A huge thanks to my betas Enigmaticblues and Brooke. This was written for the Welcome Back to the Hellmouth Kinkathon.





Spike hesitated in front of the house on Revello drive. Lighting the cigarette hanging from his lips, he inhaled deeply closing his eyes. He hated this place; he hated this entire bloody town. It was a constant reminder of all that he had lost. Every day since her death, all he wanted was a way to end the pain. Most nights he could find temporary solace at the bottom of a bottle, but not tonight. Tonight she needed him.

His single reason for ever being sober was the promise that he had made on that fateful night. The promise to protect her sister…till the end of the world. In the end that promise had saved his life. After seeing her jump off of the tower, the only thing stopping him from meeting the rising sun was his need to comfort the shattered teen that she had left behind.

In the months since that night, Spike was the one person that had put her needs first. Sure Red and Glinda had moved in and taken over the daily responsibilities. Giles had taken measures to conceal Buffy’s death so the state didn’t move in to take custody of the girl. And Xander…well Spike had yet to see his contribution to the group, but when all was said and done it was the soulless vampire who understood Dawn’s pain. He was the only one who shared her pain.

They had mourned together; clinging to one another like a lifeline. The others were too caught up in their own lives to see the depth of Dawn’s despair. His Nibblet, however, had become his life. So tonight when she had called on the cell phone Giles had provided, he promptly put down his bottle and hurried to Revello Drive.

Taking a final drag on his cigarette, Spike tossed it aside and made his way toward the door. He didn’t need his enhanced hearing to know that the Scoobies were arguing. He was about to knock when the door was flung open. Dawn launched herself into his arms and began to sob uncontrollably.

“See I told you he would come,” she cried against his leather clad chest.

“Dawnie, I told you not to call Spike…we can work this out.” Willow softly admonished the teen.

“It’s okay,” Spike whispered quietly to the sobbing teen, ignoring the witch.

Taking her face in his hands he gently wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Wha’s the matter Bit?”

“They were going to have some big Scooby meeting and Anya was going to stay here with me, but she got mad for being excluded so then they were all fighting over what to do…and I told them you wouldn’t mind…” Dawn rambled

Spike hugged the teen reassuringly, angered by the groups actions. The last thing the shattered girl needed was to feel like a burden in her own home.

“Where’s Giles?” Spike asked raising an eyebrow, noting his absence.

They just stared at him slack jawed until Willow finally spoke up.

“He couldn’t come,” Willow informed him.

“You’re having a big Scooby meeting without the watcher?” Spike asked in disbelief.

“It’s not really an official Scooby meeting,” Xander offered nervously.

“Right,” Spike said not even wanting to hear the rest. “Listen…I’m here now, just go on with your meeting, and I’ll sit here with the Nibblet.” Spike waved them off.

“Th-Thank you Spike,” Tara smiled shyly.

Spike could never manage to be angry at the blond Wicca. He knew she really cared for Dawn, even if she never seemed to find her voice to speak up against her lover.

“No problem, Glinda,” Spike smiled.

********************

When the Scoobies had all left, leaving their list of instructions for Spike, he turned toward the moping teen.

“So you want to tell me why you really called?” Spike asked.

“What? I told you they were fighting and…”

“Nibblet you don’t have to lie; not to me,” Spike reassured her.

Dawn’s lip began to tremble as her eyes once again filled with tears. “They blame me,” she cried, slumping down on the couch.
“They what? They said that?” Spike grabbed her arms enraged at her admission.

“No…they never came out and said it, but that is only because they never talk to me. They talk at me and around me. I can just see it in their eyes, Spike. Who could blame them…it is my fault. It should have been me who died,” the teen sobbed.

Spike shook her gently by the arms in an attempt to get her to listen to him. “No! That is not true Dawn. Your sister…” Spike sighed, letting out a ragged, unneeded breath, “Buffy made a choice. She wanted you to live.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore…in this house. I know you hate it too. You think I don’t see you standing outside, dreading coming in here?”

“It’s hard, Bit…but I wouldn’t stop. I’ll always come here…for you,” Spike answered honestly.

“Then take me away, Spike. Let’s leave Sunnydale. You are the only family I have left. You never make me feel like…I’m not real…Please, Spike,” she begged.

Spike took the crying girl in his arms. She was like family to him now. He loved her like she was his own flesh and blood. There was nothing he would like more than to leave this town forever, taking the girl with him, but he knew they would never allow them to leave.

“You know I can’t …I would if I could,” Spike murmured stroking her hair.

Dawn cried, holding on tighter. She knew he was right. Her sister’s friends would never let them leave. Though they didn’t really even care about her, they loved patting themselves on the back at the tremendous sacrifice they were making.

“I just want to know when the pain will go away, Spike,” The girl cried against his chest.

As the tears started to flow down his face, Spike closed his eyes drawing a ragged unneeded breath.

“So do I Dawn…so do I”


*********************


As the Scoobies sat in the Magic Box, Tara was the first one to speak.“Are you sure we shouldn’t tell Giles and Spike about this? I m-mean they really did love Buffy and…”

She was abruptly cut off by Xander. “Spike never loved her! He had some kind of sick obsession with her! And Giles, he wouldn’t understand.”

“B-but what he’s done for Dawn…,” Tara tried. She was again cut off, this time by her lover.

“No, Tara! No one else can know.” Willow said trying to control her irritation at her girlfriend’s insistence to defend Spike.

“We need to keep this between the three…four of us,” she corrected herself, scowling toward Anya.

“Are you sure we should do this, Will? I mean I miss Buffy, too, but…,” Xander started.

“Xander…she is stuck in some Hell dimension! We can’t just leave her there!” Willow reminded him. “I mean do you really think she would just leave us stuck in Hell?”

Xander looked down sheepishly. “No…of course she wouldn’t. What’s the plan, Will?”

Willow smiled triumphantly. “Okay, then it’s set. We do this the next full moon.”