“No!” Angel shouted out in a voice of anguished fear, as he plunged forward toward the fallen vampire.

At the exact same moment, Buffy cried out, “*Spike*!” and left her sister’s side to rush to his aid.

Willow did not make any attempt to stop either of them, her impossibly dark eyes going wide with surprise, when she realized that her bolt of fury had hit the wrong target. She shook her head slowly, in confused disbelief, as the Slayer and her former vampire lover hovered over the unconscious blond where he had fallen, his body draped limply over the trembling form of his former tormentor.

As Buffy and Angel lifted Spike’s still body between them, moving him off to the side of the room, Xander scrambled backwards against the wall, his eyes wide and darting with terror and bewilderment between the vampire who had inexplicably taken the death blow for him – and his best friend, who might quite possibly be preparing to deliver a second one.

“Not dust,” Buffy muttered under her breath as she smoothed Spike’s hair back from his slack forehead, alarmed at the strange heat she felt emanating from his smooth flesh. “He’s not dust…he’s not dust…”

*As long as he’s not dust…he’s not dead…he’s not dead…he’s gonna be okay…he’s gonna be okay…*

Angel glanced up at her with dark, serious eyes from where he knelt at his childe’s side, before looking anxiously up toward Willow, wondering if she posed any further threat to Spike’s safety. He was fairly certain that she did not, as she had not intended to hit Spike to begin with – but one could never be sure when these sorts of dark magics were involved.

Willow was still staring at the little scene taking place before her, apparently trying to make it make sense with what she knew of the situation.

She couldn’t.

“I – I don’t understand,” she said, her voice quieter now, and uncertain. “Why would he – after…”

In her surprise, Willow had allowed the restraints holding the others back to fall away, and now, the Watcher cautiously made his way to her side, his own eyes wide and wondering at what he had just seen – and yet, shining with a sort of awe as it gradually began to come together for him.

“Because he knew what it would do to you, Willow,” he supplied softly, catching the witch’s black gaze. “He knew the damage it would do to you, to take the life of your very best friend – and he knew that in the end, that damage would destroy not only you – but everyone around you…”

Dawn had stayed where she was, on her knees on the floor, staring with wide, stricken eyes as her sister and Angel worked to revive her own best friend. She did not seem to have the strength to move or speak – but as she listened to the Watcher’s words, she suddenly seemed to regain it.

Her eyes narrowed as she rose slowly to her feet and continued the statement Giles had allowed to trail off.

“…and he chose to give *himself* up instead of letting the rest of us all die. Even though – even though half the people in this room don’t seem to care very much *what* happens to *him*…”

Her voice was soft, tearful, but void of the blind fury that had filled it before – before she had experienced first hand the dilemma of indecision that had held her sister in its clutches since their first suspicion of Xander as the guilty party.

Buffy’s startled eyes looked up at her sister, as she suddenly realized the true reason for Spike’s unexpected actions, and looked back down with wonder at his still face, ironically more peaceful now, at rest, than she had seen it since she had found him in the Initiative caves.

A fleeting thought crossed her mind, chilling her blood.

*Oh, God, what if he wants this? I didn’t keep him safe – he was always afraid – what if this is what he *wants*? Just to – to be free of it?*

“Oh, Spike,” she whispered, her eyes welling with desperate, fearful tears. “I’m so sorry…don’t leave me, Sweetie…please wake up…”

As if in response to her soft, desperate plea, Spike’s eyes slowly drifted open, his head rolling slightly from side to side as he gradually began to regain consciousness. He blinked a few times, as his wide blue eyes slowly came into focus – on the Slayer who was openly weeping with relief.

“Buffy…” he whispered uncertainly, frowning when he saw her crumpled face, smelled the warm salt of her tears. “Buffy, love…”

“Stupid vampire.”

Willow’s cold, derisive words suddenly drew all of their attention, as Buffy looked up at her apprehensively, shaking her head in a silently pleading gesture. Angel, who was half-standing already, rose fully to his feet and moved bravely between the witch and his wounded childe.

Willow just sneered at him, rolling her eyes at his attempt.

“Please,” she smirked. “If Spike was who I was after – don’t think *you* could stop me.”

Her dark eyes focused once more on her former best friend, with a lazy, cruel smile – and Xander let out a very unmanly whimper as he scuttled back against the wall, shaking his head frantically, wide chocolate brown eyes staring at her with wild terror.

“Willow – Willow, please…” he sobbed. “Don’t hurt me, Willow…I’m your friend…please!”

“Why not? You didn’t have any problem hurting *me*…so apparently our precious friendship didn’t mean all that much to you, either!” she pointed out, eyebrows raised as she waited for a response from him that she obviously did not expect to change her mind.

“I – I don’t understand – I didn’t h-hurt you, Willow…the only one I hurt was – S-Spike…” Xander protested, his voice high and breaking in the middle as he struggled to defend his actions. “…and he deserved it! He’s just a vampire, Willow…!”

“Just a vampire,” she echoed skeptically. “Yeah – ‘just a vampire’ that happens to mean a lot to Buffy – and Dawn – and, well, pretty much all of us in one way or another. You know he *has* helped save the world a couple of times – and saved *your* life more than once, if I recall…”

She paused, her smile hardening, losing its humor, as she added, “But somehow that didn’t seem to matter to you. To get revenge on him, you were willing to hurt Buffy and Dawn – to *lie* to me – even to shoot your former fiancée – just to get back at Spike for taking what wasn’t yours to begin with!”

The blond vampire’s eyes widened with surprise, as the Slayer cautiously helped him to sit up, keeping her eyes focused warily on her friend, still watchful for any sign of a threat. Spike was still just trying to process the fact that the witch was speaking up in his defense.

“But – but Anya *was* mine!” Xander protested. “And if Spike would have left well enough alone…”

“Shut up!” Willow snarled, with a wave of her hand in his general direction that left a smooth, flat surface on his face where his mouth had been. As Xander’s eyes widened with panic, and his strangled cries struggled to escape his throat where they were trapped, she went on softly, “You dumped Anya – and *Buffy* -- was never yours! That kind of – possessive, power-mad thinking – behavior – is very dangerous, Xander.”

She paused, her smile taking on a distant, ironic sort of look, staring off into space, as she added in a voice just barely over a whisper, “I should know.”

A cold, apprehensive chill went down Spike’s back, as he imagined the destruction that was going to take place in the next few minutes, if Willow could not be stopped from this deadly course of action. He had tried his best to physically stop her, but now it was clear – that was not an option. She could simply strike down every last person in her way – and likely would – before finally destroying the boy…and any hope she might have of ever coming back from this.

Willow’s calm gaze was back on Xander’s face now, as she went on, a hint of bitter laughter in her voice, “Funny – you had to save the world from me once, Xander – and you managed to save *me*, too. And now – I have to save the world from you.”

She frowned thoughtfully for a moment, before shaking her head sadly. “Don’t think I’ll be able to save you, though.”

The group seemed to hold its collective breath as she raised a hand toward Xander, and the boy flinched back against the wall, agonizingly aware that there was no escape.

Buffy opened her mouth as if to speak – and then hesitated, biting her lower lip in frustration. She wanted to do her best to convince her friend not to do this, but was afraid of drawing Willow’s attention back in Spike’s direction.

Much to her surprise – Dawn spoke up instead.

“Willow – Willow, wait a second…please listen to me…”

Willow did not turn around – but she did not release the killing jolt of power from her hand, either. Her eyebrows rose in surprise, a little smirk playing about her lips, as she stood there for a moment in indecision, before sighing impatiently.

“What is it, Dawnie? Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind.”

“I – I haven’t,” Dawn denied it, shaking her head emphatically as she moved on trembling legs to stand directly in front of Willow. “Xander deserves to die. I know that. He’s committed murder – and torture, and lots of other horrible things that I don’t even know the names for…” Her voice softened as she cast a sorrowful glance behind her at her best friend, thinking of the terrible emotional and physical trauma that Xander had put him through.

Her jaw set with determination, she turned her eyes back to Willow, bravely holding her dark, frightening gaze. “But -- *you* don’t deserve to kill him, Willow.”

“Yeah, well, too bad. Try and stop me,” Willow muttered, her arm straightening as she stepped to the side so as to aim around Dawn’s slender frame.

“Wait! That’s not what I meant!” Dawn protested hurriedly, moving with her so that she was still in her path.

Buffy winced -- *really* not liking Dawn’s position directly in the path of so much deadly magic – but she did not say a word, waiting to hear what her sister would say.

Willow’s head tilted slightly, a puzzled frown on her pursed lips as she looked back at Dawn, waiting.

“You don’t deserve that responsibility, Willow,” Dawn clarified her former words. “You don’t deserve to have to – to carry that around for the rest of your life.” She paused, her wide blue eyes searching Willow’s beseechingly. “He might be beyond hope – but you’re not. You’ve already come back once – that means you’re stronger than this - *better* than this, Willow! Xander’s destroyed every part of his life already – but you don’t have to destroy yours.”

Willow stared at her for a long moment, her expression even and appraising. Then, her face cracked into a wicked grin, and a cruel giggle escaped her throat.

“That was very moving, Dawnie, really,” she replied in a mildly patronizing voice. “But you know – not quite moving enough. And if you get in my way again,” she continued without pause, a chilling smile on her face as she met the younger girl’s eyes, “I just might have to move *you*.”

Dawn’s eyes widened with alarm as Willow moved to the side again, taking aim at the cringing, silently sobbing Xander.

Buffy looked with alarm at Spike, as he pulled awkwardly out of her supporting arms, and struggled to his feet, lurching slightly as he came to stand directly in front of Xander again.

She gasped with fear when she realized what he intended. “Spike – what are you…?”

“I can’t let you do it, Red,” the blond vampire declared quietly, meeting her eyes intently. “Can’t let you destroy everybody else’s lives along with *this* bloody piece of trash!”

Willow’s eyes narrowed dangerously; she was ceasing to be amused by the constant interruptions.

“Get out of my way.”

“No.”

Willow blinked in astonishment at the nerve of the injured vampire, doing a slight double take. “Excuse me?”

“No, Willow,” he repeated, deliberately using her given name. “Because you might not see it now – but you will. If you kill Xander, it might not hit you right away. Might not hit you for weeks – but when it does…all bloody hell’s gonna break loose. You’ll go on another bloody end-of-the-world rampage – and there won’t be anyone to stop you…”

“No, I won’t,” Willow argued, her voice trembling slightly, despite its sharpness. “I’ll keep it under control this time…”

“When you first realize the one who means more to you than anyone in the world is dead,” Spike cut her off, shaking his head, his jaw working with emotion, “no such thing as ‘control’, Red.”

There was a moment of silence, as Willow closed her dark eyes, willing away the images that flooded her mind unbidden – images of someone who had been her entire world…someone who would never want her to do the things she was doing right now…

“I don’t know about anybody else,” Spike continued softly. “But I care too much about everybody *else* in this room – to let you kill *Xander*.”

Buffy watched him, awed at his wisdom and sacrifice, swallowing back a lump of warmth and emotion that rose up in her throat.

*God, I don’t deserve him…*

She didn’t even realize she had moved, until she was standing at Spike’s side, between Willow and Xander, clasping the vampire’s hand tightly in her own. No words were necessary – it was perfectly clear that she was seconding his words, telling Willow that she would have to strike *her* down, too, before getting to Xander.

One by one – more out of respect for the amazing move that Spike had just made than out of actual concern for Xander’s life – the rest of the group made their way to join the Slayer and the vampire, bravely facing the angry witch, whose anger was really just born of her tremendous hurt at her friend’s betrayal.

Willow’s “resolve face” visibly wavered at the sight of the group, assembled against her desires to take down her former friend.

“I – I don’t want to hurt you, Buffy – Dawn – any of you. Just – just let me do this, and…”

“Can’t,” Buffy stated firmly. “Won’t.” She paused, swallowing hard as a pained little smile crossed her lips, and tears choked her voice, as she added, “Love you too much.”

“Get. Out. Of. My. *Way*.”

“No.”

“Look, I can’t just – I’m not going to just kill you all,” Willow protested, suddenly pleading rather than demanding.

“Yeah,” Dawn agreed with a little smirk. “That’s kind of the idea.”

“Willow,” Giles said softly, his compassion for his protégé obvious in his voice, “just let it go, dear…this is not for you to do…”

Willow swallowed hard, looking away – clearly moved by the dramatic show of solidarity among the group, and of their love for each other…and for her. Buffy’s heart leapt with hope, as she watched those black eyes flicker back and forth momentarily, black to green, and back again.

And finally – just to green.

Willow was perfectly silent for a long moment, before tears began to streak her face – and in the next moment, she had collapsed to her knees, sobbing softly. “How could he…I mean…he just…Xander…” she choked out the words, gasping for breath, overwhelmed with her hurt.

Buffy’s expression softened as she made her way to her friend, crouching beside her to take her into her arms and offer her wordless comfort. As the others slowly made their way to her, Spike hung back awkwardly, unsure as to whether or not he would be really welcome. After all – he and Willow had never been overly close; and now, he was not sure how exactly she saw his part in all of this.

A soft, manic giggle behind him drew Spike’s attention, and he turned warily to see Xander looking up at him with a wild gleam in his eyes.

The spell binding his mouth had melted away with the rage that had driven Willow to cast it.

“You win,” the boy mumbled, before erupting into another crazed giggle. “You win, Spike…”

Spike eyed him cautiously, unsure what to expect from him at this point. He was clearly no longer a threat physically – but it had not been all that long since he *had* been.

“Come again?” he asked slowly, warily.

“Bet this must just be the ultimate revenge for you, huh, Spike?” Xander went on, his voice a low rasp, just over a whisper, and not having drawn the attention of the others just yet, though Spike could clearly hear it. “Must be just so satisfying for you…”

“What?” Spike asked, frowning, troubled by the boy’s manner, as well as by the fact that he had no idea what Xander was talking about.

Xander’s expression became lost, anguished, as he shook his head and whispered, “*You* -- saved *my* life – from my best friend. After – everything – it was *you* that kept her from killing me – kept her from killing all of them.” He paused, choking back a sob, his eyes shining with pain as he added, “I’m the monster that almost ended the world again – and you’re the hero who saved it.”

Another wild laugh left his throat before he added in a trembling, manic voice, “You’ve got them all – Buffy – Anya – my friends, even *Willow* -- they’ll all see you as the hero – you don’t have to kill me – because I might as well be dead to them now…it’s all over…”

His eyes grew distant, hollow, as he added softly, shaking his head, “All of them – standing between me and death – but – but they were doing it for *you*…”

Spike swallowed hard, his expression serious and thoughtful, as he took in the grain of truth in the boy’s manic ramblings.

He supposed, for Xander, that must be about the worst end result he could have imagined.

“Only one way to win,” Xander muttered under his breath, his head lolling back against the wall, his eyes closed. “Only one way out…”

A soft gasp from across the room drew Spike’s attention – and he followed Buffy’s horrified gaze back to Xander, to see him now up on his knees…

…the discarded pistol in his hand.

“Only one way…only one way…” he ranted, his eyes darting wildly between Spike and the others, who gradually became aware of the disturbing situation.

“Xander – Xander, don’t,” Buffy begged him, her voice trembling as she rose to her feet.

She knew that Xander could shoot Spike again before she could ever reach either of them.

“It’s the only way, Buffy,” the boy whispered, shaking his head in despair. “Gotta make it – right. Gotta – make it over. Gotta – gotta – it’s the only way…”

“Xander, hurting Spike again isn’t going to fix anything!” Buffy insisted, taking a couple of cautious steps toward them.

Spike hadn’t dared move, watching the boy carefully.

Xander’s bitter laughter filled the tense silence of the room again, and he looked at Spike with a cold, ironic smile, as he shook his head. “See?” he asked. “You win – like I said, you win. It’s you – not me – you…you she…she cares about…you she loves…you win…”

Suddenly, Spike’s heart lurched within him, his eyes widening as he realized the boy’s true intentions.

“No,” he said quietly – scarcely able to believe the word had come from his own mouth. “Xander, no – it’s not the way…”

Buffy frowned up at Spike in confusion, before she looked back at Xander – and her eyes widened in horror, her mouth opening into a scream that never found its voice – not until it was over.

As they watched in helpless horror, the boy’s gun arm straightened, momentarily aiming at Spike – but only in an arc, as his hand turned, bringing the gun up toward his own mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, dark eyes full of madness and agony locking onto crystal blue for the briefest of instants – before he placed the muzzle of the weapon in his mouth, and pulled the trigger.