He smiled at her as he slowly sat up, “Bit?” he asked, looking around the room, “I’m ashamed to admit it, but, don’t rightly know. Where am I?”

“England,” Dawn said.

Spike’s eyes squinted in confusion, “England…Well then, what are you…?” his eyes widened, “Oh God,” he gasped, “He didn’t get you too,” he moved to stand up, but when his weakened limbs refused to hold him, he sank back onto the bed.

“Don’t worry,” Dawn said quickly, trying to comfort him even as she felt a swell of sympathy for the vampire who had been her confidant, and an anger at what Travers had done to everyone she cared about, begin within her, “that man never touched me. I’m here…because,” she gave a lopsided smile, “I finally decided to grow up. And because Buffy wanted me here, because she knew that…you would need me, like I need you,” she lowered her eyes from his shyly, “She was right,” she muttered.

She looked up and saw his anxious eyes, “Buffy?” he whispered.

Dawn bit her lip. She knew that he wasn’t going to like the answer, but she didn’t want to lie to him either, “She’s…sleeping,” Dawn said softly.

“Sleeping…? No,” Spike’s head lowed for a moment, and when he looked up Dawn could see his eyes shining. They were shining the way they had when he thought she was someone named Emma, “She’s all right…?”

“We don’t know. No one can figure out why she’s still asleep. It’s been three days since…”

Spike’s head was lowered in grim acknowledgement, “…Since I bit her,” he ground out as the images flashed in his mind.

He could remember the thing gaining strength when he heard those beautiful words. He could remember trying desperately to hold on, and not let the darkness overtake him. But he wasn’t strong enough.

Against his will he felt the sweet rush, and it made his stomach turn, now. The thing he had come to Sunnydale for- the taste of her- still lingered on his tongue. What at one time would have been sweet- now was as bitter as gall. He hadn’t felt this sick since Mouse had found him groveling in the sand.

He felt spent, and used. His nerves felt raw and his skin felt as if it had been turned inside out.

And, as the images of what he had done cascaded over him, he wanted to vomit. He remembered the unrelenting hatred pulling at him, and he was so weak. Too weak to stop it…Buffy…forgive me…please? I was weak. I should have stopped it…

He could remember crying out to the heavens for help. He was too weak…He couldn’t stop it. And now, the Watcher had won.

He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted it to be a lie. But, he knew it wasn’t.

He wasn’t stupid. This house was so full of grief that he could taste it. It had to be true. The fact that Dawn was in shock proved what he already knew, in his heart. And, if by some miracle she had managed to hang on, it was only by the thinnest thread. If she was hanging on, it was for Dawn, not for him.

She didn’t love him. She couldn’t.

It’s a lie. Please…let it be a lie.

He looked up at the one who could save him, the sister, and his stomach nearly retched. He knew that look. He’d seen it before. But how could she…? Unless… “Bit,” he stuttered, her name nearly silent in the face of his fear, “…tell me…I didn’t…?”

“Okay,” she said, her eyes sparkling, “You didn’t.”

Spike’s body shuddered, and he let out a sigh, “Bit…”

Dawn held out her hand and said gently, “Come on. Seeing is believing.”

Spike didn’t know if he should believe. But the hope Dawn offered was all that would save him now. So, reluctantly, he took the hope she offered him when he took her hand.
***********************************************************************

KENYA, AFRICA-

He smiled at the tourist, “Thank you, sir,” Panya said as he took the man’s pocket change, “Thank you very much.”

It wasn’t much, he knew. But, if he put this night’s take with the savings he had accumulated over the past few weeks, it might be enough.

He was worried about his friend, Simba, as well as the old Englishman and Shujaa, of course. He hadn’t had word of them since they had left here to find Simba, and that worried him.

By now, Panya felt that he should have heard something. Silence, he knew, was not a good thing in Simba’s world.

He felt that he was needed, and so he would go.

As he watched the man walk away with his trinket, Panya took the pouch out of its safe place under the counter. He opened it at surveyed the contents. It was just as he thought. Now, he could afford a plane ticket, and the correct documentation; documentation that would allow him to travel to England.

His friend needed him. And tomorrow morning, he would go.
***************************************************

The short trip up the tiny hall was the longest he had ever taken. Spike knew that he was most probably crushing the bones in his Nibblet’s hand, seeing as how he had it in a crushing grip. But it couldn’t be helped.

Right now, the Nibblet was his lifeline. And, as the door loomed closer, his mind went blank. He couldn’t think of anything but her- and the sickness hit him again.

How could I be so weak! I let that…that…* thing*…that monster use me like a slave. I let it take her, when I swore I wouldn’t!

Dawn lightly tapped on the door, “Willow,” she whispered, “Spike is with me…”

“What?” her voice was sharp and disbelieving, “He should be sleeping! After all he’s been through…”her shocked face appeared in the doorway.

Dawn nodded and sighed, “I know Willow. But, he wouldn’t believe me otherwise,” she gave Willow a mischievous grin, “You wanna tell him no?”

Willow blanched, and retreated, “Goddess no! I know better!” she gasped as she stood away from the door, allowing him access.

Spike pushed past Willow and slowly approached the bed that Buffy was lying on. It wasn’t until he noticed her steady breathing and pulse that he allowed himself to relax.

She’s alive…but… “Why is she unconscious?” the question barely registered, as it took no air from the room. She needed it. He couldn’t take anything more from her.

“Willow has a theory,” Giles’s quiet voice came from the doorway.

Spike turned to face the Watcher, but his question was for Willow, “And, what is that Red?”

“I think she’s given up,” Willow said.

“Given up?” Spike’s haggard face looked to the Watcher that was his only kin for the answers.

“Yes,” Giles choked, “You see…Travers…he…” his eyes became hidden and grim. He was unable to look up because of the shame he felt at being a party, in any way, to the hurt that now touched everyone he cared even the least about, “The entity that he put inside your body…with you…was meant to be used to…assassinate the Slayer, in a way that would elicit no argument. Vampires have killed Slayers before. No one would question it,” he sighed, and continued, “And in the process a vampire would be eliminated. Because, you see…the entity that had you in its thrall, has been, and is, a part of the Slayer. It is, in fact, what gives the Slayer her strength. It was designed to kill vampires. So when it…overpowered you…she thought that…”

Spike gasped involuntarily, and Giles looked up, and was astonished to find, not the eyes of a vampire, but the eyes of his family- his uncle’s pain filled eyes- looking back, “…She thought that…it had killed me,” Spike whispered, “Oh…” he turned and looked at Buffy’s small body as she lie on the bed, apparently lifeless, “Rupert,” he choked out, his voice rough with unshed tears, “What can I do?”