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A Visit to the Loo by Ariel Dawn
 
A Visit to the Loo
 
 
 
Disclaimer: Not mine...That recurring dream of a Naked Spike in my bed....mmmmm

Author’s note: Happy Birthday BTL! Yes it’s late, I hope it was worth the wait. And yes, she beta’d it too!
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Buffy felt her heart beat against her rib cage. It was all she could hear. She rolled over, trying to get more comfy but in doing so, she bumped against Willow, who was occupying the other side of Giles’ bed.

She stifled a groan of frustration as Willow muttered in her sleep. Willow had tossed and turned for over an hour before succumbing to the sand man. Buffy only wished that she’d been so fortunate.

Buffy rolled over again, this time to her back, her head turning to look at the clock, the green digital numbers telling her that it was three in the morning.

Giles’ house was silent, except for her heart, which was still pounding hard. It was a wonder that Willow could sleep beside her at all.

Staring at the ceiling, Buffy reflected on why she was in this predicament, sleeping in Giles’ bed, instead of her own at the dorm, or at her mom’s house, or at Willow’s house for that matter.

Everyone at Stevenson House had been told to find other accommodations for two nights as the building was being fumigated and pest controlled. Apparently a couple of bio students had freed the campus test mice in their dorm along with a colony of fire ants from the zoology department as revenge for scheduling a party on the night before their midterms.

Stupid geeks.

The mice didn’t bother her, but the fire ants? Ouch.

So she’d talked to her mom about putting her and Willow up for two days. Unfortunately, Joyce had potential investors for the gallery staying with her for the week, so unless they wanted to sleep in the basement…

That had been why they hadn’t asked Xander. Well, that and Anya complaining about encroaching on her orgasm time.

Willow phoned her parents, only to find out that they were in New York for two weeks for a conference and they’d changed the locks on the house.

So Giles’ it was.

He’d hemmed and hawed, noting that one houseguest was already taxing enough.

Spike in the bathroom was terribly inconvenient, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Spike.

Buffy’s heart thumped harder in her chest. He was downstairs and probably only thirty or so steps from her right now.

It was making her heart beat wildly, and really, really wet.

Stupid, gorgeous vampire.

It was only a few days ago that she’d been engaged to him due to Willow’s spell gone wrong. Such close proximity at night was inconvenient.

It certainly wasn’t making her sleep.

Buffy inwardly groaned. Part of her wanted to slip out of bed and find Spike in the bathroom and let him do all those thing he had promised her on their honeymoon.

Oh god.

Buffy willed her eyes shut.

Don’t think about the hot vampire who made you come while sitting on his lap, fully clothed, three days ago, Buffy thought to herself.

The clock changed from 3:04am to 3:05am.

Memories of being in Spike’s lap flooded her mind. The way he held her, the way he touched her in just the right place, the way he kissed her.

Ah, screw it.

With stealth and grace, Buffy slid out of the Giles’ bed, putting the covers back just so. She didn’t want a draft of all things waking up Willow.

Buffy stepped towards the door.

“Hello little tadpoles,” murmured Willow in her sleep.

Buffy tried not to jump in surprise. She blew out a breath, trying to calm herself down.

It didn’t matter, her heart was still pounding in her chest, violently.

The only way this would stop was for her to get to the bathroom. Spike was in the bathroom.

With utmost care, and completely and so incredibly slowly, she turned the knob to the door.

And pulled it open.

Willow rolled over in the bed.

She’s gotta stop doing that.

Buffy slipped out the door and closed the wooden barrier behind her. One obstacle down, the stairs and Giles to go.

Silently, Buffy wiped her sweaty palms on her yummy sushi pyjamas.

Why am I so nervous? she asked herself. I am just going to…

Buffy stopped dead in her tracks.

What the hell am I doing?

She felt like an idiot, standing there at the top of the stairs at three something in the morning, with her heart pounding and a slick feeling between her legs.

Why am I even up? she inwardly ranted. Oh ya, can’t sleep, ‘cause Spike’s thirty steps away.

That did it. The Spike craving was back in full force.

Buffy’s bare foot edged toward the step, tentatively at first.

With each step and subsequent creak of the wood, Buffy cringed, waiting for someone to call out her name, ask her what she was doing, and force her back to bed.

Sneaking past the living room and Giles, who was sound asleep on the couch, Buffy headed towards the bathroom.

The bathroom door stood closed before her.

Giles turned on the couch in the living room, and Buffy turned her head sharply, poised to flee.

Her watcher’s rhythmic snore started up again and the Slayer breathed a sigh of relief.

Carefully, Buffy turned the bathroom doorknob and pushed the door open.

And stared into the eyes of a very surprised vampire, still chained to the tub, clad in jeans and the tee that he’d been wearing, probably since the 1980’s.

She had actually been expecting that, the thing she wasn’t expecting was the fact that he was painting his fingernails in the middle of the night, without any light.

“Oh bloody hell, look what you made me do!”

Of course she couldn’t see. She could hardly believe that he could see what he was doing either.

So she switched on the light, blinding them both for a moment.

Spike’s profanity echoed off the tile.

“Shhh! You’ll wake Giles!” Buffy hissed.

“Why’d you turn on the light, you stupid bint?” he hissed back, apparently not willing to wake the watcher either.

“’Cause I couldn’t see what I had done.”

Spike lifted up his hand to show her his ruined paint job.

“Oh.”

“Switch off the bloody light!” he ordered.

Obediently, Buffy flipped the switch to the off position, taking a few moments to let her eyes readjust.

“What are you…” started Spike looking at her curiously. “You don’t have to use the loo do you?”

“No.”

“Come to check up on the impotent vampire? Make sure he’s not doing anything evil in the middle of the night?”

“No,” Buffy replied nervously.

She was starting to regret the whole thing. Why was she here?

“Came to take advantage of the man chained to the tub then?” he said taking an obvious sniff of the air.

“I…uh…you are hardly a man, Spike,” she retorted at last.

“Man enough. But I thought you liked your men cold.”

“Ha!”

“Oh, so that wasn’t you getting off in my lap not too long ago?”

That’s when the heat returned to Buffy’s face.

“I see how it is,” Spike continued. “You were going to take advantage of me all chained to the bathtub.”

“Like you’d mind.”

“Not the most comfy place, but it’ll have to do,” he said without ceremony. He rattled the chains a bit, getting comfy.

Then Buffy heard the sound of a zipper.

Which brought Buffy back to her own warped reality. The romance flew right out the blacked out window.

“Pants off, let’s go.”

“What?” Buffy snapped.

“We got only a few hours before the sun rises. Guarantee that’ll wake up your watcher on the couch.”

“No, this isn’t…” Buffy stammered, backing up against the door, her eyes darting around to look at anything but the vampire in front of her.

“Not what you expected?”

“No.”

“Just what were you expecting? Romance? Roses? Poetry?”

“Kinda.”

Buffy heard him zip up.

“You were expecting a repeat of the faux engagement then?”

Buffy ducked her head in response.

“Not in love with you now, am I?”

“Then why…” Buffy started but couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Fancied it was the closest thing to real shag in a while,” Spike answered. “Don’t have bints breaking down the loo’s door to play with my bits and pieces do I?

“Pig.”

“Male.”

Buffy nodded her head in understanding. It was the spell, just the spell. Still she could have sworn it was something more. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“Would it have made a difference to you?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“You don’t love me anymore. Would the sex have made you feel the same way you felt under the witch’s spell?”

“I…I don’t know,” Buffy finally answered.

Spike cocked an eyebrow at that comment.

“Doesn’t speak highly about you then, does it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t love me, but you expect to feel loved back by using the poor vamp chained to the tub to scratch your itch.”

“Well, when you put it that way…Glad you stopped me,” she sighed.

“Are not.”

“What do you know about it?” she snapped back.

“I can smell you, slayer.”

It took Buffy a second to clue in to just what he meant by that comment.

“Ewww.”

“Bloody delicious smell too.”

Buffy tried to ignore him. Really she did. She just couldn’t help the smile that fluttered over her lips briefly. Buffy turned to face the door, hiding the smile, her hand on the doorknob.

“Why’d you love me? Besides the spell?” she whispered into the wood.

“Doesn’t seem to be important now does it? I probably could have written bloody poetry on that topic three days ago.”

“It’s important to me,” she responded, turning to face him again.

There was a pause as Spike gathered his thoughts. There was only one way the Slayer was going to satisfied with his answer: the truth was his only option.

“I suppose it was you. You’re beautiful, thoughtful, considerate, for the most part, and you care about this world and the people in it. Why the hell did you think I joined up to save the world that one time? Most of the gits who roam this bloody planet don’t know what you do, or why you do it, just muckin’ around in their pathetic lives. You make sure they have those pathetic lives. And no matter how hard you try, you’ll never get the normal you want. I wanted to show you that normal was overrated, but that you think you want it, kinda sad, in an endearing way. You’re also completely shagable.”

“Shagable?”

“Shagworthy? Is that better?”

“No.”

“Satisfied?”

“A little bit,” Buffy turned the doorknob slightly, only to be cut off by Spike’s voice before she could pull the door open.

“Why’d you love me then?” the vampire asked.

Buffy turned to face him again, the small smiled that had appeared on her face while Spike had spoken vanishing in an instant.

“You helped me save the world. I know that sounds lame. Saving the world showed me that you are capable of love. Well, that and Dru. Also, sorta, you’re my equal, you know? And I’m yours. I’m not trying to be vain or anything. The slayer of slayers is my equal, I just, I see it. Evenly matched. Two halves. And I saw you. I saw through the big bad image. I don’t know who you were before you were turned but this,” she waved her hand at him, “this wasn’t it, and I loved you for it.”

“Shows what you know,” Spike snorted.

“I’ll keep my opinions to myself then.” She smiled back at him.

“Probably why you didn’t stake me during the lips of Spike revulsion.”

“Mmm, lips of Spike,” she giggled.

“Tease.”

“Thank you,” Buffy suddenly said.

“For the tease comment?” Spike asked with a frown.

“No, ass. For being honest.”

“Not for disgusting you enough to make you not want to shag me senseless? ‘Cause I’m regretting that.”

“No, for making it more meaningful when I do, shag you senseless.”

“Beg you pardon?”

“Enjoy the rest of your night, Spike,” she said with a wink, opening the bathroom door.

Buffy closed the door behind her, leaving Spike open mouthed and confused. The smile on her face was genuine, and she had a feeling that whatever honesty had started with this visit to the ‘loo’ would make her life much more interesting in the days to come.
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fini