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Of Light And Shadow by FetchingMadScientist
 
Blessings and Cursings
 
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Willow knew that she had to work fast. If she didn’t figure out how to remove or neutralize the Ukesolrill then Spike would die. What Spike had managed to do, in weaving the demon’s essence with the soul, was ingenious, but it was just a stopgap measure. Eventually, the Ukesolrill would find the demon that was using the soul as a kind of camouflage, and attempt to extinguish it.

After all, that was what a Slayer was designed to do, and the Ukesolrill, for better or worse, was the Slayer. It would see the essence that was “Spike” as a kind of virus that was invading its host body. It might recognize William as something to be protected, and leave the soul alone, but now, with the two so intertwined, if “Spike” died, would the soul that was left survive?

If they took the powers that made it possible for me to kill Xander- if they were taken from me now, would * I * survive? Would I go insane without them, and the power they give me?


As Willow hung up the telephone, she looked up at Giles and sighed wearily, “Miss Chalmers seems to think you’re on the right track. But she says it’s very risky. She told me…” Willow tried to avoid the angry flash in his eyes, “…she had to, about your family history,” she bit her lip, unsure she should go on, “About why your Grandmother Rachel became the first female Watcher in the history of the Council. And why you, as incredible as it seems,” she said as she rolled her eyes, “were almost kicked off of the Watchers’ Council, even before you were assigned as Buffy’s watcher- more than once.”

Giles cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with Willow’s new insight, and taking his handkerchief from his pocket, he removed his eyeglasses, and glided the cloth over perfectly clear lenses, “Yes well,” he spoke softly, “I would be most grateful to you, Willow, if you kept that in the strictest of confidences. That particular,” he visibly winced before continuing to speak, “ ‘cross’ is not something that is common knowledge. In fact, I’m not sure why Miss Chalmers is even aware of it. I had thought that I had buried it…”

Willow became alarmed as all the color drained from Giles’s face and his eyes grew wide. He quickly looked in the direction of the stairs, which were outside the den. His face was terror-stricken, “Giles,” Willow gasped, “what is it?”

“There is no way for Lydia to know that particular piece of information. Unless…” he whispered, “good Lord!”
************************************************************

5 December 1910- Essex, England-

As Drusilla nibbled at his neck, he tried to keep the impatience out of his tone, “Pet,” he sighed, gently pushing her off of him, “I know you want to play. But this isn’t the time,” he eyed the bride and groom, who were murmuring words of devotion to one another in front of family and friends.

That was another world. That didn’t belong to him now. And yet… “We must be quiet now,” he whispered in Drusilla’s ear, as they stood in against the back wall of the little chapel, “Mustn’t let them know we’re here, Princess,” he smirked as he nuzzled her neck, “We’re uninvited you know,” he said thickly.

“Oh, I know,” she purred, “I feel so naughty. But I do so love weddings. The little fairies all dressed in white. She looks like an angel, doesn’t she William?”

He nodded, “ Yes,” he agreed.

And she really did. Standing there, at the small alter; looking into her groom’s eyes, she was beautiful. So full of life that it almost made his chest ache. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. But then, now, to him, all humans were beautiful. To him, they were like the pixies that his sister Emma used to spend hours chasing.

Humans were the myth now. They were the things that were as elusive as sunlight. They were something to catch and hold- and they did warm him for a while, as sunlight once had. But, it never lasted. It was fleeting.

There was a time that he wanted this, and as the minister joined the two as one, he knew that Rachel would be safe.

And, she would live to be an obscenely old woman. He would see to it. That was his promise to her.

“…We could make her into one, shall we?” Drusilla whispered coolly into his ear.

“What was that, Sweet?” he asked, distracted. He was suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the world of light, and the weight of his deception.

“My silly boy. A beautiful wedding, a beautiful bride, and my Prince is out of sorts. So much like Daddy. He’s so hungry he can’t think properly. Well,” Drusilla pouted, “Mummy can remedy that, soon enough. She will go fast, I promise. You can be gentle with her. I know you can,” she tried to soothe him, but this was something she couldn’t touch. This was something he wanted to be with him always. This was not something he wanted to forget, “…She’s ready, William. She looks so pretty, and so sweet. You like sweet things, don’t you?” he felt her hands gripping his shoulder, urging him on, “You can do it. She’s already dressed for Heaven.”

The implications of Drusilla’s words cut through the fog of loss and regret, “No,” he hissed, his tone harsh.

“But William” Dru whinged, “she’s perfect for you. Don’t you see?”

“I said no,” he growled in her ear, his voice was so slight, that the wedding guests in the pew directly in front of them must have assumed that he was whispering sweet nothings into his lady’s ear, “not this one, Dru. This is very tiresome,” he grumbled. “I’m certain we could find you a nice street urchin,” he smiled, his eyes glinting with an evil light, “That would be much tastier than an old spinster trying to put on the airs of a young bride,” he snorted dismissively, “would it not?” he coaxed, “It is dusk just now. There will be enough of them for you to have your fill. Leave these two alone. We must be going now.”

Drusilla looked longingly at the bride and groom as they slowly made their way out of the tiny chapel, arm in arm, then looked back at William, who seemed so eager, “You’re right, William,” she said, “ We must be going. A girl mustn’t waste time chasing pixies.”

Her words brought back thoughts of Emma. But, there was nothing to be done for it now; William smiled, perhaps a bit too broadly, “Indeed not!” he said exuberantly as he led his Princess into the night.

As he ran with her, he felt strangely light on his feet. He’d done it; he’d convinced her to let them live another day.

His dear sister, Rachel Louise Dustin, and her new husband, James Fredric Giles, could have a life.

As he let the chill of the December night flood his senses, and he watched Drusilla race ahead of him, William sent an almost breathless prayer up into the air, “Live well, Rachel. Live well.”

Joyous laughter rang into the night, as a wedding was celebrated.

*************************************************************

His heart shook and shattered. If this was true… if his hunch was correct…

“Willow,” Giles gasped, “We have to help him. We must help him. I must help him.”

Willow had never seen Giles like this before. His hands were shaking, and he looked to be on the verge of tears. She wasn’t sure what had just happened, but she did her best to comfort him, “We will, Giles. We will,” she said softly.
 
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