TENWEK HOSPITAL-30 JULY, 2002-

Buffy was confused; she shook her head, trying to understand what Giles had just told her, “What do you mean, ‘Closed off?’ Giles, this is crazy,” Buffy turned her head to her Watcher, exposing her neck and her jugular vein to his knowing eyes and hissed, “Do you see anything?” she slapped the skin of her neck, bringing the blood to the surface and reddening her skin, “You see, the skin’s nice and red. It even stings. That means there’s still something in the veins. I’m still breathing! I’m talking! Giles, you know he didn’t hurt me!” she huffed in frustration and anger, lowering her eyes from his stony gaze, “Giles,” she whispered as her mind once again showed her the terror that was in his eyes before he ran off into the night.

Oh God, he must be so scared!

“Giles, you didn’t see him,” she shook her head, her heart was full of dread, “He couldn’t hurt me. He just couldn’t do it!”

Panya watched the exchange with great interest, from his place at the foot of the girl’s bed. He could see what the Englishman could not. He nodded his head in vigorous agreement, “I agree. He would not hurt her,” his lilting voice hardened with certainty, “Not Shujaa . He could not. He thinks of her as his…” Panya’s eyes fell as he was overcome by concern, his voice and confidence faltering.

Gile’s gaze darkened, “We cannot be certain what happened,” he reminded the boy as he turned his attention back to Buffy. The hurt and concern he saw in her eyes made him look away, “He may not have done it consciously. But, there is no way to know what was going through his mind. We don’t know if…”

“No!” Buffy hissed, trying to keep the weight of tears from her voice. Her eyes widened in desperate sadness, “Giles, you said the authorities are saying it was an animal attack?”

Giles nodded.

Buffy shook her head in disbelief. She heard the words Giles was telling her. She understood his concern, she really did. She shook her head again, trying to take it all in. He wasn’t there. He didn’t see… She tried to breathe and was rewarded with an answering pain that made her cough weakly. As the pain shot through her, she smiled. See there it is. There’s the proof. I’m not dead. If it was him- if he was out of his mind- I’d be dead.

Giles was more than a bit disquieted by the silent glow of rapture that seemed to settle over her suddenly. She looked dazed. The tiny smile that pulled at one side of her mouth changed her face in such a way that she did not look like herself. She was too calm, too serene. She didn’t seem herself. It was almost as if…

He tried to bring her focus back to him, tried to speak to her. He gripped her shoulders lightly and shook her gently until her eyes focused on him again, “…Buffy, can you hear me?” there was no response. He looked at Panya, who had made his way, quietly, to the left side of the hospital bed. The boy seemed concerned, but not panicked as he drew near to her side, “Buffy, can you hear me?”

She nodded slowly. As she turned her head and looked at him, Giles saw the smile grow wider, and her eyes glistened with tears, “Giles,” she whispered in awe, “I’m not dead.”

The glee of that fact made his own voice weak in response, “I know that,” he whispered, “And I’m very glad that you are not. You have no idea how grateful I am…”

“No!” her tone was a mixture of exasperation and relief. Her smile was still in place as she shook her head, still trying to make him understand, “Giles, how long have I been here?”

“Nearly four days…”

Buffy looked at Panya, “And the rangers- they’ve found the lion that attacked?”

Panya nodded, his eyes sparkling as he began to share her glee, “Yes, Shujaa. The lion is dead. They said it was shot in the throat. The rangers’ bullets tore her open,” he shook his head slightly, “ Shujaa, I saw the carcass. Bullets cannot do what was done to that lioness’s throat,” he nodded and sighed in relief, “I am sorry,” Panya apologized, “I should have seen it before this moment.”

“It’s all right,” she chuckled at her own stupidity, “I didn’t see it either, and I’m supposed to know better,” her eyes welled with tears as something Panya had said moments ago began to sink into her conscious mind. She looked at the teenager that stood at her left and asked in a soft voice, hoping that her voice wasn’t as weak as she suddenly felt. It was like someone had taken all the air out of the room. Her fingers and toes had even begun to tingle because of it, “He thinks of me as his what?”

Panya smiled, “He told me you were his ‘Mtina’, Shujaa. He would not harm you. I know that. I am sorry I did not see it. I should have.”

Buffy listened to the word. The way he said it, with reverence, the word must have meant something very important, “ Mtina,” she tried the word softly on her tongue. She liked the way it felt in her mouth; the way it sounded like a precious thing when she said it. Looking at him as he grinned, she asked, “What does it mean? It means something important, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, yes,” he whispered his agreement, still smiling, “very important.”

“What does it mean?” Buffy asked, breathlessly. She almost hated to know. I don’t know if I can live up to it. It must mean something. I don’t know if I can… “What does it mean?”

“In English?” Panya asked.

Buffy nodded, biting her lip pensively as she waited for him to translate the word so that she would understand it.

She didn’t have to wait long, “ Shujaa. In English, mtina means…it means,” his eyes avoided her. He could not help but feel as though he were betraying a confidence in telling her this. Perhaps Simba does not wish her to know.

But as he looked at the pain in her eyes, he knew that his friend would forgive him his weakness if it took his lady’s pain from her, “It means, ‘heart.’ Shujaa.”

“Oh,” Buffy whispered. She could feel hot tears pouring down her face, but she didn’t care, “my God. Giles…”

Giles felt as if he were witnessing an epiphany he knew he should be a party to, but somehow couldn’t seem to grasp, “I don’t understand,” he said.

Buffy smiled at the man that had somehow been a better father to her than her own, “No, you don’t. Giles, I’m not dead. And, I should be,” she saw the confusion on his face and asked, “Do you think that I would have survived if the lion had attacked me? Giles, I am the Slayer. But really, if it came down to a smackdown, the lion would have won. Only someone stronger than me would have made sure that all I came away with are a few broken ribs and a bruise. Giles, you said my heart stopped. It was just Spike, the lion, and I. I’m here. The lion’s dead. Giles, don’t you understand? He saved me.”

Panya could feel a tightness settle in his own chest as he continued, “ Shujaa , often words in Swahili have many meanings. Mtina is one such word,” Panya had never felt more like a boy than he did as he felt his throat tightening. He didn’t want to seem like a boy in front of her. He wanted to be worthy of Simba’s friendship. He wanted to be a man. The man he knew he was. He swallowed the pit in his throat and said, “It also means, ‘soul.’”

Her eyes scanned the dim hospital ward again, “Where is he, Giles?”

Giles kept his eyes downcast, “He isn’t here, Buffy…”

Her tone became more insistent, as if she needed the information like she needed air to breathe, “Giles,” she said slowly, “where is he?”

Giles shifted his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, glancing furtively, at the earthen floor of the tiny hospital. In a voice that was much too small and uncertain for a man his size, Giles answered, “I received a telegram, the night you were attacked. It was from a Watcher that, to my knowledge, still does the Council’s bidding. It seemed to indicate that,” he glanced at the doctors around him, and said, in a low voice, “William might be in danger…”

“What?” Buffy gasped, holding her hand to her mouth to prevent herself from screaming.
************************************************

LONDON ENGLAND-

Quentin stood over his prisoner and marveled at the drug’s speed and its affect. William had been subdued rather quickly. The vampire was, for the time being, no longer a threat.

He left the vampire slumped against the cell wall, and turned to deal with the younger man, who was busied with holstering the weapon he had just fired, “Thank you Stanley,” he smiled his satisfaction to the red head, who stood next to him. Looking back at the dazed look in the vampire’s eyes, he nodded, “That seems to be enough. You may go now.”

The younger man gave his superior a dubious look and then looked at the vampire that was crumpled, barely conscious and in heavy shackles and chains, on the floor, “Are you certain, Sir? It’s still dangerous.”

Quentin patted the lad’s shoulder reassuringly, “I’ll be fine. You may go. I’ll call if I should need any assistance. I will lock up behind you, don’t worry.”

“Yes, Sir,” the young man said as he turned to leave.

Spike could hear someone talking, far off. He tried to focus, tried to remember where he was. But his brain felt soft, like he was floating in a sea of cotton that went on forever. He couldn’t fight it. Every time he got to the surface, he became too tired to cry out and it pulled him back under.

He was leaving. No, you can’t leave me here! Don’t leave, please…don’t go. So tired. Have to get up. Find…find…whom?

A dark shadow came into his vision. The shadow spoke. It was so far away and he was so tired, “Now, William. I will not let you corrupt the Slayer. Not now- not ever,” Quentin’s face danced at the edge of his consciousness, like a blurry watercolor. The colors were all running together, giving it a soft appearance. There was no definition to it. But the shadow’s whispered words had their desired affect. They struck terror to the very core of him, “The Slayer is lost to you, William.”

The terror was the last thing he felt before the sea pulled him under. He was lost in its black waves. His own voice was nearly lost to it as it struggled to hang on to something. As it struggled for a reason, he found it in her, “B…ugh,” he whispered as the waves took him under, and into their soft hold. He was floating again.

His mind tried to hold on to her. He knew this couldn’t last forever. He would find her again. But, as he fell under, all Spike knew was how tired he was. And, unwillingly, he slept.