at Buffy and took in her ridges and
fangs. She was really quite the loveliest vampire he had ever seen. Somehow more delicate than she usually was, for all the demon’s influence.

"I see you got the memo ‘bout me, pet," he stated with a flat voice. "Don’t suppose it’ll do a bit of good to say that I was here to tell you anyway." He could see from thecoldness in her eyes that he had waited far too long for an easy fix. The ironic thing was that he was telling the truth. He had risen with the determination of telling Buffy the whole truth once and for all, less the parts that involved him thinking of killing her, of course.

"Why?" Buffy’s question spoke volumes about her sense of betrayal and loss. One word had never been so choked with emotion and anguish. "Why did you spend hour after hour, day after day and never say a word?"

"Thought you needed to see for yourself that I was on your side, love. Knew the reaction there’d be if I just announced what I am," he waved his arm, taking in Xander with the stake, Willow with her nervous expression and the Watcher now armed with the crossbow. "Did I at least buy enough good will to tell my side?"

Angel snarled at Spike and moved in front of Buffy as if in protection. "You don’t get any closer, boy. No more games from you. As soon as we figure out where this Gem is on you, you’ll be as much dust as Drusilla."

Buffy seemed willing to allow Angel to take charge and it was breaking Spike’s heart. His strong girl didn’t need the Poof playing grand protector, but she stayed behind Angel’s back, away from Spike.

"Buffy, love, what happened?" Spike was truly
confused. His lovely girl, his bright angel was
clearly a vampire. No heartbeat echoed beneath her perfect breast. Spike had never heard of anyone rising that quickly and didn’t understand how it could be possible for Buffy to have been turned so fast. He walked towards his grandsire and his love slowly. Just because their weapons couldn’t kill him didn’t mean he wanted to become a pincushion.

"What do you THINK happened, Spike?" Buffy spat. "I let a vampire get too close to me. We all know what a bad idea that is, don’t we?" She was hurt and wanted Spike to hurt just as much as she did. From the expression in his eyes, she knew she’d succeeded.

"I’ve been tryin’ to do the right thing, Buffy. Tryin’
to figure it out as I go, you know. Not that easy
knowin’ the right thing," Spike had a catch in his
voice that gave truth to his words. "Been over a
century since it even mattered. ‘Til I met you, I
never cared about human ideas of good and evil, just did what came natural, yeah?"

"We all know what that is," Angel sneered. "You always rushed to the killing fields with glee. You were always a wild animal, Willie boy."

Without taking his eyes from Buffy, Spike calmly
replied, "And just who trained that animal, Angelus? Not denying my past, just sayin’ that’s what it is--my past." Spike finally looked each of the humans in the room directly in the eye before going on. "Look, not that it’s any of your business, but I love Buffy. Have from the moment I saw her, even if I didn’t know it then."

Spike looked deeply into Buffy’s eyes and spoke as though just to her. "Saw her dancin’ at the Bronze. She’s like living poetry when she moves, whether it’s dancin’ or killin’ beasties. She glows." He stopped speaking and time seemed to stand still as he gazed into the eyes of his beloved. "Never want to hurt that. You’re all I ever dreamed of, even as a human, all I’ll ever want or need."

The silence was broken by Angel’s snort. "And when you get tired of Buffy? What then? Back to lunch on the hoof? Who’ll be first, Spike? Xander? Willow? Maybe Buffy’s mother? Buffy said she was going to introduce you to Joyce tomorrow night. Planning on having Joyce Summers for your dinner?"

"Not bloody likely," Spike rounded on his grandsire in fury. "Happen to like the lady." Spike forgot for the moment that most of the people in the room had no idea he’d already met Joyce in his own timeline.

"More lies, Spike." Buffy snapped on to that little detail. "You’ve never even met her!"

"Not this time round, true," he began, not stopping to explain at this point. "Even if I never met her, I’d have to love her for bringin’ you into the world, makin’ you the kind and loving girl you are and molding you into the wonderful woman you’re gonna be."

Jenny had entered during Angel’s tirade and had been watching from the doorway as the various players tried to make sense of all the happenings of the day. Buffy seemed to have become a vampire and the truth about Spike was well and truly out. Angelus was making hay while the sun shone as he drove a wedge deeper and deeper between the two erstwhile lovers.

"How can I believe a word that comes out of your mouth, Spike?" Buffy cried. "You’ve done nothing but lie to me from the moment we met." Angel drew Buffy into his arms in comfort and Buffy didn’t pull away. She lay her head on the large vampire’s chest and sobbed as Angel sent Spike a sickly grin of triumph.

"I don’t think you’re needed here, boy," Angel smirked. "I’ll take care of Buffy just like I was always supposed to and you can take this opportunity to get the hell out of town before we figure out how to get past your lucky charms."

"You’re too big and lumbering to be playin’ the
leprechaun with the Lucky Charms dreck," snarled Spike, causing Xander to titter at the joke on Angel. Truthfully, all the vampires in the room made Xander feel more like he was in the middle of the bad horror movie Leprechaun than a breakfast cereal commercial. He was seriously wigged.

Willow had been thinking as everyone talked and
finally put in her two cents. "Um, guys, this
is all majorly weird, like all the other stuff we’ve
been dealing with this week. Maybe, because Spike hasn’t hurt anybody since we’ve known him, we can talk about that later and deal with nightmare boy right now?"

Spike wasn’t sure what Red was talking about but was touched that the girl seemed willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. As Buffy snuggled deeper into Angel’s embrace, Spike certainly had no problem feeling like HE was in a nightmare himself. Buffy had found out about him in the worst way possible, his human
friends feared him, Buffy hated and distrusted him and his poof of a grandsire was holding his girl! He smiled shyly at Willow and looked at Jenny for some idea of how to behave.

"I think Willow is right," Jenny added. "Rupert,
please put that thing down! You know it won’t do a thing to Spike except tick him off and I don’t think your odd code would let you use it on either Angel or Buffy, since they have that all-important soul."

Giles reluctantly put the crossbow on his desk and moved further into the room. "I know you disagree on the importance of a soul in this situation, Jenny," he began.

"I think Spike not having a soul yet helping out
against the bad guys should speak volumes, Rupert. It would be a good time to take a deep breath and remember that Spike wasn’t really lying, merely trying to get his bearings and decide what was the best way to tell his story without freaking everyone out."

"Sure, good way to comfort yourself about letting him run tame. Can’t kill him, so just hope he’s telling the truth about wanting to be a domesticated puppy. He’s a killer, vicious and far too good at evil to be allowed anywhere near the Slayer. He’s killed two of them, you know." Angel pressed his advantage while clutching Buffy to his breast.

"What?!" Xander and Buffy both exclaimed at the same time. Buffy looked accusingly at her Watcher. "You didn’t say anything about Spike having killed Slayers."

"Pet…Buffy, look, I’m not here to kill you. I’ll
stop anyone else that comes to kill you too." Spike had an edge of desperation in his voice as he prayed Buffy would just listen to him for a while. If Angel would just butt out, there might be a chance to make things right.

Jenny could see where this was going and was more than a bit alarmed at the look in Angel’s eyes. If he were allowed to continue, it wouldn’t take long for Angel to get close to Buffy. Too close. She could see Angelus nearly drooling with anticipation in his mental cage. He couldn’t be allowed to use Spike’s uncertainty and delays to his advantage. Jenny was close to a ritual that would anchor Angel’s soul, but she was not nearly ready to try it out now.

"Buffy, perhaps we should all just take a deep breath. You and Spike need time to talk ALONE and we don’t have that time right now. Why don’t we just step back and deal with things one at a time. Let’s stop these nightmares that are destroying reality and then work out who should have said what and when." Jenny glared at Angel and continued. "Let’s not take unfair
advantage either. Buffy has had some shocks and she needs help, not manipulation."

Angel hugged Buffy and placed a kiss on her forehead, causing a low growl to escape from Spike. "Okay, let’s get this taken care of so I can start helping Buffy adjust to her new life."

Giles had been thinking a bit as Willow and Jenny reminded everyone about Billy Palmer and the living nightmares that had become everyone’s reality. "Buffy, have you had nightmares of being turned?"

Buffy looked startled at the change in topic. "Well, yeah, I mean it’s always a possibility when I patrol that some nasty might have a lucky day."

"Maybe by stopping this bigger problem, your…um, condition…will clear up as well," Giles suggested. He was feeling hopeful for the first time since seeing Buffy rise from the ground.

Xander spoke up, "How are we going to stop this
again?"

"I believe if we wake Billy from his coma, all
will go back to normal." Giles looked at the small group and offered a prayer that it would indeed be that simple.

"Giles, how do we get Buffy to the hospital? It’s
daylight and no matter if it’s because of Billy’s
nightmares or not, she’s a vampire and Buffy and
sunshine are non-mixy just now." Willow was pretty sure there was no shaded path between the school and the hospital, even with the large block of nighttime that cloaked
the supernatural cemetery.

Spike closed his eyes, partly in fear but mostly in resignation. Buffy had finally moved away from Angel and was looking frustrated to say the least. "Buffy, I know you don’t think you can trust me again, but I really AM on your side. I love you and even if you send me away, I’m not going back to what I was. Know you’d hate that." He gulped nervously as he secretly
slid the ring from his finger. "Here, love, put this
on and go do your duty."

Buffy looked at the ring with no real understanding as Spike took her hand and slipped the Gem on her finger. "Nothing’s gonna take you out now, pet. Go wake the boy, yeah?"

Giles stood gape-mouthed as the import of what had just happened sunk in. Spike, the soulless vampire currently persona non grata to all but Jenny, had just given up his invincibility. Giles exchanged a look with Jenny, who also understood what had just transpired. Jenny had an ‘I told you so’ look about her.

Since Spike was many things, but never stupid, he chose the moment of confusion to race from the library and head for a place to wait for the sun to go down and a chance to try to talk to Buffy alone.

"Just what the hell was that all about?" Angel looked perplexed.

"That was about integrity and also love," Jenny
answered, as her eyes never left Giles.

"Okay, I’m guessing this ring is how Spike’s been all sun friendly," Xander chimed in. "I’m for the wake-up call plan, so I vote we head to the hospital before things get any worse."
Buffy nodded mutely as she stared down at the softly glowing green stone that Spike had given up without even a request. She thought about what had been said and, even more importantly, what she had seen and felt up to this awful day. Finally, she looked up at Angel and spoke. "No staking of Spike. He deserves a chance to explain at least. I mean it!"

Angel reluctantly nodded his agreement. "Agreed. For now. But if he starts to hurt you Buffy, all bets are off."

~~~

The boy looked deceptively peaceful in his hospital bed. The world around them, however, had rapidly descended into chaos. There were giant insects flying in the skies over Sunnydale. The hospital staff were totally ineffective as each was faced with his or her own worst fears and insecurities.

Billy’s doppelganger was in the corner of the room, looking at the group of people gathered around his comatose self. Giles moved to the astral boy and took hold of his shoulders. "Billy! Billy, you have to wake up," Giles gently shook the boy.

Billy looked at the Watcher with a look of calm
resignation. "No, I have to hide. I told her" Billy pointed to Buffy. "Have to hide from him."

Buffy turned and saw the Ugly Man coming toward the room.

"Glad you showed up. I’m having a really, really bad day here and I was wanting something to beat up." Buffy fisted her hands and squared off with the Ugly Man.

The monstrosity ignored the vamped Slayer and fixated on the boy in the bed. "Lucky nineteen!"

"Whoo, you’re really scary! I’ll tell you something
though. There are a lot scarier things than you and I’m one of them." Buffy stepped between the boy and the Ugly Man.

The man stopped and finally looked at Buffy. Buffy jumped on him before he spoke, knocking him down with all her pent-up anger and frustrations. She punched him full in the face, finally making an impression on the monster.

The Ugly Man fought back, pushing Buffy with his foot and causing her to fall backward. For once that day, Buffy was glad for the extra strength her new vampiric nature gave her as she rapidly turned and kicked the man in the stomach, causing him to double over.

The fight continued with the Ugly Man swinging his club arm at Buffy, narrowly missing her as she moved faster than any of them had ever seen her move before.

Buffy finally got a good grip on the club arm and
broke it over her knee. The Ugly Man screamed in pain and fell to the ground unconscious as all the Scoobies stared in amazement.

Astral Billy stared in horror at the monster that had been tormenting him even in his coma. "Is he dead?"

Buffy motioned to the boy and gently said, "Come here, Billy. You have to do the rest. Come on, it’s okay. No more hiding."

Billy looked down at the still body and reached for the Ugly Man’s face. A bright light shone and
suddenly all was normal in the world again. The Ugly Man was gone. Buffy felt her heart beating again; it was almost painful in her chest. Outside the window, Sunnydale was returning to as close to normal as that city would ever get.

The boy in the bed began to stir as Willow sighed in relief. "I had the strangest dream and you were all in it!" Billy looked from one stranger to another. "Who ARE you people?"

Giles headed for the door to get a
Doctor, but before he could leave the room, Billy’s coach practically ran over the Watcher. "Oh! Huh…Billy’s got company. I’m his little league coach. I come by every day just hoping the little guy wakes up soon. He’s my lucky nineteen? How’s he doing?"

Buffy and Giles looked at each other, silently discussing their next step. Giles then went to the phone at the boy’s bedside while Buffy delighted in showing the bully that his little victim was, indeed, awake at long last.

"Billy’s awake and I think YOUR luck just ran out," Buffy said.

"What are you talking about?" The man tried to edge back toward the door and freedom, but Xander and Willow had moved to block the doorway.

Billy, encouraged by the witnesses, finally spoke what they all knew was the truth, "You said it was my fault that we lost. You punished me for our losing."

Xander grabbed the man by his jacket as he tried to force his way out.

"It wasn’t my fault. There’s eight other players on the team, you know that!" Billy repeated Buffy’s insight and laid back down with a peaceful, vindicated look on his face.

Giles was already relaying details to the police on the other end of the telephone line. The coach was going to be going far away from the fragile but brave boy in the bed.

"Nice going," Buffy smiled at the boy. Billy merely smiled back shyly at the pretty girl.

~~~


Buffy invited Willow to stay over, more to keep from being alone with her thoughts than anything else. Still those thoughts were nearly visible to both girls as they spooned Rocky Road and painted each other’s fingernails.

"So…," Willow broached the subject they were all concerned about. "What about Spike?"

"Well, I can’t forget that he’s been lying to me all
this time. I really don’t want to see him right now." Willow could sense that Buffy wasn’t nearly as certain as she wanted to sound.

Buffy took another mouthful of ice creamy goodness and twisted the ring on her finger that had allowed her to safely exist as a vampire when she had most needed it. Spike had offered up his own life and safety by giving the ring to her. He was vulnerable now, out there somewhere with no protection. Buffy tried to tell herself it only mattered because she hadn’t yet had the chance to make him pay for his lies, but her heart knew differently.

"Maybe you should do like Miss Calendar said and give Spike a chance to explain," Willow offered. "I mean if Spike loves you and he doesn’t have a soul, it’s pretty…I don’t know…amazing? Miraculous? I really
think there are no words for a vampire who’d become good because of love. I think it’s romantic!" Willow fixed Buffy with her very best resolve face and smiled wistfully. "It’s like you’re Belle! You know, Beauty and the Beast! Would that make you a Slay Belle?" Willow quipped, causing the first laugh Buffy had managed all night.

"I just don’t know what to think, Will. He’s so…," Buffy hesitated, "so right. Everything about Spike is…was …perfect. It was like finding my other half. I don’t know what to do! Mom’s expecting him for dinner the day after tomorrow and I don’t even know if I’m going to have to dust him before then."

"I don’t think lying is a dustable offense. If it is,
shouldn’t you dust Angel too? Neither one of them came up to you and said, ‘Hi, Buffy, I’m a vampire, but don’t panic, I’m a good vampire here to help you.’ They didn’t, ‘cause we all know the reaction we’d have had. Maybe that’s all it was, Buffy. I think he’s earned the chance for you to hear him out." Willow was solidly in Spike’s corner. Spike had plenty of chances to hurt all of them over the months he’d been in their company. He had the ring that made it
impossible to be staked for anything he’d do too. In Willow’s mind, those two facts alone should be reason enough to give the vampire a break.

"Yeah, not going to do anything without being sure," Buffy said sadly. "Is he so perfect for me because he ISN’T a normal guy? Is that what this means, Will? Am I destined to be with a demon of some kind? What does that say about me?"

"It says you’re special, that’s all," Willow comforted her friend.

~~~

Angel didn’t like the idea of eavesdropping, but there was too much at stake going on. He hadn’t been able to track Spike earlier and Buffy had to be protected from her own soft heart.

He’d been strangely disappointed to find Buffy back to being human. He was, however, comforted to see that she still had
Spike’s magical ring. If his wayward childe dared come near Buffy, he’d have to get through Angel. The older vamp took up his station, watching the two girls as they giggled and talked. For tonight at least, Spike was not coming anywhere near Buffy.

~*~*~*~*

A/N: Some dialog is direct from the shooting scripts of "Nightmares". I altered some of the dialog slightly for the purposes of my story. Lots of the original is intact in the Buffy/Hank scene. Original dialog in the episode credited to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt.






 
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