Giles paced the floor of his makeshift office in Devon. There had to be some mistake. Lydia had to be wrong. Not even Quentin Travers, may he burn in Hell for the rest of eternity, would attempt this. And, if it was true… if he had done it, then they were all in danger.

There are legends but…if he has done this…Oh God! I worked beside the man for nearly a quarter of a century. I can’t believe I saw what he was capable of too late. Too late for William, certainly- if this is true. I hope to God I’m wrong!
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“Dawn,” Buffy whispered, “maybe you should leave now, just for a little while?” she knew this would be hard for her to see, and this was just one of the first steps in what she knew would be a long journey. She understood why Dawn was hovering so close.

She was afraid that he wasn’t real, and if she let him go, even for a second, he would vanish.

Buffy gently unfolded her sister’s hand from around his, and tried to keep her breathing calm and even so that it would not fall into rhythm with hers, which was coming fast and heavy. She really is scared. If he said “Boo” right now, she’d jump out her skin…and so would I. She held Dawn’s hand for a long moment after unwrapping her fingers from around his hand, gently keeping the little hand from attaching to his in a desperate bid to make him remain present, and tangible to her, “See Dawnie,” she whispered, her own eyes never leaving Spike’s face, trying to convince herself that he was real, “he’s still here. And he’ll still be here,” she looked at her sister’s wide, disbelieving eyes and nodded assurance, trying to erase the doubt she saw there; to erase the doubt she felt in her own heart, “after you leave. I promise.”

“But I can’t leave, Buffy,” Dawn whimpered, her eyes falling on Spike’s bandaged wrist and the palm that lie upturned and empty at his side, waiting for her grasp; and then up, moist and bright, to her sister, “He needs me.”

Buffy tried to speak, but the emotion she was feeling made speaking without tears almost impossible. The past two weeks had changed them all, but none more than Spike. Buffy was worried that her sister might not understand that Spike might never be the one who took care of her those months she was gone, again, “Dawn, his bandages need to be changed. It could be difficult to watch. Look at him Dawn,” she said and Dawn’s eyes swept cautiously over him, taking in the damage that had been inflicted upon him, doing what she couldn’t do. Buffy waited for Dawn to look back at her, and she said, “He’s a wreck, and that’s just on the outside,” she shook her head, trying to keep the tears at bay, and her voice from wavering, “We haven’t even gotten to what kind of damage is on the inside,” she gave Dawn a sad smile, “And besides, I don’t think he would want his, ‘Bit’ seeing him in this condition,” she shrugged, and her voice became soft- almost childlike, as images of Spike ran through her head, “He likes to be the ‘Big Bad.’ I think he needs it.”

“I know,” Dawn nodded, her voice shaking, “And if he asks, he’s still the biggest bad there is. But I need to be here, Buffy. I…” she wiped at the tears that she couldn’t stop from falling, “I don’t care if he doesn’t. That doesn’t matter. But I…I love him, Buffy, and I need to be here.”

“You’re sure you’re ready for this?” Buffy asked.

“No, but I have to grow up sometime,” Dawn paused to take a big breath, leaning in close so that Spike could focus on her eyes. She had no idea if he even understood her, but he was focused on her, so that was something. He blinked, like a sleepy cat does, as if he were telling her, “Well, let’s get on with it then. A bit busy, here, fighting the biggest battle of my life! Get on with it!” The impatient look in his eye made her smile, “Okay, Spike, we’re gonna have to change the bandages on your wrists. Don’t worry, we’ll go slowly and we’ll try not to hurt you. It might hurt some, though. If it hurts too much- will you tell us?”

Bit…no! You have to hide! William and I had an agreement. But the Watcher changed the rules and now it’s here. It’s coming for you, and Buffy. It wants to use me. But as long as I can…I’ll hold it off as long as I can. It’s so angry! I’ve never seen…never felt something so angry. And it’s strong. It’s stronger than I am. I’m trying…but I don’t know if I can… I have to tell you…before it finds me…this thing is old, very old. Older than…Oh why can’t you hear me?

Inside his shell, the creature that had come to love and care for the world and the people in it, the part of him that wanted to keep them safe, broke- and wept.

Buffy heard Dawn gasp and step quickly back, “What is it, Dawn?” she stepped closer to the bed, and closer to her sister, who now seemed to be shaking in fright.

“Did you see that?” Dawn’s voice shot a wave of cold fear to her heart, and the look in her eyes didn’t help calm her, “Tell me you can see that,” Dawn’s voice was caught on the edge between begging and demanding.

“See what?” Buffy whispered, not really wanting to.

Please don’t tell me. Oh, Spike… she could feel the tears welling up, could feel the ache in her throat getting larger the longer he was gone; the longer he stayed so still and silent, What did that monster do to you?

Dawn shook her head fiercely in denial and disbelief, “I don’t know how I know…I just do. There’s something in there, with Spike,” she swallowed hard, trying to be strong, “and I think it wants to kill him.”
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